“I Will Never Be Able To Forget That”: 45 Of The Worst Things People Heard From Their Parents
Toxic parents exist, unfortunately. They scar their children for life through their hurtful words and inconsiderate actions. What’s worse is it can turn into a vicious cycle and cause generational trauma.
You’re about to read answers to a Reddit question that asked, “What’s the worst thing your parents have ever said to you?” People didn’t hold back and shared stories ranging from invalidated feelings to their mothers and fathers wishing they were never born.
Scroll through, but be forewarned that some of these texts involve themes of attempted self-harm and forced intimacy. Proceed with caution.
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In the hospital after trying to k*ll myself, my mother said to me with hate in her eyes, "You couldn't even do that right." I was 14. F**k you mom, I keep living just to spite you now!
I occasionally drink. My sister died from alcoholism.
She was in a coma in the bed at the hospital suffering from liver failure. I was there with my Dad.
He said "I always though this would happen to you. Not her."
I have ALWAYS been the straightedge kid, she smoked, drank, did d***s. I was the Church youth group kid, she was just there if her bf at the time was. I barely drink, she was an alcoholic. I never smoked, she did. I don't do d***s, she did. I've always been monogamous, she was not. I've given them money to help them through tough spots, she convinced them to give her their retirement and blew it.
The exact opposite of her. But my Dad and my Mom always made her the priority and thought she was a 'princess'.
So as she was dying from the things she did. They dared to act like it should have been me on the bed.
I will never be able to forget that.
“You’d better lose some weight and hope someone marries you for your looks, because your personality sucks.”
I was 14 and had just been fired from my very first job. He doesn’t even remember saying it; for me it was one of the worst days of my life and lives in the back of my head, for my father it was a Tuesday.
Words can hurt more than physical pain, and stay with you forever.
"Look, everyone has some kind of pain. Grandma, Dad and I all have arthritis and other things. Grandma's hip replacement wore out, Dad has sciatica, and I have bursitis. Stop complaining and learn to deal with it." - My mother, driving me home after I received my fibromyalgia diagnosis.
Karma got her later when one of her friends verbally smacked it into her head that fibromyalgia pain is severe and debilitating, that it could get worse over time, and that I may end up wheelchair-bound. She also talked about how badly the brain fog f***s a person up.
My mom was almost in tears as she apologized. She gave me a fibromyalgia awareness bracelet and started coming to my rheumatology appointments to ask questions for me whenever I had brain fog.
Literally as we were walking out of the hospital, after having to take our three week old daughter off life support. My mother chose that moment to remind me that she really thought we should have baptized our daughter because now she can't go to heaven. Yeah, I just got in the car and ignored her. If I would have reacted, she would have needed to go back into the hospital.
Because God needs a magic spell casting on a child before he will accept them into Heaven. Makes total sense, if God is a monster.
'If you come back to this house I'll beat you and k*ll you'. Haven't seen him for 3 and a half years after that & I don't intend to. Blood thicker than water my a**. I'll always cut off toxic family.
"Blood of the covenant is thicker than water of the womb." THAT is the phrase, meaning chosen relationships are more meaningful than genetic family.
My biological mother told me that I should be in the urn with my dead son. She was convinced that because I was sometimes a danger to myself (I’m epileptic), I obviously k*lled him somehow… despite him passing in his sleep from SIDS.
I don’t speak to her anymore.
"If you get AIDS we're going to let you die alone because we're not letting you bankrupt us." I was 18 and they found out I was gay from a letter I had thrown away. They also said one of the funniest things to me during that same time, "What if you want to be President?!".
Are presidents not allowed to be gay? And fuq the parents for the aids comment.
My parents are tied.
Dad: “So they diagnosed you with depression and anxiety? By definition those two things would cancel themselves out. You won’t be going back.” I was 13.
Mom: She told me over and over while growing up “You can ALWAYS come home! No matter what you can always come home!”
I was 22 and lost my job and could not find another with enough hours. We went out to lunch, I spilled my guts and how ashamed I was at failing. She looked me dead in the face and said “Tell me how that turns out.” I slept under a bridge for 3 months.
Depression and anxiety cancel each other out? What freaking definitions was he using?
