Join the Fun!

“Wish I Was Kidding”: 50 Hilariously Unfortunate Names That Were Actually Given To Babies Labia.

No. I am not joking. Pronounced La'-beeuh. Poor sod.

GarethOfQuirm , Pixabay Report

Final score:

143points

POST

flower petals 6 months ago

That’s a lifetime of mockery coming for that poor person.. If we have driving licenses before we’re allowed to drive, people should be tested before they’re allowed to breed 😂

94points

I work at a school... We have a Khaleesi, a Goku, a M'King, Carr'money and a Sir. Parents these days are absolutely as insane as you think.

SomeJerkAtWerk Report

Final score:

139points

POST

T'Mar of Vulcan 6 months ago (edited)

So do I... But at least here the 'odd' seeming names are due to parents using names that either remind them of something or it's something they want for their kids. Precious, Passion, Fidelity, Happy, etc. Taught three siblings whose names were Regomoditswe Isis (she went by Isis), Mosa Osiris (went by Mosa) and Phumza Cleopatra (went by Phumza). Their mother was obsessed with Egypt, obviously. Taught a girl named Jihad. Asked if I could call her Crusade. Her father wasn't amused, since 'jihad' actually means 'struggle'. I currently have a girl in my class named Amazing. Yes, people call her every synonym for it under the sun. She answers to them all.

49points

To learn more about how this conversation started in the first place, we reached out to Reddit user Inky-Skies, who posed the question, "What's the worst name you've known to actually be given to a child?"

She was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda and share that the thread was inspired by a conversation she had with her boyfriend about silly names. "He just moved from the US to Germany to live with me, and I explained how the law can intervene here if parents try to give their kids very outrageous or insulting/illegal names," the OP explained.

"We read a list of silly names online, and I was curious to see if people on Reddit knew someone who gave such names to their kids IRL," she continued. "I certainly didn't expect the post to blow up the way it did!"

“Wish I Was Kidding”: 50 Hilariously Unfortunate Names That Were Actually Given To Babies I worked with somebody whose first and middle names were Tequila Sunrise

She said her mom named her that because that's how she was conceived.

asselfoley , Timur Weber Report

Final score:

119points

POST

glowworm2 6 months ago

Least her middle name wasn’t Mockingbird.

109points

“Wish I Was Kidding”: 50 Hilariously Unfortunate Names That Were Actually Given To Babies Went to school with a kid who had a full beard, was 6ft4 and wide as a fridge. His name?

Angel Darling.

chestofdrawers02 , Beard Kid Report

Final score:

118points

POST

Cecilia Herrera 6 months ago

...and no one ever made fun of his name again.

111points

“Wish I Was Kidding”: 50 Hilariously Unfortunate Names That Were Actually Given To Babies My mom was a 1st grade schoolteacher in a very rural southern area. She once had a kid named Orgasm.

I…had no words.

vectaur , Alexander Dummer Report

Final score:

117points

POST

Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 6 months ago

I'll have what she's having.

84points

TransitTycoonDeznutz Report

Because outrageous names are banned in Germany, the OP says she doesn't personally know anyone who's named their child something that could end up on this list. "But sometimes people will have unusual or weirdly spelled names - my own name, Riccarda, might fall into that category," she shared.

"And of course, certain names are stigmatized but legal; the female name Chantal (unfortunately my middle name, from before it became stigmatized) or the male name Kevin are examples of that here," Inky-Skies added.

Went to school with a girl named Shtanya. She once said something really horrible to me so I told me mom who said "Who told you this? What? You're gonna get s**t talked by someone named 'S**t on you'? Tell her to get bent."

Next time she mouthed off I let the one fly. She never recovered.

Final score:

115points

POST

Comfortably Numb 6 months ago

Haha this one I love 😆

44points

“Wish I Was Kidding”: 50 Hilariously Unfortunate Names That Were Actually Given To Babies Siblings: Brodeo Rodeo and Justa Cowgirl.

Afraid-String , Ted McDonnell Report

Final score:

112points

POST

glowworm2 6 months ago

Not Brodeo Rodeo!🤣

55points

“Wish I Was Kidding”: 50 Hilariously Unfortunate Names That Were Actually Given To Babies Former mailman here. The name that takes the cake is Marijuana Whiskey.

Immediate_Revenue_90:

There is a college professor named Marijuana Pepsi

RnbwSprklBtch , Terricks Noah Report

Final score:

106points

POST

Zephyr343 6 months ago

Yup! Marijuana Pepsi went to my Alma mater

51points

We also asked Inky-Skies what she believes are the most important factors parents should consider when choosing names for their kids. "To choose a name that won't provoke bullying or otherwise negatively affect the child's life," she told Bored Panda.

