Mom Shares Brutally Honest List Of 20 Things To Know After You’ve Pushed Out A Baby

When british mom Bekki Pope "pushed out a baby" she decided to give other soon-to-be-moms some heads up. Her Facebook post aptly named "20 things to know when you've just pushed out a baby" instantly went viral generating more than 114,000 likes and 80,000 shares. Why is it so popular? Probably because it's so brutally honest, relatable and at the same time shows what soon-to-be-moms should expect.

Check them out below even if you're not a mother yet - they'll definitely make you giggle and understand the process better!

(h/t)

This post may include affiliate links.

#1 The after pains. Pain. After. Who knew? When God designed women to give birth, he well and truly screwed us over....

Mummy Mumbles Report

Final score:

17points

POST

Peta Hurley-Hill 8 years ago

and they get worse with each baby!

4points

View more comments

#2 Your first wee. Take a jug with you and pour it over your bits like you're trying to be a star in some very disturbing porno. It helps.

Mummy Mumbles Report

Final score:

11points

POST

Karla Kelly-Edwards 8 years ago

Feet up on a stool leaning forwards is another great one my mum taught me

6points

View more comments

#3 Your first poo. Do not panic. You are not having another baby. It just feels that way. But just remember the size of the thing you pushed out of the front bit, and the prospect of pushing out what's in the back bit won't be quite so daunting. Your bum is not falling out. Or it might be. If you have piles. Which you probably do...

Mummy Mumbles Report

Final score:

12points

POST

Alexandria Flint 8 years ago

First poop after a c section is just as bad 😂

5points

View More Replies...

View more comments

#4 Your baby looks weird. Like... Really weird. 'Oh how cute/such a beautiful baby' etc will be said at you and you'll accept other people's opinions, but to you it looks like a hairless slightly purple old grandad with dried blood and skin stuck to its wrinkly face.

Mummy Mumbles Report

Final score:

23points

POST

Imani Allen 8 years ago

I knew it...

9points

View more comments

#5 Their downstairs bits are ridiculous. You will worry about the impact they will have on their lives should they stay like that. Boys little nuggets are the size of whole walnut whips, but their willies are the size of the walnuts on the top that nobody wants. Apparently this 'swelling' goes down soon. If it doesn't, expect 'big bollocks' to be part of your sons school nickname.

Mummy Mumbles Report

Final score:

4points

POST

#6 Their first poo is not actually poo. It's tar. The midwives sneak in over night, fill your baby's nappy with treacle and then test you to see if you know to get rid of it, or to see if you decide to take one look at it and start googling 'why do nappies come pre-filled with marmite?'

Mummy Mumbles Report

Final score:

15points

POST

Sara Shrader 8 years ago

This is the most British paragraph in the history of time. Like more than the magna carta...

25points

View More Replies...

View more comments

#7 Your first shower will be like a scene from Carrie. It's normal. It may feel like you'll never be right again and that you'll walk like John Wayne forever, and you might, but you'll feel so much better for the shower. You're literally washing away your sins. (If the baby was born out of wedlock anyway....)

Mummy Mumbles Report

Final score:

11points

POST

Elaine Evans 8 years ago

Except that if you have saline baths 2 or 3 times a day instead of showers you won't walk like John Wayne and it won't hurt.

4points

View More Replies...

View more comments

#8 Midwives like babies. They will come and pick yours up with no prior warning. They will squeeze their testicles, massage their tummies to make them crap, and fiddle with their face so much you're sure the baby looks like it's had botox when they give it back.

Mummy Mumbles Report

Final score:

10points

POST

#9 Your baby hates you. It's not crying. It's communicating with its master- the devil- about how successful their plan to destroy you is going. Seriously - it doesn't actually hate you. It may seem like it never cries when anyone else holds it or that it enjoys keeping you up all night, but really, it is so dependant on you it's embarrassing. Human babies are embarrassing.

Mummy Mumbles Report

Final score:

18points

POST

Maggie Grover Bacher 8 years ago

and then overnight they are moving out into the world and you wish they were in your arms dependent on you again.

8points

View More Replies...

