Authoritarian parenting places high expectations on children with little responsiveness. It focuses more on obedience, discipline, and control rather than nurturing the child.
And while this approach might raise responsible, goal-driven people, it also tends to damage their self-esteem, create problems with accepting failure, and leave them with a lack of social abilities.
Interested in how such moms and dads manage their households, Redditor u/Elveyon asked platform users to share the most ridiculous rule they had to live by. And many delivered.
Continue scrolling to check them out and don't miss the talk we had with broadcaster, lifestyle blogger, and parenting expert who runs the website Honest Mum, Vicki Broadbent — you'll find it in-between the entries.
This post may include affiliate links.
I was grounded from the time I was 8 until I moved out. My stepmom would always find another reason to extend it, no matter how small, even just my bookcase being messy, and at some point it just became normal that I wasn't allowed to do anything and my dad didn't bother to fight it. And grounding for me didn't just mean I couldn't play video games, it was everything. I had no access to any kind of tech (she took away my alarm clock when she found out I was using the radio on it), I couldn't go outside, I couldn't watch TV, I couldn't be up past 8 (yes, even in summer when I was 17), I couldn't leave my room without a good reason, I wasn't even allowed to be in my sister's room or talk to her at all.
I lost my real mom at 5, and my stepmom came into the picture within the year. I was still nowhere near recovering, and felt like she was trying to replace my mom, so of course I wouldn't call her "Mom" or anything like that. She and my father married when I was 7 without asking me or my sister (3 at the time). My little sister was only 1 when my mom died, and didn't feel bad letting our stepmom be "mom". She didn't even know anything else. She loved my sister and hated me, and I started doing worse and worse in school, giving my stepmom reason enough in my dad's eyes to keep me grounded that whole school year. It just never stopped after that.
When I was 9 she found a cover to a porn DVD I'd found in the trash and beat me with the buckle end of a belt. My grandparents (mom's side) got pictures of the bruises, but were too afraid my dad would move me across the country to do anything. It was enough that she was never physical again, but she just started making me write sentences after that. It started out *"I will not lie"* 100 times, but that didn't keep me busy long enough, so she kept adding to it every time I did something she didn't like. The worst was when I was 14, and I ate some stevia packets from on top of the fridge, and told her I didn't know where the empty packets came from out of fear. *"I will not lie, I will not steal. God hates a thief and sin is death."* 10,000 times. Due by the end of the month, in December. While I was writing them out, she came by my door, didn't say a word, and just set her belt on the doorknob.
That was about as bad as it got, and honestly I consider myself lucky it never got worse. I went to my grandparents' house almost every weekend, and they tried to spoil me as best they could. They weren't rich, but they loved me and gave me everything they could. I wouldn't be anywhere near the kind of person I am today without them, and I'm so thankful they were a part of my life. They taught me how a family is supposed to show love, since my mom couldn't, my stepmom wouldn't, and my dad didn't know how.
I don't know if anyone is gonna read this (I'm kinda late to the thread), but if you got all the way here, thank you. I've been thinking about that part of my life a lot lately and it's helped to just get it out. It's a huge part of me that I'll never completely get past, but it's gotten easier.
Oh my god. That is absolutely horrible. I really hope you're okay now <3
"The authoritarian parenting style seems utterly archaic and reminiscent of Victorian times, to me," Vicki Broadbent, the author of Mumboss: The Honest Mum’s Guide to Surviving and Thriving at Work and at Home, told Bored Panda.
"It certainly reminds me of the style of teaching I was subjected to at strict private schools I attended (and wasn't a fan of). It's not how I raise my own children nor is it how I'd advise others to either."
It was never explicitly stated or anything, but I was never allowed to have a bad day, or feel upset about anything.
I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety during high school. Got home from the doctor, and my mother told me that she couldn't love me anymore and that I didn't have a right to feel like that.
Would get screamed at almost every day about how ungrateful I was and to 'snap out of this f*****g phase'.
She forced me to give her my passwords for Facebook, Skype and pretty much everything else, and would religiously log on every night to read through my private messages to see what I was talking about.
Had to have all electronic devices confiscated after 9pm, this caused a number of late assignment submissions at school.
I ended up burying my mental illness for a few years, didn't let my parents anywhere near what my feelings were doing.
Fast forward, now in first year of university. Started hearing voices and seeing things, thinking about dying on a more-than-daily basis. Turned 18, got myself to hospital and got prescriptions I've needed for years.
