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As kids, we see our parents as all-knowing people. However, as the years pass, we realize that our moms and dads are just regular humans after all, and that they too don't have all the answers. So we start looking elsewhere.

There's an interesting study published in the British Journal of Political Science, based on data from the U.S. and U.K., which found that parents who are insistent that their children adopt their political views inadvertently influence their children to abandon the belief once they become adults.

This can be explained by the fact that children who come from homes where politics is a frequent topic of discussion are more likely to talk about politics once they leave home, exposing them to new viewpoints—which they then adopt with surprising frequency.

Similar transformations happen in other areas as well. To get a better understanding of them, Reddit users u/nousername1982 and u/ZestyClose_Ad4682 recently started threads asking people to share the things their parents taught them that turned out to be totally wrong. Here are some of the responses, ranging from romantic relationships to personal finance, that we thought might be interesting and worthy of your time.

#1

30 People Share The Dead Wrong Things Their Parents Taught Them, And There Is Actual Wisdom In Their Realizations "If a boy acts like a jerk, it means he likes you!"

No...just no...

First of all, he shouldn't be let off the hook for acting like a jerk. (Whether he's 5 or 105.) Secondly, it teaches girls that abuse is okay, or that they should expect to be treated like crap (and that it's okay for them to be treated like crap.)

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StarmanWaitingInTheSky
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I swear this was initially an embarrassment tactic for the boys to stop pestering girls and it originally stopped being said to the boys at "courting" age. (I put quotes because it's so cheesy and old-fashioned to say "courting", and not something I say normally.)

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    #2

    30 People Share The Dead Wrong Things Their Parents Taught Them, And There Is Actual Wisdom In Their Realizations That sex, sexuality, drinking/drugs/partying, politics, money, spirituality are awkward things to discuss. I want my future kids to know facts and that if they are ever in trouble, I am a safe place for them. We don't have to talk about it if they don't want to, they'll be taught how to be safe, but they should also know that these subjects are a part of life and should not cause shame.

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    StarmanWaitingInTheSky
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    2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I didn't have a safe place to talk about anything, so I made sure I am the safe place for my kid, too. Nothing will shock me. I will not judge, just listen. However, some things do need to be talked about no matter if anyone wants to hear it or not.

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    We managed to get in touch with one of the Redditors that sparked this discussion, u/nousername1982  and they agreed to have a talk about their post and parenting in general.

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    "I don't really [remember] what I was doing exactly [when I came up with the idea to ask the internet this question]," they told Bored Panda.

    "But, I have kids myself who are very curious and ask questions all the time. I made a promise to myself to be as honest with them as possible (without spoiling Christmas). But sometimes it is difficult to give a genuine answer because the truth would make something more difficult to accept. I've seen many Redditors posting about parents telling them they 'can do anything.' I believe those motivational speeches are essential for a child. Probably most of the stories were a variation of that."

    #3

    30 People Share The Dead Wrong Things Their Parents Taught Them, And There Is Actual Wisdom In Their Realizations If you stop reacting, they'll stop bullying you.

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    StarmanWaitingInTheSky
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    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This hits hard. It was the teachers and daycare staff that were saying this trash to me, though. My mom sorta ignored it and thought I was doing something to cause other kids to bully me. No support. Nothing. This carries into adulthood. Eventually you stop caring what other people think but there is a stronger need to be heard the loudest, so you end up repeating the injustices you experience in life to friends and family until they acknowledge your plight, which never happens because you're being a downer, an attention-seeker, and a boring repeater. But you're not really trying to be any of that. You just want to understand why people are shitty towards you of all people.

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    #4

    30 People Share The Dead Wrong Things Their Parents Taught Them, And There Is Actual Wisdom In Their Realizations Lack of empathy. My parents grew up in a really really horrible situation and they made it out and did well for themselves. So now anytime anyone struggles they refuse to feel bad for them because they have gone through worse and did fine. I think people deserve empathy regardless.

