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Hey Pandas, AITA For Being Insensitive Towards A Pet Sitter That Did A Bad Job?
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Hey Pandas, AITA For Being Insensitive Towards A Pet Sitter That Did A Bad Job?

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Moderator’s note:

If you find yourself disagreeing with this person’s actions, we encourage you not to downvote the post. Instead, kindly express your opinions in the comments. We recommend maintaining politeness and articulating your thoughts with well-constructed arguments.

We had a two-week vacation planned, and a friend’s 22-year-old child agreed to pet sit for most of our trip. My brother was here for the first couple of days because it was Thanksgiving weekend. He let us know that our dog was growling at the pet sitter since she was clearly stressed. My brother took her to the nearby park with some of the neighbor dogs and she warmed up to the sitter. My brother stayed to transition to this friend’s child in person because the dog was still stressed and growled at him occasionally.

Before arrival, I texted the pet sitter acknowledging that there had been issues. I provided a neighbor’s contact information and said that she did better after time with my brother and doggo friends in the park, and I got acknowledgment and a statement that she is “still definitely nervous”.

I checked in the next day, and the response from the pet sitter was that the dog was “definitely pretty nervous” but had been fed and acted normal when the neighbor and their dog came by

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Image credits: Claudio Schwarz (not the actual photo)

The pet sitter didn’t update until four days later, confirming our return date. He stated that the dog is eating more regularly, especially when prompted by the friend’s dog. Cats were “aloof”. (We have four cats in addition to the doggo.)

In the meantime, the neighbor messages me, stating that the pet sitter has only gone out with the dog once

Image credits: Andriyko Podilnyk (not the actual photo)

On the first day – the neighbor was picking the dog up for walks instead and that time in the park. The neighbor said that the dog was in our bedroom for 22 hours between his visits, as reported by the pet sitter. I asked the pet sitter about this, and he stated that he had homework and that this would not be the case for the coming days. He also added that doggo goes to our bedroom as soon as the neighbor leaves.

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At this point, we were looking at coming home early. The neighbor offered to try taking the dog to her house first – see how she does.

I informed the pet sitter that the neighbor would take the dog and that we were looking at coming home early. The response was just “alright”

Image credits: Kelli McClintock (not the actual photo)

The following week, I messaged the pet sitter, instructing him to leave on Thursday night, asking only to fill the cat food and water and clean the litter box, as we’d be home late on Friday.

Upon our return, we found empty food bowls, and almost empty water bowl, with one fountain completely empty and unplugged

Image credits: FLOUFFY (not the actual photo)

I messaged the next morning, “We are furious, saddened, and extremely disappointed to find the condition of our home (not addressed here), empty food bowls, empty water, and litter boxes that hadn’t been cleaned in several days (they were nearly solid with urine and refuse). On top of zero effort to gain our pets’ trust and relying on neighbors, who we had not made arrangements with, and were not paying to care for Piper. Please don’t agree to care for anyone else’s home and pets until you can appreciate the trust they are putting in you and take that responsibility seriously. That’s as nicely as I am able to state my feelings.”

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Following this exchange, the mom and aunt of the child, who are both good friends of ours, canceled our holiday plans, stating that they were upset about my message to the vulnerable pet sitter. The mother of the pet sitter has told me about his mental health concerns. No therapy, no diagnosis, no meds. I’m not denying that there are mental health issues. But, it doesn’t take much effort to scoop a box, put food in the bowls, and fill the water fountains. I was brutally honest. My perspective is that there was no effort. My pets were the vulnerable ones.

Of course, there have been more exchanges, and no one is being dramatic or shutting the others out completely. However, AITA?

Our dog is generally super sweet and friendly. I rescued her 4/1 of this year. She had been friendly with both brother and pet sitter in the past. As reflected by my brother and neighbors, she growled at first because she was scared. Once she was with friends and brother at the park, it reaffirmed that he was a safe person. She was still hesitant and did growl at him again the next day, but warmed up.

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Moderator’s note:

Please note that the images included in this article are for illustrative purposes only and do not represent the actual individuals or items discussed in the story.

If you have a comparable experience or story you’d to tell, we welcome your submissions. Click here to share your story with Bored Panda.

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Orwell

Orwell

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This lazy panda forgot to write something about itself.

