“What’s The Worst Thing People Have Tried To Justify With ‘It Was Normal Back Then’?” (40 Answers)
Times are constantly changing. In the majority of the world, women have way more opportunities than they did a century ago, and the technological advancements we've seen in recent decades are mind-blowing. But at the same time, saving up enough to purchase a home is nearly impossible for many young people today, even if their parents had no issues buying a house in their twenties. We all seem to be living in a completely different world than our grandparents had when they were young, but one of the best changes we’ve seen is a decreased tolerance for toxic behavior.
Redditors have been calling out the worst actions that they’ve heard people attempt to justify by noting how common they were in the past, so we’ve gathered some of their thoughts below. From tactics parents used to discipline their little ones to casually driving home after a few beers, be sure to upvote the behaviors that you’re glad have finally become stigmatized!
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I pointed out that the Mayan and Aztecs' child sacrifice practices weren't any less barbaric because they happened a long time ago, and I got downvoted to hell here.
How many witches were burned at the stake during the salem witch trials?
None. There’s no such things as witches, they burned innocent girls and women. Awful.
Open sexual harassment, unwanted touching, SA, etc against secretaries, female assistants, etc by their bosses. Woman were supposed to just grin and bear it.
Spousal r*pe. It was legal up until 1983 in Canada. It wasn’t until 1993 that it became illegal in ALL of the US; prior to that it was only illegal in 3 as of 1975. I’ve heard some men reminisce about the days when they didn’t need consent from their wives. I’ve even heard women condemn other women for having the “nerve” to ever deny their husbands sex. It’s disgusting.
Definitely slavery, not just because it's a horrible thing to justify but also because people try to justify it *so often*.
One of the most popular lies in America is the lie that the so-called "founding fathers" can't be judged for owning slaves because that was accepted practice back then. In fact, the judge in the British Somerset case called slavery an "odious institution" in 1772: well before the US constitution was written. The abolition movement was very much in full swing in the anglosphere at the time. The Somerset ruling banned slavery in the British Isles in 1772. Canada banned slavery in 1793.
And yet Americans persist in pretending that slavery was widely accepted with no concerns at the time of the country's founding, just because they don't want to admit that the US founding fathers were bad people. They have their very own mythology, complete with heroes and villains, and they will not tolerate harsh criticism of those heroes.
Just yesterday i had someone try telling me they regretted taking the covid vaccine and that "back than no one took vaccines".
I replied with "and people got polio".
"My parents whipped my butt and screamed at me. I turned out fine."
Umm... no you didnt. You need therapy, boundaries, and a healthier friend group.
Open misogyny and sexual harassment in the workplace. I’m a 64 yo professional woman and the behavior of some my male colleagues and superiors was horrible. And no one batted an eye.
Adult musicians sleeping with puberty-aged groupies. Guarantee every single one of your faves did it or was in a band with someone who did.
Automatically needing to respect your elders (and anyone older than you) just because it's the 'right' thing to do, not because they deserve your respect or did anything to earn it, but just because.
All forms of bullying. It looked cool from people in high school according to my classmates. Now some of my classmates were now gone due to bullying. It’s not cool.
Horrific mistreatment of disabled people. It’s still not great on a general global scale, but at least we don’t get left in the woods as infants or stuck in freak shows to entertain the masses.
Ownership and the subservience of women. "Back in my day the women didn't vote or work, they waited on their knees for the husband to come home with a hot meal in one hand a strong drink in the other" along with a litany of other female slave fantasies men have of modern women.
That is also a thing in the bible, if someone hurt a women so she miscarriages, they are supposed to pay money to her spouse or otherwise her father. That is nothing in the line of being an independent individual!
That's because the wife and child were property. It wasn't a crime against a person, it was property damage.
