My roommate (lets call her NR for New roommate) moved in with the three of us because the former roommate couldn't keep up on rent. I got along well with all my roommates, and their animals before this one.

First, NR moves in and her boxes filled the living room ceiling to floor. They stayed there for over 2 weeks. I worked crazy hours and wasn't home when she was, so I wrote a few short note simply asking that she move her boxes so I could have company over that weekend.

Well NR didnt like that. She stormed into the kitchen to yell at me with one other roomate and as she walks out, kicks my 3 month old SLEEPING PUPPY into the closest wall. I dont remember much after that, except I was so enraged my other roommate had to pull me into my room to calm down.

We did take puppy to the vet. He had bleeding inside his mouth, lost a tooth and was badly bruised. He is healed, but he now has a fear of females. He used to be the sweetest dog. D F*ck NR

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Xenon

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Kick her into orbit for the puppy!

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Hope I'm not too late. I had a roommate who was extremely conservative and really religious. She was also VERY frugal. She insisted on doing the dishes every night, but would only use 1 drop of soap for the entire load. It got to the point where it became habit to pull "clean" dishes out of the cabinet and quickly wash it before we could use it.

I also had pet frogs that summer. Frogs that like temperature control. Well this frugal roommate went on a rampage during the hottest week of the summer and tried to ban us from using the air conditioning to save money. We would all fight back and turn it on when she wasn't home. After a few weeks of this, one of our other roommates did some research. Turns out, the breed of frog I had likes to get frisky when their environment gets too warm. So we all agreed to let her control the a/c for awhile. We also moved the frogs to a more prominent location.

About 2 days in, little miss conservative walked in to see the nicely displayed frogs humping each other to no end. She screamed, demanded to know why we were letting this happen. We told her about the research and that if she wanted it to stop, then let us have air conditioning. We spent the rest of the summer in air conditioned bliss. The weird thing is that she was pretty well off, so we don't know why she was so cheap.

Tl;dr humping frogs brought air conditioning back.

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Cactus McCoy

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"humping frogs brought air conditioning back." is perfect.

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She was a bit of a nightmare to begin with, the kind of person who would come home at 3AM on a weeknight bringing half the pub in tow. She was perpetually late on bills, and useless at keeping the kitchen clean.

She also had a bad habit when she went to take a shower. She was one of those people who would just drop/step out of her clothes, leaving them in a fabric puddle on the floor in the bathroom, and not collect them for days. Unfortunately she very frequently left very visible skidmarks in her underwear, spread out and sunny side up on the floor for the world to see.

One day I got home from work and went for a shower, and encountered her usual filth pile, but today something seemed wrong. Something seemed familiar. I coiled in horror when I realised that it was MY underpants in that particular offering. The fabric was quite unique, and they were now beyond ruined, caked with sh*t and blood. I confronted her, turned out she was not good at remembering to do her laundry so would regularly steal my clean knickers out of the drier then eventually sneak them back into my laundry basket. Yes I went to get a sexual health screen after that.

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Sheila Stamey

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Ew.

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Several of us were hanging out, he ran into the room, took a picture of my girlfriend, without explanation then ran back into his room and slammed the door and did not emerge the rest of the night.

I googled him about a year ago: he is now a registered sex offender.

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Sareaesque

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I don't think you want the explanation for that photo...

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My first roommate at college was a girl who had some severe issues... she was bulimic and would cut herself. She never talked to me and I only deduced these things by finding the bloody tissues under her bed (and having just lived with my brother who was suicidal and self harmed a lot) and also following the trail of vomit smell to the closet where she apparently kept it. F**k if I know why since we had a suite and our own attached bathroom. She would also bring up containers of food to leave out to make it look like she was eating. When I talked to the RA about this and they forced her to speak with a therapist, she threatened to smother me in my sleep and I was told it was in my best interest to move out.

My first year at college was not fun :(

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Erika

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I hope that your roommate is better mentally now...

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Got a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue for my birthday from a friend. I went out of town. Roommate proceeds to drink half the bottle and then fill it up with water like I wouldn't notice. And then had the audacity to lie about it and continues to til this day. I do believe he doesn't remember though. He got laid off after getting a dui. Proceeded to drink himself stupid for eight months and was eventually taking our rent money to pay his car bill. Didn't realize til we had an eviction notice. Forced him to get his parents to pay for our three months of rent he didn't pay but I still have an eviction on my record. I have a copy of the notice that says I was not evicted so wherever I go I have to show that to future landlords or when I buy a house so we don't get denied.

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I had a clean freak roommate who was crazy. She'd literally FREAK OUT and scream and clean up after you *while* you were cooking. I'd cut vegetables and be putting the first part into a pan, and she'd walk over furious that I'd left the cutting board out and messy for her to clean up....I'm *literally* still using it! I'll clean up when I'm done using the cutting board! She however only ate two things, chicken nuggets and popcorn....WHICH SHE NEVER CLEANED UP AFTER.

