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I Was Diagnosed With Schizophrenia At The Age Of 17, So I Started Drawing My Hallucinations To Cope With It
I have always been an ‘artist’, I just didn’t realize what that meant until my mental illness appeared. I despise the term ‘mentally ill’; it implies that who I am as a person is fundamentally corrupted and broken.
Unfortunately, as soon as I tell people what I struggle with, I feel like that’s all they see me as. They see the stigma perpetuated by the media, and the inaccurate stereotypes portrayed in Hollywood. That is precisely why I am so open about what I live with.
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My name is Kate and I’m an 18-year-old artist with schizophrenia
I’ve been ‘diagnosed’ with multiple labels over the years. At the age of 17 I finally was diagnosed with schizophrenia after my parents realized my mental health was getting worse
I draw a lot of my hallucinations as drawing helps me deal with it
In my hallucinations I hear voices, sound effects, random noises, and I often see bugs, faces, and disembodied eyes
Inanimate objects will look like a Van Gogh painting: warped and swirly.
I hallucinate bugs quite often, and my depression makes me feel worthless like a fly. These bug illustrations represent my illness
This is a quote by an artist named Jory, and it was something that spoke to me.
This one crawls out of the vent in my ceiling and makes clicking noises, or I’ll see it crawl out from underneath things
This is a self-portrait. I looked in the mirror and my eyes did this thing. I painted it
I have a lot of intense emotions, and hear voices telling me to light things on fire
Here is an example of the disembodied eyes I see. They surface in a mounds or masses on my walls or floors. They warp and move.
This is Birdie, she sings to me
My self esteem is at its lowest, and I feel insignificant. I always wish I could shapeshift into a “prettier” person
What eyes sometimes look like, with more of those odd colors and circles
Organization, communication, paranoia, depression, anxiety, and managing my emotions are the biggest struggles for me
What I live with isn’t easy and it can be debilitating, but I’m not living out on the streets screaming about alien abductions. That’s not to say there aren’t people out there who are that severe – there are. However, there are also people like me who just stay at home most of the time cooped up in their room. It is a spectrum of symptoms with varying severity levels. Each person’s experience is unique.
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Wezbie 7 years ago
I can't imagine what the world would look like through your eyes so thank you for sharing your story and your wonderful drawings! You are incredibly talented! Have you seen the TED talk by Eleanor Longden? I would highly recommend it if you are ever feeling alone in this. I hadn't really seen a lot of people with schizophrenia talking about it and just like with your post, her talking about it helped me understand it all a little better :)
Ok Ha-Neul 7 years ago
i watched the video. those were the most well spent 14 minutes of my life. i wish you well
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John L 7 years ago
My uncle has schizophrenia, and as it was gaining on him, he described it to me once. Its like being in a base universe, with countless ones buzzing in and out, and you can't stop it. He has totally isolated himself, and everyone doesn't understand. But its because he doesn't want others to see him that way. I totally empathize with you dear. Bless you!
Max Stern 7 years ago
Good post and definitely one of the ways I see it. And ditto on the isolation. No one with a severe disorder wants to have even friends and loved ones perceive them as having become "other". Which is harsh because even after a break we are still us. Almost No One seems able to understand that.
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Ellie Blazer 7 years ago
I'm 19 and have schizophrenia as well; I can definitely say drawing and painting helps immensely when dealing with hallucinations, it turns something horrifying into something beautiful, and I know I wouldn't be able to cope with my illness without art. Your drawings are incredible, and I feel much less alone because of your post- Thank you
Matthias Plunkett 7 years ago
I love your work and the spirit in which it was created. Thanks for sharing. On a slightly odd side note, long ago when I was considerably younger, I had an LSD trip that turned pretty horrible (Understatement of my life) The reason I mention it is that I saw things very much like the mounds and masses with eyes. They called themselves Umpsquamadic Peels - Google it, I've done my own things with them. Maybe you will see a common aspect or two? It was often said by the late Terence McKenna, that the shaman of a tribe would often be the schizophrenic who had the gift of vision, who could see things ordinary tribe members couldn't. It's just that society lost something when these gifted people were no longer seen as valuable. I see a person with the gift to express things that ordinary people do not see and I commend your artistry.
Shaker Al-otaiby 7 years ago
You are a beautiful person, you deserve all the happiness in the world; i wish you a fast recovery from all this, thank you for sharing, and we are here for you.
Jamie Beck 7 years ago
Thank you for sharing your story and your art. For only 18, you seem incredibly brave and self-aware. I hope your courage helps other people who are in your shoes, and reaches the greater audience to promote a better understanding of these types of conditions. Stigma continues to hamper all kinds of progress when it comes to illnesses that affect the mind. People like you will help encourage dialogue and find solutions. ;-)
Susann Campbell 7 years ago
I also live with this abomination. In my case I couldn't tell anyone for fear of being locked away. Then one day I saw a D**k Cavett tell his story and I went in to the Doctor and told mine. I am now on medication for a number of things that help me some and others to help with depression that helps and then doesn't. I stay away from bad news stories and real life books unless they are funny. I started painting and drawing but not what I saw, (those I kept in my Journal) I painted pictures from pictures that calmed me or pictures that I took of nature . My heart goes out to you and you are so young for new treatments in medications that I know you will get better. You are beautiful and repeat that every time you don't feel that way and take a refreshing walk with a trusted member of the family , even if its only one block and turn around and come home. Never be alone with your DR.s Have mom or dad with you at all times . Even when you come of age! Feel better everyday!
Ellen Pitcole 7 years ago
Thank you. This is written with such a nurturing heart. excellent ideas
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Iapetos 7 years ago
Probably, but I don't know whether this comment is really helpful or not. If you were schizophrenic, would you rather like to deny your perceptions or would you rather accept them as "real"?
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Dan Hubbert 7 years ago
Thanks for sharing this it's a fascinating insight into the 'real' condition rather than the trite Hollywood trope that's always on show.
Lauren Lavigne 7 years ago
I could not even imagine what world you live in because of that. Don't look at it as a bad thing. Your different which means your unique and
Claudia Arevalo 7 years ago
I also have schizophrenia. I was diagnosed in my late 20s. It is a struggle few can understand. I am lucky that Haldol controls my symptoms and allowed me to get my MBA, work, become a mother, and eventually retire from a long, successful career. I pray others with this horrific disease can find equally successful medical help. Praying for you dear.
Bunnies are better!! 7 years ago
Thank you for helping us to understand more about what your condition is like. Your illustrations are beautiful
therealpixie 7 years ago
I've read comments telling you how you are "perfect" the way you are. I'd like to see those patronizing folks try to deal daily with what you have to go through, and see how "perfect" they think their life is then! Good luck, sweetheart. I promise, if you stay on your meds, it will get easier as you get into your thirties.
Porto DaMartinica 7 years ago
the fact alone that you aren't constantly terrified by seeing and hearing such things and not live in fear is amazing, plus the guts to speak out so openly and calmly about it, plus your talent, you are awesome. no idea if you ever gonna read this, but if your self esteem will reach one day a 10th of the one i and obvioulsy many other readers in here have for you, you'll be all set as far as that one side of your issue goes. i haven't the slightest clue of how to express my respect for you, really. Wish you well
Mgdme 7 years ago
Kate, I want to first thank you for sharing your story. It’s so very hard for other people to understand what schizophrenia is, let alone how it impacts a person’s life. Your self-portrait just floored me. It gives me a little clue how my sister feels in this world. It was only until recently that she was able to accept her diagnosis, and this has made a huge improvement in her life. Your acceptance so early, is incredibly brave and I believe will give you an advantage and a positive impact on your life going forward. You need to take those moments when they come along. My mother usually took care of my Sister’s needs, but when she passed, I was very unprepared to help her when her world would spun out of control. Part 1.
Tammy Chapman 7 years ago
God Bless You Mgdme. And May Peace, Love and Light guide your way in the years ahead.
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Helen Thomas 7 years ago
Wonderful art! And please reconsider your occasional wish to be "prettier". That's just a nonsense concept made up for people who don't have a mind of their own. You have a fine mind to be able to create such artwork. I hope you keep drawing and working with the schizophrenia. I'm 45 and have had depression on and off since I was a teenager. I've decided it's a life's work to get comfortable with the fact that some things knock me far harder than they seem to knock others. I love to immerse myself in art when I can. Oh yes, let other people help you if you can find the right people to help you - I've found it takes a while to discern who is helpful and who isn't.
Lauren Lavigne 7 years ago
You are special. God lives you for who you are. Weather you have what you have. (Forgot the name.) you are you. And your perfect the way you
Markus McCloud 7 years ago
You are far braver than I. Some of these images sends chills down my spine, and I only gazed upon them once. You, on the other hand, had the courage to revisit these hallucinations, some of them highly unnerving, long enough to make them into art. Thank you for showing me how you perceive the world.
Owen Miller 7 years ago
You are an absolute blessing, and your struggle is real, being able to express feelings and show the people how you perceive the world, to me, is what being a true artist is all about, you are unbelievably talented, and what you do is not only therapeutic to you but helps others maybe understand your world and for some, their own. As an artist myself, I feel that I view the world a bit differently, I see objects as shapes and colors and try to dissect the finite details, And when I put it on paper or canvas or when I look at someone else's work, I often wonder about the how and why, what are they thinking about when create the artwork, the uniqueness of every single piece is as inspiring as the person who created it. Keep being that inspiration, and God Bless you
Sue 7 years ago
This is very interesting. It is my impression that humans have the ability to sense their surroundings and the very sensitive have a creative brain that translates that to a kind of physical metaphors. Eyes= You are being watched. That kind of thing. Psychics tend to be either auditory, visual or they can even smell things, sometimes. Psychics just see the non threatening bits. The brain translates feelings a bit like a radio picks up frequencies, it has channels. If you are stressed and perhaps a high achiever who worries, it may pick "worry channels". Which is when scary, worried, anxious "vibes" get translated into physical things, voices, etc. It can't be blocked out. It's natural. It might change if the root cause changes. I suspect this, anyway. My best wishes.
Andy Horgan 7 years ago
I have schizophrenia, and it's horrible. props for getting through today. keep up the art, it's fantastic. never had a visual hallucination so i cant even imagine how scary that is. i used to describe it as like you've woken up in some wierd alternate dimension where all the things you thought you knew were suddenly wrong. but as the days go by i'm starting to belive it actually is all in my head (with a few wobbles now and then). stay strong! P.s i'm super jealous of your drawing skills
Magnus Wilson 7 years ago
I write about my hallucinations to cope, I can't draw worth a damn so it is easier for me to write. I would also make stories about them and put them in RPG games I would run to help remind me that they are not real.
Camila Silva 7 years ago
I had no idea. You are so talented. My aunt has schizophrenia and, well, I have to admit that I have never understand her. Thank you. You made me realize how hard, full of wonders and even scary her world might be. I dont think that people really understand this mental illness. Thank you, thank you. You are so extremly talented, beautifull and BRAVE. And god... young! You are my new idol in the world.
Olivia Kennett 7 years ago
Thank you for sharing with us! I certainly now have a better understanding of Schizophrenia thanks to your amazing art. I think we ought to encourage as many schizophrenic people as possible to do something like this- draw their hallucinations, because it helps people to actually see what can be an awful solitary experience, and seeing is believing and understanding. Keep up the good work and just so you know, you are brave, badass and beautiful! And Don't let your demons tell you otherwise!
Joey Wilson 7 years ago
Schizophrenia doesn't make you broken or obsolete. I believe that mental illness often co-exists with positive, unique traits.. I feel your ability to create art demonstrates this. You have a lot to offer the world, so hang in there, and don't let it overcome you.
Claire Lynch 7 years ago
Kate an 18 year old artist with schizophrenia who is beautiful. That was my thoughts when i read that first headline. Thank you so much for sharing your visual hallucinations. Some of them look scary and I hope drawing them helps. I hope you have more like the bird who sings. I have been a psychiatric nurse for 31years and this is a very powerful way to communicate what you are experiencing. It is fantastic That you are taking control of the illness and not allowing it to control you. Some people take years to do that and some people don't manage it. thank you so much Kate an inspiration to others. Good luck and i hope you have a happy life. Claire
Luc Mailloux 7 years ago
Thank you for sharing. Though I am not schizophrenic myself, one of my past best friends has schizophrenia and I've been present for intense psychotic episodes of others dealing with the delusions. The stereotypes and stigmas are often inaccurate, but I hope you realize these things are driven by fear, and not hate (although fear can develop into hate). And I'm not sure education can erase that fear due to the ways schizotypical behavior manifests itself. Knowing my buddy was experiencing a auditory hallucination (voices) turned my confusion into fear, so ironically and sadly, my education in psychology led to both the understanding of my friend's issues and the end of our friendship. :/
Lisa Jin 7 years ago
hello, that's sad. why did it end your friendship? Sorry but I'm not sure it's helpful to say that about behaviour - suggesting that stigma is justified generally feels rather upsetting. It's like racism - I'm not white and people might say Chinese people all do maths - if they said that and my friends just said that's prejudiced but I get your point, it's not helpful. I don't have the above conditions myself, but I dislike stigmas very much. I'm studying psychology too, but I found many psychologists to be more kind and understanding of things... can I ask what went wrong? I have heard people describe auditory hallucinations - can I ask why it turned confusion into fear? Thanks.
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Jana Montgomery 7 years ago
Wow...my heart bleeds for you. I am in the bottom of the pit myself, trying to fight the urge to end it all, once and for all...it is a fight, hour to hour, minute to minute, second to second. ...and nobody understands.
Tammy Chapman 7 years ago
PLEASE keep up the fight. Each second, every minute, every hour. Keep clawing your way up and that light will get closer. It has taken me 20 years of hell to escape that damn pit. But it is possible. I tried to do it for my family. I tried to do it for my daughter, who had to grow up with me being...well.....me. Now she's 22, married, and will be an RN by Christmas. It didn't work when I was trying to get better for other people because every day I knew I was letting them down. Four years ago I made up my mind that I wanted to stick around for a while, and I fought like hell to do just that. I found the right psychiatrist and meds. And I worked to retrain my mind. Finally, after 20 years of wanting to die, I WANTED to SURVIVE!!! I NEEDED to SURVIVE!!! I learned to rely on my mental abilities, and I was able to change some things. I wish you luck. Never Give Up!!! Keep Fighting!!! May Peace, Love and Light guide your way!!
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Diane Poulin 7 years ago
My granddaughter, 12, has recently been diagnosed as schizophrenic. She, too, is an artist...I think her counselor is on the right track with art therapy, but that is just the beginning. I wish you the best, Kate, and thank you very much for sharing.
Tiffany M. Valentine 7 years ago
As a mental health advocate, this will help a lot of people understand mental illness and how it's just as important as physical health. You are an inspiration.
Blue Berry-Wayleen 7 years ago
Your drawings are really fascinating. It makes me understand better what you can feel and go through and i think it's a big step towards being understood and considered, aknowledged by people not just as someone who's said to be 'mentally ill'. So keep drawing, keep showing the world what it feels like. I hope it helps you and reassure you. I'd like to follow your art somewhere, do you have DeviantArt maybe or a webpage?
Nathan Duval 7 years ago
Society is dumb and superficial yet it's influence feels strong. I think you are a lot stronger by opening up about your everyday experiences. You are someone I'd hope to meet someday...I wonder if Salvador Dali hallucinated. That would explain some s**t.
Anirudh Pratap Singh 7 years ago
I do t know what the world thinks ,I just wanted to share what I feel.I feel that you are not a Normal girl ,you are special ,you are an Inspiration for everyone,I really like your artwork and am looking forward for more .
Matt Brooks 7 years ago
I have schizoaffective disorder and I'm an artist. I can relate. Not with visual hallucinations, but paranoia, depression, etc. I followed you on IG and hope for the best in your endeavors. Good stuff! :)
Spike Robinson 7 years ago
You are beautiful. And significant. And I think that your art is absolutely transcendent and what a great way to cope. I, too, deal with the hell of low self-esteem, but I don't have hallucinations piled on top of it - you are a brave, brave woman, and today you have been my inspiration. I wish you the best!
Shruti Naik 7 years ago
Great decision to reach out and share. Hope more people follow your lead. The illustrations are beautiful.
kelly flower 7 years ago
ur strong for even dealing with this mental illness. I can't even imagine
Moises Barnes 7 years ago
Beautiful art Kate. I'm sorry that you have this condition. I hope for all the best in your life, keep shining and keep your head up :)
ann cordier 7 years ago
Very brave to help people understand mental health challenges through your art. I'm wondering if you drew similar creatures in your artwork before realizing that they were your hallucinations? Be strong and thanks for sharing. Peace to you😚
Happee Love 7 years ago
Girl, you don't need another person's beauty. You are as beautiful as you are now. Unique and special in your own way.
Jerry Bradford 7 years ago
I get the visions and all and I'm truly sorry you experience them.I think your courageous choice to turn them into art and share your story is an amazingly strong thing to do.As far as your self esteem and your wish to steal beauty,well you already are very beautiful.I do realize that anyone can lack self esteem,mine is low too.But seeing a rose that feels it's a weed.well that sucks because you deserve to experience the beauty that you are.I wish you the best and applaud your strength.
Kevin Stein 7 years ago
Your images are excellent...I would like to suggest posting them on something like Society 6.
Franziska G. 7 years ago
Wow.... shocking how many people with shizophrenia are around here.... best wishes to all of you. This looks extremely challenging and my own mental illness looks like a park walk in comparison.
Ellie Gill 7 years ago
Hi! I too was diagnosed with Scizophrenia, at the age of 16, im am artist also. I find it amazing that youre actually able to do artwork like this, my hallucinations are very different to yours and often cant find the capability to do the artwork I want to do. This is very inspirational and im glad youre able go do this, but im worried this glorifies this mental illness - which is the last thing we want to happen, this mental illness is not art, or an inspiration for beauty, its a horrible condition that makes it hard to even go day to day with. Im glad you are able to live and thrive from it in this way, but spare a thought for those thousands that cant
Sarah Hancock 7 years ago
There is nothing glorified about these illustrations. They are a snapshot of her reality--like any artist capturing their perception of reality. In no way does it minimize the experiences of others.
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Kirstie Schraf 7 years ago
You are really amazing. Don't let the glitches in your brain ever tell you otherwise! This is a really creative and splendid way to connect with the rest of us and let us in on your world. Thank you for bravely posting it!
Mehdi Iranii 7 years ago
I dont know on which part of the earth are you presently but you are a human ,you have life & you are one of the most unique soul ever. Not because you are already famous world wide but because you are dealing with such a phase,even brave enough to be creative about it on ways of expression. Takes gutts . Goodluck to you ,you wonderful woman. Best wishes ~Another soul like you ~ ( Probably )
Eric Trahan 7 years ago
Me too. Me and my mom..we can deal. we all can. Keep up your good lil self okay
Hazel Inch 7 years ago
I also was diagnosed I'm currently in therapy I'm soon to be turning 14. I hear voices and see things I've tried drawing them but im not the best artist. I also tried writing about it in songs or poems but I'm not very good at English and couldn't do that either. So I'm a bit stuck on what I can do
DancingToMyself 7 years ago
You are so sweet and sooo young! You can learn how to express yourself in the most amazing ways! You know that you're not alone. Your beautiful mind will help you to decide what's the best way possible to explain yourself. I'm sending love.
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Shehryar Khawar 7 years ago
The struggle is real, I understand. You are my hero. Keep on hanging in there. Bravo!
Kristi Zoebelein 7 years ago
Thank you for sharing these beautiful drawings and paintings! Love and hugs to you!
Shaker Al-otaiby 7 years ago
Oh, i forget to mention how incredibly talented of an artist you are as well 😊
Gautam Khatry 5 months ago
Can i use ur pictures for my assignment?i need to upliad it on insta.can i?
Felipe ORyan 3 years ago
I dont belive you have real Schizophrenia. At least I can't see it in your art.
Samson Eze 4 years ago
Read this years ago..just remembered it as I was writing a song about it and I decided to find this article again. It’s really tough and something ignored in My country.
Bluebell Rizzi 5 years ago
Good on you for being so honest about it. A friend of mine had something similar when she was younger, one of the things she saw was a fetus that floated above her bed. Would be so interesting to know the sciences behind all of it
Hayden Rae 5 years ago
I myself suffer from Psychosis, similar to your condition, but not so severe I assume, I see visions of a black mass shadow person with red eyes, sometimes it’s bright sometimes they are dark, it’s a really tall figure but always try’s to bland in with things, the voices I hear are like mummering, but trust me it’s gets to you, there have been times where I have lashed out at people telling them to speak up not realising it’s not them... I try to draw and write to distract myself from it all but it helps in a little way I suppose!
Engin Canan 6 years ago
country: turkey city: ankara / schizophrenia treatment. mr. erol tangut (ilm-i sayik) a knowledge (father's lineage and mother's lineage) tevbe-i sayik book
Engin Canan 6 years ago
schizophrenic kate, you turkey ankara erol sayik tangut and ilm-i sayik (ilm-i sayik)
Engin Canan 6 years ago
country: turkey city: ankara / schizophrenia treatment. mr. erol tangut (ilm-i sikik) a knowledge (father's lineage and mother's lineage)
Tim McGrath 6 years ago
I have a question, I hope you will answer. How do you know you have schizophrenia. If you saw someone draw things that resembled yours, almost to the same detail, could it be schizophrenia? My GF saw your article. I always tell her about my "experiences", but she pointed out that I was drawing things similar to someone who has schizophrenia. She's big into psychology, but for once, she was more interested that the things I was drawing were much like your drawings. Things that appear in a rainbow type color pattern, but things that are unnatural. Sorry to bother you with this. I know it may seem very strange. I drew a booklet of things I saw, that were just there, and then gone. She held up my pad to the screen and showed me a very similar drawing. SO, can two people who don't know each other, experience similar "hallucinations" I'm kind of amazed to be honest. Not like you can tell people you see things. I'm just babbling now. What are your thoughts.
Free Radical 6 years ago
It's not schizophrenia you have but demons around you. They are trying to to drive you crazy and to push you either to commit a suicide or to kill others. I've had this before. You can get rid of it do you go and see an Imam who knows to recite what they fall "ruqya". I seriously recommend you go to a nearest mosque and ask them about jinns and help you to get rid of it. Search about jinns in Islam on the Internet. You'll immediately realize what it is about. Good luck.
Shantal James 7 years ago
This is one of the most meaningful things I have seen this year... i don't actually know what to say. You have blown me away... the truth of it all is both mesmerising and terrifying... I'm stunned... thank you very much for sharing
Trip Conley 7 years ago
Your not alone in this I was diagnosed with Schizoaffective disorder so I too see and hear voices that tell me to do things but I also have Bipolar mood disorder as well so it makes me out of wack most of the time and leaving the house unless it sounds interesting is hard to do. I've ever gone to cutting myself to reflect be entertained. Finally for my senior project I wrote about mental health so people can fully understand that what it's really like to be diagnosed with the many disorders that are out there. I found that doing things I loved before I was diagnosed helps me like watching Star Wars or Batman and Funko Pops but people don't understand that it is difficult to live with this. Don't let your Schizophrenia get the better of you I know we are all different with how we deal with it but you are a pretty person if your religious then use that to help you.If you ever need to talk about it with someone who also has Schizophrenia then you can talk to me
Eva Huizinga 7 years ago
Thank you for your insight about your illness...you are a great artist and have a lot of courage!
José cruz y corro 7 years ago
I was diagnosed when I was 15, I know how painful this state of mind can be sometimes. Before I was diagnosed, I remember that I used to hurt myself and then forgetting about it, hearing noises and seeing things that just weren't there, remembering things differently, being depressed every day, all day. I just wanted to share this with you because, through your drawings I realized you are an amazing, beautiful person. Our minds can be difficult to live with, but I learned that they are also special since we experience things in a way no one else can, which of course can be horrible sometimes, but through those awful experiences, beautiful things such as your drawings can exist.
Zzz 7 years ago
Hi. I think some people are rude to people with mental problems just because they know nothing about it and others are just a******s. I didn't know much about it before I read "I morgen var jeg alltid en løve". I wish all people read it to understand this condition. You are brave and beautiful don't ever forget that, wish you all the best, sending bear hugs.
Leila Alban 7 years ago
Oh, my god! It's... something! This is the first time I can see what you, Kate, and people like you see. Please keep on sharing your wonderful (even scary) things you see. THANK YOU!
Kimberly Youngblood Julian 7 years ago
I see nothing but a beautiful, talented young lady with so much to give the world. Keep up the good work! Use your art and the gift you've been given to help others who experience the challenges of schizophrenia.
Tom Vendel 7 years ago
Amazing. U inspired me to draw the beings i've seen too. I started seeing weird entitys like your drawings after smoking dmt. The craziest thing about it is is that i'm sure they're real. In a mind frequence dimension or something. Anyway, a few of them were strangly part of me, like aspects of me. And some went away after fully accepting them. Its out of this world for some, but its pretty obvious that people gonna have to wake up from whats out there
Mandy Martinez 7 years ago
Wow, you are a great artist! Thanks for sharing, keep it up! Also, in the comments there is talk of a video....? Was it taken off maybe? I don't see it...
Clayton Johnson 7 years ago
I hate to tell you. I don't think this is schizophrenia. I think you completely lack the same receptors that LSD shuts off. It's rare but it happens.
Mei Godschild 7 years ago
You are brave! See if you like http://facebook.com/3in1GodChangesUs.
Narda Wakoluk 7 years ago
You wondrous being...sharing your world-view is so very important to everyone else becoming evolved. Thankyou for sharing. :)
Rochelle Jameson 7 years ago
Thank you. The lightening 's' as in the band acdc or kiss, is satanic occult symbolism. The Messiah and upside down cross also. I am so concerned that your torment is from "the dark side". It doesn't want you to know that Jesus is much more powerful. Can you try saying "in Jesus name be gone" or "by the blood of the lamb you have no authority here." Or anything along those lines. My heart goes out to you.
Cynthia Bethea 7 years ago
You are a beautiful person, inside and out. The illness in your brain is not anything you can control. While your art is amazing and helps you cope, I would strongly suggest that you seek a medication that will enable you to suffer less and get out more. They will have side effects, so be your own advocate and learn about the different formulations, efficacies, and side effects. Try until you find one that achieves the best results for you and the good outweighs the bad. You do not have to suffer like this. Best regards
Vladimir Tiltu 7 years ago
please just don't get caught by this "wave". If this is your photo, you don't seem to have major problems. You re right, in this case it is not exactly an illness, it is a state. Your drawings express a good and very talented hand. But the reality is not that bad, I would say there is nothing more romantic than reality :)
Bert Arnett 7 years ago
I am 45 and have schizophrenia. Not as visual as yours, mine more aural but keep up the good fight young lady. Never let anyone tell you you are not worth it. I understand the struggle and your drawings are great :) Much love to you and may your life be blessed with people who care.
Elena Gadeva 7 years ago
You are really talented, keep up with you art.It helps not only sharing your feelings but be who you really are and feel good about it. I surely can't feel what you feel but I've felt the power of art and the positive influence that it has on me, even in the hardest moments of inner struggle with myself.
