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In theory, dating should be the simplest thing in the world. Just be yourself, and when you least expect it, the person of your dreams will come strolling into your life! But as we all know, we often make it much more complicated than necessary, thanks in part to some of the terrible advice magazines publish on the topic…

We’ve taken a trip to the [Stuff] Cosmo Says subreddit and gathered some of the most ridiculous dating and relationship advice the world has ever seen down below. If you’re looking for the love of your life, we’d advise steering clear from any of these tips. But if you’re looking for a laugh and to see some pics that might make you lose faith in humanity, scroll on, pandas!

#2

Creates Buzz In The Bedroom

Creates Buzz In The Bedroom

lenaw792 Report

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coppertopped panda
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My boyfriend is allergic. That's not the kind of swelling I'm looking for.

Nay Wilson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’m desperately afraid of bees. You put a bee in the room and I’m breaking up with you

Cat Chat
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Um, those who actually prefer to mix it up with danger aren't actually doing so with bees.

Miss_H84
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A hornet would be better because that would really make me h***y.

David Wambold
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just put on the Murder channel then you don't have to hunt down a bee.

Riley Quinn
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know someone out there who would say releasing a cat into the room creates a sense of danger. Who knew the watching cat would find the dangling balls amusing.

majandess
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You don't have to stop playing pretend just because you're an adult. 5/5 bees recommend it!

Corrine M
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I will never stop loving this... and I hope I'll never have to go through it. Maybe.

Gypsy Lee
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What women did they survey?-! Was it at a psychiatric clinic?

Foffy Skrimshaw
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I prefer hyenas high on pcp myself. That's the kind of danger I like in the bedroom

Kerry Borthwick
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Cleopatra did this with box of bees apparently the vibrations made her happy

LokisLilButterknife
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This could end tragically if either partner was allergic and didn't know. You put a bee in my room to spice things up, you're ending up on the curb.

Natalie H
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This would have the opposite effect on me. I like bees, but get it tf outta here!!

David Martin
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

*reads Cosmo; throws entire hive into the bedroom for bonus points*

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#3

Well Cosmo, Which One Is It??

Well Cosmo, Which One Is It??

opheliaaaa888 Report

If you’re in a happy, healthy and committed relationship, you might be shocked to find out that this kind of advice is actually being published by people who are getting paid. But, on the other hand, if you’ve ever been on a terrible date (which, let’s face it: we all have!), you might not be so surprised. Perhaps someone you met on Tinder and ended up having dinner with learned that it might be a good idea to start touching your feet under the table or ordering for you from one of these questionable publications.

However, lucky for those of us who are actually sane, we have the [Stuff] Cosmo Says subreddit to laugh at “all the worst from the world's most dangerous sex and relationship advice.” This community, which has been around for a decade now, is primarily focused on sharing questionable advice that’s been published in Cosmopolitan magazine, but they don’t discriminate. “We will welcome bad advice from anywhere,” the mods write in the group’s About Community. 

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#4

An Old Image Taken From A Women's Magazine. Not Satire

An Old Image Taken From A Women's Magazine. Not Satire

shithandle Report

#5

Hypocrite 101

Hypocrite 101

__Dawn__Amber__ Report

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Hawkmoon
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No, no, there no such things as double standards. People would know that.

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[Stuff] Cosmo Says has amassed an impressive 104k members through sharing the world’s worst sex and relationship advice, and unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it), there seems to be no shortage of awful advice being shared. If you’re not familiar with Cosmopolitan, you likely won’t be very impressed by the magazine’s content from this list. But surprisingly, the publication wasn’t always pumping out advice on how to suck a man’s toes or how to avoid ever paying on dates.

According to Cosmopolitan's website, the magazine “debuted in 1886 as a ‘family journal’ and then became known as a literary magazine for the first half of the 20th century.” Once editor Helen Gurley Brown took over the brand, however, the magazine was transformed into “what you know and love today” (Cosmo’s words, not mine): “a destination for real talk about all the things that matter to you, from pop culture and sex to politics and your career.”   

