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Truth time, Pandas: being an adult is super difficult. I know, I know, this isn’t anything stellar or groundbreaking, but it’s the truth. Frankly, schools and universities ought to have courses on how to be an adult. I for one would have gone to every single seminar because there were tons of things I had no idea about: from how to correctly pay taxes to how looking for a job actually works and beyond.
It’s stressful, it’s overwhelming, and it might make you want to hide away from all of life’s responsibilities (at least for a little while). What do you mean, I have to cook, exercise, work, study, maintain my social life, and aim for my dreams at the same time?! Isn’t that a tad too much for a single person to handle? And that doesn't even cover the emotional challenges that come with dealing with true loss as we grow older.
Redditors have been discussing the adult problems they weren’t prepared for in a viral thread and we’ve collected some of the best comments. Have a read through them below and let us know which ones you agree with, Pandas. I know that I’ve run into most (if not all) of these problems when I made the jump from ‘teenager’ to ‘clueless young adult.’ Odds are, so have you.
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#1
Going from having tons of friends to really having no one.
Lyone Fein 3 years ago
Most of us only have one or two people in our lives deserving of the title friend.
RELATED:
#2
How f**king dark life actually is. Like, is this all we do, just grind away at jobs we try to care about, but no one else cares about, barely able to afford our bills/houses/debts, constantly struggling with relationships and trauma and watching our political system fail us, our country fail us, our systems fail us, like... this life is not what happy, adolescent me dreamed it would be. Sorry to get real dark on y’all.
NsG 3 years ago
Adding to the darkness - the helpless feeling that the political system keeps failing and there is *nothing you can do about it*. Go and vote, - it's important but if you're like me and in a 100+ year Tory safe seat, all you're really doing is shouting into the void. (I'm not kidding, the constituency I live in has been Tory since it was formed in about 1898, and only briefly dipped below 50% of the votes - the rest were split, so the Tory still got the majority - once just after WWII)
The biggest luxuries that adults have are, hands down, time and energy. Without either one of them, you’re likely to get stuck in a monotonous routine of food-work-TV, seemingly, without a way out. And that… that can be demotivating. However, there are ways around this conundrum.
Certified career coach Rita Friedman told Bored Panda that the very first thing that we should think about is what we would use the extra time and energy for if we had it. That’s the first step! Without knowing exactly what your priorities in life are (family, hobbies, health, whatever else you might be interested in), you might not spend your extra time well even if you had it.
#4
How often you have to clean to maintain a clean house.
#6
Cliques and bullies are just as bad in the office as they were in school.
Karl Baxter 3 years ago
Yep - school is work in miniature. Every office environment has the weird kid, the smelly kid, the tell-tale, the bully, etc. As Roy Harper once said “Grown-ups are just silly children”
The Covid-19 pandemic brought about a significant change in the way that people work. Specifically, plenty of people were asked to work from home if possible. While many folks have returned to the offices as the coronavirus vaccines have been rolled out, plenty of employees still work from home, either full-time or part-time. Though some companies are very wary of allowing their employees to work from home for a variety of reasons.
One of the main disadvantages of working from the office, according to many employees, is the fact that they waste a lot of time and energy commuting to and from work. Time that could be spent with one’s family or, heck, even getting more sleep.
#7
Dealing with untreated childhood trauma.
Alexia 3 years ago
This needs to be higher. You need time to realize that childhood trauma affects your adult life in unexpected ways. You still react in the "freeze-or-fight-or-flight" mode that helped you when the trauma happened. And what you thought was "forgetting and overcoming" was actually "temporary burrying it under the carpet".
#8
Losing people. Loved ones passing away is the hardest. Then there’s the nasty breakdown of personal relationships, family relationships and friendships. Then there’s the sad drifting apart that happens when life takes you on a different path to a person you were once really close to.
Sagtiya Sieelan 3 years ago
This is really true. It's so sad to see my parents, uncles & aunts growing old and frail & become sickly. My school friends who were close to me are all now so far away busy with their new life. Some even passed away due to sickness or accidents. Ooooh:-(
#9
Deciding what to eat for 3 meals a day 7 days a week
According to career coach Rita, we should ask ourselves if there’s some way that we could accomplish at least some of our goals on our commute. For instance, if we think that we never have enough time to read, we could try reading a book while on the bus or train. “Or could you shuffle some other responsibility to your commute to free up bandwidth during your downtime?” Rita asked.
Unfortunately, you can’t exactly do a lot of the things you’d like during your commute. For instance, you really shouldn’t be doing anything else if you’re behind the wheel of your car. Or if you’ve got a penchant for art, it’s not like you can show off your water-coloring skills on the underground train.
