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Before naming our cat, my partner and I debated for weeks about what we should call him. We thought long and hard about what name perfectly suited his personality, made extensive lists, asked friends for their opinions and played around with different options to make sure we chose the perfect one. I can’t even imagine how stressful it is to name a child. But apparently, some parents have no problem choosing names that essentially beg bullies to target their kids. 

Redditors have recently been discussing the absolute worst names that children can be given, so we’ve gathered the most egregious ones below. Enjoy scrolling through this list of names that nobody should ever use, and keep reading to find a conversation with naming expert and founder of Namerology.com, Laura Wattenberg!

This post may include affiliate links.

#1

“Blessica”: 60 Of The Absolute Worst Names That Parents Could Give Their Children X Æ A-12.

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2 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That is a crime against humanity. It looks like a porn channel password.

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#2

“Blessica”: 60 Of The Absolute Worst Names That Parents Could Give Their Children Latrina.

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Tobias Reaper
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2 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

this is like that Character in Robin Hood men in tights called Latrine the when the Sherriff asks her about it she says she changed it to Latrine it used to be s**t house

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#3

“Blessica”: 60 Of The Absolute Worst Names That Parents Could Give Their Children I was a camp counselor. One of the campers there was a girl named Beanz.

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To learn a bit more about names and how to choose a great baby name, we got in touch with naming expert, founder of Namerology.com, and author of The Baby Name Wizard, Laura Wattenberg. Laura was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda and remind readers that, thankfully, most of the names on this list are simply hypotheticals. "Even most of the claims of, 'I met a kid named…' are urban legends!" she noted.

The expert also says it's important to be empathetic when discussing names. "When it comes to real names, it’s always worth remembering there’s a real child attached. Don’t be too quick to insult a name, even online," she noted. "The child WILL find it, and it will hurt."

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#4

“Blessica”: 60 Of The Absolute Worst Names That Parents Could Give Their Children My coworker named her baby "Orgasm".

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2 hours ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"My name is Orgasm, but you can call me Orgy!

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#5

“Blessica”: 60 Of The Absolute Worst Names That Parents Could Give Their Children Foreigner. Given to an impossibly white kid in very rural Oklahoma. He and his brother Journey had strange parents.

Accidental_Taco , Derek Owens/unsplash Report

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#6

“Blessica”: 60 Of The Absolute Worst Names That Parents Could Give Their Children Pubert.

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When it comes to bad baby names, Laura says there are two kinds: "names that are not what the parents intended, and names used as a weapon."

"Parents occasionally choose a name not realizing the way it will come across to others. They may not know a word or a cultural reference and are blindsided by people’s reactions," the expert noted. "It can even come down to a matter of spelling, like Analie vs. Anally."
#7

“Blessica”: 60 Of The Absolute Worst Names That Parents Could Give Their Children A lady I know named her son Kody, but spells it CHODE.. which means something completely different, imo.😂.

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#8

“Blessica”: 60 Of The Absolute Worst Names That Parents Could Give Their Children DOLPHIN. A girl at my school was named Dolphin.

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1 hour ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Delfina" used to be a common girl name in Italy, and still is in France in the form "Delphine". It is quite peculiar in the fact that it has two coexisting branches with two distinct origins: one from the Roman family name "Delphinus", meaning "From Delphi" (the OG in Greece, not Indiana's cheap knockoff); and one from a corruption or "Adelphinus", from "Adelphos", meaning "Little Brother", a name that used to be common among early christian communities.

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#9

“Blessica”: 60 Of The Absolute Worst Names That Parents Could Give Their Children Meconium.

She heard nurse say it at the birth and thought it pretty. The definition is "a baby's first stool, usually black and tarry in nature, to dispel mucus and other embryonic matter." 🤦‍♀️.

digitalgirlie , Christian Bowen/unsplash Report

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2 hours ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The woman deserves prison and her name changed by court order into Turdy Hardstool.

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"The rarer case is names chosen maliciously," Laura says. "For instance, I’ve heard of instances of a husband insisting on a particular girl’s name, only for his wife to later discover it was the name of the woman he was having an affair with. Then there was the family that chose Nazi names deliberately to upset people. No child should be used as a weapon."
#10

“Blessica”: 60 Of The Absolute Worst Names That Parents Could Give Their Children I was once drunk in a Taco Bell, waiting for my order at the pickup counter. The employee comes over to announce the next order, goes to read the name on the bag, double takes.

