29 Times Kids Didn’t Win The Name Lottery, As Pointed Out By Members Of This Online Group

Pilot Inspektor, Moon Unit, North West, Apple, Audio Science, Sage Moonblood – turns out, some folks can get pretty creative when it comes to their children's names!

Well, you're in luck because today, Bored Panda took this viral Reddit thread and compiled a list of the best "worst" names a kid can have. We hope you'll enjoy the article, and don't hesitate to add the quirkiest monikers you've encountered in the comment section below.

More info: Reddit

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29 Times Kids Didn’t Win The Name Lottery, As Pointed Out By Members Of This Online Group X Æ A-12

Musk is a cruel bastard. There are other really terrible names, but that has to be the most idiotic.

nitestar95 , thierry ehrmann Report

Final score:

250points

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Hugh Cookson 11 months ago

This comment has been deleted.

135points

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29 Times Kids Didn’t Win The Name Lottery, As Pointed Out By Members Of This Online Group Came across someone in a park once (England, nowhere weird) who was yelling 'Excalibur!'. Thought it was a dog, nope, it was a lad.

HenryFromYorkshire , Fibonacci Blue Report

Final score:

180points

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James016 11 months ago

I worked with a Lancelot and I used to know someone called Merlin

66points

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29 Times Kids Didn’t Win The Name Lottery, As Pointed Out By Members Of This Online Group My coworker named her baby "Strawberry Rain", which would be a great name if she had given birth to a bottle of shampoo.

ReinaPaz , Themeisle Report

Final score:

174points

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Sheena 11 months ago

No but if there was a shampoo called Strawberry Rain I would 100% buy it

73points

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29 Times Kids Didn’t Win The Name Lottery, As Pointed Out By Members Of This Online Group Nevaeh…just f**k off.

Slow_Beginning_1775 , CL0UDYDAY Report

Final score:

164points

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Zoe Vokes 11 months ago

This seems to be quite common. I’ve seen lots of internet stories with a Nevaeh. I guess lots of parents think it’s special or unique to write a word backwards and then use it as a name.

16points

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29 Times Kids Didn’t Win The Name Lottery, As Pointed Out By Members Of This Online Group We just hired a guy whose first, middle, and last name is the same, but spelled 3 different ways lol I don’t want to actually say his name on the off chance by some miracle he sees this or it gets back to him, but I think it’s terrible. Like if your parents named you Shaun Sean Shawn lol

anon , Dennis Matheson Report

Final score:

150points

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Tucker Cahooter 11 months ago

Or worse, all the same spelling, like the character "Major Major Major" in the novel Catch-22

65points

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29 Times Kids Didn’t Win The Name Lottery, As Pointed Out By Members Of This Online Group North West 🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦

anon , Colin Zhu Report

Final score:

145points

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Multa Nocte 11 months ago

As if the child doesn't have enough issues already with her crazy family.

87points

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29 Times Kids Didn’t Win The Name Lottery, As Pointed Out By Members Of This Online Group Kashmonay. Woman with this first name was arrested for stealing $170,000 worth of merchandise from Ulta.

dabbad525 , Andrea Piacquadio Report

Final score:

140points

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Luke Branwen 11 months ago

That wasn't very Kashmonay of her.

73points

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29 Times Kids Didn’t Win The Name Lottery, As Pointed Out By Members Of This Online Group I worked in admissions as a tour guide in college. When we didn’t have tours during our shift we stuffed envelopes. I’ll always remember Sylver Blades and Mystic Powers receiving mailings.

_JPH_ , Bart Everson Report

Final score:

131points

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Captain McSmoot 11 months ago

They will have a smashing career as strippers or porn stars.