Load More Replies...as Bette Midler said, "Women are the waitresses at the banquet of life." “What are we ladies? What are we? We are waitresses at the banquet of life! Get into that kitchen and rattle them pots and pans - and you better look pretty good doin' it too, 'else you gonna lose you good thing. And why do we do that, I'll tell you why we do that? We do that to find love - Oh I love to be in love - don't you love to be in love?” Bette Midler
Being a "traditional housewife" is fine. It's the fetishizing of it that's completely off the rails in a culturally dangerous way. I'm a "homemaker" and my husband earns all our income. It's just the life we both chose for us. It has nothing to do with anyone else and it most definitely isn't a moral or political statement or superior to any other way of structuring a relationship. I *despise* being associated with "tradwife" in any way.
Load More Replies...Not true - in older times (think medieval) women had work both inside and outside the house. It wasn't until there were 'salaries' that it became the norm for women to stay at home. Women were business owners for centuries before the Victorians imposed their thinking on the populace.
I don't know anyone who says this or longs for those days. I do however know many women who wanted to be housewives but didn't have the opportunity because all adults in a house need to work these days just to make ends meet.
And that's how you end up with arsenic in your coffee (for legal purposes, this is a joke)
If they did that I can guarantee it's because they either wanted to, which is the goal, a nice consensual relationship, or they were forced to. I've been prevented from leaving the home before - no school or work. It's not pretty.
Lynching black people for failing to show the proper deference to a white man on the street.
My grandma was telling us about some random stuff about her life as a kid, the usual, and then she dropped that her neighbor would give her a quarter to see her underwear? when she was like 5-6? wild s**t
also cheating on your spouse .
Listening to stories from older colleagues there is so much stuff that was considered standard practice that would give Health and Safety an aneurysm these days. S**t like handling asbestos with zero protective equipment, even after people started realizing how bad it was for your health! Or guys working with natural gas lighting up a ciggie on the job site and it being perfectly fine because "we're not smoking near where people are working with gas at the moment".
Hazing, overworking and basically bullying new employees. C**p like “it’s character building” or “well, I had to do it”. I think people perpetuate this nonsense because they are basically trying to get some sort of revenge.
Gay jokes. Go watch movies from the 80's & 90's. Or just watch "Friends," there were cheap gay gags in basically every episode. .
I take care of a 95 year old woman with dementia who had a black lab as a child. The dogs name was “n**ger”. She sometimes talks about her dog and calls it by name, and everyone reacts how you’d expect, and she always says, “He needed a name! A dog needs a name!”
Not sure if it quite fits this thread, but I was reminded of it so I shared.
Hitting a spouse. My favorite tv show of all time is “I Love Lucy” and I have such a hard time watching Ricky put Lucy over his knee. Makes my stomach turn.
Maybe riding around in the open bed of a pickup truck all over town and highways when I was a kid in the 70s.
Cat calling. Honestly can’t remember a time it was okay, but I’m always confused when guys try to justify themselves with “it’s just a comment. It’s always been like this” when I (a woman) get upset. Like I know my a*s is amazing but keep it to yourself, you know?
My friend quite seriously told me she didn’t understand the issue with Bill Cosby because quaaludes were all the rage and this is just how it used to be for women around men. Never thought I’d see myself storming out of a Los
Angeles McDonald’s in anger but sure enough it did indeed happen.
Not back then, but in the present.
I have heard from a relative that pregnancies of indigenous children in my country are normal because it is "part of their culture".
Drinking and driving. Every adult over 60 wants me to understand why those were the good ol days.
"When I was starting out, our bosses abused us 10 times as badly as what you get pampered with, you don't know how good you got it".
Smoking at 12.
*Note to the usual suspects: please read what I'm about to say for understanding before downvoting it. Thank you* We can all feel morally superior to our ancestors because we know better these days, right? However, how many of us stop to consider which practices we think are morally and legally sound today may, in the future, see us as soundly condemned as we condemn past generations? What do we shrug off as perfectly normal that might make our descend scream 'WHAT THE HELL WERE THEY THINKING'?
Some people knew better back then too, but the others didn't listen to them.
Load More Replies...A lot of them are still happening, yes, but at least they're no longer considered normal or acceptable by society at large.