“…Adolph?”

This m**********r walks up, head in shame. The employee literally said “that’s not funny” as the guy was trying to seriously explain that was his real name.

I think about that man often.

Broad_Strokes_paint , fourbyfourblazer/flickr Report

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#11

“Blessica”: 60 Of The Absolute Worst Names That Parents Could Give Their Children Candida - I know girls with it and I know it is wrong of me but can only think of thrush.

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58 minutes ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It just means "shiny white", super common in Roman and Medieval ages. It's now rare but it used to be common -bot h in male and female form- in Italy, France, and the Spanish speaking world. It also came to indicate someone as naive after the famous Voltaire's "Candide", leading to a decline in France, while a play by G.B. Shaw gave the name a decade of resurgence in the early XX century anglo-saxon cultural sphere.

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#12

“Blessica”: 60 Of The Absolute Worst Names That Parents Could Give Their Children Moe Lester.

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But the good news is that, even if you truly hate your name, you can always have it changed. "More adults are changing their names than ever before," Laura shared. "Your name is your identity in word form; the way you’re presented to the world. If you honestly believe yours doesn’t represent you well, changing it can be a reasonable choice."
#13

“Blessica”: 60 Of The Absolute Worst Names That Parents Could Give Their Children I knew a child named, I kid you not, Cl*toris. They pronounced it Klit-ress.

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#14

“Blessica”: 60 Of The Absolute Worst Names That Parents Could Give Their Children Neveah!

Have some f*****g creativity!
“It’S hEaVeN bAcKwArDs.


BRB naming my child Natas.

mvachino67 , claudiascakes/instagram Report

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34 minutes ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

isnt neveah the opposite of heaven. the opposite of heaven is hell.

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#15

“Blessica”: 60 Of The Absolute Worst Names That Parents Could Give Their Children Princess.



Not the absolute worst, but I don’t think I could ever take this person seriously. Please don’t give children names that you give pets.

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#16

“Blessica”: 60 Of The Absolute Worst Names That Parents Could Give Their Children Names I have came across over the years teaching…
B***h (no joke here)
Princess
Chlamydia
Shacked.

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#17

“Blessica”: 60 Of The Absolute Worst Names That Parents Could Give Their Children I remember a girl going viral for naming her daughter C*ntley.

moonlunatiic666 , Blake Cheek/unsplash Report

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#18

“Blessica”: 60 Of The Absolute Worst Names That Parents Could Give Their Children My great grandmother was named Crucifixa. Gotta love Italian Catholics back in the day.

Pinkysrage , Karolina Grabowska/unsplash Report

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48 minutes ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The correct form is "Crocifissa" and is in line with a lot of southern Italian religious devotional names such as "Addolorata" ("Painful", similar to Spanish "Dolores"), "Catena" ("Chain, shacked"), "Assunta" ("Assumed to heaven"), "Consolata" ("Consoled from pain"), "Veneranda" ("Venerable"), "Pia" ("Religious") etc. It's also a common name assumed by Nuns when they get ordered.

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#19

The Abcde trend (absidee) has got to stop.

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#20

“Blessica”: 60 Of The Absolute Worst Names That Parents Could Give Their Children I met a girl named America once. Im sure shes so happy with her parents 😂.

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Carl Roberts
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2 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There's an fairly famous actress named America Ferrera. Nobody has an issue with her name. Nobody.

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#21

“Blessica”: 60 Of The Absolute Worst Names That Parents Could Give Their Children Void. Could never write or cash checks with that name.

dstarr3 , RikkisRefuge Other/flickr Report

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#22

“Blessica”: 60 Of The Absolute Worst Names That Parents Could Give Their Children Lawr’ryn and Lylyt Yvyh Yryhl (read as 'Lilith Eva Uriel').

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#23

“Blessica”: 60 Of The Absolute Worst Names That Parents Could Give Their Children MLB player from 1979-1985 - [Rusty Kuntz]

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#24

“Blessica”: 60 Of The Absolute Worst Names That Parents Could Give Their Children Naming a kid *anything* that sounds like a joke—like "Brick" or "Banana"—is just setting them up for a tough time. Imagine going through life introducing yourself as “Banana”... nah, that’s just cruel. Keep it cute, not crazy!