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    StarmanWaitingInTheSky
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't know this guy's story or where he comes from, if he's homeless or has a home and struggling with something. I was at Subway and saw him chatting with the staff. He left with nothing. As soon as I started asking what he wanted they said he wanted food, and that he comes in frequently and they used to give him free food but can't continue doing that. I was going to buy him something if that was the case. I was a bit hesitant hearing that it's been a regular occurrence but then I thought I've been homeless and hungry before. Why the hell not. I bought a $10 gift card for them to use it towards him the next time he shows up. If he doesn't show up, someone's got a free gift card regardless and that is just fine.

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    u/nousername1982 thinks that parents and their kids every now and then simply end up on different terms. "Sometimes parents have priorities that kids don't understand, like 'Why are they always having to work that much?' Truth is, at least in my case, I don't have to work that hard, but I'm motivated to advance my career. I'm not working to pay for the food, house, or toys. I'm working for the extras."

    "Also, most parents strive to have an easy life, which is sometimes difficult to combine with kids. You don't want to tell your kids they can't have something because mom or dad doesn't want to make the effort," the Redditor continued. "My parents told me I had to quit my favorite sport because of a kid that was dealing drugs in the club. Later, I realized it was because the drive was too much of a hassle. The drug dealer had little to do in the decision."

    #5

    30 People Share The Dead Wrong Things Their Parents Taught Them, And There Is Actual Wisdom In Their Realizations That parents never have to apologize to their kids.

    I love my dad. He is a great dad and I know he loves me so much, but he has it in his head that even now, even when his youngest (me) is an adult, that he doesn't need to apologize if he does something wrong. It's baffling.

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    StarmanWaitingInTheSky
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    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Same here. Mine barely uses basic manners with me. She does with everyone else. Just not me.

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    #6

    30 People Share The Dead Wrong Things Their Parents Taught Them, And There Is Actual Wisdom In Their Realizations Math and science aren’t gonna serve a girl well.

    I would had killed to have someone reared me into STEM when I was younger.

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    Even though the idea of lying to your kids sounds harsh at first, a study published in the International Journal of Psychology found that 84 percent of the American parents surveyed do it to get them to behave. This is also known as 'instrumental lying.'

    While the decision when to use it is ultimately up to the parents, there are certain situations where it's considered more acceptable. For instance, the fictional story of Santa Claus is universally known, and many young children learn it from their moms and dads. So long as they're not using Santa to threaten the little ones into behaving, it's perfectly fine. Interestingly, one study, published in Child Psychiatry and Human Development, discovered that children who eventually found out the truth about Santa Claus reacted positively to the news.

    #7

    30 People Share The Dead Wrong Things Their Parents Taught Them, And There Is Actual Wisdom In Their Realizations "Respect your elders" but in the sense that you should just keep quiet when you disagree with somebody older than you - turns out many people are awful regardless of their age. Don't get me wrong, my default is to respect any new person I meet, but when a person has repeatedly shown me that they don't are about my feelings or even basic logic, I won't hold back from speaking my mind calmly, even if they see this as disrespectful.

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    John Smith
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My grandad taught me that respect is earned, there is no situation where respect is to be given just because. You don't just get respect from being old. He was a man I respected, and he earned it multiple times over.

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    #8

    30 People Share The Dead Wrong Things Their Parents Taught Them, And There Is Actual Wisdom In Their Realizations Finish your plate. B*tch that is what all that Tupperware is for.

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    However, it's important to remember that there are other ways to go about it. Although parental lying is common, too much of it may lead to negative long-term effects. In a study where the researchers surveyed 379 young Singaporean adults who reported their parents lying during their childhood, they discovered that the participants who were lied to as children were more likely to lie to their parents as adults.

    The study also suggested that parental dishonesty can create trust issues and problems externalizing certain emotions, like aggression.

    #9

    30 People Share The Dead Wrong Things Their Parents Taught Them, And There Is Actual Wisdom In Their Realizations That crying is shameful.

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    Chinmayee Kalghatgi
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had a tendency of crying to easily when i was younger so now nobody takes me seriously when i am in visible distress

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    #10

    30 People Share The Dead Wrong Things Their Parents Taught Them, And There Is Actual Wisdom In Their Realizations That you need to hustle 100% of the time and be constantly busy with school/work, extra activities, side projects, cleaning etc. Spending time unwinding is a sign of laziness and boredeom and intelligent people are never bored. This really messed me up and I'm still learning the art of wasting time.

