Join the Fun!

My adorable father in law told me I HAD to deliver vaginally. If I had a C section, I wouldn't love my baby as much because I didn't suffer for him. First of all, the kid was comfortably sitting and was NOT turning around, you utter [bung]hole. I was not about to risk my kid's life in a feet first delivery, no sir. Second, a C section is a major surgery and a pain in the ass, believe me, I did suffer. You try being cut open like that while awake and then deal with a feisty colicky new born while recovering from it. Third, really? I need to feel pain in order to love my child? I can't even. Fourth, you don't even have a uterus, old man. Zip it.

Elerinwen Report

Final score:

253points

POST

JLH 3 years ago

Actually it's true. As a father I found I was incapable of loving my child until I stubbed my toe on the way to the vending machine in the delivery ward. Until I felt that suffering I found it impossible to love. Science be crazy that way.

107points

coffeeandjesus1986 Report

When I found out I was pregnant a 4th time (3 losses in row) I heard so many from strangers mine isn’t necessarily advice but more open mouth insert foot “Are you SURE this one is going to work?”

I was also told if I was on my cell phone or around my modem/router it would cause brain damage to my unborn child.

She’s 4, perfectly healthy, no brain damage and let’s just say it took a lot of medical attention to get her to full term.

What caused my miscarriages they said my hormones couldn’t sustain a pregnancy and after the 3rd I was told that with my hormone levels getting pregnant again wouldn’t happen. She was a surprise and the best one ever. It took an educated doctor that wanted the best outcome. Previous doctors just looked at my history and was like sorry for your loss maybe next time will go better..

The best day of my husband and mines life was finding out that she was alive, thriving and having an amazing doctor who moved heaven and earth to make sure she’d make it. He was at work when I found out he actually yelled and his entire office heard him he almost ran around the office he was more excited than me!

Final score:

205points

POST

Cats 3 years ago (edited)

My aunt (a pediatrician) went through a similar struggle. Their daughter was pregnancy 4 or 5 and it took 4 months in hospital to manage her medications and hormone supplements around the clock. Luckily their healthcare was good and they’d saved up for IVF if the fifth natural pregnancy didn’t work out. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Her mother told her to quit her job, because her body must smell she’s around so many sick kids and refused to add a child to that environment. You know, how we throw up when someone else does because our body fears we ate the same poison. She told her mom that that was impossible, incredibly cruel, but also that she didn’t care to be angry with her because any stress on the pregnancy was too much. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________ She visited her former patients at the child wing every week and she believes it kept her calm enough to make it to 8 months. I’m so incredibly glad to hear you two got your precious healthy child. It’s something irreplaceable.

16points

My labor should be painless because Jesus died and erased the “pain during childbirth” penalty humans got from Eve. If I feel pain, it’s because I don’t believe in Jesus’ redemptive powers.

Lotrfreqally Report

Final score:

198points

POST

leia's emotional cupcake 3 years ago

well thats silly.

105points

My MIL said it's ok to drink mixed drinks... she went on to say that my husband was a margarita baby. I now call him that when he gets on my nerves.

blackcanary0127 Report

Final score:

193points

POST

Jazzy Mc. Jaz 3 years ago

ha ha!

48points

MyWaffleDoesNotJudge Report

I had a co-worker tell me that eating peanut butter (I was eating an apple with peanut butter on my lunch break) would give my baby cancer. I already thought she was the world's greatest idiot so that nugget of wisdom was just confirmation.

Final score:

182points

POST

Iso 3 years ago

what is the correlation here

42points

Oh! I was told that I need to shave down there or the baby will get carpet burn. Like.. Wut?

fallingkites88 Report

Final score:

168points

POST

Iso 3 years ago

yeah because that's how it works... isn't it...

54points

Not to drink hot tea because then I would boil my baby.

sawcy_cat_ Report

Final score:

167points

POST

Iso 3 years ago

NO- NOT THE HERBAL TEA THAT HELPS FOR PAIN MANAGEMENT FOR SOME PEOPLE-

32points

HerrDresserVonFyre 2 Report

Someone told my SO not to bathe because the baby would drown.