"I think a lot of parents want the name to be funny or unique when choosing such a name, or consider it witty - but they forget that they're naming a person, not a character or pet," the OP says. "That person will one day grow up and apply for jobs with their name, have their own social circle and personality. It's unfair to burden someone with a name that will ridicule them or turn them into a social outcast. That should go above the parents' need to express themselves."

#10

I read about a child whose mother named her Treblinka.

When asked why, the mother said "Because it's so pretty!" She didn't care about the history of that name at all.

(For those NITK, it's the name of one of the Nazi death camps during WWII.).

DrBlankslate Report

Final score:

106points

POST

Just-A-Black-Cat-Lover 6 months ago

oop-

38points

#11

“Wish I Was Kidding”: 50 Hilariously Unfortunate Names That Were Actually Given To Babies Per freakonomics there was a family in which the dad named kid number 7 "winner". Kid number 8 was named "loser".

Loser is a successful lawyer as of my last read, pronounces it lou-sier.

BlackWindBears , Hannah Nelson Report

Final score:

88points

POST

UncleJohn3000 6 months ago (edited)

"It's pronounced *Bou-quet* "

176points

Readsumthing , RDNE Stock project Report

#12

“Wish I Was Kidding”: 50 Hilariously Unfortunate Names That Were Actually Given To Babies A girl in juvie court - I’m guessing at the spelling, so I’m writing it as it was pronounced- Loukeemia. I kid you not. I nearly died.

Final score:

87points

POST

KDS 6 months ago (edited)

So were her parents saying she’s a cancer on them the day she was born or something?

34points

As far as what Inky-Skies thought of the responses to her post, she says, "I did read through most of them, although after the first thousand or so, it was hard to keep track of them all!"

"One of the funniest I saw was 'Mnop,' pronounced Noël - because 'no L,'" she shared. "Another parent apparently named their child 'Naruto Uzumaki Namikaze' - the full name of the anime character - as a first name. A few more: 'Sexybeth,' 'Placenta' ('because it sounds like a flower'), 'Goldfish,' and 'WiFi.'"

#13

“Wish I Was Kidding”: 50 Hilariously Unfortunate Names That Were Actually Given To Babies Ta'Lighta. Her last name was Kandle. I don't know what her mother was thinking.

zoeheriot , Vlada Karpovich Report

Final score:

85points

POST

Cecilia Herrera 6 months ago (edited)

" I don't know what her mother was thinking." That her daughter would someday be the light in the darkness.

50points

#14

“Wish I Was Kidding”: 50 Hilariously Unfortunate Names That Were Actually Given To Babies I knew a family that named their daughters Today, Tomara, and Ta'yestaday. Wish I was kidding.

Hexagonsnsuch , Xeniya Kovaleva Report

Final score:

85points

POST

Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 6 months ago

Fourth child, Tanight?

99points

#15

My best friend grew up with a guy whose legal name was *actually* "Lunchbox." LUNCHBOX!!!! And his younger brother's name was "Thermos".

moonandbaek Report

Final score:

83points

POST

Just-A-Black-Cat-Lover 6 months ago

Hey, Lunchbox, don't forgot to bring Thermos along with you; don't forget him again!

33points

Finally, the OP added that she's "very happy that really insulting names aren't allowed in [her] country, because in the end, it's the child's dignity that's at stake."

"Parents shouldn't be given free reign if their goal is to dehumanize their children," she says.

#16

I did security clearance back ground checks in the Army and ran across a soldier who's name was Captain Richard Gaylord. He went by D**k or Cap, but preferred D**k.

** I am editing to make it clear that his parents named him Captain Richard. He was a Sgt in the army.

bensonprp Report

Final score:

81points

POST

Just-A-Black-Cat-Lover 6 months ago

***You serious BP?? It's a FREAKING NAME.***

58points

#17

“Wish I Was Kidding”: 50 Hilariously Unfortunate Names That Were Actually Given To Babies My mom worked in a nicu. Someone named their daughter Chlamydia… because it’s sounds pretty… the social worker talked them into changing it thankfully

There was also: Jellyanus (pronounced helli-ah-nas), More Money, Super Royal, Love Godess, Pajama (paj-ahma), Gary’en and Gary’on, Shaniya & Shanijah, Rowdy, Sir, Heavensentmyblessin’.

violetsunlight7 , Liza Summer Report

Final score:

81points

POST

Cat Dragon 6 months ago

I've seen a Cash Money (or maybe it was spelled "monay") and I remembered a post waay back when on BP about bad brides/bridesmaids/wedding in general and in one of them the bride would say for richer or richer instead of richer or poorer. We found her kid guys

29points

#18

“Wish I Was Kidding”: 50 Hilariously Unfortunate Names That Were Actually Given To Babies Placenta, I guess they heard it in the hospital and liked the sound.

qdude1 , Matilda Wormwood Report

Final score:

80points

POST

Katie Lutesinger 6 months ago

Reminds me of that one episode of Kath and Kim. "I heard some good names at the hospital, like what about Kardio Enfarktion?" "God no, then you'd get 'Farked' for short!"