In college, my dad told me over the phone, "It's not your mom's fault she doesn't love you as much as she loves your sister. She just doesn't understand you. You're too weird for her."
Thanks, dad. That didn't hurt at all.
There's a difference between "loving your kids" and "liking your kids" You can love them more than life itself, doesn't mean you have anything in common with them. Besides, look at it from the other side, as a child you love your parents....but you still have one that you prefer.
You were never [SAed]. You are making it up.
I proudly told my mom I got 98% on one of my high school exams. She replied “Where did you lose the 2%?”.
That I ruined everything she’s ever had.
Joke is on my mom because after my dad died, I went no contact and it’s been AMAZING.
My mother told me "You can't wear what the pretty girls wear because you're fat."
Lady, I’m already wearing what pretty girls wear because I’m pretty enough
When he threatened to kick me out of the house because I took a different route home than he would have when coming home from dinner.
It was so out of left field. I thought he was joking but he was raging and was literally about to kick me to the street. Led to this massive argument that came close to having the cops called.
I was 20 and it completely changed my view of him. I found a job across the country a few weeks later and left. Today he doesn't remember the incident at all and wonders why I never accept his help for anything and visit once every five years. Got what you wanted old man.
If it was completely out of left field, nothing similar had happened before, nothing similar since and he doesn't remember it, it very well could have been a psychotic break. It's much more common (particularly after a trauma) than people realize. Based *solely* on what's written here, I think reconciliation would be worth exploring.
My dad had been single since him and my mom divorced when I was 1 year old. I was 13 and was pretty sick trying to sleep in the back seat going to his house for the weekend. He just recently got a girlfriend at this point who had a daughter a few years younger than me. He forced me to go to his place that weekend even though I was pretty sick and he was frustrated I wasn’t interested in talking to him on the drive to his place.
So he pulls over, looks back at me and says “ya know, I can just take you back to your moms. I don’t *need* you to love me anymore. I have {girlfriend} and {girlfriend’s daughter} now.”
He did in fact take me back to my moms and I didn’t see him again for another 3-4 years after she dumped him cause she found someone richer.
My mom had a condition which made it hard to keep a pregnancy. She had 13 total pregnancies, only 4 survived. I was the only planned pregnancy that survived.
“You were the only one I wanted and look how you turned out”.
I told my dad I needed mental health help and he told me I just needed to pray more.
Yep, it is particularly effective when it comes to dealing with school shooting. Thoughts and prayer = problem solved.
Load More Replies...I had a son who had schizoaffective disorder. When I mentioned to a family member that I was searching for a therapist for him, this person told me not to bother - it was just all in his head. Ummm, right, it was.
Or being told "Oh boohoo, you're too saaaaad to do anything! Suck it up and be a man, not a little baby." ("Encouraging" words from my FIL to my husband, who has severe depression/anxiety/ptsd. And FIL seriously thinks he's helping.)
Depression is wierd.... It sucks out your energy and will to do anything, and if you haven't experienced that yourself, I don't think you can really relate, and hence you end up giving some bad advice... I think best you could do is to respond with: Imagine if someone told you that at a funeral for loved one, how would you react?
Load More Replies...This! I grew up with this for everything! Rip tendons and muscle in my feet? Don't need crutches and a brace, just pray more. Sick with the flu? Pray more. Experiencing clear signs of depression/anxiety/ADHD/PTSD? Nah, just pray more! Even when the school councilor was telling my mom that free help/treatment was available, she turned them down on my behalf. Religious parents are the worst sort of people
So.... not completely unrelated, but... When I was a resident in a, shall we say, 'facility centred around those with mental health concerns', one of the therapists actually recommended praying. He said that even if you're not religious, it's a great way to voice what's going on in your head and helping to identify what "self issues" you had. Not everyone feels comfortable talking to a therapist, and people still lie (to the therapist and themselves), whereas praying often makes us look at ourselves, our own failings, and bottlenecks . Acceptance is one of the most important steps, so it sometimes opens the door to discussing it with a therapist. It's no replacement for proper therapy, but it can help you identify why you need therapy. I tried it, I never "found God" again, but I did identify the things about myself that I wanted to change.