47points

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29 Times Kids Didn’t Win The Name Lottery, As Pointed Out By Members Of This Online Group I knew a guy who always wanted be called AJ in school. His legal name was Adolf.

blitzer1069 , Amanda Slater Report

Final score:

126points

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Nichole Harris 11 months ago

Look.... The name Adolf has been around for a long time.... Probably the moniker of many a good man.... Why we letting one dude screw it up

73points

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#10

29 Times Kids Didn’t Win The Name Lottery, As Pointed Out By Members Of This Online Group I met a kid named Qua’Duffius when I was in middle school. He said it was pronounced Kwa-doof-ee-us. Worst one I’ve seen in person.

RazzmatazzFluid4198 , Marie Report

Final score:

123points

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Hey! 11 months ago

Sometimes I'm wondering if it's cultural.

29points

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#11

29 Times Kids Didn’t Win The Name Lottery, As Pointed Out By Members Of This Online Group I'ma throw the twins in my school name Easton and Weston under the bus here.

Tellgraith , Andrea Piacquadio Report

Final score:

123points

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Jorie 11 months ago

I ran across brother and sister clients named Westelle and Estelle. Laughed till I damn near fell off my chair.

51points

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#12

29 Times Kids Didn’t Win The Name Lottery, As Pointed Out By Members Of This Online Group Pubert

eli_scrubs , Vanessa Report

Final score:

122points

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Captain McSmoot 11 months ago

66points

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#13

29 Times Kids Didn’t Win The Name Lottery, As Pointed Out By Members Of This Online Group Met a girl named Jennifert in college...Jennifer with a T. Why? Because her parents wanted her to be different.

exoticconstable , Tima Miroshnichenko Report

Final score:

110points

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Luke Branwen 11 months ago

I just KNOW she was called "Jennifart" by the bullies.

182points

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#14

29 Times Kids Didn’t Win The Name Lottery, As Pointed Out By Members Of This Online Group I've twice tried to post this on the tragedeigh Facebook group and haven't been approved because they think I'm bulls***tting, but I have had confirmation on this from several people who lived in my city at the time of this.

My mom taught at a school in the 80s where there was 2 siblings, one named Hallelujahthemessiahiscoming, and Repentorburnforever.

I thought my mom was BSing for years until my coworker told me my mom was a teacher at her school when she was a student in the 80s.i asked my coworker about this, and she said yes, she was a little older than those kids but remembered them because they were in swimming classes at the local pool she was a lifeguard at. She told me her younger brother knew them and said at least one of them got into [illegal substances] later.

musicmaj , Alexy Almond Report

Final score:

108points

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Hey! 11 months ago

That's a load to put on a poor child.

69points

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#15

29 Times Kids Didn’t Win The Name Lottery, As Pointed Out By Members Of This Online Group We met a kid at the playground the other day named Skillet

cmoreglass79 , anoldent Report

Final score:

94points

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Nichole Harris 11 months ago

I'm a skillet fan and I don't approve

39points

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#16

29 Times Kids Didn’t Win The Name Lottery, As Pointed Out By Members Of This Online Group I swear if I see one more kid named Khaleesi 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

trippydragonfly , MelkiaD Report

Final score:

93points

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Little Bi Guy 11 months ago

To someone who doesn't know I can imagine hearing this and being like, that's such a pretty name. Then their gonna meet a GOT fan and just be wrecked.

30points

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#17

29 Times Kids Didn’t Win The Name Lottery, As Pointed Out By Members Of This Online Group Blanket

The_ManBehind169 , moon angel Report

Final score:

87points

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James016 11 months ago

If this is in reference to Michael Jackson’s kid then just remember that Blanket is a nickname, not his actual name. It is Prince Michael Jackson II

56points

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#18

29 Times Kids Didn’t Win The Name Lottery, As Pointed Out By Members Of This Online Group Derf

Not joking. Was working security in MN and a trucker came in to sign in. As he's writing his name, I glanced at his name. 'Derf'. I felt bad for his childhood.