John Dermitzakis 7 years ago
First thing I thought after looking at your drawing and reading what you wrote was I wanted to hug you of course I can't exactly understand what you have to go trough every day but suffering from a constant urge to harm others I know how exhausting it can get so the best thing I can do through the internet is say don't allow it to break you and because I liked your drawings here you go I think it is fitting at least some verses :P (because I know people are gonna b***h no I'm not trying to hit on you through the net) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=unzSe-36sSE
Matt Hensley 7 years ago
i loved your article and your art. I wish i had your talent. I too suffer from the same affliction as you. I spent many many years being misdiagnosed. I'm 39 now and i wasn't officially diagnosed with Schizophrenia until i was nearly 26. And, as i'm sure your well aware of yourself, it was no picnic all those years of not knowing what was going with me. And why i couldn't find anything that really seemed to help. But i have always been somewhat of "doodler". But even at my best times I don't have the talent as you have. It was suggested to me by a doctor to try basically the same thing you do. But i've never been able to really put to paper (to my satisfaction, anyway) what all is going on in my head. Or the things i see. But seeing your drawings and reading the captions you put with them is awesome. I can literally feel where your coming from. Its a new and a little weird feeling. I wish you nothing but the best in the future. And thank you so much for sharing
Terry Johnson 7 years ago
A heart-breaking illness but the beauty and brilliance within you shine through in your artwork! Be well!
Ulises Folh 7 years ago
Love the bird. And when you are feeling "insignificant" don't wish that you felt different. FEEL IT for as long as it is there. The universe is not in a constant state all the time. Sooner or later this feeling will have to go. Whether you like it or not.
Ulises Folh 7 years ago
When a voice inside of you tell you to set things on fire, why take it literally? Fire transforms things from one state to another. Maybe you can change the world around you. Not necessarily burn it.
Annie Waters 7 years ago
I really like your art work, your style is unique and engaging. have you thought about exhibiting? Wishing you your wishes.
Stavan Parikh 7 years ago
Hello Kate, I can really get what you hv been going through. I hv a similar story like you, being labelled with many mental illnesses before I was diagnosed with social anxiety. You are really beautiful girl. And through your sketches I can really see that you are extremely talented. I would like to say sincerely that you are a gift in this world, just fight against all odds and trust me you will be able to get the life you want.
Desmond Miles 7 years ago
I think if I tried drawing mine, it would make it slightly more difficult to ignore...
Michelle Faith 7 years ago
My husband has schizophrenia as well, more severe than yours. I would love to reach out to you and maybe help in anyway that I can. Please look me up on facebook. https://www.facebook.com/guineapigs87
Julie Gilbert 7 years ago
Dear Katie, you are a very very good illustrator. May I suggest an on line distance art course. You would be excellent and it could be a fantastic career that you could persue from home if you would prefer that. Regards Julie Gilbert xx
Daniela Ciman 7 years ago
Thank you for sharing this. This is so beautiful. My late brother had schizophrenia and this has helped me to see more of what he was going through. A beautiful soul is so much more important than a beautiful face:) always remember that. You are beautiful inside regardless of how you look on the outside. You have made my soul happy today, by sharing this, I really feel that is why we were blessed with people with schizophrenia, to keep us present and aware of what the soul feels, sees and needs as soul food.
Sandrine Hervé 7 years ago
Your art is truly inspiring. It's just sad that people will judge you negatively because of that and claim it's god gift or satan work. It not the best way to raise awareness, it just scares people even more... truly not everyone is as strong as you. Keep up and I hope it helps you feel better!
Chris Calkins 7 years ago
Kate, thanks for your courage in putting this out into the world. There is a new student group starting at Penn State called Students With Schizophrenia, their founder is Cecilia McGough and I know she would be open to talking with you if you ever want to connect. Here is a link to the groups facebook page. https://www.facebook.com/studentswithschizophrenia/
Fox Hardy 7 years ago
I love how all of the Religious fanatics come out of the woodwork to tell someone who has a mental illness with hallucinations that Jesus and God is real 😂😂😂😂. Religious or not that just sounds ridiculous. Her hallucinations are more realistic...they've actually been seen by someone. Faith healing people with schizophrenia is a HORRIBLE idea. They are often hyper-focused on religion and base many of their actions on what their delusions and hallucinations tell them to do. So if one day she decided to kill a bunch of babies because God, angels, doves, or Jesus told her to do it you a******s would feel pretty damn stupid. Oh wait it has happened. A mother of 8 killed her children because of a dove told her to and she took it as a sign from God. https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.brisbanetimes.com.au/queensland/schizophrenia-at-its-very-depths-drove-mother-to-kill-eight-children-20170503-gvyf42.html
Vicki Henderson 7 years ago
Wow Kate, you are incredibly unique! I empathize with you and your struggle with Schizophrenia. This illness is in my family and my sister always talks about bugs being in her ears and I see how my mother often feels interrogated by these voices that speak to her and seeing lightning fly across a room, to me these are definitely highly perceptive sensory development unexplained things that occur to many which cannot be explained. Much love to you Kate, keep up your artwork, your inspiring many who are struggling, I'm very certain of that. Bless you!
Night Angel 7 years ago
Girl, your gorgeous. I don't pretend to know how you feel. The struggle is real. Way to make your struggles into something beautiful
George Boorer 7 years ago
Have you tried doing other things like hobbies , sport, gardening. Even if you dont feel like it. It will help you crawl your way out of this depression
Grant Allen 7 years ago
You are beautiful and your artwork is wonderful. You also seem very intelligent. Thanks for sharing your work. Hope your day is going well!
Richard Lawson 7 years ago
Brilliant art, great writing. Inspiration to others living with schizophrenia. Thanks.
Byron Bright 7 years ago
I have schizoaffective disorder and I have to deal with hallucinations as well. Most of mine are auditory hallucinations and those are bad enough, but the visual hallucinations can be the worst. Thankfully my meds keep a lot of these away now. I still hear voices quite a bit and I also deal with the low self-esteem and self worth, or lack thereof. I sincerely hope you can find some relief from it, because I know it can be hell. A very lonely hell. Much love to you.
Tommie Wilhite 7 years ago
I want to thank you, my 45 year old daughter is schizophrenic, and your pictures help me to understand what she cannot or will not explain.
Auraiam Dasep 7 years ago
These are lovely paintings and illustration, keep making more. I see it as your muse speaking to you. Excellent work.
Polaris Garfield 7 years ago
Thank you. You are a beautiful and brave young artist. I agree with a lot of your feelings regarding the term "mental illness" and the loss of personhood a diagnosis often causes. Your life has value, especially to the memory of those who lost their freedom or their lives to schizophrenia. It sounds like your folks are supportive & loving, too, which is such a blessing. Thanks again for sharing your art. There are many galleries that would be thrilled to support you, too!
Polaris Garfield 7 years ago
You are a beautiful and brave young artist. Thank you. I agree with a lot of your feelings about the label "mental illness" and the loss of personhood a diagnosis can cause. Your life is valuable, especially to the memory of those who lost their lives or freedom to schizophrenia.
Elena Nakovska 7 years ago
You are beautiful more than you can understand, so when you feel insignifficant, read this! It' s amazing what you experience and even though it seems quite difficult to deal with the negativeness, it is incerdibly creative! Hang in there and thanks for sharing! Elea- violinist
Dag Kristoffersen 7 years ago
Awesome that you have found such a positive way of expressing and processing your experiences. I wish you all the best!
Dag Kristoffersen 7 years ago
It is so awesome that you have found such a positive way to express and process your experience. I wish you all the best!
Slava Chemodanov 7 years ago
Your drawings are amazing! Also you are quite beautiful so you don't have to steal anyone else's
Richard Austen 7 years ago
This is frankly terrifying. Constant hallucinations of the images you have drawn is like living in a constant horror movie. I have only had one hallucination when I was about 8 and had the Measles and saw giant blue balls chasing me - fever of 103 etc. I am 43 and remember it to this day and that was just a one off experience. To have walls moving and weird spidery things coming out of the ceiling. I don't know - we need to triple the number of scientists working on this stuff and working triple shifts. It's as if something has hijacked the imagination center of the brain and made a wrong connection to the visual and other sensory parts of the brain.
The Great Fox 7 years ago
Can I write to you. I think I can relate pretty well. Sorry to bother if you want to be left alone though.
Andrew Moore 7 years ago
A Canadian psychiatrist named Abram Hoffer found a temporary cure for schizophrenia via Niacin over 50 years ago. There's a documentary called, "Feed Your Head" (2010).
Ben Petersen 7 years ago
Kate, I host a D&D group and I had 2 thoughts about your situation. First, I was thinking your hallucinations would actually make great monsters for D&D for players to battle against, which led to my second thought which was, that may be a possible therapeutic solution for you. Just a thought, maybe it's good, maybe it's complete c**p. I would like to talk with you about it sometime, however, if you are up for it.
Arrshie Singh 7 years ago
oh dear you are so gorgeous and so positive, what lovely work of art. Stay blessed
Ella Sherman 7 years ago
That would scare the c**p outta me. She is so brave and smart and wonderful at drawing. I'm glad she could find something to cope
Kimberly Cline 7 years ago
Your art is truly amazing. I hope you can continue to use it as a means to help people better understand schizophrenia and mental illness.
Kimberly Cline 7 years ago
The stigma that many times comes with mental illness needs to be erased and I applaud people like yourself who are honest and help otherssee
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Mary Collaco 7 years ago
I just wanted to say that you are very beautiful and very talented .. and it hurts that he did that to you.. unfortunately people are like that and it was not your fault..
Miss MonMon 7 years ago
You are very talented. Thanks for showing this through your art. It gives me a better understanding. Some of the eye drawings are very similar to my artworks, which is spooky.
Teri Shaw 7 years ago
Thank you for sharing! My son developed schizophrenia at age 17 and has been unable to share what he deals with on a daily basis. I agree, the stigma is prevalent, but as you share your experiences, people will begin to understand the reality of this serious illness. Keep moving forward.
Jo-Ann Innes 7 years ago
I have a friend who struggles w it. Thanks to your sharing your story, I feel like I can understand alittle better, what he deals with
Kimberly Grau (Red Moth Art) 7 years ago
You're quite a pretty lady,so don't feel bad! It's also really nice to see how you quantify your illness through art. It's a way to connect to the world, even if we all don't understand it. On a more personal note, I have to say, that it's comforting how you acknowledge what you have, but still are not held down by it. I wish my family members whoa also suffers from mental illness would be more open like that. It would really help them and everyone around them. Oh well, dare to dream. :-) Great job and inspiring story.
Tari Anne Kareidis 7 years ago
I can't imagine what a horror it must be to live with schizophrenia. My heart goes out to you. I love your artwork and I'm glad you are able to find an outlet. I wish you every blessing.
Mindi Oakes 7 years ago
Hi Kate. I wish you lived near me. I would be a friend. My brother was once diagnosed as Schizophrenic because at that time medical "wisdom" believed that only schizophrenics have hallucinations. I later discovered that my parents, my brother, and I ALL have different forms of bipolar disorder. My brother had hallucinations, couldn't deal with side effects of all the "wrong" meds, and eventually put himself out of his misery. I constantly have to resist the same urge. I struggle with most of your emotional problems too. I applaud you for being public and I hope you don't have to stay in your solitude more than you want to. God bless you. You ARE one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen, in case you can't tell. Your artworks are very attractive to me. I wish you a happy life. Please let me know if I can ever help you.
Caroline dial 7 years ago
mercancía no inserta un número de calorías, sin embargo, desencadena una reacción robusta junto con las sustancias químicas que se materializan para estar ahora en el cuerpo.
Guillaume de Bassompierre 7 years ago
I read a wonderful autobiographic illustrated novel written about the childhood memories of a man whose brother suffered from acute Epilepsia. It's not quite the same as schizophrenia, obviously, but his treatment of how the illness affected his brother and his relationship with the world is something that could probably touch you. The fact that it is beautifully illustrated makes it all the more poignant. Here's a link to its English translation (originally written in French). Hope you enjoy it: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epileptic_(comics)
John Clarke 7 years ago
Really great to see how you are finding your own unique path through the mire and even better that we get to see your artwork - I love it.
John Clarke 7 years ago
Great to see how you are finding your own uniquely creative way through the mire and what a bonus for me and many others that you are prepared to share your artwork.
Алексей Костин 7 years ago
it was so interesting to see world through your mind. I remember professor Nesh who had same diagnose. It doesn't stop him to learn mathematic and receive Nobile award. I hope you will be ok.
Brandyce LeeAnne 7 years ago
I think you're drying should be in an art display. I hope they put you on antidepressants I have bipolar and they help me a lot. Therapy I also helped and talking with my friends and family. I don't want you to live your life cooped up yes it is in illness and yes you have to deal with it just like I do with mine. You are already an artist and a public speaker so your illness has helped you to figure out who you are and the best outlet for you is a form of therapy not just for you but for many many others because you shared your story. By the way my favorite pictures are the bird and the redeye I would buy those in an art gallery. You are a beautiful person inside and out thank you for sharing your story it touched my heart 😊
Susan Young 7 years ago
You seem to have a real handle on your illness and that's probably why you are the master of your life. I don't want to make light of this awful illness, but have you ever had a "good" hallucination? Wouldn't it be great if you thought you saw thousands of butterflies come out of your ceiling vent? I've never heard of any schizophrenic having a benign hallucination.
Melody Hunter 7 years ago
I'm so sorry about how you saw yourself in the mirror. Your picture is absolutely gorgeous. You are very beautiful. Don't let anyone tell you different. God bless you.
MaddySquidCat 7 7 years ago
yOU'RE BEAUTIFUL MY GIRL, YOUR ART IS AMAZING I WISH I COULD DRAW LIKE THAT! :(
Steve Shagwell 7 years ago
This is what strength looks like. You kinda made my day. Keep persevering
Lisa Naomi Herrmann 7 years ago
Your drawings are amazing, YOU are amazing for sharing this! You are beautiful, I wish you all the best <3
John Beardsley 7 years ago
when I was college age in the 60's I had two friends who developed schizophrenia. Two of the best and brightest. you seem to be handling if amazingly well. God speed.
John Beardsley 7 years ago
When I was college age I had two friends develop schizophrenia. two of the best and brightest. you seem to be handling it much better than they were able to. God speed to you.
Robert Wood 7 years ago
This was something I knew existed but this has helped me understand what the condition is like. I have had hallucinations when I was younger but not in a while. Thanks Kate, please keep up the art work.
Lisa Finlay 7 years ago
You are beautiful and so is your artwork. Thank you so much for telling others what your world is like.
Cathie Warboy 7 years ago
First of all, I need to say that before I even looked beyond your photo to any of your art, I told myself what a pretty young woman you are. I am so sorry that you, and others, go through this. I haven't seen the TED talk that Wezbie referenced, but I will be sure to do so. Bless you all.
Shmarya Rosenberg 7 years ago
You're a *very* talented artist and what you've done by posting your art and writing here is very important. It will help many people. Please consider expanding this into a graphic book or even a series of posts like this one. Thank you so much for sharing this with us.
Tevna Tayler 7 years ago
Hi Kate, I think it is really cool that you are drawing what you see and sharing it :-) I'm a naturopathic physician who has suffered from depression most of my life - suicidal when I was your age - and I just wanted to tell you that I learned in naturopathic medical school (from which I graduated at age 41, after doing other things with my life first) that brain symptoms, just like other symptoms, can be due to genetic metabolic issues and schizophrenia is often associated with disorders of vitamin metabolism, often the B vitamins, and some fats, among other things related to minerals and other vitamins. I am not practicing right now, and I don't remember details, but I wanted you to know that there are tests to find the metabolism oddities and specially formulated supplements of vitamins and amino acids and fats that can get around the metabolic deficiency so that the body can absorb them. Homeopathy is also extremely effective for treating schizophrenia, as it is with many things.
Eileen Broughal 7 years ago
I think she is a very strong and brave woman. Keep drawing . Keep safe and may God Bless you.
Eileen Broughal 7 years ago
I think she one of it the bravest women I have read about. God Bless you and may he keep you always safe
Nadine Beaudin 7 years ago
I really am in my own bubble and hearing about your life experiences help me see a bit better. I wish you the best and hope you are able to live your life the best you can
Lorin Jenis 7 years ago
I was diagnosed with Paranoid Schizophrenia in 1995. I visited four different mental hospitals that year. I soon learned that if I behaved in a completely "normal" way outwardly, no matter what chaos occurred in my mind, I could stay out of the hospitals. I was an outpatient at a county mental health clinic until this year. At first I took 800 mg. a day of Seroquel, but by 2016 took only 200 mg. a day. Individual and group therapy helped me, but I received the greatest benefit from a course in computer technology at a local community college. I graduated with two certificates in computer repair and networking and set up a home business with more than 100 faithful clients. Computer technology forced me to use my mind in a completely different way than I did when I "saw" and "heard" things. I had to focus, think, and calculate, not just daydream. I also write and express my subjective side, but now I am free from drugs and psychiatrists.
Carl Horton 7 years ago
She does not need to shape shift into a "prettier person" she is already a very beautiful young lady, and an extremely talented artist ! On a personal note, I found this article incredibly useful as I am a student mental health nurse and I often have difficulty trying to visualise what a patient's hallucinations look like when they are talking with and trying to describe them. This is a very valuable insight
Lisa Mahaffey 7 years ago
Most people recover - some people completely recover, most have some voices or visions all their life but they are manageable. Your work is really wonderful - use it to understand what those visions are telling you - (not literally). Check out Eleanor Longdon's TED talk and the Hearing Voice Network. Also look for work by Larry Davidson. Schizophrenia is doesn't have to rule your world. Thanks for talking about it!!
Ailish Riain 7 years ago
everything has consciousness - and i believe you are in touch with that. and your picture of the fly with the flowers - you don't need to steal anyone''s prettiness because you are your own prettiness - in fact you are a "Kate shaped beauty." take your lemons and make lots and lots and lots of different flavoured lemonade.
Barrie Collins 7 years ago
Like your work. As an artist I've always felt on the edge of society, so that I've come to regard myself as normal and all the 'strights' as mentally ill.
Sarah Hancock 7 years ago
I love your artwork. I understand the shimmering, swirling of a "blank" wall, ceiling, or floor. The bugs came under extreme stress. I could only describe it to others as endless multiple streams of roaches --like in "Men in Black" when he kicks the trash can and they all come pouring out. I was lost for 12 years I was lost. Trapped in the world of schizophrenia. Like you, I felt alone. Helpless. Hopeless and stigmatized. Gratefully that is not the case any more. The first step was finding a peer support specialist to act as a mentor through this wild world. She taught the tricks of the trade. My life is amazing now. You are just at the very beginning of your journey. Keep drawing, keep learning and hold onto the hope that things can and will get exponentially better. I'm the evidence. You can hold tightly to my hope until you find your own. You are not broken. You are not crazy. http://www.nauvootimes.com/cgi-bin/nauvoo_column.pl?number=102915&author=sarah-hancock#.WPmYE_dlDqA
Benita Abel 7 years ago
I admire your strength of character Kate, to openly tell the world about what happens in your illness. The world is very judging in how it views these type of illnesses however if more people like you would explain what it is like in reality instead of movies it surely would change people's point of view.
Caroline Wiley 7 years ago
You are beautiful.......it would be awesome to show you through my eyes!! You are gorgeous, strong, smart to be able to handle life as it's been given you! God bless Dear heart.💐💐
Caroline Wiley 7 years ago
Beautiful young lady....I wish I could show you that beauty through my eyes..💐💜......gorgeous. I salute you for your strength and bravery. God bless you dear!💐
lemontzz aide 7 years ago
Love your stuff! You are so talented & its great that you can give your experience visual expression, to help others understand what you haveto cope with! Thanks for sharing! Good luck to you
Jeanne Pittion 7 years ago
I don't know if you will read this. Usually, I never leave a comment but your article touched me. I can't really explain, I just felt. I was reading and thinking "I have so much things I would tell to her". First, you are not alone. I had big problems and I know a little what it is to have hallucinations. Unfortunately, we don't come from the same country, I'm sure we would have been friends. I wish you the best, you look amazing.
Mikaela Hyland 7 years ago
You're doing great :) My dad has schizophrenia and is leading a mostly functional and happy life now, but at your age and until around 35 he really struggled. The media completely warps things and that makes it even harder on those who have it. It's brave and genuinely helpful to open up to the world about your experiences. Keep breaking stereotypes and kicking a*s :)
Annette Schmidt 7 years ago
Bless your heart, and Thank you for putting yourself out there, on behalf of all those coping with the same, to simply describe what you experience. Removing the fear is the first step to being understood.
Þórir Óskarsson 7 years ago
Wow, really beautiful, thank you for sharing ! These artworks really spoke to me on a deep level
Magnus Wilson 7 years ago
I write about my hallucinations to help me, I often put them in RPG games I run to remind myself that they are not real.
Beatrix Kiddo 7 years ago
Thank you. I am sure by sharing your story and your art you have touched many. Your art especially touched me. My son has schizophrenia. He is 30. It seems a little more extreme than what you have described. Your pictures have helped me to understand what I was imaging he sees is not nearly as scary as what he actually sees. I am in awe of your talent and strength.
Steven Whittaker-Jones 7 years ago
You don't need to shapeshift Kate, you couldn't be more beautiful than you are already. I love the artwork and wish you well in dealing with your schizophrenia.
Zeenat Karim 7 years ago
Learning from the articles or documentaries on this significant condition, I always felt very sympathetic for those enduring it consistently and only imagined their feelings. But seeing your paintings is such a deeper insight, a direct perspective through your eyes. You're extremely brave to be forthcoming & sharing your thoughts. And ofcourse a very talented artist too.
Devon Rubicco 7 years ago
My mind is like yours my love. You are not alone. I'm here if you ever actually see this post.
Charlotte Murphy 7 years ago
It takes a confident person to share that kind of story, which you live everyday. I am glad i read this it puts things in perspective, it is nice to see that you channel it into your art work which shows that your are very talented. I think it is wrong that people are labelled 'mentally ill' as this is part of your life it is part of who you are it does not define you as a person. I am glad you shared your art work as it is brilliant, don't feel like you should hide away from the world as people would be glad to have you in there life as you are an inspiration to me and many others. x
Christopher LoGiudice 7 years ago
You are so beautifu inside and out. An asset for anyone that gets to have you in their life. Stick to your guns!
Fear staoir 7 years ago
Moved me. I replied with my first article on this site..... hope it doesn't take anything away from the power of this post. I was inspired :) Hils from Fear Staoir
Linda Eff 7 years ago
My dear, I am a therapist who has worked with people with schizophrenia for many years. They're brilliant, straight up, honest, and can lead full lives. Medication, advocacy, and, honesty will get you far. You're so young-18. Your brain hasn't fully developed to the point of learning how to handle all emotions. Judgment/decision making doesn't kick in until about 20. Give yourself time to grow, etc.. Have you ruled out ptsd? Because ptsd symptoms can complicate things. Baring that, you have your whole life ahead of you. Schizophrenia is a managebale condition..just like diabetes. If I eat to much sugar, I'll go hay wire. If I have schizophrenia and take my medication, and use excellent coping skills, and spend some time empowering, rather than knocking myself, I'll be in a better place. Beautiful way to cope. You have your whole future ahead of you, and it will be brilliant, work on the self esteem. Be happy, embrace yourself, your hallucinations are a part of who you are. One part.
Shane Blackwell 7 years ago
Excellent expression, amazing technique and super talented, not to mention brave. Thank you for showing your strength.
Michelle Boyle 7 years ago
Thank you for sharing your story and artwork....You are very talented! I have heard that many with Schizophrenia do extremely well on Homeopathy.....I suggest if you would like to try this, that you find a qualified classical Homeopath.
Pille Varmann 7 years ago
Just continue doing that. These pictures are very capturing and you've found a wonderful tool for yourself.
Ricardo Puyana 7 years ago
Thanks for sharing your story, I suffered from an anxiety disorder and it let me to have a really dificult time until I knew what it was an was able to controll it, I just hated that my mind played with my fears making them seem so real so I can only imagine what you must feel. Hope you know you are not alone and are a very talented person who makes the world better.
Sondre Strøm Linde 7 years ago
Pretty interesting stuff. And scary. One thing tho, you are worthless like a fly. Just like every other living thing. We are worthless, the existence is worthless. It's ok.
Sandra Thompson 7 years ago
You are a beautiful , STRONG young woman , very talented , now on my mind and in my prayers !
stuart crawford 7 years ago
This is fascinating. I have had fairly severe paranoia in the past where my reality has become completely warped. Having things appear to you as halluciantions must be an overwhelming and frightening thing to deal with. I hope sharing has helped you cope with things a little easier. Great work.
Ashley Babcock 7 years ago
I love your art! Where can I see more? You should sell prints on Etsy or something.
Kavya Sudhakar 7 years ago
Actually, even I see, hear and feel things which are not physically present. Till now I never realized itt may become serious.. I've just learnt to make peace with it. It's not scary always but it creeps the hell out of me. I shout out scared and yes, I too see a lot of bugs. Thanks for sharing your story Kate.
Carly Roper 7 years ago
I would really really love to have a conversation with you! You're not crazy, you're special. People were born like this b4 the diagnosis and were revered. It would be awesome to pick such an amazing mind, and maybe connect with someone who's similar to me in a way I haven't really spoken to anyone else about.
Mark Teeter 7 years ago
I had the same issues. Here's my art if you're interested www.lionwolfenganger.deviantart.com I think a lot of people aren't diagnosed but have the same problems.
Mark Teeter 7 years ago
I did the same with the same issues as you. Here's my art if you're interested www.lionwolfenganger.deviantart.com I think there's a lot of un-diagnosed people with these same things
Laura Mish 7 years ago
This was such an interesting article. Thank you for sharing something so private. You are very brave and seen much more mature than 18 years old. Your pictures are fascinating to me. The brain works in mysterious ways. Did the doctor ever say what is going on in your brain that causes such terrible hallucinations? Does the medication help them to occur less frequently? I empathize with seeing the things that you do. You just be terrified at time. Again, thank you for sharing. You are a beautiful unique human being and I'm sure there are many who can learn from you.
Joe Bowie 7 years ago
as someone who has a less severe case of schizophrenia, you have given me hope that i can too can cope with this and i hope you know you mare not alone in this fight. You never know who you can have an effect on, so keep pursuing your art and dont let this disease conquer you, idk if i like calling this a disease but idk what else to call it, maybe a higher state of consciousness i still dont know. but in the words of cat stevens, im on the road to find out
Abb Kapoor 7 years ago
This was amazing. Your art is truely spectacular. Thank you for sharing!!
Carolyn Hehir 7 years ago
You are courageous and beautiful. Please continue to share your talents with the world. Thank you for making me understand and for being a voice for those that suffer from this .
Carolyn Hehir 7 years ago
God bless you, kid. Your work is amazing. Please continue to share it with the world. You are helping so many people who are misunderstood and have no voice. You are courageous and beautiful.
Alex Knight 7 years ago
You are a brave and beautiful and talented young woman. Thank you for sharing your story. My heart goes out to you.
Alex Knight 7 years ago
You are a brave and beautiful and talented young woman. Thank you for telling your story, and my heart goes out to you.
Debe Callihan 7 years ago
I lived in an apartment building many years ago, and had a friend on the third floor...for a few years we were friends, until I moved. Sometimes she would open the door to say it wasn't a good time to visit. Over time, she let me know why...She had Schizophrenia. I respected her need to be alone when she didn't "feel right", and when she was "better", we played cards or went shopping. She was a good person, but kept a small, understanding, circle of friends.
Ian David Taylor 7 years ago
Your amazing, Love your art.. The Messiah, i drew ones kinda similar to it.. I see alot. Constant, unpredictable morphing faces & countless whispers. cope with the art mostly, n piano and photos. i try treating it like a game. My instas @iantaylors if u wanna c
Kawaii Lemon 7 years ago
I don't have schizophrenia, but I have mild depression (Or at least it feels like it) and I often feel like I need my friends there for me, but I can only see them once a week, so I made two imaginary friends, so we're a trio, like Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup. Kyou is Buttercup, Haru is Bubbles, and I'm meant to be Blossom, but less smartish
Isabelle Gray 7 years ago
You are a wonderful my gifted young lady. I feel he struggles as olive with severe depression that has at times made me hullicinate.its horrible and scary. I really wish you everything wonderful in ur life and sending u so much love.thankyou for being you and raising g awareness xxx
Zakiyah Gray 7 years ago
This hurt my heart. I feel for you. You are very brave, talented, and beautiful. Please know this.
