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Truth time, Pandas: being an adult is super difficult. I know, I know, this isn’t anything stellar or groundbreaking, but it’s the truth. Frankly, schools and universities ought to have courses on how to be an adult. I for one would have gone to every single seminar because there were tons of things I had no idea about: from how to correctly pay taxes to how looking for a job actually works and beyond.

It’s stressful, it’s overwhelming, and it might make you want to hide away from all of life’s responsibilities (at least for a little while). What do you mean, I have to cook, exercise, work, study, maintain my social life, and aim for my dreams at the same time?! Isn’t that a tad too much for a single person to handle? And that doesn't even cover the emotional challenges that come with dealing with true loss as we grow older.

Redditors have been discussing the adult problems they weren’t prepared for in a viral thread and we’ve collected some of the best comments. Have a read through them below and let us know which ones you agree with, Pandas. I know that I’ve run into most (if not all) of these problems when I made the jump from ‘teenager’ to ‘clueless young adult.’ Odds are, so have you.

#1

40 Adult Problems That People Were Not Prepared For Going from having tons of friends to really having no one.

eternalrefuge86 , Tim Bogdanov Report

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Lyone Fein
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Most of us only have one or two people in our lives deserving of the title friend.

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#2

How f**king dark life actually is. Like, is this all we do, just grind away at jobs we try to care about, but no one else cares about, barely able to afford our bills/houses/debts, constantly struggling with relationships and trauma and watching our political system fail us, our country fail us, our systems fail us, like... this life is not what happy, adolescent me dreamed it would be. Sorry to get real dark on y’all.

choadally Report

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NsG
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Adding to the darkness - the helpless feeling that the political system keeps failing and there is *nothing you can do about it*. Go and vote, - it's important but if you're like me and in a 100+ year Tory safe seat, all you're really doing is shouting into the void. (I'm not kidding, the constituency I live in has been Tory since it was formed in about 1898, and only briefly dipped below 50% of the votes - the rest were split, so the Tory still got the majority - once just after WWII)

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#3

How ignorant so many people are. And seemingly pleased with being so

ohiojeepdad Report

The biggest luxuries that adults have are, hands down, time and energy. Without either one of them, you’re likely to get stuck in a monotonous routine of food-work-TV, seemingly, without a way out. And that… that can be demotivating. However, there are ways around this conundrum.

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Certified career coach Rita Friedman told Bored Panda that the very first thing that we should think about is what we would use the extra time and energy for if we had it. That’s the first step! Without knowing exactly what your priorities in life are (family, hobbies, health, whatever else you might be interested in), you might not spend your extra time well even if you had it.

#4

40 Adult Problems That People Were Not Prepared For How often you have to clean to maintain a clean house.

DecadenceXO , CDC Report

#5

40 Adult Problems That People Were Not Prepared For Aging parents

dabocake , Simon Godfrey Report

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NsG
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This one is really hitting home. I'm in denial with my actual parents, but we saw my mum's sisters recently and they both look so frail (only in their early 70s)

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#6

40 Adult Problems That People Were Not Prepared For Cliques and bullies are just as bad in the office as they were in school.

pulpexploder , Alex Kotliarskyi Report

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Karl Baxter
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yep - school is work in miniature. Every office environment has the weird kid, the smelly kid, the tell-tale, the bully, etc. As Roy Harper once said “Grown-ups are just silly children”

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The Covid-19 pandemic brought about a significant change in the way that people work. Specifically, plenty of people were asked to work from home if possible. While many folks have returned to the offices as the coronavirus vaccines have been rolled out, plenty of employees still work from home, either full-time or part-time. Though some companies are very wary of allowing their employees to work from home for a variety of reasons.

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One of the main disadvantages of working from the office, according to many employees, is the fact that they waste a lot of time and energy commuting to and from work. Time that could be spent with one’s family or, heck, even getting more sleep.

#7

40 Adult Problems That People Were Not Prepared For Dealing with untreated childhood trauma.

caelosentire , Kelly Sikkema Report

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Alexia
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This needs to be higher. You need time to realize that childhood trauma affects your adult life in unexpected ways. You still react in the "freeze-or-fight-or-flight" mode that helped you when the trauma happened. And what you thought was "forgetting and overcoming" was actually "temporary burrying it under the carpet".

