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29 Times Kids Didn’t Win The Name Lottery, As Pointed Out By Members Of This Online Group

Pilot Inspektor, Moon Unit, North West, Apple, Audio Science, Sage Moonblood – turns out, some folks can get pretty creative when it comes to their children's names!

Well, you're in luck because today, Bored Panda took this viral Reddit thread and compiled a list of the best "worst" names a kid can have. We hope you'll enjoy the article, and don't hesitate to add the quirkiest monikers you've encountered in the comment section below.

More info: Reddit

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29 Times Kids Didn’t Win The Name Lottery, As Pointed Out By Members Of This Online Group X Æ A-12

Musk is a cruel bastard. There are other really terrible names, but that has to be the most idiotic.

nitestar95 , thierry ehrmann Report

Final score:

250points

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29 Times Kids Didn’t Win The Name Lottery, As Pointed Out By Members Of This Online Group Came across someone in a park once (England, nowhere weird) who was yelling 'Excalibur!'. Thought it was a dog, nope, it was a lad.

HenryFromYorkshire , Fibonacci Blue Report

Final score:

180points

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29 Times Kids Didn’t Win The Name Lottery, As Pointed Out By Members Of This Online Group My coworker named her baby "Strawberry Rain", which would be a great name if she had given birth to a bottle of shampoo.

ReinaPaz , Themeisle Report

Final score:

174points

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29 Times Kids Didn’t Win The Name Lottery, As Pointed Out By Members Of This Online Group Nevaeh…just f**k off.

Slow_Beginning_1775 , CL0UDYDAY Report

Final score:

164points

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29 Times Kids Didn’t Win The Name Lottery, As Pointed Out By Members Of This Online Group We just hired a guy whose first, middle, and last name is the same, but spelled 3 different ways lol I don’t want to actually say his name on the off chance by some miracle he sees this or it gets back to him, but I think it’s terrible. Like if your parents named you Shaun Sean Shawn lol

anon , Dennis Matheson Report

Final score:

150points

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29 Times Kids Didn’t Win The Name Lottery, As Pointed Out By Members Of This Online Group North West 🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦

anon , Colin Zhu Report

Final score:

145points

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29 Times Kids Didn’t Win The Name Lottery, As Pointed Out By Members Of This Online Group Kashmonay. Woman with this first name was arrested for stealing $170,000 worth of merchandise from Ulta.

dabbad525 , Andrea Piacquadio Report

Final score:

140points

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29 Times Kids Didn’t Win The Name Lottery, As Pointed Out By Members Of This Online Group I worked in admissions as a tour guide in college. When we didn’t have tours during our shift we stuffed envelopes. I’ll always remember Sylver Blades and Mystic Powers receiving mailings.

_JPH_ , Bart Everson Report

Final score:

131points

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29 Times Kids Didn’t Win The Name Lottery, As Pointed Out By Members Of This Online Group I knew a guy who always wanted be called AJ in school. His legal name was Adolf.

blitzer1069 , Amanda Slater Report

Final score:

126points

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#10

29 Times Kids Didn’t Win The Name Lottery, As Pointed Out By Members Of This Online Group I met a kid named Qua’Duffius when I was in middle school. He said it was pronounced Kwa-doof-ee-us. Worst one I’ve seen in person.

RazzmatazzFluid4198 , Marie Report

Final score:

123points

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#11

29 Times Kids Didn’t Win The Name Lottery, As Pointed Out By Members Of This Online Group I'ma throw the twins in my school name Easton and Weston under the bus here.

Tellgraith , Andrea Piacquadio Report

Final score:

123points

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#12

29 Times Kids Didn’t Win The Name Lottery, As Pointed Out By Members Of This Online Group Pubert

eli_scrubs , Vanessa Report

Final score:

122points

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#13

29 Times Kids Didn’t Win The Name Lottery, As Pointed Out By Members Of This Online Group Met a girl named Jennifert in college...Jennifer with a T. Why? Because her parents wanted her to be different.

exoticconstable , Tima Miroshnichenko Report

Final score:

110points

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#14

29 Times Kids Didn’t Win The Name Lottery, As Pointed Out By Members Of This Online Group I've twice tried to post this on the tragedeigh Facebook group and haven't been approved because they think I'm bulls***tting, but I have had confirmation on this from several people who lived in my city at the time of this.

My mom taught at a school in the 80s where there was 2 siblings, one named Hallelujahthemessiahiscoming, and Repentorburnforever.