She cooked the chicken nuggets on the same baking sheet every day. And when it was so caked in nugget residue it would burn in the oven, she'd put a layer of tin foil over it and cook on that. And then when that layer was gross, instead of removing the tin foil layer, she'd add more tin foil over the top! When she moved out, she left the pan in the drawer under the stove covered in 6 layers of greasy burnt crumbed chicken nuggets. She couldn't stand me not cleaning a cutting board of vegetables half way thought cooking them, but apparently a baking sheet covered in 3 months of chicken grease and crumbs can go back in the drawer?

She also made herself popcorn every night, and then left the uncleaned pot on the stove all the time. That pot was never cleaned.

She did this before she'd go to bed....at 7pm. She's had the same bedtime since she was a child. She never went to bed after 8 pm. If you made it past 9 without waking her up though, she was a sound sleeper and the noise level wouldn't wake her.

She would invite her nieces over with no warning. So I was working retail at the time and had just worked an inventory until 4am. I got home and at 6am she and her neices aged 6 and 9 started playing games that involved shrieking. We'd never have any idea children were even in the apartment until the morning activities and she would get furious at us for implying we'd like them to keep it down until 8 or 9 because "this is just as much her place as ours and she can do whatever she wants!" However, if we had anyone stay for more than 2 hours she'd ask us to pay a higher share of the rent because they now counted as an additional resident of the apartment and we needed to be responsible for the burden.

She'd watch TV in her room with the door open, and get mad if you made too much noise in the living room on the other end of the house while she was watching. But she would never change the volume, or close the door. If she couldn't hear, she'd lecture you about roommate respect and watching the volume instead of shutting the door and turning the volume up a small smidgen.

Remember when I said she was a total neat freak and would walk around the kitchen cleaning up after you while you were still using items to cook? She made a big deal about how the cleanliness of the kitchen was of the utmost importance. I got off work 2 hours early one day and walked in and what did I find her doing? Cutting someone's hair....IN THE KITCHEN! There was hair all over the stove, counter and floor. Vegetables are a kitchen abomination, but she cuts people's hair in there twice a week and doesn't think it's a big deal at all.

Finally she was moving out. She let us know about a month ahead of time that she'd be leaving, and slowly started moving her stuff. This was her last, and greatest F**K YOU: She charged us for the last month's internet service....and the first thing she moved out was the router, which was hers. She refused to reimburse us the month's internet, and hadn't let us know ahead of time she'd be taking it for us to go get a new router.

Then when she was upset we asked for our money back, she exacted revenge. The table and chairs we ate at were hers, because she insisted they be the common furniture because it was the only stuff she trusted. We couldn't fit our table and chairs in until she moved them out and she knew it. So she left the table, our only place to eat, and she left the chairs, the only place to sit and eat.....and she took the mother f*****g cushions off the chairs. She had her brothers unscrew the cushions on all the chairs and take them, but leave the unusable chairs and table for 29 more days out of spite. We tried to move her chairs to put our usable chairs down, and she hid all of ours into a closet in her room and set the chairs with no seat back at the table.


I still hate her guts.

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Treena Kay

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I guess I don't understand how all these things were allowed to continue (not just above post but most of them). Second, third time I'd be straight up in her face and about her behavior. Left unusable chairs/table? Haul them to Goodwill or put them out on the curb. Maybe it's because I'm older but guys, do not allow this kind of treatment from anyone in your life. Not worth it.

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A friend of mine needed a roommate in a house where he already held a lease. I moved in and paid him rent instead of adding my name to the lease. I lived there for about three months and it was great. He was always cleaning, literally always. It seemed pretty great until I came home from work one day. There was a pink note stuck to the front door that said we were being evicted because we hadn't paid rent in three months. Turns out that cleaning was what he liked to do while high on meth. It all worked out though. I talked with the landlady and she kicked him out and I took over the lease.

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Circa 2001. It was my first apartment and I wasn't a good judge of roommate character back then. I was working at a welding shop and had befriended this big Mexican guy after driving him home from work enough to start hanging out at his house after work for a few beers and his mom's excellent biscuits and gravy she'd make for us.

Naturally, we thought it would be a good idea to roommate at my place to cut down on expense. Little did I know, he was one of those drinkers that black out and destroy everything. Each day after work was him with a case of beer and getting in arguments with kids in Yahoo chat rooms over a mic until he would pass out.

