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We all learnt from an early age that the world is an unfair place. But hundreds of Judge Judy episodes and thousands of AskReddit threads later, many of us surely feel like armchair lawyers ready to fight for what they feel is right.

The problem is that these bootleg law officers have more legal advice to give than anyone could have ever asked for. From sharing uninvited legal advice to posting fake legal news, there’s a whole law and order waiting on the other sides of the screens.

But there’s one account that’s ready to bust ‘em all, and it’s called “Bad Legal Takes.” With 181.5k followers, the page is dedicated to posting the worst legal takes on Twitter and some of them are more than cringy. So get your judge’s robe from the dry cleaners, everyone, we’re about to feast on some delusional drama.

#1

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John L
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Actually free speech has nothing to do with it. That applies to the government, not using a private company's app.

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Kathryn Baylis
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not to mention being questioned while sitting across a table from two officers—-one on the left and the other on the right. I mean how far to the right do they mean?

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Ozacoter
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hate when people think that looking away means lying. I can’t stand looking at people’s eyes so I often look away. My partner said many times that I was lying because of that. It makes me very self concious

V Martinez
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Totally agree! I struggle with eye contact. Not sure if it's self conscious or what, just have been that way all my life. I practice and have gotten better, but it's still a thing for me. I've always thought that it's bogus to say someone was lying. And there are many people who will look you straight in the eye and lie also! My kid has done that. But of course, they must be telling the truth since they are keeping eye contact. Yeah right!

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Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know this for a fact, I have noticed a few times that I have looked left whilst being 1000% honest and then freaking out in my head thinking the person probably thinks I am lying coz I looked to the left.

Ren Karlej
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you catch yourself doing in future that just start rolling your eyes round and round - keep 'em guessing. 😀

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WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If prosecutors really get taught this kind of nonsense than it's quite clear why a man stealing some bread because he's hungry gets 15 years in prison and a banker who embezzled $15 million gets probationary 4 hours community service.

Michelle M
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Me with the cops: *looking up and left*. Cops: Let her go. She is telling the truth.

Vic
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Keep switching between looking left and right when talking.. that'll keep them busy for a while..

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Beeps
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Another common one that really upsets me is “people who itch their nose are lying, because their nose is itchy due to the increased blood flow to it as a result of their blood pressure going up as they’re lying.” My nose is often itchy due to allergies and I’d hate to think that people believe I’m lying.

Bob Belcher
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And the man who invented polygraph test says they're trash but people still use them

Leo Domitrix
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am so glad this myth was busted, b/c shy or nervous people can be honest, just shy or nervous!

Fish Boden
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm flabbergasted that anyone ever believed this crap. And the Police use it? Holy s**t.

Jerry Conaway
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is called the "Kenobi Reflex". In Star Wars ANH, when Luke Skywalker asks Obi-Wan Kenobi to explain how his father died, Kenobi looks to the left, then down, then back up and tells Luke that Darth Vader killed his father. In truth, Obi-Wan carved Luke's father up and left him to die next to a river of lava. The interesting thing is that when this scene was filmed, it was not yet written what had happened to Luke's father, or if there would even ever be a sequel to ANH. How Alec Guniess (Obi-Wan) knew to play that scene like that is a fan favorite mystery.

Craig Reynolds
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some people do that as a reflex when they are trying to remember something. Others will close their eyes. It helps them concentrate. How many of you will turn down the radio in your vehicle or tell a passenger to be quiet when you are looking for a street sign or exit?

Paradise
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

LOL I do that ALL THE TIME almost subconsciously because I want to focus on what I say.

StormWolf
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Omg this has been the bane of my life. As a socially anxious person, eye contact is damn near impossible for me, which has caused some psychos to apply this twisted "logic" and (wrongly) accuse me of lying. In reality, boldly staring someone straight in the eye comes easier when I'm trying to bamboozle hehe

Son of Philosoraptor
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's up and to the left. Parents have seen their kids do that for sure 😛

Don't Look
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Absolutely agree to this. I wasn't so sure up until I went to court and then 8 months later went through a deposition.

Eslamala
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Most of the stuff that's used when investigating crime are just junk "science", though. And police around the world still use some/a lot them as standard procedure. "No sign of forced entry, they must've known their attacker" "overkill. must've been personal", "their polygraph results were inconclusive" and stuff of the like have absolutely no scientific basis at all.

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Legal advice from armchair lawyers happens quite often in the online world, where everyone feels like they know things better. But in the real world, being given unwanted advice is also no less annoying. In many cases, it causes stress, offends people, and annoys the hell out of them. So why do people repeatedly give unwanted advice if it's so annoying?