#10
Back hurting just from sleeping wrong
#11
People rely on you. Both your parents and your kids. You become the filling in a responsibility sandwich and the weight of it is crushing at times.
Manny_Flawz 3 years ago
It's nice to be needed, but there is a limit to how much you can deal with.
#12
The snowball effect of poverty. Every major bill or unexpected emergency ($500+) takes you back 6 months to a year. It feels like you're on an escalator made of mud.
That’s why career coach Rita suggests that if combining your commute with your goals and passions simply “doesn’t make sense,” the next “least drastic action” you could do would be to see if you can work remotely. At least some of the time!
“Maybe if you only had to do your commute 60% of the time it would be much more manageable,” Rita said that working remotely even part-time could open up a lot of new possibilities and help manage your time. However, this free time might not be enough for everyone. In that case, you need to seriously consider what’s best for you to live your best life.
#13
Realizing some friends are s***ty and you shouldn't be friends with them anymore
Karl Baxter 3 years ago (edited)
I’ve experienced this. In my teens and 20s I tolerated all manner of people and their habits, ignoring negative traits and behaviour. As I’ve got older I become less tolerant of BS and people quite clearly using me for their own ends. It’s quite liberating to clear these people out of my life. After my old man died I was suddenly aware that life is too short to spend it with poisonous people, they should be consigned to history and chalk it up to experience. Good riddance to bad rubbish.
#14
The ignorance of people in high places. I used to think at a younger age that someone was where they were due to being the best person for that position or the most qualified. Now I see its more about who you know, tenure, false perceptions, and ratios to name a few.
#15
How quickly fruits and vegetable actually go bad when you buy them yourself
MyOpinionHasBeenServed 3 years ago
I've learned to just go grocery shopping more frequently in smaller hauls and shorter trips.
“But if it really comes down to finding a way to end your commute entirely, you might need to transfer, find a new job, or make a move,” she said that in rare cases, you should consider more drastic changes in your life if you want to save more time traveling to and from work.
#16
I lost my wife of 35 years. There is no way to prepare and really no way to describe that loss
Samantha Lomb 3 years ago
My dad died in 2014. My mom never got over it and then got knocked down by cancer and having to care for her mother with dementia. The new grandkids seem to help but it looks so miserable for her and not at all what she planned on her retirement being
#17
Falling in love at an older age but watching life speed by so fast.
Wished I’d met her 30 years ago.
#18
The depression dude, the depression
And the feeling of loneliness, even when you have people around you.
#19
Not being able to leave a job you hate because you might just become homeless without it
#22
The increasing speed of passing years.
Having nieces only makes the problem worse. Their age and the perceived number of years past doesn't align at all for me
#23
Not being able to sleep due to stress. Yet here I lay, exhausted but wide awake.
When I was younger I could sleep anytime, anywhere.
#24
My job is destroying my mental health but I need a job so I can pay my bills.
If I reduce my hours for better work/life balance, I lose my insurance during a global pandemic.
#26
In my mind, my Momma should be about 40. She has always seemed to be so strong but sometimes I want to fall apart when I see her take several attempts to stand up or make excuses about driving on the interstate. She will be 70 soon but to me, she is still young. I don't know what I'll ever do without her.
#28
Pain.
Arthritis is f**king horrible and early onset autoimmune arthritis is worse than just having an ache in one or two joints. I hurt all the time, everywhere, and everyone just assumes you're faking it or you're a pill popper. I am not going to live another 20 years with this pain like my dad did
ZAPanda 3 years ago
google this, latest treatment option: "UToledo scientists have developed an experimental vaccine against rheumatoid arthritis The protein-based vaccine shows significant promise in preventing rheumatoid arthritis and improving bone quality — suggesting long-term benefits following immunization"
lara 3 years ago
I have found that when I cut out ALL sugar in my diet my joint pain in my knees went away. Sugar is an inflammatory and it will cause a lot of your joint pain. It used to be so bad I could not walk across the room, literally. I went on an eating plan that eliminated all sugar, no cookies, candy, ice cream, grapes, corn, I have lost over 26 pounds and the pain in my knees is gone. Totally. My hands are no longer "stiff" and I can climb stairs and go for walks, not to mention chasing that damned horse for the vet.
kennedy1209 3 years ago
This one! Not just the pain though - any disease/disorder that starts to hit us as we age. Knowing we have 40 more years to live with pain, or vertigo, or (pick your own disorder).