It escalated. He quit going to work and I'd come home with him passed out, vomit all over the floors, p**s in the corners, half-eaten pizza face down on the couch, the works. I started telling him he needed to leave but he wasn't hearing it. Eventually he got arrested for something and ended up in jail. I was free. For a while. He got out and I woke to banging on my door. I didn't let him in. (His mom collected all his things when he got locked up)

Fast forward to recently, I'd been overseas for 6 years and moved back to my home state afterward, and recently stumbled across his Facebook page after not having seen or heard from him in 13 years. We talked. He's doing really well now, training to be an addiction counselor, and I'm happy for him.

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Cody

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2 years ago

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Glad this one had a positive ending.

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He charged me $500 bucks to rent tiny room in his apartment. He said to feel free to use the rest of apartment, but there were all these rules so I just stayed in room for most part. Found out a few years later that he was only paying $500 a month for apartment. So...yeah...

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One of my friends had a housemate with a rather interesting routine... and he had (as far as I know) absolutely no idea that anyone else was aware of it.

His first step - at least from what I could hear - would be to close his door and address some imaginary woman who had apparently sneaked inside when he wasn't looking.

"Well, what are you doing here?" he'd say, his voice audible through the wall. "Uh huh. Oh, really? Well, I guess I'd better take my pants off, then."

A few seconds would pass, after which he would speak again. "So, how about you get naked, too? I'll just lay here and wait for you to be ready. Oh, you're ready now? Well, go ahead and climb on top of me, then."

It would be several minutes before anything else would become audible... but then the next part of his routine would begin. Anyone within earshot would hear the guy's bedroom door open and then slam, after which he'd sprint down the hallway to the bathroom and slam that door. He'd be in there for a few minutes, the toilet would flush, and then we'd all be treated to a second performance of him slamming the door, running down the hall, and locking himself in his bedroom.

So, in short order, his routine went like this:

Click
"Oh, look, a sneaky woman!"
"Now we're both naked!"
Silence...
SLAM
Rapid footsteps
SLAM
Silence...
Toilet flushing.
SLAM
More rapid footsteps
SLAM

From what I've heard, he'd do this every night. At one point, someone suggested that he might have been talking to a webcam model or something, so they "accidentally" reset the router after hearing the guy's door close... but he went right through the same routine, talking to someone who wasn't there before beating a hasty retreat to the bathroom.

TL;DR: Imaginary intimacy, dumb dialogue, slamming and sprinting.

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Zedrapazia

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Sounds like some mental problem

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My roommate once asked for the place to herself for a romantic evening with a chef she was dating. He made her a huge seafood dinner. When I came home the next day, there was a huge pile of dishes in the sink. Her reasoning: it was my turn to do dishes. We fought about it for days, as the lobster pot and all accompanying dishes stunk up the joint. In the end, I did them because I no longer could tolerate the smell. She moved out shortly, thereafter.

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Christine Jemison

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2 years ago

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NOT IN MY LIFE TIME😳😳😳😳😳

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It is hard to put into words how much I hate my sophomore year roommate. The school I went to had 300 students, not a large school in anyway, and somehow he lost his backpack. So he decides to borrow my expensive hiking backpack and use that as his backpack until he can find his. But he doesn't tell me, and he doesn't care about my backpack. Hiking backpacks have straps around the hips so the weight will rest on the wearers hips instead of their shoulders. At the time I was really into mountain unicycling, which means balance is important, and if I ever wanted to bring anything with me I needed that backpack. Anyways I find the backpack a month later filled to the brim with "red hots" and "jelly beans". They are not in bags they are just emptied into the backpack. The backpack was in a random hallway, like he just forgot about it. Also he had found his backpack three weeks ago, and I had assumed it was back under my bed. And finally all of the supportive straps that made it a hiking backpack had been torn off, effectively making it useless to me. I asked him what happened to my backpack and he just looked at me, looked at the backpack filed with red hots and just said "somebody else must have done that because I put it under your bed" and just went back to his nap.
TLDR; roommate ruined $150 backpack.

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Definitely the one who let his underage girlfriend have a home abortion in the bathroom upstairs.

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Laroo

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Please tell me you called the cops.

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Hoarder. Even her piss and sh*t, stored in milk jugs.

The horror.

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SeaLouse_Comics

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College material?

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Was living with one of my friends in college over the summer when he had a severe mental break (later diagnosed with type I bipolar). I come home after being away for a few days and find out some switch has flipped and he's completely lost it; he hasn't slept for days, he's convinced everyone is conspiring against him, hallucinating and talking to himself to the point where he has no idea what's real anymore. Eventually I convinced him to let me take him to the ER, they ran a tox screen and found nothing so they released him. Luckily his mom lived across town, so I call her and she takes him to stay with her. His mom isn't properly caring for him or getting him the help he needs though, and a few days later I wake up at about 2 am to a loud banging at my door. Turns out my roommate had left his mom's in the middle of the night, walked about 3 miles back to our place without his shoes, and was trying to slam one of the patio chairs through the door. For some context, he is over 6" and I am about 5'2" female, so when I open the door to see him with a metal chair over his head and he starts saying things like "I've finally figured everything out, I know what to do now" with a crazed look in his eyes, I'm officially pretty terrified. I didn't sleep at that house alone after that night.