I "pray" to my deceased mother all the time, the same way a Christian would pray to god/Jesus. It works for me!
Load More Replies...I had to beat my dad over the head with "Did you pray away your skin cancer or busted knee? No, you went to the doctor and got help, because God gave doctors wisdom and knowledge to fix your ailments instead of leaving you to suffer. Just because you can't see my ailment doesn't make it less physical and in need of physical treatment."
The irony... go talk to sky daddy about your problems, imaginary friends are so much better for mental health than a doctor!
My Mum died on Mother’s Day 2020. My Dad declined quickly without her. He said to me:
“I just don’t have anything to live for anymore. Everything I did, I did for her.”
Me: “You still have friends, family, kids…you know I’m still here for you.”
Dad: “You were just for her too.”
He died soon after telling me he never wanted me.
I don't read the Ï didn't want you" in that. I do see a heavily grieved man though. And heavy grief can mess up with perspective a lot. Especially the child being in grief as well. The everything I did, I did for her part, might just as well go for the last years where it was just the two of them. Sometimes in grief one just can't see ( or want to see) the silver lining...
While my parents were going through a divorce (I was 9 years old), I overheard my mom saying to my father "I don't want (me), I'll take the younger one, he's less annoying".
When my mom found out I lost my virginity she said “God is punishing me for everything I’ve done wrong in my life with a daughter who makes the same mistakes”.
The whole virginity thing is backwards teaching and treats women as property.
I never wanted children after your sister. (I'm #2).
Well, you had two other options available to ya, but you chose the one that runs the risk of crotch goblins.
While my body was deteriorating from an undiagnosed medical condition my mother said, "Do you know how much it hurts ME to see you just lying there?" This was after a 2 day hospital stay, 2 biopsies, and several doctor's appointments. NOTE: I had lost about 100 pounds of muscle mass in 7 months by the time I was diagnosed, literally my whole body hurt. Getting up hurt, laying down hurt. Anything I did, hurt.
After my ex-wife remarried, my dad befriended her new husband. It’s especially weird because she abandoned the daughter we had together. My ex and her husband came to Holiday events that I wasn’t even invited to. I confronted my dad and he said that “Brent” was like the son he never had. Brent like NASCAR, country music, and religion. I llied none of those things.
It ended my relationship with him and my mom by extension. I have only spoken to my dad a handful of times since then. That was nearly 30 years ago. We never even spoke when my mom and sister died. I did make peace with my mom while she was on her deathbed. My dad has cancer (stage 3) and I can’t gather a single f**k/ won’t contact him/ won’t attend the funeral/ don’t want a cent from his estate. So yea, f**k that guy.
Fun fact: exwife cheated on Brent too and they were only together for a few years.
My mom all my childhood “I should have aborted you”…like yeah but you didn’t so now what?
Yeah, I heard stuff like this, too. It's almost as if it's a figure of speech for them. Gross.
Being anxious and depressed is a choice.
If you have ever had depression you know it's not a choice. No one would choose to feel like that.
My mother lost her first baby. It was a boy and he was stillborn. She told me she got pregnant with me bc she thought my dad would stop drinking if she gave him a son… I’m not a son. It basically made me feel like it was my job to keep my father happy no matter what. And he was never happy so I always felt like a failure.
"You are born sinful and need to ask for forgiveness and purify yourself, it is going to be very difficult and you will suffer a lot in life, but if you don't do it, you will go to hell after you die."
if you believe in what I typed above, it is morally wrong to make kids, because of the incredible burden you put on your child and very high risk that your child will just suffer in hell eternally.
My parents preached about how I needed to ask for forgiveness after I was séxually abùsed as a child.
Not to me. I overheard my mom tell my sis she wouldn't be a good mother because she wore pants to church. This was 19 years ago in 2005. My sister and her hubby have two dogs....
Women wearing pants to church? The horror! Women will be wanting the vote next!
My mother often said to me "I wished you had died and your sister had lived."
It still stings to this day.
All these parents wish their own children’s deaths! Like, wtf??? If you don’t want kids and can’t handle them, don’t have them!