Scott Randall 7 years ago
It is very brave of you to share your artwork. I found it very moving. You are a strong and beautiful person. Please keep sharing.
Yamil Perez 7 years ago
The most important thing as a person in your mental state is that you can always recognize the difference between good and evil. Your mind will sink into a deep state of darkness and you may see all kinds of horrible things and sometimes you may also question your own conscience. Never allow your mental state to question your conscience. You still have the free will to be a good person. That's something that the schizophrenia can never take away from you. It's a great first step that you recognize it and decided to do something about it. That's true personal growth.
Amélie Côté 7 years ago
You did a great thing by sharing your art work. It definitely gets people to talk about it and helps get rid of the stigma attached to it. I love how I can actually FEEL your emotions just by looking at your drawings. Keep it up :)
Lenka Macellari 7 years ago
This girl is a real artist and I feel thankful seeing her art and how she describes herself living in this world with her mental illness, is just amazing, because finally she is very conscious about everything and can differentiate pretty well those parallel worlds. Also, when I was reading her story and looking the drawings came immediately to my mind the movie "Nise: the heart of madness" related with the famous Brazilian psychiatrist Nise da Silveira and her "art treatment" on patients with mental illness. I highly recommend to everyone see this movie, heartbreaking and with an incredible result.
Shane Weiant 7 years ago
I also have a diagnosis of paranoid schizophrenia but I just have auditory hallucinations. I love your art. Kate, you are so beautiful. As far as I know I don't have visual hallucinations. I would guess that visual hallucinations are really difficult to deal with. The audiotory hallucinations I have tell me to hurt myself and argue with me as well as insult me. Hollywood portrays paranoid schizophrenic people in bad light most of the time. I consider myself psychic and have since 6 years old. Psychic skills and talents can positively explain the phenomenon instead of explaining it via paranoid schizophrenia. Clairvoyance seeing with the third eye interdimensional beings or other beings or seeing spirits (both good and evil) or other third eyes. Clairaudience hearing interdimensional beings or other beings or evil entity or hearing very far away. Try meditation. I hope I don't offend you at all. I have a diagnosis of asperger's syndrome.
Hunter Stephenson 7 years ago
I have bipolar and possibly schizotypal of some kind. I'm glad to see someone can put down the visuals. I've always wondered what they looked like to people. Thank you for putting yourself out there.
Leeland Booysen 7 years ago
You are a very strong and beautiful person , both inside and out. Judging my your drawings, i'll say pretty intellegent too. So far you are dealibg with this beautifully and from what I see, there is very much beauty in your mind..... keep string and take control, I belive in you ❤
Teresa Banks 7 years ago
Thank you for sharing your pictures, thoughts and experiences. I am so grateful that none of my stuff is on a severe level like you have to deal with. I do appreciate the fact that you are so candid and open , sharing it like you have.It's so important that we stop stigmatizing mental health issues and face them instead. It's still looked at negatively. My daughter sought help for drug withdrawals, depression, suicidal thoughts. Now she is doing so good and I couldn't be more proud.She got cleaned up, is with her fiance, 3 1/2 months pregnant & working full time. Now that she looked for help , they are holding that against her. She will be drug tested monthly and then when the baby is born, they will automatically call CPS. Even if there is no danger to the child. Hell she won't take tylenol & shaved her head,so as not to expose the baby to the hair dye. Yet it is being used against her, and not seen as a good for seeking help. Ty for sharing though. :) I wish the best for you.
Miriel Bresett 7 years ago
I think you are so pretty! I am sorry that you are suffering with this schizophrenia and hope you can be helped.
Edyta Ronska 7 years ago
Hi , I am shzophrenic also , I really how you feel and what you see...... I am on medicine aripiprazol 20mg which is helping me pretty much to coop in with this sickness every single day for last about 6 years. You are very talented and brave girl. Accept your self felling special because you at. Wishing you all the best in life.
Sharron Hardwick 7 years ago
Wow you are awesome! Giving people real insight into scytzopnrenia. Thank you for your strength and courage....a true artist
Micah “Sinvex” Munger 7 years ago
Dunno what you look like through your own eyes but you're gorgeous. I love how you've drawn and painted.
Helen Hassall 7 years ago
Thank's Kate for sharing, as a mother of our son who was diagnosed at the same age I am struggling to understand what he is going through but you describe it beautifully you are so talented. Thank youxx
Charlene Adams 7 years ago
Wow good for you to bring this to the main stream so others can see the problems you are suffering with .I empathize with you and others who have this problem I hope you can find some kinda relief from this sickness. I wish you the best
Robert Colburn 7 years ago
You are not alone. Many people see what you see. The things I see are too horrible to make a paper image of. I wish there was some way we could connect and talk about this. There is so much I have to share with you.
Ania Vdzińsk 7 years ago
hold on! remember that you are the master of all those strange creatures in your mind - you set the rules, don't forget about it - fingers crossed for you and your talent!
Ross Bradfield 7 years ago
I've often thought there may be more to schizophrenia than just a mental disorder...like abilities to see into the world that exists right next to ours, but one normal humans cannot see. It IS true that there are many spectrums of reality we cannot perceive. Whether creatures like this exist there is yet to be explored or proven, but I think there's a very good chance! Whatever the case, these creatures cannot hurt you. So if you have to live with them, what you are doing by making use of them is a great idea! I would encourage you to focus on developing your art and attempt to exploit them in some form of media. See if you can make a living off of your experiences! I think the best ideas in media have come from people like you who see these things. I think you are very capable of turning a negative into a positive here. It may not be the most ideal situation for you, but you might as well find success in suffering you cannot eliminate! Good luck to you!
Mgdme 7 years ago
Part 2. I am lucky her family let me help I don’t dance around difficult subjects, I just feel taking it straight on is being honest, and when her world was telling her other things, she knew she could trust me and trust that I would be telling the truth and what was real. I took this approach with my sister for her to realize she had to take charge of her own world. Of course I would always be there, but she needed to start making the right choices that helped her illness and not fight against it. I hope you have someone like that in your life right now. If you don’t, you need to ask someone to be that person and have a conversation with them now so that if something happens with your world, you will be able to trust them and trust they have the very best intentions for you even if you don’t agree. I wanted to share my experience with you as you shared yours. Your story touched me and I wanted to let you know your not alone. You are very brave and very beautiful.
Nelson Barss 7 years ago
Thank you for sharing. Although some of these drawings are scary I hope you keep drawing.
Mgdme 7 years ago
Kate, I want to first thank you for sharing your story. It's so very hard for other people to understand what schizophrenia is, let alone how it impacts a person’s life. Your self-portrait illustration just floored me. It gives me a little clue how my sister feels in this world. It was only until recently that she was able to accept her diagnosis, which has made a huge improvement in her life. Your acceptance so early is incredibly brave and I believe will give you an advantage and a positive impact on your life going forward. You need to take those moments when they come along. Part 1.
Dan Santos 7 years ago
I think your view of the world is amazing. Not saying that it's like a prize or anything. But maybe in a way it is. Your art is beautiful. You should do like a gallery or an entry shop or something and then maybe the proceeds can go to schizophrenia research or something
David Calcagni 7 years ago
Very talented and very beautiful! Keep drawing. It's your gift. I started hearing voices at 34 years old and it was very scary for me, but you can cope. Glad you are doing something to cope. Personally, I like to write poetry. Schizophrenics can be very creative, and this helps if we're alone a lot of the time. I wish you all the best Kate. Never give up.
David Calcagni 7 years ago
Very talented and very beautiful. Keep drawing. It's your gift. I started hearing voices when I was 34 years old. Strangest thing I ever endured and very scary to me. My outlet is poetry, so if you have a gift use it well. I wish you all the best Kate.
Liana Sarfaty 7 years ago
Beautiful. You're a talented artist. Thank you for sharing, as someone who also suffers from mental illness I feel it is important to speak to the public about our experiences so they can better understand what mental illness really is and not just some scary thing. People are afraid of what they don't understand. Not to mention if they understand it they can better help those who suffer from mental illness. Your drawings will likely speak to many people, even those who don't have a mental illness, because they are emotions every humans feels as one point or another, it's just with mental illness it is intensified and often way more difficult to manage. Your drawings are sort of like metaphors for human emotions. We all experience really ugly, dark emotions just like we experience beautiful, light emotions. You have a bright future because you already at such a young age seem to understand your mental illness and have found a way to cope and live with it. You are an inspiration! <3
Harleyanne Grant 7 years ago
This is beautiful, I have such a hard time explaining to other people the bugs and fuzzy black shadow men that I sometimes see, I am glad that you have found such an amazing coping method that allows you to express your reality :)
Ivan Kehelly 7 years ago
Love your art. Also just let it in that you are beautiful. I work with people who often have schizophrenia and it is a world I will never really get but I do think whatever state of mind you are in there are ways to be with it that enables you to have a life worth living.
Joyce Bramlish-Robinson 7 years ago
You are AMAZING! What a wonderful artist & I think your art depicts a window into what you are dealing with your mental illness. That is huge!! You are beautiful and even more beautiful how you are using your situation to give you an extraordinary purpose in helping people understand how awful this can be. Do you know how incredible that is!! I'm so impressed with you.
Phoenix Fury78 7 years ago
I suffer similarly, seeing things, hearing things, voices, and smells. Have struggled with this since I was 16. Only a very small handful of people know. Sometimes I wish I could draw, so I could illustrate the messed up things I see/hear, but half of them are terrifying or gross, and not things I would want to see aside from when I'm forced to. Not like a movie you can just turn off, stop, or fast forward when you get to parts you don't like. You are truly talented. Good luck, and keep on fighting the good fight...for your sanity.
Crystal Gentile-Porter 7 years ago
You've helped so many people just now by sharing. Others could benefit from doing the same. Will pray for you to help bring this to the forefront. I've had students who've suffered but couldn't be diagnosed. Their families felt helpless. I applaud your strength and courage.
Anna Salerno 7 years ago
God bless you precious child. Your writing and drawing about what you hear and see has helped me to understand what it must have been like for my own father who had paranoid schizophrenia and died in a state mental hospital back in the 1970's. He had taken an over dose of his medication Thorazine. What horror living and thieving right inside your own head. I understand that it can be controlled with medication like heart or kidney problems. Good luck to you in your future.
Lynda Laramée 7 years ago
Thank you for sharing your story. All I knew about schizophrenia was, like you mentioned, from the movies. So, I didn't know anything. I don't think I know anyone with this illness but it made me understand what it is. Again thank you and just so you know, you don't need to pick flowers to get their beauty. You are a very beautiful and talented young lady. Sending you positive energies.
Janet Hoenig 7 years ago
How brave to share what you see. Gives us understanding of what you live with. Hope you find something to help you with this.
MMHS MMHS 7 years ago
Hi Kate! Thanks so much for sharing your story. Your drawings, honesty and your mind are all beautiful. You are such an inspiration to all struggling with mental illnesses!! My mom has schizophrenia as well, and I recently decided to start sharing my story (https://www.mymomhasschizophrenia.com). I shared your article there, hope that's ok. Post or send me an email - I would love to talk to you.
Kayla Blanchette 7 years ago
F*****g fantastic. Your art is incredible and motivational to others struggling with the same or similar thing. Keep drawing, let those things out and show the world. We'd love to see them. Thank you for being brave and sharing with us
Brent Huntoon 7 years ago
I have schizophrenia too. I have learned to overcome it naturally without pharmaceutical medicine. I am no a professional transcendental psychologist and would love to help you overcome if you are interested. I have lived through these symptoms and they are no fun. I just thought I give you some hopeful inspiration that it is possible to overcome these emotions/hallucinations if you are unhappy with them. https://www.facebook.com/brenthuntoon
William Magalhães 7 years ago
Thank you for share. I wish you the best, be always as strong as you are right now.
Louie 7 years ago
It's amazing that you've turned your situation around and started making art out of it! And as you wrote, people with mental illnesssen are seen as "broken", but to be open about it like you are might change some peoples minds! I suffer from mental illness too, and I hope to spread some awereness through my art aswell. Keep drawing!
Külli Kroon 7 years ago
It would be good to know what You think of this book. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/17661416-made-you-up Is it like author of this book writing about Schizophrenia?
Carmine Fucci 7 years ago
Omg you are so beautiful thank you for sharing this. I wish you to do a TED talk one day, and dont EVER give up!
Eleazar Hernandez 7 years ago
You are amazing. Thank you for sharing what you see. I'm sure it's terrifying sometimes. Your post is helping many people.
C.J. Rijsmus 7 years ago
that's exactly what you need to do, dont let a mind illness block you, it's an oppertunity to create so much more as you can see, use it, don''t let it use you!
Penny Baldwin 7 years ago
You are an amazing artist and writer, and I'm sure a lot of people with Schizophrenia will appreciate your work. Thanks for sharing your story!
Gerti Kalici 7 years ago
You should check what used to paint Louis Soutter in the edge of melancholia (maniac depression psychosis, not schizophrenia, indeed).
shinku Iio 7 years ago
You.re absolutely amazing as a person.The guts you have,the courage thats inside you and the faith...i wish you all the best Kate!p.s :you.re beautiful^^.
Labels Hurt 7 years ago
ps that part about RD LAING ..in PART 5 maybe not right he also had a lot of issues sorry maybe i got it wrong
Labels Hurt 7 years ago
FINAL PART 5 sorry so long :) this must be very overwhelming for you all these responses.. But hopefully you feel can less alone now.. you have made many others feel less alone by doing this . and keep doing it ..you have so much courage ....wow Since then I have read many accounts of shamans and esp remember the f great psychiatrist RD LAING . He took a “patient “ with “schizophrenia” into his house with his family..he didn’t “treat” him as I remember.. He was treated as part of the family. His life changed forever..I think that take your time ……move towards calmness in whatever way works for you ..this world is so frenetic......keep drawing ..... check out www.tarabrach.com if you relate to any of this .. she is a meditation teacher - also a psychologist. be cool and relax in whatever way ..BTW so love your birdie pics:) and u know the bugs are pretty cute too .
Labels Hurt 7 years ago
PART 4 and id never known if i could believe her or not cause she was alcoholic too like him .and i was told by other relatives she was" crazy” well at that moment in the retreat i "KNEW" it was all true .......i could go on ..so i allowed the images and who was"behind the knife to surface..in meditation but i stress.....i was very calm as well ......my mind id been training it to focus a long time ........and the fear got less as the threatning voice and images became a whimper.. but when i get stressed the images come but perhaps less intense.. later I was on another meditation retreat and the "knives" i saw floating past me sort of transparently ...like water , glass, illusions....perhaps everything is illusion to some extent, but its how we see it ........
Labels Hurt 7 years ago
PART 3 (so plse read from bottom up) sorry its so long:) in any case eventually i found my way to a meditation retreat -- a few days. the teacher there was very expeienced espacially with psycholgical stuff and funny suggested i draw 10 knives at least..and follow the story ( in my life - my history ) behind them ......but it was easier as i think id prepared the ground..my mind was focused and calm from the mediation and mantras i guess .. It was nice having this support every quiet..compassionate doing there own thing and knowing i could go to this guy if things got too tough.. In any case i started crying as i drew them and thought in my case about my childhood...My mom had told me as baby my dad attached her threatening her with a knife when drunk and she had to hide me away from his violence ..
Labels Hurt 7 years ago
PART 2 (so plse read from bottom up) So apostrophe..In my case the "breakdown" came along from meditating the wrong way -identifying too much with subconcious thoughts that came up . instead of allowing them and letting them go. the mind is powerful and i "though" i was letting go but i wasnt . I was lucky to find a buddhist meditation centre and get to speak to a very experienced meditator with "teacher status" this was after talking to many others there who werent giving me best advice..though they meant well. for a year i slowed down and mediated only lightly and short periods..15 min or so ..but i kept my focus on saying mantras of compassion –lilting and slow and tender…Im a musician so I relate to that I guess which helped a lot.. and a little prayer also helped , made me feel I didn’t have to cope w it all myself,but still it wasn’t easy ....the knives continued..but i kept shifting the focus as much as i could .....to my breath ..
Labels Hurt 7 years ago
PART 1 (sorry message is long so had to break it down into parts to be accepted) Whats amazing is how many comments on your brave and trusting article in so short a time. I think were all neurotic or have anxieties , fears, Yes they might be different but i think everyone doesnt want to admit them for same reason.. fear of ridicule. In Canada this stigmatising disappeared to some extent in this amazing little community .. I was checking it out on you tube a while back. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JwyaRU1svrA I remember a few years back had my 3rd "breakdown" Basically seeing knives imagining them cutting my wrists etc...I was late 50s and cooped up so i did something crazy. I joined this group meetup.com and found a walking group and went along..I felt this paranioa poeple would be able to "tell:" but it allowed my "other side." a quite social side to also be there and i forgot about what was happening while i was out with others . for the most part..
Simon Smith 7 years ago
Thankyou for sharing your thoughts ,Must appreciated -Iam also on Medication since 23 because of live style changes ,but not that bad,I was put on too much medication when I started,And found out at aged 45,and it was reduced -2nd year of losing weight as my new doctor told me because I was on such a hgh amount it brought on diabetes 2, At age 30 I was 107kg and went up to 130kg and down to 115,Today ,Much happier on my Healthy eating and bush walking
SJ Kashyap 7 years ago
Hi Kate, I can totally understand what it going through, I want you to contact me on Fb. Or you can leave a massage on the same.Sj kashyap
Soheil Alavi 7 years ago
Amazing artwork. just thought it would have been amazing to have people like you in a creative department of our company
Alison MacDonald 7 years ago
I admire you art. You are very talented and I'm sure I'm not the only one that gained a modicum of insight into a moment in your life. I wish I could make it better, but all I can say is I hope you continue to show us your art and that you get all the support you need. <3
Notchimine Mette 7 years ago
I am so sorry that you have to suffer through this. I think making the drawings and knowing that these "things" are hallucinations and not real is already a step in a positive direction. Thank you for sharing your beautiful art. I love Birdie. Keep drawing and stay strong.
Szymon Kacperski 7 years ago
I've seen simillar things in a past, unfortunately I can't draw so well like you.
Greg Seebregts 7 years ago
Lovely artwork, I don't know much about schizophrenia but I do understand the feeling of isolation and difficulty coping with it. I was born with epilepsy so it's not quite the same thing but thanks for sharing your story and artwork
Elizabeth Maas 7 years ago
Your drawings remind me of the phosphenes I see when there is no light. The light patterns morph into recognizable patterns, faces and strange monsters if I watch with intent. Here is a video of phosphenes https://youtu.be/GdMJSnBkdqU
Andrew Heil 7 years ago
the drawing that stuck out most to me was the self esteem one. i know everyone has their reasons for why they feel the way they do. but personally i think youre gorgeous. youre a beautiful girl not just on the outside, but more importantly on the inside, where it truly matters. keep your head up
felixreychman 7 years ago
I see a beautiful girl, with a rare talent. Although schizophrenia must be a living hell in many respects, you seem to have managed to find something beautiful in it. Your pictures are amazing, and I couldn't create them in a million years.
Antara Khan 7 years ago
All your drawings show immense talent, Kate. You're very beautiful, inside and out. I pray you get the strength to continue coping. Thank you for sharing this.
Iapetos 7 years ago
On the one hand, I'm stunned by your art, on the other hand, I wish you the best. I can't really imagine what it is like to be haunted and frightened by your own phantasy, however i'd like to write something helpful. In my humble opinion, I suggest to do everything to empower your self esteem. Everything else will resolve itself.
Lee Musson 7 years ago
Have you thought about turning your experiences into a graphic novel? Contact me pls.
Dean Povey-Garman 7 years ago
This is beautiful. You are incredibly talented. Thank you for being so open and honest.
Rahul Garg 7 years ago
I wish you good luck and health. I think you have a wild and great imagination and you are beautiful too. Fight! (hope we dont choke on our cigg smoke either).
James Henderson 7 years ago
I have schizoaffective disorder as well it isn't bad enough I have schitzophrenia but I am bipolar as well I am an artist as well I also have a 148 in far to often people think if your mentally ill you are stupid you keep doing what you are doing it's good artwork and expressive I am an artist as well my name is James henderson if you get a chance drop by and take a look keep on keepin on
Allyson Dymski 7 years ago
My name is Allyson dymski I am 29 years old living with szicphrenia it's a difficult life thank you for sharing your drawings they a beautiful
Darlene Browne 7 years ago
Your art is amazing no matter where it comes from. And you are beautiful! My sister is schizophrenic and on heavy medication. She is doing well, now. Hang in there. Kudos to your strength and thank you for sharing.
Aj Cabrawl 7 years ago
Brave, honest, talented, beautiful... that's what this girl is. Thank you for sharing this part of you.
Carol Patti Fortunato 7 years ago
You are so pretty and a talented artist too. I wish their were meds that would take away these hallucinations.
Aiden Wolters 7 years ago
You're beautiful, your art work is beautiful too. I kinda like Birdie, who strikes me as the nice one.
Clara Sexton 7 years ago
Interesting story, Kate. Have a read of this: http://www.orthomolecularvitamincentre.com/a_hoffer_schizophrenia.php And also this: http://www.altmedrev.com/publications/13/4/287.pdf I think you will find these two links interesting and helpful. Best,
Clara Sexton 7 years ago
Interesting story, Kate. Have a read of this: http://www.orthomolecularvitamincentre.com/a_hoffer_schizophrenia.php And also this: http://www.altmedrev.com/publications/13/4/287.pdf I think you will find these two links interesting and helpful. Best, J
Kira Thesloth 7 years ago
I have a sister who does this! She also creates clay models of what she sees.
Garrett Myers 7 years ago
You are such an inspiration. Mental illness is such a serious and common issue, but nobody likes to talk about ot. You've taken something very difficult to deal with and turned it into art. You've given us a window into your world, and given us a chance to understand something most people have never experienced. These drawings and paintings are heartbreaking at the same time as they are beautiful. Mental illness (though not schizophrenia in particular) has affected so many people in my life. Seeing such a creative and artistic representation of your challenges strikes a very personal chord with me and nearly brought me to tears. Thank you for sharing this with the world. I am sure I'm not the only one who has a new, greater understanding of the challenges people with schizophrenia face every day. You have made a difference in the world by sharing your art. Kate, thank you. And God bless you. *hug* -Garrett
Bertha Blues 7 years ago
Thank you for letting me see how this affects you. You are a gifted artist, and quite brave. Let love shine on you.
Bertrand Ceccaldi 7 years ago
You are great. Sensitivity can be a burden but you have tools in your hands. Difficult to manage with all those things when empathy leads you to so many different ways. It's ok to be that way, love yourself because you are beautiful, wish you can see the world with eyes of love. Best regards
Nicolas Letarte 7 years ago
You are amazing! Thanks so much for sharing this. Your Art is wonderful and very very talented! Merci, love XoxoxO
Tim Graham 7 years ago
OP you are an AMAZING artist. I love the fact that you're using your neurodiverse mind to create beautiful artwork
Rachelle Wise 7 years ago
You are amazing! I worked with patients that had depression and schizophrenic diagnosis...I wish as a student I had seen your drawings. You are so beautiful for sharing. Thank you for helping people to understand people's realities better. 💜
Kristen Caven 7 years ago
This is wonderful and such a gift to the world. Thank you for sharing it! I wonder if people with schizophrenia can get to know their hallucinations and see them as a shamanic gift, a window to their intuition. There are people who religiously take drugs to get visions. I hope as you grow more mature this difference becomes a strength and not an illness for you.
Gillian Black 7 years ago
what an amazing young lady you are ,and brave your talent is a simply beautiful, and I am sure that by drawing these visions it helps you, as it will help others, thank you for helping us understand a little of what your are going through, I am sure we will all look at others with schizophrenia a lot different. may you one day find the peace you are seeking.
Tyler Broveak 7 years ago
For the first time in my life I have an understanding with what a good friend of mine goes through every day. My lack of understanding this condition in life has often left me Impatient with him at times and even sometime fearful, but I now realize my fear was only fear of the unknown. I could never sympathize with what your day to day life is but I can now empathize more than I ever could before. P.s. Everything has beauty, from a little tiny ant to the birds up in the sky. Life, all life, and even death is beautiful. It all comes back to the cycle. Those who say otherwise are the ugly ones in life and even so, they're not ugly souls but lost ones. But the biggest soul you don't want to become lost is that of yourself for you are your biggest judge
Guillaume Savage 7 years ago
I think that modern psychiatry doesn't understand much of mental illnesses... You should check this out! http://www.wakingtimes.com/2014/08/22/shaman-sees-mental-hospital/
Etmun Corelender 7 years ago
There is no point of reality than You are pushed So Someone can earn on you and So was i .,this is what i do for fun www.quadrimnem-corelender.blogspot.com
Puddin Tane 7 years ago
Those are beautiful and show it perfectly. I have read so many stories of people with this and these are pretty much what they describe. You have done an amazing job on those. What a talent. I hope you keep it up. Much luck to you in the future. Never give up, no matter what anyone says!
Mike McCabe 7 years ago
You're awesome, keep drawing and painting. Feel good about yourself, you ROCK!!
David Weiner 7 years ago
Good for you for finding a constructive outlet for coping with your schizophrenia. Do check into high dose niacin therapy though, since that is enough for many to overcome it.
Natt Dee 7 years ago
What you are doing is very brave. You may help people to understand how having schizophrenia feels like. You may also inspire people who have it to express what they are experiencing. I work in the mental health field. Many of my clients have schizophrenia. I have so much respect for you. I would be so so scared if I experienced what you do. I do not know how I would hold it together. Peace. You are wonderful. You are brave. xx
Diana Hansen 7 years ago
one of my sons had schizophrenia. he had a very hard time with it and ended up taking his life at 45. he left a daughter who loved him so much. he was an amazing artist also. he was a challenge to live with but i love him so much for helping me understand it and know how to help him.
Jackson Cherry 7 years ago
Thanks for this. I can't always tell whether I actually hallucinated the things that I did or whether my memory changes it after because it knows it doesn't make sense
Marilyn Barnes 7 years ago
Thank you for sharing your struggle. I'm a mental health therapist and have worked with clients who are unable to voice their own struggles. Looking forward to sharing this.
Bridget Smith 7 years ago
Thank you for sharing your art! I always love when talented artists share their lives through art because there are always people out there who can benefit and relate to the artist's emotions. Your art helps us heal. Whether we're dealing with the same demons or others of our own, you help. And sharing your story helps everyone to understand a struggle that is not talked about very much. Mental illnesses common as depression and anxiety are still pretty taboo to admit and talk about (in my experience), so thanks for sharing yourself with us
Benski Trenkins 7 years ago
When diagnosed with Schizophrenia, or any other mental condition, it often is both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because it explains a lot for yourself, a curse because society gives you that stamp. Ignore the stamp. Yes, there are people that won't look past it, but there are tons (judging by the sheer amount of heartfelt responses here) that see you for what you really are: a beautiful young lady that bravely shares her way of dealing with Schizophrenia. Deep respect for your post... and although you feel often insignificant, as you described, you just touched hundreds of hearts and became the voice for others dealing with the same issues.
Lea Opitz 7 years ago
Sweet Baby! You are so beautiful! I wish you could see how beautiful you are! And your art is wonderful and poignant and an amazing teaching tool! Thank you for helping me, and many more of us, understand, through your art, what you see, and read about how you feel! I am so happy you have amazing support... it's ok to need some help!