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    Draaideur
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm quite skilful when it comes to wasting time ... continues opening a few more boredpanda articles

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    "I read some stories about pets that 'ran away,'" u/nousername1982 said. "I too discovered 20 years after the 'dog ran away' that he was euthanized. I can imagine the truth is difficult to share with kids."

    "Other lies are just lame, with no excuse. I shared the story that my father told me he had to get A's every day at work. Of course, that is not true, and it didn't help me to get motivated. A friend of mine tells his kids about a 'dangerous man' coming at night if the kids are not good. This is just bad parenting."

    Even though the Redditor believes it's impossible to raise a kid without lies, they nonetheless think that parents should strive to be honest.

    #11

    30 People Share The Dead Wrong Things Their Parents Taught Them, And There Is Actual Wisdom In Their Realizations My mum made me believe that privacy was a privilege. Wasn't until I started studying childcare and learning in depth about the rights of the child that I learned it is a right and that my mum is full of bullsh*t

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    #12

    “Bullies are cowards.”

    No they aren’t. They’re evil scum who are naively capable of ruining your life for decades after. And they’re not afraid to do so.

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    Panda en Pyjama
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Cowards? They are anything but cowards, they feel all powerful because they literally massacre children who have done nothing to them, well hidden behind the school garbage cans. And if by some miracle this child manages to talk about it, to a teacher or a supervisor, these assholes are smart enough to make everyone believe that it was you who started it and WORST that you deserved it. A "big" (12) girl from daycare (I was 6/7 years old) spent three years telling me every night "your mother is dead, she won't come to get you, she will never come back". It created anxieties in me that I still feel today... But Go die Sarah!!!!

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    If you're contemplating whether or not to bend the truth, experts advise to ask yourself a few questions first:

    • Are you only helping them in the short term, which might affect things in the future?
    • Will your lie confuse them or give them unrealistic expectations of people?
    • Is the lie for you or them?
    • Are they able to understand the truth?

    Often, a child's age and maturity determine whether or not a lie is the way to go!

    #13

    30 People Share The Dead Wrong Things Their Parents Taught Them, And There Is Actual Wisdom In Their Realizations That it’s rude to express any negative emotions.

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    #14

    30 People Share The Dead Wrong Things Their Parents Taught Them, And There Is Actual Wisdom In Their Realizations Tell me the truth I won't be mad.

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    Panda en Pyjama
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Aaaaaaaaand that's how you get to be punished (in the best case) for something as trivial as having forgotten to start the washing machine for the mother-in-law...

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    #15

    30 People Share The Dead Wrong Things Their Parents Taught Them, And There Is Actual Wisdom In Their Realizations That you have to “suffer for love” (I’m a chick). Thanks mom, you set me up for a lifetime of trying to change narcissistic losers.

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    Panda en Pyjama
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My "best friend" when I was a teenager (15), told me that in love or in friendship, if we didn't suffer, it wasn't real... Yeah, of course...

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    #16

    30 People Share The Dead Wrong Things Their Parents Taught Them, And There Is Actual Wisdom In Their Realizations My dad always said. "Children should be seen and not heard." I'm not a big fan of that one

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    Marianne
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This basically tells children that their opinions, experiences and feelings are invalid and their parents don't care about them. Good strategy if you want your adult children never to talk to you again.

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    #17

    Well I was mostly raised by my grandparents. We lived in an all white community and my grandparents believed every terrible thing they had ever been told about black people. I spent my youth being fed those lies but everyone I knew was white and I couldn’t imagine it being true. When I got to college I met my first non white people and was able to verify that the things they believed just weren’t true.

    And luckily both of them realized that before they passed away.

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    #18

    30 People Share The Dead Wrong Things Their Parents Taught Them, And There Is Actual Wisdom In Their Realizations Animals don't get cold, they're made for being outside.

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    #19

    30 People Share The Dead Wrong Things Their Parents Taught Them, And There Is Actual Wisdom In Their Realizations ‘’Parents always know what’s best for their child’’

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    #20

    30 People Share The Dead Wrong Things Their Parents Taught Them, And There Is Actual Wisdom In Their Realizations They're not gay, they're just confused.