I had splurged on a box of temporary hair dye when o was 15. Mom told me
If I spent as much time on my hair as I did on my weight, I wouldn't be so huge
For the record, I'm 5'7. At the time I weighed around 130 lbs.
When I was 16 my mom started to suspect that I was Bisexual after she read through my computer search history. After a pretty intense one-sided fist fight(she started it)she told me she couldn’t love or trust me after finding this out, and starting crying after asking me if I’d ever had “feelings” for my 13 year old sister(I hadn’t).
"I'm moving to (halfway across country) with your brother. There isn't anything for me here."
Except me, my sister, her 2 sons-in-law and all 5 of her grandchildren.
“This is just like when your mother had a miscarriage” when they found out I was gay.
Just wow. So their child really is dead to them now for being gay
In a therapy session when he’s explaining why I seem to piss him off more than everyone else: “I’m angry at you because your mother refused to get an abortion.”
Explained a lot, actually.
"Your mom didn't die just so you could throw your life away." From my dad.
Said while crying during what was pretty much an intervention.
My mom died giving birth to me and I've only seen my dad cry four times in my life.
Certainly hurt, though at the time it was something I probably needed to hear.
This one sounds warranted and from a father who's scared and deeply cares.
Parents who tell their children “You are just like [other parent]!” are awful people.
*You’re just like someone I hate*.
My mom has said that to me I have responded with well u pick him, u married him and u chose to procreate with him what did u expect??? And thanks mom I happen to think my dad had some wonderful qualities and that those are the ones I picked up. All the ways I was screwed up were actually just like u and I decided I didn't want to be like u and so I worked hard to turn that part of me around, what's ur excuse???
“I love you, but you’re still going to hell; once you turn 18, pack your s**t and leave.”
Translation: I don't love you but am too much of a self-righteous hypocrite to admit it.
“You have a simian face”, “It’s lucky you are smart bc you are not pretty”, “You were cursed with your father’s genes to give you that big fat a*s”.
What a lovely woman and a great mother! (just in case, it's /s)
Its not one thing. Everytime I shared a problem with her, she’ll remember it and then turn it against me. Sometimes even months or years later bring it up in a fight and make it as if I am the problem. Because of this, I have hard time being vulnerable with anyone and sharing anything (except reddit I guess)
EDIT: Wow I wasn’t expecting so many people to relate to this. It was difficult when I was younger. Then as an adult I went to therapy because I don’t want to live a life without any connection with people. It has helped a lot (much better than before) including my relationship with my mom. Now if she or any one does this: 1) I know not to take it to heart and ruminate on it and 2) Remind her that it hurts my feelings. I still do love my mother. But those childhood experiences did affect my adulthood a lot.
Our scars from childhood takes time to heal. I still keep my guard up more so than my friends for example but after getting to know more about someone, I decide if I want to share more.
I hope what I learnt through therapy helps everyone experiencing the same thing. I’m learning to take risks and get hurt in the process. I hope it works for you too 🤗.
I can so relate to that, too. Like, some moms can be jerks but then they treat you very well other times, and are there to support you. But with all that, just the cutting words now and then can overpower the positive. It takes a long time to practice to let it slide off your back and not let the words and tone phase you. Once you can start standing up for yourself you'll feel so much better and those bad moments won't marinate in your head.
"Toylil, there are two types of people in this world: those who are street smart and those who are book smart. You are neither".
My dad once told me that he loved me, but he really didn't like me. I was a teen with very low self esteem. Way to bolster my confidence dad.
"We only adopted you because I didn't want Melanie [older sister] to be an only child." - "Your biological mother is a druggie junkie alcoholic and you're going to end up JUST LIKE HER." - "You should be GRATEFUL I adopted you." - "You're gutter scum, just like your biological mother." And then all of the violence and beatings and getting knifed! Thanks, Mom!
My God. I'm sorry you had to deal with all that. You are worthy of love, but she was not worthy of you.
Load More Replies...There were plenty of abusive thinks I endured, several of those listed are familiar. But the one that didn't hurt me is the one that showed the narcs for what they were. "Well go to hell because of you!!!" (the cult telling them if children - atheist me - don't belong to the cult, the "parents" go to hell). It was ALWAYS about them, what they wanted. My concerns, needs, wants, ambitions didn't matter, I was there to serve THEM. And that's without mentioning the violence. [ .................. ] I cut them off permanently over 20 years ago, not a word to them until they croaked. I'll bet they called themselves "victims" because I chose silence and non-contact.