It's been almost a year since then, and while I'm still fairly unwell I'm doing a little better.
"Children need love and, most importantly, to know they are loved (through actions and words) in order to thrive. It is our duty of care as parents and guardians to be compassionate and nurturing whilst exercising boundaries," Broadbent said, adding that this doesn't mean you throw discipline out of the window.
"It's important children learn how to be respectful and follow rules but there is a gentle way of exercising those. Being firm and fair but equally loving. To criticize the behavior, not the child. For example, when my 13-year-old spoke rudely to me today, he lost access to his phone. The punishment must fit the crime."
If I farted it was 2 hours outside, even in the freezing winter. One day I collapsed in the cold and was taken away from my mum after I was hospitalised 3 hours after collapsing; then lived with my grandparents for the rest of my childhood and legally not allowed to see my mum until I was 18. Guess it counted as child abuse
Of course, mistakes happen. Especially when it comes to something as challenging as raising a child.
In fact, the statement that it is the hardest job in the world isn't just a catchphrase. According to a new Pew Research Center survey, most American parents (62%) say being a parent has been at least somewhat harder than they expected, with about a quarter (26%) saying it's been a lot harder.
This is especially true of mothers, 30% of whom say being a parent has been a lot harder than they expected (compared with 20% of fathers).
My mom once kicked me out of the house for being gay and I'm not even gay
The same survey also asked whether moms and dads tend to stick to their guns too much or give in too quickly, praise or criticize their children too much, be overprotective or give too much freedom, and push their children too hard or not hard enough, and the share which said neither option accurately describes their parenting style ranged from 34% to 53%, meaning that most households probably couldn't be described as solely strict or flexible, and have features of both.
My mom wouldn’t let me open a new milk without her permission or open anything really without it. Like we would have an extra milk in the garage fridge and I would use the rest of the mil inside.
Instead of a normal household where you could just get more I had to call her and ask. So that meant if she didn’t pick up then I would have to wait for her to call back.
The first time I realized this wasn’t normal is when I friend went to open a new gallon of milk and I got super anxious and was like “dude you have to call your mom right now or she’ll freak out.”
She was like “umm... my mom will be okay if I need a glass of milk.”
It suddenly clicked that my mom was a control freak.
"If you push your children to feel they must achieve 10/10 and nothing is ever good enough, they will feel constantly on edge and that your love is conditional," Vicki Broadbent said. "Focus on praising your children on their behavior, attitude, kindness etc., outside of school objectives/exams."
Analyzing your own past will probably point you in the right direction when you aren't sure how to react to a particular situation. "Reflecting back on my own high school days, I felt disrespected, dismissed and that I could never do any good in my teachers' eyes so I stopped trying," Broadbent added. "It's a miracle I did well academically."
Something less serious.
My mom was paranoid everyone and everything was a kidnapper. She hated the mailman on our route. So, when I was young, 3, 4 years old, my mom told me it was illegal to be outside when the mail came.
Around 11:15 every day I'd see that truck coming. I'd high tail it inside the house, terrified I would be spotted.
Fast forward 30 years. I still genuinely feel a tinge of panic in the smallest recesses of the back of my brain when I see the mailman arrive. Only now it's overpowered by the excitement of my latest Amazon package I really don't need.
Well at least this mom was concerned for her daughter unlike some in this thread
"Children fare better mentally, physically, and academically when they feel emotionally safe and furthermore, when they're having fun," Broadbent said.
"Parenting is a tough gig no doubt, no one expects you to be perfect, we're all simply trying our best but my advice, is to be the parent you wish you had in your life if yours didn't match up to expectations and reconnect with your inner child and how you felt at your kids' age."
I had a stepdad who was a police officer and all this occurred until I was 15:
-I had to eat beans first on my plate and then clockwise. If I didn't follow this rule, I would get no food and smacked from dinner table.
-I couldn't listen to Vanilla Ice because it was "black music"
-I had to stand in the corner with both feet on floor and back straight for hours
-I had a time limit on hugging my mother. If we hugged too long he called me homosexual slurs
-I had to get up in the morning and sit on the toilet and shine his leather while he showered
-I couldn't shut the door to poop
-I couldn't shut the door to shower or bathe
-if my bed squeaked at night, I would get whipped for what he thought was self-pleasuring
Oh, yeah. There is more. I just don't want to dig into those tunnels before bed.