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Orwell

Orwell

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This lazy panda forgot to write something about itself.

Ieva Midveryte

Ieva Midveryte

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Hello Pandas! My name is Ieva, though it's often mistaken for the word 'Leva,' and in Lithuanian, it means 'loser' (insert the pain emoji). While I don't take offense if you accidentally call me a loser, I thought I'd share something interesting with you, which I also do professionally at work.Anywayyy, my favorite part here is introducing you to creative people who deserve just as much recognition as famous celebrities. Besides that, I also enjoy memes and funny, lighthearted posts, and occasionally, I find myself drawn to a bit of internet drama.

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Ieva Midveryte

Ieva Midveryte

Moderator, BoredPanda staff

Hello Pandas! My name is Ieva, though it's often mistaken for the word 'Leva,' and in Lithuanian, it means 'loser' (insert the pain emoji). While I don't take offense if you accidentally call me a loser, I thought I'd share something interesting with you, which I also do professionally at work.Anywayyy, my favorite part here is introducing you to creative people who deserve just as much recognition as famous celebrities. Besides that, I also enjoy memes and funny, lighthearted posts, and occasionally, I find myself drawn to a bit of internet drama.

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Janelle Collard
Community Member
Premium
10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

First: 22 is NOT a child. You didn't ask a 10-yr-old to pet-sit. Second: your note was way nicer than anything I would've written! Third: if "pet-sitter" has problems, shouldn't that have been brought up BEFORE agreeing to pet-sit?

Leta Schoeller
Community Member
10 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Agreed, 22 is NOT a child and should definitely know how to fill food/water bowls, and scoop litter. Also know how to communicate and not need to whine to mommy. edit: a lot of people who are 22 are in their last year of college or graduating, meaning they should be entering the workforce soon.

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Libstak
Community Member
10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA if the pet sitters mum knew there were mental health issues, that should have been addressed before any agreement for the job. All excuses now but no responsibility when it was needed. It goes without saying, this was easy money and you were lied to about pet sitters suitability to do this.

Community Member
10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Parents used Zelle to return the cash that was left. I left another $50 in gift cards for local restaurants. I didn't get the impression that it was an acknowledgement of fault. Especially bc it came from parents rather than that house sitter. Regardless, we did get most of the payment back.

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Nigel Sulley
Community Member
10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't understand why you would think you would be the AH for getting mad at someone, you pay, that doesn't do the job you paid for? Seems very reasonable to be mad when you don't get the service you spend hard earned money on. Be it pet sitter or roofer or whatever.. you pay for a service, you rightfully expect that service.

Community Member
10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just my own hang ups. It's very rare that that a friend is angry with me. I couldn't help but wonder if maybe I wasn't seeing this clearly.

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Janelle Collard
Community Member
Premium
10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

First: 22 is NOT a child. You didn't ask a 10-yr-old to pet-sit. Second: your note was way nicer than anything I would've written! Third: if "pet-sitter" has problems, shouldn't that have been brought up BEFORE agreeing to pet-sit?

Leta Schoeller
Community Member
10 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Agreed, 22 is NOT a child and should definitely know how to fill food/water bowls, and scoop litter. Also know how to communicate and not need to whine to mommy. edit: a lot of people who are 22 are in their last year of college or graduating, meaning they should be entering the workforce soon.

Load More Replies...
Libstak
Community Member
10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA if the pet sitters mum knew there were mental health issues, that should have been addressed before any agreement for the job. All excuses now but no responsibility when it was needed. It goes without saying, this was easy money and you were lied to about pet sitters suitability to do this.

Community Member
10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Parents used Zelle to return the cash that was left. I left another $50 in gift cards for local restaurants. I didn't get the impression that it was an acknowledgement of fault. Especially bc it came from parents rather than that house sitter. Regardless, we did get most of the payment back.

Load More Replies...
Nigel Sulley
Community Member
10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't understand why you would think you would be the AH for getting mad at someone, you pay, that doesn't do the job you paid for? Seems very reasonable to be mad when you don't get the service you spend hard earned money on. Be it pet sitter or roofer or whatever.. you pay for a service, you rightfully expect that service.

Community Member
10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just my own hang ups. It's very rare that that a friend is angry with me. I couldn't help but wonder if maybe I wasn't seeing this clearly.

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