Pandaman 7 years ago
Thanks for sharing, you are a very brave person confronting your mental condition with art. It takes much focus to capture an image, and I think is the best to deal with crisis. I've read vitamin B3 or niacin may help in this condition. Never stop expressing and sharing. Best wishes.
Dragon Girl 7 years ago
You are a brave, beautiful soul & a hugely talented artist...keep on keeping on!
Ethel Grimes 7 years ago
Your artwork is amazing! :) The one with all the eyes reminds me of the work of Salvador Dali.
Tanner Hosek 7 years ago
Wow, to have someone else out there... I also have some form of diagnosed schizophrenia and am an artist. I see the world very literally and hear voices as well as have seen something like that thing that crawls out of your vent make an appearance on a purple plant except that mine had a shell and no eyes that i could make out. I write however, the content of my stories are heavily influenced by so called mental disorders and drug abuse. I am impressed, I have followed you on instagram and would love to make contact to share some of my work. I believe the internet is around for a reason and we should try to use it to the best to make good connections with people, even if they are random. You are incredible and remember, it's probably not real, well not all of it.
Jakob Halldor 7 years ago
Nothing is wrong with you, you simply view the world through a lens less accepted. Reality is as we accept it, you are stronger then most for sharing the experience you move through every day. Thank you for your bravery.
Magaly 7 years ago
kate, don t give up! you re a such beautiful soul. I think it would be very interesting for you to get in touch with AnnaMerkaba. She is a wonderful soul healer and Im sure you will come to understand many things about you. https://sacredascensionmerkaba.com/ Much Love Trust yourself first and foremost !!!
Susann Campbell 7 years ago
Being alone with the Doctor is not wrong, it's just wrong for you because you could be hearing something he is telling you and you are hearing something else . My husband goes with me even to my GYN Dr. LOL I call him my interpreter. P.S. if a Dr has taken advantage of you, then it's your word of a schizophrenia against a Dr. You have wonderful loving parents always remember that and I'm sure you can crawl into bed with them if you are being bothered and can't sleep.
Beth Faitro 7 years ago
Thank you for sharing your beautiful art and your story. So many people struggle with mental illness - be it this or another - and feel they are alone in their struggle because of the stigma that works to silences them. Sharing your story is an incredibly brave act, and, as I read some of the posts below, I can see that you are already helping others to feel less alone. As a person and as a therapist, I appreciate the insight that you have given me into what Schizophrenia can look like from inside. I am so sorry that you are suffering. I hope you can take in some of the praise in these posts and see that you are making a positive difference in the world. You are not a worthless fly - you are powerful.
Birma Gustafsson 7 years ago
I have a very superficial idea what schizophrenia is about, like most people, I suspect, and your description of how your life really is like, what you see, and hear, and how the ordinary colourings and shapes differ for you has helped me to understand better what your reality is like. Thank you so very much! Your art is so expressive, and it helped me to picture what it can be like. I can never understand completely, but I understand more now.
Melanie Feerer 7 years ago
Thank you so much for posting this. It is hard for someone to grasp what a person with schizophenia is seeing and dealing with. I believe you have helped to open peoples eyes with your drawings. It is one thing to hear someone tell about it, but your drawings along with puts it into perspective.
Carol Ann Van Natten 7 years ago
I'm so glad to have read your article and what an amazing coping skill. Good for you! You artwork is tremendous. All my hopes. <3
Josh Attama 7 years ago
Your are beautiful just the way you are. Your art is amazing. I hope the best for you.
Sarah Romano 7 years ago
Hi Kate! I'm going for a psych doctorate and truly believe the truth of human life resides in the minds that society classifies as "mentally ill." However, I also hate this term and I wish to shed light on how detrimental that classification is in itself. I would love to conduct my Q&A with you because I feel that we can learn a lot from each other. If you are interested please let me know and we can work something out. Thank you for being you and being open with your thoughts through art. You are absolutely beautiful and I wish you peace and love within. Namaste <3
Paula Parker 7 years ago
Your artistry is extraordinary, as is your insight. I see a beautiful road ahead for you.
Bennette Lyle 7 years ago
thank you for the illustrations, i myself suffer daily and i will try to illustrate my visions. this is a scary world i live in within my self.
Benny Lava 7 years ago
I admire your honesty and really love your art. Thank you for sharing this with us. I wish you all the best in your life.
James Floyd 7 years ago
Keep drawing and writing. It may be hard when you'd rather not stand out, but speaking out and expressing yourself breeds understanding.
James Floyd 7 years ago
This was very powerful and enlightening, in the same first-hand way that "The Reason I Jump" was for shedding light on autism.
Mark Fuller 7 years ago
Wow. Really powerful. Great that you have such insight and a willingness to be so open. Best of luck keeping on top of your mental health x
Maike Weidner 7 years ago
The one with the fly and the Flowers reminds me of a piece by Erich Fried it is called Fabeln, i will try to translate it... "Beauty once was a Guest in Uglyness`s House, there she had the feeling to be ugly becouse she could not help her to be as beautyful as herself." jet it is also said: " Ugly once was a Guest in Beauty s House, where she felt so comfortable that she wasnot ugly anymore" I will believe both of it when in all the countries Hunger was so often a Guest Fullness, that it does not exist anymore But then a child asked me: "does the Fulness feed the Hunger or devours it?" __________________________ so that is what this Picture reminded me of, and the iridescent beaty of Flieseyes and the unique way they see their surroundings in so many little pictures, the transparent Beauty of Flieswings and how they can make a perfekt sommersault in midflight, when they want to land on a ceiling. And how many Flies only live for one day- a good one i hope
Cherie Gray Lester 7 years ago
Your artwork is stunning and so are you! I'm sure by now you've seen the movie "A Beautiful Mind" with Russell Crow, if you haven't, you should check it out. Keep moving forward and making your art. Youre honesty and your work will change many, many lives!
Michael Swet 7 years ago
I am incredibly moved by the amount of courage you must have facing these challenges all the time. I dont have schizophrenia, but have dealt with debilitating health issues for most of my life. its so inspiring to see someone be strong and proactive in their own care, when many would just give up. I wish you all the best, both you and your art are fantastic, imaginitive and beautiful. i wish you all the best luck in the world. stay strong and god bless.
Iuli Julie 7 years ago
I hope in the near future, you will draw from a happier place in your mind. Take care.
Ersi Salander 7 years ago
Please remember that how we see ourselves is entirely different than what others see of us. I don't know you, but when I look at your picture I see a beautiful person. That doesn't only mean you're very pretty, but also that you have a kind heart. And when people have meanness inside them, they're not attractive at all. Thank you for being brave enough to share! Bless you and wishing you all the best.
Amber Zarichniak 7 years ago
Thank you for sharing! I hope you can always remain strong enough to know what is real and what is in your mind. I think your art is very helpful to people trying to understand what a person with schizophrenia is going through. You are very inspiring. If anything always remember you at least helped one person by making this. <3
Flávia Guimarães 7 years ago
Hope someday those beautiful (but sad) draws turns into a bright and happy memories.
Julie Denise 7 years ago
Thank you so much for sharing. You and your artwork are stunning and so important.
Sierra Hall 7 years ago
You are truly brave sharing your struggles. It may help someone else out there that is confused and afraid. I wish you well!
Valerie Notte 7 years ago
I think that young girl is incredible, just remember you are Divinely protected always, best of luck and healing to you Kate
Sabina Hentschel 7 years ago
thank you for sharing this kate...showing us what you see is fascinating and i hope it helps you and others in some way...i wish what u deal with could be pleasant for u somehow as i think ur truly blessed with a amazing talent...i agree with Matthius when he refers to u as gifted...ur art and u are absolutely beautiful :)
TheUndertakersDogBiscuits;3 7 years ago
You are an amazing Artist and i am inspired by your story
Dhanya Munro 7 years ago
Thanks for sharing your experiences with us Kate...it helps us get a glimpse ofhow it feels to have Schizophrenia. Stay strong and keep making art. Your works are very associable and touch me in a deep way.
Chet Dailey 7 years ago
I'm so glad you did this. It is easy to dismiss the claims of hallucinations, especially if one has never had any. To see what you witness gives this symptom a new reality and a better sense of what you suffer.
Cristi 7 years ago
I once had an episode of hallucinations when I was a kid and had a very high fever, it has always stuck with me and I've tried to express it somehow in writing, although it is very hard to do. Can't begin to imagine what it would be like to live like that every day. Sending you strength and peace, you're a brave person!
Daniel Wheatley 7 years ago
It's wonderful that you can keep the visions in your mind to put them on paper and any other forms of expression you might use in the future. This will give you a lot more strength with reality. Marvelous, keep balanced as much as you can, and ask for help when it gets too difficult.
Jeanne Deaux 7 years ago
"my depression makes me feel worthless" "I feel unsignificant". You've probably heard or read it thousand of times but : you are neither worthless or unsignificant. Sure, your life is more difficult than the life most of us will ever live but you're a very talented artist with a whole world to explore. Don't lose hope that one day a treatment, and by that I mean an efficient one that doesn't destroy your mind to help it, will be found. You're still young, you may know this day. I hope you'll know this day.
Corina Haita-Falah 7 years ago
Kate, you are incredibly beautiful, let alone amazingly talented.
Joryen Bixler 7 years ago
I live in a tiny space that I'm fearful of leaving and find months go by before being social. When I have to leave, I'll use my camera to take pictures of whatever catches my eye. Don't give up...
J Todd 7 years ago
I hope you know how many people you will help by sharing your story and bravery. "“We have been given a challenging illness, and there is no other option than to meet those challenges. Think of it as an opportunity to be heroic—not ‘I survived living in Mosul during an attack’ heroic, but an emotional survival. An opportunity to be a good example to others who might share our disorder.” —Carrie Fisher, November 2016, in her Guardian advice column, “Ask Carrie Fisher”
Rosie Quinn Harley 7 years ago
I know how you feel. I also get hallucinations like this with my autism and anxiety. Faces and clay masks and strange creatures seem to be the norm, specially the voices. I'm glad you're able to vent, it's hard living with these things but being able to cope and enlighten others really helps yourself and others who are feeling this way too. we feel less alone x
John Mares 7 years ago
You are not Ill. Just woke and a conduit of Source. These earthlings do not understand.
Mirela Oprea 7 years ago
Wrong diagnosis, don't you think?! I think the lady is bipolar with Asperger traits. Her drawings show signs of manic decompensation. If she has real psychosis then she has a schizoaffective component, but this pretty, intelligent and gifted lady is definitely not schizophrenic. Schizophrenic people decay on all the areas and aspects of their lives and competency. They are disorganized and often lack personal hygiene and dress peculiar. This lady has no such presentation. The prognosis by bipolar disorder is more favorable and the psychosis free periods are more similar to their premorbid functioning. Whereas by schizophrenics it is never a fully psychosis free remission and they experience a regression on almost all levels of their functioning including their social interaction.
Molly Simkins 7 years ago
Have you ever attempted meditation? Even if you don't believe in a reality beyond, or that theses are observing spirits, it could help quiet your brain down and possibly reduce the hallucinations. (or even turn them more positive. Those voices you hear are not dissimilar from simple negative thoughts that most everyone experiences. You are just interpreting them as auditory rather than formless thoughts. Everyone can turn thoughts into better ones.) If you'd like to learn more about those who do believe, look into aura shielding.
Peter Cain 7 years ago
I'm no expert... but my story might help, I hope. My old Dr withdrew his diognosis of scitsofenic when it was reported that I was living on cursed land. I was seeing most of what you have drawn in this article. But only around the area of land that was reported cursed... (Sorry I'll be more honest ) and houses there had been murders in or s**t like that. Please because what you are drawing is so similar to what I was seeing under the conditions above... talk to someone who knows more about that mystical stuff maybe your in the same boat as I was? Merry met. Blessed be. Good tidings.
Philip Kelleher 7 years ago
Btw, Kate, The original comment I made was... If you want to clear your energy field of 'interference'...this technique works ! :-)
Philip Kelleher 7 years ago
Part 1 again, Kate... :-) ........Imagine you are standing on the centre of a large clock, with the clock face flat on the floor, and you are standing in the centre of the clock, facing the 12 0'Clock position...Now, you have a STAINLESS STEEL knife, it matters not what the handle is made of - but the blade must be stainless steel ( and not a sharp one that might cut you) The reason for the stainless steel blade, is that lower entities and energies cannot stand the vibration of stainless steel ( You might consider a stainless steel neck chain too :-) ) So, holding the knife in your right hand, you cut the air in front of you, at a comfortable arm's length, in a slicing pattern from head height down to the floor and as you do so, you say, aloud ... SHIVA - SHIVA - SHIVA * SHIVA - SHIVA - SHIVA * SHIVA - SHIVA - SHIVA * SHIVA - SHIVA - SHIVA .
Philip Kelleher 7 years ago
* The first part has not shown up for some reason... Ok... I will re-post it... :-)
Philip Kelleher 7 years ago
CONT'D...... ..which is twelve times SHIVA. - said in a rhythm of 3's, repeated four times. (I have not got the time right now to go into all the 'why's'...so, I suggest that you might simply trust me that this will work ! ) Then, you face the 1 0'Clock position and repeat the 12 SHIVA's..as you cut the air in front of you from head to floor. Then onto the 2 0'Clock position and repeat...continue around the clock until you get to the 11 0'Clock position...by then you will have repeated 144 SHIVA's and you will have cut clear all around your energy field. This in practice only takes a few minutes, and for anyone who is on this Earth, this technique will help keep their energy field C L E A R !
Philip Kelleher 7 years ago
Hello Kate :-) If You would like to clear your energy field from ...'interference' ~ Please try this... <3 ..... It's called The Cutting Clear Technique...and, It Works ! ... Imagine you are standing on the centre of a large clock, with the clock face flat on the floor, and you are standing in the centre of the clock, facing the 12 0'Clock position...Now, you have a STAINLESS STEEL knife, it matters not what the handle is made of - but the blade must be stainless steel ( and not a sharp one that might cut you) The reason for the stainless steel blade, is that lower entities and energies cannot stand the vibration of stainless steel So, holding the knife in your right hand, you cut the air in front of you, at a comfortable arm's length, in a slicing pattern from head height down to the floor and as you do so, you say, aloud ... SHIVA - SHIVA - SHIVA * SHIVA - SHIVA - SHIVA * SHIVA - SHIVA - SHIVA * SHIVA - SHIVA - SHIVA...(CONT.D ABOVE)
Lance 7 years ago
Your condition mirror's heavy metal toxicity, specifically mercury. Have you looked into this? Get the book Hair Test Interpretations by Andy Cutler. There are many case studies in there that are similar to your situation as well as mine that have been cured with proper chelation.
Lance 7 years ago
Your condition mirror's heavy metal toxicity, specifically mercury. Have you looked into this? Get the book Hair Test Interpretations by Andy Cutler. There are many case studies in there that are similar to your situation as well as my personal journey that have been cured with proper chelation.
Anneliese Lumley 7 years ago
Have you looked into spiritual warfare. Anyone in family in freemasons or any occult stuff can incur curses that are like this. Sets in about 16 and in mostly females born first in family or certain dates. I pray and declare that the holy armies of angels are around you and your family and that the things that torment you through these visions are halted. These things were happening to me. Now I don't have them all the time only when I need to ask for the angels to remove it if I'm in a new area or the mall. I have to constantly ask if I am out around people. Other people have seen these things too and the angels. Blessing to you.
Kacper Sapija 7 years ago
No you are not an artist. You cant be artist by calling yourself like that. Get a life and gtfo, no1 gives a s**t
Hasan Newman 7 years ago
I work in mental health running supported living arrangements. The vast majority of my clients are affected with schizophrenia. I'm not a fan of the chemical lobotomy they get, I hope you can make some YouTube vids so we can hear you. Abacus Supportive services is my company. Look us up and contact me, id love to gain a better understanding from someone who can articulate like you. Maybe I could help some of my clients a little better. Thanks for all you do. Matthew
Bob Coches 7 years ago
When I saw your self portrait painting I knew instantly it was inspired by the Holy Spirit. I saw a beautiful picture of the lion of Judah looking back at you in the mirror. Psalm 17:15 Amplified Bible (AMP) As for me, I shall see Your face in righteousness; I will be [fully] satisfied when I awake [to find myself] seeing Your likeness.
KW 7 years ago
Beautiful girl, what you are seeing is real. You have eyes that can see into the spirit realm, that most people can't. Descriptions of creatures like this are in the Bible. Thank you for sharing your story! May you find relief from fear in Christ who loves you, who has ultimate power over demons and death. I pray for your healing and relief! That God would allow you to see angels and agents of good in the spirit realm, and not just the dark things! Hugs to you- be blessed. (Also, as a side but important note: certain foods can aggravate mental anguish and should be avoided, like wheat. It has been known for centuries that most schizophrenics are malnourished and cannot tolerate grains. GAPS Diet personally helped me with that; maybe it can help you too.)
Kim Dotiwalla 7 years ago
I think you should start researching Angels and compare what you hear and see with what other hear and see. A friend has such a gift and has taught me some. The more I use it the stronger it gets, like learning a new language As a nurse I appreciate your unique situation and appreciate your teaching me about the visual component. There are two dogs fighting. Which one will win? The one you feed.
Keuthonymos 7 years ago
I feel slightly cheated by life as I have to buy mushrooms for the same experience.
Jane Harkleroad 7 years ago
I've read that knitting and other handwork helped people who have mental problems. I wondered if Kate has tried knitting and if it helped or not. I am sad that Kate has this problem, but glad that she had found a way to express herself and enlighten others. God bless you, Kate. I pray that somehow you will stop having this problem.
Jim Henson 7 years ago
You have to remember,one can have a thousand demons outside your mind,They can only make noise But should you weaken and let one in.That one is the one you must destroy.Research Anunnaki,all your efforts ,will lead you to enlightenment. 20151027_1...e9e249.jpg 
Charles Baird 7 years ago
I think most likely she is experiencing visions from the spirit world and since people find that part of life difficult to believe, they call them hallucinations. The extreme emotions like anxiety and depression are also the usual result of spirits. The prophet was told, "do not fear the faces you see" (I think Jerimiah). That is what they were talking about. In one of the books of Solomon (not included in the bible) he asks the question, "what are the faces I see before me?" Spirits often communicate through imagery. Birds and bugs are different spirits and the eyes "we are surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses." She doesn't need meds she needs someone that has been to the spirit world that can help her.
Skysquall Leonhart 7 years ago
Maybe u just are pyscic or indigo then?developed some kind of third eye.seeing into another realm or dimension being
sean kirschner 7 years ago
Take some psychedelics its going to help i promise if not im like a million miles away so not even those creepy laserbeam eyes of yours are getting me and to all other persons here imagine all she is saying to be real and you just cant see it.
Suzanette Nurse 7 years ago
I think all art geniuses share your experiences and perspectives. You are definitely not alone, just continue to express through your Art.
Debra Adams 7 years ago
As scary as it may seem, maybe it's just that your eyes are open and the rest are all closed.
Izzy's Maid 7 years ago
I actually saw a lot of those images when I was, like, 17 years old. I enjoyed it immensely but I never thought it might be anything important.
Lida Thornley 7 years ago
Maybe nothing is wrong with her and she can simply see the things that the rest of us can't. Have you ever thought of that?
Jojo 7 years ago
I lost the post that I wanted to post because of evil things that are better for me to not state here, but I will attempt to repost something here for you. Your artwork shows important issues, so you are drawing from a truthful place. Your perception is poignant and truthful. That is an important thing and I hope that your therapist (apparently you have gone that route because you chose/were compelled by others to get a diagnosis) is a good one who appreciates both that and your rights as a living being: that basically exclude you being abducted by aliens or taken advantage of by a lustful therapist or whatever influence has sway over the therapist.
Roger Conner 7 years ago
Assume you have tried drugs. They have been nearly 100% effective in my daughte's case who has been dealing with this for 20 years.
Jojo 7 years ago
Even for this most serious of diagnoses, it is important to seperate fact from fiction. If you are choosing to go the therapist route, then I hope that you have a good one. Your artwork points to some seriously poignant perceptions of the world. That is coming from a truthful place, no matter what your current therapist is saying. I am not saying it is a nice place. But it is a true place nonetheless. I would suggest that you focus on helping the true issues in your life: your relationships with the people who ACTUALLY care about you (not just want to use you) - and dealing with your own past. If you were abducted, deal with that, don't push it aside to "those crazy people." Because, at the end of the day, high school concerns of what people think about you do not matter nearly as much as you think they do now, but health records and giving them more power over you do.
Marc-André de La Ronde 7 years ago
One day, we will understand that it is a great gift; for now, it's not known how to put "filters" for the "bad" visions to be filtered out and only keeping the "good"ones. Continue your work, it's very interesting to see what you see. :)
Stephanie McColligan 7 years ago
I am 17 and have schizophrenia. I also love to draw. Why isn't there an article about me?
Heather 7 years ago
Post your story of your experiences. Never wait for someone to tell your story.
Load More Replies... Stephanie McColligan 7 years ago
I also have Schizophrenia and I am 17. I love to draw! There should be an article about me!!!!
Charity Spicer 7 years ago
Labels anger me ...I've seen spirits since I was young and I know there not hallucinations...Some see and some don't ...I personally will never follow norms ..Never let labels say who or what we are ...This place is way to big for just one realm and there are way to many mythological stories, history's of spirits for there not be other entities
Michael Craig Liebel 7 years ago
When I was young i started having visions of my own. Events that would come true. I dismissed it as coincidence. Now I have come to learn that I have a gift of seeing future events. I can't control when PR if it happens. It just does. I have struggled most of my life to understand why I have this gift. When it happens I want to warn the person to prevent it from happening. I can not. It makes me feel very helpless and to avoid my gift. I was introduced to the love of God many years ago. I wanted to know if this God who loved me was real I really wanted to know Him. In those early years of my life my thoughts were very dark. I comptiplated suicide many times. I felt very insecure and that everyone despised me. I was angry and my thoughts were chaotic. I used to feel everyone was talking about me.
Catarina Araújo 7 years ago
Wow, this is amazing, please keep on doing your art. Ancient cultures believed that people like you were shamans who could see the invisible spirit dimension that permeates this one. Maybe you are seeing those spirit critters. Even if it is "just" an hallucination, isn't it amazing how the human brain creates these astonishing designs? DOn't let them beat you down. Birdie sings to you to help keeping the fire alive. One day, you will be strong enough to lit that fire up and it will burn so bright that all the dark critters will recoil. They like the darkness. Trust in your gift. It may seem like a curse, and I would not willingly be in your shoes, but this art you are creating proves that a curse may become a blessing. Let's rewrite our history to become victorious over the forces that bring us down! Best wishes for you, I'll be following your updates to see more art and stories
Sam Simpson 7 years ago
Hi there, you've done some wonderful art and I'm really glad that it helps you I read these articles and thought that they might be interesting to you especially as you've created a creative outlet by yourself. Hope they help and big love, Sam :) http://www.jaysongaddis.com/the-shamanic-view-of-mental-illness/ http://nautil.us/issue/40/learning/a-mental-disease-by-any-other-name
Terri Richardson 7 years ago
"My self-esteem is at its lowest, and I feel insignificant. I always wish I could shapeshift into a “prettier” person." First, I am not looking to make any trouble, I am really just curious. I Googled your picture and ended up on a page that is (basically) a model's portfolio and/or shots of you singing. A few that seem to be album covers. I know two schizophrenics and neither could be able to pose for the photos on that page. At the age of 66, I have suffered from bipolar disorder, chronic depression, anxiety. I would not be able to pose and look so beautiful, although before my mental health problems started running my life, I was a model as a teenager. And although I would never wish a person to have a mental illness, I hope this post is true and not an attempt to get you recognized. Good luck to you.
Farnaz SH 7 years ago
I had schizophrenia when I was 14 and I did not know it, not even my mom. I know your feeling, Kate. I was 23 and I felt I'm getting like before again but what I realized, was that all that voices come from my mind and that's all my own imaginations. I decided to control it by myself. I said "I can" and I did it. I wish you will learn how to control your mind
Gus Miller 7 years ago
I know you feel like you're trapped in your own world (actually you're kinda in multiple worlds). It's awesome to see that you're turning something negative and turning it into a positive. You're amazing. Sometimes love is the key and potential suitors will get scared off sometimes but the good guy/girl would stick around knowing that you need them. I know that MUST oneof the main reasons for your sadness that you feel as though no one wants to be in love with you. The right person will come along and hold you tight and talk you through the rough times. Take care and remember love, love, love ........
Greg Crimmins 7 years ago
What a b***h. I've had better drawings and had 'issues' my whole life and made better art about those issues. What a c**t.
DancingToMyself 7 years ago
Kate is b***h, because YOU had better drawings? I really hope that you're seeing some therapist to help you with your thoughts. There is no need for you to be such an ugly person. I really hope that you have tried to talk to someone who's professional.
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Alice Rotaru 7 years ago
Is not the same thing but I used to have O.C.D. Voices were telling me the cooker was on, spending minutes to convince myself to let go and leave the cooker, oh and the wirdest: in the night with the lights off in my room, a voice didn't let me go to sleep keep telling me I have to turn off the light. Even after all these years I am amazed how powerful was the voice. The uncomfortable truth for people is that theae voices are demons. They let you go with confession. Orthodox. I really hope you will get cured!
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Angela Clayton 7 years ago
Doesn't look like schizophrenia at all. Looks like you have some unwelcome alien/ET visitors. The weird spider is a common one - Miles Johnson (Bases Project) calls them 'scuttlers'.
Tara Rose 7 years ago
Honey these are gorgeous. You have wonderful gifts. From the perspective of having been an intuitive healer, it seems to me that you are describing seeing real entities. If you are open to it i highly recommend seeing a shamanic healer who is of the highest integrity to clear them. They can only exist in your reality with your own permission on some level, so keep loving yourself and empower yourself. You don't have to allow them to run things or stay suffering. Xoxo
Paul Ankie 7 years ago
This is a beautiful use of a brain. I am curious, if creatures are repeating and you see the same thing over and over. Could it be an alternate reality of some sort. I hope this isn't insensitive but what if schizophrenia is just someone who is gifted in seeing a place most simple minds couldn't understand. The world is dark no matter how much we want to ignore the bad stuff, someone has to be able to see through the fog.
Anne Zobrist 7 years ago
Is "You are beautiful" the go-to comment here??? How about "well keep taking your meds and go to therapy with your doctor! Good luck!" No instead a bunch of sychophants a*s-kiss her with passive compliments as if that makes someone be all better!
Anna Brandigi 7 years ago
Is it really that bad to be nice? You need some friends
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Beatrix Kiddo 7 years ago
It is not funny, Kevin, that, in my opinion, your message of a need for Jesus is far over shadowed by a lack of compassion. Are you speaking of Aleister Crowley's "Lam"? Most people probably never heard of Aleister Crowley. Sorry, I digress, I do not see the resemblance between her drawing and Lam. I could have seen a different picture than you.
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Anna Brandigi 7 years ago
Maybe you're just ignorant and should seek politeness. Nobody asked you to come advertise Christianity
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Anna Brandigi 7 years ago
Are you serious? This is a mental disorder. It's not an emo phase.
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Ashley Davis 7 years ago
I don't have enough eyes to roll at this comment.
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DancingToMyself 7 years ago
Yup, it must be from vaccinations! You're so ignorant, just your first sentence is toxic and harmful to others! Go away please.
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Ashley Davis 7 years ago
Oh my gosh, please no one take her advice. Definitively not going to help.
