45 Modern Parenting “Trends” That People Just Can’t Stand, As Shared In This Online Thread

Raising tiny humans is a challenge that many parents gladly accept, even though they know that navigating the trials and tribulations of the journey can be overwhelming. After all, parenthood is always evolving. New ideas, technologies, and methods come about and demand that moms and dads adapt to the modern parenting arena and raise their little bundles of joy in the best way possible.

But while everyone wants what's best for their kids, some controversial tactics inevitably stir heated debates. So when a Redditor called ShopFastWhere reached out to 'Ask Reddit' wondering, "What parenting 'trend' you disagree with?", the answers started rolling in. In fact, the question sparked a much deeper chain of questionable and even toxic parenting behaviors that people are, quite frankly, sick and tired of seeing.

Below, we've gathered some of the most illuminating, blatantly honest, and thought-provoking arguments to share with you all. So continue scrolling, upvote the examples you agree with, and let us know what current parenting trends you don't agree with in the comments.

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Can we make gender reveal parties illegal?

Trust me. Nobody wants to attend your gender reveal party. Just have the baby shower and be done with it. For adding yet another event to celebrate your pregnancy is just narcissistic.

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45 Modern Parenting "Trends" That People Just Can’t Stand, As Shared In This Online Thread Leaving American mothers with absolutely no support, no paid parental leave, no decent childcare options, poor postpartum healthcare, and then criticizing them ad nauseam for the choices they are forced to make in the hellscape that is American motherhood.

MusaEnimScale , Carlos Ebert Report

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From day one, moms and dads get bombarded with heaps of advice, usually unasked, about how to raise their children. Wait, scratch that. They get flooded with tips and how-tos even before they can welcome their little bundle of joy into their lives.

While virtually anyone has an opinion on the matter, and many seem to believe that their way is the right way, the topic remains a delicate subject. After all, there are as many parenting tactics as there are parents, and each person comes up with their own child-rearing style, tailor-made to fit the unique relationship between them and their kid.

But even if there’s no universal recipe on how to raise children, it’s easy to see that some of the trends parents choose these days are controversial at best and toxic at worst. So to gain more insight on the topic, we reached out to a lifestyle blogger and a working mom of two energetic girls, Holly Connors. After a decade of working in psychology, Holly is now the author of the acclaimed site Simplify Create Inspire where she helps families make their lives easier.

45 Modern Parenting "Trends" That People Just Can’t Stand, As Shared In This Online Thread I told my kids quite openly about my punk years and raving years and living in a van doing gig job years, encouraged them to do whatever they liked

and they both rebelled by doing really well at school, not taking loads of drugs (neither of them even drink!) and getting themselves sensible careers.

there's no hope for the youth of today. squares, the lot of 'em

dannydevon , Viktor Forgacs Report

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45 Modern Parenting "Trends" That People Just Can’t Stand, As Shared In This Online Thread The parents that say “real” moms don’t have c sections. That s**t needs to stop.

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"Parenting is the one area of life in which no one is the expert," Holly told Bored Panda in an email. "Not even the experts have all the answers for what is right or wrong in every scenario. As a result, parents are constantly trying to figure out what works best for their own families and this can lead to strong opinions and disagreements with each other."

One common topic that keeps resurfacing in some form or another is how parents introduce and familiarize their little ones with the digital world. "For example, I know of some parents who have opted against letting their children use social media while others believe they should be allowed access at an early age. In our household, there are a lot of tech limits but some supervised access is a way to ease children into something that will be a big part of their future," Holly said.

45 Modern Parenting "Trends" That People Just Can’t Stand, As Shared In This Online Thread putting every single damn thing on social media

hoperises8765 , Tatiana Syrikova Report

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45 Modern Parenting "Trends" That People Just Can’t Stand, As Shared In This Online Thread Encouraging transgendering or using alternate pronouns JUST because your child exhibits some behaviors that aren't overwhelming part of either of the gender binary.

It's fine if your daughter or son wants to engage in activities that stereotypically are engaged by the other sex. Tomboys are a thing. Experimentation is normal it's not just a sign of being trans.