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    ᴠᴀ̈ɪɴᴏ🇺🇦
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    bullshite. so what if they're gay? if ya got a problem don't look. just live under a freaking rock your entire life

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    #21

    30 People Share The Dead Wrong Things Their Parents Taught Them, And There Is Actual Wisdom In Their Realizations That their love has conditions, and if not followed they will drop you in your time of need. Right or wrong, I hope my children will never feel like they can’t talk to me or that I will judge them.

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    StarmanWaitingInTheSky
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And some elderly folks wonder why their family dumped them in a care home and don't want to contact them again.

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    #22

    Saying, 'Do as I say, not as I do.' A leader shouldn't ask his followers to do something he wouldn't.

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    #23

    30 People Share The Dead Wrong Things Their Parents Taught Them, And There Is Actual Wisdom In Their Realizations That sex is something to be ashamed of.

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    Miss-Un-Derstood
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Let me guess? Religious parents? Why are they SO obsessed with sex & punishment?

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    #24

    30 People Share The Dead Wrong Things Their Parents Taught Them, And There Is Actual Wisdom In Their Realizations That as long as we “have always been given everything we need we are loved”. The emotional abuse has ruined me

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    Helenium
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    yeah im always called ungrateful or selfish or the "dont you know what we have done for you" when i stand up to their abuse

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    #25

    30 People Share The Dead Wrong Things Their Parents Taught Them, And There Is Actual Wisdom In Their Realizations The man of the house is always right.

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    #26

    30 People Share The Dead Wrong Things Their Parents Taught Them, And There Is Actual Wisdom In Their Realizations No, it's not racist to say that.

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    Loty
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Any discrimination based on skin color is racism. There are no exceptions.

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    #27

    30 People Share The Dead Wrong Things Their Parents Taught Them, And There Is Actual Wisdom In Their Realizations Don't worry about the college loans! You're smart, you'll get a good job and pay that off in a few years.

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    Summer and Luna K
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm a janitor at a very very nice college just so my daughter can have a free education.

    Loty
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As long as you pick a profession that actually pays good wages like engineering. Good luck paying your loans with degree in art appreciation.

    Emmett O'Brian
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Up until about 3 years ago, economists were still beating the "college creates more income" drum. Lately they've been backing off of that but you can still hear the cognitive dissonance when they try and give a "nuanced" response.

    Anine C
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's because it used to be that way. My cost for state college in the 70's was about $1,000 a year. Granted, wages were lower, but $4k debt is not overwhelming.

    GPZ
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Increasingly simply have a college education is not a guarantee of a job. On the other hand, why is getting an education such an expensive thing (looking at places like the US particualrly). Education has always been the ladder out of the poverty trap, but then, if you're goal is to keep them down there makinig an education insanely expensive is a good way to go about it.

    GuyYouMetOnline
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    To be fair, people saying that are usually basing this on how things were when they were on college, when this often was the case. That advice is less wrong and more outdated.

    Lee Diogeneia
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's a lie your parents were fed too. They didn't know any better. The only thing about this that qualifies as "parenting style" is that they believe the government will protect them and that national institutions like banks wouldn't take advantage of them.

    Rick Berton
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, get a degree in gender studies or art history. That'll get you far. Those loans will be paid off in no time

    laura lee
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I also get the "you're such a strong person" as an excuse to s**t on me. B***h my resilience doesn't mean you get to take advantage of me. Imay not be dead yet but I'm now holed up in seclusion because y'all have broken me. This is my family and friends...

    Purple Rose24
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Remove the intrest from student loans! That would go a long way towards making them where they can be paid back. Had this been the case i would be done paying but still have a ways to go because of interest!

    Ginafer Hoskinson
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ‘You’re so smart!’ As if it’s a character trait! Once I had kids I realized that being smart is less important than being compassionate, creative, and willing to learn. Growing up, being smart was all important and when I couldn’t do something I felt like a failure as an adult. It took me years to realize that learning always trumps knowing. Being willing to learn and possibly fail is always smarter than quitting because you don’t already know how to do something.

    MessyMind32
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A lot of places want experience before you work there now which makes it hard to pay off student loans for a practically useless degree

    China Nolan
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My parents told me this. I'm 69 and I'm still paying student loans.

    Clay Tom
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What parents said that? Never heard that at all! How about this one! Go to a community college for the first two years or four places don't care where your graduated from as long as you have a degree!