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DancingToMyself 7 years ago
Why, oh, please, WHY would she imagine that?! What's with you?
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Ashley Davis 7 years ago
Are you assuming that mental illness can't happen without being provoked by medication?
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Iapetos 7 years ago
No, you simply want to have halluzinations and explore your mind. Schizophrenia is a serious issue: You can't control your halluzinations and you're haunted and scared by them. They might tell you you're worthless or to kill yourself and so forth, and you feel insecure about yourself.
Load More Replies... MidS 7 years ago
Schizophrenia has a strong genetic/biological basis. Mediums don't help fix the imbalance of neurotransmitters in the brain or fix her genetic predisposition to the mental illness. Medications and therapy help, and I've got loads of research to back it up.
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MidS 7 years ago
Step 1: Get educated on mental illnesses. Step 2: Keep judgemental and highly ignorant thoughts to yourself. Step 3: Be taken seriously(?)
Load More Replies... Wezbie 7 years ago
I can't imagine what the world would look like through your eyes so thank you for sharing your story and your wonderful drawings! You are incredibly talented! Have you seen the TED talk by Eleanor Longden? I would highly recommend it if you are ever feeling alone in this. I hadn't really seen a lot of people with schizophrenia talking about it and just like with your post, her talking about it helped me understand it all a little better :)
Ok Ha-Neul 7 years ago
i watched the video. those were the most well spent 14 minutes of my life. i wish you well
Load More Replies... John L 7 years ago
My uncle has schizophrenia, and as it was gaining on him, he described it to me once. Its like being in a base universe, with countless ones buzzing in and out, and you can't stop it. He has totally isolated himself, and everyone doesn't understand. But its because he doesn't want others to see him that way. I totally empathize with you dear. Bless you!
Max Stern 7 years ago
Good post and definitely one of the ways I see it. And ditto on the isolation. No one with a severe disorder wants to have even friends and loved ones perceive them as having become "other". Which is harsh because even after a break we are still us. Almost No One seems able to understand that.
Load More Replies... Ellie Blazer 7 years ago
I'm 19 and have schizophrenia as well; I can definitely say drawing and painting helps immensely when dealing with hallucinations, it turns something horrifying into something beautiful, and I know I wouldn't be able to cope with my illness without art. Your drawings are incredible, and I feel much less alone because of your post- Thank you
Matthias Plunkett 7 years ago
I love your work and the spirit in which it was created. Thanks for sharing. On a slightly odd side note, long ago when I was considerably younger, I had an LSD trip that turned pretty horrible (Understatement of my life) The reason I mention it is that I saw things very much like the mounds and masses with eyes. They called themselves Umpsquamadic Peels - Google it, I've done my own things with them. Maybe you will see a common aspect or two? It was often said by the late Terence McKenna, that the shaman of a tribe would often be the schizophrenic who had the gift of vision, who could see things ordinary tribe members couldn't. It's just that society lost something when these gifted people were no longer seen as valuable. I see a person with the gift to express things that ordinary people do not see and I commend your artistry.
Shaker Al-otaiby 7 years ago
You are a beautiful person, you deserve all the happiness in the world; i wish you a fast recovery from all this, thank you for sharing, and we are here for you.
Jamie Beck 7 years ago
Thank you for sharing your story and your art. For only 18, you seem incredibly brave and self-aware. I hope your courage helps other people who are in your shoes, and reaches the greater audience to promote a better understanding of these types of conditions. Stigma continues to hamper all kinds of progress when it comes to illnesses that affect the mind. People like you will help encourage dialogue and find solutions. ;-)
Susann Campbell 7 years ago
I also live with this abomination. In my case I couldn't tell anyone for fear of being locked away. Then one day I saw a D**k Cavett tell his story and I went in to the Doctor and told mine. I am now on medication for a number of things that help me some and others to help with depression that helps and then doesn't. I stay away from bad news stories and real life books unless they are funny. I started painting and drawing but not what I saw, (those I kept in my Journal) I painted pictures from pictures that calmed me or pictures that I took of nature . My heart goes out to you and you are so young for new treatments in medications that I know you will get better. You are beautiful and repeat that every time you don't feel that way and take a refreshing walk with a trusted member of the family , even if its only one block and turn around and come home. Never be alone with your DR.s Have mom or dad with you at all times . Even when you come of age! Feel better everyday!
Ellen Pitcole 7 years ago
Thank you. This is written with such a nurturing heart. excellent ideas
Load More Replies... Iapetos 7 years ago
Probably, but I don't know whether this comment is really helpful or not. If you were schizophrenic, would you rather like to deny your perceptions or would you rather accept them as "real"?
Load More Replies... Dan Hubbert 7 years ago
Thanks for sharing this it's a fascinating insight into the 'real' condition rather than the trite Hollywood trope that's always on show.
Lauren Lavigne 7 years ago
I could not even imagine what world you live in because of that. Don't look at it as a bad thing. Your different which means your unique and
Claudia Arevalo 7 years ago
I also have schizophrenia. I was diagnosed in my late 20s. It is a struggle few can understand. I am lucky that Haldol controls my symptoms and allowed me to get my MBA, work, become a mother, and eventually retire from a long, successful career. I pray others with this horrific disease can find equally successful medical help. Praying for you dear.
Bunnies are better!! 7 years ago
Thank you for helping us to understand more about what your condition is like. Your illustrations are beautiful
therealpixie 7 years ago
I've read comments telling you how you are "perfect" the way you are. I'd like to see those patronizing folks try to deal daily with what you have to go through, and see how "perfect" they think their life is then! Good luck, sweetheart. I promise, if you stay on your meds, it will get easier as you get into your thirties.
Porto DaMartinica 7 years ago
the fact alone that you aren't constantly terrified by seeing and hearing such things and not live in fear is amazing, plus the guts to speak out so openly and calmly about it, plus your talent, you are awesome. no idea if you ever gonna read this, but if your self esteem will reach one day a 10th of the one i and obvioulsy many other readers in here have for you, you'll be all set as far as that one side of your issue goes. i haven't the slightest clue of how to express my respect for you, really. Wish you well
Mgdme 7 years ago
Kate, I want to first thank you for sharing your story. It’s so very hard for other people to understand what schizophrenia is, let alone how it impacts a person’s life. Your self-portrait just floored me. It gives me a little clue how my sister feels in this world. It was only until recently that she was able to accept her diagnosis, and this has made a huge improvement in her life. Your acceptance so early, is incredibly brave and I believe will give you an advantage and a positive impact on your life going forward. You need to take those moments when they come along. My mother usually took care of my Sister’s needs, but when she passed, I was very unprepared to help her when her world would spun out of control. Part 1.
Tammy Chapman 7 years ago
God Bless You Mgdme. And May Peace, Love and Light guide your way in the years ahead.
Load More Replies... Helen Thomas 7 years ago
Wonderful art! And please reconsider your occasional wish to be "prettier". That's just a nonsense concept made up for people who don't have a mind of their own. You have a fine mind to be able to create such artwork. I hope you keep drawing and working with the schizophrenia. I'm 45 and have had depression on and off since I was a teenager. I've decided it's a life's work to get comfortable with the fact that some things knock me far harder than they seem to knock others. I love to immerse myself in art when I can. Oh yes, let other people help you if you can find the right people to help you - I've found it takes a while to discern who is helpful and who isn't.
Lauren Lavigne 7 years ago
You are special. God lives you for who you are. Weather you have what you have. (Forgot the name.) you are you. And your perfect the way you
Markus McCloud 7 years ago
You are far braver than I. Some of these images sends chills down my spine, and I only gazed upon them once. You, on the other hand, had the courage to revisit these hallucinations, some of them highly unnerving, long enough to make them into art. Thank you for showing me how you perceive the world.
Owen Miller 7 years ago
You are an absolute blessing, and your struggle is real, being able to express feelings and show the people how you perceive the world, to me, is what being a true artist is all about, you are unbelievably talented, and what you do is not only therapeutic to you but helps others maybe understand your world and for some, their own. As an artist myself, I feel that I view the world a bit differently, I see objects as shapes and colors and try to dissect the finite details, And when I put it on paper or canvas or when I look at someone else's work, I often wonder about the how and why, what are they thinking about when create the artwork, the uniqueness of every single piece is as inspiring as the person who created it. Keep being that inspiration, and God Bless you
Sue 7 years ago
This is very interesting. It is my impression that humans have the ability to sense their surroundings and the very sensitive have a creative brain that translates that to a kind of physical metaphors. Eyes= You are being watched. That kind of thing. Psychics tend to be either auditory, visual or they can even smell things, sometimes. Psychics just see the non threatening bits. The brain translates feelings a bit like a radio picks up frequencies, it has channels. If you are stressed and perhaps a high achiever who worries, it may pick "worry channels". Which is when scary, worried, anxious "vibes" get translated into physical things, voices, etc. It can't be blocked out. It's natural. It might change if the root cause changes. I suspect this, anyway. My best wishes.
Andy Horgan 7 years ago
I have schizophrenia, and it's horrible. props for getting through today. keep up the art, it's fantastic. never had a visual hallucination so i cant even imagine how scary that is. i used to describe it as like you've woken up in some wierd alternate dimension where all the things you thought you knew were suddenly wrong. but as the days go by i'm starting to belive it actually is all in my head (with a few wobbles now and then). stay strong! P.s i'm super jealous of your drawing skills
Magnus Wilson 7 years ago
I write about my hallucinations to cope, I can't draw worth a damn so it is easier for me to write. I would also make stories about them and put them in RPG games I would run to help remind me that they are not real.
Camila Silva 7 years ago
I had no idea. You are so talented. My aunt has schizophrenia and, well, I have to admit that I have never understand her. Thank you. You made me realize how hard, full of wonders and even scary her world might be. I dont think that people really understand this mental illness. Thank you, thank you. You are so extremly talented, beautifull and BRAVE. And god... young! You are my new idol in the world.
Olivia Kennett 7 years ago
Thank you for sharing with us! I certainly now have a better understanding of Schizophrenia thanks to your amazing art. I think we ought to encourage as many schizophrenic people as possible to do something like this- draw their hallucinations, because it helps people to actually see what can be an awful solitary experience, and seeing is believing and understanding. Keep up the good work and just so you know, you are brave, badass and beautiful! And Don't let your demons tell you otherwise!
Joey Wilson 7 years ago
Schizophrenia doesn't make you broken or obsolete. I believe that mental illness often co-exists with positive, unique traits.. I feel your ability to create art demonstrates this. You have a lot to offer the world, so hang in there, and don't let it overcome you.
Claire Lynch 7 years ago
Kate an 18 year old artist with schizophrenia who is beautiful. That was my thoughts when i read that first headline. Thank you so much for sharing your visual hallucinations. Some of them look scary and I hope drawing them helps. I hope you have more like the bird who sings. I have been a psychiatric nurse for 31years and this is a very powerful way to communicate what you are experiencing. It is fantastic That you are taking control of the illness and not allowing it to control you. Some people take years to do that and some people don't manage it. thank you so much Kate an inspiration to others. Good luck and i hope you have a happy life. Claire
Luc Mailloux 7 years ago
Thank you for sharing. Though I am not schizophrenic myself, one of my past best friends has schizophrenia and I've been present for intense psychotic episodes of others dealing with the delusions. The stereotypes and stigmas are often inaccurate, but I hope you realize these things are driven by fear, and not hate (although fear can develop into hate). And I'm not sure education can erase that fear due to the ways schizotypical behavior manifests itself. Knowing my buddy was experiencing a auditory hallucination (voices) turned my confusion into fear, so ironically and sadly, my education in psychology led to both the understanding of my friend's issues and the end of our friendship. :/
Lisa Jin 7 years ago
hello, that's sad. why did it end your friendship? Sorry but I'm not sure it's helpful to say that about behaviour - suggesting that stigma is justified generally feels rather upsetting. It's like racism - I'm not white and people might say Chinese people all do maths - if they said that and my friends just said that's prejudiced but I get your point, it's not helpful. I don't have the above conditions myself, but I dislike stigmas very much. I'm studying psychology too, but I found many psychologists to be more kind and understanding of things... can I ask what went wrong? I have heard people describe auditory hallucinations - can I ask why it turned confusion into fear? Thanks.
Load More Replies... Jana Montgomery 7 years ago
Wow...my heart bleeds for you. I am in the bottom of the pit myself, trying to fight the urge to end it all, once and for all...it is a fight, hour to hour, minute to minute, second to second. ...and nobody understands.
Tammy Chapman 7 years ago
PLEASE keep up the fight. Each second, every minute, every hour. Keep clawing your way up and that light will get closer. It has taken me 20 years of hell to escape that damn pit. But it is possible. I tried to do it for my family. I tried to do it for my daughter, who had to grow up with me being...well.....me. Now she's 22, married, and will be an RN by Christmas. It didn't work when I was trying to get better for other people because every day I knew I was letting them down. Four years ago I made up my mind that I wanted to stick around for a while, and I fought like hell to do just that. I found the right psychiatrist and meds. And I worked to retrain my mind. Finally, after 20 years of wanting to die, I WANTED to SURVIVE!!! I NEEDED to SURVIVE!!! I learned to rely on my mental abilities, and I was able to change some things. I wish you luck. Never Give Up!!! Keep Fighting!!! May Peace, Love and Light guide your way!!
Load More Replies... Diane Poulin 7 years ago
My granddaughter, 12, has recently been diagnosed as schizophrenic. She, too, is an artist...I think her counselor is on the right track with art therapy, but that is just the beginning. I wish you the best, Kate, and thank you very much for sharing.
Tiffany M. Valentine 7 years ago
As a mental health advocate, this will help a lot of people understand mental illness and how it's just as important as physical health. You are an inspiration.
Blue Berry-Wayleen 7 years ago
Your drawings are really fascinating. It makes me understand better what you can feel and go through and i think it's a big step towards being understood and considered, aknowledged by people not just as someone who's said to be 'mentally ill'. So keep drawing, keep showing the world what it feels like. I hope it helps you and reassure you. I'd like to follow your art somewhere, do you have DeviantArt maybe or a webpage?
Nathan Duval 7 years ago
Society is dumb and superficial yet it's influence feels strong. I think you are a lot stronger by opening up about your everyday experiences. You are someone I'd hope to meet someday...I wonder if Salvador Dali hallucinated. That would explain some s**t.
Anirudh Pratap Singh 7 years ago
I do t know what the world thinks ,I just wanted to share what I feel.I feel that you are not a Normal girl ,you are special ,you are an Inspiration for everyone,I really like your artwork and am looking forward for more .
Matt Brooks 7 years ago
I have schizoaffective disorder and I'm an artist. I can relate. Not with visual hallucinations, but paranoia, depression, etc. I followed you on IG and hope for the best in your endeavors. Good stuff! :)
Spike Robinson 7 years ago
You are beautiful. And significant. And I think that your art is absolutely transcendent and what a great way to cope. I, too, deal with the hell of low self-esteem, but I don't have hallucinations piled on top of it - you are a brave, brave woman, and today you have been my inspiration. I wish you the best!
Shruti Naik 7 years ago
Great decision to reach out and share. Hope more people follow your lead. The illustrations are beautiful.
kelly flower 7 years ago
ur strong for even dealing with this mental illness. I can't even imagine
Moises Barnes 7 years ago
Beautiful art Kate. I'm sorry that you have this condition. I hope for all the best in your life, keep shining and keep your head up :)
ann cordier 7 years ago
Very brave to help people understand mental health challenges through your art. I'm wondering if you drew similar creatures in your artwork before realizing that they were your hallucinations? Be strong and thanks for sharing. Peace to you😚
Happee Love 7 years ago
Girl, you don't need another person's beauty. You are as beautiful as you are now. Unique and special in your own way.
Jerry Bradford 7 years ago
I get the visions and all and I'm truly sorry you experience them.I think your courageous choice to turn them into art and share your story is an amazingly strong thing to do.As far as your self esteem and your wish to steal beauty,well you already are very beautiful.I do realize that anyone can lack self esteem,mine is low too.But seeing a rose that feels it's a weed.well that sucks because you deserve to experience the beauty that you are.I wish you the best and applaud your strength.
Kevin Stein 7 years ago
Your images are excellent...I would like to suggest posting them on something like Society 6.
Franziska G. 7 years ago
Wow.... shocking how many people with shizophrenia are around here.... best wishes to all of you. This looks extremely challenging and my own mental illness looks like a park walk in comparison.
Ellie Gill 7 years ago
Hi! I too was diagnosed with Scizophrenia, at the age of 16, im am artist also. I find it amazing that youre actually able to do artwork like this, my hallucinations are very different to yours and often cant find the capability to do the artwork I want to do. This is very inspirational and im glad youre able go do this, but im worried this glorifies this mental illness - which is the last thing we want to happen, this mental illness is not art, or an inspiration for beauty, its a horrible condition that makes it hard to even go day to day with. Im glad you are able to live and thrive from it in this way, but spare a thought for those thousands that cant
Sarah Hancock 7 years ago
There is nothing glorified about these illustrations. They are a snapshot of her reality--like any artist capturing their perception of reality. In no way does it minimize the experiences of others.
Load More Replies... Kirstie Schraf 7 years ago
You are really amazing. Don't let the glitches in your brain ever tell you otherwise! This is a really creative and splendid way to connect with the rest of us and let us in on your world. Thank you for bravely posting it!
Mehdi Iranii 7 years ago
I dont know on which part of the earth are you presently but you are a human ,you have life & you are one of the most unique soul ever. Not because you are already famous world wide but because you are dealing with such a phase,even brave enough to be creative about it on ways of expression. Takes gutts . Goodluck to you ,you wonderful woman. Best wishes ~Another soul like you ~ ( Probably )
Eric Trahan 7 years ago
Me too. Me and my mom..we can deal. we all can. Keep up your good lil self okay
Hazel Inch 7 years ago
I also was diagnosed I'm currently in therapy I'm soon to be turning 14. I hear voices and see things I've tried drawing them but im not the best artist. I also tried writing about it in songs or poems but I'm not very good at English and couldn't do that either. So I'm a bit stuck on what I can do
DancingToMyself 7 years ago
You are so sweet and sooo young! You can learn how to express yourself in the most amazing ways! You know that you're not alone. Your beautiful mind will help you to decide what's the best way possible to explain yourself. I'm sending love.
Load More Replies... Shehryar Khawar 7 years ago
The struggle is real, I understand. You are my hero. Keep on hanging in there. Bravo!
Kristi Zoebelein 7 years ago
Thank you for sharing these beautiful drawings and paintings! Love and hugs to you!
Shaker Al-otaiby 7 years ago
Oh, i forget to mention how incredibly talented of an artist you are as well 😊
Gautam Khatry 5 months ago
Can i use ur pictures for my assignment?i need to upliad it on insta.can i?
Felipe ORyan 3 years ago
I dont belive you have real Schizophrenia. At least I can't see it in your art.
Samson Eze 4 years ago
Read this years ago..just remembered it as I was writing a song about it and I decided to find this article again. It’s really tough and something ignored in My country.
Bluebell Rizzi 5 years ago
Good on you for being so honest about it. A friend of mine had something similar when she was younger, one of the things she saw was a fetus that floated above her bed. Would be so interesting to know the sciences behind all of it
Hayden Rae 5 years ago
I myself suffer from Psychosis, similar to your condition, but not so severe I assume, I see visions of a black mass shadow person with red eyes, sometimes it’s bright sometimes they are dark, it’s a really tall figure but always try’s to bland in with things, the voices I hear are like mummering, but trust me it’s gets to you, there have been times where I have lashed out at people telling them to speak up not realising it’s not them... I try to draw and write to distract myself from it all but it helps in a little way I suppose!
Engin Canan 6 years ago
country: turkey city: ankara / schizophrenia treatment. mr. erol tangut (ilm-i sayik) a knowledge (father's lineage and mother's lineage) tevbe-i sayik book
Engin Canan 6 years ago
schizophrenic kate, you turkey ankara erol sayik tangut and ilm-i sayik (ilm-i sayik)
Engin Canan 6 years ago
country: turkey city: ankara / schizophrenia treatment. mr. erol tangut (ilm-i sikik) a knowledge (father's lineage and mother's lineage)
Tim McGrath 6 years ago
I have a question, I hope you will answer. How do you know you have schizophrenia. If you saw someone draw things that resembled yours, almost to the same detail, could it be schizophrenia? My GF saw your article. I always tell her about my "experiences", but she pointed out that I was drawing things similar to someone who has schizophrenia. She's big into psychology, but for once, she was more interested that the things I was drawing were much like your drawings. Things that appear in a rainbow type color pattern, but things that are unnatural. Sorry to bother you with this. I know it may seem very strange. I drew a booklet of things I saw, that were just there, and then gone. She held up my pad to the screen and showed me a very similar drawing. SO, can two people who don't know each other, experience similar "hallucinations" I'm kind of amazed to be honest. Not like you can tell people you see things. I'm just babbling now. What are your thoughts.
Free Radical 6 years ago
It's not schizophrenia you have but demons around you. They are trying to to drive you crazy and to push you either to commit a suicide or to kill others. I've had this before. You can get rid of it do you go and see an Imam who knows to recite what they fall "ruqya". I seriously recommend you go to a nearest mosque and ask them about jinns and help you to get rid of it. Search about jinns in Islam on the Internet. You'll immediately realize what it is about. Good luck.
Shantal James 7 years ago
This is one of the most meaningful things I have seen this year... i don't actually know what to say. You have blown me away... the truth of it all is both mesmerising and terrifying... I'm stunned... thank you very much for sharing
Trip Conley 7 years ago
Your not alone in this I was diagnosed with Schizoaffective disorder so I too see and hear voices that tell me to do things but I also have Bipolar mood disorder as well so it makes me out of wack most of the time and leaving the house unless it sounds interesting is hard to do. I've ever gone to cutting myself to reflect be entertained. Finally for my senior project I wrote about mental health so people can fully understand that what it's really like to be diagnosed with the many disorders that are out there. I found that doing things I loved before I was diagnosed helps me like watching Star Wars or Batman and Funko Pops but people don't understand that it is difficult to live with this. Don't let your Schizophrenia get the better of you I know we are all different with how we deal with it but you are a pretty person if your religious then use that to help you.If you ever need to talk about it with someone who also has Schizophrenia then you can talk to me
Eva Huizinga 7 years ago
Thank you for your insight about your illness...you are a great artist and have a lot of courage!
José cruz y corro 7 years ago
I was diagnosed when I was 15, I know how painful this state of mind can be sometimes. Before I was diagnosed, I remember that I used to hurt myself and then forgetting about it, hearing noises and seeing things that just weren't there, remembering things differently, being depressed every day, all day. I just wanted to share this with you because, through your drawings I realized you are an amazing, beautiful person. Our minds can be difficult to live with, but I learned that they are also special since we experience things in a way no one else can, which of course can be horrible sometimes, but through those awful experiences, beautiful things such as your drawings can exist.
Zzz 7 years ago
Hi. I think some people are rude to people with mental problems just because they know nothing about it and others are just a******s. I didn't know much about it before I read "I morgen var jeg alltid en løve". I wish all people read it to understand this condition. You are brave and beautiful don't ever forget that, wish you all the best, sending bear hugs.
Leila Alban 7 years ago
Oh, my god! It's... something! This is the first time I can see what you, Kate, and people like you see. Please keep on sharing your wonderful (even scary) things you see. THANK YOU!
Kimberly Youngblood Julian 7 years ago
I see nothing but a beautiful, talented young lady with so much to give the world. Keep up the good work! Use your art and the gift you've been given to help others who experience the challenges of schizophrenia.
Tom Vendel 7 years ago
Amazing. U inspired me to draw the beings i've seen too. I started seeing weird entitys like your drawings after smoking dmt. The craziest thing about it is is that i'm sure they're real. In a mind frequence dimension or something. Anyway, a few of them were strangly part of me, like aspects of me. And some went away after fully accepting them. Its out of this world for some, but its pretty obvious that people gonna have to wake up from whats out there
Mandy Martinez 7 years ago
Wow, you are a great artist! Thanks for sharing, keep it up! Also, in the comments there is talk of a video....? Was it taken off maybe? I don't see it...
Clayton Johnson 7 years ago
I hate to tell you. I don't think this is schizophrenia. I think you completely lack the same receptors that LSD shuts off. It's rare but it happens.
Mei Godschild 7 years ago
You are brave! See if you like http://facebook.com/3in1GodChangesUs.
Narda Wakoluk 7 years ago
You wondrous being...sharing your world-view is so very important to everyone else becoming evolved. Thankyou for sharing. :)
Rochelle Jameson 7 years ago
Thank you. The lightening 's' as in the band acdc or kiss, is satanic occult symbolism. The Messiah and upside down cross also. I am so concerned that your torment is from "the dark side". It doesn't want you to know that Jesus is much more powerful. Can you try saying "in Jesus name be gone" or "by the blood of the lamb you have no authority here." Or anything along those lines. My heart goes out to you.
Cynthia Bethea 7 years ago
You are a beautiful person, inside and out. The illness in your brain is not anything you can control. While your art is amazing and helps you cope, I would strongly suggest that you seek a medication that will enable you to suffer less and get out more. They will have side effects, so be your own advocate and learn about the different formulations, efficacies, and side effects. Try until you find one that achieves the best results for you and the good outweighs the bad. You do not have to suffer like this. Best regards
Vladimir Tiltu 7 years ago
please just don't get caught by this "wave". If this is your photo, you don't seem to have major problems. You re right, in this case it is not exactly an illness, it is a state. Your drawings express a good and very talented hand. But the reality is not that bad, I would say there is nothing more romantic than reality :)
Bert Arnett 7 years ago
I am 45 and have schizophrenia. Not as visual as yours, mine more aural but keep up the good fight young lady. Never let anyone tell you you are not worth it. I understand the struggle and your drawings are great :) Much love to you and may your life be blessed with people who care.
Elena Gadeva 7 years ago
You are really talented, keep up with you art.It helps not only sharing your feelings but be who you really are and feel good about it. I surely can't feel what you feel but I've felt the power of art and the positive influence that it has on me, even in the hardest moments of inner struggle with myself.
John Dermitzakis 7 years ago
First thing I thought after looking at your drawing and reading what you wrote was I wanted to hug you of course I can't exactly understand what you have to go trough every day but suffering from a constant urge to harm others I know how exhausting it can get so the best thing I can do through the internet is say don't allow it to break you and because I liked your drawings here you go I think it is fitting at least some verses :P (because I know people are gonna b***h no I'm not trying to hit on you through the net) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=unzSe-36sSE
Matt Hensley 7 years ago
i loved your article and your art. I wish i had your talent. I too suffer from the same affliction as you. I spent many many years being misdiagnosed. I'm 39 now and i wasn't officially diagnosed with Schizophrenia until i was nearly 26. And, as i'm sure your well aware of yourself, it was no picnic all those years of not knowing what was going with me. And why i couldn't find anything that really seemed to help. But i have always been somewhat of "doodler". But even at my best times I don't have the talent as you have. It was suggested to me by a doctor to try basically the same thing you do. But i've never been able to really put to paper (to my satisfaction, anyway) what all is going on in my head. Or the things i see. But seeing your drawings and reading the captions you put with them is awesome. I can literally feel where your coming from. Its a new and a little weird feeling. I wish you nothing but the best in the future. And thank you so much for sharing
Terry Johnson 7 years ago
A heart-breaking illness but the beauty and brilliance within you shine through in your artwork! Be well!
Ulises Folh 7 years ago
Love the bird. And when you are feeling "insignificant" don't wish that you felt different. FEEL IT for as long as it is there. The universe is not in a constant state all the time. Sooner or later this feeling will have to go. Whether you like it or not.