Hair cuts, toys, clothes etc. Don't drop knowledge far too advanced into children's heads. Let them come to these conclusion of their own volition. Your child is not an accessory

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45 Modern Parenting "Trends" That People Just Can’t Stand, As Shared In This Online Thread Parents who won't use "no" with their kids.

TheClayroo , Biova Nakou Report

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When it comes to the reasons parents adopt controversial methods to raise their kids, Holly explained some of them may be simply "repeating the cycle from their own upbringing without questioning its effect."

"Others may be trying to micromanage their child's life in order to protect them from making mistakes or experiencing failure similar to their own childhoods, even if that means overly controlling their environment," the creator of Simplify Create Inspire added.

Turns out, people may turn into controlling parents because they simply want what’s best for their kids — in their own minds. "This is usually done in an attempt to protect their children from a place of love, but often it can cause more harm than good as the child attempts to gain their own independence.

45 Modern Parenting "Trends" That People Just Can’t Stand, As Shared In This Online Thread Parents trying to create golden child by enrolling it in thousands of extra activities, something musical, tutoring on STEM subjects from first year of school, some sports activity, etc. To the point where child is basically on doubleshift with school and all extra activities with extremely tight schedule.

Kids are missing out on becoming independent from young age like riding bike around or using public transportation because helicopter mommy drives them from activity to activity all day to met tight schedule, they are robbed out of their childhood and usually create only shallow relationships with people they met during activities but don't have time to expand on them.

Keldonv7 , Budgeron Bach Report

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45 Modern Parenting "Trends" That People Just Can’t Stand, As Shared In This Online Thread I work as a waitress and I notice some parents allowing their children to do whatever they like in a public place and then not cleaning up after them or apologising… no, it’s not my job to clean your child’s mess, it’s yours - you don’t come to a cafe just so you don’t have to clean up. I am talking food all over the floor, opening up sugar packets and throwing them everywhere, taking clean cutlery setup for patrons who need to use it and throwing it everywhere and leaving it like that… no. Just no.

webofhorrors , Vanna Phon Report

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#10

45 Modern Parenting "Trends" That People Just Can’t Stand, As Shared In This Online Thread Stop comparing your kid with other kids when you are disappointed at them for not achieving *your* expectations

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"In addition, there are those who think that their parenting style is the only 'right' way to do things and will go to great lengths to defend it. This can be more damaging as it creates tension between family members, in school settings and especially on social media."

However, Holly assured us that there is definitely no single "right" to raise a child. "From cultural differences to the special needs of an individual child, every parent's journey is unique and no two are the same. There may be general principles that parents can follow, but they will still need to be adapted to each individual family's dynamics."

#11

45 Modern Parenting "Trends" That People Just Can’t Stand, As Shared In This Online Thread Parents who are way too involved in their adult children’s lives. Your kid is 23, you don’t need to call his boss to talk about anything unless your kid is dead.

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#12

45 Modern Parenting "Trends" That People Just Can’t Stand, As Shared In This Online Thread Disregarding your kids personal physical boundaries for the sake of being ‘polite’. This goes for both parents and any other adult around children. Sorry, if my kid doesn’t want to give you a hug or a kiss on the cheek (or even a high-five for that matter) it ain’t gonna happen. Doesn’t matter who you are to them.

It should never be expected or pushed on a child, period.

Quietly-False , Yan Krukov Report

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#13

45 Modern Parenting "Trends" That People Just Can’t Stand, As Shared In This Online Thread Never saying sorry to your children. Not really a trend though because this has basically always been like this

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"At the end of the day, we can assume that all parents want what is best for their children, even if their method and approach might not always be the most popular or agreed upon. We are individuals with unique views and experiences, so it is important to keep an open mind when discussing different parenting approaches."

#14

Blaming teachers for kid's problems.

Are there some bad teachers? Of course. But blaming the teacher/school when you yourself won't discipline them is refusing to take responsibility for your parenting choices.

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#15

45 Modern Parenting "Trends" That People Just Can’t Stand, As Shared In This Online Thread Publicly shaming their kids. Often for not doing something they'd never expect another adult to do.

jackfaire , Karolina Grabowska Report

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#16

45 Modern Parenting "Trends" That People Just Can’t Stand, As Shared In This Online Thread Using the line "let the kids express themselves" when the kids are running around screaming and tearing things up. I'm not saying you have to hit your kids to get them to behave but do something. Stop them yell at them do what you have to do just try to do something to discipline your kids.