    Astrum Dea
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah but by now I may have kids a house a family bills a car and have to maybe take care of my family. Where do you expect me to get the money to pay of thousands if not millions (depending on the college) of dollars.

    Phyzzi
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You should have already spent time in the field of your choice by the time you go to college for it. I don't mean in class, I mean working entry level or internships. If you haven't worked with or in the field you are interested in by the time you are going to pay money to become "an expert" at least to some degree, then you are lying to yourself and everyone else.

    Daniel Allen
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What are the interest rates on these loans??? Pay off a 400,000 dollar house in 30 years but can't pay 28,500 for college. It just proves people who hang their degrees in cubicle walls are dumber than the paper it's written on

    Daniel Allen
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Let me guess, it was also a smart idea to get married, have 3 kids and that mortgage by 25 huh? $5000 vacations on the CC? And you wonder why you've been in debt for 35 years, it's cause you ain't smart bubba

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    AnxietyRiddenMom
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You know what? I'm smart. That's what everyone says who knows me. Oh, you're so smart. Will let me tell you what being smart has gotten me. 36,000 in student loans and not so much as a associate's degree. Wanna know why? No one at any point in my youth taught me about managing money. Not in school, not at home, and I had three mindset of spend it now, I'll pay it later. Uh huh. Keep telling myself that

    Tyson James
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You don't need to pay back loans for school in my country. Not paying does literally nothing to your credit and that's the only thing that matters.

    Keri Mascagni
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeh, how may people do you know who actually went into the field they went to school for? Or walked into a non entry-level position?

    Penny Murdaugh
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Be honest about loans. If parents don’t have the money, go somewhere cheaper. Or get a job & help pay, if you want it that bad!

    Nandina
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Learn a trade. A college degree does not guarantee you a job.

    BAWK BAWK BAKAW
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ok? but like it still is EXTREMELY hard to pay stuff off even if you have a well paying job

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    Paul Neff
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    HA... ROFLMAO at the caption.... It took me over 30 years, more than a little luck financially, and only happened because I remortgaged my house. These chains of debt are an evil that needs to be abolished.

    Chris Motard
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not a parents job to pay for college. You wanna go? Then go, it's your bill. I literally just paid for the first 18 years of your life. You want college? Get a job and pay for it.

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    #28

    That it is illegal to have the little ceiling light on in the car.

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    #29

    30 People Share The Dead Wrong Things Their Parents Taught Them, And There Is Actual Wisdom In Their Realizations That i basically have to be a smaller version of them, believe exactly what they do and not think for myself and have my own opinion. If i have kids id let them be open minded and believe what they want

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    C.Douglas
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Every parent should aspire for their kids to be better than them not the same

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    #30

    To try to fit in as much as possible and to please others, at the expense of who you really are on the inside.

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    Johan van Luijn-Hermans
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There are so many things in this list that have hurt me over the years, but this one was probably the worst one for me and is still today. After already years of mental issues, currently recovering from a depression. After 36 years I'm now finally at the point that I really feel like I'm allowed to express myself. Wear the clothes I like, live the life that I like, hell even think what I like. Never, ever tell your kids to be normal, if they are expressing themselves differently. They will start eating away themselves from the inside and at some point they will break.

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    #31

    That people will judge you for colored/ fun it hair, piercings and tattoos. It’s only partly true. They judge you for everything.

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    #32

    That it’s cocky and conceited to show any kind of self confidence.

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    olx
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    my parents used to describe narcissism as loving yourself when i came across it in a book - then told me narcissists are terrible people. so. i remember vividly at one point in year two - when learning love your neighbour as yourself (christian school) - saying "what if i dont love myself" so yea, feeling good.

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    #33

    To wait until marriage. You know they won’t anyway. The best you can do is teach them to be safe and pray they do ok.

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    #34

    "Don't compare yourself with your friends" when they got something I didn't have, while comparing me with my friends whenever they did better than me at something

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    Vorknkx
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ugh, this is so toxic. Every child is different, they can't all solve quadratic equations with the same proficiency.

