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105 Airplane Jokes To Get High on Humor

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Some of us always have our heads in the clouds, literally. Whether it be dreaming about joining the cabin crew, becoming a pilot, or just traveling and exploring new destinations, it’s an altogether different experience, isn’t it?

Sitting in some corner, passing the long transit hours, consuming the umpteenth cup of overpriced coffee, or watching the motley assembly of the airport crowd. Whether you are obsessed with flying or hate it with all your heart and would rather travel in old-fashioned carriages than planes, airplane jokes work for everyone.

Why Airplane Jokes or Plane Puns?

Airplane puns can be either a distraction to make you forget your anxiety (or flight phobia) or a reminder that it has been too long since your last trip, so maybe you should start planning a new one. These plane memes can also help you kill time during an extra-long layover. Humor always saves the day!

However, one word of advice: abstain from telling your jokes to the plane crew, especially if they are morbid. Even if you find your airplane meme very funny, the flight attendant probably won’t be impressed. For one, they have heard it more than they care to remember. And secondly, when you work such a high-pressure job as they do, pilot jokes seem far less funny to them than they might seem to you.

Funniest Airplane Puns to Fly High With Laughter

Here is a punny compilation of airplane jokes. While some are quite plane jokes (pun intended), some might make you fall down your seat. Alright then, ready to take off and land in the jokes? Let’s get to it!

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#1

105 Airplane Jokes To Get High on Humor What’s the difference between an optimist and a pessimist?

An optimist created the airplane; a pessimist created the seatbelts.

18points

#2

A propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane to keep the pilot cool… when it stops, you can actually see the pilot start sweating.

18points

#3

Why did the airplane get sent to his room?

Bad altitude.

14points

Falcon on Dizzy 2 years ago

fun fact: plane attitude is a real thing! I forget what the actual definition is, but I'm pretty sure it means the angle of the plane compared to stable flight

2points

#4

105 Airplane Jokes To Get High on Humor "I don’t find airplane jokes funny. To me, they’re just really Boeing."

14points

#5

"I asked a flight attendant to change my seat because of a crying baby next to me. It turns out you can’t do that if the baby is yours."

12points

Nikolaj Nesbit 1 hour ago

Haha

0points

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#6

A passenger, in panic, asked if the airplane was going the right way. To which Yoda responded, “Off course, we are.”

12points

Philly Bob Squires 2 years ago

Crash you will....

2points

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#7

Two pilots are discussing piloting. One asks, “Why did you become a pilot?” One asks, “Why did you become a pilot?” He responds, “To overcome my fears.” The other asks, “Which one? Heights?” To which he responds, “Dying alone.”

12points

#8

"I tried to sue the airport for losing my luggage. I lost my case."

12points

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#9

105 Airplane Jokes To Get High on Humor "I’m a helicopter instructor. It has its ups and downs."

12points

#10

Everyone knows two wrongs don't make a right, but what do two Wrights make?

An airplane.

12points

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#11

Who invented the first airplane that wouldn’t fly?

The Wrong Brothers.

11points

#12

105 Airplane Jokes To Get High on Humor It was mealtime on an airplane, and the flight attendant asked a passenger if he would like some dinner. “What are my choices?” the passenger asked. “Yes or no,” she replied.

11points

#13

What do you get when you cross an airplane with a magician?

A flying sorcerer.

11points

#14

What do you call an airplane that flies backward?

A receding airline.

10points

#15

What happens to a bad airplane joke?

It never lands.

10points

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#16

105 Airplane Jokes To Get High on Humor Why do Stormtroopers make the best pilots?

They never hit anything.

10points

#17

What do you call the movie where pilots fight to take off?

The Hanger Games.

10points

#18

Why did everyone scream when I held the door open for them?

We were on a plane.

10points

#19

A man parachuted out of an airplane, and his chute did not open. As he headed for almost certain death, he saw a man coming up toward him through the air from the ground. As the man zoomed by, the man headed down asked, “Do you know anything about parachutes?” The man replied in passing, “No, you know anything about gas stoves?”