Alan Jay Weiner 3 years ago
I have vertigo also. Generally a sign I'm coming down with something. I found a baby dose of Benadryl helps immensely. Doesn't make me tired; does for some people. There's also a series of head movements that dislodge crystals formed in the ear canals; that often helps people. I found if I sit on the couch with my right arm on the back and tilt my head onto my arm, the spinning usually stops. Don't know if that works for other people or just happens to work for me. (For those that don't know, vertigo is different from plain dizziness - dizzy is "just" inability to balance; can't stand or walk straight. Vertigo is when the room is spinning. The first time I had it it was so bad I wanted to die.)
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Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago
I have pelvic arthritis and even sitting for 5-10 mins can cause a great deal of pain in my lower back and butt area. Of course my weight doesn't help and I'm trying to lose it, unfortunately it is not easy when you have so many things going against you.
Steve Barnett 3 years ago
Pain is and will always be subjective. No other person, regardless of what they might say, will ever know your pain. To quote Princess Bride, “Life is pain. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something.”
Judi Sherosky 2 months ago (edited)
Take whatever they give you and no reason to be in pain! If others do not understand then too darn bad!! be weary of immunizations period! They are being praised but when you look into them they are treacherous to your immune system. Arthritis is an auto immune disease.
Gary Geracci 1 year ago
Pain? -My friend of over thirty years now- I never go anywhere without it!
Lisa Samuelson 3 years ago
I have psoriatic arthritis and it sucks!!! My hands hurt all the time and I type for a living!!
Miranda James 3 years ago
Mikhaila Peterson had that and it went away with the carnivore diet, maybe worth a try or looking into if it would get rid of debilitating pain..
#29
Preparing for retirement. Of course everyone knows they will stop working at some point but now that I’m 40, it feels like I really need to get it together. Am I going to continue bad habits that negatively impact my health or will I finally make changes to be healthier later?
My new favorite worry - will I really have enough money to retire AND live comfortably enough to have a good of quality life? 10 years ago this all seemed so far away. Now, it feels like I’m speeding to the next phase of my life.
#30
Adults never actually growing up.
Andy Acceber 3 years ago
In my experience, adults frequently aren't magically any more capable than children. We've just had more life experiences and more practice. The reverse is also frequently true. Children frequently aren't less capable than adults. They just haven't had the same amount of practice.
#31
The lack of clear objectives in life. As a kid, your parents tell you to do x so you can do y. School is about chasing grades and measured accomplishments with clear and distinct steps to success. After school, it’s all [freaking] arbitrary. Yeah, people say work hard so you can make money, but there’s no clear pathways. Everything seems circuitous and having goals barely helps inform how to achieve them. Also, you can work your [freaking] ass off and still be broke.
#32
You have to buy insurance but can never use the insurance or else no one will sell you insurance.
#33
The lack of time for myself. Life is all work, housework, yard work, child care, bills, emails, phone calls...
#34
The amount of family get togethers you don’t want to go to after you get married.
#35
You can work full time and still not have enough money for everything you need. I never worried about that as a kid because I always figured I have a good job (and I do!)
MyOpinionHasBeenServed 3 years ago
I always thought parents who work always had extra money to do anything. Begged my mom to take me to Disneyland because "all the other classmates went". She always said no and I used to think it was because she didn't want to for the sheer sake she didn't like having fun at places with kids. Turns out that was only one of the reasons. I had no clue she couldn't afford to take me. She was very private about the finances. With my kid, I've been very open about the finances so she understands why I say no. It helped prevent begging for sure.
#37
Having a presentable place, and debating myself on why it matters. It always frustrated me when my parents had a guest over and we had to deep clean the whole house. Like if it’s my close friend of 8 years visiting, why do I care what they care about my cleanliness? And yet, every time people are over I find myself cleaning the apartment up for some reason.
#38
Having others rely on you as an emotional ballast. I can barely stay sane myself, let alone carry the weight of someone else's sanity.
#39
Dental costs. Not only is it just expensive it is so much more choice. Unlike say a broken arm where you have to get it fixed a chipped tooth or other minor need is on you even the dentist will be like "up to you man". Then on top of that the insurance for dental is just about the worst thing on the planet, it also seems arbitrary. 900 dollar night guard that doesnt actually fix the problem and will likely still lead to major issues in the future sure no problem insurance paid in full. 2000 on realignment to actually fix the thing causing the grinding issue? No way in hell, you are over 19!
Helen Haley 3 years ago
I hate that dental is considered 'cosmetic'. Because apparently wanting to chew and not be in pain is cosmetic.
#40
The constant obsessive feeling that I'm fast running out of time to have an enjoyable life even though I'm only in my twenties
What do you think ?
kjorn 3 years ago
going older and realise your body isn't strong like when you were younger. i work in my yard yesterday and today all my muscle hurts
Don't Look 3 years ago
I did extensive yard work on Saturday and Sunday. More so on Saterday. Well, I did something to my wrist. My dominant wrist. When I was in my 20s I would just shrug it off. Even sleep it off. That's not happening this time. And it really sucks.
