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Parents and other family members always want their children to grow up as wise and generally good human beings. Well, if there’s one thing we know about parenthood — raising kids is no easy task. That’s why moms and dads have to get a bit creative to push them in the right direction, and, sometimes, that involves stretching the truth and saying innocent white lies.
Kids will believe pretty much everything they’re told. So a few months ago, user AfterIsIsIsIsIsWas decided to find out what silly things people thought were real when they were younger. When they asked fellow Redditors, "What were the dumbest lies you believed when you were a kid?" thousands of people chimed in.
Bored Panda has selected some of the best answers from this thread to make up a hilariously relatable collection of childhood myths that some people believed a bit too long. Continue reading, upvote the ones you enjoyed most, and share your own stories in the comments!
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#1
Lost my stuffed animal (a white dog) in the airport in Miami when I was 5. It was my favorite and I was really sad about it. A few weeks later my mom presented me with a brown dog that otherwise looked exactly like the white one I’d lost. She said the workers at the airport had found it and mailed it to us, but he got a tan because he was in Florida. Bought it hook line and sinker for a few years. Tan dog is now my son’s and he’s a big fan :)
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#2
As a kid my whole extended family would go camping and my great grandfather would bring a big a*s salt shaker for every kid. When we arrived he would pass them out to each of us and tell us “If you get salt on a squirrel’s tail it throws off the squirrels balance and he can’t climb the trees anymore, that’s how you can catch one and keep it for a pet” cue all of us running around chasing squirrels with salt shakers trying to catch one of the little f*ckers for hours while the adults got to sit around drinking uninterrupted. Never got my pet squirrel.
#3
My older brother pranked me once. I had watched a kids' TV show (I think it was "The Electric Company") that featured a guest star who was a tap dancer.
My brother convinced me that tap dancers made their tapping sounds -- not with their feet -- but with their mouths.
I spent the next several weeks trying to tap dance with my mouth noises before my mom made me quit.
#5
On my 5th birthday, my older sister gave me a pack of gum. It was my first time trying gum, and I swallowed it. I told my sister, and she told me that because I swallowed the gum, I would die in 7 years.
I was so sad. I never told my mom, because I didn't want to make her sad. So I lived the next 7 years of my life awaiting my death.
My mom couldn't understand what my problem was on my 12th birthday. I was just sad. Finally, before bed, I told her how much I loved her and that I hoped she would miss me.
She said "What are you talking about?" I told her that I was going to die before she woke up. My sister got yelled at, and my mom assured me I would not die before the morning.
So yeah, I thought I was dying for 7 years.
Crease Almighty 2 years ago
Yeah my mum told my brother that if he swallowed gum he would die cos it would wrap around your intestines - he was chewing gum in the car one day and we went over a bump - he swallowed his gum and let out an ear splitting scream and mum nearly crashed… she spent 45mins calming him down cos he thought he was gonna die. Why would you tell kids this? *hi therapist.
#7
My mom took me and my little brother Christmas shopping one time when I was four and he was three.
She had to pick up a few items at a department store and we really wanted to hang out in the toys, so she said 'If you're not ready to go when i get back, I'm leaving without you.' Just a common mom warning.
After we played for a while and looked for her for about 10-15 minutes (it was really busy) I assumed she left without us. She said she would, and I believed her. I told my brother she left and we just had to walk home.
It was about 3 miles and so began our little version of 'There And Back Again.'
We were fearless, walking along Highway 66 and collecting all sorts of roadside bits like a wooden soda bottle box, a discarded muffler, an umbrella, an old shoe and various interesting rocks.
About 1/2 mile from our house my Mom found us, cut across three lanes of traffic with the car and stopped us. She ran out of the car crying and half livid.
I thought it was nice of her to come get us since we had misbehaved, but didn't know why she was so upset.
A number of people at the store parking lot and driving on the road had told her of the little kids hiking down the road with their Christmas treasure.
It was 1965.
#8
When I was a kid my dad told me it cost 25 cents to change the radio station to keep me from f*cking with the radio in his car. I believed that until I was 14.
#9
When I was a child, I got upset after a button came off of my shirt. My mother told me not to worry and that if I placed the button under a rock in the yard, the button fairy would replace it with a quarter.
I believed it, and to my mother's dismay, she discovered I had pulled the buttons off of every shirt in my closet. To this day, 40 years later, shirt buttons can still be found under random rocks in my parents' backyard.