::hugs:: The empathy and sympathy that you, an "internet stranger" (so to speak) shows for these children/people is way more than most of them received from their actual parents. As an adopted child who went through some... stuff (see my comment on this article for a summary, lol) I can say... thank you. I appreciate it more than I can say with words. It sounds silly to type out, but for someone who took decades of hate and loathing from my mother (my dad was an awesome dad, but he was a weak person and didn't stop my mom... in fact, she verbally AND physically abused him as well) - it really actually means a lot to feel the very basic human empathy and sympathy from someone. Thank you. <3
Load More Replies...My sister told me that she was SA'd back in high school. When I relayed this info to our mother, she said, "Well, that was years ago. She should be over it by now." And that's why my mom is rotting in Hell.
"Don't come home." When I was 17 my mom and her husband lived 45 minutes out of town. I hated them and their psycho religious c**p. It was 22C below outside, on December 17. I went into town with them to go to school. They said that as I was getting out of the car. "Find somewhere else to stay because you're not welcome in our house any more." I was a sad kid with severe depression/anxiety/ADHD/PTSD and they made everything so, so much worse...
I did have a chance to move past it, about 12 years ago they were on hard times. He was a 5'3" dude who reeked of insecurity who was told by God that he would have a fitness equipment empire, in a town of 100k people where the market was already cornered. He had a CDL and could have gotten a high paying job as a truck driver at any time. My mom is virtually unemployable as she doesn't listen and constantly forces her religion on people. She'll just ignore instructions and do what God tells her. Anyway, they were virtually homeless living in an old camper trailer in the middle of winter. They were food insecure and often times cold. I gave them a gift certificate for $500 of groceries and $1000 in cash and told them it's more than they gave me when I was cold and afraid.
Load More Replies...Here's some good ones from my lovely mother: the electric bill would be lower if you'd keep your fat a*s out of the refrigerator. I wish I had aborted you. You're going to eat through your bariatric surgery and fail. Called my daughter, her granddaughter, an n-word lover. I honestly can't count the number of times she called me fat. She denies any of it happened, even after being told by several other family members.
Ooh ooh, I can play! Brought home a report card. Had a few A's, some B's, and three C's. Nothing lower, but three C's. My dad said, and I quote, "Get out of my sight. I don't even want to look at you. You make me sick."
This Be The Verse by Philip Larkin They f**k you up, your mum and dad. They may not mean to, but they do. They fill you with the faults they had And add some extra, just for you. But they were f****d up in their turn By fools in old-style hats and coats, Who half the time were soppy-stern And half at one another’s throats. Man hands on misery to man. It deepens like a coastal shelf. Get out as early as you can, And don’t have any kids yourself.
Curse BP for the removal of formatting and paragraphs.
Load More Replies...Hmm, let's see. Starting puberty, skinny as f**k: "You're getting a fat a*s." When I had my first boyfriend, had intimacy problems and thought that could be related to the sexual abuse from older brother: "You never told us about that" (I did when I was 12, but they brushed it off). A couple years later when his gf had broken up with him (one of the reasons was the history of abuse) they called me up and told me: "Tell that girl it's all a lie or we'll never help you again" (I was living in an unheated house at the time during winter with no kitchen) My mother to my grandmother: "You know, ENSJ is not a pleasant child, unlike her older brother." Multiple times throughout my childhood and youth: "You are so weird, I bet you were swapped at birth. You're not like any of us." On the other hand, also heard the bitter "You're just like your father." "You shouldn't make the same mistakes I did and not have children. Being childfree is best. I wouldn't have children if I could go back."
After the Nth time of showing up at my parents house or at work (I worked with them at the time), bruised and bloodied from my abusive husband. They never said anything. They never did anything. I'd had so many black eyes and busted lips I lost count. There were times I couldn't sit because of how sore I was. I'd finally had enough. My husband wasn't going to change, and my son was now 4 and trying to get between us because he was tired of daddy hurting mommy. I called home, and explained I needed to leave before he k1lled me. My dad's response? You made your bed - lie in it. You're not coming home. Mom didn't stand up to him. I had no where and stayed. My MIL stood good where my father turned his back, and we got out and stayed with her. I never forgave him, and I never will. That was almost 30 years ago. He died within a year of that time. I don't miss him. I never cried for him. I wasn't the only one that made their bed...