To find out about the psychology behind unwanted advice, Bored Panda talked to clinical psychologist Dr. Vicki Creanor, who focuses on helping people (adults, adolescents, and children) with anxiety, depression, and sleep problems. “First of all, I think it’s important to take into consideration that some people who give us advice are doing so from a good place, a thoughtful place,” Vicki said and added: “So try and recognize those people—even if you disagree with their opinions on the subject.”

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#5

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Samantha Lomb
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Anyone who uses the word "libtard"is telling you what comes next will be crazy/ hateful

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Michelle M
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It is absolutely constitutional to murder. Read Idiot's opinion in BS vs Dumbass

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“However, there are people in life (and we all know someone like this!) who like to assume the role of expert and feel the need to tell you how they would do something, what you should be doing, or what you’re doing wrong. And this gets our back up.”

Much of the time, Vicki believes these situations originate from someone needing to feel superior in some way, “often due to a deep-rooted low self-esteem.” According to the psychologist, “By taking on the role of ‘expert’ and imparting their knowledge, they might feel better about themselves.”

#7

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Monday
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ah yes...hacking. I remember when I accidentally became a hacker after I misclicked and viewed the page source....

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GirlFriday
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Um, this person has never even seen the US Constitution nor the Bill of Rights.

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“So have a think about which type of person you’re dealing with, first of all. Someone who means well? Or someone who is solely aiming to meet their own needs through their expert status.” If it’s the former, Vicki suggests taking a breath, thanking them, and perhaps saying something like, “that’s an interesting idea. I’ll have a think about how best I can approach this.” If it’s the latter type, “the same approach may work, but this person can be more likely to check in with you again to see if you did what they suggested!”

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On the other hand, when you are offered regular unwanted advice by these people, “setting boundaries is really important to help you stay calm, because it can be frustrating,” Vicki said. “Often, if those with low self esteem and a need for being in a superior role are met with an angry stance, they feel threatened and can lash out verbally and emotionally, making the situation worse.”

#14

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I I
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

why do people not understand freedom of speech does NOT = the right to say what ever the fk you like ?

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Here are a couple of statements that may come in handy when handling unwanted advice: “Thanks—I hear what you’re saying and I already have some ideas about how I can work this out”; “Thanks—I will let you know if I need any advice about it in the future, but I have some good options at the moment for how to handle it.”

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“And for when you’re feeling a bit more assertive—or if advice is offered even when there isn’t an issue from your point of view: ‘I appreciate you’re trying to help, but I’m comfortable with what I’m doing just now and it would mean a lot to me if you could respect that.’”

Vicki reminds us that politeness goes a long way. “But boundaries are often required to separate out someone else’s needs from yours,” she adds.

#16

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GirlFriday
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3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No, HIPAA prevents a person with access to medical records from disclosing your medical records to a third party.

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María Hermida
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This idiot can't even write properly. What do you expect of her? Her reasoning and logic must be as unsound as her grammar.

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Samuel
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Recount or revote or redeem or reclaim, I don't care I need my Orange Führer back!!!

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Lauren Caswell
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is sadly a really common thing, be it incel or troll. Anonymity makes a hateful coward feel powerful

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GirlFriday
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! She doesn't even know which country she is throwing a fit about.

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GirlFriday
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Actually, it was a bible, but it was her personal bible. AND there is no law that says a person has to be sworn in on the bible. Franklin Pierce, John Quincy Adams, and Theodore Roosevelt were sworn in without bibles. They raised their right hands and took the oath of office. Johnson used a book that Jackie Kennedy found in John's bedroom on Air Force One. It was a book of missives. Other elected officials have been sworn in on the Koran or the Jewish bible, a few have even used law books.

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GirlFriday
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The First Amendment guarantees that a person won't be prosecuted or persecuted by the government for speech. It doesn't say anything about freedom from consequences. You can't tell your boss to f*ck off and expect to keep your job. You won't go to jail for telling him to f*ck off, but you most likely won't have a job any longer.

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Vic 404
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Okay....... So your countries laws don't apply in private properties ? Let me light up a joint whilst cooking meth. For my private use of course...

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#29

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Smutná_elfka
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Honestly, I am quite impressed that she knows Nuremberg codes. But given that Krispy Kreme is not in a field of medicine nor clinical research, I don't think it applies to them.

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#31

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Lauren Caswell
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If ur on roads built and owned by the state/country then you gotta be registered and pay 🤦‍♀️ you can't select which laws you follow. (There's a 'cops' style show here, police 10-7, and you see this crap so much. And majority that are the most angry and adamant are older, somewhat 'well educated' (ie have money and or white), and convinced they can just drive around not paying rego, not realising they are refusing one tax but paying several others via buying petrol and buying the car 🤦‍♀️ x Argh = Me atm

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Lauren Caswell
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a domestic terrorist. I'd be terrified if I ever found myself anywhere near his domocile

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Michelle M
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"And they do not have the legal authority to do so". I can't believe I share a planet with someone like this

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#37

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Vorknkx
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, it actually IS an ancient pagan holiday, mostly based on Saturnalia (but includes elements of others as well).