Load More Replies...Of course none of those things are justified; however, we shouldn't give ourselves as individuals any credit for not going along with child sacrifice and slavery in a society where that isn't normalized. The sad truth is that it is incredibly statistically unlikely that you wouldn't have gone along with those things if you had been born in a previous generation. And if you want to prove to yourself that you would have been the one to oppose the brutality? Defy the socially accepted cruelty that's happening now. Fight to end all slavery in the world, to give disabled people all reasonable accommodations with dignity, and to get food and healthcare to all who need it.
My grandma had a man show himself to her one day when she was a kid and all my great grandma said was"oh I'm sorry sweetie,but you know,that's just how men are". SERIOUSLY!?
I hate how men engaging in predatory behavior is "boys will be boys" but women wearing comfortable clothes that don't cover everything is "slutty" to the old fashioned worldview.
Load More Replies...I love old movies and television, but it's so cringe when I see how they used to make it a humorous plot point when a married man chased women or cheated on his wife. At the same time, any woman who dared to even call attention to herself was an evil harlot.
I used to be sexually harassed in high school in a daily basis because I had big breasts. Boys would hold my arms and hands behind my back, so other boys could oogle. I couldn't be alone after school because I would get cornered by a boy wanting "just to touch." It happened daily during and after school, on campus. It was the 90s.
Not using pain relief for many medical procedures because 'it doesn't actually hurt' or 'they wont remember it'. Pain relief is cheap and readily available it should be used when medical/veterinary procedures are done.
Aboriginal Australians were not considered human until the 70s. They were considered native animals and were treated as such. Many people still think its ok the treat Aboriginal people like this. Australia isnt the only country to treat original people as less than human.
*Note to the usual suspects: please read what I'm about to say for understanding before downvoting it. Thank you* We can all feel morally superior to our ancestors because we know better these days, right? However, how many of us stop to consider which practices we think are morally and legally sound today may, in the future, see us as soundly condemned as we condemn past generations? What do we shrug off as perfectly normal that might make our descend scream 'WHAT THE HELL WERE THEY THINKING'?
Some people knew better back then too, but the others didn't listen to them.
Load More Replies...A lot of them are still happening, yes, but at least they're no longer considered normal or acceptable by society at large.
Load More Replies...Of course none of those things are justified; however, we shouldn't give ourselves as individuals any credit for not going along with child sacrifice and slavery in a society where that isn't normalized. The sad truth is that it is incredibly statistically unlikely that you wouldn't have gone along with those things if you had been born in a previous generation. And if you want to prove to yourself that you would have been the one to oppose the brutality? Defy the socially accepted cruelty that's happening now. Fight to end all slavery in the world, to give disabled people all reasonable accommodations with dignity, and to get food and healthcare to all who need it.
My grandma had a man show himself to her one day when she was a kid and all my great grandma said was"oh I'm sorry sweetie,but you know,that's just how men are". SERIOUSLY!?
I hate how men engaging in predatory behavior is "boys will be boys" but women wearing comfortable clothes that don't cover everything is "slutty" to the old fashioned worldview.
Load More Replies...I love old movies and television, but it's so cringe when I see how they used to make it a humorous plot point when a married man chased women or cheated on his wife. At the same time, any woman who dared to even call attention to herself was an evil harlot.
I used to be sexually harassed in high school in a daily basis because I had big breasts. Boys would hold my arms and hands behind my back, so other boys could oogle. I couldn't be alone after school because I would get cornered by a boy wanting "just to touch." It happened daily during and after school, on campus. It was the 90s.
Not using pain relief for many medical procedures because 'it doesn't actually hurt' or 'they wont remember it'. Pain relief is cheap and readily available it should be used when medical/veterinary procedures are done.
Aboriginal Australians were not considered human until the 70s. They were considered native animals and were treated as such. Many people still think its ok the treat Aboriginal people like this. Australia isnt the only country to treat original people as less than human.