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    #35

    30 People Share The Dead Wrong Things Their Parents Taught Them, And There Is Actual Wisdom In Their Realizations That you can’t change how things are and you can’t ask questions because “I said so”

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    StarmanWaitingInTheSky
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've only used this during an obnoxious "WhyWhyWhyWhyWhy" moment. Always hated the "because I said so." bit. Ah. Okay. So there's no real reason why. I get it. pfft.

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    #36

    YoUr GeNeRaTiOn Is LaZy, WhY cAnT yOu Be LiKe Us

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    #37

    "you better never bring a black woman home."

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    Gosiaatje
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OMG, to me they added "Or an Asian. Or a Muslim or a Jew"! Only a good Catholic boy of the same ethnic group... I'm glad to say I married an atheist Latino and sent my child to a Jewish pre-school 😋

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    #38

    That crying and expressing your emotions in general is rude, over sensitive and embarrassing.

    It's not. And I hate that I still feel like a piece of sh*t when I can't hold back my tears. Expressing your emotions is natural and healthy. Crying is a mechanism to let go of emotional distress instead of overloading your brain.

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    #39

    Being hypercritical. My parents were very critical of me about so many things. My grades, my performance in extra circular activities, even how I did chores. What was worse was that they would often compare me to others as well, and would only ever praise me when they were basically bragging to other people. An example that always stuck with me was when I had a part time job as a waiter in high school, and my dad would often scold me for wasting my time at a a useless job instead of focusing on school, and how I was just gonna end up being a bum just like my older brother. But then when he's talking to his friends he brags about how his youngest son is so hard working, he even has a part time job in high school!

    It's this sort of hypercriticism is why I struggle a lot with self esteem and confidence. What's worse is that I find myself even being hypercritical of other people's behavior, like if they make a mistake or don't do something how I would've done. I don't snap like my dad would do, but I still find myself immediately getting annoyed. It's something I'm working on, and hope to never do to my future kids.

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    Vorknkx
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hypercriticism always travels with his nasty brother, self-loathing.

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    #40

    30 People Share The Dead Wrong Things Their Parents Taught Them, And There Is Actual Wisdom In Their Realizations Eating cookies before dinner gives you worms. Had nightmares as a child.

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    #41

    30 People Share The Dead Wrong Things Their Parents Taught Them, And There Is Actual Wisdom In Their Realizations That I would get pregnant as soon as I had sex. Told me that as a teenager, so I was terrified I’d get pregnant every time I interacted with a penis. Now (a decade later), I’m married and have been actually trying and it turns it out it’s not as easy as they made it sound

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    #42

    Men and women couldn’t be friends

    I was raised in a weird a*s religion in which almost any amount of communication with the opposite sex was seen as dating. Regularly texting a girl? That may as well be dating. It’s a belief that I’ve had to unlearn after moving out so that I could have normal friendships with people.

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    Panda en Pyjama
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've always gotten along better with boys than with girls (I'm a girl), and I've always had mostly boy friends (gay and straight), I found that they were more frank, simpler, less headaches than girls my age (then with them, I could talk about the things I loved: video games and Magic Gathering!) (And yes, I know that girls like it too) (but I never find one ...)

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    #43

    Apologizing and showing emotions is a sign of weakness

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    GPZ
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Admitting that you're wrong takes incredible courage and character

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    #44

    How it feels to be hit by a belt.

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    Mama Panda
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm almost 56 years old and I remember that feeling well. My dad even used the belt buckle side of it.

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    #45

    That grades determine your future. Grades are important and all, but they shouldn't come before life.

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    jammer
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How does one choose to have either grades or life? While I was getting my grades, I worked, vacationed, paid bills, partied, worried, dated, shopped, had exactly the same life my not-studying friends did. Except now I have my grades and I don’t have to work or worry as hard as them anymore. Working hard in school is much better than working hard throughout your entire life.

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    #46

    One of my friend's grandfather told him that giraffes have long necks to reach over the zoo wall to eat children.

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    #47

    That girls shouldn’t want careers, and therapy and SSRIs are for “crazy people”

    Yeah I’m in a much better place now ever since I got out of that closeminded bubble. My daughter is not going to be shamed by me for her choices.

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    buttonpusher
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The perfect life in my granny's eyes would be finish school, go to college, become a doctor, meet a man, get married, buy house, quit being a doctor, have kids, raise kids, maybe become a doctor when the kids grow up, retire for good and then die.