39points

#19

I briefly worked with a lady who's given name was Bunny. She worked for the Army Corps of Engineers and was terrifyingly stern - no smiling, no jokes, no funny business. Most inaptly named person I have ever met, unless her parents were into Watership Down or something.

WSHIII Report

Final score:

79points

POST

Elladine DesIsles 6 months ago

When I was growing up, there were two teachers at my school who were sisters. One was Bunny, and the other was Kitty.

38points

#20

LaDynasty = I remember many substitute teachers mispronouncing it Lady Nasty.

Lucky-Dentist5407 Report

Final score:

78points

POST

Howl's sleeping castle 6 months ago

It was waiting to happen

31points

#21

“Wish I Was Kidding”: 50 Hilariously Unfortunate Names That Were Actually Given To Babies I have a neighbor called Batman. I think it's dope but I couldn't call my child that.

presucestii , Ozgur Camurlu Report

Final score:

72points

POST

glowworm2 6 months ago

His nemesis is the guy who lives across the street. His name is Joe Kerr.

142points

#22

“Wish I Was Kidding”: 50 Hilariously Unfortunate Names That Were Actually Given To Babies When I was working at a restaurant, a guy gave me a credit card to pay and I wouldn’t have believed it had I not seen it. His name: Alpha Gay.

znikki , Pavel Danilyuk Report

Final score:

66points

POST

Cat Dragon 6 months ago

Gen Z: *exists* Children:

29points

#23

Pubert.
That's it.
Pubert Smith.

ShartBlasta Report

Final score:

66points

POST

Comfortably Numb 6 months ago

I mean that joke in the Addams Family is funny, however...

40points

#24

I booked in a woman who’s name was Clitoris.

JuliaMowbray Report

Final score:

65points

POST

Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 6 months ago

She was great at hide and seek. Men could never find her.

143points

#25

“Wish I Was Kidding”: 50 Hilariously Unfortunate Names That Were Actually Given To Babies Banjoman. He went by Bo.

It was pronounced "Banjamen". So I assumed his parents were too redneck and uneducated to know how "Benjamin" was spelled.

NickFurious82 , Carlos Santiago Report

Final score:

64points

POST

Lavern Defazio 6 months ago (edited)

Well if they were rednecks then banjomen sounds bout right.

75points

#26

This isn’t the worst name, it’s actually very common. But I went to high school with a girl named Casey Diaz. I didn’t make the connection until my friend just chuckled and said, ‘quesadillas, hahaha’.

Vegetable_Burrito Report

Final score:

63points

POST

The Original Bruno 6 months ago

I like this one. A little cheesy, a little spicy, but mild enough to not be cruel.

66points

creamandblack , William Fortunato Report

#27

“Wish I Was Kidding”: 50 Hilariously Unfortunate Names That Were Actually Given To Babies I had a colleague whose brother named their baby son Dude. She was distraught and pretty disgusted 😬.

Final score:

63points

POST

Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 6 months ago (edited)

The Dude abides. Nice rug, it really ties the room together.

51points

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

See Also on Bored Panda

Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women

#28

My son played soccer with a kid named Anaconda.

We had a customer at work who was a male named Sarah, and another customer (whose family was not American) named Mahboob.

AliQuots Report

Final score:

63points

POST

Just-A-Black-Cat-Lover 6 months ago

{**inner fifth grader in me trying not to burst out laughing**}

52points

IdentifiesAsUrMom , Monstera Production Report

#29

“Wish I Was Kidding”: 50 Hilariously Unfortunate Names That Were Actually Given To Babies Heard about an airline being sued because the attendants were making fun of a child passenger's name which is, I s**t you not, Abcde. Like of course your child is going to be bullied for a fuck*ss name like that.

Final score:

60points

POST

Judes 6 months ago

It bothers me that OP seems to think making fun of the kid is somehow justified. And by adults.

54points

#30

“Wish I Was Kidding”: 50 Hilariously Unfortunate Names That Were Actually Given To Babies I once met a kid named "WiFi." Yep, you heard that right. I guess their parents wanted them to be constantly connected...to their name!