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Definitely this girl who would flip out for the smallest little things.

Her ex boyfriend (who was a total arsehole) got a good, high paying job and she raged about it for an HOUR AND A HALF. Eventually I said something along the lines of 'life isn't fair sometimes deal with it' and she grabbed the book I was reading and threw it in my face.

We were carving pumpkins for Halloween and hers went wrong. She threw it on the floor and started stamping on it and screaming.

She would never wash anyone elses dishes (when everyone else in the house was happy to club in and make it a team effort as we almost always Cooked and ate together ). She'd barge the person washing out of the way, wash and dry her stuff and then storm upstairs. This happened every day.

She would repeatedly scream the house down and cry if she didn't get her hair right.

She once accused me of 'disrespecting the people of Nepal'. We were watching BBC breakfast (any Brits here will know that the 'news' on that show is pretty banal and uninteresting). I said something along those lines just as a piece about the Nepal earthquake was starting. She shouted at me for a solid 3 minutes and followed that up with a group text to my other housemates saying that I was a 'c**t' and not to be trusted.

I'd cooked a meal for the house, as I was taking my first bite (a rather large bite but it had been slow cooking for hours and I was STARVING) she started shouting at me for eating like a pig and ran upstairs crying when I called her out on how that was total b******t.

I have a million stories like this. Stuff like this happened every damn day.

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Cactus McCoy

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2 years ago

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Some people just need a punch to the face to realign them with reality.

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She had a room with her own bathroom and would constantly clog her toilet by using napkins as toilet paper since she didn't want to buy toilet paper. After she clogged it she would resort to using everyone else's bathroom in the hallway with no intention of fixing her own.

One day she clogged OUR toilet as well. So while she was out, me and my other roomies went into her room to see what was up with her bathroom and there was month old sh*t still in the toilet, along with piles of clothes all over the floor. She also had 2 dogs that she neglected and she always tried to take our community recycling and keep the money for herself.

She was the f*cking worst, so we turned her last name into a thing you don't want to be.

Don't be a Koob.

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I was away on holiday. When I got home I walked in and the carpet was soaked. My roommates were just sitting there watching TV. Turns out the hot water heater exploded and ruined the carpet and flooded my room which was right next to the heater.

Turns out it exploded 3 days prior to me returning and they just ignored it.

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I lived with a roommate who was a complete and total narcissist. It was a $1500/mo apartment (three bedroom in a nice part of town) that should have been $500 a person, but he was a lazy s**t and maybe contributed ~$150 of that. His dumb twat girlfriend wasn't much better, contributing about the same amount per month but she was at least more pleasant to talk to.

I lived with them for about six months and paid the $1200 I was paying to cover the rent because I didn't want my credit to take the hit that would result from an eviction.

The whole time they were going out to eat and wining and dining each other; meanwhile I never could do anything because I was burning up all my cash just trying to cover the rent.

Of course I would talk to the dude to say "man, this can't continue, it's stressing me the f**k out, I can't afford to buy food most of the time" but since he was a piece of s**t narcissist, he would turn the argument around to somehow make it about how ungrateful a person I was.

The end finally came when I spoke with the leasing office people and explained that while I loved the apartment, I was the only one who was really giving the property managers any real money and the situation was untenable. I also said I would love to continue doing business with them (possibly with a smaller apartment), but I was locked into my lease and couldn't afford to pay an early termination fee because these assh*les I lived with were sucking me dry.

They looked up the paperwork and said "well it looks like only [piece of s**t] filled out lease paperwork so you have no legal obligation to pay the rent."

"Is that so?" I responded. I thought for a few moments and then said to the agent "you should probably get eviction paperwork ready for next month. I have no intention of continuing to fund their lavish lifestyle. What other units do you have?"

I went back to the apartment and began packing. One day they came home to see that my bedroom was empty and my car was gone. They started packing like crazy for three days, having to throw a lot of it away because they were going to get locked out before they could get it all. On the second day, the power was turned off, because it was in my name at the old apartment and now that I had my own place I wasn't about to pay for the power in two different places. So they had to frantically pack, in the sweltering July heat in total darkness. F**k those people.