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#8

40 Adult Problems That People Were Not Prepared For Losing people. Loved ones passing away is the hardest. Then there’s the nasty breakdown of personal relationships, family relationships and friendships. Then there’s the sad drifting apart that happens when life takes you on a different path to a person you were once really close to.

BlackCaaaaat , Rhodi Lopez Report

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Sagtiya Sieelan
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is really true. It's so sad to see my parents, uncles & aunts growing old and frail & become sickly. My school friends who were close to me are all now so far away busy with their new life. Some even passed away due to sickness or accidents. Ooooh:-(

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#9

40 Adult Problems That People Were Not Prepared For Deciding what to eat for 3 meals a day 7 days a week

coltonious Report

According to career coach Rita, we should ask ourselves if there’s some way that we could accomplish at least some of our goals on our commute. For instance, if we think that we never have enough time to read, we could try reading a book while on the bus or train. “Or could you shuffle some other responsibility to your commute to free up bandwidth during your downtime?” Rita asked.

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Unfortunately, you can’t exactly do a lot of the things you’d like during your commute. For instance, you really shouldn’t be doing anything else if you’re behind the wheel of your car. Or if you’ve got a penchant for art, it’s not like you can show off your water-coloring skills on the underground train.

#10

40 Adult Problems That People Were Not Prepared For Back hurting just from sleeping wrong

badninj4 , Sasun Bughdaryan Report

#11

40 Adult Problems That People Were Not Prepared For People rely on you. Both your parents and your kids. You become the filling in a responsibility sandwich and the weight of it is crushing at times.

smolspooderfriend , Nikola Saliba Report

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Manny_Flawz
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's nice to be needed, but there is a limit to how much you can deal with.

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#12

The snowball effect of poverty. Every major bill or unexpected emergency ($500+) takes you back 6 months to a year. It feels like you're on an escalator made of mud.

curiousnaomi Report

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Rider
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And the toll this stress takes on your mental and physical health.

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That’s why career coach Rita suggests that if combining your commute with your goals and passions simply “doesn’t make sense,” the next “least drastic action” you could do would be to see if you can work remotely. At least some of the time!

“Maybe if you only had to do your commute 60% of the time it would be much more manageable,” Rita said that working remotely even part-time could open up a lot of new possibilities and help manage your time. However, this free time might not be enough for everyone. In that case, you need to seriously consider what’s best for you to live your best life.

#13

40 Adult Problems That People Were Not Prepared For Realizing some friends are s***ty and you shouldn't be friends with them anymore

swampy13 , Korney Violin Report

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Karl Baxter
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’ve experienced this. In my teens and 20s I tolerated all manner of people and their habits, ignoring negative traits and behaviour. As I’ve got older I become less tolerant of BS and people quite clearly using me for their own ends. It’s quite liberating to clear these people out of my life. After my old man died I was suddenly aware that life is too short to spend it with poisonous people, they should be consigned to history and chalk it up to experience. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

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#14

The ignorance of people in high places. I used to think at a younger age that someone was where they were due to being the best person for that position or the most qualified. Now I see its more about who you know, tenure, false perceptions, and ratios to name a few.

DiddlyDoRight Report

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#15

40 Adult Problems That People Were Not Prepared For How quickly fruits and vegetable actually go bad when you buy them yourself

sea_ewe_in_tea , Alexandr Podvalny Report

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MyOpinionHasBeenServed
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've learned to just go grocery shopping more frequently in smaller hauls and shorter trips.

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“But if it really comes down to finding a way to end your commute entirely, you might need to transfer, find a new job, or make a move,” she said that in rare cases, you should consider more drastic changes in your life if you want to save more time traveling to and from work.

#16

40 Adult Problems That People Were Not Prepared For I lost my wife of 35 years. There is no way to prepare and really no way to describe that loss

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/gzytb3/comment/ftjt5ti/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3 , Matt Botsford Report

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Samantha Lomb
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My dad died in 2014. My mom never got over it and then got knocked down by cancer and having to care for her mother with dementia. The new grandkids seem to help but it looks so miserable for her and not at all what she planned on her retirement being

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#17

40 Adult Problems That People Were Not Prepared For Falling in love at an older age but watching life speed by so fast.

Wished I’d met her 30 years ago.