Edit: the reasoning for this advice was that the umbilical cord acted as a sort of snorkel from the baby to the mothers navel. If the navel was submerged the baby wouldn't be able to get air.

Final score:

163points

POST

Tamsin Far 3 years ago

wow... just wow.

78points

#10

According to my mother, everything can cause miscarriage.

Coffee?

Miscarriage

Tea?

Miscarriage

Too much meat?

Miscarriage

Not enough meat?

Miscarriage.

Sewing?

Miscarriage

Paddling the school canoe

Oh, you better believe that's a miscarriage.

Had two miscarriages before finally having my daughter. Just bad luck chromosomal abnormalities... but she made sure to remind me not to do all of those things again next time, you know... just in case.

Thanks for the subtle blame, Mom.

TheQueenOfFilth Report

Final score:

147points

POST

Jazzy Mc. Jaz 3 years ago

don't eat...

41points

#11

Not me but my sister. She had to have an emergency c section when she had my niece. Her mother in law said she wouldn’t be a “real woman” unless she had a vaginal birth.

madisjamz Report

Final score:

141points

POST

Commander Rex 3 years ago

Uh, and die in the process? noted...

120points

#12

My mom was talking to my paternal grandma while pregnant with me then winced because I was kicking her ribs. My grandma told her "swat it so it'll know!" She wanted my mom to spank fetus-me through her own belly for kicking her. After my mom told us that story, "Swat it so it'll know" became a common response any time someone was complaining about something.

keekzula Report

Final score:

140points

POST

hi myself 3 years ago

So I guess you will just slap yourself? Grandma knew EXACTLY what she was doing.

9points

#13

My grandmother made a comment about my weight gain with my first pregnancy around month 5. For reference, I started severely underweight at 87 lbs and was closely monitored by my doctor because of it. At this point, I was nearing 125. When I told her that the OB/GYN was happy with where I was, she told me of her own doctor's advice (in 1956), "Smoke a pack of cigarettes per day to keep your weight down. The baby can gain it's own weight after birth."

MerrisAwesome Report

Final score:

136points

POST

Iso 3 years ago

y'all i thought pregnancy was a thing that made you gain weight, you know? since you're growing a human inside you? turns out, that baby don't need no weight

65points

#14

-sitting with my legs crossed wil cause miscarriage.

-don't take a bath, itll cause a miscarriage.

-lifting more than 5lbs will cause a miscarriage.

-wearing tight fitted clothes will cause a miscarriage.

-spicy food would cause a miscarriage

-I worked retail. A stranger informed me that morning sickness and smell sensitivity isn't real, while I was heading to the bathroom to throw up.

-also had a customer tell me that the baby isn't actually affecting my bladder.

-had a third customer tell me to not drink tap water. Can't remember why. Probably causes miscarriages.

-my cousin tried to tell me that I had morning sickness because its Gods way of telling a woman she isn't ready for a baby.

-I had an anterior placenta, so we couldn't feel kicks until close to 30 weeks. My mom was said there's no such thing, and the reason we couldn't feel kicks is bc I was fat.

Tldr; literally everything causes miscarriages and morning sickness is a lie.

TacomaGirl93 Report

Final score:

132points

POST

Iso 3 years ago

i would not be able to have a child then, i don't know how to sit with straight legs

41points

#15

My friend's dad was a chiropractor. She told him I had had miscarriages. He told me, "No wonder. You will lose every pregnancy with a pelvis like that."

Freaked me out SO MUCH and I guess I ruined the party by crying and leaving, and my friend was mad at me.

I have back trouble, yes, but I have three children living.

Final score:

126points

POST

Kelli from Fitness Blender 3 years ago

Wow, your friend got mad at you for leaving the party that she ruined by telling her dad about your miscarriages causing him to say something completely inappropriate, which caused you to, understandably, freak out.

146points

#16

Oh I’ve got this: the lady at the counter in the village bakery told me that I should smear my face with SEMEN to counter pregnancy acne. It was the first time I’d ever met her.