#10
Sometimes when we asked for McDonalds my dad would say no but turn in anyway and say the car was doing it by itself. I believed him every time and thought the car was just my homie.
#11
When I was a kid I asked my dad if reading enough books really could give you Telekinesis... (Matilda)
He said yes. I spent many years after that thinking I just wasn't doing enough.
#12
My sister told me that if you count all the stones of Stonehenge you will die. I still don't know how many stones there are in Stonehenge.
#13
I could not understand how all the deaths scenes in war movies seemed so realistic. So, I asked one of my older brothers how they did it. He proceeded to tell me that they empty out state prisons in the area the movie is being made, dress them up and give them guns and tell them that if they survive the filming then they get to leave jail after. I was told that at around 7 and I believed it till I was around 10.
#14
If you swallowed the black watermelon seeds a watermelon would grow in your belly.
#15
My dad told me that the reason why police officers spend so much time at donut shops is because the shop owners actually need them there to shoot the holes in the pastries to provide them with the classic donut shape.
I found out this was a lie when my dad caught me trying to get behind the counter at Dunkin Donuts one time because I “wanted to see the shooting.”
#16
The ice cream van played music to let everyone know he was out of ice cream.
#17
I’m black and my dad is very very light skinned, like to the point where he’s actually pale. When I was probably about 5 or so I asked why he was so much brighter than my mom and he told me a bucket of white paint fell on him one day and that’s how it happened.
He also had me convinced that my older sister went into a hat everyday, so I’d peer into a beanie trying to find her when I wanted to play. She was at school. I was probably like 3 when I thought she was hanging out inside a hat for a few hours everyday.
My kindergarten best friend also convinced me she used to hang out with dinosaurs and rode around on them like a horse. Aaaand another friend in 1st grade convinced me she had short hair because it retracted into her head everyday because of the sun. Those are probably the most absurd lies I can remember but I’m sure there are a million more cause I was a ridiculously gullible kid.
#18
When my sister and I were kids, our mom lied and told us that she was a Grammy nominated and winning singer. She said that all of the trophies were in our attic, knowing that neither of us would ever go in and check for them. My sister and I bragged to all of our friends about it for years, only to discover that our mom isn't a very good singer at all... We've held this lie over her head for nearly 20 years now, so this past Christmas, we gifted her with a fake Grammy that has her name engraved and her favorite music category citing her as the winner of it. She laughed until she cried
#19
I was told by my dad, when I was around 8-9, that 'The people at the sewerage plant have been examining your poop, and need you to eat more fiber'.
#20
I was 7 years old. One of my teachers wanted us to write a letter to a family member or friend or someone. I wrote the letter. Got the envelope. Got the stamp. My mom had worked at the county jail at the time and she suggested I write one of the inmates who never got mail. So I did. I wrote something along the lines of "I'm sorry you're arrested but I hope you get out." I even signed it with my 7 year old signature.
While I was writing the letter my mom had left to get to the store. I asked my older brother what our address was because I needed to put a return address. He said:
1600 Pennsylvania Ave Washington DC 20500. For those that dont know, that's the address to The White House.
I wrote it on the letter and put it with the mail my mom was sending out. Mind you, I grew up in Michigan and never left the state but I wasn't smart.
Years later I went to pick my mom up from work and one of the CO's called me Mr. President and I asked why he said that. He mentioned the letter I wrote years prior and how it was a joke in the jail any time my mom mentioned me.
Foxxy (The Original) 2 years ago
Probably a good idea to put a different address on it anyway.
#21
That Leprechauns were real. I spent many hours and several iterations, designing traps to try and catch one. Because if you caught one, you would get his pot of gold. A few times I tried, I got a piece of gold, and thats what kept the magic going. Turns out my dad was painting rocks with gold paint and sneaking them into my traps at night. It is actually a really sweet memory as a kid, but it fell apart when I started asking other kids, how their traps were going, and no one knew what I was talking about.
#22
You know how Barbie feet are on tippy toes so they are shaped to fit into a high heel shoe? Well when I was a kid, I thought that when girls grew up into women that their feet would be shaped like that. Despite the fact that I lived in a house with 4 grown women, none of whom had Barbie feet.
Cyndi Hafele 2 years ago
Once upon a time there were bras that made women's breasts look pointy. I thought women's breasts actually looked like that.