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Among the new questionable trends that emerge in parenting, one usually stands right at the top of the list — parents who become over-involved and hover over every aspect of their child's life. Even though it seems this helps protect the child from hurt, danger, and failure, in fact, it's taking away the opportunity to learn.

According to Holly, kids of all ages benefit from learning how to make decisions for themselves. "Parents can help create an environment where this is possible by encouraging kids to think about their choices and helping them weigh out the pros and cons of each one," she advised.

"When children are given no control over their environment, there is no opportunity to learn from their mistakes in order to build up resilience or problem-solve. This can make it much harder for the child to adapt to the real world when they are older."

#17

45 Modern Parenting "Trends" That People Just Can’t Stand, As Shared In This Online Thread Not just a parenting trick, but the whole "breaking someone down to make them stronger!" thing... That's just f*****g abuse and will 99, 9% of the time NOT WORK and only make people hate you.

throwawaywhoopdydoo , Elina Fairytale Report

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#18

45 Modern Parenting "Trends" That People Just Can’t Stand, As Shared In This Online Thread Destroying their children’s electronics as a punishment.

bison_johnston , Carrrrrlos Report

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#19

45 Modern Parenting "Trends" That People Just Can’t Stand, As Shared In This Online Thread tiktok mommy bloggers.

theres a huge spike of mommy bloggers on tiktok especially who are posting vids of their babies in the bath, in swimsuits, or in their diapers and when people comment like 'uhhhh maybe you should take this down, theres pedophiles online' the moms blow up and accuse everyone of being a pervert by 'sexualizing her baby'. But the moms are yelling at the concerned people! Not the pedophiles! I cant remember the account name but the situation was f*****g horrifying. For some context for non-tiktok users, the amount of shares/saves/bookmarks on posts is public. Also, if youre popular enough, tiktok pays you per view/interaction/save, so a lot of content creators get money from tiktok. On this mommy blog, the vids of her daughter in her swimsuit or in the bath had about 5x as many saves/bookmarks. At first when people pointed this out, mom ignored it. Then she called anyone who mentioned it a pervert. Then she said she cant stop pedophiles from coming to her account so she cant do anything about it. Then people were like 'wait, you agree that pedophiles are watching this?? and you keep making videos?? arent you basically making cp at this point??' and then it was just a whole s**t show from there. Shes still up and running.

i feel like this shouldnt be a controversial take, but if you're profiting off of pedophiles watching your baby in the bath, you learn that thats whats happening, and you continue to make videos of your baby in the bath to make money from pedophiles, congrats-- you have become a child porn peddler.

ghostthingz , George Milton Report

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Unfortunately, high-control parenting can lead to dire consequences like low-self esteem, "as it communicates the idea that the parent does not trust them or believe they can make the right choices," Holly said. "It is much better for a child's development if the parent gives them some autonomy and allows them to explore their options, so long as they remain safe."

Holly argues that the best way to encourage independence in kids is by "setting boundaries, providing structure, and allowing them the room to explore and make decisions on their own. This helps build up their confidence while also giving them the opportunity to learn from their mistakes."

#20

45 Modern Parenting "Trends" That People Just Can’t Stand, As Shared In This Online Thread Shoving tablets in their face instead of doing things with them

Gullible-Lobster-590 , Patricia Prudente Report

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#21

45 Modern Parenting "Trends" That People Just Can’t Stand, As Shared In This Online Thread Shaming your kids on social media. Like, making them hold a sign that states what they did and putting a picture of it on the internet. And we wonder why the world is full of bullies...

Wonderlust8675309 , Nicole Adams Report

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#22

Having worked in early childhood education, there are a lot of parents who focus on academics rather than social emotional skills, self care, and social skills. "Mrs. Parent, that is absolutely wonderful that 4 year old Raighdyn can read at a second grade level and does 25 worksheets every night, but can we discuss the fact that he has panic attacks, sensory issues, hits his class mates and doesn't know how to wipe himself? No? Oh, ok, you'll give him a worksheet to learn about it. Great..."