Load More Replies... MyOpinionHasBeenServed 3 years ago
I know I wasn't prepared for understanding how credit worked, and how credit is more than credit cards. No one told me you're rental history is recorded and stashed away somewhere for landlords to dig up, like a permanent record, and can be used against you or benefit you. And how you're financial credit is used for employability and tenancy. It was always told to me that as long as I don't have a criminal record, get through High School all is good.
Deborah Rubin 1 year ago
I ran into some problems with credit. Took me years to fix it. Hard, but it can be done. Just wish a seminar on finances, credit and taxes was mandatory.
Load More Replies...
Cindy M 3 years ago
As depressing as this post is...it made me feel less alone with the issues I personally deal with so that was an unexpected bright spot
Memere 3 years ago
Same here. One thing I've learned in my 69 years is that we are all more alike than we are different.
Load More Replies...
Gelato Cat 3 years ago
I had to stop after the first ten because it was too depressing, guess I'll learn the hard way, still need to enjoy my teenage hood lol
I’m A Black Cat 3 years ago
I had to stop bc I can't believe ppl are really so depressed and miserable. I'm an adult and can't really relate to any of these. Please keep enjoying, adulthood can really be awesome!
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Jo Choto 3 years ago
These are all such real issues and every adult my age is familiar with all of them. But it's important to remember you are not alone. Everyone is going through some version of these struggles, regardless of what it looks like on their social media. And the older you get, I find the better it gets. As you move through your 30s, 40s, 50s, you learn to cope with life and you feel better about yourself. It's going to be ok.
Katie Lutesinger 3 years ago
Nobody ever warned me that when I grew up there would be this much goddamn paperwork! NOBODY.
Memere 3 years ago (edited)
So much of this comes from parents not teaching their children about how life really is. I've had problems with money because my parents never discussed the family finances or taught us how to set up a budget. Finally buckled down & learned the hard way. One thing my mom did tell me though was that all the sports I played & 'minor' injuries I got would come back to haunt me. And boy, was she right! 50 years later, I have issues with my left ankle, knee, & hip from basketball injuries, plus pain in my right shoulder from playing softball. I am very lucky though, I'm almost 70 years old & I'm healthy, not on any prescription meds, and am mostly in my right mind, haha!
Don't Look 3 years ago
The bills. What the hell are they for? Last month I got rid of my car insurance because I no longer need it. That's one bill gone right? Great. Then there's a credit card bill, insurance bills (why are there so many types of insurance????), hobby bills, mortgage, phone bill, groceries.... clothing.... and they never bloody end!
bumble bee 3 years ago
That when you learn to live within your means, which like generations before us, they used to do. Stop caring about what society deems important, and just find your own sense of importance. Everyone thinks they can live the expensive life, with expensive purchases, when that is not the case.
Load More Replies...
Kevin J. Henning 3 years ago
Obviously school can't prepare you for every situation that comes along as an adult. Personally, I'd have been happy if they'd have just taught me how to do my taxes.
lindsayaotter 3 years ago
It is Mental Health month. Remembering their is always someone to talk to mami.org
Jane Zimmerman 3 years ago
I just got around to reading these and all the remarks are 2 weeks old but I'm still going to put in my two cents worth! 73 years old, widowed for 7 years and retired for nearly 9 years doesn't sound like I would be the happiest woman on earth, does it? You can miss someone (and I DO!) and still be happy. May I recommend Dr Wayne Dyer's book, Your Erroneous Zones, as a path toward happiness and out of depression for anyone who is looking for that help. None of the problems mentioned in this collection apply to my life in a way that cause me any distress because I've learned what to do or how to handle them in the years prior. I wish everyone reading this collection the same success.
Franc Esca 3 years ago
The hell is this. You know your life doesnt HAVE to be that way? You don't have to down yourself in toxic family games or go to nonsense family gatherings. I think some people need to be more assertive.
bumble bee 3 years ago
A lot of these people need to just get off social media. You don't need to know about every tragedy going on in the world. You already have your own tragedies to deal with. Taking care of your mental health can be as simple as not knowing what is going on. Live in your life.
Ada Retter 3 years ago
You should take your own advice. Stay off social media.
Load More Replies... 
Monday 3 years ago
We can't exactly live outside the material world though can we? We need a roof over our heads, we need food, we need clothes.
