40 Adult Problems Nobody Prepared You For

Same. It's actually one of the 'issues' that I'm working through with my therapist. I hope he has some panacea that softens the blow but I imagine it will just be a case of developing coping strategies. To say that it's something that we all have to handle, there isn't much talk about it is there? Hope you find a way to get some peace. You are not alone.

I lost my Dad to Alzheimer's. When he was confused on day, more than usual, He actually tried to strangle me. He would have succeeded if my ex and a nurse weren't there. 30 seconds later he realized what he had done. He was incredibly distraught. That hurt me more than the physical act.He kept asking my ex if I was ok.I was finally able to talk to him, and all we could do was cry together. I was with both of my parents when they passed. It is so hard, and I still cry for them. Just remember, when it happens, there is no wrong way to grieve. Enjoy the time you have with them now.

Try and enjoy time with them as much as you can before it's too late. Lost my dad to lung cancer this summer : so many things I wish I had time to do/share with him....

I lost my dad to cancer at 23 yrs old, while 7.5 months pregnant and on bedrest for 23 hours a day. It was a very difficult time for me and I was so angry with myself for not being able to do more. I was extremely hard on myself and it took me a couple years of therapy to be able to come to terms with it not being my fault that I couldn't do more.

Don't. You can't stop it, it will happen. Instead cherish every day you have with them, phone them more often, just because. If you do that now you won't beat yourself up when the worst happens. Lost my dad 12 years ago this year and even though I knew it was coming it was still a blow. I didn't know how to handle it, behaved like an arsehole and bottled it up. Went out for a friend's 40th and his dad had just died and he hadn't spoken to anyone. In the next 3 month's I discovered 4 other friends had lost their dad that year. No one had spoken to anyone. Talking to them helped so much, just hearing you weren't the only one.

As somene who already lost both parents and actually got to properly tell them that i love them and thank them for everything , nothing prepares you for how you feel the first year......... Even tough i was already an adult with kids of my own , still felt like i was a little kid going out into the cruel world alone for the first time.......But believe me......It does get easier after that.

Starting to face this myself and returned to therapy just recently to hopefully gain some coping skills. :/

And here I feel that way about my cats and not about my own mother (before I get hate comments: she did ditch me at 18 yo and expects me to welcome her back with open arms at 30 when she notices no one around her would take care of her)

I agree with you 100% on this. I know we shouldn't dwell on it, but we do. Death is a part of life, but it's still not something we are ever ready for. We just have to enjoy the time we have left with those who mean the most to us.

i feel u

It's no fun at all. And you get through it, just like you've gotten through other things in your life.

Don't cry before it happens you will have time enough later.. Except do things together and have regular contact. I hate the phrase but "make memories"! I whish I did more with my dad although we did a lot is seems never enough after he passed..

Same

Especially if you don't have any friends nor partner. When my parents pass, half of the people I love the most and who care about me (the other half would be my siblings) will be gone. It's one of those things that are there, in the back of your mind; you force yourself not to think about it but when you do...man, it's a lot to take in.

Me too

That means you have great memories with hour parents. Something to appreciate. Be glad with IT.

I had to face this fear while six months pregnant. It is not a memory I cherish but it is in an ironic way. You'll either become stronger and wise or it will break you into a person you don't know. Prepare because that day is inevitable.

you are certainly not the only one, believe me

Hugs.

I'm only 33 and both of my parents have already passed. Please enjoy the time with them while they are alive. Hug them, kiss them, tell them you love them. Do NOT ever take them for granted.

Im too busy taking care of them.

Been there, done that. Not fun.

A rocket propelled hammer... Describes what my daddy's death did to me exactly. Him in his 80s, me in my 40s, thought I'd be ok but I'm still shattered a decade later. I'll never stop missing him.

But how fast would the crackhead spend it is more of what OP is getting at I assume.

Yeah but what if you hate cleaning and going to the gym?

Exactly! And ffs don't make the same mistake I did and listen to your partner tell you it's be worse to be alone than maintain the status quo. Especially when that status quo is an abusive, manipulative ar$e.

I love this, "once you hate doing something, stop." You can change your life in a day! It's really possible.

Sounds nice... in theory... in practice is a load of crap. Do I Like to excersise 6 times a week? ABSOLUTELY NOT. Do I HAVE TO? YES! I will NEVER be fat again!

Girl I hate myself, how do I get my life together lmao

I hate regimented workouts, but if you think tramping through the woods with thirty pounds of camera gear strapped on your back isn't exercise, you've never done it. ;-)

I love going to the gym but absolutely hate cleaning

yeah, routine helps also a fun spin on things like chores. Music is like a thing I do with clean up.

EXACTLY. If its not enoyable, then for me theres not really a point to still doing it.

I hate cleaning, should I stop?

Lol well good for you

If you have kids and a job outside the home there is no such thing as just stop.

I agree. I'm 56. Never really liked the gym. Love yard work, gardening, washing and detailing the car. Sweeping, so easy and therapeutic. How many times a day do you get to start and finish something successfully? Plus you get to wave friendly to the neighbors and garbage collectors and help keep drainage clear of debris. When I was a kid in the 70's, I don't think we had many gyms. "Ladies Salons" but not a lot of gyms. Golds was around ... a lot of folks got their exercise doing yard work etc. made the neighbors more connected too... any mom or dad could chew you out for being dumb.. no biggie. Was kinda cool... nowadays everyone walks around with EarPods and hardly nods... weird

Trust me... the alternative to maintaining your health IS worse. It's MUCH worse.

One more time for the people in the back!

You must have less than 35yo

"Work smart, not harder" is my motto these days. Mixing things up while getting everything accomplished is a good idea.

Some people don't grow up, they just grow older.

Wait til you go to work and find the exact same cliques you saw in high school, along with the same emotionally immature behavior—-from management.

Agreed... Teens seem more mature this generation than people my age.

For me, University was the best experience. I was able to be friends with people I never would have been friends with in high school, I was able to come out and feel accepted, I was more comfortable being myself than at any other point. Then I entered the work force. It was basically high school all over again.

Bowling for soup had a song called high-school never ends I play it for my kids to explain this concept (have to explain a few of the reffrances due to the age of the song

We never leave high school. Adults, as a group, are still only 15

Sad but true ☝️

It stays even in Academics

It mostly goes away.