EDIT: I am Mid-thirties straight male and in a professional career. Happened 84-1997 in Southern U.S. This is just surface stuff. I didn't even mention the stuff I KNEW was off growing up. He is retired on police pension living off the state. Never had a single charge formally put in his jacket or his criminal record.
Mom was abused as well.
Thanks for the words internets!
Luckily, it sounds like most moms and dads are succeeding. When KidsHealth.org and TIME for Kids surveyed over 9,000 children ages 8 to 14, 85% of them said they have fun with their parents and 79% said they feel close to them.
My dad wouldn't let me go out, at all. The only time he would let me leave the house was to walk to school and even then, he had to walk me to the entrance. Was teased for it all the time. Due to my isolated upbringing, I'm very socially awkward...and he wonders why I won't go out and find myself a partner. He never raised my sisters that way, just me.
He also wouldn't let me chew gum. He would flip out. He has physically pried my mouth open to take the gum out.
He is such a bizarre, controlling man.
Makes me wonder whether you were the youngest, or looked just like your mum/aunt/a relative who did something wrong when unsupervised. Hope you enjoy spreading your wings one day.
my time to shine.
-no nail polish
-no tights under dresses
-no drinking tea
-not allowed to watch anything with any cursing
-had to call my parents sir and ma'am (now they're upset that I call them this instead of mom and dad, but it's what they asked me to do)
-bed time of 9:30 until I was 18
-parents took my phone at 9pm every night when I was in high school and read through all of my texts
-opening my bank statements
-not a rule, but my parents would read my diary and go through my computer, and once left video cameras up while I was hanging out with a friend and talking. they loved to repeat things I had said or written to me, just to let me know that I had no privacy
-in elementary school, my parents sat me down and said "we just want you to know, if you get pregnant while living with us we WILL kick you out"
-my parents gave my dog away while I was at school one day without telling me. I was nine
and these days they wonder why I never want to share anything with them 🙃
edit: added more bc this is kind of cathartic
I once got grounded for 2 months because my school bus was late.
EDIT: Back story - I was 12 years old when this happened. A couple of kids almost got into a fistfight before the school left the parking lot and the bus driver had to get the principal to break it up and escort them back into the school. The bus driver lectured us about fighting before driving us home. This caused us to be 30-minutes late. When I explained this to my mother she blamed the whole situation one me which was completely irrational because 1.) I barely knew the kids who were involved 2.) I was an introvert/bookworm type who never got into a fight & 3.) if I had been in the fight I would have been taken to the principal's office for punishment instead of being allowed to ride the bus home.
She made a rule that I would be grounded every time the bus was late going forward regardless of the reasoning. I grew up in the northeast part of the U.S., so even when the bus driver had to drive home slowly because of snow I would still get punished. Needless to say, I wasn't allowed out of the house much in middle school & high school.
I was not allowed to use the money cheat on Sims growing up because that's not how the "real world" works, I used the cheat once and couldn't explain where all the money I had came from so I was grounded and had Sims taken away.
Come on, it's a freaking video game, not real world. Are there vampires, zombies and ghosts in the real world? (There weren't the last time I checked).
IKR, iv been living in my castle for 700 years, and haven't seen any. Casper might, he has been there longer.
Load More Replies...A money cheat is absolutely real world. Except in the real world they call it "inheritance" or "executive bonus".
I had the Sims 2 when I was about 10 and I was so scared of my parents finding out that my sims were having pre-marital sex, I ended up "accidentally losing" the game disc and never played it again lol
"I cheated once and couldn't explain where did the money come from" it's ironic cauz that sure is how we wish the real f*cking world worked
I mean it is just a game - but I did use the cheat when I was young and kinda made the game less fun! Sure I could get everything I wanted, and not work but it became stagnant....
Note to self: When future kids play games, share cheat codes with them or help them with the game. Reasoning: It's a game, it's supposed to be fun. Also, not many play the same games as me and therefore, I (had to) walk alone...
Instead of money cheat, you could have used the tutorial exploit. If you don't finish the tutorial, your Sims' meters don't go down. So you can send them to work in the morning and have them stay up all night leveling up skills or painting on the easel to make extra money.
That is an incredibly ironic scenario. I couldn't help but chuckle. Sorry.
Oh my word is that sims 2 or 3 in the photo? Either way The nostalgia hit felt good
I can somehow understand this one. Maybe the parents did not want her to be over the game too soon. Sometimes, if you get too much too fast, you will not appreciate it and grow bored very quickly. Edit: I just mean the no cheating rule, not the grounding part.