Ulises Folh 7 years ago
When a voice inside of you tell you to set things on fire, why take it literally? Fire transforms things from one state to another. Maybe you can change the world around you. Not necessarily burn it.
Annie Waters 7 years ago
I really like your art work, your style is unique and engaging. have you thought about exhibiting? Wishing you your wishes.
Stavan Parikh 7 years ago
Hello Kate, I can really get what you hv been going through. I hv a similar story like you, being labelled with many mental illnesses before I was diagnosed with social anxiety. You are really beautiful girl. And through your sketches I can really see that you are extremely talented. I would like to say sincerely that you are a gift in this world, just fight against all odds and trust me you will be able to get the life you want.
Desmond Miles 7 years ago
I think if I tried drawing mine, it would make it slightly more difficult to ignore...
Michelle Faith 7 years ago
My husband has schizophrenia as well, more severe than yours. I would love to reach out to you and maybe help in anyway that I can. Please look me up on facebook. https://www.facebook.com/guineapigs87
Julie Gilbert 7 years ago
Dear Katie, you are a very very good illustrator. May I suggest an on line distance art course. You would be excellent and it could be a fantastic career that you could persue from home if you would prefer that. Regards Julie Gilbert xx
Daniela Ciman 7 years ago
Thank you for sharing this. This is so beautiful. My late brother had schizophrenia and this has helped me to see more of what he was going through. A beautiful soul is so much more important than a beautiful face:) always remember that. You are beautiful inside regardless of how you look on the outside. You have made my soul happy today, by sharing this, I really feel that is why we were blessed with people with schizophrenia, to keep us present and aware of what the soul feels, sees and needs as soul food.
Sandrine Hervé 7 years ago
Your art is truly inspiring. It's just sad that people will judge you negatively because of that and claim it's god gift or satan work. It not the best way to raise awareness, it just scares people even more... truly not everyone is as strong as you. Keep up and I hope it helps you feel better!
Chris Calkins 7 years ago
Kate, thanks for your courage in putting this out into the world. There is a new student group starting at Penn State called Students With Schizophrenia, their founder is Cecilia McGough and I know she would be open to talking with you if you ever want to connect. Here is a link to the groups facebook page. https://www.facebook.com/studentswithschizophrenia/
Fox Hardy 7 years ago
I love how all of the Religious fanatics come out of the woodwork to tell someone who has a mental illness with hallucinations that Jesus and God is real 😂😂😂😂. Religious or not that just sounds ridiculous. Her hallucinations are more realistic...they've actually been seen by someone. Faith healing people with schizophrenia is a HORRIBLE idea. They are often hyper-focused on religion and base many of their actions on what their delusions and hallucinations tell them to do. So if one day she decided to kill a bunch of babies because God, angels, doves, or Jesus told her to do it you a******s would feel pretty damn stupid. Oh wait it has happened. A mother of 8 killed her children because of a dove told her to and she took it as a sign from God. https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.brisbanetimes.com.au/queensland/schizophrenia-at-its-very-depths-drove-mother-to-kill-eight-children-20170503-gvyf42.html
Vicki Henderson 7 years ago
Wow Kate, you are incredibly unique! I empathize with you and your struggle with Schizophrenia. This illness is in my family and my sister always talks about bugs being in her ears and I see how my mother often feels interrogated by these voices that speak to her and seeing lightning fly across a room, to me these are definitely highly perceptive sensory development unexplained things that occur to many which cannot be explained. Much love to you Kate, keep up your artwork, your inspiring many who are struggling, I'm very certain of that. Bless you!
Night Angel 7 years ago
Girl, your gorgeous. I don't pretend to know how you feel. The struggle is real. Way to make your struggles into something beautiful
George Boorer 7 years ago
Have you tried doing other things like hobbies , sport, gardening. Even if you dont feel like it. It will help you crawl your way out of this depression
Grant Allen 7 years ago
You are beautiful and your artwork is wonderful. You also seem very intelligent. Thanks for sharing your work. Hope your day is going well!
Richard Lawson 7 years ago
Brilliant art, great writing. Inspiration to others living with schizophrenia. Thanks.
Byron Bright 7 years ago
I have schizoaffective disorder and I have to deal with hallucinations as well. Most of mine are auditory hallucinations and those are bad enough, but the visual hallucinations can be the worst. Thankfully my meds keep a lot of these away now. I still hear voices quite a bit and I also deal with the low self-esteem and self worth, or lack thereof. I sincerely hope you can find some relief from it, because I know it can be hell. A very lonely hell. Much love to you.
Tommie Wilhite 7 years ago
I want to thank you, my 45 year old daughter is schizophrenic, and your pictures help me to understand what she cannot or will not explain.
Auraiam Dasep 7 years ago
These are lovely paintings and illustration, keep making more. I see it as your muse speaking to you. Excellent work.
Polaris Garfield 7 years ago
Thank you. You are a beautiful and brave young artist. I agree with a lot of your feelings regarding the term "mental illness" and the loss of personhood a diagnosis often causes. Your life has value, especially to the memory of those who lost their freedom or their lives to schizophrenia. It sounds like your folks are supportive & loving, too, which is such a blessing. Thanks again for sharing your art. There are many galleries that would be thrilled to support you, too!
Polaris Garfield 7 years ago
You are a beautiful and brave young artist. Thank you. I agree with a lot of your feelings about the label "mental illness" and the loss of personhood a diagnosis can cause. Your life is valuable, especially to the memory of those who lost their lives or freedom to schizophrenia.
Elena Nakovska 7 years ago
You are beautiful more than you can understand, so when you feel insignifficant, read this! It' s amazing what you experience and even though it seems quite difficult to deal with the negativeness, it is incerdibly creative! Hang in there and thanks for sharing! Elea- violinist
Dag Kristoffersen 7 years ago
Awesome that you have found such a positive way of expressing and processing your experiences. I wish you all the best!
Dag Kristoffersen 7 years ago
It is so awesome that you have found such a positive way to express and process your experience. I wish you all the best!
Slava Chemodanov 7 years ago
Your drawings are amazing! Also you are quite beautiful so you don't have to steal anyone else's
Richard Austen 7 years ago
This is frankly terrifying. Constant hallucinations of the images you have drawn is like living in a constant horror movie. I have only had one hallucination when I was about 8 and had the Measles and saw giant blue balls chasing me - fever of 103 etc. I am 43 and remember it to this day and that was just a one off experience. To have walls moving and weird spidery things coming out of the ceiling. I don't know - we need to triple the number of scientists working on this stuff and working triple shifts. It's as if something has hijacked the imagination center of the brain and made a wrong connection to the visual and other sensory parts of the brain.
The Great Fox 7 years ago
Can I write to you. I think I can relate pretty well. Sorry to bother if you want to be left alone though.
Andrew Moore 7 years ago
A Canadian psychiatrist named Abram Hoffer found a temporary cure for schizophrenia via Niacin over 50 years ago. There's a documentary called, "Feed Your Head" (2010).
Ben Petersen 7 years ago
Kate, I host a D&D group and I had 2 thoughts about your situation. First, I was thinking your hallucinations would actually make great monsters for D&D for players to battle against, which led to my second thought which was, that may be a possible therapeutic solution for you. Just a thought, maybe it's good, maybe it's complete c**p. I would like to talk with you about it sometime, however, if you are up for it.
Arrshie Singh 7 years ago
oh dear you are so gorgeous and so positive, what lovely work of art. Stay blessed
Ella Sherman 7 years ago
That would scare the c**p outta me. She is so brave and smart and wonderful at drawing. I'm glad she could find something to cope
Kimberly Cline 7 years ago
Your art is truly amazing. I hope you can continue to use it as a means to help people better understand schizophrenia and mental illness.
Kimberly Cline 7 years ago
The stigma that many times comes with mental illness needs to be erased and I applaud people like yourself who are honest and help otherssee
Load More Replies... Mary Collaco 7 years ago
I just wanted to say that you are very beautiful and very talented .. and it hurts that he did that to you.. unfortunately people are like that and it was not your fault..
Miss MonMon 7 years ago
You are very talented. Thanks for showing this through your art. It gives me a better understanding. Some of the eye drawings are very similar to my artworks, which is spooky.
Teri Shaw 7 years ago
Thank you for sharing! My son developed schizophrenia at age 17 and has been unable to share what he deals with on a daily basis. I agree, the stigma is prevalent, but as you share your experiences, people will begin to understand the reality of this serious illness. Keep moving forward.
Jo-Ann Innes 7 years ago
I have a friend who struggles w it. Thanks to your sharing your story, I feel like I can understand alittle better, what he deals with
Kimberly Grau (Red Moth Art) 7 years ago
You're quite a pretty lady,so don't feel bad! It's also really nice to see how you quantify your illness through art. It's a way to connect to the world, even if we all don't understand it. On a more personal note, I have to say, that it's comforting how you acknowledge what you have, but still are not held down by it. I wish my family members whoa also suffers from mental illness would be more open like that. It would really help them and everyone around them. Oh well, dare to dream. :-) Great job and inspiring story.
Tari Anne Kareidis 7 years ago
I can't imagine what a horror it must be to live with schizophrenia. My heart goes out to you. I love your artwork and I'm glad you are able to find an outlet. I wish you every blessing.
Mindi Oakes 7 years ago
Hi Kate. I wish you lived near me. I would be a friend. My brother was once diagnosed as Schizophrenic because at that time medical "wisdom" believed that only schizophrenics have hallucinations. I later discovered that my parents, my brother, and I ALL have different forms of bipolar disorder. My brother had hallucinations, couldn't deal with side effects of all the "wrong" meds, and eventually put himself out of his misery. I constantly have to resist the same urge. I struggle with most of your emotional problems too. I applaud you for being public and I hope you don't have to stay in your solitude more than you want to. God bless you. You ARE one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen, in case you can't tell. Your artworks are very attractive to me. I wish you a happy life. Please let me know if I can ever help you.
Caroline dial 7 years ago
mercancía no inserta un número de calorías, sin embargo, desencadena una reacción robusta junto con las sustancias químicas que se materializan para estar ahora en el cuerpo.
Guillaume de Bassompierre 7 years ago
I read a wonderful autobiographic illustrated novel written about the childhood memories of a man whose brother suffered from acute Epilepsia. It's not quite the same as schizophrenia, obviously, but his treatment of how the illness affected his brother and his relationship with the world is something that could probably touch you. The fact that it is beautifully illustrated makes it all the more poignant. Here's a link to its English translation (originally written in French). Hope you enjoy it: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epileptic_(comics)
John Clarke 7 years ago
Really great to see how you are finding your own unique path through the mire and even better that we get to see your artwork - I love it.
John Clarke 7 years ago
Great to see how you are finding your own uniquely creative way through the mire and what a bonus for me and many others that you are prepared to share your artwork.
Алексей Костин 7 years ago
it was so interesting to see world through your mind. I remember professor Nesh who had same diagnose. It doesn't stop him to learn mathematic and receive Nobile award. I hope you will be ok.
Brandyce LeeAnne 7 years ago
I think you're drying should be in an art display. I hope they put you on antidepressants I have bipolar and they help me a lot. Therapy I also helped and talking with my friends and family. I don't want you to live your life cooped up yes it is in illness and yes you have to deal with it just like I do with mine. You are already an artist and a public speaker so your illness has helped you to figure out who you are and the best outlet for you is a form of therapy not just for you but for many many others because you shared your story. By the way my favorite pictures are the bird and the redeye I would buy those in an art gallery. You are a beautiful person inside and out thank you for sharing your story it touched my heart 😊
Susan Young 7 years ago
You seem to have a real handle on your illness and that's probably why you are the master of your life. I don't want to make light of this awful illness, but have you ever had a "good" hallucination? Wouldn't it be great if you thought you saw thousands of butterflies come out of your ceiling vent? I've never heard of any schizophrenic having a benign hallucination.
Melody Hunter 7 years ago
I'm so sorry about how you saw yourself in the mirror. Your picture is absolutely gorgeous. You are very beautiful. Don't let anyone tell you different. God bless you.
MaddySquidCat 7 7 years ago
yOU'RE BEAUTIFUL MY GIRL, YOUR ART IS AMAZING I WISH I COULD DRAW LIKE THAT! :(
Steve Shagwell 7 years ago
This is what strength looks like. You kinda made my day. Keep persevering
Lisa Naomi Herrmann 7 years ago
Your drawings are amazing, YOU are amazing for sharing this! You are beautiful, I wish you all the best <3
John Beardsley 7 years ago
when I was college age in the 60's I had two friends who developed schizophrenia. Two of the best and brightest. you seem to be handling if amazingly well. God speed.
John Beardsley 7 years ago
When I was college age I had two friends develop schizophrenia. two of the best and brightest. you seem to be handling it much better than they were able to. God speed to you.
Robert Wood 7 years ago
This was something I knew existed but this has helped me understand what the condition is like. I have had hallucinations when I was younger but not in a while. Thanks Kate, please keep up the art work.
Lisa Finlay 7 years ago
You are beautiful and so is your artwork. Thank you so much for telling others what your world is like.
Cathie Warboy 7 years ago
First of all, I need to say that before I even looked beyond your photo to any of your art, I told myself what a pretty young woman you are. I am so sorry that you, and others, go through this. I haven't seen the TED talk that Wezbie referenced, but I will be sure to do so. Bless you all.
Shmarya Rosenberg 7 years ago
You're a *very* talented artist and what you've done by posting your art and writing here is very important. It will help many people. Please consider expanding this into a graphic book or even a series of posts like this one. Thank you so much for sharing this with us.
Tevna Tayler 7 years ago
Hi Kate, I think it is really cool that you are drawing what you see and sharing it :-) I'm a naturopathic physician who has suffered from depression most of my life - suicidal when I was your age - and I just wanted to tell you that I learned in naturopathic medical school (from which I graduated at age 41, after doing other things with my life first) that brain symptoms, just like other symptoms, can be due to genetic metabolic issues and schizophrenia is often associated with disorders of vitamin metabolism, often the B vitamins, and some fats, among other things related to minerals and other vitamins. I am not practicing right now, and I don't remember details, but I wanted you to know that there are tests to find the metabolism oddities and specially formulated supplements of vitamins and amino acids and fats that can get around the metabolic deficiency so that the body can absorb them. Homeopathy is also extremely effective for treating schizophrenia, as it is with many things.
Eileen Broughal 7 years ago
I think she is a very strong and brave woman. Keep drawing . Keep safe and may God Bless you.
Eileen Broughal 7 years ago
I think she one of it the bravest women I have read about. God Bless you and may he keep you always safe
Nadine Beaudin 7 years ago
I really am in my own bubble and hearing about your life experiences help me see a bit better. I wish you the best and hope you are able to live your life the best you can
Lorin Jenis 7 years ago
I was diagnosed with Paranoid Schizophrenia in 1995. I visited four different mental hospitals that year. I soon learned that if I behaved in a completely "normal" way outwardly, no matter what chaos occurred in my mind, I could stay out of the hospitals. I was an outpatient at a county mental health clinic until this year. At first I took 800 mg. a day of Seroquel, but by 2016 took only 200 mg. a day. Individual and group therapy helped me, but I received the greatest benefit from a course in computer technology at a local community college. I graduated with two certificates in computer repair and networking and set up a home business with more than 100 faithful clients. Computer technology forced me to use my mind in a completely different way than I did when I "saw" and "heard" things. I had to focus, think, and calculate, not just daydream. I also write and express my subjective side, but now I am free from drugs and psychiatrists.
Carl Horton 7 years ago
She does not need to shape shift into a "prettier person" she is already a very beautiful young lady, and an extremely talented artist ! On a personal note, I found this article incredibly useful as I am a student mental health nurse and I often have difficulty trying to visualise what a patient's hallucinations look like when they are talking with and trying to describe them. This is a very valuable insight
Lisa Mahaffey 7 years ago
Most people recover - some people completely recover, most have some voices or visions all their life but they are manageable. Your work is really wonderful - use it to understand what those visions are telling you - (not literally). Check out Eleanor Longdon's TED talk and the Hearing Voice Network. Also look for work by Larry Davidson. Schizophrenia is doesn't have to rule your world. Thanks for talking about it!!
Ailish Riain 7 years ago
everything has consciousness - and i believe you are in touch with that. and your picture of the fly with the flowers - you don't need to steal anyone''s prettiness because you are your own prettiness - in fact you are a "Kate shaped beauty." take your lemons and make lots and lots and lots of different flavoured lemonade.
Barrie Collins 7 years ago
Like your work. As an artist I've always felt on the edge of society, so that I've come to regard myself as normal and all the 'strights' as mentally ill.
Sarah Hancock 7 years ago
I love your artwork. I understand the shimmering, swirling of a "blank" wall, ceiling, or floor. The bugs came under extreme stress. I could only describe it to others as endless multiple streams of roaches --like in "Men in Black" when he kicks the trash can and they all come pouring out. I was lost for 12 years I was lost. Trapped in the world of schizophrenia. Like you, I felt alone. Helpless. Hopeless and stigmatized. Gratefully that is not the case any more. The first step was finding a peer support specialist to act as a mentor through this wild world. She taught the tricks of the trade. My life is amazing now. You are just at the very beginning of your journey. Keep drawing, keep learning and hold onto the hope that things can and will get exponentially better. I'm the evidence. You can hold tightly to my hope until you find your own. You are not broken. You are not crazy. http://www.nauvootimes.com/cgi-bin/nauvoo_column.pl?number=102915&author=sarah-hancock#.WPmYE_dlDqA
Benita Abel 7 years ago
I admire your strength of character Kate, to openly tell the world about what happens in your illness. The world is very judging in how it views these type of illnesses however if more people like you would explain what it is like in reality instead of movies it surely would change people's point of view.
Caroline Wiley 7 years ago
You are beautiful.......it would be awesome to show you through my eyes!! You are gorgeous, strong, smart to be able to handle life as it's been given you! God bless Dear heart.💐💐
Caroline Wiley 7 years ago
Beautiful young lady....I wish I could show you that beauty through my eyes..💐💜......gorgeous. I salute you for your strength and bravery. God bless you dear!💐
lemontzz aide 7 years ago
Love your stuff! You are so talented & its great that you can give your experience visual expression, to help others understand what you haveto cope with! Thanks for sharing! Good luck to you
Jeanne Pittion 7 years ago
I don't know if you will read this. Usually, I never leave a comment but your article touched me. I can't really explain, I just felt. I was reading and thinking "I have so much things I would tell to her". First, you are not alone. I had big problems and I know a little what it is to have hallucinations. Unfortunately, we don't come from the same country, I'm sure we would have been friends. I wish you the best, you look amazing.
Mikaela Hyland 7 years ago
You're doing great :) My dad has schizophrenia and is leading a mostly functional and happy life now, but at your age and until around 35 he really struggled. The media completely warps things and that makes it even harder on those who have it. It's brave and genuinely helpful to open up to the world about your experiences. Keep breaking stereotypes and kicking a*s :)
Annette Schmidt 7 years ago
Bless your heart, and Thank you for putting yourself out there, on behalf of all those coping with the same, to simply describe what you experience. Removing the fear is the first step to being understood.
Þórir Óskarsson 7 years ago
Wow, really beautiful, thank you for sharing ! These artworks really spoke to me on a deep level
Magnus Wilson 7 years ago
I write about my hallucinations to help me, I often put them in RPG games I run to remind myself that they are not real.
Beatrix Kiddo 7 years ago
Thank you. I am sure by sharing your story and your art you have touched many. Your art especially touched me. My son has schizophrenia. He is 30. It seems a little more extreme than what you have described. Your pictures have helped me to understand what I was imaging he sees is not nearly as scary as what he actually sees. I am in awe of your talent and strength.
Steven Whittaker-Jones 7 years ago
You don't need to shapeshift Kate, you couldn't be more beautiful than you are already. I love the artwork and wish you well in dealing with your schizophrenia.
Zeenat Karim 7 years ago
Learning from the articles or documentaries on this significant condition, I always felt very sympathetic for those enduring it consistently and only imagined their feelings. But seeing your paintings is such a deeper insight, a direct perspective through your eyes. You're extremely brave to be forthcoming & sharing your thoughts. And ofcourse a very talented artist too.
Devon Rubicco 7 years ago
My mind is like yours my love. You are not alone. I'm here if you ever actually see this post.
Charlotte Murphy 7 years ago
It takes a confident person to share that kind of story, which you live everyday. I am glad i read this it puts things in perspective, it is nice to see that you channel it into your art work which shows that your are very talented. I think it is wrong that people are labelled 'mentally ill' as this is part of your life it is part of who you are it does not define you as a person. I am glad you shared your art work as it is brilliant, don't feel like you should hide away from the world as people would be glad to have you in there life as you are an inspiration to me and many others. x
Christopher LoGiudice 7 years ago
You are so beautifu inside and out. An asset for anyone that gets to have you in their life. Stick to your guns!
Fear staoir 7 years ago
Moved me. I replied with my first article on this site..... hope it doesn't take anything away from the power of this post. I was inspired :) Hils from Fear Staoir
Linda Eff 7 years ago
My dear, I am a therapist who has worked with people with schizophrenia for many years. They're brilliant, straight up, honest, and can lead full lives. Medication, advocacy, and, honesty will get you far. You're so young-18. Your brain hasn't fully developed to the point of learning how to handle all emotions. Judgment/decision making doesn't kick in until about 20. Give yourself time to grow, etc.. Have you ruled out ptsd? Because ptsd symptoms can complicate things. Baring that, you have your whole life ahead of you. Schizophrenia is a managebale condition..just like diabetes. If I eat to much sugar, I'll go hay wire. If I have schizophrenia and take my medication, and use excellent coping skills, and spend some time empowering, rather than knocking myself, I'll be in a better place. Beautiful way to cope. You have your whole future ahead of you, and it will be brilliant, work on the self esteem. Be happy, embrace yourself, your hallucinations are a part of who you are. One part.
Shane Blackwell 7 years ago
Excellent expression, amazing technique and super talented, not to mention brave. Thank you for showing your strength.
Michelle Boyle 7 years ago
Thank you for sharing your story and artwork....You are very talented! I have heard that many with Schizophrenia do extremely well on Homeopathy.....I suggest if you would like to try this, that you find a qualified classical Homeopath.
Pille Varmann 7 years ago
Just continue doing that. These pictures are very capturing and you've found a wonderful tool for yourself.
Ricardo Puyana 7 years ago
Thanks for sharing your story, I suffered from an anxiety disorder and it let me to have a really dificult time until I knew what it was an was able to controll it, I just hated that my mind played with my fears making them seem so real so I can only imagine what you must feel. Hope you know you are not alone and are a very talented person who makes the world better.
Sondre Strøm Linde 7 years ago
Pretty interesting stuff. And scary. One thing tho, you are worthless like a fly. Just like every other living thing. We are worthless, the existence is worthless. It's ok.
Sandra Thompson 7 years ago
You are a beautiful , STRONG young woman , very talented , now on my mind and in my prayers !
stuart crawford 7 years ago
This is fascinating. I have had fairly severe paranoia in the past where my reality has become completely warped. Having things appear to you as halluciantions must be an overwhelming and frightening thing to deal with. I hope sharing has helped you cope with things a little easier. Great work.
Ashley Babcock 7 years ago
I love your art! Where can I see more? You should sell prints on Etsy or something.
Kavya Sudhakar 7 years ago
Actually, even I see, hear and feel things which are not physically present. Till now I never realized itt may become serious.. I've just learnt to make peace with it. It's not scary always but it creeps the hell out of me. I shout out scared and yes, I too see a lot of bugs. Thanks for sharing your story Kate.
Carly Roper 7 years ago
I would really really love to have a conversation with you! You're not crazy, you're special. People were born like this b4 the diagnosis and were revered. It would be awesome to pick such an amazing mind, and maybe connect with someone who's similar to me in a way I haven't really spoken to anyone else about.
Mark Teeter 7 years ago
I had the same issues. Here's my art if you're interested www.lionwolfenganger.deviantart.com I think a lot of people aren't diagnosed but have the same problems.
Mark Teeter 7 years ago
I did the same with the same issues as you. Here's my art if you're interested www.lionwolfenganger.deviantart.com I think there's a lot of un-diagnosed people with these same things
Laura Mish 7 years ago
This was such an interesting article. Thank you for sharing something so private. You are very brave and seen much more mature than 18 years old. Your pictures are fascinating to me. The brain works in mysterious ways. Did the doctor ever say what is going on in your brain that causes such terrible hallucinations? Does the medication help them to occur less frequently? I empathize with seeing the things that you do. You just be terrified at time. Again, thank you for sharing. You are a beautiful unique human being and I'm sure there are many who can learn from you.
Joe Bowie 7 years ago
as someone who has a less severe case of schizophrenia, you have given me hope that i can too can cope with this and i hope you know you mare not alone in this fight. You never know who you can have an effect on, so keep pursuing your art and dont let this disease conquer you, idk if i like calling this a disease but idk what else to call it, maybe a higher state of consciousness i still dont know. but in the words of cat stevens, im on the road to find out
Abb Kapoor 7 years ago
This was amazing. Your art is truely spectacular. Thank you for sharing!!
Carolyn Hehir 7 years ago
You are courageous and beautiful. Please continue to share your talents with the world. Thank you for making me understand and for being a voice for those that suffer from this .
Carolyn Hehir 7 years ago
God bless you, kid. Your work is amazing. Please continue to share it with the world. You are helping so many people who are misunderstood and have no voice. You are courageous and beautiful.
Alex Knight 7 years ago
You are a brave and beautiful and talented young woman. Thank you for sharing your story. My heart goes out to you.
Alex Knight 7 years ago
You are a brave and beautiful and talented young woman. Thank you for telling your story, and my heart goes out to you.
Debe Callihan 7 years ago
I lived in an apartment building many years ago, and had a friend on the third floor...for a few years we were friends, until I moved. Sometimes she would open the door to say it wasn't a good time to visit. Over time, she let me know why...She had Schizophrenia. I respected her need to be alone when she didn't "feel right", and when she was "better", we played cards or went shopping. She was a good person, but kept a small, understanding, circle of friends.
Ian David Taylor 7 years ago
Your amazing, Love your art.. The Messiah, i drew ones kinda similar to it.. I see alot. Constant, unpredictable morphing faces & countless whispers. cope with the art mostly, n piano and photos. i try treating it like a game. My instas @iantaylors if u wanna c
Kawaii Lemon 7 years ago
I don't have schizophrenia, but I have mild depression (Or at least it feels like it) and I often feel like I need my friends there for me, but I can only see them once a week, so I made two imaginary friends, so we're a trio, like Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup. Kyou is Buttercup, Haru is Bubbles, and I'm meant to be Blossom, but less smartish
Isabelle Gray 7 years ago
You are a wonderful my gifted young lady. I feel he struggles as olive with severe depression that has at times made me hullicinate.its horrible and scary. I really wish you everything wonderful in ur life and sending u so much love.thankyou for being you and raising g awareness xxx
Zakiyah Gray 7 years ago
This hurt my heart. I feel for you. You are very brave, talented, and beautiful. Please know this.
Scott Randall 7 years ago
It is very brave of you to share your artwork. I found it very moving. You are a strong and beautiful person. Please keep sharing.
Yamil Perez 7 years ago
The most important thing as a person in your mental state is that you can always recognize the difference between good and evil. Your mind will sink into a deep state of darkness and you may see all kinds of horrible things and sometimes you may also question your own conscience. Never allow your mental state to question your conscience. You still have the free will to be a good person. That's something that the schizophrenia can never take away from you. It's a great first step that you recognize it and decided to do something about it. That's true personal growth.