NightMgr , Joanna Nix-Walkup Report

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Chiuki
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love the sentiment, but 30 years ago, we were both very different people and frankly not ready for each other. I'm sure I would have messed up our relationship somehow.

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#18

The depression dude, the depression

And the feeling of loneliness, even when you have people around you.

unknown Report

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Alexia
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yep. I've been struggling with depression since childhood - not knowing it was depression. Get therapy, it works. There are some associations and helplines that offer it free of charge - look for them. You are stronger than you think. Stay safe.

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#19

40 Adult Problems That People Were Not Prepared For Not being able to leave a job you hate because you might just become homeless without it

Go_J , Christin Hume Report

#20

40 Adult Problems That People Were Not Prepared For Dealing with your parents acting like children.

rchaw , Georgijevic Report

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Wistiti
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So true! How often I have to tell off my mother, insist she sees a doctor, getting frustrated because she won't listen to reason. And no, she has no mental condition - at least for now.

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#21

40 Adult Problems That People Were Not Prepared For Trying to make friends

Poka_poke , Kimson Doan Report

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Sum Guy
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I really struggle with this one... which makes it even worse because I left one country for another country just recently just before lockdown... so, I've spent more than a year alone working from the apartment

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#22

40 Adult Problems That People Were Not Prepared For The increasing speed of passing years.

Having nieces only makes the problem worse. Their age and the perceived number of years past doesn't align at all for me

QuarantineTitans Report

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Vorknkx
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know this feel - time flies faster and faster. It's like the summer started yesterday... and now it's almost the middle of October, and it's raining outside? How???

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#23

Not being able to sleep due to stress. Yet here I lay, exhausted but wide awake.

When I was younger I could sleep anytime, anywhere.

JonnyWax Report

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#24

40 Adult Problems That People Were Not Prepared For My job is destroying my mental health but I need a job so I can pay my bills.

If I reduce my hours for better work/life balance, I lose my insurance during a global pandemic.

Qjfomentl , Nik Shuliahin Report

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Dave
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This only ever is posted by Americans. This particular issue and I see it all the f*****g time.

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#25

It's entirely possible to lose your job through no fault of your own

Aperture_T Report

#26

40 Adult Problems That People Were Not Prepared For In my mind, my Momma should be about 40. She has always seemed to be so strong but sometimes I want to fall apart when I see her take several attempts to stand up or make excuses about driving on the interstate. She will be 70 soon but to me, she is still young. I don't know what I'll ever do without her.

LG0110 , Eduardo Barrios Report

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Caro Caro
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, watching your parents age and having the problems that come with age. Breaking a hip, Alzheimer's, problems with gardening, walking, making a shopping list. It's tough and heart breaking.

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#27

Just how hard it is to lose weight once you're past your 20's.

DeathSpiral321 Report

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Caro Caro
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Don't get me started or I'll explode. This has been a struggle since before my 20's. It sucks. Losing weight is also a mental thing. If your head isn't ready, your body will not cooperate.

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#28

40 Adult Problems That People Were Not Prepared For Pain.

Arthritis is f**king horrible and early onset autoimmune arthritis is worse than just having an ache in one or two joints. I hurt all the time, everywhere, and everyone just assumes you're faking it or you're a pill popper. I am not going to live another 20 years with this pain like my dad did

porcelina99 , Towfiqu barbhuiya Report

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ZAPanda
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

google this, latest treatment option: "UToledo scientists have developed an experimental vaccine against rheumatoid arthritis The protein-based vaccine shows significant promise in preventing rheumatoid arthritis and improving bone quality — suggesting long-term benefits following immunization"

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#29

40 Adult Problems That People Were Not Prepared For Preparing for retirement. Of course everyone knows they will stop working at some point but now that I’m 40, it feels like I really need to get it together. Am I going to continue bad habits that negatively impact my health or will I finally make changes to be healthier later?

My new favorite worry - will I really have enough money to retire AND live comfortably enough to have a good of quality life? 10 years ago this all seemed so far away. Now, it feels like I’m speeding to the next phase of my life.