But that's also a lesson for kids to learn. In any case, grounding them is too much.
Load More Replies... Nobody in my house was allowed to get the mail except my dad. Doesn't matter what time he got home. Leave the mail in the mailbox. He would also personally open all the mail no matter the recipient. He would always know if anyone touched it.
Edit: We aren't in piles of debt, I am not Harry Potter, I think he just likes control.
Go to school, but i wont drive you, get good grades but dont stay for any extracurricular or sports because once you get home you have a list of chores to do. Must be perfect, theres a water spot on this fork you have to redo every dish in the house. I just made food after you vacuumed, you missed all these crumbs do it again, why are you still up so late, light off (while trying to get homework done since i spent hours cleaning) no friends over, curfew is 8pm, 8:01 youre not allowed in just stay out. Youve done everything i asked, you dont deserve your room, you get the garage. And you need to pay some rent to live under this roof so you need to get a job. Oh you got a job okay move out, if your.stuff is here by the time i get home its going in the trash :)
Edit: i feel the need to note that i am a girl, ive seen a lot of references asking if im their brother or refer to me as he- probably makes this worse that their daughter had to be out at all hours of the night with all this but just tt clarify for yall
WHAT?!?! Man, so many insaaaaaane parents!! JFC people are absolutely bonkers.
When I was 17 my parents “grounded me” and confiscated my savings account. Literally transferring all of the money from my account to theirs. They day I became ungrounded and the money was transferred back, I closed the account and opened a new one with another bank that was not connected to theirs.
I had a ton of absurd rules growing up, too many to just list one.
No eating of birthday cupcakes at school. No giving or receiving of birthday presents.
No dressing up for Halloween or going trick or treating.
No Christmas presents.
Must get up every Saturday morning, put on a full suit and tie no matter the heat, and knock on strangers' doors to try to give them propaganda for a cult.
Not allowed to have friends who weren't in said cult.
Threatened with disownment if I ever wanted out of said cult.
Had to get home before the sun set. Even though I went to school an hour and a half away and would get home at the same time each day, but always found myself in trouble during winter.
The rule was that my mom had to pick out my friends because she didn't want me hanging out with anyone who wasn't Catholic or was into Satanic content.
To my mom EVERYTHING was Satanic. So basically just about everyone I brought home was influenced by the devil because their parents let them listen to modern pop music and watch Pokemon and DBZ (mid-late '90s.) Visiting their homes was strictly forbidden on account of the fact that the only opinions she wanted me to have were hers and hers only. It also didn't help when I wanted to play at the park with my friends and my mom would literally follow us and watch us the entire time. Eventually, no one wanted to be my friend anymore and that was when the bullying began. This torture went on for 7 years. Then my mom wondered why I didn't have any friends and was bullied for such a long time. It was a miracle that I even had friends when high school came along.
Needless to say, I'm not a Catholic anymore and my mom and I are not in good terms. There was a s**t ton of crazy rules living with my parents (mainly from my mom; my dad only followed to avoid arguments), but this rule was the one that affected me the most.
EDIT: Thank you for the gold!
Yup. Mom justified extreme control with faith; exactly zero true Catholics I know think this way!!
I had to ask for permission to use the bathroom and I was not allowed to shut the door. My younger brothers did not have that rule.
I was not allowed to be in any room with the door shut unless it was with my dad.
I was not allowed to eat unless I had been weighed. If I weighed too much I did not get to eat.
I was allowed to watch some tv but I was not allowed to touch any buttons either on the tv or the remote. My brothers were allowed to do whatever.
I was only allowed to read 20 pages of material a day. This included school work and the mandatory newspaper reading session.
Even until I went to college I was not allowed off of the property unless it was for a job or school. We lived in a suburb. Getting a job was hard because I had to get my younger brothers to go with for the interview. And we had to come up with an excuse for them to leave.
Every time I had a conversation with someone I had to recount the entire thing to my parents and in my diary.
My diary was read on the daily and if I forgot to put something in, I was grounded.
If I ate something without permission, I was required to throw it up.
Attended Church 3 times on Sunday (9am 11am and 7pm) followed by Bible study Tuesday nights and Youth Group Friday nights.
I can count on 1 hand the times I missed attending from birth until I moved out at 17.
I haven't been back since.
With all that attendance, don't tell people you left the church. Tell them you finished up early.
Basically don't be shocked when she hits you. If you flinch, that's disrespect. If you raise your hands to cover your face, that's a threat. If you threaten to call the police or hit back, that's questioning her authority.