My mother told me God is punishing you that's why your baby dieď. I was 19. She was déad to me for years and when she did finally shuffle off I refused to go to her funeral. Told my sister (golden one) what she'd said. She didn't believe me. Shocked me as her son had died of a very rare neurological disorder and I thought she'd be more understanding. Stupid of me really as she never said she was sorry about the loss of my child. I immediately went nc. That was years ago now.
Being treated for nerves at 12 years old due to abuse by both my parents and my half sister my father said, "Nobody would care if you died tomorrow, it is not like you were someone that mattered like a football player or Olympic sportsperson."
I believe in man’s inhumanity to man and it’s because of my parents and how I suffered at their hands. How I was never innocent but exploited for their benefit. I’m 60 and still fighting to overcome what I endured.
mine punished me when i talked ugly at 12 yrs old, supported my brother that did it when 4. they told me to love them, then they favored the other one that didn't give a shite. they don't mean the good things they say, these are mere traps in order to select the most perverted one that breaks their advice then putting themselves behind it. they are a nursery, they raise xenomorphs to destroy the universe.
One of our dogs bit me when I was six. My parents were discussing whether to put the dog down. My father suggested putting me down instead.
Your to black to be my kid,! I bet they switched my real baby for you. Get out.. I was 11
"No man will ever love you" " You're so slow you'll die if there's a fire" "Don't cry, it'll upset your mother" "I always wanted more kids but all I got was you" "Write down what it is exactly you want from me" then proceeds to rip up the paper without even looking at it. He'd been making fun of me for something for days before that and I just wanted him to stop.
When I 11 I was crying to my mum about how me and my dad don't get on and how mean he is to me and how I wished he wasn't my dad. He overheard, kicked the door open and screamed at a crying 11 girl "Well I wish we hadn't adopted you!"
My mom told me multiple times that she didn't want to have children and dreamt of joining the army. My dad kicked me out of the house 6 months before graduation, telling me "get out of my perfect family, you are ruining it."
My mom used to say these two things to me: "Why do you deliberately make yourself so unattractive?" and "You can talk for hours and hours and hours about absolutely nothing." Add to that a constant barrage of you're fat, stupid and ugly from my brother--words can definitely hurt. Mom's dead and I've been NC with my brother for 25 years.
"you are not allowed to lock the door when you shower. your brother needs to be allowed in so he can make sure you arent touching yourself" and "if you die in childbirth, im taking custody from your boyfriend" (bio mom said this after i had lost a pregnancy which she did not know about and was pregnant with my rainbow baby)
Where to start... from Mom: "Never have children it will RUIN your life. WORST mistake" or... "We had your brother because you're such a disappointment. We're stuck with you." various comments about being fat... and that I should be thankful to ANY schlub who 'allows' me to be in a relationship with them, because I'm otherwise unworthy... And it just spread. Spouse just told me that someone on a sports team asked him once "Couldn't you find anything better than her?" and he says now "I'm wondering, he was right. I mean.. I defended you then, but maybe I was wrong" - it just continues.
My cousin had a rough couple of years. She was in a bad relationship, did d***s, got into debt and stole money from her relatives to pay it off. She also had suicidal thoughts. My grandmother told to me: "I don't understand how her life got so bad, I would expect it from you, not from her." I never did anything that would indicate that I'll get so bad, but I was apparently pre-destined for failure, because grandma liked my cousin better than me. BTw, my cousin do better now.
"We only adopted you because I didn't want Melanie [older sister] to be an only child." - "Your biological mother is a druggie junkie alcoholic and you're going to end up JUST LIKE HER." - "You should be GRATEFUL I adopted you." - "You're gutter scum, just like your biological mother." And then all of the violence and beatings and getting knifed! Thanks, Mom!
My God. I'm sorry you had to deal with all that. You are worthy of love, but she was not worthy of you.