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Beautifullybroken

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Had something similar happen, hubby and I got a 4 bedroom apartment with another couple he had been friends with for his whole life, she was preg I was preg they also had a toddler and we both had a dog ours a med sized there's was a purse dog. They paid their 1/2 of rent twice... otherwise I covered entire 850 myself while my hubby bought all the house hold supplies, 1 day months later toddler is dumping water on bathroom floor I got up to make bottle for my 1month old almost slipped told toddler not to do what she is doing someone could get hurt mother comes out calls me a c**t and threw a bucket at me almost hit the baby with it. I called MIL went to her house called hubby he had our stuff packed in an hour called landlord said I would pay him our 1/2 til lease was up in 2 months he said just pay rest of month and wished us well evicted them and then got stuck cleaning the apartment... we went down and helped him.. there is so much more but this is the worst of it

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He was the "I drive better when I'm drunk" type. He had bottles of chew spit all around the apartment. Never cleaned. Some how when he showered something on him prompted mold or something to grow in the shower. I had to remove it multiple times. Then I found out he hadn't payed rent for 4 months. I've got more...

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Cody

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More from Reddit: "He had sex on my bed. So I bought a new mattress, I had to do that over eating. He tried to have sex with any girl I brought over. He even tried to join in once. Just freaking walked into the room and started stripping. He tried to fight everyone when he was drunk. I had the cops over at MY apartment more times than I can remember because of him being loud, fighting, or drug related s**t."

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The worst story i have is just really creepy. She was a great roommate but i couldn't sleep right for a month after.

So it's literally the first night we are sleeping in the same room, so things are already a little awkward since we only know each other's names. But night falls and we go to sleep. I wake up to the sound of her yelling "NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOO" and then she flings all of her blankets off of her bed and onto the floor. At this point I'm freaked out so i ask if she's okay and she doesn't reply. Instead she sits up and looks around, sees the window and kind of whispers "not the window..." then she stands up and walks to the window. At this point i realize she must be sleep walking, or crazy. She gets to the window grabs the lock with both hands and is locking and unlocking the window over and over again while whispering to herself. She never opened it, but after about 3 minutes of that she let's go and says "that'll do". And then starts walking back to her bed, but when she was passing by my bed she stopped and turned to face me. Then she just stood there sleep (i hope) staring at me for a good 2 minutes. Then she started whispering to herself again walked passed her bed to the door, dragged her hand down the middle of it, turned around and walked to her bed and went back to sleep.

I was terrified, but i never told her about it. She never did it again.

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Wonderful

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Sorry. I used to sleepwalk like this when I was a pre teen. One night I set off the house alarm cause I was opening and closing the front door over and over. Scared the c**p out of my dad. He said I kept saying “danger” over and over all monotone. So he guided me back to bed like I was a weird robot.

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He sh*t. In the mother. F*cking. Kettle.

F*ck you, John.

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Laroo

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I bet they didn’t notice until they poured the poop tea. 🤢

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I was living with my now ex-boyfriend, and he let a friend from work move in. She was a 20-something college girl - a bit thin and overly tan and made up, but nothing out of the ordinary. We quickly noticed that she loved to order delivery/take-out, and tons of it - pizza, chinese, Mexican, you name it. But she'd never eat in the kitchen/living room - she'd only eat in her room, usually with her TV or music turned up. Being in our young 20s, we joked rather callously that she was probably bulimic/binge eating but didn't seriously believe it, until our food suddenly started to go missing. It came to the point where my ex was hiding a bunch of food in our bedroom to keep her from taking it.

One day she wasn't home, and we wanted to order a pizza or something. My ex went into her bedroom to grab the phone book (this was mid 2000s; it was a thing, okay?). When he opened the door...oh god, the SMELL. He called me in and we were both gagging. We decided to snoop and figure out what the smell was, and when we opened her closet there were dozens and dozens of plastic containers of her vomit.

He ended up confronting her about it and she just flat out denied it - we were making it up, we didn't see anything in her closet, and how dare we go into her room. He (and myself, to be fair) didn't handle it in the best way and he was rather cold and defensive about it and unloaded on her about stealing food and how disgusting the smell was and how could she live like this, etc etc.

She moved out immediately, needless to say. Not sure what she did with all the puke containers, but thankfully they were out of the apartment, and to her credit she cleaned the crap out of the room.

My ex ended up writing a letter to her parents telling them that their daughter had a serious problem/disorder, but to my knowledge never heard back. I hope she got help and is doing okay.

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This guy would do meal prep. Cook a weeks worth of dinners on Sunday night and keep them in Tupperware containers.

Here's the problem. He would start cooking late, get tired, fall asleep, burn his food and set off the smoke alarm.

Every. Single. Week.

Not a Sunday night went by that I wasn't woken up by the piercing screech of the smoke alarm at 2AM.

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I had a roommate who absolutely refused to buy toilet paper. After weeks of her stealing ours, the other 3 of us started hiding it so she would be forced to buy her own. Instead, she started taking heaps of napkins from restaurants and stealing rolls of our paper towels. One night we all went out to dinner, came home, and the entire basement was flooded because she backed up the toilet with god only knows how much s**t that shouldn't ever be flushed. That and she would keep piles of old food laying around her room...never did laundry...most disgusting human being I've ever met.