I put up with that for 22 years. Finally at 24 I stand up for myself. I have yet to hit her back lol. I'm compiling evidence to take to the police.
EDIT: Holy f**k I got my first gold!
As you are an adult, you can move out without her permission and you probably don't need masses of evidence to take to the police so please get yourself out of that dangerous environment as soon as you can. Police can put you in touch with volunteer groups who can help with emergency housing etc.
I wasn't allowed to leave my room. I could go to the bathroom or kitchen but I better have a reason to be there.
Noone in the house was allowed to shave or have a razor at all. I could go to a barber or shave at a friend's house, but had my PC taken away when I tried at home. I still don't understand my mother's logic behind this one.
When I was a teenager, my Mum wouldn't let me shave my legs in the shower - only dry shave so that I didn't end up with cuts that turned into scars. I could see her reasoning.
I'm 27 years old and still don't know what they expect me to wear on my feet when in the house. Barefoot? "Are you trying to catch a cold?" Socks? "Stop wearing bare socks! You'll wear a hole in them!" Shoes? "Stop tracking stuff in!"
Edit: forgot to add that a few years ago, I gave up on the idea of making them happy in any way, and they gave up on me in turn, so this particular fight hasn't come up in a while.
Edit 2: To the people saying house slippers, they shot that down too. "Money doesn't grow on trees. We're not buying special shoes just for the house."
After I turned 9 y/o I wasn't allowed to watch cartoons anymore. I hated my dad for it.
What are you supposed to watch on TV if not cartoons? Boring talk shows?
My parents were all over the place with strictness. When I was old enough to drive, my younger sister and I would drive to McDonald's, just a few miles away. My parents would admonish us "Whatever you do, do NOT eat french fries in the car!!!!". Invariably, we would get home, they would run out, open the car doors, sniff, and start screaming at us for eating french fries in the car. We never did.
Edit: Apparently NOBODY read those last three words, as I got a ton of messages saying "WHY DID YOU HORRIBLE KIDS EAT FRENCH FRIES IN THE CAR?????????", so, again, "We never did!"
It's a stupid rule of course, but I can see where the parents came from those fries stink up the car for days even if kept inside two bags
My grandmother made me write out the encyclopedia entry on witchcraft when she found out I had read the first 4 Harry Potter books, if that counts?
my dad was raised with the idea that kids essentially have no opinion, which he passed on to my sister and i. if we were doing anything and he or my mom needed us to do something else, we were expected to immediately drop it and go do the other thing. which doesn't sound that bad until i'd be in the middle of painting or something else messy, be called to do dishes, then in the middle of dishes be called to clean up the original mess, then go to clean that up and be yelled at for not finishing dishes. and lord help me if i said "just a minute!" or anything of that ilk.
My mom was absolutely obsessed with clean feet. Every day before school, she would make sure we got in the bath and cleaned our feet. I know most of you people are like, "Yeah well when I take a shower I'm already standing in soapy water, so good enough" but that attitude would get your face slapped off around my mom.
She'd have the bath full of scolding hot water every morning and the first thing would we do, before eating, before showering, before changing into our clothes, is dip our feet in that too hot water. Then my mom would load our feet up with this really strong smelling soap from some specialty store or something, because I've never seen it anywhere else, and she would scrub every square microinch of our feet with this stiff bristled big toothbrush thing. Maybe it was for cleaning horse teeth, I don't know.
It hurt so bad. The water was too hot, the soap stung, and the brushing was too intense. I never got used to it, but I couldn't talk back or avoid it either. If I tried to get out of it or complain about it, BLAM! Slapped across the face. Complain about the slap? BOOM! Grounded from TV, the computer, friends, and books.
It wasn't until I left for college did I experience what it was like to not thoroughly clean my feet every single morning. It felt liberating. I even walked around without socks sometimes (my mom always made us wear two pairs). I still had my feet scrubbed like hell when I came home to visit though. Only those times it felt good, as if they needed a good cleaning.
Even now when I see my mom, she wants to clean my feet. It's pretty great actually. Imagine going to the dentist to get your teeth cleaned, but it's for your feet instead.