I thought my mom was BSing for years until my coworker told me my mom was a teacher at her school when she was a student in the 80s.i asked my coworker about this, and she said yes, she was a little older than those kids but remembered them because they were in swimming classes at the local pool she was a lifeguard at. She told me her younger brother knew them and said at least one of them got into [illegal substances] later.

musicmaj , Alexy Almond Report

Final score:

108points

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#15

29 Times Kids Didn’t Win The Name Lottery, As Pointed Out By Members Of This Online Group We met a kid at the playground the other day named Skillet

cmoreglass79 , anoldent Report

Final score:

94points

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#16

29 Times Kids Didn’t Win The Name Lottery, As Pointed Out By Members Of This Online Group I swear if I see one more kid named Khaleesi 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

trippydragonfly , MelkiaD Report

Final score:

93points

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#17

29 Times Kids Didn’t Win The Name Lottery, As Pointed Out By Members Of This Online Group Blanket

The_ManBehind169 , moon angel Report

Final score:

87points

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#18

29 Times Kids Didn’t Win The Name Lottery, As Pointed Out By Members Of This Online Group Derf

Not joking. Was working security in MN and a trucker came in to sign in. As he's writing his name, I glanced at his name. 'Derf'. I felt bad for his childhood.

Von2014 , Stephen Woods Report

Final score:

86points

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#19

29 Times Kids Didn’t Win The Name Lottery, As Pointed Out By Members Of This Online Group Being a boy named sue

metallumberjack , 100 files Report

Final score:

81points

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#20

29 Times Kids Didn’t Win The Name Lottery, As Pointed Out By Members Of This Online Group Gaylord

FNFALC2 , Ted Eytan Report

Final score:

79points

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Darja is a Content Creator at Bored Panda. She studied at the University of Westminster, where she got her Bachelor's degree in Contemporary Media Practice. She loves photography, foreign music and re-watching Forrest Gump.

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What do you think ?

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MakeupMama68 1 year ago (edited)

My daughter has a friend named Lavanderia. I asked her mom how she came up with that name and she said it means lavender in Spanish. 🤦🏻‍♀️. Honey… no. It means laundromat.

37points

Hey! 1 year ago

OMG. LMAO.

8points

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LilliVB 1 year ago

In Italian too. 🤣🤣🤣

4points

Jayjay 1 year ago

lavender-l...fa-png.jpg

2points

Jaya 1 year ago

Sounds pretty though, it would be a nice name if it did mean lavender.

1point

LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 year ago (edited)

I got teased as a kid in the 80s/90s for my name. It's Crystal. That's literally banal now compared to some modern names XD The point is, kids will tease and mock other kids for ANYTHING, but don't make it worse by saddling them with something like "Abcde" or "Khaleesi". Incidentally, I was named after a chandelier (not joking), so my name is spelled the basic way one would spell the noun "crystal". The number of times I'd tell someone my name was "Crystal" and then have them write/spell it with a K or an I or H or a combination of all three... whew XD

14points

Mila Preradović 1 year ago

Krystle Carrington ruined it for all you normies 😅 it's still the first person I think of when I hear that name. Also Alexis🤭

7points

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Hey! 1 year ago

The first and only time I met a Crystal was ~50 years ago. She was 5 and I was 8. She lived on our street and I just happened to walk to the bus with her a few times. I thought it was a pretty name and told her. Yep, she got bullied because of her name. I don't understand. I got bullied because of my family name. For Pete's sake, is it really our fault???

4points

Ansi 1 year ago

All I think about is crystal meth. 😲

0points

Jeff Jacobson 1 year ago

Hey fellow Crystal ❤️ 89 baby here

0points

NotACookieCutter 1 year ago

My friend “Crystal Bell” loves her name. She gives it a ringing endorsement.

0points

Two_rolling_black_eyes 1 year ago

I used to work in healthcare and had a patient named Evel Pickle. Last name was family name (met other Pickles) and first name was after the stuntman Evel Kenievel.

6points

3Hs 1 year ago

CHANGE YOUR NAME! It is NOT a big expensive hairy deal! You can even DIY (I did) by printing out the order for the judge to sign at many online sites. Then go to the courthouse anf get on the docket! I did it muself in the 80s and it cost me all of 50 in court costs. Then take your court order to Social Security for a new card, then head to your DMV. There is a space for "changes" on the back of utility and credit card bills. (DO NOT buy the "name change kits" soold online and marketed to brides at JP offices - gimmick!) I was adopted and my adopters changed my name, despite my objections, to something I loathed. I changed it on my 18th birthday. You DON'T have to live with a crapoy name.

