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If you hate wasting time walking around the mall, online shopping might be right up your alley. It’s fast, it’s efficient, and it has become almost like a lifeline during quarantine. When you have something specific in mind, you often turn to the retail giant Amazon, a go-to site for virtually everything. Yet, once you scroll past the items you need, things take a bizarre turn.

The Worst Things For Sale (TWTFS) is a Twitter account dedicated to the most horrible objects on the web. After all, there’s plenty to choose from. The creator, Drew Fairweather, combs the site and handpicks "one terrible item every day" to make his followers a little baffled and a lot amused.

So if you’re looking for a terrible gift guide, you’ve come to the right place because we have selected some of the weirdest things the account had to offer. Continue scrolling, upvote the ones you enjoyed most, and tell us what you think about them in the comments!

When people say that all things should have a function and a purpose, they've probably never stumbled upon an enormous USB-compatible Enter Key or a fried chicken phone case. The internet is chock full of items so extreme that they seem unreal. Yet, all it takes is one look at Amazon to recognize that it’s a true treasure trove of weird, strange, and peculiar objects. 

We reached out to Drew Fairweather, the founder of the account, to learn more about his project and the inspiration behind it. The artist not only writes The Worst Things For Sale blog but is also the author of the daily comics Toothpaste For Dinner and Married To The Sea

Fairweather started TWTFS about ten years ago when he was simply looking through Amazon. He noticed that there were many weird and hilarious items "always peeking out from under what I was actually trying to find," he told Bored Panda. Ever since then, the author has faithfully documented the oddest and most pointless objects found online. "Once you realize the breadth of bizarre things available there, you can't un-see them!" 

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Invisible Potato
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have seen it, its actualy amazing becase it hugely desexualite woman wearing it, so they arent fpcus of some random boner

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When it comes to the Twitter account, it now has more than 11.6K followers. This shows just how many people are drawn in by a desire to discuss and figure out why on earth such things exist in the first place. Also, why some people actually buy them. Well, as they say, one person’s trash is another’s treasure.

"Since buying items is the main creative outlet of most people—most Americans, at least—people enjoy seeing unusual items for sale," he said. Statista reports that Amazon was responsible for 50 percent of US e-commerce spending in 2021. One of the company’s key tools to increase that spending is Amazon Prime, a membership that gives you free and fast shipping, plus extra privileges like streaming music and video. 

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In 2018, as many as 62 percent of their customers in the US were Prime members. According to Statista, they are highly engaged shoppers who spend a lot of money—more than double the amount of non-Prime members per year—and are relevant to Amazon’s success. 

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Fairweather also writes about items "that seem normal—branded waffle irons, pink screwdrivers—that have a strange or sinister subtext hidden beneath the sales pitch." When it comes to some of the most bizarre things he has ever come across, it has to be the "BabySaver, a box where you store your child's baby teeth after they fall out." 

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"The box has holes for each tooth, so you can reassemble your child's teeth into a jaw-shaped curio," he explained. "If that's not enough, it has a slot in the middle for your child's umbilical cord." 

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Scagsy
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe the follow-up is Melanie's Funeral and then Melanie's Wake to complete the trilogy. Not many twists, I'll be honest. Unless there's a crossover into George's Marvellous Medicine.

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When it comes to finding such items floating around Amazon, he revealed that most of them he has dug up on his own, though his followers also help with suggestions. "I tend to stay away from novelty items, which are those intentionally created to be 'wacky,' since there's nothing unusual or sinister about these." 

"I'd rather write about something like Extylus, which is a stylus for your smartphone that you strap to your finger, so you can use your finger to control your smartphone."

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Chris Lehr
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That’s actually quite funny… I think even Jesus would laugh at this.

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"As with any items manufactured and sold, these were all created with the purpose of making money! A lot of these companies, I'd imagine, start with someone having an idea they hope will be popular, a niche product that will become the next Beanie Baby or Scrub Daddy," he told us. "They're then put through the wringer of marketing to become one of the abominations I write about, like Bumper Dumper, the toilet you attach to the trailer hitch of your truck."

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Madison Feehan
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My family destroyed capitalism and the only thing they brought back was this tee shirt.

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The artist revealed that his ultimate goal is to make people think about what they’re buying and why. "These products are mostly made of plastic, manufactured by underpaid factory workers, sold at a premium to people who don't need them," he explained. 

"They're a colossal waste of energy and material resources, and it engenders suffering from the human cost of manual labor, the occupational health hazards experienced by the workers, and the ecological damage done by extracting these limited resources from the Earth." 

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Call Me Mars
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ok but I NEED this! I have autism and HATE when food touches, and I would buy this is an INSTANT!

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Fairweather continued: "The very richest people accumulate wealth and use their power to strip the rest of us of health and happiness, then sell it back to us, one plastic piece at a time. We don't need any of these things! It's all a symptom of a society which has prioritized the accumulation of the wealthy over all other aspects."

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Flopsy
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wonder if it stores the pee or it just flows out on the other side, and you use it more like a watering can.