LizLemonSpaceman , Diana Parkhouse Report

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#30

40 Adult Problems That People Were Not Prepared For Adults never actually growing up.

unknown , Helena Lopes Report

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Andy Acceber
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In my experience, adults frequently aren't magically any more capable than children. We've just had more life experiences and more practice. The reverse is also frequently true. Children frequently aren't less capable than adults. They just haven't had the same amount of practice.

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#31

The lack of clear objectives in life. As a kid, your parents tell you to do x so you can do y. School is about chasing grades and measured accomplishments with clear and distinct steps to success. After school, it’s all [freaking] arbitrary. Yeah, people say work hard so you can make money, but there’s no clear pathways. Everything seems circuitous and having goals barely helps inform how to achieve them. Also, you can work your [freaking] ass off and still be broke.

jcpearce Report

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Vorknkx
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My personal philosophy is that the "purpose" in life is what you decide it to be. There is no list of objectives or mandatory timetable to guide you - you just live and make the best out of it.

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#32

You have to buy insurance but can never use the insurance or else no one will sell you insurance.

scarlett_o_o Report

#33

40 Adult Problems That People Were Not Prepared For The lack of time for myself. Life is all work, housework, yard work, child care, bills, emails, phone calls...

HawaiianShirtsOR , christopher lemercier Report

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#34

The amount of family get togethers you don’t want to go to after you get married.

bebebaker Report

#35

You can work full time and still not have enough money for everything you need. I never worried about that as a kid because I always figured I have a good job (and I do!)

TheHarperValleyPTA Report

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MyOpinionHasBeenServed
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I always thought parents who work always had extra money to do anything. Begged my mom to take me to Disneyland because "all the other classmates went". She always said no and I used to think it was because she didn't want to for the sheer sake she didn't like having fun at places with kids. Turns out that was only one of the reasons. I had no clue she couldn't afford to take me. She was very private about the finances. With my kid, I've been very open about the finances so she understands why I say no. It helped prevent begging for sure.

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#36

Dealing with people, so stressful

My_reddit101 Report

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Scagsy
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I like to assume that everyone is an ignorant buffoon and if they prove otherwise, that's great.

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#37

Having a presentable place, and debating myself on why it matters. It always frustrated me when my parents had a guest over and we had to deep clean the whole house. Like if it’s my close friend of 8 years visiting, why do I care what they care about my cleanliness? And yet, every time people are over I find myself cleaning the apartment up for some reason.

slothbarns7 Report

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A B C
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Meh, for me it's the other way round: especially since the pandemic, I enjoy having someone come over because it makes me *want* to clean up my appartment. I do that for myself way too rarely.

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#38

40 Adult Problems That People Were Not Prepared For Having others rely on you as an emotional ballast. I can barely stay sane myself, let alone carry the weight of someone else's sanity.

unknown , Brooke Cagle Report

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Kay blue
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm currently supporting two people who are going through tough times and it's really hard. I'm not in good health but they need me so I have to put aside the pain and exhaustion I feel.

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#39

40 Adult Problems That People Were Not Prepared For Dental costs. Not only is it just expensive it is so much more choice. Unlike say a broken arm where you have to get it fixed a chipped tooth or other minor need is on you even the dentist will be like "up to you man". Then on top of that the insurance for dental is just about the worst thing on the planet, it also seems arbitrary. 900 dollar night guard that doesnt actually fix the problem and will likely still lead to major issues in the future sure no problem insurance paid in full. 2000 on realignment to actually fix the thing causing the grinding issue? No way in hell, you are over 19!

unknown , Diana Polekhina Report

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Helen Haley
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hate that dental is considered 'cosmetic'. Because apparently wanting to chew and not be in pain is cosmetic.

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#40

40 Adult Problems That People Were Not Prepared For The constant obsessive feeling that I'm fast running out of time to have an enjoyable life even though I'm only in my twenties

DeathBat92 Report

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dee dee
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You have to make the best out of everything. Enjoy everything you can, to the fullest. Life is short, but if you fill it with the things you loke, with learning, with knowing, it will become full. No matter if you enjoy travelling or just sipping tea on a rainy day - just enjoy the moment. It's not a race, there is no destination, so enjoy the road. Also, be kind. Be the kind of person your dog think you are. Show others the kindness you wish others had shown you.