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We were both slobs, so that wasn't a problem at all.

I did have a problem with him using my computer for cybersex and other garbage nearly all the time (It was 2004/2005). He also used some of my toiletries (deodorant, shampoo, body wash) which is just wrong.

We had a falling out over something completely stupid and when he moved his stuff, he took the couch (We didn't buy it, someone else was moving out two doors down and gave it to us). I came home one day after work, saw the couch was gone, and said, "Huh, he took the couch. that sucks."

From there on out, I never had another roommate again.

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My current roomate does the sh**tiest thing ever.

He will use the microwave for popcorn, take it out early, and leave the remaining time on the timer uncleared. F*****g monster.

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Eli K

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2 years ago

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No… this man is too dangerous to be left alive

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I was renting a room from a friend of a friend. She had just bought the house & was doing some updates on it, so she needed to get into my room to measure a wall while I was at class.

Unbeknownst to me, I had accidentally locked the door behind me (it had one of the push locks in the handle, but you could still open the door from the inside) when I left. When I got home, I had a passive-aggressive note on my door asking me to please not lock my door because it was a fire hazard. I wanted to acknowledge that I got her request, so I went to talk to her. The conversation went something like this:

**Me:** Hey, I'm sorry the door was locked. I didn't realize I did it, but I think I figured out what happened.

**Her:** Okay, because the door was locked & that's a fire hazard, so don't do it again.

**Me:** I'll try not to, but I didn't mean to lock it in the first place.

**Her:** Whatever. Just don't do it again.

**Me:** You mean the next time I accidentally lock my door without realizing it, don't do that?

**Her, exasperated:** Uh, yeah.

Unfortunately, that kind of logic was pretty much the rule for the time I lived there. Another example is that she got a dog (despite her mom, the owner of the house, telling her not to), refused to train the dog, and when the dog ate one of my DVDs, her response was, "Well, you shouldn't have left the DVD on the coffee table."

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The roommate who eats your food, uses your things without needing to ask you, but if you take one of his potato chips, he feels a disturbance in the Force and must confront you about it.

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Doggo

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2 years ago

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“Feels a disturbance in the force” lol

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I lived with a guy who charged me and another guy an extra fifty dollars a month saying the rent had gone up, only to find out he was pocketing it all along

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I don't know why this gets to me as such, but the dude actually shaved his thick facial hair dry, and left all of the stuff all over the bathroom counter. For weeks at a time. I would mention this fact to him, and he would constantly say sorry, but do nothing about it. This resulted in me cleaning his mess when it got too extreme. F*ck you, Kyle

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Laroo

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2 years ago

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He just wanted you to clean up after him and you did. Never clean up after a roommate as they expect you to do it all the time.

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So I was in prison.

Well it was a maximum security but most of us were in pretrial detention. 23 hour lockdown.

One of the problems in my opinion was that they didn't separate the inmates based on what they were charged with. You had 20 year old kids who were caught with a couple grams of coke, you had pickpockets, you had drug dealers and killers all together.

Anyway. I made a good friend and we were cell mates. It was as good as it gets, considering the situation. We were reading a lot, talking all kinds of stuff from history to politics to differences between our countries and cultures, personal details, eating together, etc.

Then they put in a new guy with us.

Sketchy looking motherf*cker from the same place as me. He got out after 18 years for murder then 2 months went by and got arrested for stealing. Anyway in my life I met a lot of people who did bad things. But most of them had an excuse/reason I could find plausible.

But this crazy eyed bastard was the type that could either fly into a blackout rage or smile and laugh with you then slit your throat in your sleep.

He ruined the whole cell dynamic, would get very paranoid at times, belligerent against other inmates and guards, started to make shivs and stuff mumbling to himself about punishing perceived insults etc.

Me and my friend were actually sleeping in turns at times to be ready in case sh*t pops off.

Just horrible. It made our time way worse.

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Larissa Smith

Larissa Smith

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2 years ago

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Just don't do anything to go to prison for

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In college I had a roommate who tried out/played for the baseball team. Now this dude was a pretty big guy and during any workout out he would sweat like a whore in church. During the entire baseball preseason this guy did not shower once. I think we were going on two full weeks before he actually showered and this was only because we talked to his girlfriend. She didn't go to our school, but when she came to visit we asked her to talk to him. They were in his room and we could hear her telling him how gross all this was through the wall.

On top of his refusal to shower, he chewed tons of tobacco and left his spitters everywhere. We had to make a rule about them because asking politely wasn't cutting it. He also had this mudjug that he would spit into and he would never clean it out so we had this pugnant chewing tobacco and spit smell in the apartment. At once point we took his mud jug and put it in the shower and pulled the curtain shut. He got pissed because he thought someone stole his jug (why would anyone steal it??). If he would have taken a shower at any point he would have found the jug.