Final score:

108points

POST

Arctic Fox Lover 3 years ago

What the actual watermelons-

53points

#17

Frozen cabbage leaves in the bra to help with swelling and pain due to breastfeeding. While it felt awesome for the whole minute or so they stayed frozen, they eventually turn to mush and make a mess.

Advice I wish someone had given me - get a mattress protector. Not just for when your water breaks. Carrying a big baby next to your bladder means just the act of rolling over in bed can cause leakage. And if you are too tired after the birth to take the baby to a changing table or the floor, you're gonna want a layer of protection on your mattress. Soon as that diaper is off, baby will projectile poop. Sheets and walls can be washed, but mattresses can't be. Poopsplosions are real. Prepare yourself.

Final score:

98points

POST

leia's emotional cupcake 3 years ago

pOoPsPlOsIoNs!!!

46points

realelizathornberry1 Report

#18

My very first OB visit (first baby) handed me a book about month by month pregnancy and said that if I had any questions to just refer to the book. Then I said well what if the baby...she cut me off right there and pointed to the book and said “ah, ah, ah, it’s in the book.” I changed OBs.

For those who are asking my question was not in the book. I had questions about the baby being premature (my brother and I were born very premature) and I was going to ask her about it.

And my baby ended up being born 3 and a half months early and I had a lot of complications prior to that. Being high risk is not fun! But he’s healthy now :)

Final score:

94points

POST

Arctic Fox Lover 3 years ago

Oh my goodness, 3 and a half months early?!

42points

Amalie Plougmann 3 years ago

Please educate me, what problems would be caused by being way too early?

3points

Load More Replies...

Kiss Army Premium 3 years ago

One of my sisters was so early that her and our brother are only 9 months and 7 days apart in age!

1point

Pupper pancakes 3 years ago (edited)

I was born 2 months early... and had severe colic, I don´t quite know if that is related?

1point

Crochet lady 3 years ago

My husband and I went to a birthing class run by our hospital that was run by a nurse. We dropped out of the class when we realized she was planning on doing a stage whisper every single time she said the word vagina. At first we laughed, thinking she was joking, then we realized she was for real. Imagine being a birth instructor and being uncomfortable with the word vagina. Sigh.

5points

Diane DeOrio 2 years ago

My mom’s favorite advice: the baby has NOT read the book.

0points

Ambar 3 years ago

oof...good thing the baby is healthy now!

0points

Chaotic_pansexual 3 years ago

Oh my goodness. I was born a month early and I already have my own problems including lung issues and neurological problems. I can’t imagine what this baby would’ve had to go through. But incredibly glad he’s healthy.

0points

Sportsgal 3 years ago

Glad he's OK! Scary that people like this have medical licenses!🤨

0points

Jan Smith 3 years ago

how is that person a Dr?

0points

Victoria the Dragon Girl 3 years ago

well I was only born 1 day early...

0points

Izzy Nya~~~ 3 years ago

And I was born a day late ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

2points

Load More Replies...

SoldMySoulForHairDye Report

#19

While pregnant with me, my mom was told that drinking beer would help her baby develop and be nice and chubby.

I was five weeks early and barely six pounds.

Yeah, it could have been substantially worse. Apart from being an early small baby, I don't have any fetal alcohol related health conditions.

Conversely, when my grandma was pregnant with my mom (her first) in the 50s, the accepted wisdom was that smoking while pregnant was a good idea for first time mothers because it lowered the birth weight. Which was supposed to make labour and delivery easier. But low birth weight is extremely dangerous and makes the process harder. My mom was born two months early and weighed about two or three pounds. She was so tiny that my grandma dressed her in baby doll clothing and my mom spent her first month of life in the hospital's NICU.

Final score:

92points

POST

Iso 3 years ago

sigh. where is this info coming from

35points

#20

That if you try really hard and stretch a lot, you too can have a vaginal birth. Not actually a bad plan, as long as you don't wind up not freaking dilating after 30 hour and have an emergency C section due to fetal distress. Because I just didn't try hard and stretch enough.

Pennyem Report

Final score:

92points

POST

Clearly sunny 3 years ago

Why do people hate so much on a c-section? I'm glad I didn't have to push an 8 pound baby out of my area. It was an emergency one so don't over judge me, I didn't choose it. Just glad now.