Amélie Côté 7 years ago
You did a great thing by sharing your art work. It definitely gets people to talk about it and helps get rid of the stigma attached to it. I love how I can actually FEEL your emotions just by looking at your drawings. Keep it up :)
Lenka Macellari 7 years ago
This girl is a real artist and I feel thankful seeing her art and how she describes herself living in this world with her mental illness, is just amazing, because finally she is very conscious about everything and can differentiate pretty well those parallel worlds. Also, when I was reading her story and looking the drawings came immediately to my mind the movie "Nise: the heart of madness" related with the famous Brazilian psychiatrist Nise da Silveira and her "art treatment" on patients with mental illness. I highly recommend to everyone see this movie, heartbreaking and with an incredible result.
Shane Weiant 7 years ago
I also have a diagnosis of paranoid schizophrenia but I just have auditory hallucinations. I love your art. Kate, you are so beautiful. As far as I know I don't have visual hallucinations. I would guess that visual hallucinations are really difficult to deal with. The audiotory hallucinations I have tell me to hurt myself and argue with me as well as insult me. Hollywood portrays paranoid schizophrenic people in bad light most of the time. I consider myself psychic and have since 6 years old. Psychic skills and talents can positively explain the phenomenon instead of explaining it via paranoid schizophrenia. Clairvoyance seeing with the third eye interdimensional beings or other beings or seeing spirits (both good and evil) or other third eyes. Clairaudience hearing interdimensional beings or other beings or evil entity or hearing very far away. Try meditation. I hope I don't offend you at all. I have a diagnosis of asperger's syndrome.
Hunter Stephenson 7 years ago
I have bipolar and possibly schizotypal of some kind. I'm glad to see someone can put down the visuals. I've always wondered what they looked like to people. Thank you for putting yourself out there.
Leeland Booysen 7 years ago
You are a very strong and beautiful person , both inside and out. Judging my your drawings, i'll say pretty intellegent too. So far you are dealibg with this beautifully and from what I see, there is very much beauty in your mind..... keep string and take control, I belive in you ❤
Teresa Banks 7 years ago
Thank you for sharing your pictures, thoughts and experiences. I am so grateful that none of my stuff is on a severe level like you have to deal with. I do appreciate the fact that you are so candid and open , sharing it like you have.It's so important that we stop stigmatizing mental health issues and face them instead. It's still looked at negatively. My daughter sought help for drug withdrawals, depression, suicidal thoughts. Now she is doing so good and I couldn't be more proud.She got cleaned up, is with her fiance, 3 1/2 months pregnant & working full time. Now that she looked for help , they are holding that against her. She will be drug tested monthly and then when the baby is born, they will automatically call CPS. Even if there is no danger to the child. Hell she won't take tylenol & shaved her head,so as not to expose the baby to the hair dye. Yet it is being used against her, and not seen as a good for seeking help. Ty for sharing though. :) I wish the best for you.
Miriel Bresett 7 years ago
I think you are so pretty! I am sorry that you are suffering with this schizophrenia and hope you can be helped.
Edyta Ronska 7 years ago
Hi , I am shzophrenic also , I really how you feel and what you see...... I am on medicine aripiprazol 20mg which is helping me pretty much to coop in with this sickness every single day for last about 6 years. You are very talented and brave girl. Accept your self felling special because you at. Wishing you all the best in life.
Sharron Hardwick 7 years ago
Wow you are awesome! Giving people real insight into scytzopnrenia. Thank you for your strength and courage....a true artist
Micah “Sinvex” Munger 7 years ago
Dunno what you look like through your own eyes but you're gorgeous. I love how you've drawn and painted.
Helen Hassall 7 years ago
Thank's Kate for sharing, as a mother of our son who was diagnosed at the same age I am struggling to understand what he is going through but you describe it beautifully you are so talented. Thank youxx
Charlene Adams 7 years ago
Wow good for you to bring this to the main stream so others can see the problems you are suffering with .I empathize with you and others who have this problem I hope you can find some kinda relief from this sickness. I wish you the best
Robert Colburn 7 years ago
You are not alone. Many people see what you see. The things I see are too horrible to make a paper image of. I wish there was some way we could connect and talk about this. There is so much I have to share with you.
Ania Vdzińsk 7 years ago
hold on! remember that you are the master of all those strange creatures in your mind - you set the rules, don't forget about it - fingers crossed for you and your talent!
Ross Bradfield 7 years ago
I've often thought there may be more to schizophrenia than just a mental disorder...like abilities to see into the world that exists right next to ours, but one normal humans cannot see. It IS true that there are many spectrums of reality we cannot perceive. Whether creatures like this exist there is yet to be explored or proven, but I think there's a very good chance! Whatever the case, these creatures cannot hurt you. So if you have to live with them, what you are doing by making use of them is a great idea! I would encourage you to focus on developing your art and attempt to exploit them in some form of media. See if you can make a living off of your experiences! I think the best ideas in media have come from people like you who see these things. I think you are very capable of turning a negative into a positive here. It may not be the most ideal situation for you, but you might as well find success in suffering you cannot eliminate! Good luck to you!
Mgdme 7 years ago
Part 2. I am lucky her family let me help I don’t dance around difficult subjects, I just feel taking it straight on is being honest, and when her world was telling her other things, she knew she could trust me and trust that I would be telling the truth and what was real. I took this approach with my sister for her to realize she had to take charge of her own world. Of course I would always be there, but she needed to start making the right choices that helped her illness and not fight against it. I hope you have someone like that in your life right now. If you don’t, you need to ask someone to be that person and have a conversation with them now so that if something happens with your world, you will be able to trust them and trust they have the very best intentions for you even if you don’t agree. I wanted to share my experience with you as you shared yours. Your story touched me and I wanted to let you know your not alone. You are very brave and very beautiful.
Nelson Barss 7 years ago
Thank you for sharing. Although some of these drawings are scary I hope you keep drawing.
Mgdme 7 years ago
Kate, I want to first thank you for sharing your story. It's so very hard for other people to understand what schizophrenia is, let alone how it impacts a person’s life. Your self-portrait illustration just floored me. It gives me a little clue how my sister feels in this world. It was only until recently that she was able to accept her diagnosis, which has made a huge improvement in her life. Your acceptance so early is incredibly brave and I believe will give you an advantage and a positive impact on your life going forward. You need to take those moments when they come along. Part 1.
Dan Santos 7 years ago
I think your view of the world is amazing. Not saying that it's like a prize or anything. But maybe in a way it is. Your art is beautiful. You should do like a gallery or an entry shop or something and then maybe the proceeds can go to schizophrenia research or something
David Calcagni 7 years ago
Very talented and very beautiful! Keep drawing. It's your gift. I started hearing voices at 34 years old and it was very scary for me, but you can cope. Glad you are doing something to cope. Personally, I like to write poetry. Schizophrenics can be very creative, and this helps if we're alone a lot of the time. I wish you all the best Kate. Never give up.
David Calcagni 7 years ago
Very talented and very beautiful. Keep drawing. It's your gift. I started hearing voices when I was 34 years old. Strangest thing I ever endured and very scary to me. My outlet is poetry, so if you have a gift use it well. I wish you all the best Kate.
Liana Sarfaty 7 years ago
Beautiful. You're a talented artist. Thank you for sharing, as someone who also suffers from mental illness I feel it is important to speak to the public about our experiences so they can better understand what mental illness really is and not just some scary thing. People are afraid of what they don't understand. Not to mention if they understand it they can better help those who suffer from mental illness. Your drawings will likely speak to many people, even those who don't have a mental illness, because they are emotions every humans feels as one point or another, it's just with mental illness it is intensified and often way more difficult to manage. Your drawings are sort of like metaphors for human emotions. We all experience really ugly, dark emotions just like we experience beautiful, light emotions. You have a bright future because you already at such a young age seem to understand your mental illness and have found a way to cope and live with it. You are an inspiration! <3
Harleyanne Grant 7 years ago
This is beautiful, I have such a hard time explaining to other people the bugs and fuzzy black shadow men that I sometimes see, I am glad that you have found such an amazing coping method that allows you to express your reality :)
Ivan Kehelly 7 years ago
Love your art. Also just let it in that you are beautiful. I work with people who often have schizophrenia and it is a world I will never really get but I do think whatever state of mind you are in there are ways to be with it that enables you to have a life worth living.
Joyce Bramlish-Robinson 7 years ago
You are AMAZING! What a wonderful artist & I think your art depicts a window into what you are dealing with your mental illness. That is huge!! You are beautiful and even more beautiful how you are using your situation to give you an extraordinary purpose in helping people understand how awful this can be. Do you know how incredible that is!! I'm so impressed with you.
Phoenix Fury78 7 years ago
I suffer similarly, seeing things, hearing things, voices, and smells. Have struggled with this since I was 16. Only a very small handful of people know. Sometimes I wish I could draw, so I could illustrate the messed up things I see/hear, but half of them are terrifying or gross, and not things I would want to see aside from when I'm forced to. Not like a movie you can just turn off, stop, or fast forward when you get to parts you don't like. You are truly talented. Good luck, and keep on fighting the good fight...for your sanity.
Crystal Gentile-Porter 7 years ago
You've helped so many people just now by sharing. Others could benefit from doing the same. Will pray for you to help bring this to the forefront. I've had students who've suffered but couldn't be diagnosed. Their families felt helpless. I applaud your strength and courage.
Anna Salerno 7 years ago
God bless you precious child. Your writing and drawing about what you hear and see has helped me to understand what it must have been like for my own father who had paranoid schizophrenia and died in a state mental hospital back in the 1970's. He had taken an over dose of his medication Thorazine. What horror living and thieving right inside your own head. I understand that it can be controlled with medication like heart or kidney problems. Good luck to you in your future.
Lynda Laramée 7 years ago
Thank you for sharing your story. All I knew about schizophrenia was, like you mentioned, from the movies. So, I didn't know anything. I don't think I know anyone with this illness but it made me understand what it is. Again thank you and just so you know, you don't need to pick flowers to get their beauty. You are a very beautiful and talented young lady. Sending you positive energies.
Janet Hoenig 7 years ago
How brave to share what you see. Gives us understanding of what you live with. Hope you find something to help you with this.
MMHS MMHS 7 years ago
Hi Kate! Thanks so much for sharing your story. Your drawings, honesty and your mind are all beautiful. You are such an inspiration to all struggling with mental illnesses!! My mom has schizophrenia as well, and I recently decided to start sharing my story (https://www.mymomhasschizophrenia.com). I shared your article there, hope that's ok. Post or send me an email - I would love to talk to you.
Kayla Blanchette 7 years ago
F*****g fantastic. Your art is incredible and motivational to others struggling with the same or similar thing. Keep drawing, let those things out and show the world. We'd love to see them. Thank you for being brave and sharing with us
Brent Huntoon 7 years ago
I have schizophrenia too. I have learned to overcome it naturally without pharmaceutical medicine. I am no a professional transcendental psychologist and would love to help you overcome if you are interested. I have lived through these symptoms and they are no fun. I just thought I give you some hopeful inspiration that it is possible to overcome these emotions/hallucinations if you are unhappy with them. https://www.facebook.com/brenthuntoon
William Magalhães 7 years ago
Thank you for share. I wish you the best, be always as strong as you are right now.
Louie 7 years ago
It's amazing that you've turned your situation around and started making art out of it! And as you wrote, people with mental illnesssen are seen as "broken", but to be open about it like you are might change some peoples minds! I suffer from mental illness too, and I hope to spread some awereness through my art aswell. Keep drawing!
Külli Kroon 7 years ago
It would be good to know what You think of this book. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/17661416-made-you-up Is it like author of this book writing about Schizophrenia?
Carmine Fucci 7 years ago
Omg you are so beautiful thank you for sharing this. I wish you to do a TED talk one day, and dont EVER give up!
Eleazar Hernandez 7 years ago
You are amazing. Thank you for sharing what you see. I'm sure it's terrifying sometimes. Your post is helping many people.
C.J. Rijsmus 7 years ago
that's exactly what you need to do, dont let a mind illness block you, it's an oppertunity to create so much more as you can see, use it, don''t let it use you!
Penny Baldwin 7 years ago
You are an amazing artist and writer, and I'm sure a lot of people with Schizophrenia will appreciate your work. Thanks for sharing your story!
Gerti Kalici 7 years ago
You should check what used to paint Louis Soutter in the edge of melancholia (maniac depression psychosis, not schizophrenia, indeed).
shinku Iio 7 years ago
You.re absolutely amazing as a person.The guts you have,the courage thats inside you and the faith...i wish you all the best Kate!p.s :you.re beautiful^^.
Labels Hurt 7 years ago
ps that part about RD LAING ..in PART 5 maybe not right he also had a lot of issues sorry maybe i got it wrong
Labels Hurt 7 years ago
FINAL PART 5 sorry so long :) this must be very overwhelming for you all these responses.. But hopefully you feel can less alone now.. you have made many others feel less alone by doing this . and keep doing it ..you have so much courage ....wow Since then I have read many accounts of shamans and esp remember the f great psychiatrist RD LAING . He took a “patient “ with “schizophrenia” into his house with his family..he didn’t “treat” him as I remember.. He was treated as part of the family. His life changed forever..I think that take your time ……move towards calmness in whatever way works for you ..this world is so frenetic......keep drawing ..... check out www.tarabrach.com if you relate to any of this .. she is a meditation teacher - also a psychologist. be cool and relax in whatever way ..BTW so love your birdie pics:) and u know the bugs are pretty cute too .
Labels Hurt 7 years ago
PART 4 and id never known if i could believe her or not cause she was alcoholic too like him .and i was told by other relatives she was" crazy” well at that moment in the retreat i "KNEW" it was all true .......i could go on ..so i allowed the images and who was"behind the knife to surface..in meditation but i stress.....i was very calm as well ......my mind id been training it to focus a long time ........and the fear got less as the threatning voice and images became a whimper.. but when i get stressed the images come but perhaps less intense.. later I was on another meditation retreat and the "knives" i saw floating past me sort of transparently ...like water , glass, illusions....perhaps everything is illusion to some extent, but its how we see it ........
Labels Hurt 7 years ago
PART 3 (so plse read from bottom up) sorry its so long:) in any case eventually i found my way to a meditation retreat -- a few days. the teacher there was very expeienced espacially with psycholgical stuff and funny suggested i draw 10 knives at least..and follow the story ( in my life - my history ) behind them ......but it was easier as i think id prepared the ground..my mind was focused and calm from the mediation and mantras i guess .. It was nice having this support every quiet..compassionate doing there own thing and knowing i could go to this guy if things got too tough.. In any case i started crying as i drew them and thought in my case about my childhood...My mom had told me as baby my dad attached her threatening her with a knife when drunk and she had to hide me away from his violence ..
Labels Hurt 7 years ago
PART 2 (so plse read from bottom up) So apostrophe..In my case the "breakdown" came along from meditating the wrong way -identifying too much with subconcious thoughts that came up . instead of allowing them and letting them go. the mind is powerful and i "though" i was letting go but i wasnt . I was lucky to find a buddhist meditation centre and get to speak to a very experienced meditator with "teacher status" this was after talking to many others there who werent giving me best advice..though they meant well. for a year i slowed down and mediated only lightly and short periods..15 min or so ..but i kept my focus on saying mantras of compassion –lilting and slow and tender…Im a musician so I relate to that I guess which helped a lot.. and a little prayer also helped , made me feel I didn’t have to cope w it all myself,but still it wasn’t easy ....the knives continued..but i kept shifting the focus as much as i could .....to my breath ..
Labels Hurt 7 years ago
PART 1 (sorry message is long so had to break it down into parts to be accepted) Whats amazing is how many comments on your brave and trusting article in so short a time. I think were all neurotic or have anxieties , fears, Yes they might be different but i think everyone doesnt want to admit them for same reason.. fear of ridicule. In Canada this stigmatising disappeared to some extent in this amazing little community .. I was checking it out on you tube a while back. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JwyaRU1svrA I remember a few years back had my 3rd "breakdown" Basically seeing knives imagining them cutting my wrists etc...I was late 50s and cooped up so i did something crazy. I joined this group meetup.com and found a walking group and went along..I felt this paranioa poeple would be able to "tell:" but it allowed my "other side." a quite social side to also be there and i forgot about what was happening while i was out with others . for the most part..
Simon Smith 7 years ago
Thankyou for sharing your thoughts ,Must appreciated -Iam also on Medication since 23 because of live style changes ,but not that bad,I was put on too much medication when I started,And found out at aged 45,and it was reduced -2nd year of losing weight as my new doctor told me because I was on such a hgh amount it brought on diabetes 2, At age 30 I was 107kg and went up to 130kg and down to 115,Today ,Much happier on my Healthy eating and bush walking
SJ Kashyap 7 years ago
Hi Kate, I can totally understand what it going through, I want you to contact me on Fb. Or you can leave a massage on the same.Sj kashyap
Soheil Alavi 7 years ago
Amazing artwork. just thought it would have been amazing to have people like you in a creative department of our company
Alison MacDonald 7 years ago
I admire you art. You are very talented and I'm sure I'm not the only one that gained a modicum of insight into a moment in your life. I wish I could make it better, but all I can say is I hope you continue to show us your art and that you get all the support you need. <3
Notchimine Mette 7 years ago
I am so sorry that you have to suffer through this. I think making the drawings and knowing that these "things" are hallucinations and not real is already a step in a positive direction. Thank you for sharing your beautiful art. I love Birdie. Keep drawing and stay strong.
Szymon Kacperski 7 years ago
I've seen simillar things in a past, unfortunately I can't draw so well like you.
Greg Seebregts 7 years ago
Lovely artwork, I don't know much about schizophrenia but I do understand the feeling of isolation and difficulty coping with it. I was born with epilepsy so it's not quite the same thing but thanks for sharing your story and artwork
Elizabeth Maas 7 years ago
Your drawings remind me of the phosphenes I see when there is no light. The light patterns morph into recognizable patterns, faces and strange monsters if I watch with intent. Here is a video of phosphenes https://youtu.be/GdMJSnBkdqU
Andrew Heil 7 years ago
the drawing that stuck out most to me was the self esteem one. i know everyone has their reasons for why they feel the way they do. but personally i think youre gorgeous. youre a beautiful girl not just on the outside, but more importantly on the inside, where it truly matters. keep your head up
felixreychman 7 years ago
I see a beautiful girl, with a rare talent. Although schizophrenia must be a living hell in many respects, you seem to have managed to find something beautiful in it. Your pictures are amazing, and I couldn't create them in a million years.
Antara Khan 7 years ago
All your drawings show immense talent, Kate. You're very beautiful, inside and out. I pray you get the strength to continue coping. Thank you for sharing this.
Iapetos 7 years ago
On the one hand, I'm stunned by your art, on the other hand, I wish you the best. I can't really imagine what it is like to be haunted and frightened by your own phantasy, however i'd like to write something helpful. In my humble opinion, I suggest to do everything to empower your self esteem. Everything else will resolve itself.
Lee Musson 7 years ago
Have you thought about turning your experiences into a graphic novel? Contact me pls.
Dean Povey-Garman 7 years ago
This is beautiful. You are incredibly talented. Thank you for being so open and honest.
Rahul Garg 7 years ago
I wish you good luck and health. I think you have a wild and great imagination and you are beautiful too. Fight! (hope we dont choke on our cigg smoke either).
James Henderson 7 years ago
I have schizoaffective disorder as well it isn't bad enough I have schitzophrenia but I am bipolar as well I am an artist as well I also have a 148 in far to often people think if your mentally ill you are stupid you keep doing what you are doing it's good artwork and expressive I am an artist as well my name is James henderson if you get a chance drop by and take a look keep on keepin on
Allyson Dymski 7 years ago
My name is Allyson dymski I am 29 years old living with szicphrenia it's a difficult life thank you for sharing your drawings they a beautiful
Darlene Browne 7 years ago
Your art is amazing no matter where it comes from. And you are beautiful! My sister is schizophrenic and on heavy medication. She is doing well, now. Hang in there. Kudos to your strength and thank you for sharing.
Aj Cabrawl 7 years ago
Brave, honest, talented, beautiful... that's what this girl is. Thank you for sharing this part of you.
Carol Patti Fortunato 7 years ago
You are so pretty and a talented artist too. I wish their were meds that would take away these hallucinations.
Aiden Wolters 7 years ago
You're beautiful, your art work is beautiful too. I kinda like Birdie, who strikes me as the nice one.
Clara Sexton 7 years ago
Interesting story, Kate. Have a read of this: http://www.orthomolecularvitamincentre.com/a_hoffer_schizophrenia.php And also this: http://www.altmedrev.com/publications/13/4/287.pdf I think you will find these two links interesting and helpful. Best,
Clara Sexton 7 years ago
Interesting story, Kate. Have a read of this: http://www.orthomolecularvitamincentre.com/a_hoffer_schizophrenia.php And also this: http://www.altmedrev.com/publications/13/4/287.pdf I think you will find these two links interesting and helpful. Best, J
Kira Thesloth 7 years ago
I have a sister who does this! She also creates clay models of what she sees.
Garrett Myers 7 years ago
You are such an inspiration. Mental illness is such a serious and common issue, but nobody likes to talk about ot. You've taken something very difficult to deal with and turned it into art. You've given us a window into your world, and given us a chance to understand something most people have never experienced. These drawings and paintings are heartbreaking at the same time as they are beautiful. Mental illness (though not schizophrenia in particular) has affected so many people in my life. Seeing such a creative and artistic representation of your challenges strikes a very personal chord with me and nearly brought me to tears. Thank you for sharing this with the world. I am sure I'm not the only one who has a new, greater understanding of the challenges people with schizophrenia face every day. You have made a difference in the world by sharing your art. Kate, thank you. And God bless you. *hug* -Garrett
Bertha Blues 7 years ago
Thank you for letting me see how this affects you. You are a gifted artist, and quite brave. Let love shine on you.
Bertrand Ceccaldi 7 years ago
You are great. Sensitivity can be a burden but you have tools in your hands. Difficult to manage with all those things when empathy leads you to so many different ways. It's ok to be that way, love yourself because you are beautiful, wish you can see the world with eyes of love. Best regards
Nicolas Letarte 7 years ago
You are amazing! Thanks so much for sharing this. Your Art is wonderful and very very talented! Merci, love XoxoxO
Tim Graham 7 years ago
OP you are an AMAZING artist. I love the fact that you're using your neurodiverse mind to create beautiful artwork
Rachelle Wise 7 years ago
You are amazing! I worked with patients that had depression and schizophrenic diagnosis...I wish as a student I had seen your drawings. You are so beautiful for sharing. Thank you for helping people to understand people's realities better. 💜
Kristen Caven 7 years ago
This is wonderful and such a gift to the world. Thank you for sharing it! I wonder if people with schizophrenia can get to know their hallucinations and see them as a shamanic gift, a window to their intuition. There are people who religiously take drugs to get visions. I hope as you grow more mature this difference becomes a strength and not an illness for you.
Gillian Black 7 years ago
what an amazing young lady you are ,and brave your talent is a simply beautiful, and I am sure that by drawing these visions it helps you, as it will help others, thank you for helping us understand a little of what your are going through, I am sure we will all look at others with schizophrenia a lot different. may you one day find the peace you are seeking.
Tyler Broveak 7 years ago
For the first time in my life I have an understanding with what a good friend of mine goes through every day. My lack of understanding this condition in life has often left me Impatient with him at times and even sometime fearful, but I now realize my fear was only fear of the unknown. I could never sympathize with what your day to day life is but I can now empathize more than I ever could before. P.s. Everything has beauty, from a little tiny ant to the birds up in the sky. Life, all life, and even death is beautiful. It all comes back to the cycle. Those who say otherwise are the ugly ones in life and even so, they're not ugly souls but lost ones. But the biggest soul you don't want to become lost is that of yourself for you are your biggest judge
Guillaume Savage 7 years ago
I think that modern psychiatry doesn't understand much of mental illnesses... You should check this out! http://www.wakingtimes.com/2014/08/22/shaman-sees-mental-hospital/
Etmun Corelender 7 years ago
There is no point of reality than You are pushed So Someone can earn on you and So was i .,this is what i do for fun www.quadrimnem-corelender.blogspot.com
Puddin Tane 7 years ago
Those are beautiful and show it perfectly. I have read so many stories of people with this and these are pretty much what they describe. You have done an amazing job on those. What a talent. I hope you keep it up. Much luck to you in the future. Never give up, no matter what anyone says!
Mike McCabe 7 years ago
You're awesome, keep drawing and painting. Feel good about yourself, you ROCK!!
David Weiner 7 years ago
Good for you for finding a constructive outlet for coping with your schizophrenia. Do check into high dose niacin therapy though, since that is enough for many to overcome it.
Natt Dee 7 years ago
What you are doing is very brave. You may help people to understand how having schizophrenia feels like. You may also inspire people who have it to express what they are experiencing. I work in the mental health field. Many of my clients have schizophrenia. I have so much respect for you. I would be so so scared if I experienced what you do. I do not know how I would hold it together. Peace. You are wonderful. You are brave. xx
Diana Hansen 7 years ago
one of my sons had schizophrenia. he had a very hard time with it and ended up taking his life at 45. he left a daughter who loved him so much. he was an amazing artist also. he was a challenge to live with but i love him so much for helping me understand it and know how to help him.
Jackson Cherry 7 years ago
Thanks for this. I can't always tell whether I actually hallucinated the things that I did or whether my memory changes it after because it knows it doesn't make sense
Marilyn Barnes 7 years ago
Thank you for sharing your struggle. I'm a mental health therapist and have worked with clients who are unable to voice their own struggles. Looking forward to sharing this.
Bridget Smith 7 years ago
Thank you for sharing your art! I always love when talented artists share their lives through art because there are always people out there who can benefit and relate to the artist's emotions. Your art helps us heal. Whether we're dealing with the same demons or others of our own, you help. And sharing your story helps everyone to understand a struggle that is not talked about very much. Mental illnesses common as depression and anxiety are still pretty taboo to admit and talk about (in my experience), so thanks for sharing yourself with us
Benski Trenkins 7 years ago
When diagnosed with Schizophrenia, or any other mental condition, it often is both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because it explains a lot for yourself, a curse because society gives you that stamp. Ignore the stamp. Yes, there are people that won't look past it, but there are tons (judging by the sheer amount of heartfelt responses here) that see you for what you really are: a beautiful young lady that bravely shares her way of dealing with Schizophrenia. Deep respect for your post... and although you feel often insignificant, as you described, you just touched hundreds of hearts and became the voice for others dealing with the same issues.
Lea Opitz 7 years ago
Sweet Baby! You are so beautiful! I wish you could see how beautiful you are! And your art is wonderful and poignant and an amazing teaching tool! Thank you for helping me, and many more of us, understand, through your art, what you see, and read about how you feel! I am so happy you have amazing support... it's ok to need some help!
Pandaman 7 years ago
Thanks for sharing, you are a very brave person confronting your mental condition with art. It takes much focus to capture an image, and I think is the best to deal with crisis. I've read vitamin B3 or niacin may help in this condition. Never stop expressing and sharing. Best wishes.
Dragon Girl 7 years ago
You are a brave, beautiful soul & a hugely talented artist...keep on keeping on!
Ethel Grimes 7 years ago
Your artwork is amazing! :) The one with all the eyes reminds me of the work of Salvador Dali.
Tanner Hosek 7 years ago
Wow, to have someone else out there... I also have some form of diagnosed schizophrenia and am an artist. I see the world very literally and hear voices as well as have seen something like that thing that crawls out of your vent make an appearance on a purple plant except that mine had a shell and no eyes that i could make out. I write however, the content of my stories are heavily influenced by so called mental disorders and drug abuse. I am impressed, I have followed you on instagram and would love to make contact to share some of my work. I believe the internet is around for a reason and we should try to use it to the best to make good connections with people, even if they are random. You are incredible and remember, it's probably not real, well not all of it.