View more comments

#10 You will say the word 'latch' more than you have ever said it in your life. And the idea of a tiny person casually sucking on your nipples suddenly becomes a reality. At this moment, you will feel like an actual proper mum.
And a cow.

Mummy Mumbles Report

Final score:

10points

POST

Sharné Jacobs 8 years ago

gosh, I don't want to have babies.

10points

View more comments

#11 There are people in hospital that can smell your vulnerability. They will take photos of your baby looking cute and then try and charge you a million pounds for it. They will scroll through the 50 photos they've taken of your baby in the same position, asking you to choose your favourites. and if you've got a partner like mine, that means you will have to re-mortgage your house by the time he's done...

Mummy Mumbles Report

Final score:

3points

POST

Nils Fox 8 years ago

photographs in the hospital?

3points

View More Replies...

View more comments

#12 The hospital food is as bad as it is so that people decide they would rather be in pain and at home than eating 'peaches and custard'. The custard is hot wee with a splash of breast milk mixed in, and the peaches are body parts that have been soaked in sugar over night. And don't eat the chocolate mousse. Just don't.

Mummy Mumbles Report

Final score:

6points

POST

Maggie Grover Bacher 8 years ago

hunny, go get me a milkshake and burger

4points

View more comments

#13 It farts. It burps. It hiccups. It makes weird noises in its sleep that make you think you're going to wake up and see Chucky in the cot- head spinning and laughing. You hope people know it's the baby and not you. Not that you'd know if you were farting. Your sphincter muscle control is somewhat lacking at the moment.

Mummy Mumbles Report

Final score:

8points

POST

Laura Borne 8 years ago

I'm not British but this whole article is funny. I don't get the feeling she has any bad feelings towards her child at all. This is hilarious and true.

12points

View more comments

See Also on Bored Panda

50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics

#20 Stop worrying. You're not superwoman. There is no such thing as normal, and there is no such thing as perfect. You are your baby's normal. You are your baby's perfect. They aren't judging you. They are completely reliant on you and being responsible for another human being is not a piece of cake. It's a piece of 'oh my god I can't do this'. You can. And everyday will get easier. Breath mummy.
You just grew and pushed out a mini Mitchell brother. There's nothing you can't do.
Except sleep.

Mummy Mumbles Report

Final score:

31points

POST

Michelle Brown 8 years ago

So true! I have 4 kids and with each them there was something new. I felt like I was the worst mommy in the world at times. But they are now 13, 10, 4 and 3. They all love me and I love them. It's not easy but you can do this!!

5points

View more comments

What do you think ?

Carries 8 years ago

Before reading this, I didn't want kids. After reading this, I really REALLY don't want kids.

Jeanne Deaux 8 years ago

I'm with you on this. I'll adopt a 10 years old who really wants to live under my supervision and learn from me while also teaching me things of his generation. 10 yo should be okay, right? I mean, they don't poop/pee in their pants anymore, they understand when you talk to them, they don't dribble erratically, they don't scream/cry just for the pleasure of annoying you. They don't, yes? Mmmh, okay, I think I'll take a guinea pig, that seems less dangerous. ^_^

Load More Replies...

Hans 8 years ago

I am a bit tired of "brutally honest" postings...why is it such a special thing to be open and name things as they are nowadays? If people (including me) do this on Bored Panda as a comment, you get tons of downvotes...if it is about a topic a majority feels noone is caring for their hardships, it goes viral and has endless likes. Do not get me wrong, I do not even judge the postings...it is just the "honest", and that even "totally", "brutally" or even "vitally", which has become a bit too much.

13points

What makes a post go viral? Simple keywords, no matter the content: baby, child(ren), puppy, kitten. Just put that somewhere in the title or presentation and you're off to buzz land.

Tiffany Marie 7 years ago

Yeah didn't want kids before this and now it makes me want to run down to Mexico to get my uterus cut out like I have been trying to do since I was 15.

2points

Load More Comments

Mom Shares Brutally Honest List Of 20 Things To Know After You’ve Pushed Out A Baby

Games

Deividas Jankauskas

Deividas Jankauskas

Word Search

WordroW

Jigsaw

Crossword

Sudoku

Picdoku

Killer Sudoku

Kriss Kross

Word Flower