There is a saying, "Two wrongs don't make a right." If it was wrong (and it was) for the children to cut the flowers in this person's garden, it was also wrong for this person to do the same thing. Instead of solving the problem there's at least 5 angry people. This was not handled well.

It was stupid of the mothers to say anything except making the kids (pre-teens/NOT children) apologize and/or reimbursing you for the flowers lost. And yes, that was petty of you to cut up another's flowers instead of using your words. I'm all for pettiness, but I don't think anyone learned anything here.

I'm going to probably have an unpopular opinion, but not the AH. A different saying applies here, no not an eye for an eye. The saying I'm thinking of treat others the way you want to be treated. If this lady allows her kids to just continue treating people's property like this and blame you for it, not to mention the foul language of her and her kids, then she shouldn't be surprised if one day her flowers disappear, or the family van has a single nail in the tire. Two rights don't make a wrong, but if the other party doesn't play that same rulebook you're not entitled to either. I will say as long as no one gets hurt, in this scenario you're NOT the AH.

As a fellow gardener, I get it, I really do, but...OP shouldn't have done it.

Petty, but I'm here for it. People think their kids can do no wrong, but I've worked in a middle school and their kids are NOT, in fact, angels. Tell them to go pick flowers in their own yards! This is why there is no village anymore. No one wants to confront s****y parents because it's a pain to teach grown adults how to be respectful of others instead of raising entitled twats like themselves. Stop enabling them!

People are talking about disproportional response. I have yet to hear any constructive alternatives.

I'm not saying OP was right, but what did those mothers and children expect? Just imagine if those kids grow up to talk like that to someone and get themselves stabbed or shot or something. It will come back and bite you in the @$$. They should consider themselves lucky it was just their garden that got vandalized out of retaliation.

Appalling behaviour from an adult.

Valuable lesson for the mothers, they obviously don't know that a parents only job is to teach their children to live in society. Now they know.

ESH -- They shouldn't have cut your flowers or sworn at you (BTW, most teens do know swear words) and the teen years is too old for the "they're just children" excuse, but doing it back was way too petty and extreme.

I'm honestly curious what a good alternative for her would have been? I understand her horror at how this was handled, but it really does cause a war now between neighbors. I think there could be an alternative solution but it sounds like she responded in anger rather than finding out what a good legal and responsible option would be. Perhaps install security cameras or call the non emergency hotline and say that children are abusing people's flowers. I could get grief about this but the author is wanting to know if they handled it properly and I don't see any comments saying much for alternative options so I'm curious - anyone else got any ideas on how to take the high road but still set up a boundary line to hold to?.

uggh, that was kinda annoying to read, always switching between the normal text and the titles for the pics.

NTA. At first I thought so until you described the bounty of expensive florals at these children's homes. Which they did Not pick (I wonder why). I have seen a good standard of entitlement as being: if you need to travel somewhere to behave in ways that arent acceptable at home (skateboards in the cul de sac rather than your own driveway, littering in the park, picking flowers at someone's house) then You are not the a*****e. I hope you saved every flower to compensate. Their flowers will grow back after your pruning, yours are annuals.

They had no respect the parents had no respect. Talking it out obviously wasn’t going to work. She could have called the police because technically it’s theft and vandalism. Now they know how it feels hopefully they will put in end to it before it goes farther. A toddler I get oh it’s a kid though you still teach right from wrong . My daughter stole a troll at age one, or tried 2. The she’s a child only went so far. That was her first lesson. She had to wait a week to get that troll as at that point I couldn’t very well buy it for her. Teaching starts from the cradle on

Two wrongs don't make a right but in this one I agree with the OP. The mother's should have NEVER approached OP that way. It's a lesson no one will forget for a while.

Unless they know it was you and why you did it (and it's still wrong and yes YTA) you didn't even accomplish anything or teach anything. This world is so sad because people simply refuse to even try communicating with words ever.

Omg adults playing toddlers, parents of children need to teach the kids that other people's property is not their to take. Op is a huge huge A, I wouldn't be surprised if the mothers talked to the police about the vandalism. Not a good look at all

Nta let thm fully understand how they made you feel

YTA. Don't be surprised if those kids come back to retaliate now that you've gone after their moms. Please consider growing up.

YTA. An eye for an eye leaves everyone blind.

I'm sure there were a thousand and one other options before jumping straight to vandalism.