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#7

Cosmo Has Amazing Flirting Advice

Cosmo Has Amazing Flirting Advice

reddit.com Report

#8

Spoiler: It Did Not Work And Don't Do This

Spoiler: It Did Not Work And Don't Do This

bofstein Report

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#9

So...people Really Get Paid To Write This S**t

So...people Really Get Paid To Write This S**t

abeatlesenthusiast Report

Cosmopolitan describes themselves as “the biggest young women’s media brand in the world,” so clearly they have a lot of influence on the internet. However, the magazine is notorious for sharing “unhinged” sex and relationship tips and advice that would likely make most readers raise their eyebrows. According to WJEC in the UK, Cosmo’s demographic is primarily women between the ages of 18-34, with the average reader being a 31-year-old woman with a household income of around £50,000. 45% of readers are single, and readers spend, on average, 75 minutes perusing the magazine.      

#10

Reader Poll About Women's Preferences In The Size Of A Male Partner's Faeces

Reader Poll About Women's Preferences In The Size Of A Male Partner's Faeces

Folamh3 Report

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scag$y
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Perhaps this has been one great, big, smelly misunderstanding. Maybe the readers said that they didn't like men who were full of $hit and 'Sarah' took that literally.

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#11

Guess I’m Gay Then

Guess I’m Gay Then

reddit.com Report

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David Wambold
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

At least they have a question mark rather than an exclamation point at the end.

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For over a decade now, Cosmopolitan has received criticism for sharing not only comically bad advice, but also advice that might actually be harmful to readers. Kate Power wrote a piece for WHYY in 2013 breaking down how unhealthy the obsession with flattening women’s bellies and burning off those “guilty pleasure treats” is. Power notes that publications such as Cosmo and Women’s Health stigmatize eating, encourage eating disorders and fatphobia and are far from promoting body positivity, all under the guise of promoting health. Thankfully, Cosmo doesn’t seem to share such harmful advice in their Health and Fitness section today, but the impact of those articles they pumped out in the early 2000s and 2010s does not disappear overnight.    

#13

With Tips Like These, We Can All Be "Hot Girls" In No Time

With Tips Like These, We Can All Be "Hot Girls" In No Time

opheliaaaa888 Report

#14

8 Reasons Why Cheating Isn't Actually That Bad

8 Reasons Why Cheating Isn't Actually That Bad

reddit.com Report

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Rebelliousslug
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Written by someone with no moral compass. If you want to have an open relationship, find a partner that is ok with that.

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#15

Who Knew Hummus Could Be So Sexy? (Courtesy Of Buzzfeed)

Who Knew Hummus Could Be So Sexy? (Courtesy Of Buzzfeed)

JudyJudgeJudy Report

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Francis
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i laughed so loud :D i imagined myself muttering HUUUUMUUUSS while doing the thing XD

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Now, Cosmo may be the magazine mentioned in the title of this online group, as they’re the most successful and the most famous for sharing this kind of advice, but they’re certainly not the only ones guilty of sharing questionable and downright terrible advice. Julia Belluz wrote a piece for Vox in 2015 detailing why women’s magazines are “bad for our health,” and not much has changed since then. When it comes to the health and lifestyle advice in these magazines, Belluz notes that many of it comes from celebrities, who are in no way experts on the topics, and often boast miracle diets and unhealthy restriction that aren’t sustainable in any way. 

#16

When You Need To Macgyver Some Mints, Cosmo's Got You Covered

When You Need To Macgyver Some Mints, Cosmo's Got You Covered

fryfrey Report

#17

I Don't Know, That Sounds A Bit Too Harrowing For Me

I Don't Know, That Sounds A Bit Too Harrowing For Me

bofstein Report

#18

Yeah, This Makes Way More Sense Than Just Picking The One You Like More

Yeah, This Makes Way More Sense Than Just Picking The One You Like More

yip_yip_appa Report

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Zedrapazia
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Two hot guys who are also "roommates"? Congratulations, it's just a gay couple experimenting with their sêxlife

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It’s no secret that many of these women’s magazines also prey on their readers' insecurities, pressuring them to buy expensive products they don’t actually need and attempt to look like celebrities who wouldn’t even look like themselves without plenty of plastic surgery and photoshop. “Not only are these celebrities genetic anomalies, but they also dedicate their lives to beautifying their faces and bodies; their careers hinge on this,” Belluz explains, noting why we shouldn't compare ourselves to them. “The rest of us have other things to worry about in our lives, and trying to look like Kim or Angelina is a frustrating exercise in futility.”