ItchyWay207 , Misha Feshchak Report

Final score:

58points

POST

Just-A-Black-Cat-Lover 6 months ago

Imagine this in school: 'Hey, the WiFi's out!' WiFi: Huh? me? 'Yeah, now!' *punch*

21points

#31

“Wish I Was Kidding”: 50 Hilariously Unfortunate Names That Were Actually Given To Babies I worked with someone who met a kid named Meconium (yes, as in baby's first poop).

autumn-ember-7 , Carlos Santiago Report

Final score:

58points

POST

JB 6 months ago

That's a s****y name

87points

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

See Also on Bored Panda

“Ma’am I Live Here”: Woman Refuses To Back Out Of Driveway, Learns A Lesson The Hard Way

#32

“Wish I Was Kidding”: 50 Hilariously Unfortunate Names That Were Actually Given To Babies My dad's assistant named her daughter Slanina which essentially means "pig fat" in Romanian. She even pronounced it the same way as the word is pronounced in Romanian: sluh-ni-nuh.

fulthrottlejazzhands , Ketut Subiyanto Report

Final score:

57points

POST

Rachel Pelz 6 months ago

That is cruel. At least not recognisable for non-Romanian speaking people.

46points

#33

When I was a teenager I worked with a guy named Jack Hoff. As a teacher I had students in the same class named Rusty Buzzoff and Carmen Butts. I also had a student who’s 15 year old sister had a baby girl and named her Pebbles Champagne.

Laughacy Report

Final score:

57points

POST

Haleprincess 6 months ago

There should be a test people have to pass in order to be given the powers of procreation. Some of these are their own special brand of stupid. Those poor kids.

46points

#34

“Wish I Was Kidding”: 50 Hilariously Unfortunate Names That Were Actually Given To Babies Arsonlove

They called them Arson for short.

awesome_possum76 , Skitterphoto Report

Final score:

55points

POST

PFD 6 months ago

Someone's been arson about

28points

#35

I don't work in the porn/stripper industry but I've had a customer named Misty Butts and another named Krystal Power.

Luder09 Report

Final score:

52points

POST

LakotaWolf (she/her) 6 months ago

Parents, if you want to name your kid Crystal, PLEASE spell it normally. XD

25points

50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

See Also on Bored Panda

French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics

#36

I once met a kid named "Cyanide." I guess their parents were aiming for something unique, but they probably didn't realize it's also a deadly poison. Talk about starting life with a bang!

Beginning_Poet_1954 Report

Final score:

52points

POST

Daniel Atkins 6 months ago

Brother is named Anthrax

30points

VarkYuPayMe , Ekaterina Belinskaya Report

#37

“Wish I Was Kidding”: 50 Hilariously Unfortunate Names That Were Actually Given To Babies Delicious.... and it was a guy... you will find many funny 'english' names in our part of the world... many many.

Final score:

51points

POST

A C 6 months ago

What part of the world is this?

17points

OldOperaHouseMan , Tuhin Adhikary Report

#38

“Wish I Was Kidding”: 50 Hilariously Unfortunate Names That Were Actually Given To Babies I went to school with a girl named Princess. She was exactly what you'd expect from someone with that name.

Final score:

50points

POST

T'Mar of Vulcan 6 months ago

Princess and Prince are common names in South Africa.

30points

Zealousideal-Law6075 Report

#39

I went to school with a Richard Lycker. The jokes were endless.

Final score:

50points

POST

Shine Chisholm (they/ them) 6 months ago

I knew both a Richard Roller and Richard Wacker growing up

23points

#40

I knew a boy called Rambo he was 8 when the first movie came out. They changed his name within 6 months.

Soopercow Report

Final score:

49points

POST

Robert T 6 months ago

What to? Rocky?

42points

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

See Also on Bored Panda

Mom Leaves $250k Inheritance To Son, Throws A Fit When Daughter Stops Looking After Her

#41

V*gina. Pronounced VAJ-ah-na. The mother saw the word in print and thought it was nice.

markydsade Report

Final score:

49points

POST

The Original Bruno 6 months ago

The more formal name of a secret agent whose last name was "Galore."

37points

kargyres , mohammad hosein MOSAYEBI Report

#42

“Wish I Was Kidding”: 50 Hilariously Unfortunate Names That Were Actually Given To Babies My mom knew a Harry Pitts in high school. I also work at a college and saw a student with the first name “Violence.”.

Final score:

46points

POST

Katie Lutesinger 6 months ago

If I got stuck with a name like that I'd be choosing violence on a daily basis.

22points

Capable-Ground8272 , Kindel Media Report

#43

“Wish I Was Kidding”: 50 Hilariously Unfortunate Names That Were Actually Given To Babies Colon. Not Collin. It may not be weird name to some people, but all I can think of is the large intestine when I hear that name.

Final score:

46points

POST

BatPhace 6 months ago

Which came first, the punctuation mark or the medical term....

25points

#44

Girl I know from college named her kid “Moatley” because she likes the idea of castle moats and the protection they provide. She’s now pregnant again, can’t wait to see what awful name the next kid is saddled with.

expertlyblended Report

Final score:

46points

POST

Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 6 months ago

And this is my child Drawbridge.