Load More Replies... kjorn 3 years ago
going older and realise your body isn't strong like when you were younger. i work in my yard yesterday and today all my muscle hurts
Don't Look 3 years ago
I did extensive yard work on Saturday and Sunday. More so on Saterday. Well, I did something to my wrist. My dominant wrist. When I was in my 20s I would just shrug it off. Even sleep it off. That's not happening this time. And it really sucks.
Load More Replies... MyOpinionHasBeenServed 3 years ago
I know I wasn't prepared for understanding how credit worked, and how credit is more than credit cards. No one told me you're rental history is recorded and stashed away somewhere for landlords to dig up, like a permanent record, and can be used against you or benefit you. And how you're financial credit is used for employability and tenancy. It was always told to me that as long as I don't have a criminal record, get through High School all is good.
Deborah Rubin 1 year ago
I ran into some problems with credit. Took me years to fix it. Hard, but it can be done. Just wish a seminar on finances, credit and taxes was mandatory.
Load More Replies... Cindy M 3 years ago
As depressing as this post is...it made me feel less alone with the issues I personally deal with so that was an unexpected bright spot
Memere 3 years ago
Same here. One thing I've learned in my 69 years is that we are all more alike than we are different.
Load More Replies... Gelato Cat 3 years ago
I had to stop after the first ten because it was too depressing, guess I'll learn the hard way, still need to enjoy my teenage hood lol
I’m A Black Cat 3 years ago
I had to stop bc I can't believe ppl are really so depressed and miserable. I'm an adult and can't really relate to any of these. Please keep enjoying, adulthood can really be awesome!
Load More Replies... Jo Choto 3 years ago
These are all such real issues and every adult my age is familiar with all of them. But it's important to remember you are not alone. Everyone is going through some version of these struggles, regardless of what it looks like on their social media. And the older you get, I find the better it gets. As you move through your 30s, 40s, 50s, you learn to cope with life and you feel better about yourself. It's going to be ok.
Katie Lutesinger 3 years ago
Nobody ever warned me that when I grew up there would be this much goddamn paperwork! NOBODY.
Memere 3 years ago (edited)
So much of this comes from parents not teaching their children about how life really is. I've had problems with money because my parents never discussed the family finances or taught us how to set up a budget. Finally buckled down & learned the hard way. One thing my mom did tell me though was that all the sports I played & 'minor' injuries I got would come back to haunt me. And boy, was she right! 50 years later, I have issues with my left ankle, knee, & hip from basketball injuries, plus pain in my right shoulder from playing softball. I am very lucky though, I'm almost 70 years old & I'm healthy, not on any prescription meds, and am mostly in my right mind, haha!
Don't Look 3 years ago
The bills. What the hell are they for? Last month I got rid of my car insurance because I no longer need it. That's one bill gone right? Great. Then there's a credit card bill, insurance bills (why are there so many types of insurance????), hobby bills, mortgage, phone bill, groceries.... clothing.... and they never bloody end!
bumble bee 3 years ago
That when you learn to live within your means, which like generations before us, they used to do. Stop caring about what society deems important, and just find your own sense of importance. Everyone thinks they can live the expensive life, with expensive purchases, when that is not the case.
Load More Replies... Kevin J. Henning 3 years ago
Obviously school can't prepare you for every situation that comes along as an adult. Personally, I'd have been happy if they'd have just taught me how to do my taxes.
lindsayaotter 3 years ago
It is Mental Health month. Remembering their is always someone to talk to mami.org
Jane Zimmerman 3 years ago
I just got around to reading these and all the remarks are 2 weeks old but I'm still going to put in my two cents worth! 73 years old, widowed for 7 years and retired for nearly 9 years doesn't sound like I would be the happiest woman on earth, does it? You can miss someone (and I DO!) and still be happy. May I recommend Dr Wayne Dyer's book, Your Erroneous Zones, as a path toward happiness and out of depression for anyone who is looking for that help. None of the problems mentioned in this collection apply to my life in a way that cause me any distress because I've learned what to do or how to handle them in the years prior. I wish everyone reading this collection the same success.
Franc Esca 3 years ago
The hell is this. You know your life doesnt HAVE to be that way? You don't have to down yourself in toxic family games or go to nonsense family gatherings. I think some people need to be more assertive.
bumble bee 3 years ago
A lot of these people need to just get off social media. You don't need to know about every tragedy going on in the world. You already have your own tragedies to deal with. Taking care of your mental health can be as simple as not knowing what is going on. Live in your life.
Ada Retter 3 years ago
You should take your own advice. Stay off social media.
Load More Replies... Monday 3 years ago
We can't exactly live outside the material world though can we? We need a roof over our heads, we need food, we need clothes.
Load More Replies...
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