9points

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#20

105 Airplane Jokes To Get High on Humor Flight Announcement: “Last one off the plane has to clean it.”

9points

#21

How does cupid visit his girlfriend?

On an arrow-plane!

9points

#22

The airline food made me sick on my way to Germany.

It was the wurst.

9points

#23

Did you hear about the young pilot who flew through a rainbow during his pilot’s exam?

He passed with flying colors.

9points

#24

105 Airplane Jokes To Get High on Humor What do we want? Airplane noises. When do we want them? Neeeeeeooooow!

9points

#25

What do you call a plane full of tired pilots?

Jet lag.

9points

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#26

Where does a mountain climber keep his plane?

In a cliff-hangar.

8points

#27

What did the football player say to the flight attendant?

“Put me in coach.”

8points

#28

105 Airplane Jokes To Get High on Humor How often do airplanes crash?

Just once.

8points

#29

A man telephoned an airline office in New York and asked, “How long does it take to fly to Boston?” The clerk said, “Just a minute…” “Thank you,” the man said and hung up.

8points

#30

What did the kamikaze pilot tell his students?

"I’m only going to demonstrate this once, so look closely."

8points

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#31

Why couldn’t the fighter jet pilot communicate with his co-pilot?

He hadn’t broken the sound barrier yet.

8points

#32

105 Airplane Jokes To Get High on Humor Why can’t spiders become pilots?

Because they only know how to tailspin.

8points

#33

What sound did the 777 airplane make when it started bouncing up and down?

Boeing boeing boeing.

8points

The Idaho Potato 2 years ago

Says Boing 74, but it's a 777. Great-Stuf...757889.png

1point

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#34

Flight Announcement: “There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only four ways out of this airplane.”

8points

#35

What’s the deal with airline food?

This is not a joke. I think it’s really plane.

8points

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#36

105 Airplane Jokes To Get High on Humor Airplanes are atheists, but jets are religious. Why?

Because Jetspray.

8points

#37

"As I sat in my airplane seat for the 16-hour flight, I tried to get comfortable. Then I remembered that I was in economy."

8points

#38

The attendant at the Delta Airlines check-in desk said, “Window or Aisle?”
I replied, “Window or you’ll what?”

8points

#39

Which is a pilot's favourite day?

Flyday!

8points

#40

105 Airplane Jokes To Get High on Humor "My brother has a pilot’s license, but he only uses it for private flights. So he placed advertisements all over the plane. Now he flies commercial."

8points

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#41

A backup is always necessary when jumping from a plane. That’s why they call them pairs of chutes!

8points

#42

What’s the difference between a copilot and a jet engine?

The jet engine stops whining when the plane shuts down.

8points

The Idaho Potato 2 years ago

You all should read CFI!, the book. This post sums it up well.

0points

#43

Give a man a plane ticket, he’ll fly for a day. Push a man out of a plane, he’ll fly for the rest of his life.

8points

#44

105 Airplane Jokes To Get High on Humor "My Dad really wanted me to make paper planes with him. Eventually I folded."

8points

#45

"I keep hanging car fresheners in my airplane. It really helps with descent."

8points

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#46

Did you hear about the new TV show about a plane crash?

The pilot was horrible.

8points

#47

It is impossible to play hide and seek in an airport. You’re always hiding in plane sight.

8points

#48

105 Airplane Jokes To Get High on Humor Will invisible airplanes ever be a thing?

I just can’t see them taking off.

7points

#49

A businessman was having a tough time lugging his lumpy, oversized travel bag onto the plane. Helped by a flight attendant, he finally managed to stuff it in the overhead bin. “Do you always carry such heavy luggage?” she sighed. “No more,” the man said. “Next time, I’m riding in the bag, and my partner can buy the ticket!”

7points

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#50

"I decided to leave work an hour early today. The flight attendants started freaking out when I grabbed my parachute, though."

7points

The Idaho Potato 2 years ago

Some of us don't get paid enough.

0points

#51

105 Airplane Jokes To Get High on Humor What do you call it when a giraffe swallows a toy jet?

A “plane in the neck.”

7points

#52

A man walks up to the counter at the airport. “Can I help you?” asks the agent. “I want a roundtrip ticket,” says the man. “Where to?” asks the agent. “Right back to here,” he replies.