65points

Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

See Also on Bored Panda

“This Breaks My Heart”: People Stunned—And Angry—After Woman Buys Lost Luggage From Airport

#45

“Wish I Was Kidding”: 50 Hilariously Unfortunate Names That Were Actually Given To Babies I did a form in work today. The person's first name was Amazing-Grace.

T_raltixx , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

45points

POST

Cecilia Herrera 6 months ago

How sweet the sound.

37points

#46

I am a retired teacher and I really know or knew these people and families and so, I cannot make my own comments, but you feel free!
1) Nosmoking (first thing Mom saw when she woke up)
2) Female (3 syllables, rhymes with tamale) (that’s what doctor wrote on her bracelet)
3) Asia
4) Barling (as in darling, just wanted something different)
5) Starfish
6) Rainbow
7) Sir, Mister
8) Knowing God
9) Prince, Princess, Queen, King, Duke
10) Bestie
11) Bictha

These are just the ones that come to mind quickly. There are many more creative ones. My stomach hurts now though.

Dog-Addiction1105 Report

Final score:

44points

POST

Carl Roberts 6 months ago

Some of these aren't all that uncommon, such as Duke, Prince, and even Asia.

20points

Character-Ad3534 , MART PRODUCTION Report

#47

“Wish I Was Kidding”: 50 Hilariously Unfortunate Names That Were Actually Given To Babies I once knew a kid named "Fiasco." Yep, sounds like setting high expectations right from birth!

Final score:

42points

POST

James016 6 months ago

This picture though! It does show a forthcoming fiasco.

15points

Bobafetished , RDNE Stock project Report

#48

“Wish I Was Kidding”: 50 Hilariously Unfortunate Names That Were Actually Given To Babies This girl I knew, her legal name was Female. Her mother couldn’t pick a name and it was left as female. Once it was too late to change, it was all hell. Everyone called her Jackie cause that’s what she wanted but legally, her name is Female. We would always fun of her and pronounce it like the word Tamale. fem-all-ee. She hated it😭.

Final score:

40points

POST

The Original Bruno 6 months ago

I knew a Mel when I was in first grade. I was a huge nerd. He told the class he was going to have a sister and his parents said he could suggest names. I suggested Femel. I thought it was funny. No-one else did. Did I mention I was a huge nerd?

19points

"I Didn't Start The Dryer": Karen Gets Taught A Lesson After Throwing Out Neighbor's Wet Clothes

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College Student Does Exactly As Told After Roommates Demand They Keep Their Stuff In Their Room

#49

There was a girl from my brothers school called Closure.

Artistic_Data9398 Report

Final score:

38points

POST

JustYou'reAveragePANda 6 months ago

Oh poor girl.

6points

#50

I had a kid in one of my classes named Forth. I don't get it.

darkmasterdrake Report

Final score:

37points

POST

Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 6 months ago

Older siblings called First, Second and Brian.

57points

Note: this post originally had 80 images. It’s been shortened to the top 50 images based on user votes.

Howdy, I'm Adelaide! I'm originally from Texas, but after graduating from university with an acting degree, I relocated to sunny Los Angeles for a while. I then got a serious bite from the travel bug and found myself moving to Sweden and England before settling in Lithuania about two years ago. I'm passionate about animal welfare, sustainability and eating delicious food. But as you can see, I cover a wide range of topics including drama, internet trends and hilarious memes. I can easily be won over with a Seinfeld reference, vegan pastry or glass of fresh cold brew. And during my free time, I can usually be seen strolling through a park, playing tennis or baking something tasty.

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I am a Visual editor at Bored Panda, I'm determined to find the most interesting and the best quality images for each post that I do. On my free time I like to unwind by doing some yoga, watching all kinds of movies/tv shows, playing video and board games or just simply hanging out with my cat

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What do you think ?

POST

Ansi 6 months ago

So a joke from Reddit: A woman had a C-section and when she woke up she was told her brother had named her twins! She was horrified and bursted out: He's an idiot. What did he name them!? The doctor: He named the girl Denise. New mom: Okay, that was actually good. So what did he name the other one? The doctor: Denephew.

26points

Melissa Harris 6 months ago

Some countries have rules about what you can legally name a child. Usually no military ranks or titles of royalty and nothing that could be considered 'ofensive'.

26points

weatherwitch 6 months ago

Or in the case of many of these just ridiculous for the poor child!

3points

JkNuss 6 months ago

Am I the only who can't see the majority of the names - this doesn't happen in just a few posts but all the posts in multiple articles on this site - you can't read the type it's just missing

11points

Annik Perrot 6 months ago

Happened to me when I first was here. I deleted the app and now I read straight from the Web site and see everything.

9points

Sarah Hine 6 months ago

Same here.

