Ha

That and having a maid named mom....missing her nightly cooking

Tiny Dynamine, you know it's a common fact that people who feel the need to call people losers are the one who actually need to reassure themselves because they are very insecure ? Don't worry, we are not mad at you for being a loser looking for attention :)

i agree with this one, not remotely photogenic, me!

You have two!?! Damn it!

¡Muy bueno!

When nothing goes right go to the left :)

Your secret is safe with me, I've forgotten it already. It's the best thing I know to do when people tell me things they want kept secret.

Sounds like me.

..me...

Or you call back immediately while they are trying to call you back again, so you just have to deal with the answering machine. But you have the feeling you HAVE to be the one who will reach the other one first :D

Not yet

Perfect.

This is my mantra!

Haha this is great... Maybe in a couple years.. Rn I'm good with cheetos and Netflix...

seems like we are same for this point :D

Uh yes you do. Always

Love it !

I think this just about says it all.

LMAO

Or "Eye of the Tiger."

Exercise*

Too bad they all say princess or superhero! Lol

Me exactly

No one gives a s**t.

I totally agree

Remember #26

My life exactly.

Then again, no one's coming at me with a sword that's better than my sword in real life, either...

Ggihrvbkojrresdfghkl alchahol mutates your internal organs. Getting overly drunk takes months even years off of your life....

Me...

me too

the first part was the most absurd. girl logic... where

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stolen from twitter

true

Ooooh! this one was a zinger!

omg my ex use to say this

#25

My friend likes to say "I have a six pack, it's just very shy"

Your tears ARE precious currency.....to the right banker. :)

As I tell my dog - life is short, bite hard!

yes

why do peo- that one is so true

🤣🤣🤣True people need to do that🤣🤣🤣

Ah....the modern day Ouroboros.

Maybe he has a secret identity we don't know of?

Yep!

I know like this is my food 🤣🤣

Omgosh yes😂😂

omg so true

I lov😂😂