Seriously, parents need to tell their preschool and kindergarten teachers that play based learning is the most appropriate learning style for EVERY CHILD at that age. It doesn't matter if they are advanced and can do the desk work, they still need to build so many other non-academic skills that will bolster their ability to "student" effectively in the future. I recently resigned from my much loved position in a preschool because the administration was trying to go against the state standards and have us start teaching preschoolers how to read. They moved a more senior teacher out of her room against her will and inserted a more malleable, newer teacher in because she was willing to do what they wanted, and guess what happened? Her class was a NIGHTMARE. Now that class is in Kindergarten and they are having so many behavior issues that they can't even teach.

DOWN WITH WORKSHEETS!

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

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At the end of the day, parents today face challenges that require them to keep up with the times and the increased demands of their roles. Holly argues that this whole journey is an ongoing process of learning and adapting to each individual child's needs. "Parents should strive for a balance between loving guidance and allowing their children to make mistakes and grow from them. This will give kids the best chance at becoming independent adults with the skills they need to succeed in life."

"We should also be mindful of our own biases and experiences, as these can influence how we parent and how we react to other parenting methods," Holly continued. "It is important to be open-minded and consider different perspectives before making decisions about how to raise our children."

"If we don't agree with something and it isn't causing any actual harm, just walk away," she concluded.

#23

45 Modern Parenting "Trends" That People Just Can’t Stand, As Shared In This Online Thread 'Everyone's a winner'. Nope. Just nope.

lhj81 , WVTROUT Report

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#24

45 Modern Parenting "Trends" That People Just Can’t Stand, As Shared In This Online Thread Never lettings them fail. I see young people who enter the workforce having never failed at anything, because their parents simply swooped in and fixed whatever problem they may have had.

These young people have a real struggle adapting to and overcoming problems, and they often seem traumatized by virtually any setback.

Let your kids try stuff that isn't going to work. Let them fail to solve problems and achieve goals. When they get into a bind, let them struggle and fail. Help them to understand why they failed, and to develop strategies to succeed in the future.

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#25

45 Modern Parenting "Trends" That People Just Can’t Stand, As Shared In This Online Thread Letting your kid eat whatever they want. Way too many kids hitting obese status by 10.

whiskey_weasel_ , sklei Report

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#26

45 Modern Parenting "Trends" That People Just Can’t Stand, As Shared In This Online Thread Beating your kids till they fear coming home, I was one of those kids and I hated every moment of my childhood.

IRISH-SLAPPER , Kostiantyn Li Report

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#27

Scaring their kids as a prank, regardless of whether it’s filmed or not, before the children can comprehend what a prank even is

“Let me put on this scary monster mask and jump out in front of my toddler”

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#28

45 Modern Parenting "Trends" That People Just Can’t Stand, As Shared In This Online Thread Sharing their childrens' problem to their friends. Parents should be trusted by their kids of keeping their problems. Maybe that's the reason why most kids and even teens dont share their problems to their parents but to their friends

Mr_Prophet_22 , cottonbro studio Report

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#29

45 Modern Parenting "Trends" That People Just Can’t Stand, As Shared In This Online Thread Not being able to discipline your own kids.
Discipline and abuse are two totally different things!
You either correct them now or let the "system" do it for you later.

Cryptangel13 , Mikhail Nilov Report

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87points

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#30

I’m 17 and my parents don’t allow a closed door.

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#31

Treating your kids like they’re the center of the world. My son is the center of my world, but I can’t treat him that way. It would be a rude awakening when he’s not the center of attention wherever he goes.

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#32

Hitting them

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#33

Enforcing religion, teaching kids materialism will make them happy, not looking into the child's mental health

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75points

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#34

Treating your child like they were perfect and blaming everyone else for your child's and your f**k ups.
Oh, and taking your child's side no matter what, even if they're wrong.

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#35

45 Modern Parenting "Trends" That People Just Can’t Stand, As Shared In This Online Thread Some gentle parenting techniques go too far. My ex-nephew had a tantrum in the middle of my ex-MIL’s living room one day because his bagel was cut in half (typical toddler stuff). SIL at the time just kept saying in this over the top voice “ohh, I’m so sorry. I know you didn’t want your bagel cut. I know, it’s so hard, blah blah blah.” She just kept on like that to him forever while the rest of us just had to sit there with a screaming toddler melting down in the middle of the room. Remove him! Take him to another room and have him calm the hell down to behave with others. There’s gotta be a balance on supporting your kids through their feelings and teaching them how to function around others.