2points

sadmrguna 6 months ago

OMG I thought it was just me!! I've deleted and re-installed the app, restarted my phone but nothing helps. It's when the post is a combination of text and photos. It has only been doing this for the last week or so though, so I'm hoping it might "fix itself" eventually?

0points

Junking Junk 6 months ago

Happens to me in chrome. Edge doesnt do it.

0points

Lydsylou (she/her) 6 months ago

Elon and Grimes 3 kids: xæa-xII, Exa dark sidræl, techno maximus. I fell so bad for these kids

8points

- 6 months ago

Sid and Max could work in the school yard. No idea how to shorten xæa-xII.

2points

Trisec Tebeakesse 6 months ago

We went the other way. Our son is named Javier, with the common Spanish spelling. However, it's originally a Basque name, and the Basque spelling is Xabier, pronounced the same way. We both thought that would have been cool, but in the United States, he'd be "X-Avier", and we didn't want that.

5points

The Original Bruno 6 months ago (edited)

Oh, no there's more. There was a New Hampshire congressman who was falsely named the winner of the senate race by the network exit poll consortium named Richard Swett. But he didn't go by Richard for some reason known only to God. A Republican who opposed gays in the military probably because he was named Richard Armey, but again, didn't go by Richard. And a Senate candidate in Virginia named Crystal Balls. Also, a naming convention for referencing bills is to refer to the chief House and Senate sponsor; the bill regulating the internet should have been known as the Dingle-Berry Act, but for some reason the media didn't call it that.

5points

Trillian 6 months ago

These lists really make me appreciate Germany's naming laws.

4points

Lori T Wisconsin 6 months ago

Daughter attended high school with a girl named Sweet Peaches, and twins Chlorine & Florine!

4points

Darius S. (he/him) cis/grey 6 months ago

There used to be a missing poster at my DMV for a child named La'Treen..(felt doubly horrible for him) . also my sister taught a kid named Codeine .

3points

Guy Bare 6 months ago

I lived in a place where parents used to spell their children's name in a "fancy" way. Once on the phone a father spelled Alejandro like that : "H A L E Y R H A N D R O" 😅 sure why not sir !

3points

Montanavanna 6 months ago

When I heard a friend's boyfriends name was Johnny John-john Johnson I thought he was full of s**t. Nope, that is for real his full name.

3points

TheBlueBitterfly 6 months ago

I knew a Walter Walters.

1point

Two_rolling_black_eyes 6 months ago

George. The boxer George Foreman named all 5 of his sons (George Edward Foreman Jr, III, IV, V, VI)) and one of his seven daughters (Georgetta Edwina Foreman) after himself. I think George is fine for any other family but there's no way you grow up normal with 6 other people in your home with the exact same name.

3points

PFD 6 months ago

Just wait till I tell you about Mrs McCave

0points

KDS 6 months ago

I have a bit of advice for soon to be parents before you settle on a name yell that name out and if you still like it use it but if you don’t it might be a good idea to change it before the kid is born.

3points

Mike F 6 months ago

It's comical that when we were too young to be in with the street lights, parents used to come on the porch steps and shout our names. Whenever I read things like this I think of those days and specifically the next door neighbor and what old John would sound like shouting this out in the neighborhood.

1point

Denise Melek 6 months ago (edited)

Do those people realize that they are naming humans, and not hamsters, boats or some random object?

2points

Zoe's Mom 6 months ago

Mary Christmas, Peter Prick, Barely White (an African American woman), Parsley Green. Just a few I saw while in customer service job.

2points

Ada Hunter 6 months ago

as someone from utah, known for the weird names, i have some good ones. i worked in face painting so met a lot of little kids with the stereotypical utah moms. one girls name was Stalin. another girl, one of the sweetest girls i’ve ever met, her name was Rib. i also knew a girl in elementary school named Cleopatra, and her sisters were Calypso and Aphrodite. this isn’t a bad name but a girl i’m friends with just had a baby at 16, and she chose his name via instagram polls on her story

2points

Kraneia The Dancing Dryad 6 months ago

We saved the weirdness for our kid's middle name, that way if they didn't like it they don't have to tell anyone. I went to school with a Tony Orlando. My sister attended school with a Mason Dixion.

2points

khaalidah 6 months ago

This article feels like punching down.

2points

Haunted Human 6 months ago

This comment feels like humorless cyborg.

0points

Castles 6 months ago

I always remember Britains got talent and there was this woman called Lettuce. Absolutely amazing on the violin though

1point

Maisey Myles 6 months ago

Parents that give these idiotic names to their kids should be required to start a trust fund to pay for therapy or legal fees to change their names

1point

Jay Cannaday 6 months ago

Our local newspaper used to print birth announcements. At work we'd look at the newspaper when production tapered off. I'll never forget one little girl who was named Q'aandyklyia. Her last name was Johnson. This was a good 35 years ago and she probably has yet to figure out how to spell that mess.