#23
Eating too much sugar will glue my a*s cheeks together.
thanks mom
#24
My mother once said to me when I was about 2 years old “you have a little Indian in you” by which she meant, I have some Native American ancestry. Well my a*s had just seen The Indian in the Cupboard so I thought there was literally a tiny man that lived in my body.
DUN DUN (she/her) 2 years ago
Just like the tiny man who licks all the plates inside the dishwasher to clean them
#25
Well… My grandpa and i went to forest when i was around 12years old and one of my cousin came with us too. He was 16 that time and told me that a creature lives in the woods which has male and female genital organs, when it is night time it gets out and f*cks whatever living thing he grabs. Ofc i didn’t believe my cousin i am not that dumb but when my grandpa seconds him i cried like a little baby to go home. RIP Grandpa you crazy old f*ck.
#26
As a kid I had a strangulated hernia, which left me with one testicle. My dad told me if I ever had kids they would be all boys or all girls cos each testicle is for each sex. Believed it for years.
#27
That the hazard button in a car would blow the car up.
DUN DUN (she/her) 2 years ago
Blow up the car? Pssht....It springs out the driver seat, you doofus!
#28
The button on your armrest on airplanes is the eject button.
I found out it reclines your seat embarrassingly late.
troufaki13 2 years ago
Why do all parents say the same lies? Are they given the same manual when they leave the maternity hospital or something?
#30
That our entire house was covered by cork-sized security cameras and that my parents could see my every move.
What do you think ?
Miss_H84 2 years ago
I wrote this on another website that asked a similar question... When I was a kid (in the 90s) my friends sister told us that if we ate dill and other herbs we would turn into My Little Ponies. Their family grew herbs etc in their garden so we ate them so we could become MLPs. Different type of herbs would turn you into a different type of pony like a unicorn, a flying pony etc. Years later when I told my dad about it, he laughed and said it's a good thing she didn't tell us to eat nettles.
Lingon 2 years ago
Nettles are tasty and healthy, I'm looking forward to spring when I can make nettle soup.
Load More Replies...
LynzCatastrophe 2 years ago
I became the lie. As a female, I've always been unusually tall, always stood out for that. So one year during a family reunion, I think I was either 15 or 16, I was approached by one of my dad's cousins, and said her two young sons wanted to know how I got so tall. She asked me if I wouldn't mind lying to them and saying I got tall by eating all fruits and vegetables and drinking plenty of water. I saw no harm in this and the lie spread for years like wildfire. I'm tall from my mom's side of the family and my eating habits leave much to be desired.
Kate Jones 2 years ago
My brother told me that egg nog was made from people's spit. Even though I know it's not true, there's a part of me that still has a hard time drinking it because of that mental image of people in a factory standing over a vat and spitting into it to make it thick.
Summer Mason 2 years ago
I assumed all eggnog had acholal in it because only the grown ups drank it.
Load More Replies... Miss_H84 2 years ago
I wrote this on another website that asked a similar question... When I was a kid (in the 90s) my friends sister told us that if we ate dill and other herbs we would turn into My Little Ponies. Their family grew herbs etc in their garden so we ate them so we could become MLPs. Different type of herbs would turn you into a different type of pony like a unicorn, a flying pony etc. Years later when I told my dad about it, he laughed and said it's a good thing she didn't tell us to eat nettles.
Lingon 2 years ago
Nettles are tasty and healthy, I'm looking forward to spring when I can make nettle soup.
Load More Replies... LynzCatastrophe 2 years ago
I became the lie. As a female, I've always been unusually tall, always stood out for that. So one year during a family reunion, I think I was either 15 or 16, I was approached by one of my dad's cousins, and said her two young sons wanted to know how I got so tall. She asked me if I wouldn't mind lying to them and saying I got tall by eating all fruits and vegetables and drinking plenty of water. I saw no harm in this and the lie spread for years like wildfire. I'm tall from my mom's side of the family and my eating habits leave much to be desired.
Kate Jones 2 years ago
My brother told me that egg nog was made from people's spit. Even though I know it's not true, there's a part of me that still has a hard time drinking it because of that mental image of people in a factory standing over a vat and spitting into it to make it thick.
Summer Mason 2 years ago
I assumed all eggnog had acholal in it because only the grown ups drank it.
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