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#41

40 Adult Problems That People Were Not Prepared For How quickly your knees will age.

unknown Report

#42

The utter soul crushing search for a job

MaxTheSoccerDog Report

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Fred Burrows
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It used to be you would wear out a pair of shoes going from place to place filing out applications and have a job at the end of the week , Now it's all online with the forms to file with your resume and application as if you were at orientation already and then you never hear back from them.

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#43

Dusting.

It never ends.

coagulatedmilk88 Report

#44

The moment you really realize that you’ll be working almost every day for the rest of your life.. not that work is bad, but it’s a very daunting thought

Pyg-Butter Report

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Anna Snorrepot
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

the other side is no park ride either, I retired and am in deep depression because no goal, not needed, no reason to get out of bed in the morning, not seeing people. We both gotta live in the moment and celebrate the little things, I guess.

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#45

40 Adult Problems That People Were Not Prepared For How expensive living is. I worked all through high school, but my only "bill" was the gas I put in my car. 30 hours a week on minimum wage goes a long way on shopping sprees and nail salons when you don't have any other expenses. I developed nasty spending habits, not the "value of a hard-earned dollar" my parents were hoping for.

I'm not in crippling debt or anything, but sometimes having to spend money on groceries or utilities depresses me more than it rationally should.

isweatglitter17 , Sharon McCutcheon Report

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Caro Caro
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have heard young adults / teenagers who can't wait to leave home. Then they find a place and a few months later you meet up again and they look a bit bewildered. Hahaha.

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#46

Being able to not cook the same meal everyday while balancing hundreds of other tasks. I will always admire my mom for how she was able to cook, have a clean house, work 43 hours and help her children do homework all while taking time to work out at the end of everyday.

I could mention other common problems like money management and common tasks that I haven't mastered, but what really hit me like a train was the actual transition of adulthood. Im talking about having to make my own appointments and having to keep tabs on myself instead of handing every single document to my mom. I realized how unorganized I was when I found my birth certificate in the same drawer where i have junk receipts.

IrisNalvo Report

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Caro Caro
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have deep respect for mums who work, do the house, cook healthy meals, still have time for the kids. You women need a friggin medal. My respect to you all !

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#47

Having to have a genuine purpose in life

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#48

40 Adult Problems That People Were Not Prepared For Debt

icantwithlyf Report

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MyOpinionHasBeenServed
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Every couple months it seems I'm shouting at the bank about thieving money out of my account for BS reasons. Sometimes I get charges accredited back, thus proving they didn't need to take that money in the first place.

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#50

The endless teeny tiny implications of adult freedom.

"You have your own medical insurance plan now, you need to pick a primary care physician."

Ok who should I pick?

"Up to you"

But like where should I start, how do i know which doctor to choose?

"Up to you"

How do other people find one?

"They just pick the one they like"

I don't know any of these doctors!

ablondedude Report

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BannedFromABoatShow
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good ole US of A. Pretty much any post about healthcare, especially the most unrealistic, unreasonable ones, USA. And these are never the exception. Literally everyone goes through it. Best country in the world my butt.

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#51

Hangovers.

When I would drink a lot during college I would wake up the next and feel totally fine. Thought maybe I was immune to hangovers, then at some point in my late 20s they started to hit me and hit me hard.

-eDgAR- Report

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Vorknkx
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As you age, your body's ability to handle alcohol declines. And the process is relatively rapid too, so...

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#52

No one telling you to stop procrastinating

grilled-onions- Report

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WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Because as an adult you should know when you're procrastinating. Teach yourself to postpone procrastination.

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#53

Crippling loneliness and romantic rejections. Muh heart is just dead, and now I feel empty inside.

testbotV1 Report

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Lyone Fein
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

One of the most important things is to learn to love yourself. If we always depend on others for love, then we will always be at the mercy of people who do not know us.

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#54

How much freaking money I’d have to spend on toilet paper, and this was a decade BEFORE Covid 19 TP hysteria.

MyJelloJiggles · 1 Report

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Kickin'Wing
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This one I can relate to. I can remember buying hundreds of rolls in high school to spread around my friends yards. I think if I saw a tp'd house near me, I'd help clean up if that meant I got to keep what I collected.

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#55

Being sued

niccia Report

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Prilsy
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or having to sue someone yourself like I had to do with my deranged neighbor who is a lawyer but lost the case - yes I won from a psycho lawyer!

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