Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
Grandparenting can be both very easy and very difficult. On the one hand, you have to make sure your grandkids don’t turn into uncultured brats because of how you spoil them. On the other hand, you don’t have to be as strict as their parents, and that gives you a lot of room for fun.
Very often, advancing in age brings a reassessment of values and life in general, and that’s why grandparents often try to be less restrictive or do things differently, particularly things they think they didn’t do quite correctly with their own children. This is exactly why when you receive a word of advice from your grandma and grandpa, with a couple of rare exceptions, you will find it much more progressive than you actually expected.
And although the internet is full of meaningful grandparents quotes, we sincerely think that what it needs is more cool grandparents’ advice. For this article, we collected advice from grandparents that people have found useful, valuable, or just simply funny. Scroll down for some grandparent wisdom you could apply to your life as well. What was the best piece of advice you got from your grandparents? Share it with us in the comments.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
"'A cigarette's got fire on one end and a fool on the other." - my grandpa when I was like 12."
RELATED:
#2
"My grandma once chastised me for wearing underwear to bed because I need to 'let my taco air out'"
#3
"Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes. So don't waste it."
#4
"My grandpa said that a few times, but grandma once bested him by several miles. When my wife and I were trying to conceive she was complaining to my grandma about calendars, ovulation tests, etc. She concluded by saying that getting pregnant was a "pain in the a**."
My dear sweet grandma immediately replied "If it hurts there, you're doing it wrong." The shades of purple I saw on my wife's face that day were truly spectacular."
#5
senatorkneehi said:
"When I excitedly told my grandmother that the boy I liked was going to prom with me, she said "Don't wear anything with zippers. Make him work for it." She was a spectacular woman."
Choralone replied:
"Grandparents can be great for frank advice... after a certain point in life, many people loosen up again and just speak plainly. It's great."
#6
"My gram gave me a diary when I went to college and said "write a lot, it's the only way you will remember what happened in college."
Mildly accurate."
#7
"Sage advice from my grandmother, while organizing her china cabinet and admiring family heirlooms: "As your parents and relatives age, it's a good idea to start giving them gifts that you really want for yourself, because they're going to find their way back to you rather soon. It's what I've always done! Just remember - 'We don't plan to fail, we fail to plan!'"
#9
"My grandmother once told me 'The best way to get over a man is to get under another.'"
#10
"When I was 15, my mom had walked into my boyfriends room (we were at his house and she was coming to pick me up; his mom just sent her to his room). She caught us making out (of course, since it was the first time ever), and she was LIVID. I got a whole talk about how I was only 15 and how I was too young for that. That weekend, I went to my grandma's and told her about it (we were close) and my grandma replied "What's she think you're gonna do with your life, be a nun?"'
#11
"My grandma, whilst once discussing my new boyfriend, was asking why I was only dating one man. Her 87-year-old advice to 23-year-old me was that in her day she would line up multiple dates, with multiple men to try them out, and once you went on enough dates with one person, then you would go steady. That was the norm. I had to nicely explain to my super conservative Irish catholic grandmother that that is what we so kindly refer to as a "player" nowadays.
Her response: 'Well, I guess I was a player then.'"
Trophy Husband 1 year ago
I think most people do this. You're a player if you're dishonest about it (the phrase comes from "you're playing those poor girls.")
#12
"It's always better to let it out than to keep it in," said my Grandma in regards to passing gas and burping (belching in her case)."
#13
"My grandma told me not to date girls from the south in college because they all wanted to get married too young... surprisingly good advice."
Dr_Duty_Howser replied:
"My school's unofficial motto is "a ring by spring or your money back." I feel like I am the only one in South Carolina that doesn't want to be married at 20..."
Feathered Dinosaur 1 year ago
In all honesty I was emotionally still more child than adult at 20
#14
"Always assume anyone who punches you has the will to kill you. Act accordingly and always treat a fight like its for your life. - Grandpa"
SkyBlueandBlack 1 year ago
"If he's going to hit me, he better kill me, because he's not getting in a second hit." -my grandma
#16
"My grandma once told, while very drunk, if you don't have lube on hand melted butter works just fine..."
#17
"When I came out to my grandma, she smiled and told me not to have s** with dudes in restroom stalls. Thanks, Grandma!"
#18
"Don't make yourself too useful."
#19
"When you make good choices in life, you are in a better position to have good results."
#20
"If you meet a man in a bar... that is where he will be throughout your marriage."
#21
"My grandmother always told me, 'It's just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as a poor man.'"
Jeremy James 1 year ago
Nope. I just tried to fall in love with Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk and I've got nothing but revulsion.
#22
"When I was little, I was told to never ever sit on a hardwood/tile/non-carpeted floor because it will ruin your lady bits and you won't be able to make bebbies. I think she meant because it's cold, but I have a degree in biology now and still don't really understand what the hell she was talking about."
