Hey Pandas, AITA For Getting A Lawyer For My Inheritance Conflict With My Step And Half-Siblings?
Moderator’s note:
If you find yourself disagreeing with this person’s actions, we encourage you not to downvote the post. Instead, kindly express your opinions in the comments. We recommend maintaining politeness and articulating your thoughts with well-constructed arguments.
My mother (55) passed away unexpectedly in a car accident 2 years ago
Image credits: Clark Van Der Beken (not the actual photo)
I 32F have two stepbrothers, 36 and 38, and one half sister, 29. I do not know who my biological father is, and neither did my mother. My mother and I had a very rocky relationship, and I even said some things I wish I hadn’t the day she passed away.
My stepdad and siblings held her memorial without me
Image credits: Eli Solitas (not the actual photo)
I live across the country, and they wouldn’t give me 2 days to get there. Now, my mom inherited a large amount of land when my grandmother passed away. She and my stepdad had been married about 18 years at that point.
Now that my mom is gone, my stepbrothers seem to think they have a right to my mom’s land, and my sister thinks it’s all going to her
Image credits: Federico Respini (not the actual photo)
They are all wrong, the land was inherited by my mother, is only in her name, so her husband has rights, because he was married to her, but he cannot sell or will the land to anyone. When he is gone, it will automatically go to my sister and I. I also have sentimental ties to this land, my mother abandoned me, multiple times, and each time, that land is where I was taken. All of my ancestors’ ashes are spread on that land. My brothers have no ties to it whatsoever, I just don’t understand what makes them think they have a right?
AITA for getting a lawyer involved?
Moderator’s note:
Please note that the images included in this article are for illustrative purposes only and do not represent the actual individuals or items discussed in the story.
If you have a comparable experience or story you’d like to tell, we welcome your submissions. Click here to share your story with Bored Panda.
Poll Question
Thanks! Check out the results:
28Kviews
Share on FacebookAbsolutely get a lawyer. Even if they were full siblings and you all get along, you should still get a lawyer. Inheritances bring out the worst in some people, and they really show you who they are. Don't wait, because they could already have retained a lawyer to try to figure out every possible way to screw you out of your birthright.
You don't seem to have good relationship to your family, so I guess there's nothing to lose? Feel free to have a lawyer on your case to protect your rights and inheritance. Maybe your mother has written a will you don't know about the lawyer will find for you to understand where this is coming from
You’re right to get a lawyer. Reads like your mom passed without a will and your stepbrothers are trying to make claims they aren’t legally entitled to. I’m sorry for your loss; you have enough to deal with, without spending emotional energy on fighting with them.
Thank you I've chosen to ignore their claims. My lawyer has broken it all down to me, and when our dad dies, and what was MY moms goes to me, then they'll listen.
Load More Replies...Unless the land is held in a trust pre-dating your mom's inheritance of it, then your mom's will says who inherits it. If she didn't have a will, then it will follow state or federal rules regarding inheritance. Could be that step-dad gets half and you & sister get 1/4 each. Step brothers could inherit their dad's half when he passes.
Yes, you should involve a lawyer ASAP to ensure that you get what you're entitled to. When you have found a lawyer, let him/her handle everything: if your step-siblings
cause a fuss, refer them to your lawyer and leave it at that.
Load More Replies...Lawyer up. Even if everyone is civil: inheritance bring out the worst, double if it's acres/houses. been there, done that...
There should always be a lawyer involved in inheritance, it's a legal minefield if you aren't familiar with the processes.
Your family were already NC and them denying you the chance to say goodbye to your mother will not good look in the eyes of any judge. But be careful what you put on social media as they will come hunting for character assassination. Good luck.
Follow the will. If you want to do anything for the step-family out of the goodness of your heart, that's up to you, but getting a lawyer to ensure the will is followed, especially if there's a lot of value involved, is highly sensible.
The poll question sidesteps the entire point of the article. Should this person get a lawyer? YES, and fast. There's already animosity and competition, so what are you losing by having a professional and an advocate. This avoids a lot of drama in a dramatic family. And no, your step brothers shouldn't have any claim unless there is a document that says otherwise. A document that a good lawyer could investigate and contest. Good luck
My elderly father is worth millions. He's leaving everything to his younger 3rd wife so neither his children nor the mother of his children will ever get any of it. Why do that? Because he is a petty narcissist incapable of simple generosity towards people who dared tell him he hurt them. Besides, if he's gone, he can't get anything for it in return, so no. He *was* a lawyer, btw.
Laws vary from state to state. If there was a will that left things to your mother, those things will pass to her husband, not her children unless she had a will that stated otherwise.
Absolutely get a lawyer. Even if they were full siblings and you all get along, you should still get a lawyer. Inheritances bring out the worst in some people, and they really show you who they are. Don't wait, because they could already have retained a lawyer to try to figure out every possible way to screw you out of your birthright.
You don't seem to have good relationship to your family, so I guess there's nothing to lose? Feel free to have a lawyer on your case to protect your rights and inheritance. Maybe your mother has written a will you don't know about the lawyer will find for you to understand where this is coming from
You’re right to get a lawyer. Reads like your mom passed without a will and your stepbrothers are trying to make claims they aren’t legally entitled to. I’m sorry for your loss; you have enough to deal with, without spending emotional energy on fighting with them.
Thank you I've chosen to ignore their claims. My lawyer has broken it all down to me, and when our dad dies, and what was MY moms goes to me, then they'll listen.
Load More Replies...Unless the land is held in a trust pre-dating your mom's inheritance of it, then your mom's will says who inherits it. If she didn't have a will, then it will follow state or federal rules regarding inheritance. Could be that step-dad gets half and you & sister get 1/4 each. Step brothers could inherit their dad's half when he passes.
Yes, you should involve a lawyer ASAP to ensure that you get what you're entitled to. When you have found a lawyer, let him/her handle everything: if your step-siblings
cause a fuss, refer them to your lawyer and leave it at that.
Load More Replies...Lawyer up. Even if everyone is civil: inheritance bring out the worst, double if it's acres/houses. been there, done that...
There should always be a lawyer involved in inheritance, it's a legal minefield if you aren't familiar with the processes.
Your family were already NC and them denying you the chance to say goodbye to your mother will not good look in the eyes of any judge. But be careful what you put on social media as they will come hunting for character assassination. Good luck.
Follow the will. If you want to do anything for the step-family out of the goodness of your heart, that's up to you, but getting a lawyer to ensure the will is followed, especially if there's a lot of value involved, is highly sensible.
The poll question sidesteps the entire point of the article. Should this person get a lawyer? YES, and fast. There's already animosity and competition, so what are you losing by having a professional and an advocate. This avoids a lot of drama in a dramatic family. And no, your step brothers shouldn't have any claim unless there is a document that says otherwise. A document that a good lawyer could investigate and contest. Good luck
My elderly father is worth millions. He's leaving everything to his younger 3rd wife so neither his children nor the mother of his children will ever get any of it. Why do that? Because he is a petty narcissist incapable of simple generosity towards people who dared tell him he hurt them. Besides, if he's gone, he can't get anything for it in return, so no. He *was* a lawyer, btw.
Laws vary from state to state. If there was a will that left things to your mother, those things will pass to her husband, not her children unless she had a will that stated otherwise.
27
23