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    #48

    “You don’t need friends “

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    Gosiaatje
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mine said that true friends don't exist and that you can only count on your family. Or maybe it was simply impossible to be friends with my parents? ;)

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    #49

    "Your job is to do whatever your boss tells you to do."

    This led to a bunch of stupid situations of both me getting walked all over by employers and me quitting jobs over things that could have been fixed with a conversation.

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    #50

    "All drugs are bad" as they take 2 advil and sip a coffee

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    #51

    When I was 11 years old, I was crying hysterically over my father's treatment of me after being placed with him after my mother passed away.

    I won't go into what was happening.

    I will, however, say that in my despair I made the comment that I wished I could be a wild animal instead of human, like a bear for example.

    My father told me that I was dumb for saying that, as mother bears correct their cubs by picking them up and bashing them into rocks until they stop making the mistake they did.

    I thought bears were essentially monsters for a very long time after.

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    #52

    That God and Jesus commanded some 14 year old farm-boy As*hole to start the one true religion in Up-state New York...

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    #53

    Just get a degree and you’ll able to get a very well paying job with health benefits and a solid pension.

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    Nadine Bamberger
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That probably was the case when grandpa went to school but boy things really changed.

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    #54

    We do not drink regular Coca-Cola because red soda cans would clash with our jewelry. Here is a dollar. Go get Mommy a Diet Coke and you may have a Diet Caffeine Free Coke. It is gold-colored and you were good today.

    We do not put sugar in our tea because the corrosive effects of glucose could degrade the glaze on the china. The pink packets are saccharin and the blue are aspartame. Aspartame pairs best with pekoe black tea, for green tea, use saccharin. Trust Mommy, dear.

    We try new foods to be polite, and we find something nice to say about them to the hostess. If you cannot think of anything good to say about the food, say "What a lovely party, Mrs. B," or praise how everything looks. Yes, exactly. 'Just like a picture' is perfect. You've been reading again. Of course we can go eat food we know we like afterwards if there's nothing we can eat much of, but try something to be polite.

    Well, the doctors say girls can't get autism, though, so I expect we're just picky eaters. Ladies often are.

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    #55

    The dog went with the mailman. RIP Hazel.

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    #56

    My parents fought a lot. They'd both get very emotional about things and raise their voices in every argument. By example I will teach them that when you are angry, take a break from the argument until you've both calmed down.

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    StarmanWaitingInTheSky
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    " Come back here. I wasn't finished talking. DON'T walk away from ME! You're NOT going to win this argument." - With narcissists it won't matter.

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    #57

    That if I shave a dog, it'll turn into a cat.

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    #58

    "Don't trust anyone, ever" said my dad, who is retired with no friends and no social life after frequently burning bridges throughout his life. I was about 8. It took me almost 20 years to actually learn how to socialize and have trusting, healthy relationships with people.

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    #59

    I asked my dad what the biggest number ever was, he either realized it was an impossible question and I was going to argue if he said “there is no biggest number”, or was messing with me. Anyway, imagine the laughter when in like 3rd grade we all had to go around and name a number and I said “big toe trillion”.

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    Donkey boi
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I was a kid I asked my dad the same question, He said 'the largest number with a name is Centillion, but there isn't really a highest'. Now, my dad never finished school and never knew much of anything except driving (every job he's ever had was a driving job), So I figured he was making it up. I asked my teacher at school and she said the same thing! Turns out my dad had bought an encyclopaedia and was reading it in secret.

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    #60

    My dad on finances, “when you have money you spend it and when you run out you just stay home”

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    Metallicd3ath
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    To save or to spend, the eternal ordeal. I think what people want, but can't grasp (I can't speak for everyone, though), is that a nest egg is a great backup to have, but money does no good just sitting there. The way my parents always put it is "you should do something for yourself with your income, so that you have something to show for all your work every week."

    #61

    That I will become stupid if I eat too many hazelnuts and that I will become dark skinned if I eat lamb spleen (yes they just wanted them for themselves and yes my parents were racist)

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    #62

    Just a "dot" of soap is all you need for doing ALL the dishes. "Don't be wasteful"... Ya ok.