Von2014 , Stephen Woods Report

Final score:

86points

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to old to care 11 months ago

My uncles name is Fred but most of his life he was called Derf. (true story)

38points

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#19

29 Times Kids Didn’t Win The Name Lottery, As Pointed Out By Members Of This Online Group Being a boy named sue

metallumberjack , 100 files Report

Final score:

81points

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jai putman 11 months ago

Turned out ok for Johnny Cash

72points

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#20

29 Times Kids Didn’t Win The Name Lottery, As Pointed Out By Members Of This Online Group Gaylord

FNFALC2 , Ted Eytan Report

Final score:

79points

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Lydsylou 11 months ago

This name did not age well. Gay used to mean happy and when it did that's a sort of nice name. I mean I still wouldn't pick it wether it means happy or I want to f**k someone of my gender

49points

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#27

29 Times Kids Didn’t Win The Name Lottery, As Pointed Out By Members Of This Online Group Innocent

Medici_intelligence , Nenad Stojkovic Report

Final score:

47points

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Janine Smith 11 months ago

Many names have cultural backgrounds or significance like Innocent, Brilliant,Given etc. Specifically in African countries

44points

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#28

29 Times Kids Didn’t Win The Name Lottery, As Pointed Out By Members Of This Online Group naming a girl konan lol

LogicalProperty5449 , Insights Unspoken Report

Final score:

47points

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Luke Branwen 11 months ago

It's been a while since I've seen it, but wasn't there a woman named Konan in Naruto?

15points

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#29

29 Times Kids Didn’t Win The Name Lottery, As Pointed Out By Members Of This Online Group Aiden or any variation. Not because of the name itself but any teacher can tell you students with that name are 99% behavioral issues.

FlipRoot , Corey Leopold Report

Final score:

15points

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Hugh Cookson 11 months ago

You've never been to Ireland ..... many, many Aiden's there who are delightful, law abiding, funny and hospitable people including at least 4 generations of a friend of mine, funnily enough, called Aiden.

65points

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What do you think ?

MakeupMama68 11 months ago (edited)

My daughter has a friend named Lavanderia. I asked her mom how she came up with that name and she said it means lavender in Spanish. 🤦🏻‍♀️. Honey… no. It means laundromat.

37points

OMG. LMAO.

8points

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LilliVB 11 months ago

In Italian too. 🤣🤣🤣

4points

Jayjay 11 months ago

lavender-l...fa-png.jpg

2points

Jaya 11 months ago

Sounds pretty though, it would be a nice name if it did mean lavender.

1point

LakotaWolf (she/her) 11 months ago (edited)

I got teased as a kid in the 80s/90s for my name. It's Crystal. That's literally banal now compared to some modern names XD The point is, kids will tease and mock other kids for ANYTHING, but don't make it worse by saddling them with something like "Abcde" or "Khaleesi". Incidentally, I was named after a chandelier (not joking), so my name is spelled the basic way one would spell the noun "crystal". The number of times I'd tell someone my name was "Crystal" and then have them write/spell it with a K or an I or H or a combination of all three... whew XD

14points

Mila Preradović 11 months ago

Krystle Carrington ruined it for all you normies 😅 it's still the first person I think of when I hear that name. Also Alexis🤭

7points

The first and only time I met a Crystal was ~50 years ago. She was 5 and I was 8. She lived on our street and I just happened to walk to the bus with her a few times. I thought it was a pretty name and told her. Yep, she got bullied because of her name. I don't understand. I got bullied because of my family name. For Pete's sake, is it really our fault???

Ansi 11 months ago

All I think about is crystal meth. 😲

0points

Jeff Jacobson 11 months ago

Hey fellow Crystal ❤️ 89 baby here

NotACookieCutter 11 months ago

My friend “Crystal Bell” loves her name. She gives it a ringing endorsement.

Two_rolling_black_eyes 11 months ago

I used to work in healthcare and had a patient named Evel Pickle. Last name was family name (met other Pickles) and first name was after the stuntman Evel Kenievel.

6points

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29 Times Kids Didn’t Win The Name Lottery, As Pointed Out By Members Of This Online Group

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