I can't stand these parents who are raising these entitled coddled kids who do whatever they want with no consequences. One day they are going to F with the wrong ppl and get a really big wake up call

The boundaries have now been set to invite further escalation...

Maybe all these so called parents who coddle their kids ( you know the angels that do no wrong) would do their job and raise their kids right this wouldn't happen. Those kids are too old to act like babies. This generation needs to do better or we are all in trouble in the future.

There's an old saying: Two wrongs don't make a right! There's another old saying: WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND! There's so much wrong with this scenerio, starting with two over entitled 'muthuhs' who should have been profusely embarrassed & apologizing for their 'hellspores's behavior & language. The OP's reaction, while extreme, does have ME chuckling about one thought: If The 'Evidence' Ain't Displayed, HOW ARE THESE 'SUPERIOR LADIES WHO LUNCH' GONNA PROVE IT WASN'T THEIRS OR SOMEBODY ELSE'S BRATS THAT DONE THE DEED?!😜

It sounds like something I would want to do, but wouldn't because I still have to live with these people. I don't know what the solution is - I might've started with a garden party for the neighborhood, to educate people about the time and care put into growing the flowers, and let everyone see how much nicer it is to enjoy growing plants than dying flowers. I don't know that would have solved it, but if it didn't, you could have presented the parents with a bill for the damage, and the other neighbors may have shamed them into paying it, once the understood the value of the work destroyed.

I understand the lesson u were trying to teach. The way u went about was just as childish as the children. I understand they r old enough to understand right n wrong. I like planting flowers n I don't mind if someone picks them, that's y I grow them. Yes I understand not everyone wants they're pretty flowers picked. U could have talked to the parents n made a sign plz do not pick. Thank u. No one's perfect n we all have been petty to some else. Try making amends, it's a start in the right direction

A bit of overreacting. She's lucky if she was not charged with vandalism and property damage.

You are a child for doing this. YTA

Is OP also 12?

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Roses are WAY harder to grow than wussy zinnias. Way to bully and hurt more plants because you thought you're right. When I catch children pulling on flowers, plants, and trees I ask them how they would like to be pulled up by their hair. *That* has always made my point. Shame on your petty soul.

To all here who say OP should have talked it out?... do you think she held her tongue when the Parents came to tell her SHE was WRONG for telling their precious babies that they shouldn't be DESTROYING OTHER PEOPLE'S PROPERTY?! To those who think she should install cameras, call the Police, go to court and get restraining orders.?...Have you ever tried to do such things in a similar situation? I doubt she would have done more than flush her money and raise her blood pressure in doing so. And while these options obviously sound like 'being the Adult' (Even though these kids Parents weren't acting like adults) and 'taking the high road', I believe OP had very slim chances of coming out on top in any of those situations. Someone needs to BE the 'Parent'. Unfortunately, the kids are too immature and the parents are too ignorant. Without consequences, there is no learning. They all needed a lesson. OP may have started a war, but I hope her opponents at least come away feeling some pain due to their own actions.

Flowers??? ESH/YTA - kids these days are by far worse than the kids who are now adults in terms of neighborhood behavior, and the slurs and swears I hear make me sickened with sadness that these kids see no issues with cussing out an adult that they have (perceived or observed) slighted. But here's the YTA- those are FLOWERS. THEY GROW BACK. Why is it such a big deal that OP felt justified trespassing and vandalizing someone else's property? I'm also confused about the idea that OP was angry with children and decided to act exactly the way the kids did that created the situation in the first place? I'm sensing they're a young under 25 or an older mid 50 with this whole "this is my property if you touch it I'll touch yours" attitude. Either way, trim the flowers out of access except for a small pot for the autistic kiddo to enjoy still and stop being petty over a plant. Be grateful to have a yard and a home you get to landscape as you please when that's more than many people can say.

Those kids didn't like her showing kindness to the autistic child and retaliated to actually hurt that child more than her. Those vandals need community service helping kids with special needs.

I think what you did was terrible! As a gardener myself I know how long it takes perennials like roses or bougainvilleas to blossom whereas zinnias are annuals that basically blossom no matter what. You stick the young plant or seed in the dirt and a couple months later you have a flower. The last rose I planted took 5 years before it had multiple blossoms on it. What you did was a petty overreaction and I don't think you can consider yourself an "adult" without apologizing for this misstep. Shame on you! Shame on the kids too but they are kids!

Yta as an adult you should have talked it out instead you decided to act like a 12 year old. This is how neighborhood fights start.