7points

#53

"I tried to carry my board game onto the airplane, but security said I couldn’t do it. The risk was too big."

7points

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#54

"I have a really good airplane joke I want to share… but I think it might go over your head."

7points

#55

What do airplane builders say about their job?

“It’s riveting.”

7points

#56

105 Airplane Jokes To Get High on Humor Why is development in airplane engineering so slow?

Everyone is afraid to make a groundbreaking design.

7points

#57

"My son saw an airplane in the sky, and he asked me what it was doing. I said it was running air."

7points

#58

"Yesterday, I saw a police officer wearing a pilot’s uniform. I thought it was a bit odd. Then I realized he was one of those plane clothes cops."

7points

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#59

Have you heard of the TV show about the airplane?

It sorta crashed and burned, but I think it’s because the pilot wasn’t very good.

7points

#60

105 Airplane Jokes To Get High on Humor What do you call a space pilot who lives dangerously?

Han Yolo.

7points

#61

What do you call it when you’re sick of being in the airport?

Terminal illness.

7points

#62

What kind of chocolate do they sell at the airport?

Plane chocolate.

7points

#63

What do you call a flying primate?

A hot air baboon.

7points

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#64

105 Airplane Jokes To Get High on Humor A plane crashed, and every single person died, except two. Why?

Because they were a couple.

7points

#65

Why did the librarian get kicked off the plane?

Because it was overbooked.

7points

#66

An American pilot is flying a small plane across Australia. He crashes into the Outback and is knocked unconscious. When he comes to, he’s in a hospital with a nurse standing over him. Still groggy and pretty much out of it, he asks, “Did you bring me here to die?” And the nurse responds, “Nah, ya got here yesta die.”

7points

#67

What do we want? Low-flying airplanes! When do we want them?

Neeeeeeooooowwwww!

7points

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#68

105 Airplane Jokes To Get High on Humor My friend started a business selling helicopters. It’s really starting to take off.

7points

#69

What do you get if you cross a snake and a plane?

A Boeing Constrictor.

7points

#70

A teacher was arrested on an airplane after his bag was searched. Police found a protractor, a ruler, a calculator, and a book of graph paper. They charged him with possessing implements of math instruction.

7points

#71

"I really wanted to build an airplane, But the idea never really took off."

7points

#72

105 Airplane Jokes To Get High on Humor One airplane to another: “Where should we go on vacation?”

The other airplane: “I dunno. Let’s wing it!”

7points

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“This Breaks My Heart”: People Stunned—And Angry—After Woman Buys Lost Luggage From Airport

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#73

What does a person who dislikes airplane food say when he’s served with chicken steak?

“Let’s hope for the breast!”

7points

#74

What did the pilot say to his passengers after a rough landing?

‘Sorry, but it wasn’t my fault. It was the asphalt.’

7points

#75

Why did the two airplanes start fighting?

Because they weren’t United Airlines.

7points

#76

105 Airplane Jokes To Get High on Humor What did Pikachu say after he went on an airplane?

Pika-flew!

7points

#77

The airport bar lets you take a peek into the future to learn how much a soda can would cost in 2025.

7points

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#78

Sure geology rocks… but aviation is really fly!

7points

#79

9 out of 10 doctors recommend United Airlines.

One was removed.

7points

#80

105 Airplane Jokes To Get High on Humor Why do people take an instant dislike to flight attendants?

To save time later.

6points

#81

Why do flight attendants make great astronauts?

They know how to take up space.

6points

#82

What has a nose and flies, but can’t smell?

An airplane!

6points

#83

What did the Klingon say to the flight attendant?

“Today is a good day to fly.”

6points

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#84

105 Airplane Jokes To Get High on Humor Where are the Great Plains located?

At the great airports.

6points

#85

"I threw my phone from the roof, and it broke. I guess airplane mode wasn’t working."

6points

#86

What do you call the Swiss president’s airplane?

Tobler One.

6points

#87

"Things a pilot can’t say in a job interview: I’m down-to-earth."