My parents were horrible parents in general but the most bizarre rule that my siblings and I put up with was that we weren't allowed to sneeze multiple times in a row. One sneeze? Fine. Another sneeze after some arbitrary number of minutes later? No problem. Two sneezes in a row? Get yelled at for being unhygienic (even if you covered your nose/mouth properly) and for having no manners. God forbid if you sneezed thrice or more in a row... I have seasonal allergies and one time, my dad was in a particularly bad mood and caught me in a sneezing fit and grounded me for a week.
My mom and I didn't get along and she did this count to 3 thing. I used to get in trouble for stuff I didn't do so I got sent to my room a lot. I would then refuse to go there so she came up with this rule where she would add an extra hour every time I talked back after she got to 3. I ended up spending 8 hours in my room once because my sister lied about me doing something.
I came to say the same, most are not just "weird rules", but outright abuse.
Load More Replies...One thing weird about my parents is that onion and garlic are banned in my house. The reason is because my mom believes that onion and garlic cause depression and give out negative vibrations. She also hates it whenever I talk about astronomy around her as she believes that it’s all fake and that the world will end soon in the next decade and then some “golden age” will happen where only she and a few thousand other people will be reborn as deities. She doesn’t believe in evolution and she thinks that our country (India) is the oldest and best country and all others “stole” our culture.
There aren’t any weird rules that I grew up with but that doesn’t mean that I wasn’t abused. I was held up to the ceiling and choked for wearing jeans and doing mild warm ups that didn’t require any stretching. I also got threatened with a knife because my former friend told my parents that I was suicidal
Load More Replies...This was a terrible f*****g thread. I was hoping for you know. oh I couldn't go out before 7 am because of ghosts. Instead it's either straight up child abuse, or children just not liking being punished when they do stupid s**t.
We both know what BP is, and we all know is that this thread was gonna be about abuse, not crazy rules
Load More Replies...I left home at 17 as soon as I finished high school. My stepfather was a pervert who walked in on me showering or getting dressed. He also gave me a hiding over his lap, on my bare bottom, when I was 16. Mom did nothing. He was furious with me when I grew taller than him (6ft@15). I was punished for being left-handed (rapped on the knuckles for using cutlery in the "wrong" hand). He was an absolute @55hole and the day he finally died was probably the best day of my life.
Okay...I expected like....we aren't allowed to drink soda or something like we couldn't wear red....these are jot absurd...these are insane
had to stop reading after a while. A lot of these are just straight child abuse. My parents were strict and had weird rules, but were not abusive in any way and have lightened up considerably since then. I didn't go to a movie theater until 11th grade. That's about the worst I've got I think.
This thread makes me appreciate my parents and the childhood I had. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't always the happiest it could be. We were poor and the house was overcrowded, but I didn't go through anything like this.
My parents kicked me out of the house when I was 19 because they found out I had sex with my very serious, long term boyfriend (I married him 5 years later; he is an incredible partner). No warning, no help, and my dad didn't speak to me for 3 years! For having premarital sex! I had one day to pack my stuff and then I was out. Thankfully, a friend had a spare room she let me rent for a few months but I want to reiterate: I was 19, I had no money, worked a crappy job that paid basically nothing, and they took my car and my phone. It was a very dark time. I spent several months couch surfing, narrowly escaped a few assaults, and spent one night sleeping in a park. Many tens of thousands in credit card and student loan debt I managed to figure it out. Eventually, they started speaking to me again, but anytime anything goes slightly askew in my life my mother likes to remind me that it's because "I gave my heart away too soon" but that's growing up in a Christian house I guess...
No, that's growing up in an abusive house. Plenty of people grow up in Christian houses and aren't treated like that and people who hide behind "Christian ideals" are just cowards not true believers.
Load More Replies...Here, since I can't add a post I'll just put it in the comments: This isn't really child abuse, it's just super unfair. Once, my dad wanted me and my siblings to clean up the house- we had company coming over later that night! He told me to put away the groceries. I did. Then he told me to do the laundry. Done! Then he told me to take care of my brother (who at the time was five) while he went to the grocery store, and I also did that. He made me clean two rooms. I did that too. Then he yelled at me to make rice. That was easy, I did that. Then I had to clean up all the food after dinner was finished and package all the leftovers. Finished. Yeah, that's a lot of work for (at the time) a 12-year-old girl. What did he make my teenage sister do? Nothing.