13points

#21

Don't eat spicy foods or stand under the moon.. ugh..

As someone pointed out in the comments, it's the full moon, not just the moon in general. This was a decade ago, and my memory sucks.

The spicy thing comes from the superstition that spicy foods will give your kid a birth mark.

MamaDMZ 2 Report

Final score:

87points

POST

Iso 3 years ago

so my mom ate lots of spicy food? that's why i have a birthmark?

31points

milfandcookies4santa Report

#22

I was about 8 months pregnant, i said something at family dinner one sunday about how i was scared of labor, my gram shouts out “ you know you should smoke a blunt”. now my family’s open about their pot use, most of my family will smoke from time to time but my grandmother has never smoked in her life so i was a bit confused.

I just looked at her and keeps going “ if you smoke blunts well your in labour it will keep you calm and help with the pain, i’ll find you some weed just smoke in the bathroom of the hospital..... but wear socks you have ugly feet and the doctor won’t want to help you if he sees your cracked heels”

my grandmother is something.

I didn’t take my grandmothers advice, and the doctor delivered my baby even with my cracked heals, and once i had the baby and could reach my feet again i made sure they weren’t cracked anymore.

Final score:

85points

POST

Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago

I was high as a kite when I gave birth to my first child. I was high on gas not weed though.

45points

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

See Also on Bored Panda

Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women

#23

To not drink water because it causes nausea.

melbell518 2 Report

Final score:

80points

POST

Iso 3 years ago

yeah, because being dehydrated is much better for the baby

98points

#24

Well i am the husband/father but a doctor told my 38 or 39 week pregnant wife that her condition was no excuse to not keep me sexually satisfied.

Not even sure why it was brought up. She was just getting a regular checkup. I wasnt even there. Doc busts out with this. (Not her regular doctor. Her regular doctor was also off pregnant).

She was NOT impressed to say the least.

So theres the advice. Being pregnant is no reason to not please your SO.

wdh662 Report

Final score:

77points

POST

Iso 3 years ago

...what the f**k?

58points

#25

Don’t raise your arms above your head, it will tangle the baby’s cord and the baby will die.

queenoreo Report

Final score:

71points

POST

somnomania 3 years ago

just file this one next to "the uterus just sometimes wanders around the body and that's why ladies get upset"

24points

#26

got severe itching all over the body during 7th mo.

did the routine test for liver function.all normal

Colleague advises, rub your husband's underwear which he has left for wash/laundry all over ur body as remedy for itching.

No. I DID NOT FOLLOW IT.

THEMNMGIRL Report

Final score:

70points

POST

Iso 3 years ago

that's just strange

34points

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

See Also on Bored Panda

“Ma’am I Live Here”: Woman Refuses To Back Out Of Driveway, Learns A Lesson The Hard Way

#27

“Don’t worry about the swelling and high blood pressure, thats normal.” -my midwife days before being induced due to preeclampsia

pizza_witch Report

Final score:

67points

POST

Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago

So dangerous.

42points

#28

I was told that heart burn during the pregnancy meant that the child had a lot of head hair.

Had a [crap] load of heart burn.

Kid barely had hair.

Zombiebloomers Report

Final score:

67points

POST

Dark_flame 3 years ago

I've heard this as well somewhere

16points

#29

When I found out I was pregnant a nurse friend of mine felt the need to rattle off an endless list of [crap] that could potentially be wrong with my baby. Another friend of mine, when I started telling people I was pregnant after the three months and was accused of telling people too early, said "It doesn't matter when you tell people, you could have a miscarriage at any point during your pregnancy." They both meant well, but really guys lol shut up!

Vixenstein Report

Final score:

66points

POST

Anke Dieken 3 years ago

One of the reasons why I chose the hospital I gave birth in. Hospital one: this could happen, then we do that and also that could happen which is handled as followed ... and so on. Hospital two: That's the breakfast room, choose to eat what you like, open from ... to ... etc. One woman asked about c-section and the doc answered: "Yes, of cours that may happen, but it is not that often and we are very good at it." I went to hosptial 2, of course.