She also helicoptered him so much he was developmentally behind in motor skills/physically for a while cause she never let him fall or explore/ figure anything out like toddlers do. She treated him like he was made of glass.

The_RoyalPee , Jep Gambardella Report

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#36

Homeschooling kids to protect them from what happens in the education system. I don't like everything that happens in schools, but kids need a real education and regular exposure to kids their age.

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#37

ALL of them. There is no trend or even broad tactic that will work every kid. They need to know that love is unconditional but respect is not. That they have rights and responsibilities.

They have to know they are the most important thing in the world until they believe, and then you have to dial that back to where they understand that their parents love them but they are one member of a bigger society.

Parenting is hard, and every kid needs to be patented different. Every parenting trend is just one more layer of b******t trying to sell you stuff based on your fear of inadequacy.

Talk to your kids and put the phone down.

Source: ten years in child care.

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#38

Filming or taking pics of crying younger kids and posting it on social media like it's cute/funny. Sure, they may be crying for a silly reason, but they aren't old enough to process their emotions properly, so to them it's a big deal. Maybe I'm being too sensitive, but it feels like their main protector giggling and taking their phone out to film them during a meltdown can't be something good for their emotional well-being and ability to trust in the long term.

Greenpaper92 Report

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65points

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#39

45 Modern Parenting "Trends" That People Just Can’t Stand, As Shared In This Online Thread No punishments at all. You cannot tune a complex system with positive feedback alone.

LeepII , Josh Willink Report

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63points

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#40

45 Modern Parenting "Trends" That People Just Can’t Stand, As Shared In This Online Thread I used to bicycle long distances regularly to get to friends, swim lessons and when I was old enough, to work.

Now it seems you are a terrible parent if you let your child out of your sight? From the perspective of building independence, confidence and saving the planet from helicopter parents driving their kids everywhere can we please just let kids bicycle again?

The_Frostweaver , Elizabeth Zernetska Report

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#41

The lines between gentle parenting and permissive parenting are getting blurred.

I 100% believe children should have their feelings validated and be spoken to like actual human-beings. I abhor corporal punishment and feel that it is lazy and abusive. However, it is not good to have the pendulum swing too far the other direction. Too many parents make the decision to never say “no,” and withhold any form of discipline. Their kids grow into spoiled, demonic, terroristic little shits and believe the entire world should bend to their will.

Geodudette2014 Report

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#42

Kids/babies in dating app photos. I think there should be a rule against it no minors. Mind boggling how many guys have them on there.

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#43

“Cry it out”. I think it’s cruel and didn’t do it with either of my kids. If my baby is crying it needs me, it’s natural instinct

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#44

Instagram for fetuses and babies, keep your children away from that kind of exposure

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#45

45 Modern Parenting "Trends" That People Just Can’t Stand, As Shared In This Online Thread Blaming the phone for any sort of pain

c_y_a_n__gang , Liza Summer Report

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41points

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#46

Unschooling. Intentionally not educating your kids academia items.

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#47

No rules, no saying no. It creates entitled and spoiled kids who have complete meltdowns well past meltdown age. Plus it leads to a much harder adulthood when the world doesn't give them everything they want to shut them up.

22days2 Report

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25points

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#48

45 Modern Parenting "Trends" That People Just Can’t Stand, As Shared In This Online Thread Actions have no consequences. If they do wrong, discipline them!

luckyduck1945 , ella Report

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24points

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#49

Completely ignoring your kid when they're acting up in public and letting them p**s everyone else off.

Mental_Task9156 Report

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24points

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#50

Pushing kids to go a certain way in life vs. what would best suit their child(ren).
Parents will not be living the lives of their children.

___Divergent___ Report

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22points

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#51

Attachment parenting. You know, those weird a*s mother who let their kids breastfeed until they the kid decides to stop, often times ending up with 5+ year olds sucking on their tits every day.

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22points

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#52

Banning books.

