Hey Pandas, AITA For Getting Mad At My Friend And Moving Away From Him At The Cinema?
Alright, gather ’round for this wild tale about my “friend”, let’s call him Oliver. He is a character, and by that, I mean he’s stubborn, self-absorbed, and walks on the sensitive side. Mentioning his name outside of his inner circle is like stepping on a landmine; tears are inevitable. Oh, and he has this delightful habit of spitting whenever he talks, laughs, or eats, leading me to sacrifice half my snacks on countless occasions.
Now, let me tell you the story. Last week, I wanted to catch one of the latest movies for the third time. Excitedly, when Oliver wasn’t around, I asked my group of friends if they wanted to join. Unfortunately, Oliver overheard and boldly declared that he’d be tagging along. I didn’t invite him, mind you; he just invited himself. That irked me.
We were coordinating plans on our group chat, and Oliver casually threw in that I should buy his ticket because his internet was down
Image credits: Priscilla Du Preez (not the actual photo)
He promised to pay me in cash at the cinema. I reluctantly agreed but couldn’t resist pointing out the irony of him messaging us when his internet was supposedly on the fritz. Predictably, he didn’t bother responding.
Fast forward to the cinema trip. We grabbed popcorn, found our seats, and, unsurprisingly, the theater was practically empty because it was a weekday and we had a day off. The movie began, and Oliver, who hadn’t seen it before, kept tapping me every few seconds to get my reactions.
Instead of making eye contact or engaging in a conversation, he started whispering about the characters, all while showering me with chewed-up popcorn bits
Image credits: Felipe Bustillo (not the actual photo)
Not only did it land in my hair and on my face, but it also desecrated my popcorn. My friends noticed my struggle, and we collectively decided to excuse ourselves to the bathroom, leaving Oliver to enjoy the movie solo. He wanted to join us, but we insisted he not miss the movie and promised a swift return.
We covertly relocated to other seats, for the remainder of the film. I shared my friend’s popcorn since mine was rendered inedible
Image credits: Krists Luhaers (not the actual photo)
Exiting the cinema, Oliver found us and unleashed a tirade about being abandoned, proclaiming that we were unwelcome at his future gatherings. I calmly explained that we never left the room and, honestly, none of us were keen on attending his hypothetical parties.
And, as anticipated, he never coughed up the cash.
Now, I’m starting to ponder if my response to him was a tad too brutal.
Pandas, AITA?
Moderator’s note:
Please note that the images included in this article are for illustrative purposes only and do not represent the actual individuals or items discussed in the story.
If you have a comparable experience or story you’d to tell, we welcome your submissions. Click here to share your story with Bored Panda.
21Kviews
Share on FacebookYTA. Grow up and tell Oliver to his face that he’s not invited. Also, this is Bored Panda. You seem to have mistaken it for Reddit.
Exactly! But do you mean that AITA posts should only be posted on reddit and not on bp? Because in that case I don't agree with you. No hate ofc, I'm not mad or anything! (some people interpret this that way and I would like to avoid any misunderstandings)
Load More Replies...I just read this yesterday and it was the same story about a girl. What is happening
YTA. You and your friends could have taken the energy y'all put forth in the "clever" thing y'all did in the theater into telling him to stop talking with food in his mouth. Show him the bits and pieces of food right then and there; he wouldn't be able to deny it and he'll also see what he's doing. If he continues, then tell him you can't do this anymore and leave. You could have also taken the energy you used to post this online to tell Oliver you're sorry for how you went about things, but you have something that he needs to know. Again, if he doesn't change, then stop hanging out with him. You're not asking him to change his personality, just improve his manners. That's what a true friend would do. You seem irritated, but you are a bad friend looking for the support of complete strangers to treat someone badly instead of growing a pair (of balls or of ovaries) and helping your friend become aware of how gross they are presenting themselves when the talk with food in their mouths.
He's not a friend though, and they're not his mom. I kinda understand. Going to sit somewhere else is a sucky thing to do though.
Load More Replies...Put down your Fedora and don't hang with "friends" you don't like instead talking behind their backs online
YTA for not being honest and learning to say: No. I get it, you don't like Oliver. And that's fine. But then don't give in to 'keep the peace'. That's just disgusting. Stand up, be an adult and say: No. Hey, my internet is down, you should buy my ticket. No, I won't. It's that simple. You don't have to argue. Whatever he throws at you, all you have to say is: "no, I will not." Or: "No, I don't have to do that." And as hard as it is, if he asks why, tell him the truth: I won't buy your ticket because A: you never pay it back and B: you're a liar. If you had no internet, you couldn't even write me. Also C: I do not want you to come with us because you spit on my snacks and ate annoying. But you string him along and enable him, and that's why YTA. You deserve all the misery he brings you, because you xou don't tell him to stop and don't say no although you could. No one forces you to go along. He's not a rapist with a knife or another kind of offender who has power over you. You're just a doormat who can't say no.
I've never explained my boundaries to Oliver and somehow that's his fault for not being able to read my mind. YTA.
It's nice that you are now making your own articles, BP, but this formatting is awful to read
Sounds like Oliver is one of those oblivious nerds who missed the socialization train. Maybe he doesn’t recognize that his behavior is unacceptable, so tell him and be specific. Don’t sound accusing, but ask him, “Do you realize you spit popcorn all over me? That’s not nice.” Or “Are you aware you were [whatever]? I didn’t appreciate that.”
About Oliver's spitting: You might want to ask him if he has a medical issue that causes excess salivation. He may also be on the autism spectrum and not been coached on social skills (My nephew is on the spectrum and his parents did a great job of teaching him how to interact with others). Does he listen if someone says, "I want to focus on the movie; let's talk about it later"? If he often mooches, that's totally on him. Since the cinema was practically empty, he could have gotten a ticket there.