1point

Performingyak 6 months ago

Kids I've taught Safari Honey Rickadonna J Alecxsander Tenneccee (the poor girl trying to spell that in kindy) Opal, in an opal mining town.

1point

Steve Hall 6 months ago

People should have to take IQ tests before being allowed to breed!

1point

- 6 months ago

When it comes to naming children, that might not work. Someone with a PhD in literature could call their kid "Onomatopoeia" while a very average parent might say, "F*ck it, 'Matilda' is close enough and I can spell it."

2points

Enuya 6 months ago (edited)

Merlin balls, I am SO happy that my country has restrictions when it comes to naming kids. My mum was worried that "Samanta" would be too weird name for a kid and opted for a more common name for my sister. The weirdest I'd ever seen (and I had seen a lot as I work with tons of documents) were many weird forms of "Jessica" - it was a popular name here some 15-20 years ago. Well, there also was one - I kid you not - Adolf Himmler (curiously, born long after WW2 ended). I cannot imagine what do people who call their children "Chlamydia" or "Candy Barr" think. Poor kiddos.

1point

AZ Panda 6 months ago

Customer who just had a baby named her daughter "Divine Candy"

1point

Robert Millar 6 months ago

I often make up throwaway names for comments on websites like Ada Klokk, or Andy Lockerloop, but I might just start using names like these.

1point

Tamra 6 months ago

Try "Brick Hardcheese" next. 😂

0points

PattyK 6 months ago

I once heard of a man whose first name was Misadventure.

1point

T'Mar of Vulcan 6 months ago

I work with someone whose middle name is Euthanasia.

1point

The Original Bruno 6 months ago

Oh, one more... I actually knew a Mary Christmas. In our dialect, that's only just close enough to be funny.

1point

Bettye McKee 6 months ago

I pity these children. When they get older, at least they can change it legally, but childhood is the cruelest time.

0points

Rafael 6 months ago

Brazil has a rule that the officer has to refuse those names that are common adjectives, substantives and so forth - even if they themselves think it is a good idea, they have to refuse. The parents can appellate to a judge, who should be a voice of reason on these cases. There is a Samba singer in Brazil, Seu Jorge ("Seu" is in itself a nickname, akin to Mister), he tried to name his kid Samba. The officer saw how fitting it was, but had to refuse - the case went to a judge and he was granted the name. I myself think the best names are the ones that won't provide a weak spot for bullies to latch early in life, and are international enough later in life to allow them to blend in to any country they choose to move. I named my son Daniel, which is the same in English, Spanish, Portuguese, French, Hungarian, even Indonesian, according to Wikipedia :-)

0points

Pawlise Glemtepassord 6 months ago

I have no plans to have children. And yet I have a list of names that I have checked, double checked, pronounced in every way to bullyproof and checked meanings in other languages for. All this for names I will probably never use, just in case. While at the same time somebody somewhere dooms their child with anatomy and disease names you could find out was a bad idea with one google, like what? Why? You had Nine! Months! to find better options.

0points

Ellen Woods 6 months ago

I once met a Nefertiti and I knew a Sharon. My bad, Sha'ron. Girl, your name is SHARON!

0points

Ellen Woods 6 months ago

I met a Nefertiti and knew a Sharon. My bad, Sha'ron. Girl your name is SHARON!

0points

C Hendrix 6 months ago

I'd heard the "female" story from a cousin, the girl was student in her science class. I grew up with Ginger Root, Pam Slutz, and there was a couple in our town named Ben and Eileen Dover.

0points

Haunted Human 6 months ago

Our high school had a substitute teacher named Anita Head... :/

1point

Lexie Rayborn 6 months ago

So my great Grandmother had 3 husbands (Now granted they all would have been born in the late 1800s/early 1900s) But they were as following: Colon Mister Jack (Yes Mister was his first name- he is my biological great grandfather) Finally, she married a guy named O.R. which stood for Orange Rasin

0points

John Nelson 6 months ago

The best dentist I ever had was Dr. Paine. I guess with that name, he had to really step up.

0points

Haunted Human 6 months ago (edited)

My sedation dentist is Dr. Love... her practice name is "Gentle Dental". I once went to a chiropractor named Dr. Pain... once was quite enough.

0points

Patti 6 months ago

I'm only seeing the first sentence of each post. So some of them the name doesn't come up . Clearly this not happening to everyone. Is it happening to anyone else?

0points

Becky's Display Name 6 months ago

Asked a bar patron his name to start a tab, he laughed, said you wouldn't believe me, and handed me his card. Kermit. Legit 60 something named Kermit. His middle and last names are just as wild (no, not Frogg).

0points

Louplou 6 months ago

Birth announcement in the local paper was for a child named Holly Caust, I wish I was joking

0points

Tams21 6 months ago

These aren't "hilariously unfortunate" but parents willfully making their child's life immeasurably harder for the sake of a novel name.