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#39

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#40

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WilvanderHeijden
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Should of".... is the common introduction to a lot of certified taurus fertilizer.

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#41

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JuJu
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3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Somewhere sits an army guy with a beer and tells his friends about this total dumbnut that called the other day

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Watching
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Says someone who has literally never read the constitution. Trump brainwashed zombie sheep.

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#46

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La Petite Morte
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3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So I guess the next time my docs do my spinal surgery I should insist that they don't wear masks? Or my dentist? Or me when I'm embalming? I have breathing issues, and you bet your ass I'm wearing masks. Especially because I'm immunocompromised due to the whole repeated spine surgery thing. ~~~ Plus, most of these idiots really don't understand what HIPAA is for. If I go to a store and take the last available mobility scooter, the employees absolutely have the right to ask me to provide proof that I need it, and that I'm not just joyriding. If that employee calls my doctor and demands my doctor hand over my medical records, if my doctor hands them over without my express permission, then the DOCTOR has violated HIPAA and can be prosecuted under HIPAA law. Not the employee, the doctor. I swear it makes me scream every time they insist HIPAA covers non medical personnel. That and the complete misunderstanding of what 'The customer is always right.' means. They always ignore the last half.

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Watching
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

These people never realize that to sue for slander, you must hire a civil attorney. By the hourly. Civil cases take about three years to come around. And then you have to prove damages. No one wins these cases. It's very rare. If they are even filed.

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Sum Guy
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is this person saying, police don't have to prove you stole something, they just need to prove you can steal something?

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#51

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Guðrún Sveinsdóttir
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Watching a superpower in total collapse is unbelievable and seeing that the people don't even see it for them selfs. Your education system is clearly not working so why don't you just stay home and make yourself useful in private.

#52

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Roxy Eastland
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, the government certainly shouldn't allow a citizen the freedom to express how they feel about state of the country

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Watching
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Jill Biden is a doctor, Trump Trash. They will never get over it. They embraced a hooker as first lady.

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Horatio Jebanon
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I will buy you a 神戸 steak dinner if you can show me the words "anchor baby" anywhere in the US Constitution.

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#55

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Watching
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No lawyer will recommend that his client take the stand. Not one.

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I I
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

common sense won't be watching them anyways , it's the rest we need to worry about , opinions are not facts

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Sum Guy
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You can't present new evidence in the supreme court, a Swati guy can tell you that

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James016
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think it is because Chauvin was not innocent and there was no way they could claim he was.

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Truth Monster
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is horrible advice. Say it with me, NEVER. TALK. TO. COPS/FEDS. WITHOUT. A. LAWYER. They act like your best friend to get information from you. To charge you with a crime.

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Roxy Eastland
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dinesh, you are going to have to name the actual law that makes this a crime

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Watching
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Don't you love how the Trump trash's view of freedom is to sue everyone that doesn't agree with them?

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Brenda
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You need other views so you can honestly see what is wrong with it

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danielw
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

... and we wonder why people are so dumb. clearly, they had shitty middle schools.

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Michigan Guy
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

sure. they can also charge you with rape, murder, incest, stealing money from kids charities....yknow...whatever they want to charge you with. of course, they have to prove it eventually....and that's where your statement just...falls apart.

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Roxy Eastland
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What???? I hate this attitude. Every person has the right to a decent defence. Denying it would mean that it had officially be decided that DC was guilty before there was a trial. We've tried that approach in the UK over several centuries and the results are not pretty. I've come to admire those that work hard to give the best defence they can to dreadful people accused of horrific crimes. Can you imagine the terrible level of personal attack they probably suffer? And, without a doubt, it is knowing how scrupulous the defence team will be that ensures that police stick to procedure and behave correctly all the way through as well.

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Guðrún Sveinsdóttir
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Showing weakness is not cool. Strong people are very capable to defend themselves and nothing is more pleasing than deafeating some idiot by your self. Words are better than fists. And remember, knowledge is power and idiots are afraid of that. From when I was only 13 years old I have never been used or been disrespected without serious consequences. I'm 41 now and my hubby is a veteran legionaire and considered to be a deadly weapon just for being himself and he even knows that I'm a Viking and a professional in defending my self at any cost. I don't fear any man and its so good to be able to watch the danger without a single cell of fear. I have never used sphysical violence because I have always been to mentally strong to challenge. I taught my young daughter this and she really listened and she is as brutal as her dear mother and I couldn't be more proud 🥰