Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app
Continue in app Continue in browser

BoredPanda Add post form topAdd Post
Tooltip close

The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here.

Woman Doesn’t See Girl Her Parents Took In As Family, Wants Family Wedding Picture Without Her
195

Woman Doesn’t See Girl Her Parents Took In As Family, Wants Family Wedding Picture Without Her

Woman Doesn’t See Girl Her Parents Took In As Family, Wants Family Wedding Picture Without HerFamily Is Upset Woman Excludes Unofficially Adopted Sister From Her Wedding PhotoFamily Upset As This Woman Refuses To Include Unofficially 'Adopted' Sister In Her Wedding PhotosBride Refuses To Let Teen Adopted Sis In Wedding Photos Because She Doesn’t Consider Her FamilyBride Makes Family Upset By Excluding Her Adoptive Sister From Wedding Group PhotoRelatives Furious Over Bride's Decision To Exclude Unofficially 'Adopted' Sis From Her Wedding PhotoWoman Doesn’t See Girl Her Parents Took In As Family, Wants Family Wedding Picture Without HerWoman Doesn’t See Girl Her Parents Took In As Family, Wants Family Wedding Picture Without HerWoman Doesn’t See Girl Her Parents Took In As Family, Wants Family Wedding Picture Without HerWoman Doesn’t See Girl Her Parents Took In As Family, Wants Family Wedding Picture Without Her
ADVERTISEMENT

May I have your attention, please? Thanks! And now for an incredibly wholesome hack on how to avoid a lot of problems, major and minor, while preparing for your wedding. So, take a pencil and write down: in order to avoid many problems at the wedding, you need… to abandon the practice of family photographs! That’s all, folks!

Don’t believe that everything is that simple? Want some proof? Voila! One, two… do you want more? Okay, then three, four – these are all tell-tale stories, when real wedding drama has ensued over photographs. But seriously, the story we’re about to tell you today, from the user u/Reasonable_Read222, is also to some extent connected with wedding photographs.

The author of the post recently got married, and all her numerous relatives were present at the wedding

Image credits: Matheus Bertelli (not the actual photo)

Among them was a 14 Y.O. named Ally, who is the author’s SIL’s younger sister

ADVERTISEMENT

Image credits: u/Reasonable_Read222

The author’s younger siblings treated Ally as their own sister, but the age gap with the author was pretty big for being more than just friends

Image credits: Juliana Navajas Robb (not the actual photo)

Image credits: u/Reasonable_Read222

So when the time came for the group photo, the bride asked Ally not to be present in it

ADVERTISEMENT

Image credits: Darina Belonoova (not the actual photo)

ADVERTISEMENT

Image credits: u/Reasonable_Read222

The girl was devastated and the bride’s relatives all told her that she behaved rudely here

So, the Original Poster (OP) is now 26 years old and recently got married. According to the author, she has several younger siblings, and another girl who, in the OP’s family, has long been considered something like a sister. This 14 Y.O., named Ally, is the younger sister of Maya, who is married to one of the OP’s brothers.

ADVERTISEMENT

Maya and Michael, that very brother, had been dating since their freshman year at high school, and it so happened that Maya’s younger sister had always been a welcome guest in the author’s family. The girls’ house usually did not have a very friendly atmosphere, so they both, one might say, rested their souls while visiting.

The OP’s younger siblings, since they were closer to Ally in age, got along well with her, and the girl herself, as the author notes, is very smart, polite and pleasant to talk to. But an age gap is always an age gap, so for the original poster, let’s be honest, she was never part of the family. Just a good family friend, but nothing more.

And so, years passed, and the OP, of course, invited Ally to her wedding, but not as a family member, just as an ordinary guest. And when the time came to take a big family photo, the bride’s mom called Ally to join them all, but the author, wanting to have only immediate family members in the photo, was forced to tell her no.

To Ally’s credit, it must be said that she took this completely calmly, although it was clear that she was upset. But the bride’s relatives obviously took this as an insult. Moreover, the OP’s mom later told her that Ally cried when she returned home, saying that the author probably didn’t love her. And the OP obviously didn’t want or expect such a reaction…

ADVERTISEMENT

Image credits: Снежана (not the actual photo)

“To be honest, sometimes it seems to me that people attach some overly sacred meaning to wedding photographs,” says Ivan Strahov, a photographer from Odessa, Ukraine, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment about this situation. “Of course, I’ve photographed a lot of weddings, but I’ve only seen something like this once – and then it all ended in a real scandal, literally ruining the party.”

“In the end, it seems to me, the main thing is emotions and memories, and photographs are nothing more than fuel for these memories. But now, when many years later this bride will look at the photo, she will inevitably remember the ugly situation that she herself largely caused. Of course, a wedding is, first of all, a day for two, and no one should impose themselves on anyone as a relative – but it still seems to me that here one could have behaved a little more diplomatically, smoothing the corners a little,” Ivan presumes.

People’s opinions in the comments to the original post were also divided. Some commenters do believe that the bride’s refusal seemed too harsh, and she really acted inappropriately towards Ally. “You could have gotten your immediate family photos in a much nicer fashion,” one commenter firmly stated.

ADVERTISEMENT

At the same time, many commenters cannot help but admit that the age gap between the OP and Ally is indeed very significant, so she was actually out of the house when Ally became a factor in her relatives’ lives. So the girl is most likely a true relative for the OP’s siblings and parents – but not for herself. “Although your parents are invested in her, she is not your sister, adopted or otherwise,” folks in the comments summarized.