Load More Replies...There were plenty of abusive thinks I endured, several of those listed are familiar. But the one that didn't hurt me is the one that showed the narcs for what they were. "Well go to hell because of you!!!" (the cult telling them if children - atheist me - don't belong to the cult, the "parents" go to hell). It was ALWAYS about them, what they wanted. My concerns, needs, wants, ambitions didn't matter, I was there to serve THEM. And that's without mentioning the violence. [ .................. ] I cut them off permanently over 20 years ago, not a word to them until they croaked. I'll bet they called themselves "victims" because I chose silence and non-contact.
::hugs:: The empathy and sympathy that you, an "internet stranger" (so to speak) shows for these children/people is way more than most of them received from their actual parents. As an adopted child who went through some... stuff (see my comment on this article for a summary, lol) I can say... thank you. I appreciate it more than I can say with words. It sounds silly to type out, but for someone who took decades of hate and loathing from my mother (my dad was an awesome dad, but he was a weak person and didn't stop my mom... in fact, she verbally AND physically abused him as well) - it really actually means a lot to feel the very basic human empathy and sympathy from someone. Thank you. <3
Load More Replies...My sister told me that she was SA'd back in high school. When I relayed this info to our mother, she said, "Well, that was years ago. She should be over it by now." And that's why my mom is rotting in Hell.
"Don't come home." When I was 17 my mom and her husband lived 45 minutes out of town. I hated them and their psycho religious c**p. It was 22C below outside, on December 17. I went into town with them to go to school. They said that as I was getting out of the car. "Find somewhere else to stay because you're not welcome in our house any more." I was a sad kid with severe depression/anxiety/ADHD/PTSD and they made everything so, so much worse...
I did have a chance to move past it, about 12 years ago they were on hard times. He was a 5'3" dude who reeked of insecurity who was told by God that he would have a fitness equipment empire, in a town of 100k people where the market was already cornered. He had a CDL and could have gotten a high paying job as a truck driver at any time. My mom is virtually unemployable as she doesn't listen and constantly forces her religion on people. She'll just ignore instructions and do what God tells her. Anyway, they were virtually homeless living in an old camper trailer in the middle of winter. They were food insecure and often times cold. I gave them a gift certificate for $500 of groceries and $1000 in cash and told them it's more than they gave me when I was cold and afraid.
Load More Replies...Here's some good ones from my lovely mother: the electric bill would be lower if you'd keep your fat a*s out of the refrigerator. I wish I had aborted you. You're going to eat through your bariatric surgery and fail. Called my daughter, her granddaughter, an n-word lover. I honestly can't count the number of times she called me fat. She denies any of it happened, even after being told by several other family members.
Ooh ooh, I can play! Brought home a report card. Had a few A's, some B's, and three C's. Nothing lower, but three C's. My dad said, and I quote, "Get out of my sight. I don't even want to look at you. You make me sick."
This Be The Verse by Philip Larkin They f**k you up, your mum and dad. They may not mean to, but they do. They fill you with the faults they had And add some extra, just for you. But they were f****d up in their turn By fools in old-style hats and coats, Who half the time were soppy-stern And half at one another’s throats. Man hands on misery to man. It deepens like a coastal shelf. Get out as early as you can, And don’t have any kids yourself.
Curse BP for the removal of formatting and paragraphs.
Load More Replies...Hmm, let's see. Starting puberty, skinny as f**k: "You're getting a fat a*s." When I had my first boyfriend, had intimacy problems and thought that could be related to the sexual abuse from older brother: "You never told us about that" (I did when I was 12, but they brushed it off). A couple years later when his gf had broken up with him (one of the reasons was the history of abuse) they called me up and told me: "Tell that girl it's all a lie or we'll never help you again" (I was living in an unheated house at the time during winter with no kitchen) My mother to my grandmother: "You know, ENSJ is not a pleasant child, unlike her older brother." Multiple times throughout my childhood and youth: "You are so weird, I bet you were swapped at birth. You're not like any of us." On the other hand, also heard the bitter "You're just like your father." "You shouldn't make the same mistakes I did and not have children. Being childfree is best. I wouldn't have children if I could go back."