#21

Cosmo Today vs. 4 Years Ago

Cosmo Today vs. 4 Years Ago

Witherino Report

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Tucker Cahooter
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The picture is the same one they used in the other "objectify" article. That guy's probably going to find it hard to get more photo work pretty soon, unless its to go with articles like "8 signs your boyfriend is a serial killer"

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According to GoodTherapy, just three minutes flipping through a fashion magazine can make women feel guilty, ashamed and depressed. They also report that, regardless of a woman’s size, we are all equally negatively impacted by viewing images of extremely thin models in fashion magazines. So why do we continue to buy into ridiculous advice from toxic magazines? Even if we know it’s harmful and doesn’t teach us any actual, beneficial knowledge, readers can’t help but pick up the latest edition of Vogue or Cosmo when checking out at the grocery store.  

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#22

Which Is The Best One? Hard To Pick

Which Is The Best One? Hard To Pick

LittleRice Report

#24

Way To Go, Reddit. You Made It A "Thing"

Way To Go, Reddit. You Made It A "Thing"

MerrisAwesome Report

If you’re actually searching for advice for dating and relationships, it’s recommended to consult an expert. There are plenty of dating experts, couples counselors and therapists who can help you much more than a silly Cosmo article that was likely written just for fun. Don’t feel ashamed if you can’t contort your body in the ridiculous ways Cosmo recommends, and please refrain from comparing yourself to any of the celebrities who promote questionable diets and swear that their faces are “all natural.” Feel free to read these magazines if they are your cup of tea, pandas! But if they ever make you feel bad about yourself or lead you astray, don’t hesitate to swap them out for an actual book! (Or, you know, Bored Panda...)

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#25

Haha What

Haha What

EpicDerpwin Report

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Lara Verne
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't think I would date seahorse, but whatever floats your boat..

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#26

14 Things The Average Woman Thinks While Giving A Blowjob (From Cosmopolitan.com)

14 Things The Average Woman Thinks While Giving A Blowjob (From Cosmopolitan.com)

_ultraviolence Report

If you’re in a relationship, we hope this list has made you count your blessings, pandas. And if you’re currently single, well, don’t feel so bad about not finding “the one” yet. You definitely don’t want to settle for anyone who takes this advice seriously! We hope you’re enjoying these hilarious pics, pandas; keep upvoting the ones you can’t believe weren’t published satirically. Then, if you’re interested in checking out another Bored Panda article discussing awful relationship advice, we recommend checking out this list next!   

#28

Oh So You Think He's Cheating? Good Lets Steal His Stuff, 'Lose' His Car, Crush His Balls And Ruin His Professional Image Xd Lolololol

Oh So You Think He's Cheating? Good Lets Steal His Stuff, 'Lose' His Car, Crush His Balls And Ruin His Professional Image Xd Lolololol

reddit.com Report

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Zedrapazia
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I could accept it as funny, but it's not even that. It's just b******t

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#30

I Can Finally Decode My Man

I Can Finally Decode My Man

ellogovernorYES Report

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#31

From An Article About "What Men Do In Bed While You Are Sleeping"

From An Article About "What Men Do In Bed While You Are Sleeping"

capjohnkhan Report

#32

#48, Everyone

#48, Everyone

reddit.com Report

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Mayra
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I like how this whole thing was allowed on here but I can’t say a*s

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#33

Being An Asshole Is The Best Way To Flirt With A Guy!

Being An Asshole Is The Best Way To Flirt With A Guy!

BrightSum Report

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Tucker Cahooter
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Amazing that this person thinks that a man would make a cognitive leap from free coffee to marriage.