I do not miss this man.

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Honestly, I think i was the worst roommate. I went through a pretty bad s**t phase, and would really just sleep with any girl that was at least a 5. Come back to the dorm around 3 in the morning typically to have sex and my roommate would always be there. He left after about 3 weeks.

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Terry Tobias

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2 years ago

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"Sleep with any girl that was at least 5"?!!

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My freshman year, I had a crazy roommate. He was a bigger guy with a p**nstache who thought all the women around him desired him. He tried very hard to make people like him, and failed miserably. He also had some sh**ty roommate habits. For example, he would set multiple alarms in the morning and not wake up when they went off, which forced me to get up and wake him up every time (it was a college dorm where we slept in the same room). He would also drive like 80 MPH on residential roads to to try and impress people.

Anyway. After 4 weeks of creeping everyone out in the hall and alienating himself, someone took his iPad as a joke. He freaked out and threatened multiple people, saying he would hack their computers and destroy their lives. Eventually someone told him his iPad was in one of my friend's rooms. He went inside, grabbed the guy, put a knife to his throat, and asked him where the iPad was. The cops came and he was expelled. But after that I didn't have to share my room the rest of the year, so that was cool.

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She called an ambulance on our other roommate in the middle of the night because she thought our roommate was cutting.

Her evidence: there were red spots on a towel.

What actually happened: our roommate dyed her hair red. Which she showed off the day before to everyone.

She didnt even tell anyone what she found. She just assumed the worst and called the authorites.

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I used to be Mormon, and went to BYU's Rexburg campus in eastern Idaho... lots of sheltered, weird Mormon kids there.

I shared an apartment with one guy who took the prohibition from drinking coffee VERY seriously. He refused to call our coffee table anything but a "hot cocoa table."

Then he spotted a bottle of Coffee Mate creamer (which I would put in hot chocolate) I had in the fridge, so he asked to speak with me. "JuniorBaconCheese... I found your coffee. I think we need to talk." I laughed in his face, and then tried to explain what was and wasn't coffee... He was naive, humorless and incredibly uninformed, but all things considered, could have been worse.

EDIT: Oh yeah - the Mormon 'Word of Wisdom' prohibits the use of coffee, tea, alcohol and nicotine. I forget that some people don't know Mormonism's quirks go beyond just the polygamist history...

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Isabel Care

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2 years ago (edited)

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There's caffeine in chocolate/cocoa.

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I went to University in the UK in 2001, at which time shared rooms were still fairly common (I believe they are much rarer now). I was put into a room with an intensely cool, very urbane and charismatic guy from London, where I was a very shy, hugely awkward and literary guy from the rural East of England. Naturally, we didn't exactly hit it off, and I always felt he was a little let down by me, reducing as I did the chances of room-mate japery and high-jinks.


Early in the semester, around November time, my room-mate, who already by this point had given up trying to communicate with me in any meaningful way, invited some good friends from London to stay with him. In our room. I briefly met them in the early evening, but they went out into town and stayed out late. I stayed in my room with a bottle of red wine and a copy of *Last of the Mohicans*, so I was pretty happy to enjoy the space. I fell asleep.


I was woken by the sound of groaning and strange, grotesque noises of general discomfort and unhappiness. Confused for a while, I peered into the darkness trying to figure out what was going on. The groaning continued, and then I spotted the silhouette of someone by the window, seemingly gazing out into the night. Then I heard the sound of trickling water, which soon established itself into quite a noisy torrent. My first thought was that it was raining, but the brief glow of a car's headlights as it passed revealed that there was a strange man (one of the London visitors) standing and urinating very confidently and purposefully against the radiator underneath the room window. He was making those satisfied, gleeful noises that any man will recognise, suggesting that this p**s was well-needed and a real delight. Unfortunately, my new coat, bought only two days before, was on said radiator and was now glistening with the p**s of the inebriated. For drunk he was. In fact, I found out the next day that he was totally off his tits on cocaine and that he, his friend and my room-mate had had a pretty hard night on the town, drinking and inhaling all kinds of s**t. Now, for a rural lad of no experience, this was all a real eye opener and I decided from that moment I would never touch drugs, and I still haven't.


My roommate moved out soon afterwards, leaving me a room to myself.

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Susie Elle

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2 years ago

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Did he reimburse your coat?

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Ate literally all of my groceries ($60 worth) the day I got them while I was gone. He made a very nice meal for his gf and her friend as well. "Sorry bro... don't have the cash and didn't want to go to the store."

Also drank all my beer.