Not as bad as many of these posts but, my mother used to have a tantrum and/or return things that I bought when I was a teenager. Item I got with the money that I earned from the Saturday job that she made me get. Numerous times I caught her trying to get into my phone (again funded by myself)
These for sure are all emotional and/or physical child abuse. I know - I am a retired social worker - worked in that area almost all my professional life. I hope all these now grown children have gotten some therapy or other kinds of help. Carol
No friends over at the house. No sleep overs...no neighborhood kids playing in our yard. If we wanted to play, we went over to our friends houses. We were also not allowed to get sick during the school year or miss classes. If we had to stay home because we were sick, my mother would let us know how much of an inconvenience it was to her. The kids were not allowed to drink soda in the house. All soda consumption (a rare occurrence) was to take place outside. Then my grandmother on my Dad's side always wondered why their garage fridge, that was filled top to bottom with soda, was always empty after us kids left......
This girl at school wasn't allowed to wear a mask when masks were optional but encouraged. Otherwise their parents would take her car away.
My rules were tough: No drugs. No tattoos. You help around the house - you have to be responsible for your environment. When they graduated, they could stay with free room and board, as long as they followed the rules and were either working or going to college... got told how wrong I was on more than one occasion...
This post makes me so grateful for the amazing parents I had growing up. These poor people with such horrible abusive disgusting humans that are meant to love and care for them. And the parents that allow step parents beat and abuse their kids are even worse. Horrible things to do on kiddies.
Mine was don't be depressed. You are just being like that to fool people into feeling sorry for you. You aren't sad, everybody gets sad. Depression is a choice and you just have to change your mind! Yeah cause being suicidal was so much fun. Medication was for the weak and an embarrassment to the whole family that must be hidden away from sight.
Dk if this counts bit my Aunt (legally my mom through adoption) wold tell me "ask for help if you need it! Don't just do it wrong!" Getting on to me for doing something wrong then when I ask for help on a simple task "WHY DONT YOU KNOW HOW TO DO THIS? ITS SIMPLE AND EASY YOURE GONNA DO IT EVERYDAY FOR A WEEK!"
Some people need serious evaluation before being allowed to procreate. Those up there would have obviously failed said evaluation and seriously need the common sense bashed into them with a sledgehammer... Smh!!!
The creators of this post should know that people in all stages of recovery, including none, will be reading this and posting. It would be good if they would provide some resources in the intro that people can access (phone numbers, websites, literature) to help them work through these experiences and memories. I was abused as a child and went to therapy for years as a young adult. My favorite writer for helping me back away from codependent behavior (extreme people-pleasing) in my adult life is Melody Beattie, especially her book Codependent No More. Best wishes to all those who suffered or who are suffering now.
Most of these parents will be like "whyyyy won't my kids visit me at the nursing home waaaaagh"
I came to say the same, most are not just "weird rules", but outright abuse.
Load More Replies...One thing weird about my parents is that onion and garlic are banned in my house. The reason is because my mom believes that onion and garlic cause depression and give out negative vibrations. She also hates it whenever I talk about astronomy around her as she believes that it’s all fake and that the world will end soon in the next decade and then some “golden age” will happen where only she and a few thousand other people will be reborn as deities. She doesn’t believe in evolution and she thinks that our country (India) is the oldest and best country and all others “stole” our culture.
There aren’t any weird rules that I grew up with but that doesn’t mean that I wasn’t abused. I was held up to the ceiling and choked for wearing jeans and doing mild warm ups that didn’t require any stretching. I also got threatened with a knife because my former friend told my parents that I was suicidal
Load More Replies...This was a terrible f*****g thread. I was hoping for you know. oh I couldn't go out before 7 am because of ghosts. Instead it's either straight up child abuse, or children just not liking being punished when they do stupid s**t.
We both know what BP is, and we all know is that this thread was gonna be about abuse, not crazy rules
Load More Replies...I left home at 17 as soon as I finished high school. My stepfather was a pervert who walked in on me showering or getting dressed. He also gave me a hiding over his lap, on my bare bottom, when I was 16. Mom did nothing. He was furious with me when I grew taller than him (6ft@15). I was punished for being left-handed (rapped on the knuckles for using cutlery in the "wrong" hand). He was an absolute @55hole and the day he finally died was probably the best day of my life.
Okay...I expected like....we aren't allowed to drink soda or something like we couldn't wear red....these are jot absurd...these are insane
had to stop reading after a while. A lot of these are just straight child abuse. My parents were strict and had weird rules, but were not abusive in any way and have lightened up considerably since then. I didn't go to a movie theater until 11th grade. That's about the worst I've got I think.
This thread makes me appreciate my parents and the childhood I had. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't always the happiest it could be. We were poor and the house was overcrowded, but I didn't go through anything like this.
