When you were a kid, what was your toy of choice? Were you more of a Lego kid who could sit in the corner for hours building an intricate metropolis? Or did you prefer Polly Pockets and Barbies? Maybe your favorite thing to play with was a stuffed animal like a Beanie Baby or a Webkinz. Regardless of what your most prized toy was, the beauty of having a playroom or enjoying play time at daycare was that we didn’t have to pick the same toy every single day. One morning, you might be more into the little green army men, and the next day, a Barbie doll might pique your interest. We were free to enjoy Legos and baby dolls equally. Unfortunately, however, some adults like to arbitrarily guide children towards specific toys based on their gender.

One TikToker, Arc-Warrior, shared a video earlier this year explaining the value of challenging gender stereotypes when it comes to children’s toys. His post went viral, and thousands of people weighed in with replies about how they have personally witnessed empathy bloom in their little ones who played with dolls. Below, you can read the full story, as well as an interview with mother and blogger Katie Femia, of The Homespun Hydrangea, and let us know in the comments if you or your children liked to play with dolls at a young age. Then if you’re looking for another Bored Panda article calling out gender stereotypes and sexist behavior, check out this story next. 

This TikToker is advocating for parents to challenge gender stereotypes when it comes to what toys their children play with

Image credits: Teo Zac (not the actual photo)

Image credits: arc_warrior

To gain some insight on this topic, we reached out to Katie Femia, mother, author and the woman behind The Homespun Hydrangea blog. When asked why boys should be playing with dolls from a young age, Katie told Bored Panda, “I feel as though our first experiences caring for others comes through play with dolls. Learning to hold smaller children, care for them, feed them, and interact with them in a positive manner often starts with dolls where children model and practice the behaviors they see in the world around them.”

“This type of experience shouldn’t just be limited to girls but is something boys can benefit from as well,” Katie noted. “Playing with dolls is hands on practice for caring for others, dressing and caring for dolls allows for fine motor skill building, and the experience in general allows for creativity to flourish. All children can benefit from this experience, and when presented the opportunity for doll play without adult interference, boys can enjoy the experience and the lessons it provides.”

We also asked Katie if she has personally seen the positive effects of young boys playing with dolls. “Very much so. I taught preschool for several years, and I am mom to one very rambunctious boy,” Katie shared. “I have never identified dolls as a ‘girls activity’ and allowed for my son and students to freely choose dolls as an activity. I would praise them if I saw them caring nicely for their dolls, and for especially young children I saw them get great practice with fine motor skills such as using buttons, brushing hair, putting on doll shoes, tying them, etc. For some children, caring for a doll may be the first experience they have caring for someone smaller than them. To see this care in action is a beautiful thing.”

“My son has still forged his own path in life, I don’t feel as though giving him dolls as a play option has done anything but made him a better human,” Katie explained. “He loves football, he can name every NFL player in the league, and he also realizes the responsibility he has to be a caring and empathetic human. Allowing children to choose from what was traditionally considered a ‘girl toy’ such as dolls and play kitchens has only helped him enjoy more vast experiences and learn life skills that every child can benefit from. My son is gentle and caring with those smaller than him and can cook one heck of a deviled egg.”

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We also asked Katie if she thinks there is a lack of focus on raising empathetic boys in our society. “A few years ago I would have said yes. But I feel very optimistic that this focus of empathy is changing quickly and becoming more of a priority to parents and caregivers,” Katie told Bored Panda. “We see viral videos of boys and men showing empathy trending daily, whether it be them aiding an animal, the elderly, or enjoying tender moments with their own children. I think if we as a society keep correlating empathy with strength, we will see more of a drive to add it to the list of important characteristics we want our boys, our children, and society in general to master.”

“I remember when I originally wrote [about boys playing with dolls] I was worried about how it would be perceived. A year or so after I wrote it I received an email from a gentleman who’s nephew was interested in playing with dolls, and it was causing some controversy in the family. He said he was printing the article out to share with his brother so he could see the benefits. This warmed my heart, but it also makes me wish for a day where toys are just toys that all children can benefit and learn from. I think we will get there.” If you’d like to hear more wise words from Katie, be sure to check out her blog The Homespun Hydrangea right here.

You can hear his full explanation right here

@arc_warrior #boysbabydolls #playroomstereotypes #genderstereotypes #parenting #robbelementary ♬ original sound – Arc_Warrior

There is no question that raising an empathetic child should be the goal of every parent, but sadly, adults who hold prejudices of their own typically pass them on to their children as well. If your mother and father tell you that dolls are for girls and sports are for boys, that will likely not be the extent of their indoctrination into sexist thinking. But the fact is that boys and girls should be raised the same way, having the opportunity to choose whatever toys, hobbies and clothing they personally prefer. And if your son goes out of his way to practice empathy by playing with a doll, that will likely make him a much better person in the future than someone who is taught to conceal his emotions and to look down upon “girly” things.

Arc_Warrior also notes that he shared this video in light of the recent tragedy that took place at Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, Texas. “On May 24, an 18-year-old gunman wielding an AR-15-style rifle killed 19 children and two teachers at Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, Texas, a small city west of San Antonio,” The New York Times reported. This was the deadliest school shooting in the US since 2012, and it is terrifying to know that someone can commit such an atrocity without exhibiting a shred of empathy.

The gunman, Salvador Ramos, had shot his grandmother in the face earlier that morning before making his way to the elementary school. Now, I’m not going to say that playing with baby dolls as a child would have prevented Salvador from committing this act, but it is vital that we ensure young men and women grow up knowing how to feel empathy to prevent situations like this. Since 1982, men have committed a shocking 127 mass shootings in the United States. In contrast, only three mass shootings have been carried out by women. Clearly, there is a gender gap when it comes to empathy and tendencies towards violence. Furthermore, there is actually proof that playing with dolls can help children harness empathy. According to a study conducted by researchers at Cardiff University, “Doll play activates brain regions that allow children to develop empathy and social information processing skills.” 

Empathy is a skill everyone can benefit from having, not just girls and women, and we can feel the advantages of living in a more empathetic society. If the way kids play can have any effect on strengthening their empathy muscles, I say allow them all to play with as many dolls as they like. After all, they’re just kids trying to have fun. Let us know your thoughts on this video down below, and if you have personally experienced or witnessed the benefits of doll play in yourself or your children, feel free to share those stories with your fellow pandas as well.  

Many people echoed his sentiments in the comments, with some parents noting the benefits they have observed from their kids playing with dolls

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