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#36

The Title Was “What He’s Thinking About During Sex”

The Title Was “What He’s Thinking About During Sex”

reddit.com Report

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#38

True Story: The New Cosmo Editor-In-Chief Got Rid Of The "Career" Section To Make Room For "Astrology"

True Story: The New Cosmo Editor-In-Chief Got Rid Of The "Career" Section To Make Room For "Astrology"

follomearound Report

#39

Sitting Next To Other Women...smdh, What A Crime

Sitting Next To Other Women...smdh, What A Crime

missoms92 Report

#40

Sure Tim, "Confidence Boost"

Sure Tim, "Confidence Boost"

Joan_Jett_Junkie Report

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Aroace tiger (she/they/he)
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Actually I save any messages that r sweet or anything to make me feel better when I feel like s**t

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#41

A True Martyr For Our Generation

A True Martyr For Our Generation

garythehairyfairy Report

#42

Oh So That's Why! Thanks Cosmo! [x-Post From /R/Wtf]

Oh So That's Why! Thanks Cosmo! [x-Post From /R/Wtf]

Danger_kitten Report

#43

How Dare He Let You Do What You Offered To

How Dare He Let You Do What You Offered To

OhNoAnArrow Report

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Natalie H
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What?? Don’t offer to pay if you don’t mean it 🤷🏻‍♀️

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#44

I Love Being A Mistress

I Love Being A Mistress

lurker5420 Report

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#45

Because Heaven Forbid We Should Ever Pay Our Share

Because Heaven Forbid We Should Ever Pay Our Share

Losingbravo Report

#46

How Is Pizza In Bed A Sex Move...?

How Is Pizza In Bed A Sex Move...?

reddit.com Report

#47

“11 Things Every Woman Does During Her Period”

“11 Things Every Woman Does During Her Period”

DriveWithTea Report

#48

How Does One "Try" Anorexia?

How Does One "Try" Anorexia?

truehalf Report

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Mavis
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah this one sucks. A close family member of mine almost died from anorexia, she was in hospital for 11 weeks, and took years to fully recover.

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#49

Wtf Is Wrong With You, Taylor?

Wtf Is Wrong With You, Taylor?

gritsgirl0389 Report

#50

Is It Sexy Because They Can Spell?

Is It Sexy Because They Can Spell?

LittleRice Report

#51

I Hate The Word Pussy Almost As Much As I Hate This Article

I Hate The Word Pussy Almost As Much As I Hate This Article

flamethief Report

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Ven Nigell
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This was probably written by a man. "Vagina tingling" sounds like a yeast infection, not like a ladyboner.

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#53

Interesting And Newsworthy

Interesting And Newsworthy

savagewillie Report

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Tucker Cahooter
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They dropped the ball here. They should have written an article called "How a fancier signature can boost your chances of landing a rich and well connected guy"

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#54

Great Way To Fix Your Boyfriends Texting Habit

Great Way To Fix Your Boyfriends Texting Habit

fluffinatrajp Report

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Ven Nigell
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I so wonder what year it was. Imagine doing this every time a man writes to you on e.g. Slack

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#55

Telling Someone They're Stupid Doesn't Work When You're Grammatically Incorrect

Telling Someone They're Stupid Doesn't Work When You're Grammatically Incorrect

theYouerYou_ Report

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Tucker Cahooter
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To be fair, I did follow that link and the spelling and grammatical errors in the heading and the article are deliberate

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#56

We Have Officially Run Out Of Internet

We Have Officially Run Out Of Internet

reddit.com Report

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Natalie H
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wonder how many animals might need vision correction? 🦨🐁🦫🦃🐕‍🦺🐏🐖🐄🦜🦥

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#58

Muslims, Sikhs, They All Look Alike

Muslims, Sikhs, They All Look Alike

lordatlas Report

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starsailor (they/he)
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

well, at least they didn't kidnap them. these are some decent people :)

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#62

Wait... Why Can't You Just Tell Your Partner How Close You Are? The Rest Seems So Elaborate

Wait... Why Can't You Just Tell Your Partner How Close You Are? The Rest Seems So Elaborate

reddit.com Report

#63

I Have No Words

I Have No Words

einstein1997 Report

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Ven Nigell
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ok, am I the only one to think the most cringy thing in these are doll illustrations? I don't know why, maybe they're just too uncanny valley for me, but couldn't Cosmo of all things afford something better?