5points

50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

See Also on Bored Panda

French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics

#30

Not to sit on stairs because it will cause you to have a miscarriage... people are crazy.

PrincessShelbyy Report

Final score:

60points

POST

Iso 3 years ago

isn't sitting on chairs and stairs the same thing? you're just on something else, it doesn't change anything

24points

#31

That I should drink her [crappy] MLM aloe vera juice every day... It's not advisable for pregnant women...

Turns out it was indeed herbal life.

saskabushmaster Report

Final score:

60points

POST

#32

my entire family was super judgmental/against breastfeeding for some reason, it was really strange. ‘how long are you going to do THAT for?’

Final score:

60points

POST

Iso 3 years ago

for as long as the developing human needs? i mean... you can't just feed meat to an infant with no teeth

52points

#33

Do not go to the zoo Bc if you look at a monkey your baby will be ugly

rjlik Report

Final score:

60points

POST

leia's emotional cupcake 3 years ago

and if you look at a pigeon your baby will eat trash...

55points

oints · 2 years ago 237 children User avatar level 1 Report

#34

When I was pregnant past my due date a co-worker advised me to drink cod liver oil mixed with vodka. Apparently this mixture would upset my digestive system, give me horrible diarrhea and thus trigger labor contractions.

Edit: I did not drink this combo to help with being overdue. I ended up several days later being medically induced and labor/delivery was swift and baby healthy. He is a grown man now.

Final score:

59points

POST

Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago

I have heard of women drinking castor oil to bring on labour but not vodka and cod liver oil.

29points

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

See Also on Bored Panda

Mom Leaves $250k Inheritance To Son, Throws A Fit When Daughter Stops Looking After Her

#35

Not allowed to sew either using sewing machine or hand. It will cause the umbilical cord to tangled.

Inis90 Report

Final score:

57points

POST

Arctic Fox Lover 3 years ago

Yes, because the umbilical cord will sense that you're using string to sew, and it will try to mimic the string, tangling itself up because it's not sewing string. Obviously XD

26points

#36

Taking a bath can cause a miscarriage.

To be fair, it was from my husband's (incredibly sweet) grandmother, who meant well. She was 92 years old at the time and hadn't been pregnant in a very, very long time! She also had a good number of miscarriages (my father in law and his sister are 15 years apart in age), so I think she was coming from a different place than most.

lenachristina Report

Final score:

53points

POST

Arctic Fox Lover 3 years ago

My mom only had one miscarriage, and my sister was supposed to have a twin. However, I think that if she did have a twin, my mom wouldn't have had me. But my brother that's closest in age to me is 9 years older, my oldest brother being 16 years older, so that'll be an interesting story to tell my future children.

13points

#37

One person told me I would never be able to fit a baby out of my body because I wasn't big enough "down there" and to just get a Csection....not a doctor. A random person who had literally never seen "down there." No I'm not going to get major surgery just because you don't think I'm large enough.

Final score:

52points

POST

Iso 3 years ago

but it stretch when bebe come out

21points

Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

See Also on Bored Panda

“This Breaks My Heart”: People Stunned—And Angry—After Woman Buys Lost Luggage From Airport

#38

So not really about pregnancy advice, but someone told me to put baking soda in a cup and piss on it first thing in the morning. If it fizzed, I was pregnant with a boy. If it did not fizz, I was having a girl.

introvertalert Report

Final score:

47points

POST

Iso 3 years ago

i swear- THE GENDER DOESNT CHANGE THE FLUID

47points

#39

One of my work colleagues was obsessed with recommending that I eat citrus fruits, especially the easy-to-peel Cutie tangerines. She was convinced it would give the baby a higher IQ in the long run.

AikenRhetWrites Report

Final score:

45points

POST

Iso 3 years ago

my mom should've ate more tangerines then

50points

#40

My grandma constantly told me not to argue with my husband because it would cause the baby to be “fussy” and “difficult.”

lemonseedsforme Report

Final score:

44points

POST

Tacocat 3 years ago

Hey, telling people not to argue with you because your kid will be demon spawn is kinda genius

33points