Friend going on second marriage a few states away. They have lived together for 14 years and have grown kids out in the world from previous relationships. I feel like I’m being handed a bill again. Plane tix, rental car, hotel, childcare and paying someone to feed and walk my dog so they can celebrate their “marriage”

#1

If it's too far away your friend will hopefully understand.
I'm in their situation as well - I invited family to my wedding who live a few thousand km away. I don't expect them to attend our wedding.

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#2

I guess it would depend on the situation. If it was a late life wedding and they are doing fine, then maybe something small. If it should be considered a better marriage because of past abuse, neglect, or the first one was really short lived then yes

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Miguel justino C
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Doing fine, no past abuse, and have multiple children. Iโ€™m hardcore when it comes to vows. I will spend over 2k and wonโ€™t get to take our family vacation without accruing more debt.

#3

It is ok if you cannot afford going or if you are too busy. But its definitely not ok to talk about their wedding as if it is less just for being a second one or because they lived together long before.

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Miguel justino C
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Whatโ€™s the point of vows then? Like I said, Iโ€™m being handed a giant bill and will have little vacation left. So they can celebrate their 20 year common law marriage. Then I have to put my daughters vacation on hold and save more.