The Portland District of the US Army Corps of Engineers, even though being a federal agency, decided to produce a quirky and a free downloadable calendar featuring cats! 

These giant cats interact with the dams and other infrastructure along Oregon’s Columbia, Williamette and Rogue rivers. The descriptions chosen for each month of this project are hilarious, showing that engineers have a great sense of humor after all.

You can download and then print out the 2023 calendar here.

More info: usace.contentdm.oclc.org

Image credits: usace.contentdm.oclc.org

January 2023 | What the Hills Creek is THAT??!!

Image credits: usace.contentdm.oclc.org

Welcome to the first page of the 2023 calendar created by the US Army Corps of Engineers. Get ready to crack a smile while you plan your days! This calendar not only keeps your schedule in tip-top shape, but also serves up a handful of humor and knowledge with its clever quote selection:

“Gosh, every time the reservoir at Hills Creek is low, this stinkin’ cat shows up!

Look, we get it, the intake structure makes a great scratching post. But it has work to do, OK? An intake structure is an inlet that allows water to pass through adam safely via the regulating outlet,the powerhouse, or, in the case of Hills Creek, sometimes both.

This dam is located upstream from the town of Oakridge, Oregon, and is often uttered as a PG-rated swear.”

February 2023 | Cats?? CATS!!

Image credits: usace.contentdm.oclc.org

This calendar might leave you both smiling and inspired with their accompanying quotes:

“They aren’t a toy, cats!

Ah well, two new openings if anyone wants ‘em.”

March 2023 | For the love of Green Peter, this kitten is just adorable

Image credits: usace.contentdm.oclc.org

It stands out with its cleverness:

“Just hoping it doesn’t crush Green Peter Dam.”

April 2023 | You know if cats were giant this would be a real photo

Image credits: usace.contentdm.oclc.org

The pages of this calendar are where giant kittens and cat-themed quotes bring a touch of humor to even the most mundane of tasks:

“Let’s be honest: You know if cats were giant this would be a real photo”

May 2023 | This giant cat showed up: then we felt like we had to impress it

Image credits: usace.contentdm.oclc.org

Here you can find hilarious jokes about cats taking over the engineering world:

“The Oregon State Police’s special operations rope team did some rappel training and recertification at the John Day Dam navigation lock fairly recently, and it was pretty sweet.

We wouldn’t scale down the side of the 100-foot wall ourselves until this giant cat showed up. Then we felt like we had to impress it.”

June 2023 | Cat? Cat??! CAT!!

Image credits: usace.contentdm.oclc.org

And their delightful use of cats’ natural quirks and habits could bring a touch of humor to your schedule:

“Ah. Nothing like 60,000 cubic feet of water per second to rock you to sleep.

OK, well, the cat is down for the count. Suffice it to say that this is a LOT of water.”

July 2023 | If I fits, I sits!

Image credits: usace.contentdm.oclc.org

The quote on July 2023 calendar page says: “We’d do it, too, if we were a cat.”

August 2023 | They said I could be anything, so I became an excavator

Image credits: usace.contentdm.oclc.org

August’s quote is a humorous reminder to embrace your inner cat:

“You can be anything you want to be, cat. Keep the dream alive.

And keep South Jetty safe for us, all right? Our contractors helping us rehabilitate South Jetty just wrapped up work for the season.

See you in May 2024!”

September 2023 | Admit it: You want this picture on your wall

Image credits: usace.contentdm.oclc.org

Calendar creators tend to look at it from a laidback perspective, joking around:

“Seen here are the famous towers at the John Day Dam navigation lock.

Well… They’re famous to us, anyway.”

October 2023 | A giant cat might show up and knock you off

Image credits: usace.contentdm.oclc.org

With a humorous approach to providing important information, they make sure that you not only stay organized but also have fun:

“Especially during king tides (the highest tides of the year), it’s a good idea to avoid walking out onto jetties.

Myriad dangers await you on a jetty, to include intense waves, slippery rock surfaces, and holes you can fall into.

Plus, a giant cat might show up and knock you off into the *might*. The chances of it happening are very, zero.”

November 2023 | A cat on a fish ladder

Image credits: usace.contentdm.oclc.org

This calendar captures the essence of cats and their natural habits:

“Well that’s just typical, isn’t it?”

December 2023 | When you have to go, you have to go

Image credits: usace.contentdm.oclc.org

Calendar creators humorously remind that cats do whatever they want, whenever they want, with a clever collection of quotes highlighting their mischievous and carefree nature:

“Even if you’re at Elk Creek Dam in the Rogue River Basin.

Do your thang, cat. We’ll just look over here.”

Image credits: usace.contentdm.oclc.org

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