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#53

Kicking them out at 18

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#54

amber jewelry

spraying whip cream in the mouths of kids in the middle of temper tantrums

misspelling common names and complicating others:. Ambyr, Brodyn, Charliquann, Trishtan, Kaylaie, Merriaya, Kaytlyn, Dominique

using electronics as a baby sitter.

If you aren't with the kid while he is using the 'educational software for genius 2 year olds' then it is basically a babysitter

Multiple first names (brandyn Mark, Billey Dominiques

unvaccinated kids but then bitching about it when they can't enter public and education services

abortion bans

cyrixlord Report

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18points

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#55

Just anything that involves vocal and physical aggression. Makes me sick

alicedurrant Report

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#56

Telling kids they can be anything they want.

Your 5’6” kid at 17 will not be drafted for the NBA.

Your kid made a C in bio 1 and had to retake chem 1 twice, they’re not going to get into medical school.

Your kid plays video games all day, have mountains of soda cans piled up in his room, and wears the same shirt 3 days in a row. They’re not going to be the CEO of a Fortune 500 company.

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18points

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#57

Leaving them to scream themselves to sleep.

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#58

Looking through the comments I now realize that this is actually a bad parenting trend and I never knew.

My parents are unnecessarily hard and strict on me, especially in school. For example, me report card came in recently and they were microanalysing everything. I asked my teachers if my grades were good and they said that my grades were actually way above average and some slightly lower grades are expected (we use the 1-2-3 system), but my parents yelled at me and punished me because my grades weren’t perfect (all 3’s and 4’s [4’s are basically extra credit])

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16points

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#59

Unrestricted screen time. Even worse is unrestricted internet access. There is a 7 year old on our street with their own iPhone. I can’t imagine the s**t that kid must encounter.

clocks212 Report

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16points

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#60

Herbal drugs like valerian root, cannabinoids psychoactive or non, kava, kratom etc instead of Dr. Prescription.

Melatonin

Ryandubyah Report

Final score:

12points

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What do you think ?

Øptimist 1 year ago

Saying you'll love your child unconditionally but once they come out as gay, bi, trans, etc etc. you kick them out or something, it just baffles me that parents will be like that! if I EVER have children (probably won't) I'll support them unconditionally if they're part of the LGBTQ+

14points

lauralett50 1 year ago

That makes my heart hurt for you. Sending hugs to you.

1point

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pug nose curly tail Premium 1 year ago

Signing kids up for every single extra curricular activity available so you can post their pics on social media and brag about them while patting yourself on the back for being the "best parent in the world". No you're not. We know what you're doing and it sucks.

6points

oboe lover (he/they <3) 1 year ago

discipline is neccecary, punishment is not imo

4points

Bob La Capra 1 year ago

Many of these are essentially the same.

madamjoiedumort 1 year ago

Being friends with your kid instead of punishment as needed. This is why we have people refusing to work --theyve been taught that whining gets you what you want.

Lara M 1 year ago

Or they've been taught that they don't need to put up with abusive work conditions?

2points

Monica Pryts 1 year ago

#40: We trust our kids. We don't trust the people they might encounter.

0points

Meami 1 year ago

Not having consequences for misbehaving or bad choices. It does not teach them how to function in the real world. Also, not teaching them about unforeseen consequences. If your speeding you may get a ticket is the foreseen consequence. Hitting a pedestrian is the unforeseen consequence.

Kate Jones 1 year ago (edited)

I would add to this putting whatever mental issues you have onto your children. Stop putting them into pageants, forcing them to be part of the family vlog, or trying to make them actors so you can live vicariously through them. Stop blurring the lines between your success and their success and treat them like disappointments if they don't produce results that you can brag about to others as if you did it. Your children shouldn't be a part of your revenue stream and you shouldn't think of them as cash cows or some kind of second chance. Related to that- some single mother's treat their sons almost like their husbands. It comes off as very inappropriate and they can also treat any woman that comes into his life horribly as if he's cheating on you. Men do a different version of this. You ever see those guys who have 'marriage' ceremonies with their daughters to keep them pure? Yeah that's is bat-sh!t crazy. And it all stems from this weird way people inflict their own baggage onto their kids. Stop that.

The Drowning Gorilla 1 year ago (edited)

Not letting them go to school as a "protest." Why should you be punishing kids for something a school district did out of concern for safety?

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