Yta.. so instead of talking to this guy you abandoned him when he thought he was with friends.. I would rather be told I spit when I talk, eat, laugh etc.. then to be ditched when out with "friends"...
You’re a bad person and absolutely YTA. I have a hard time believing you’re over 14 years old. Pretending to be someone’s friend then talking behind their back, doing childish things like ditching them, and not being forthright about your complaints To the person is far worse than just telling him you don’t want to be his friend. Also, if you don’t want him coming, why are you inviting other friends where he can overhear? That sounds deliberate and extra cruel. Go look in the mirror and tell yourself to do better.
And reason you couldn't just grow a pair and ask him to stfu/stop spitting on you? Your reaction was childish AF.
Y'all are petty AF. Don't make plans excluding people WHEN THEY ARE PRESENT. I get it, you don't want certain people to go with so make the plans when they literally can't overhear because they physically aren't at there. Be direct and ask them to stop talking during the movie. If they don't stop, THEN move. You got showered with popcorn and didn't tell them then you and your friends secreted away from "Oliver". YOU switching seats is fine, bringing the entire friend group along and leaving one member solo is not. Since you all seem to be about 15, I'm not surprised you didn't get reimbursed afterwards. I had a frenemy in my friend group in high school and we didn't even treat each other this petty or inconsiderately ffs.
YTA. Grow up and tell Oliver to his face that he’s not invited. Also, this is Bored Panda. You seem to have mistaken it for Reddit.
Exactly! But do you mean that AITA posts should only be posted on reddit and not on bp? Because in that case I don't agree with you. No hate ofc, I'm not mad or anything! (some people interpret this that way and I would like to avoid any misunderstandings)
Load More Replies...I just read this yesterday and it was the same story about a girl. What is happening
YTA. You and your friends could have taken the energy y'all put forth in the "clever" thing y'all did in the theater into telling him to stop talking with food in his mouth. Show him the bits and pieces of food right then and there; he wouldn't be able to deny it and he'll also see what he's doing. If he continues, then tell him you can't do this anymore and leave. You could have also taken the energy you used to post this online to tell Oliver you're sorry for how you went about things, but you have something that he needs to know. Again, if he doesn't change, then stop hanging out with him. You're not asking him to change his personality, just improve his manners. That's what a true friend would do. You seem irritated, but you are a bad friend looking for the support of complete strangers to treat someone badly instead of growing a pair (of balls or of ovaries) and helping your friend become aware of how gross they are presenting themselves when the talk with food in their mouths.
He's not a friend though, and they're not his mom. I kinda understand. Going to sit somewhere else is a sucky thing to do though.
Load More Replies...Put down your Fedora and don't hang with "friends" you don't like instead talking behind their backs online
YTA for not being honest and learning to say: No. I get it, you don't like Oliver. And that's fine. But then don't give in to 'keep the peace'. That's just disgusting. Stand up, be an adult and say: No. Hey, my internet is down, you should buy my ticket. No, I won't. It's that simple. You don't have to argue. Whatever he throws at you, all you have to say is: "no, I will not." Or: "No, I don't have to do that." And as hard as it is, if he asks why, tell him the truth: I won't buy your ticket because A: you never pay it back and B: you're a liar. If you had no internet, you couldn't even write me. Also C: I do not want you to come with us because you spit on my snacks and ate annoying. But you string him along and enable him, and that's why YTA. You deserve all the misery he brings you, because you xou don't tell him to stop and don't say no although you could. No one forces you to go along. He's not a rapist with a knife or another kind of offender who has power over you. You're just a doormat who can't say no.
I've never explained my boundaries to Oliver and somehow that's his fault for not being able to read my mind. YTA.
It's nice that you are now making your own articles, BP, but this formatting is awful to read
Sounds like Oliver is one of those oblivious nerds who missed the socialization train. Maybe he doesn’t recognize that his behavior is unacceptable, so tell him and be specific. Don’t sound accusing, but ask him, “Do you realize you spit popcorn all over me? That’s not nice.” Or “Are you aware you were [whatever]? I didn’t appreciate that.”
About Oliver's spitting: You might want to ask him if he has a medical issue that causes excess salivation. He may also be on the autism spectrum and not been coached on social skills (My nephew is on the spectrum and his parents did a great job of teaching him how to interact with others). Does he listen if someone says, "I want to focus on the movie; let's talk about it later"? If he often mooches, that's totally on him. Since the cinema was practically empty, he could have gotten a ticket there.
Yta.. so instead of talking to this guy you abandoned him when he thought he was with friends.. I would rather be told I spit when I talk, eat, laugh etc.. then to be ditched when out with "friends"...
You’re a bad person and absolutely YTA. I have a hard time believing you’re over 14 years old. Pretending to be someone’s friend then talking behind their back, doing childish things like ditching them, and not being forthright about your complaints To the person is far worse than just telling him you don’t want to be his friend. Also, if you don’t want him coming, why are you inviting other friends where he can overhear? That sounds deliberate and extra cruel. Go look in the mirror and tell yourself to do better.
And reason you couldn't just grow a pair and ask him to stfu/stop spitting on you? Your reaction was childish AF.
Y'all are petty AF. Don't make plans excluding people WHEN THEY ARE PRESENT. I get it, you don't want certain people to go with so make the plans when they literally can't overhear because they physically aren't at there. Be direct and ask them to stop talking during the movie. If they don't stop, THEN move. You got showered with popcorn and didn't tell them then you and your friends secreted away from "Oliver". YOU switching seats is fine, bringing the entire friend group along and leaving one member solo is not. Since you all seem to be about 15, I'm not surprised you didn't get reimbursed afterwards. I had a frenemy in my friend group in high school and we didn't even treat each other this petty or inconsiderately ffs.
-20
26