Stayed up doing coke until I left for class... regularly

Slept with my gf while I was out of town

Yes... in that order. I really didn't like that gf much. Oh, and didn't do the dishes, clean, etc.

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Meth heads, guy and his girlfriend, wouldn't leave the bedroom for weeks cause they thought my other roommate and I had it out to get them. Sh*t and piss in many, 10+, empty paint cans cause you know, not leaving the room due to fear. They left the paint cans in the closet when they left in the middle of the night 2 weeks after being served eviction notice due to non-payment. Nailed bedroom door shut with about 30 nails to keep us out due to paranoia of physical violence after eviction notice. When they left, they locked the front door, then broke it down because they forgot something.

Had to replace everything in the bedroom including carpet and door, walls needed repainted and in some place re-drywalled, new front door. Out $2500 for rent plus another $3000 for repairs.

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Stole my old phone and some other electronics to sell on craigslist for rent money. He gave the landline phone number (mine) for call backs. I was taking a message for him and asked what it was about, when the caller described wanting to buy "the bedazzled sidekick"...I started looking thru my things and figured it out.

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I lived with a magician.

Of the many moments the odd one that I remember vividly was when he was about to leave the country for near about 2 months. Before he left (hours before going the airport) he filled the freezer with whole chickens. Then got really upset when we ate them to free up space.

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Laroo

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2 years ago

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I hope when he asked where they went you patted your belly and shouted ‘ta-dah!’

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My first roommate in college was a weird one.


He used to listen to weird a*s music, on blast, on repeat for weeks. All day every day.


He would set his alarm clock to ring every half hour from 4AM to 9AM. And it would play through his iHome speakers, and of course it would be that one that sounds like my head is inside of a clock tower bell. *Especially after staying up late to party the night before.*

We only had one cord for the cable in our dorm, and **every time** I asked him if I could use the cable on my TV he would say no with much hostility. Even if he wasn't planning on using it. So I'd ask if I could just use his TV to watch cable and would be again met with a hostile, "NO!"

One time he went through my s**t because he "thought he smelled something rotten" only to find my weed stash. He then reported it to our RA. Luckily, I knew the RA from my hometown, so I got the benefit of the doubt (and my weed back). But after that happened I was just like, "Da fuq?"

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Had the worst roommate during my sophomore year of college. This guy would literally sit on the couch in the living room all day watching TV, playing on his computer, and listening to his god awful music with the biggest headphones (All at the same time. Yes.). On top of that, he just left his dishes, bowls, and utensils around after he finished eating in the living room, so my friends and I never hung around there. If my friends even bothered to come, we'd just hang around a little bit in the bedroom before heading out.


Oh, did I mention the bathroom? No? Well this guy barely used the bathroom. And when he did, oh dear Lord. He would take 50-70 minutes taking the shower (God knows what he was doing since the smell of him didn't improve whatsoever afterwards; it would sometimes get worse), and if he took a s**t? I literally went in the first time afterwards and threw up. That was when I was moving in, and I didn't want to embarrass my parents and friend who were helping me move the furnitures. So when they asked what was wrong, I didn't want to point fingers at my roommate on our first day, so I just lied.


And when this m**********r sleeps. He takes off his shirt and exposes the smell of death, which will squeeze and suffocate your nose. It's so hard to sleep. On top of that, he snores. Actually, I'm not even sure if that's snoring. It sounds like someone's choking him by stuffing Hot Cheetos down his throat but he's satisfied with that and just eats all of that s**t up. I literally had to invest in some earplugs.


Oh, and I'm pretty sure he killed my pet turtle.

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Cody

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2 years ago

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What? You can't just end it with that last sentence!

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I had to work abroad for three months. I came home to discover the bathroom light bulb had blown just after I left. Roomie felt she couldn't change it herself so called an electrician. Electrician laughed at her and told her she could save a fortune and do it herself. She still hadn't done it by the time I got back.
Needless to say I fixed it in about 5 minutes. It would have been sooner but I couldn't stop chuckling at the thought of her s******g in the dark for months.

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I made the mistake of living with friends, and it all went to s**t.

They were all slobs and I got really tired of cleaning up after them, but that wasn't the worst of it. No, the worst of it was my one friend's boyfriend. You see, she had previously been in a bad relationship, and all of us *promised* we would say if we thought she was in another bad one.

Did that work? lol no

Everyone hated her new boyfriend but I was the only one that flat out told her she was being used and she should get out. I became Enemy #1, as suddenly everyone else was *so supportive* of her relationship. They *plotted* ways to get back at me. I actually overheard them saying what they were going to do around the apartment to p**s me off.

Jokes on her. They're divorced now, and one of the others in a spiraling-to-hell relationship. The one I remained friends with (she didn't plot, she was just a slob) is still contently married.

I did get a half-hearted apology one time, but it was cut off when I said I wasn't sorry for anything.