5points

I’mSoEmotional 1 year ago

You don’t have to live with a name you don’t like, but you have to remember to answer to it and that’s why my attempt at change didn’t work.

0points

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Cassie 1 year ago

I was teased as a Cassie, but I don't think that's all that unusual. The oddest I encountered growing up was a very European white family with kids all named after wild animals. I was friends with Wolf, Bear, and Hawk. I thought their names were pretty cool.

4points

Mila Preradović 1 year ago

Vuk (wolf) is common and nice name in Serbia. In Croatia it is rather common name Lav (lion). Also some fruit and tree names are normal (cherry, quince, fir, birch...)

0points

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Darius S. (he/him) cis/grey 1 year ago

my parents thought it'd be funny to give me the middle name of Alexander. basically my middle name killed* my first name . ...* i know he didn't actually but in war

4points

Hey! 1 year ago

I'm not sure if I met her before, but the first time I remember meeting my grandmother and some of my mother's siblings, I asked one uncle what is last name was. "You mean to tell me your name is Blaise Blais?!?" "Yes" "Who named you like that?" "Me. I named him like that" my GM said. So, I started a rant right in front of her (I was probably 6-7 y.o.), walking to-and-fro in front of them. My uncle was laughing, my GM was shocked, and my mother told me repeatedly to shut up. I was just explaining that if she thought about it, she would have known her kid would have been the victim of bullying and finished with "What else did you do???". LOL. I was right, though.

4points

Urbangirlatl 1 year ago

There are some countries that have veto over ridiculous names. F9lks, you are naming HUMAN BEINGS, not babies.

3points

John Bulatowicz 1 year ago

Knew a man named cocaine

3points

arthbach 1 year ago

I was in school with 'Heather Bell' and 'Beverley Hill'. Heather was in my class, as was Beverley Hill's elder sister.

3points

EasyBreezyCataneze 1 year ago

I met one 'Latrina' once. Not Spanish or Mexican or from a culture that may have a different meaning. A white American woman. I suppose Katrina was just too common for her parents. But jumping further than L was too much work

2points

Cyril Sneer 1 year ago

I used to know someone we all knew as Gift. I found out later that her actual name was God's Gift

2points

Melissa Gàrza 1 year ago

My grandmother was named Pleasant. Her brothers were Utah, Nevada and Arizona. Their last name was Smith.

2points

Papa 1 year ago

It was before my time, but I remember my father talking about a local couple who had all girls. They named the last two Ada and Nina. When asked the husband would say "We ran out of names so we started numbering them."

2points

ImaPerson 1 year ago

Virtue names are the worst! Faith, Hope, Patience, I knew a Love, Chastity, Charity, etc. Treasure isn't a virtue name but it is still bad.

2points

Mila Preradović 1 year ago (edited)

Come to think of it, my language is pretty wild here.... Vjera (Faith), Nada (Hope), Blagica (Treasure), Slava (Glory), Ljupka (Lovely)...even my name, it means Darling :D :D

0points

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Kirsten Kerkhof 1 year ago

Years and years ago I spent a summer working in the office of an American summer camp. There was this kid called Karel, and I just could not find the file. Now where I live Karel is a male name exclusively, but in this case it was a creative version of Carol. That took me way too long to realise ...

2points

Joe Publique 1 year ago

Ahmiracle, I’munique, Reighleigh, Phelonee, Yuniqie, Aliviyah, Kinglsley, Randy, Chad, Blake, Leighton, Madison, Hunter, Addison, Peyton, Summer, Crystal, Kennedy, Brody, Blake, Jayden, Logan, Mason, Trent, Paisleigh, Ashleigh, Everleigh, Kynzlee, Braxton, Chet, Chase, Raddix, Taylor, Clayton, Brock, Travis, and the all time winner……Reighfyl.

1point

Corinne Wheeler 1 year ago

There are two children in my town called Ecuador and Orchestra. Also a little girl called Temperance. Used to know a young woman called Antigone.

1point

Momo Skarsgård 1 year ago

I know a Spider Tarantula, just remembered that one. We worked at Amazon together.

1point

Ansi 1 year ago

Cewin instead of Kevin. It was popular in my country a few years back, but I never ser it on lists like this. Is it to ordinary but I don't know it? Seriously asking.

1point

Bridgett Haney 1 year ago

I would be on this list if I had kids...or even with my spelling of my name! (Mom told dad either One T, or TTE, and you see what I got. Anyways, if I had kids, I really love Ryleigh Rayne ( I know I'm sorry)

1point

Giraffy Window 1 year ago

My partner has a human cousin named Peanut.