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#25

Opponent of my son’s hs football team- Aero Smith.

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#26

Any name that is an expensive item. Rolex, Cartier, Mercedes, Diamond. Those are just str*pper names.

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Rachel Pelz
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1 hour ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mercedes is/used to be (?) a traditional Spanish name. One of the engineers/founder used his daughter Mercedes' name as his nickname in motor races, and eventually it was used not only for the driver but also for the car brand.

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#27

Did maintenance at a teaching hospital for a while. Passing through the Maternity ward, I've seen Tarzan, Puma, Aquanet, and my personal favorite... Brunhilde.

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#28

My husband has a friend named Mike Hunt. He's real.

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#29

Yeetidity.

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#30

“Blessica”: 60 Of The Absolute Worst Names That Parents Could Give Their Children For a boy, Sue.

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1 hour ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And if I ever have a son, I think I'm gonna name him... Bill or George! Any damn thing but Sue! I still hate that name!

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#31

Bort.

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#32

Joey Jo-Jo Junior Shabadoo.

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#33

There is a road in rural Ontario named after a local farmer, Harry Dyck. The road sign for Harry Dyck Road kept getting stolen. So they epoxy'd the sign to the post, and it remains to this day. True story.

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#34

New Hampshire had a representative named D**k Swett (representative from 1991-1995 then served as the American ambassador to Denmark from 1998-2001).

He goes by Richard now.

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#35

“Blessica”: 60 Of The Absolute Worst Names That Parents Could Give Their Children Breadquanda.

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#36

“Blessica”: 60 Of The Absolute Worst Names That Parents Could Give Their Children Soda

Seven.

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#37

My nephew has a classmate whose name is Zelphie. He is 6.

I thought this was bad, but all posts in this thread were even worse.

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#38

“Blessica”: 60 Of The Absolute Worst Names That Parents Could Give Their Children Fartbolemew.

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#39

Aaron, but *actually* pronounced A-A-ron.

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31 minutes ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

at least this will be an easy fix and the spelling is normal

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#40

“Blessica”: 60 Of The Absolute Worst Names That Parents Could Give Their Children These days, Alexa.

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2 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know a girl called Alexa who was born 3 months before the gadget was released. Needless to say, parents were less than thrille with the named being ruined.

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#41

Seymour Butts.. Sort of a good name tho.

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#42

Auschwitz or Treblinka are pretty bad.

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2 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Please tell me that even in the US you cannot name your kid Auschwitz oder Treblinka. Please.

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#43

Something that is clearly only a current trend.

For instance, "Hawktuah" would be a really, REALLY bad name.

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#44

Karen.

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#45

Bangkok.

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#46

“Blessica”: 60 Of The Absolute Worst Names That Parents Could Give Their Children Once worked with someone named Dorcas.

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#47

Analease.

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#48

Diddy.

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#49

Mulva.

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#50

Oedipus.

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#51

Whoopie.

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#52

Gaylord Focker.

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#53

Baby McBabyFace.

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45 minutes ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know someone with Baby as her first name. Needless to say she always went with her middle name.

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#54

If your last name is File, I wouldn't name it Peter.

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#55

C**p Bag. First name C**p. Last name Bag.

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#56

I know someone named A**l.

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#57

Hortense.

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#58

Ben Timover.

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#59

Prometheus.

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#60

“Blessica”: 60 Of The Absolute Worst Names That Parents Could Give Their Children Carl

As I've read somewhere before

'Imagine getting pregnant
Suffering with discomfort for 9 months
Then go into intense labor for multiple hours straight
Just to name the f****r Carl'.

--tummytuck-- , Curated Lifestyle/unsplash Report

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Jrog
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41 minutes ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's a powerful name, though. A King's name. It is Germanic for Free Man and for centuries it was reserved to nobles. "Huscarls" (i.e. Karls of the House) were also the highest ranks of guards in Scandinavian culture, the ones who were in charge of the defense of the town. It its derivate forms is still one of the most common names in Europe.

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