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May
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Am I missing something? Why is everyone so grossed out? Pre covid testers for moisturizes were common, and that's essentially what Vaseline is, isn't it?

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So while these awful objects catch our attention and allow us to let out some genuine laughs, they also show a much deeper problem. Remember that each time we consume a product, we support certain businesses and their values. So next time you want to buy a funny-looking thing online, think long and hard whether it's actually worth it.

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OctoPaige
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

At least make it sticky notes so it doesn't get erased by your sleeve. Amateurs

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WilvanderHeijden
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You can even store the umbilical cord and the lanugo in it. Every proud parent should have one.

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Lauren Caswell
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Amazing how much american flag apparel there is. I'm sure that there's something written that the flag is not supposed to be worn

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IsABELLA
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think its to prepare your cat for a baby in the house so it doesn't eat your child

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Luther von Wolfen
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Because you can't just use your hands to shape hamburger into any shape you want.

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ThatOneWriter
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For the niche market of people who want to date characters from early Simpsons video games

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Madison Feehan
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

🎶 Don't tell me what to do, and don't tell me what to say, if I eat cheese from a gun, don't tell me how to behave! 🎶

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WilvanderHeijden
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I find it offending that they assume that only dogs want to video chat. Cats also want to video chat with their slaves at times.

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ThatOneWriter
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I could see this being useful for people with certain mobility issues.

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kristina law
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Taken my arms! Taken my legs! Taken my soul! Left me with life in hell! One of the best songs ever written!

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Vorknkx
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In today's episodes of "Products that should have died off in 2009"...

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ZAPanda
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

being poor does not authorise you to go to walmart in shitstained underpants.

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Jihana
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Isn't that the guy who directed the movie The Holy Mountain? Fellow pandas, if you never heard of that movie go and watch the trailer, it's WILD! I don't think I ever recovered from that....um...experience. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmR0vi0ifzE

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cybermerlin2000
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For those days when you drop one so mean, it causes a log jam that would scare off the most determined Canadian. So evil that when it hits the sea, it will single-handedly sink 4 Russian subs and block the Panama Canal

thebossanovabird
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For when you take a poop so big you need to cut it up into smaller pieces so it can go down the drain. (Based off a true story.)

Something
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

https://www.reddit.com/r/MuseumOfReddit/comments/ke8skw/the_poop_knife/

GPZ
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why???? How do you wake up one morning and decide that THIS is something the world needs?

Tobias the Tiger
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"I was 22 years old when I learned that not every family has a poop knife."

TrashPandaSociety
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Better than having to pinch a loaf? Oi. I hope it isn't sharp. Not a good place to put a sharp knife....

DaVo
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You don't use it up your bum. It's for dividing the poop into smaller poops. So they'll flush.

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DaVo
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have this exact one. It's amazing, lying down in your hammock and just watching it mow your lawn.

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JJ
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I even use a Blackberry in 2022 ... as in this very moment ... yes, with a real keyboard ... 🤭

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Lauren Caswell
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They were mostly for 2000 and 2001, I don't see the point in dragging it out. We were excited the year finally had multiple zeroes in it was all

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Peej Maybe
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Imagine being a kid excitedly opening this present from one of your grandparents and finding out it's a calculator.

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WilvanderHeijden
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, doesn't work when they are not magnetized under an oak tree during the Northern Summer Solstice by a certified druid.

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Ryan Deschanel
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You will definitely win the corporate-ugly-sweater-contest every year thanks to that.

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WilvanderHeijden
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Look at her, she's been sat there for 10 years and she still can't levitate.

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OctoPaige
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wanted something just like this last night! (And I was out of bread.)

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Ryan Deschanel
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Le'ts get down to businness to defeat the Huns... Great, now I will have this song rstuck in my mind for hours!

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ZAPanda
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

still fascinates me that people will use all the products of science - you know, space ships, aircraft, nuclear power stations, cars, GPS, cellphones, computers, etc - but when it comes to medicine and how the body works they are like, no, screw science, Im going to go with some theory from like 5000 years ago.

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WilvanderHeijden
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People who have suffered traumatic brain injury would probably find this highly amusing. Not everyone is as easily offended as some people think they should be.

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WilvanderHeijden
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's a hint to the "Now this is what I call [ Rock, Rap, Country, the 70's, the 80's] collections to sell people the same songs they already have on other "Now this is what I call....." albums.

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Ryan Deschanel
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People who need to die : whoever created that horrific 3Ds illustriation.

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Bacony Cakes
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Now, i'm not saying anything particular, but "Elder Knight" sounds a bit like "Grand Wizard".

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WilvanderHeijden
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's a card game where you have to win despite the fact that the rules are changed every 10 seconds, no card is what it appears to be and you're allowed to keep cards up your sleeve.

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Heather Vandegrift
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why is it that in America, pot is still illegal in a majority of states, but alcohol (which is SIGNIFICANTLY worse for both the person using it and society) is so widely accepted that there's a market (however stupid) for things like this?!? I've never been afraid that I was going to get hurt by a stoned person, but drunk people are unpredictable and scary!

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Kira Okah
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's a sports guard, it would be covered by your gear, what is the issue with it?

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