1point

JayWantsACat 1 year ago

There's a former NFL player named Malcolm. His mom let his brother choose his name. What's his brother's name? Malcolm. lmao

1point

Rens 1 year ago

My cousin named his son Aniken, as in Skywalker...

1point

JessieJ&LilyLovebug 1 year ago

A long time ago had a couple of customers that were "recovering" meth addicts, and they had three kids with wild names, more suited to pets. I think one was Fluffy, and another was Snowball...can't remember the third one...I hope those kids turned out okay, despite their upbringing.

1point

3 Trash Pandas (She/They) 1 year ago

I know a girl named Tieranni (pronounced Tyranny) and a Destanni (Destiny) as well a sisters named Savanna and Sahara. Lucky all of these girl are very wonderful people with unfortunate names. On the other side of less nice people I know a Corrello and a Creighton.

1point

Momo Skarsgård 1 year ago

Savanna and Sahara aren't that bad. The other two are a lil cringey.

1point

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Chich 1 year ago

Worked with Anita D**k once. Why would her parents even think of giving her that name.

1point

Darius S. (he/him) cis/grey 1 year ago

Family member taught kids of pharmacist. i only remember Codeine .

1point

Trisec Tebeakesse 1 year ago

Queequeg.

1point

ImaPerson 1 year ago

Moby D**k reference?

1point

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The Doom Song 1 year ago

I know someone who named their kids Rockett and Note.

1point

David Paterson 1 year ago

Talia is a common Italian surname. I know a Jenny Talia. Another has surname Bird. Full name Jenny Isobel Bird. I refuse to tell you the unique name I gave my daughter, just comment that my daughter is now my son.

1point

Jude Laskowski 1 year ago

Your daughter is now your son? Your DNA does not change.

0points

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Brainmas 1 year ago

Schwan, Lordy, and Coyote are probably the worst I've personally come across. People also should stop naming their kids Obi.

1point

Marvin HeartofGold (she/them) 1 year ago

I used to with with someone who's brother was named Bubba. Not a nickname, his actual name. We're not even from Arkansas!

0points

Patrick Worley 1 year ago

In grade school there were sisters, Vida, Verla and Lanay. I taught a student named La Trina, and La-a(LaDasha).

0points

Racing Tadpole 1 year ago

Tuesday is cute for a girl but not sure why her parents called her that....like Wednesday from the Adams family maybe???

0points

Erin Miller 1 year ago

At Starbucks the other day, I told them my name was Erin and my cup came back with "Airolym" written on it if anyone is looking for a "unique" spelling for that.

0points

Daniel Atkins 1 year ago

My favorite was Sierra Mist. This was after the lemon lime flavored soda came out. Thankfully for this person they changed the soda’s name to Starry.

0points

Sammy2Shoes 1 year ago

I went to elementary school with boy/girl set of twins with the last name of Light. Their first names were Bud & Crystal. I also knew a woman whose name is Patience, & her sisters are Promise & Prudence which are great names but also a lot of pressure for young girls to live up to 😆

0points

Fred L. 1 year ago

Good old Decimus et Ultimus is always happy to find new company.

0points

POST

MakeupMama68 1 year ago (edited)

My daughter has a friend named Lavanderia. I asked her mom how she came up with that name and she said it means lavender in Spanish. 🤦🏻‍♀️. Honey… no. It means laundromat.

37points

Hey! 1 year ago

OMG. LMAO.

8points

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LilliVB 1 year ago

In Italian too. 🤣🤣🤣

4points

Jayjay 1 year ago

lavender-l...fa-png.jpg

2points

Jaya 1 year ago

Sounds pretty though, it would be a nice name if it did mean lavender.

1point

LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 year ago (edited)

14points

Mila Preradović 1 year ago

Krystle Carrington ruined it for all you normies 😅 it's still the first person I think of when I hear that name. Also Alexis🤭

7points

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Hey! 1 year ago

4points

Ansi 1 year ago

All I think about is crystal meth. 😲

0points

Jeff Jacobson 1 year ago

Hey fellow Crystal ❤️ 89 baby here

0points

NotACookieCutter 1 year ago

My friend “Crystal Bell” loves her name. She gives it a ringing endorsement.

0points

Two_rolling_black_eyes 1 year ago

I used to work in healthcare and had a patient named Evel Pickle. Last name was family name (met other Pickles) and first name was after the stuntman Evel Kenievel.