Esme Weatherwax 1 year ago
I was told not to sit on cold things because it causes haemorrhoids
#23
"My grandparents gave each of their grandkids money for college. Not a fortune, just a few hundred dollars a year to buy a couple books.
So I'm over my grandparents to get said money and my grandmother leaves the room to get her chequebook.
My grandfather motions me over and says, "Don't make it with any Catholic girls because they don't use birth control." Nevermind the fact that we're Catholic..."
Trophy Husband 1 year ago
How about don't believe the girl is on birth control and just use a condom?
#24
"I was playing with flashlights at my grandfather's and he told me, 'Stop spilling my milk.' He iterated further by saying, 'Batteries are like milk. if you waste all your milk now you won't have any left for cereal later.'"
Whiskey Tango Delicious 1 year ago
Is it bad that my first read through, I thought the "a" was an "e" in flashlights?
#25
"Make sure to marry someone that loves you more than you love them."
#26
"My grandma warned me that boys "make a tent" in bed every morning. Thanks, Gramma."
#27
"Wait until you are pregnant...
Some favourites have been:
Don't lift your arms above your head you will hang the baby with the cord;
Don't lay on your back, or you will die;
Drink milk so you can breastfeed (pretty sure that's not how it works); and
Don't poke your belly button you can poke your babies soft spot in their skull and they will die."
#28
LuLeeJulie said:
"My Aunt Carol never threw food out. Expiration dates had no meaning to her. She always said, "Waste not, want not."'
Cornflower07 replied:
"My grandma is like this. 6 months past it's expiration date? "Oh, those don't mean anything anyway!" Covered in mold? "Just scrape it off!" Already in the trashcan? "Why did you throw that away?" And then she'll pick it up and eat it. I'm shocked she hasn't gotten botulism by now."
Jeremy James 1 year ago
My MIL hoards expired food. BIL just did a raid on her pantry and she was furious, picking stuff out of the garbage. She recently "gifted" us a case of probiotic drinks that expired in 2016 and some jarred olives that probably watched, "Murphy Brown," back when Dan Quayle jokes were relevant. "Umm, thaaanks!"
#29
"My grandma used to tell me that if I didn't moisturize my elbows, boys wouldn't think I was pretty. I still make sure to lotion them down every night before I go to bed so I won't have 'elephant skin.'"
#30
"My grandmother told me and my sister "Eating honey will make you're b**bs bigger" when we were kids. Well, my sister loved honey, and me, not so much. My sister is a C-cup and I am an A-cup. damnit."
#31
"I worked at PetSmart and was helping an old lady lift a heavy bag of cat litter into her car. She asked for a male to help her, but we were a female dominated store and no guys were working that day. She told me she preferred a guy to help, because my uterus could fall out from lifting heavy things."
Jessica SpeLangm 1 year ago
WOW! She doesn't know human anatomy, does she? (The customer, I mean)
#32
"No matter how short a guy is, he can always stand on his wallet."
Trophy Husband 1 year ago
Does this mean money matters more than looks? Technically neither is all that important, but I don't think this is a great lesson.
#34
"'If your bird touches the urinal, it will fall off.' - my grandfather
It took a while to shake the anxiety from peeing."
Trophy Husband 1 year ago
It might not fall off, but there are a lot of serious things that could go wrong from that, so maybe still follow that advice...
#35
"Grandma: "Don't lick the yogurt cover, you'll cut yourself!"
It was a plastic cover."
Shelby Moonheart 1 year ago
My husband's mom told him not to lick can lid (after it was opened with a can opener) or he's cut his tongue. He told me this while licking a can lid. He cut his tongue.
#37
"Chew your milk! I once choked on a grape when I was with my grandparents (thank goodness my mom had just shown up to pick us up, because my grandparents' reaction was literally just FREAKING OUT AND RUNNING AROUND).
Ever since then, I'd been told to chew my milk/water/liquid/everything. I feel like fake-chewing water is more likely to cause choking than just drinking it."
#38
"Turn up the corners of your mouth ― even though it hurts."
#39
"If you want to be happy the rest of your life, marry an ugly woman.
She'll never leave you. And if she does, so what.
He also said 'You can marry more money in five minutes than you can earn in a lifetime.'"
#40
"My husband's grandfather told us to never befriend any couples, because one wife will run off with the other husband and leave the other two sad and lonely. We live with married housemates, I wonder what he thinks about us now..."
#41
"Never tell your girlfriend/wife that she's attractive. One day she'll build up enough confidence to cheat on you with someone better-looking.
My recently divorced grandfather told me this. I don't agree with it whatsoever."
#42
"Never let them see you sweat."
PunnyPanda 1 year ago
Be the swan- glide gracefully on the surface while paddling furiously beneath... Only makes sense for hospitality, customer service and legal matters tho, lol.