After the Nth time of showing up at my parents house or at work (I worked with them at the time), bruised and bloodied from my abusive husband. They never said anything. They never did anything. I'd had so many black eyes and busted lips I lost count. There were times I couldn't sit because of how sore I was. I'd finally had enough. My husband wasn't going to change, and my son was now 4 and trying to get between us because he was tired of daddy hurting mommy. I called home, and explained I needed to leave before he k1lled me. My dad's response? You made your bed - lie in it. You're not coming home. Mom didn't stand up to him. I had no where and stayed. My MIL stood good where my father turned his back, and we got out and stayed with her. I never forgave him, and I never will. That was almost 30 years ago. He died within a year of that time. I don't miss him. I never cried for him. I wasn't the only one that made their bed...
My mother told me God is punishing you that's why your baby dieď. I was 19. She was déad to me for years and when she did finally shuffle off I refused to go to her funeral. Told my sister (golden one) what she'd said. She didn't believe me. Shocked me as her son had died of a very rare neurological disorder and I thought she'd be more understanding. Stupid of me really as she never said she was sorry about the loss of my child. I immediately went nc. That was years ago now.
Being treated for nerves at 12 years old due to abuse by both my parents and my half sister my father said, "Nobody would care if you died tomorrow, it is not like you were someone that mattered like a football player or Olympic sportsperson."
I believe in man’s inhumanity to man and it’s because of my parents and how I suffered at their hands. How I was never innocent but exploited for their benefit. I’m 60 and still fighting to overcome what I endured.
mine punished me when i talked ugly at 12 yrs old, supported my brother that did it when 4. they told me to love them, then they favored the other one that didn't give a shite. they don't mean the good things they say, these are mere traps in order to select the most perverted one that breaks their advice then putting themselves behind it. they are a nursery, they raise xenomorphs to destroy the universe.
One of our dogs bit me when I was six. My parents were discussing whether to put the dog down. My father suggested putting me down instead.
Your to black to be my kid,! I bet they switched my real baby for you. Get out.. I was 11
"No man will ever love you" " You're so slow you'll die if there's a fire" "Don't cry, it'll upset your mother" "I always wanted more kids but all I got was you" "Write down what it is exactly you want from me" then proceeds to rip up the paper without even looking at it. He'd been making fun of me for something for days before that and I just wanted him to stop.
When I 11 I was crying to my mum about how me and my dad don't get on and how mean he is to me and how I wished he wasn't my dad. He overheard, kicked the door open and screamed at a crying 11 girl "Well I wish we hadn't adopted you!"
My mom told me multiple times that she didn't want to have children and dreamt of joining the army. My dad kicked me out of the house 6 months before graduation, telling me "get out of my perfect family, you are ruining it."
My mom used to say these two things to me: "Why do you deliberately make yourself so unattractive?" and "You can talk for hours and hours and hours about absolutely nothing." Add to that a constant barrage of you're fat, stupid and ugly from my brother--words can definitely hurt. Mom's dead and I've been NC with my brother for 25 years.
"you are not allowed to lock the door when you shower. your brother needs to be allowed in so he can make sure you arent touching yourself" and "if you die in childbirth, im taking custody from your boyfriend" (bio mom said this after i had lost a pregnancy which she did not know about and was pregnant with my rainbow baby)
Where to start... from Mom: "Never have children it will RUIN your life. WORST mistake" or... "We had your brother because you're such a disappointment. We're stuck with you." various comments about being fat... and that I should be thankful to ANY schlub who 'allows' me to be in a relationship with them, because I'm otherwise unworthy... And it just spread. Spouse just told me that someone on a sports team asked him once "Couldn't you find anything better than her?" and he says now "I'm wondering, he was right. I mean.. I defended you then, but maybe I was wrong" - it just continues.
My cousin had a rough couple of years. She was in a bad relationship, did d***s, got into debt and stole money from her relatives to pay it off. She also had suicidal thoughts. My grandmother told to me: "I don't understand how her life got so bad, I would expect it from you, not from her." I never did anything that would indicate that I'll get so bad, but I was apparently pre-destined for failure, because grandma liked my cousin better than me. BTw, my cousin do better now.