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Hey Pandas, AITA For Getting Mad At My Brother-In-Law Over Expensive Treats I Bought For My Kids?

In my family, we are quite budget-conscious, especially since my husband lost his job last year due to Covid layoffs. We have two kids, and managing our expenses has been a bit of a struggle. Despite this, we agreed to let my brother-in-law, “Jake” (38), move in with us temporarily after his divorce. He’s always been a bit of a freeloader, but we couldn’t turn him away in his time of need, especially when his marriage to his ex-wife ended so unfortunately. The arrangement was simple: he would contribute to household expenses and buy his own groceries.

Jake has a sweet tooth and a penchant for expensive, gourmet snacks, which are a luxury we can’t afford currently. So, last month, I indulged my kids and bought them a small box of premium chocolate cookies, a rare treat in our home. I stored them in a high cabinet, out of sight but not out of reach for a treat after their upcoming exams.

A week later, I noticed the cookie box was almost empty. Surprised, I asked my husband and kids if they had eaten them, but they all firmly denied it

Image credits: Egor Lyfar (not the actual photo)

I wouldn’t have been mad if they themselves ate it. I had my suspicions about Jake but didn’t want to accuse him without proof.

Then, two days ago, I came home early from work and found Jake on the couch, watching a movie and munching on the last of those chocolate cookies

Hey Pandas, AITA For Getting Mad At My Brother-In-Law Over Expensive Treats I Bought For My Kids?

Image credits: Mollie Sivaram (not the actual photo)

I confronted him, and he just shrugged, saying he thought they were for everyone and didn’t think it was that big of a deal since he also contributed to the groceries with his money

Hey Pandas, AITA For Getting Mad At My Brother-In-Law Over Expensive Treats I Bought For My Kids?

Image credits: Toa Heftiba (not the actual photo)

I was livid, not just because of the sweets, but because this was a repeat pattern of disrespecting our boundaries and taking advantage of our hospitality over the course of the last few months. When I brought this up, Jake became defensive, claiming that I was overreacting over a few chocolates that no one cared about. But for me, it was about the principle and the constant disregard for our struggles and efforts to provide for our family while accommodating him at the same time.

Pandas, AITA?

Moderator’s note:

Please note that the images included in this article are for illustrative purposes only and do not represent the actual individuals or items discussed in the story.

If you have a comparable experience or story you’d to tell, we welcome your submissions. Click here to share your story with Bored Panda.

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This lazy panda forgot to write something about itself.

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Hi there! I'm Gabrielė, but you can also catch me responding to Gab, Gabi, Gabert, or Gabe – take your pick. Professionally, I'm the senior community manager over at Bored Panda, helping people share their awesome work and connecting artists with a worldwide audience. Beyond work, you'll catch me traveling, listening to vinyl and diving into movies, art exhibitions, and concerts. I'm a culture buff at heart, always eager to explore and embrace the richness of the human experience.

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Hey there, Pandas! My name is Diana (though some prefer to refer to me as Diane, Deanna, and even Liana sometimes), and I am a Community Post Moderator Lead for Bored Panda. As my position title states, I am one of the people (employed Pandas for bamboo) over here who work with the community side of things on this website to ensure all is well, and while at that, I also help various creators and artists get recognition for the incredible work they do by connecting them to a large worldwide audience. Other than that, outside of work, you can find me brewing a nice cup of coffee, making a pizza from scratch, or baking brownies. I also love traveling, concerts, and cats (heavy on that, because I am a cat mom).

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What do you think ?

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Trillian 1 year ago

There seems to be more to the story (as hinted) but even like this: At no point in history in no family ever have good cookies, hidden in the high closet, been "for everyone". He knew what he was doing and that makes him the AH.

80points

Tessa 1 year ago

Truth! 👆 he knew it.

18points

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Phoenix 1 year ago

NTA. A few chocolates would have been fine but not almost the whole box! He should apologize and you should set some very clear boundaries.

34points

Ms.GB 1 year ago

And they were clearly hidden, he knew those were a controlled substance!...that what we call the goodies in my home.

21points

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Nice Beast Ludo 1 year ago

If you hid them in a high cabinet where no other snacks or food is hidden, common sense would tell someone to ask if it's ok to eat them. Sounds like you need to renegotiate the way groceries go in this situation. If he "contributes" to the groceries, then he can just buy his own groceries and put a sticky on or have his own shelf in the fridge/cabinet. It sounds like he is contributing but eating more than he contributes since he ate the whole box.

29points

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