6points

3Hs 1 year ago

5points

I’mSoEmotional 1 year ago

You don’t have to live with a name you don’t like, but you have to remember to answer to it and that’s why my attempt at change didn’t work.

0points

Load More Replies...

Cassie 1 year ago

4points

Mila Preradović 1 year ago

Vuk (wolf) is common and nice name in Serbia. In Croatia it is rather common name Lav (lion). Also some fruit and tree names are normal (cherry, quince, fir, birch...)

0points

Load More Replies...

Darius S. (he/him) cis/grey 1 year ago

my parents thought it'd be funny to give me the middle name of Alexander. basically my middle name killed* my first name . ...* i know he didn't actually but in war

4points

Hey! 1 year ago

4points

Urbangirlatl 1 year ago

There are some countries that have veto over ridiculous names. F9lks, you are naming HUMAN BEINGS, not babies.

3points

John Bulatowicz 1 year ago

Knew a man named cocaine

3points

arthbach 1 year ago

I was in school with 'Heather Bell' and 'Beverley Hill'. Heather was in my class, as was Beverley Hill's elder sister.

3points

EasyBreezyCataneze 1 year ago

2points

Cyril Sneer 1 year ago

I used to know someone we all knew as Gift. I found out later that her actual name was God's Gift

2points

Melissa Gàrza 1 year ago

My grandmother was named Pleasant. Her brothers were Utah, Nevada and Arizona. Their last name was Smith.

2points

Papa 1 year ago

2points

ImaPerson 1 year ago

Virtue names are the worst! Faith, Hope, Patience, I knew a Love, Chastity, Charity, etc. Treasure isn't a virtue name but it is still bad.

2points

Mila Preradović 1 year ago (edited)

Come to think of it, my language is pretty wild here.... Vjera (Faith), Nada (Hope), Blagica (Treasure), Slava (Glory), Ljupka (Lovely)...even my name, it means Darling :D :D

0points

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Kirsten Kerkhof 1 year ago

2points

Joe Publique 1 year ago

1point

Corinne Wheeler 1 year ago

There are two children in my town called Ecuador and Orchestra. Also a little girl called Temperance. Used to know a young woman called Antigone.

1point

Momo Skarsgård 1 year ago

I know a Spider Tarantula, just remembered that one. We worked at Amazon together.

1point

Ansi 1 year ago

Cewin instead of Kevin. It was popular in my country a few years back, but I never ser it on lists like this. Is it to ordinary but I don't know it? Seriously asking.

1point

Bridgett Haney 1 year ago

1point

Giraffy Window 1 year ago

My partner has a human cousin named Peanut.

1point

JayWantsACat 1 year ago

There's a former NFL player named Malcolm. His mom let his brother choose his name. What's his brother's name? Malcolm. lmao

1point

Rens 1 year ago

My cousin named his son Aniken, as in Skywalker...

1point

JessieJ&LilyLovebug 1 year ago

1point

3 Trash Pandas (She/They) 1 year ago

1point

Momo Skarsgård 1 year ago

Savanna and Sahara aren't that bad. The other two are a lil cringey.

1point

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Chich 1 year ago

Worked with Anita D**k once. Why would her parents even think of giving her that name.

1point

Darius S. (he/him) cis/grey 1 year ago

Family member taught kids of pharmacist. i only remember Codeine .

1point

Trisec Tebeakesse 1 year ago

Queequeg.

1point

ImaPerson 1 year ago

Moby D**k reference?

1point

Load More Replies...

The Doom Song 1 year ago

I know someone who named their kids Rockett and Note.

1point

David Paterson 1 year ago

1point

Jude Laskowski 1 year ago

Your daughter is now your son? Your DNA does not change.

0points

Load More Replies...

Brainmas 1 year ago

Schwan, Lordy, and Coyote are probably the worst I've personally come across. People also should stop naming their kids Obi.

1point

Marvin HeartofGold (she/them) 1 year ago

I used to with with someone who's brother was named Bubba. Not a nickname, his actual name. We're not even from Arkansas!

0points

Patrick Worley 1 year ago

In grade school there were sisters, Vida, Verla and Lanay. I taught a student named La Trina, and La-a(LaDasha).

0points

Racing Tadpole 1 year ago

Tuesday is cute for a girl but not sure why her parents called her that....like Wednesday from the Adams family maybe???

0points

Erin Miller 1 year ago

At Starbucks the other day, I told them my name was Erin and my cup came back with "Airolym" written on it if anyone is looking for a "unique" spelling for that.

0points