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    GxldenSpxrk
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not even half a sponge covered with soap don't wash the dishes smh

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    #63

    They said: don't be friends with the "bad kids". For my parents my whole class were "bad" even they were quite normal. So I ended with no friends because my parents didn't allow me to go outside with them.

    Those "bad kids" are now normal, succesful and friends with each other, but not with me.

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    Bexx 🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh yeah when I was like 11 I had a friend whose mum told her she couldn’t hang out with me because I was a “bad kid.” I was on the honour roll, in the gifted programs, a band student and one of only 2 students invited into the teacher band, had won 2 science fairs and was in Girl Guides, horseback riding and had multiple international pen pals. Was in soccer and spent my time devouring books. We invented a game with paper horses cut out from magazines and got made fun of by the other 11 year olds who were more into makeup and celebrities than paper dolls by then. No time to get in trouble! But I had a lot of energy and I thought swear words were funny 😂 my bad but it really threw me off when she told me , like me?? The ultimate nerd and nice girl, a bad kid??

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    #64

    Video Games will get you nowhere in life, boy were they wrong...

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    Legendteller
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had this exact same comment said to me when I was younger, Now I'm a Creative director of my own gaming studio company. Married a beautiful women I met in an online game, moved country and have 3 amazing little children. ALL thanks to gaming.

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    #66

    To hide and ignore their own emotions

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    #67

    Joining the military is all about protecting freedom.

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    #68

    Narcissism

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    Cecily Holland
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Otherwise known as living vicariously through your child so you can feel better about your failures

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    #69

    My dad told me he had to get an A every day at work. Turns out a C is good enough and you can cheat most of the time.

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    Skye_Innit
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have all Cs and Im in sixth grade not failing but my little sister is in fourth grade having all As thinking that she has to be perfect

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    #70

    That i'm a handsome young man

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    Sarcastic Cow
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A bit sad, if you´re a girl. But if you´re boy, I have no doubt that you are!

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    #71

    How to change an electrical outlet, 120 volts, LIVE.
    Good stuff.

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    #72

    When I was in kindergarten, the teacher asked us to go home and ask our parents how many days are in a year. So I went home and asked my dad:

    "240 days, son."

    Imagine my disappointment the next day when my teacher said that was wrong! Dad swears I never asked that or if I did I misunderstood his answer, but I heard what I heard.

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    Rahul Pawa
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe he was counting work days or week days? He'd be pretty close if that's the question he heard.

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    #73

    I learned to draw anime and my dad is a portrait artist. He always said start woth the eyes, which is okay when you're drawing portraits of people, but a strong foundation of building up simple shapes and getting more detailed with each pass is truly what I needed to know. Didn't change the way I drew til I was roughly 24 years old, and when I did productivity skyrocketed. Side note: my stepmom told me I should try to not use an eraser at all... she's not an artist.

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    Sareaesque
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The eraser comment isn't a bad idea in moderation. I set myself a challenge for a while where I wasn't allowed to use an eraser, carried it on for a few months. It did wonders for my sketching as it forced me to work around my mistakes rather than focusing on fixing one area for ages, and how to build my layers from rough sketch to finished piece on one sheet without it being one big black smudge.

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    #74

    How to open a beer bottle with my teeth

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    Chinmayee Kalghatgi
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don’t open anything with your teeth folks. I am terrified of ever having to do that

    #75

    To be petty

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    #76

    That you can be ANYTHING. There are some things in life that you just will never be cut out for. My parents told me that I will be the next president if I work towards it. My family told me I would become an astronaut one day and have millions of dollars and a mansion.

    Some people think that you can do anything, but you’re not.

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    Stephanie Did It
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was taught the opposite, that I was only being cared for by my grandparents because nobody else wanted me and somebody had to step up for the job. No affection, no encouragement, no guidance for future life. I've been suffering with self worthlessness my entire life.

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    #78

    That work should be something you love

    It just has to be tolerable. If you make work your life, you will feel hit hard by the rough stages of work, which any job has. And you'll feel bad for taking a sick day, or miss it when you should be enjoying time off

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    Loty
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You spend 9-10+ hours 5 days a week at your work or commuting to work. It'd better be something you love and not merely tolerated. Loving what you do doesn't mean you live for you work.

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