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#64

Omfg

Omfg

oc0119 Report

#65

I’m Fine With The Weird Makeup And Sex Tips But I Feel Like We As A Society Should Be Drawing The Line At Stalking Underage Girls And Their Families. This Isn’t Journalism, This Is Creepy

I’m Fine With The Weird Makeup And Sex Tips But I Feel Like We As A Society Should Be Drawing The Line At Stalking Underage Girls And Their Families. This Isn’t Journalism, This Is Creepy

ActualGamerGirl Report

#66

Want A Guy To Not Cheat On You? It's Simple - Just Date A Guy Without A Penis

Want A Guy To Not Cheat On You? It's Simple - Just Date A Guy Without A Penis

reddit.com Report

#68

Benefit 1: Once They Find Out, They Won’t Like You

Benefit 1: Once They Find Out, They Won’t Like You

Baby-yoda-is-badMeme Report

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#69

Cosmo Wants To Help Out Both Parties Of A Relationship

Cosmo Wants To Help Out Both Parties Of A Relationship

opheliaaaa888 Report

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#70

Foreskins Are Alien And Unusual

Foreskins Are Alien And Unusual

jaycrew Report

#71

Its Bad To Want To Pleasure Your Partner

Its Bad To Want To Pleasure Your Partner

originalcommentator Report

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aartdesigns
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hannah, you might just want to masturbate then, if you are afraid of who gets "credit". If someone 'got you there' then it's not all 'yours'. You are the recipient. They had something to do with it. Shouldn't they feel good about it (man or woman or whomever)?

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#72

Apparently Ptsd (Post Trump Sex Disorder) Is A Big Deal

Apparently Ptsd (Post Trump Sex Disorder) Is A Big Deal

Lyd_Euh Report

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Ven Nigell
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wonder if they already have a name for sex aversion women may feel after Roe vs Wade was overturned?

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#73

Men's Health Edition

Men's Health Edition

inu7el Report

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Phil Vaive
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Everyone in the relationship knows about each other, and seems fine with the arrangement, so there's no issue here.

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#75

I Know It’s Trivial But This Ruined My Morning!

I Know It’s Trivial But This Ruined My Morning!

misanthrophile1 Report

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Delta Dawn
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

slices are essentially banana jelly… while a whole ‘nana on a hot dog bun is a vegan hot dog I guess

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#76

Why Is This Making Me Laugh So Hard

Why Is This Making Me Laugh So Hard

GeneralReposti_Bot Report

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#77

Dun Dun Dunnnn! The Royal Wedding Takes A Turn For The Worse!

Dun Dun Dunnnn! The Royal Wedding Takes A Turn For The Worse!

moltenlava16 Report

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Satan
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hopefully. Because if they split up, it'll be all we hear about for the next eight years.

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#78

Sure Every Cosmo Reader Has Experienced This

Sure Every Cosmo Reader Has Experienced This

Swaggerlikerye Report

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Ven Nigell
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is seriously wrong 1. Why an adult cat isn't neutered? 2. What s****y pet hotel allows non-neutered pet to interact with others of opposite sex? Who'll pay for the kittens?

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#79

10 Reasons Why You Should Never Date A Tall Girl

10 Reasons Why You Should Never Date A Tall Girl

LaLaJoy Report

#80

Thanks Cosmo, I Hate It

Thanks Cosmo, I Hate It

littlebitchhh Report

#82

"What Your Favourite Dipping Sauce Says About Your Favourite Kind Of Bad Boy", An Actual Article In Cosmo Sa

"What Your Favourite Dipping Sauce Says About Your Favourite Kind Of Bad Boy", An Actual Article In Cosmo Sa

GetFreeCash Report

#83

The Endangered "Kardashian" Surname Rests On One Child. The Answer Will Shock You!

The Endangered "Kardashian" Surname Rests On One Child. The Answer Will Shock You!

annybear Report

#84

I Should Know, I’m A Witch! And I Totally Use My Magick For Good, Like Making My Crush Like Me, You Know, The Important Stuff!

I Should Know, I’m A Witch! And I Totally Use My Magick For Good, Like Making My Crush Like Me, You Know, The Important Stuff!

Loesje2303 Report

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#85

According To Cosmo, This Is The Best Pick-Up Line A Woman Can Use On A Man

According To Cosmo, This Is The Best Pick-Up Line A Woman Can Use On A Man

LiterallySagan Report

#87

Whelp

Whelp

CitizenLafayette Report

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GhostlySnail (she/her)
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hate everything about this one but of all things was “welp” really the best way to start?

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#88

Cosmo Snapchat Article On 12 Red Flags From Boys

Cosmo Snapchat Article On 12 Red Flags From Boys

_Vienna Report