Some people change in some ways. There are things that won't ever change for a person, and those are the points that need to be discussed. Religion is an example point for me. I am not and will never be religious, so the "people change, grow and evolve" would not be a suitable way for my partner to think about that aspect of our lives.

People grow and change, but the take home should be that you should not tolerate something in the hopes they "will change" and eventually come to align with you. My addition to her list is I don't think anyone should get married before they are 25. Your biggest changes occur in your late teens and early 20s and long term compatibility would be better determined at a later age. And it allows you time to determine if you want to get married at all. I have known people that are "serial monogomists" where they go through a different relationship every few years.

If you haven't read it all how can you comment? She isn't saying you must agree on all of these things or even suggesting that people don't change. She is saying that having these discussions will help you see the person for who they are. Very few people genuinely change WHO they are. They might change their habits or behaviours or change their opinions and even their religion, but fundamentally... it is very rare for someone to change who they are. The point is that having these discussions will show you the moral principles of the person you are thinking of marrying.

My thoughts exactly! These conversations don't hurt per se, but it does sound like they're trying to eliminate any and all potential conflict points. That's fine and good until there's a conflict and you don't know how to handle it. Equally as important to discussions on kids, religion, finances etc is knowing whether you can work together to solve problems. My advice: Do something difficult, frustrating, where you will be totally on the edges of your nerves and get in each other's way. Even something "simple" like cooking - the tougher the better, e.g. make pasta from scratch. Put together IKEA furniture. Learn what happens when you're angry and you disagree.

I, for once, agree with you. And I did read the article. All good points, but here's the catch - a relationship is no calculation. People change, and it's good they do, and you both have to see if you can adapt, if you can bring positive changes to each other, or give up. Once a friend said something like, it's not whether you change or not, it's whether this person is worth the effort. Anyway, life happens, you see how you play along (whether or not you are the one to make the rules). Be flexible and be open.

A wise person changes their mind when faced with reason; a virtuous person takes a stand and doesn't change with the wind. -Rev Dr M, retired professor, who has had the same mindset since the age of 16.

yes, like the thing about the king/princess fairytail and how to keep with that idea in mind and you'll be fine? first off, it should be king/queen, since you're on the same level, and tricking yourself into having this idea that keeps you going through tough times doesn't sound healthy to me. there was also something about opposite gender roles i didn't quite understand? and also the fact that not everyone is straight or will marry the opposite gender. there's a few things i disagree with, and that i don't think you need to plan ahead of time. like with the abuse? if you're in a relationship with verbal/physical abuse you shouldn't seek help to end it to stay in the relationship, you should just LEAVE the relationship. although i could've misunderstood that one

If you didn't bother reading it, then bugger off until you do.

Imagine you’re about to get married to someone and you haven’t discussed if you want kids or not though with them.

also sometimes you get more (or less) kids than you may have agreed upfront