My parents kicked me out of the house when I was 19 because they found out I had sex with my very serious, long term boyfriend (I married him 5 years later; he is an incredible partner). No warning, no help, and my dad didn't speak to me for 3 years! For having premarital sex! I had one day to pack my stuff and then I was out. Thankfully, a friend had a spare room she let me rent for a few months but I want to reiterate: I was 19, I had no money, worked a crappy job that paid basically nothing, and they took my car and my phone. It was a very dark time. I spent several months couch surfing, narrowly escaped a few assaults, and spent one night sleeping in a park. Many tens of thousands in credit card and student loan debt I managed to figure it out. Eventually, they started speaking to me again, but anytime anything goes slightly askew in my life my mother likes to remind me that it's because "I gave my heart away too soon" but that's growing up in a Christian house I guess...
No, that's growing up in an abusive house. Plenty of people grow up in Christian houses and aren't treated like that and people who hide behind "Christian ideals" are just cowards not true believers.
Load More Replies...Here, since I can't add a post I'll just put it in the comments: This isn't really child abuse, it's just super unfair. Once, my dad wanted me and my siblings to clean up the house- we had company coming over later that night! He told me to put away the groceries. I did. Then he told me to do the laundry. Done! Then he told me to take care of my brother (who at the time was five) while he went to the grocery store, and I also did that. He made me clean two rooms. I did that too. Then he yelled at me to make rice. That was easy, I did that. Then I had to clean up all the food after dinner was finished and package all the leftovers. Finished. Yeah, that's a lot of work for (at the time) a 12-year-old girl. What did he make my teenage sister do? Nothing.
Not as bad as many of these posts but, my mother used to have a tantrum and/or return things that I bought when I was a teenager. Item I got with the money that I earned from the Saturday job that she made me get. Numerous times I caught her trying to get into my phone (again funded by myself)
These for sure are all emotional and/or physical child abuse. I know - I am a retired social worker - worked in that area almost all my professional life. I hope all these now grown children have gotten some therapy or other kinds of help. Carol
No friends over at the house. No sleep overs...no neighborhood kids playing in our yard. If we wanted to play, we went over to our friends houses. We were also not allowed to get sick during the school year or miss classes. If we had to stay home because we were sick, my mother would let us know how much of an inconvenience it was to her. The kids were not allowed to drink soda in the house. All soda consumption (a rare occurrence) was to take place outside. Then my grandmother on my Dad's side always wondered why their garage fridge, that was filled top to bottom with soda, was always empty after us kids left......
This girl at school wasn't allowed to wear a mask when masks were optional but encouraged. Otherwise their parents would take her car away.
My rules were tough: No drugs. No tattoos. You help around the house - you have to be responsible for your environment. When they graduated, they could stay with free room and board, as long as they followed the rules and were either working or going to college... got told how wrong I was on more than one occasion...
This post makes me so grateful for the amazing parents I had growing up. These poor people with such horrible abusive disgusting humans that are meant to love and care for them. And the parents that allow step parents beat and abuse their kids are even worse. Horrible things to do on kiddies.
Mine was don't be depressed. You are just being like that to fool people into feeling sorry for you. You aren't sad, everybody gets sad. Depression is a choice and you just have to change your mind! Yeah cause being suicidal was so much fun. Medication was for the weak and an embarrassment to the whole family that must be hidden away from sight.
Dk if this counts bit my Aunt (legally my mom through adoption) wold tell me "ask for help if you need it! Don't just do it wrong!" Getting on to me for doing something wrong then when I ask for help on a simple task "WHY DONT YOU KNOW HOW TO DO THIS? ITS SIMPLE AND EASY YOURE GONNA DO IT EVERYDAY FOR A WEEK!"
Some people need serious evaluation before being allowed to procreate. Those up there would have obviously failed said evaluation and seriously need the common sense bashed into them with a sledgehammer... Smh!!!
The creators of this post should know that people in all stages of recovery, including none, will be reading this and posting. It would be good if they would provide some resources in the intro that people can access (phone numbers, websites, literature) to help them work through these experiences and memories. I was abused as a child and went to therapy for years as a young adult. My favorite writer for helping me back away from codependent behavior (extreme people-pleasing) in my adult life is Melody Beattie, especially her book Codependent No More. Best wishes to all those who suffered or who are suffering now.
Most of these parents will be like "whyyyy won't my kids visit me at the nursing home waaaaagh"