6points

#88

105 Airplane Jokes To Get High on Humor What if a dog flew the first airplane?

Well, it just wouldn’t be Wright.

6points

#89

A woman called an airline customer-service desk asking if she could take her dog on board. “Sure,” I said, “as long as you provide your own kennel.” I further explained that the kennel needed to be large enough for the dog to stand up, sit down, turn around, and rollover. This flummoxed the customer: “I’ll never be able to teach him all of that by tomorrow!”

6points

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#90

Why did the students study in the airplane?

Because they wanted higher grades.

6points

#91

Who was the first cat to fly in an airplane?

Kitty-hawk.

6points

#92

105 Airplane Jokes To Get High on Humor What do you call a plane that can’t take off?

An error plane.

6points

#93

What is a fleet of helicopters called?

Hellacopters.

6points

#94

"I’ve never been in a plane before, so I never knew what the deal with airline food was. Does that mean the joke went over my head?"

6points

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#95

An ant falls out of an airplane, how did it die?

Starved to death on the way down.

6points

#96

105 Airplane Jokes To Get High on Humor Chuck Norris put his phone on airplane mode… and flew it.

6points

#97

Why do they have frosted glass on airplane toilet windows?

Who knows — it’s not like anyone’s going to look in at 30,000 feet.

6points

#98

If a plane has a small crack in it, is that called an airline fracture?

6points

#99

What happened when the little boy opened a window on an airplane?

He had his head in the clouds for a moment.

6points

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#100

105 Airplane Jokes To Get High on Humor How can you tell the difference between an optimist and a pessimist?

The optimist invented the airplane while the pessimist created the seat belts.

6points

#101

What is the difference between God and an airline pilot?

God doesn’t think he’s an airline pilot.

5points

#102

"I have this new idea for an airplane, But I don’t think it’s gonna fly."

5points

#103

Where can you find Tom Cruise on a flight?

In Risky Business.

5points

#104

105 Airplane Jokes To Get High on Humor How do rabbits travel?

By hare-oplane!

5points

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Get Ready for Take Off With These Plane Puns

Found any good aviation jokes up there? If you did or have some good plane puns up your sleeve, make sure you land them right with your fellow travelers (the ones you know if you’re doing this in person). If you know any new ones not mentioned in the above collection, share them in the comments with us. Avoid sharing them with the flight attendants so that you can have a safe flight!

Saimonas Lukošius

Saimonas is a list curator at Bored Panda with BA in Multimedia. Saimonas has mainly worked as a freelance graphic designer, illustrator and finds joy in anything related to visual arts.

Saimonas is a list curator at Bored Panda with BA in Multimedia. Saimonas has mainly worked as a freelance graphic designer, illustrator and finds joy in anything related to visual arts.

Marisha Kazaryan

I knew I wanted to be a storyteller ever since I learned to read and write. Fulfilled this dream when I became a content creator and a filmmaker. Also got a degree in English language and literature because grammar is important! Good coffee and good music make everything better. When I’m not telling stories, you’ll find me studying foreign languages (currently, Korean), fangirling over my guinea pig Pepperboy, watching TV shows, and learning to play the drums.

I knew I wanted to be a storyteller ever since I learned to read and write. Fulfilled this dream when I became a content creator and a filmmaker. Also got a degree in English language and literature because grammar is important! Good coffee and good music make everything better. When I’m not telling stories, you’ll find me studying foreign languages (currently, Korean), fangirling over my guinea pig Pepperboy, watching TV shows, and learning to play the drums.

Rutuja Dumbre

Hey, am Rutuja! A storyteller at heart and a writer at Bored Panda. I have a strange love for words, and I mostly survive on coffee which is the driving force behind my writing. I enjoy working on articles that purely entertain our readers. When am not writing or trekking, you can find me staying up late and watching all the matches of Football Club Barcelona!

Hey, am Rutuja! A storyteller at heart and a writer at Bored Panda. I have a strange love for words, and I mostly survive on coffee which is the driving force behind my writing. I enjoy working on articles that purely entertain our readers. When am not writing or trekking, you can find me staying up late and watching all the matches of Football Club Barcelona!

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