Jakob Halldor 7 years ago
Nothing is wrong with you, you simply view the world through a lens less accepted. Reality is as we accept it, you are stronger then most for sharing the experience you move through every day. Thank you for your bravery.
Magaly 7 years ago
kate, don t give up! you re a such beautiful soul. I think it would be very interesting for you to get in touch with AnnaMerkaba. She is a wonderful soul healer and Im sure you will come to understand many things about you. https://sacredascensionmerkaba.com/ Much Love Trust yourself first and foremost !!!
Susann Campbell 7 years ago
Being alone with the Doctor is not wrong, it's just wrong for you because you could be hearing something he is telling you and you are hearing something else . My husband goes with me even to my GYN Dr. LOL I call him my interpreter. P.S. if a Dr has taken advantage of you, then it's your word of a schizophrenia against a Dr. You have wonderful loving parents always remember that and I'm sure you can crawl into bed with them if you are being bothered and can't sleep.
Beth Faitro 7 years ago
Thank you for sharing your beautiful art and your story. So many people struggle with mental illness - be it this or another - and feel they are alone in their struggle because of the stigma that works to silences them. Sharing your story is an incredibly brave act, and, as I read some of the posts below, I can see that you are already helping others to feel less alone. As a person and as a therapist, I appreciate the insight that you have given me into what Schizophrenia can look like from inside. I am so sorry that you are suffering. I hope you can take in some of the praise in these posts and see that you are making a positive difference in the world. You are not a worthless fly - you are powerful.
Birma Gustafsson 7 years ago
I have a very superficial idea what schizophrenia is about, like most people, I suspect, and your description of how your life really is like, what you see, and hear, and how the ordinary colourings and shapes differ for you has helped me to understand better what your reality is like. Thank you so very much! Your art is so expressive, and it helped me to picture what it can be like. I can never understand completely, but I understand more now.
Melanie Feerer 7 years ago
Thank you so much for posting this. It is hard for someone to grasp what a person with schizophenia is seeing and dealing with. I believe you have helped to open peoples eyes with your drawings. It is one thing to hear someone tell about it, but your drawings along with puts it into perspective.
Carol Ann Van Natten 7 years ago
I'm so glad to have read your article and what an amazing coping skill. Good for you! You artwork is tremendous. All my hopes. <3
Josh Attama 7 years ago
Your are beautiful just the way you are. Your art is amazing. I hope the best for you.
Sarah Romano 7 years ago
Hi Kate! I'm going for a psych doctorate and truly believe the truth of human life resides in the minds that society classifies as "mentally ill." However, I also hate this term and I wish to shed light on how detrimental that classification is in itself. I would love to conduct my Q&A with you because I feel that we can learn a lot from each other. If you are interested please let me know and we can work something out. Thank you for being you and being open with your thoughts through art. You are absolutely beautiful and I wish you peace and love within. Namaste <3
Paula Parker 7 years ago
Your artistry is extraordinary, as is your insight. I see a beautiful road ahead for you.
Bennette Lyle 7 years ago
thank you for the illustrations, i myself suffer daily and i will try to illustrate my visions. this is a scary world i live in within my self.
Benny Lava 7 years ago
I admire your honesty and really love your art. Thank you for sharing this with us. I wish you all the best in your life.
James Floyd 7 years ago
Keep drawing and writing. It may be hard when you'd rather not stand out, but speaking out and expressing yourself breeds understanding.
James Floyd 7 years ago
This was very powerful and enlightening, in the same first-hand way that "The Reason I Jump" was for shedding light on autism.
Mark Fuller 7 years ago
Wow. Really powerful. Great that you have such insight and a willingness to be so open. Best of luck keeping on top of your mental health x
Maike Weidner 7 years ago
The one with the fly and the Flowers reminds me of a piece by Erich Fried it is called Fabeln, i will try to translate it... "Beauty once was a Guest in Uglyness`s House, there she had the feeling to be ugly becouse she could not help her to be as beautyful as herself." jet it is also said: " Ugly once was a Guest in Beauty s House, where she felt so comfortable that she wasnot ugly anymore" I will believe both of it when in all the countries Hunger was so often a Guest Fullness, that it does not exist anymore But then a child asked me: "does the Fulness feed the Hunger or devours it?" __________________________ so that is what this Picture reminded me of, and the iridescent beaty of Flieseyes and the unique way they see their surroundings in so many little pictures, the transparent Beauty of Flieswings and how they can make a perfekt sommersault in midflight, when they want to land on a ceiling. And how many Flies only live for one day- a good one i hope
Cherie Gray Lester 7 years ago
Your artwork is stunning and so are you! I'm sure by now you've seen the movie "A Beautiful Mind" with Russell Crow, if you haven't, you should check it out. Keep moving forward and making your art. Youre honesty and your work will change many, many lives!
Michael Swet 7 years ago
I am incredibly moved by the amount of courage you must have facing these challenges all the time. I dont have schizophrenia, but have dealt with debilitating health issues for most of my life. its so inspiring to see someone be strong and proactive in their own care, when many would just give up. I wish you all the best, both you and your art are fantastic, imaginitive and beautiful. i wish you all the best luck in the world. stay strong and god bless.
Iuli Julie 7 years ago
I hope in the near future, you will draw from a happier place in your mind. Take care.
Ersi Salander 7 years ago
Please remember that how we see ourselves is entirely different than what others see of us. I don't know you, but when I look at your picture I see a beautiful person. That doesn't only mean you're very pretty, but also that you have a kind heart. And when people have meanness inside them, they're not attractive at all. Thank you for being brave enough to share! Bless you and wishing you all the best.
Amber Zarichniak 7 years ago
Thank you for sharing! I hope you can always remain strong enough to know what is real and what is in your mind. I think your art is very helpful to people trying to understand what a person with schizophrenia is going through. You are very inspiring. If anything always remember you at least helped one person by making this. <3
Flávia Guimarães 7 years ago
Hope someday those beautiful (but sad) draws turns into a bright and happy memories.
Julie Denise 7 years ago
Thank you so much for sharing. You and your artwork are stunning and so important.
Sierra Hall 7 years ago
You are truly brave sharing your struggles. It may help someone else out there that is confused and afraid. I wish you well!
Valerie Notte 7 years ago
I think that young girl is incredible, just remember you are Divinely protected always, best of luck and healing to you Kate
Sabina Hentschel 7 years ago
thank you for sharing this kate...showing us what you see is fascinating and i hope it helps you and others in some way...i wish what u deal with could be pleasant for u somehow as i think ur truly blessed with a amazing talent...i agree with Matthius when he refers to u as gifted...ur art and u are absolutely beautiful :)
TheUndertakersDogBiscuits;3 7 years ago
You are an amazing Artist and i am inspired by your story
Dhanya Munro 7 years ago
Thanks for sharing your experiences with us Kate...it helps us get a glimpse ofhow it feels to have Schizophrenia. Stay strong and keep making art. Your works are very associable and touch me in a deep way.
Chet Dailey 7 years ago
I'm so glad you did this. It is easy to dismiss the claims of hallucinations, especially if one has never had any. To see what you witness gives this symptom a new reality and a better sense of what you suffer.
Cristi 7 years ago
I once had an episode of hallucinations when I was a kid and had a very high fever, it has always stuck with me and I've tried to express it somehow in writing, although it is very hard to do. Can't begin to imagine what it would be like to live like that every day. Sending you strength and peace, you're a brave person!
Daniel Wheatley 7 years ago
It's wonderful that you can keep the visions in your mind to put them on paper and any other forms of expression you might use in the future. This will give you a lot more strength with reality. Marvelous, keep balanced as much as you can, and ask for help when it gets too difficult.
Jeanne Deaux 7 years ago
"my depression makes me feel worthless" "I feel unsignificant". You've probably heard or read it thousand of times but : you are neither worthless or unsignificant. Sure, your life is more difficult than the life most of us will ever live but you're a very talented artist with a whole world to explore. Don't lose hope that one day a treatment, and by that I mean an efficient one that doesn't destroy your mind to help it, will be found. You're still young, you may know this day. I hope you'll know this day.
Corina Haita-Falah 7 years ago
Kate, you are incredibly beautiful, let alone amazingly talented.
Joryen Bixler 7 years ago
I live in a tiny space that I'm fearful of leaving and find months go by before being social. When I have to leave, I'll use my camera to take pictures of whatever catches my eye. Don't give up...
J Todd 7 years ago
I hope you know how many people you will help by sharing your story and bravery. "“We have been given a challenging illness, and there is no other option than to meet those challenges. Think of it as an opportunity to be heroic—not ‘I survived living in Mosul during an attack’ heroic, but an emotional survival. An opportunity to be a good example to others who might share our disorder.” —Carrie Fisher, November 2016, in her Guardian advice column, “Ask Carrie Fisher”
Rosie Quinn Harley 7 years ago
I know how you feel. I also get hallucinations like this with my autism and anxiety. Faces and clay masks and strange creatures seem to be the norm, specially the voices. I'm glad you're able to vent, it's hard living with these things but being able to cope and enlighten others really helps yourself and others who are feeling this way too. we feel less alone x
John Mares 7 years ago
You are not Ill. Just woke and a conduit of Source. These earthlings do not understand.
Mirela Oprea 7 years ago
Wrong diagnosis, don't you think?! I think the lady is bipolar with Asperger traits. Her drawings show signs of manic decompensation. If she has real psychosis then she has a schizoaffective component, but this pretty, intelligent and gifted lady is definitely not schizophrenic. Schizophrenic people decay on all the areas and aspects of their lives and competency. They are disorganized and often lack personal hygiene and dress peculiar. This lady has no such presentation. The prognosis by bipolar disorder is more favorable and the psychosis free periods are more similar to their premorbid functioning. Whereas by schizophrenics it is never a fully psychosis free remission and they experience a regression on almost all levels of their functioning including their social interaction.
Molly Simkins 7 years ago
Have you ever attempted meditation? Even if you don't believe in a reality beyond, or that theses are observing spirits, it could help quiet your brain down and possibly reduce the hallucinations. (or even turn them more positive. Those voices you hear are not dissimilar from simple negative thoughts that most everyone experiences. You are just interpreting them as auditory rather than formless thoughts. Everyone can turn thoughts into better ones.) If you'd like to learn more about those who do believe, look into aura shielding.
Peter Cain 7 years ago
I'm no expert... but my story might help, I hope. My old Dr withdrew his diognosis of scitsofenic when it was reported that I was living on cursed land. I was seeing most of what you have drawn in this article. But only around the area of land that was reported cursed... (Sorry I'll be more honest ) and houses there had been murders in or s**t like that. Please because what you are drawing is so similar to what I was seeing under the conditions above... talk to someone who knows more about that mystical stuff maybe your in the same boat as I was? Merry met. Blessed be. Good tidings.
Philip Kelleher 7 years ago
Btw, Kate, The original comment I made was... If you want to clear your energy field of 'interference'...this technique works ! :-)
Philip Kelleher 7 years ago
Part 1 again, Kate... :-) ........Imagine you are standing on the centre of a large clock, with the clock face flat on the floor, and you are standing in the centre of the clock, facing the 12 0'Clock position...Now, you have a STAINLESS STEEL knife, it matters not what the handle is made of - but the blade must be stainless steel ( and not a sharp one that might cut you) The reason for the stainless steel blade, is that lower entities and energies cannot stand the vibration of stainless steel ( You might consider a stainless steel neck chain too :-) ) So, holding the knife in your right hand, you cut the air in front of you, at a comfortable arm's length, in a slicing pattern from head height down to the floor and as you do so, you say, aloud ... SHIVA - SHIVA - SHIVA * SHIVA - SHIVA - SHIVA * SHIVA - SHIVA - SHIVA * SHIVA - SHIVA - SHIVA .
Philip Kelleher 7 years ago
* The first part has not shown up for some reason... Ok... I will re-post it... :-)
Philip Kelleher 7 years ago
CONT'D...... ..which is twelve times SHIVA. - said in a rhythm of 3's, repeated four times. (I have not got the time right now to go into all the 'why's'...so, I suggest that you might simply trust me that this will work ! ) Then, you face the 1 0'Clock position and repeat the 12 SHIVA's..as you cut the air in front of you from head to floor. Then onto the 2 0'Clock position and repeat...continue around the clock until you get to the 11 0'Clock position...by then you will have repeated 144 SHIVA's and you will have cut clear all around your energy field. This in practice only takes a few minutes, and for anyone who is on this Earth, this technique will help keep their energy field C L E A R !
Philip Kelleher 7 years ago
Hello Kate :-) If You would like to clear your energy field from ...'interference' ~ Please try this... <3 ..... It's called The Cutting Clear Technique...and, It Works ! ... Imagine you are standing on the centre of a large clock, with the clock face flat on the floor, and you are standing in the centre of the clock, facing the 12 0'Clock position...Now, you have a STAINLESS STEEL knife, it matters not what the handle is made of - but the blade must be stainless steel ( and not a sharp one that might cut you) The reason for the stainless steel blade, is that lower entities and energies cannot stand the vibration of stainless steel So, holding the knife in your right hand, you cut the air in front of you, at a comfortable arm's length, in a slicing pattern from head height down to the floor and as you do so, you say, aloud ... SHIVA - SHIVA - SHIVA * SHIVA - SHIVA - SHIVA * SHIVA - SHIVA - SHIVA * SHIVA - SHIVA - SHIVA...(CONT.D ABOVE)
Lance 7 years ago
Your condition mirror's heavy metal toxicity, specifically mercury. Have you looked into this? Get the book Hair Test Interpretations by Andy Cutler. There are many case studies in there that are similar to your situation as well as mine that have been cured with proper chelation.
Lance 7 years ago
Your condition mirror's heavy metal toxicity, specifically mercury. Have you looked into this? Get the book Hair Test Interpretations by Andy Cutler. There are many case studies in there that are similar to your situation as well as my personal journey that have been cured with proper chelation.
Anneliese Lumley 7 years ago
Have you looked into spiritual warfare. Anyone in family in freemasons or any occult stuff can incur curses that are like this. Sets in about 16 and in mostly females born first in family or certain dates. I pray and declare that the holy armies of angels are around you and your family and that the things that torment you through these visions are halted. These things were happening to me. Now I don't have them all the time only when I need to ask for the angels to remove it if I'm in a new area or the mall. I have to constantly ask if I am out around people. Other people have seen these things too and the angels. Blessing to you.
Kacper Sapija 7 years ago
No you are not an artist. You cant be artist by calling yourself like that. Get a life and gtfo, no1 gives a s**t
Hasan Newman 7 years ago
I work in mental health running supported living arrangements. The vast majority of my clients are affected with schizophrenia. I'm not a fan of the chemical lobotomy they get, I hope you can make some YouTube vids so we can hear you. Abacus Supportive services is my company. Look us up and contact me, id love to gain a better understanding from someone who can articulate like you. Maybe I could help some of my clients a little better. Thanks for all you do. Matthew
Bob Coches 7 years ago
When I saw your self portrait painting I knew instantly it was inspired by the Holy Spirit. I saw a beautiful picture of the lion of Judah looking back at you in the mirror. Psalm 17:15 Amplified Bible (AMP) As for me, I shall see Your face in righteousness; I will be [fully] satisfied when I awake [to find myself] seeing Your likeness.
KW 7 years ago
Beautiful girl, what you are seeing is real. You have eyes that can see into the spirit realm, that most people can't. Descriptions of creatures like this are in the Bible. Thank you for sharing your story! May you find relief from fear in Christ who loves you, who has ultimate power over demons and death. I pray for your healing and relief! That God would allow you to see angels and agents of good in the spirit realm, and not just the dark things! Hugs to you- be blessed. (Also, as a side but important note: certain foods can aggravate mental anguish and should be avoided, like wheat. It has been known for centuries that most schizophrenics are malnourished and cannot tolerate grains. GAPS Diet personally helped me with that; maybe it can help you too.)
Kim Dotiwalla 7 years ago
I think you should start researching Angels and compare what you hear and see with what other hear and see. A friend has such a gift and has taught me some. The more I use it the stronger it gets, like learning a new language As a nurse I appreciate your unique situation and appreciate your teaching me about the visual component. There are two dogs fighting. Which one will win? The one you feed.
Keuthonymos 7 years ago
I feel slightly cheated by life as I have to buy mushrooms for the same experience.
Jane Harkleroad 7 years ago
I've read that knitting and other handwork helped people who have mental problems. I wondered if Kate has tried knitting and if it helped or not. I am sad that Kate has this problem, but glad that she had found a way to express herself and enlighten others. God bless you, Kate. I pray that somehow you will stop having this problem.
Jim Henson 7 years ago
You have to remember,one can have a thousand demons outside your mind,They can only make noise But should you weaken and let one in.That one is the one you must destroy.Research Anunnaki,all your efforts ,will lead you to enlightenment. 20151027_1...e9e249.jpg
Charles Baird 7 years ago
I think most likely she is experiencing visions from the spirit world and since people find that part of life difficult to believe, they call them hallucinations. The extreme emotions like anxiety and depression are also the usual result of spirits. The prophet was told, "do not fear the faces you see" (I think Jerimiah). That is what they were talking about. In one of the books of Solomon (not included in the bible) he asks the question, "what are the faces I see before me?" Spirits often communicate through imagery. Birds and bugs are different spirits and the eyes "we are surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses." She doesn't need meds she needs someone that has been to the spirit world that can help her.
Skysquall Leonhart 7 years ago
Maybe u just are pyscic or indigo then?developed some kind of third eye.seeing into another realm or dimension being
sean kirschner 7 years ago
Take some psychedelics its going to help i promise if not im like a million miles away so not even those creepy laserbeam eyes of yours are getting me and to all other persons here imagine all she is saying to be real and you just cant see it.
Suzanette Nurse 7 years ago
I think all art geniuses share your experiences and perspectives. You are definitely not alone, just continue to express through your Art.
Debra Adams 7 years ago
As scary as it may seem, maybe it's just that your eyes are open and the rest are all closed.
Izzy's Maid 7 years ago
I actually saw a lot of those images when I was, like, 17 years old. I enjoyed it immensely but I never thought it might be anything important.
Lida Thornley 7 years ago
Maybe nothing is wrong with her and she can simply see the things that the rest of us can't. Have you ever thought of that?
Jojo 7 years ago
I lost the post that I wanted to post because of evil things that are better for me to not state here, but I will attempt to repost something here for you. Your artwork shows important issues, so you are drawing from a truthful place. Your perception is poignant and truthful. That is an important thing and I hope that your therapist (apparently you have gone that route because you chose/were compelled by others to get a diagnosis) is a good one who appreciates both that and your rights as a living being: that basically exclude you being abducted by aliens or taken advantage of by a lustful therapist or whatever influence has sway over the therapist.
Roger Conner 7 years ago
Assume you have tried drugs. They have been nearly 100% effective in my daughte's case who has been dealing with this for 20 years.
Jojo 7 years ago
Even for this most serious of diagnoses, it is important to seperate fact from fiction. If you are choosing to go the therapist route, then I hope that you have a good one. Your artwork points to some seriously poignant perceptions of the world. That is coming from a truthful place, no matter what your current therapist is saying. I am not saying it is a nice place. But it is a true place nonetheless. I would suggest that you focus on helping the true issues in your life: your relationships with the people who ACTUALLY care about you (not just want to use you) - and dealing with your own past. If you were abducted, deal with that, don't push it aside to "those crazy people." Because, at the end of the day, high school concerns of what people think about you do not matter nearly as much as you think they do now, but health records and giving them more power over you do.
Marc-André de La Ronde 7 years ago
One day, we will understand that it is a great gift; for now, it's not known how to put "filters" for the "bad" visions to be filtered out and only keeping the "good"ones. Continue your work, it's very interesting to see what you see. :)
Stephanie McColligan 7 years ago
I am 17 and have schizophrenia. I also love to draw. Why isn't there an article about me?
Heather 7 years ago
Post your story of your experiences. Never wait for someone to tell your story.
Load More Replies... Stephanie McColligan 7 years ago
I also have Schizophrenia and I am 17. I love to draw! There should be an article about me!!!!
Charity Spicer 7 years ago
Labels anger me ...I've seen spirits since I was young and I know there not hallucinations...Some see and some don't ...I personally will never follow norms ..Never let labels say who or what we are ...This place is way to big for just one realm and there are way to many mythological stories, history's of spirits for there not be other entities
Michael Craig Liebel 7 years ago
When I was young i started having visions of my own. Events that would come true. I dismissed it as coincidence. Now I have come to learn that I have a gift of seeing future events. I can't control when PR if it happens. It just does. I have struggled most of my life to understand why I have this gift. When it happens I want to warn the person to prevent it from happening. I can not. It makes me feel very helpless and to avoid my gift. I was introduced to the love of God many years ago. I wanted to know if this God who loved me was real I really wanted to know Him. In those early years of my life my thoughts were very dark. I comptiplated suicide many times. I felt very insecure and that everyone despised me. I was angry and my thoughts were chaotic. I used to feel everyone was talking about me.
Catarina Araújo 7 years ago
Wow, this is amazing, please keep on doing your art. Ancient cultures believed that people like you were shamans who could see the invisible spirit dimension that permeates this one. Maybe you are seeing those spirit critters. Even if it is "just" an hallucination, isn't it amazing how the human brain creates these astonishing designs? DOn't let them beat you down. Birdie sings to you to help keeping the fire alive. One day, you will be strong enough to lit that fire up and it will burn so bright that all the dark critters will recoil. They like the darkness. Trust in your gift. It may seem like a curse, and I would not willingly be in your shoes, but this art you are creating proves that a curse may become a blessing. Let's rewrite our history to become victorious over the forces that bring us down! Best wishes for you, I'll be following your updates to see more art and stories
Sam Simpson 7 years ago
Hi there, you've done some wonderful art and I'm really glad that it helps you I read these articles and thought that they might be interesting to you especially as you've created a creative outlet by yourself. Hope they help and big love, Sam :) http://www.jaysongaddis.com/the-shamanic-view-of-mental-illness/ http://nautil.us/issue/40/learning/a-mental-disease-by-any-other-name
Terri Richardson 7 years ago
"My self-esteem is at its lowest, and I feel insignificant. I always wish I could shapeshift into a “prettier” person." First, I am not looking to make any trouble, I am really just curious. I Googled your picture and ended up on a page that is (basically) a model's portfolio and/or shots of you singing. A few that seem to be album covers. I know two schizophrenics and neither could be able to pose for the photos on that page. At the age of 66, I have suffered from bipolar disorder, chronic depression, anxiety. I would not be able to pose and look so beautiful, although before my mental health problems started running my life, I was a model as a teenager. And although I would never wish a person to have a mental illness, I hope this post is true and not an attempt to get you recognized. Good luck to you.
Farnaz SH 7 years ago
I had schizophrenia when I was 14 and I did not know it, not even my mom. I know your feeling, Kate. I was 23 and I felt I'm getting like before again but what I realized, was that all that voices come from my mind and that's all my own imaginations. I decided to control it by myself. I said "I can" and I did it. I wish you will learn how to control your mind
Gus Miller 7 years ago
I know you feel like you're trapped in your own world (actually you're kinda in multiple worlds). It's awesome to see that you're turning something negative and turning it into a positive. You're amazing. Sometimes love is the key and potential suitors will get scared off sometimes but the good guy/girl would stick around knowing that you need them. I know that MUST oneof the main reasons for your sadness that you feel as though no one wants to be in love with you. The right person will come along and hold you tight and talk you through the rough times. Take care and remember love, love, love ........
Greg Crimmins 7 years ago
What a b***h. I've had better drawings and had 'issues' my whole life and made better art about those issues. What a c**t.
DancingToMyself 7 years ago
Kate is b***h, because YOU had better drawings? I really hope that you're seeing some therapist to help you with your thoughts. There is no need for you to be such an ugly person. I really hope that you have tried to talk to someone who's professional.
Load More Replies... Alice Rotaru 7 years ago
Is not the same thing but I used to have O.C.D. Voices were telling me the cooker was on, spending minutes to convince myself to let go and leave the cooker, oh and the wirdest: in the night with the lights off in my room, a voice didn't let me go to sleep keep telling me I have to turn off the light. Even after all these years I am amazed how powerful was the voice. The uncomfortable truth for people is that theae voices are demons. They let you go with confession. Orthodox. I really hope you will get cured!
Load More Replies... Angela Clayton 7 years ago
Doesn't look like schizophrenia at all. Looks like you have some unwelcome alien/ET visitors. The weird spider is a common one - Miles Johnson (Bases Project) calls them 'scuttlers'.
Tara Rose 7 years ago
Honey these are gorgeous. You have wonderful gifts. From the perspective of having been an intuitive healer, it seems to me that you are describing seeing real entities. If you are open to it i highly recommend seeing a shamanic healer who is of the highest integrity to clear them. They can only exist in your reality with your own permission on some level, so keep loving yourself and empower yourself. You don't have to allow them to run things or stay suffering. Xoxo
Paul Ankie 7 years ago
This is a beautiful use of a brain. I am curious, if creatures are repeating and you see the same thing over and over. Could it be an alternate reality of some sort. I hope this isn't insensitive but what if schizophrenia is just someone who is gifted in seeing a place most simple minds couldn't understand. The world is dark no matter how much we want to ignore the bad stuff, someone has to be able to see through the fog.
Anne Zobrist 7 years ago
Is "You are beautiful" the go-to comment here??? How about "well keep taking your meds and go to therapy with your doctor! Good luck!" No instead a bunch of sychophants a*s-kiss her with passive compliments as if that makes someone be all better!
Anna Brandigi 7 years ago
Is it really that bad to be nice? You need some friends
Load More Replies... Beatrix Kiddo 7 years ago
It is not funny, Kevin, that, in my opinion, your message of a need for Jesus is far over shadowed by a lack of compassion. Are you speaking of Aleister Crowley's "Lam"? Most people probably never heard of Aleister Crowley. Sorry, I digress, I do not see the resemblance between her drawing and Lam. I could have seen a different picture than you.
Load More Replies... Anna Brandigi 7 years ago
Maybe you're just ignorant and should seek politeness. Nobody asked you to come advertise Christianity
Load More Replies... Anna Brandigi 7 years ago
Are you serious? This is a mental disorder. It's not an emo phase.
Load More Replies... Ashley Davis 7 years ago
I don't have enough eyes to roll at this comment.
Load More Replies... DancingToMyself 7 years ago
Yup, it must be from vaccinations! You're so ignorant, just your first sentence is toxic and harmful to others! Go away please.
Load More Replies... Ashley Davis 7 years ago
Oh my gosh, please no one take her advice. Definitively not going to help.
Load More Replies... DancingToMyself 7 years ago
Why, oh, please, WHY would she imagine that?! What's with you?
Load More Replies... Ashley Davis 7 years ago
Are you assuming that mental illness can't happen without being provoked by medication?
Load More Replies... Iapetos 7 years ago
No, you simply want to have halluzinations and explore your mind. Schizophrenia is a serious issue: You can't control your halluzinations and you're haunted and scared by them. They might tell you you're worthless or to kill yourself and so forth, and you feel insecure about yourself.
Load More Replies... MidS 7 years ago
Schizophrenia has a strong genetic/biological basis. Mediums don't help fix the imbalance of neurotransmitters in the brain or fix her genetic predisposition to the mental illness. Medications and therapy help, and I've got loads of research to back it up.
Load More Replies... MidS 7 years ago
Step 1: Get educated on mental illnesses. Step 2: Keep judgemental and highly ignorant thoughts to yourself. Step 3: Be taken seriously(?)
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