However, the author of the post herself, after reading most of the comments, noted that she treats Ally well in any case, and will try to talk to her to explain the reason for such behavior. It’s quite possible that this is the best way out of this situation. And what do you think, our dear readers?

However, the commenters’ opinions were very divided, and people just urged the author to mend fences with Ally

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
Share on Facebook
Oleg Tarasenko

Oleg Tarasenko

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Read more »

After many years of working as sports journalist and trivia game author and host in Ukraine I joined Bored Panda as a content creator. I do love writing stories and I sincerely believe - there's no dull plots at all. Like a great Italian composer Joaquino Rossini once told: "Give me a police protocol - and I'll make an opera out of it!"

Read less »
Oleg Tarasenko

Oleg Tarasenko

Writer, BoredPanda staff

After many years of working as sports journalist and trivia game author and host in Ukraine I joined Bored Panda as a content creator. I do love writing stories and I sincerely believe - there's no dull plots at all. Like a great Italian composer Joaquino Rossini once told: "Give me a police protocol - and I'll make an opera out of it!"

Monika Pašukonytė

Monika Pašukonytė

Author, BoredPanda staff

Read more »

I am a visual editor here. In my free time I enjoy the vibrant worlds of art galleries, exhibitions, and soulful concerts. Yet, amidst life's hustle and bustle, I find solace in nature's embrace, cherishing tranquil moments with beloved friends. Deep within, I hold a dream close - to embark on a global journey in an RV, accompanied by my faithful canine companion. Together, we'll wander through diverse cultures, weaving precious memories under the starry night sky, fulfilling the wanderlust that stirs my soul.

Read less »

Monika Pašukonytė

Monika Pašukonytė

Author, BoredPanda staff

I am a visual editor here. In my free time I enjoy the vibrant worlds of art galleries, exhibitions, and soulful concerts. Yet, amidst life's hustle and bustle, I find solace in nature's embrace, cherishing tranquil moments with beloved friends. Deep within, I hold a dream close - to embark on a global journey in an RV, accompanied by my faithful canine companion. Together, we'll wander through diverse cultures, weaving precious memories under the starry night sky, fulfilling the wanderlust that stirs my soul.

What do you think ?
Add photo comments
POST
Sonja
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How funny that OP sees how wrong she is by reading the comments of the people who agree with her. Sometimes hearing or reading your own ridiculous arguments from another person helps to see that just because you're technically right, you're still incredibly heartless and unnecessary cruel. Of course it was her wedding, but the only argument she made was that she felt the girl was 'forced onto' her family. That was absolutely ridiculous. I'm glad she realised how heartless it was to reject the freely and trustfully offered love of a girl that had so much reason not to be so loving and trustful. The girl slipping into the life of her family was proof of the kindness and generosity of her relatives. Her presence wasn't negative, it was the result of a measureless kind gesture, and she shat all over that by rejecting her for what exactly? As if love was a limited ressource and it would have hurt OP to show the girl kindness.

InfiniteZeek
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I respect that she seems like the kind of person to grow, learn, and be better.

Load More Replies...
Joey Jo Jo Shabadoo
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It was an A move to exclude a teen in a family picture. Was the OP worried that 20 years from now she'd look back at the picture and forget who her blood relatives were in the shot? Of course not, she just wanted to take some control over the situation at the cost of a kid who is not to blame.

Hphizzle
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Am I missing something or can you take a few photos of the family with her and a few without? Same with the nieces/nephews/in-laws? Unless I’m mistaken, this isn’t 1923, and digital cameras can handle taking a lot of pictures, so you can do different combinations of ‘family’ photos. One of those could have made a great Christmas gift for Alley.

Load More Comments
Sonja
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How funny that OP sees how wrong she is by reading the comments of the people who agree with her. Sometimes hearing or reading your own ridiculous arguments from another person helps to see that just because you're technically right, you're still incredibly heartless and unnecessary cruel. Of course it was her wedding, but the only argument she made was that she felt the girl was 'forced onto' her family. That was absolutely ridiculous. I'm glad she realised how heartless it was to reject the freely and trustfully offered love of a girl that had so much reason not to be so loving and trustful. The girl slipping into the life of her family was proof of the kindness and generosity of her relatives. Her presence wasn't negative, it was the result of a measureless kind gesture, and she shat all over that by rejecting her for what exactly? As if love was a limited ressource and it would have hurt OP to show the girl kindness.

InfiniteZeek
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I respect that she seems like the kind of person to grow, learn, and be better.

Load More Replies...
Joey Jo Jo Shabadoo
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It was an A move to exclude a teen in a family picture. Was the OP worried that 20 years from now she'd look back at the picture and forget who her blood relatives were in the shot? Of course not, she just wanted to take some control over the situation at the cost of a kid who is not to blame.

Hphizzle
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Am I missing something or can you take a few photos of the family with her and a few without? Same with the nieces/nephews/in-laws? Unless I’m mistaken, this isn’t 1923, and digital cameras can handle taking a lot of pictures, so you can do different combinations of ‘family’ photos. One of those could have made a great Christmas gift for Alley.

Load More Comments
You May Like
Related on Bored Panda
Related on Bored Panda
Trending on Bored Panda
Also on Bored Panda