0points

arthbach 6 months ago

One of the girls in my class was Heather Bell. Another was called Amanda Hills - nothing problematic about that, but her sister was Beverly.

0points

FunOldGuy 6 months ago

During a christening the minister forgot the baby girl's name. The father leaned in and said "It's Pindonna," so the minister christened her "Pindonna." The father was clearly upset, so the ceremony was ended as quickly as possible. The father demanded to know why his daughter had been given such a terrible name. The minister replied "You said her name was Pindonna." The father said, "I told you her name was pinned on her. All you had to do was read the tag."

0points

Haunted Human 6 months ago

Gotta be Boston/ Mass... Massholes are real!

0points

Bex 6 months ago

I know so many of these! Went to HS w a girl named Emma Leigh (Leigh was her last name); my sister's BFF is named Candy bc her parents are from Ecuador and wanted her to have an American sounding name, and a family my sister used to babysit for named their kids after the cities they were conceived in: Austin (a girl), Cisco (a boy) (short for Francisco, as in San Francisco).

0points

Scott Rackley 6 months ago

Sisters, pronounced ye-LAH-je-low and o-RAHN-je-low. I'll let you figure out the spelling.

0points

Dave M 6 months ago

This is why we need to follow other countries lead and have to get children's names approved. No crazy spellings that are "ethnic", and nothing that will cause problems for the child later. Messed up names borders on child abuse.

0points

The Darkest Timeline 6 months ago

My son is classmates with a Gideon. No problem, right? Not a super common name but not far out. Except for the fact that it’s pronounced “Guide-un.” That’s right; his parents thought Gideon was pronounced “Guide-un.”

0points

KillerKiwi 6 months ago

I know a Bart Barton. Of all of the names, that was the one that his parents choose

0points

Elizabeth Lloyd 6 months ago

Secondary teacher here. Many moons ago I taught a Michael Hunt. He demanded to be called Mike - after his dad.

0points

Haunted Human 6 months ago

Oh Dear!

0points

Crouching hippo hidden panda 6 months ago

Most European countries won’t even let parents do this. I live in Italy and the names we chose had to be reviewed and pass first before they register a child

0points

DB 6 months ago

Went to school with a kid name Major Battles. His younger brother was named Elsegundo because he was the second child. We used to call him Number Two.

0points

marilynnberry4 6 months ago

I know of twin boys...Romance and Romantic, a girl named Princess and a Taquila

0points

Mari 6 months ago

What are those people smoking when naming their kids???

0points

SDLT010 6 months ago (edited)

Nick Kurr

0points

That Persistent Lint 6 months ago

I'm disappointed on Usnavy (pronounced Ooze-nah-vee) not being listed.

0points

geezeronthehill 6 months ago

The Heyo family in our county was doing fine until they named a daughter "Heidi ".

0points

PSimms 6 months ago

I believe most of these are fake

0points

The Doom Song 6 months ago

I wish stupid people would stop breeding and giving their kids stupid names.

0points

Just-A-Black-Cat-Lover 6 months ago

I really hate my own species sometimes.

0points

The Original Bruno 6 months ago

A friend at a certain government agency came across twins named Syphillus and Gonorrhea. At least they can go by Phyllis and Rhea.

0points

Auntriarch 6 months ago

Wasn't Syphilis a male name though

0points

The Original Bruno 6 months ago

What's so terrible about "Anita?" When your last name is Crotchfelt. Nice girl. A bit crazy. Not in a bad way. And no-one will ever blame the red hair for the craziness.

0points

La Lucy 6 months ago (edited)

In Jr High there was a family whose dad and BOTH sons were named Gary. Must have been Newhart fans. College had a girl named SoHappy. Yet she was not. Internship...Ebony Cherry.

0points

LakotaWolf (she/her) 6 months ago

My family owns a small business, and years ago we had two employees (twins) who were BOTH named “Santa Maria”. One went by “Santa” (they were Hispanic, so it was the Spanish pronunciation of “saint”.) The other one went by a nickname that escapes me at the moment, but it was unrelated to Maria/Mary. Santa gave birth to a daughter while working for us, and named the daughter after my sister (Melanie.) It was surreal all around XD

1point

Sleepflower 6 months ago

I once had a blood sample for an African lady who was married to an Irish chap. Her name was Baby Fiddler. Thank goodness I don't deal with patients in the lab, I was in stitches for about five minutes. I mean you'd probably just keep your maiden name right? :-D

-1point

Nicky 6 months ago

So many of these posts are racist, making fun of ethnic names. This is offensive and not funny.

-1point

Haunted Human 6 months ago

Lighten up, Francis.

0points

Thor Haugen 6 months ago

I once worked with someone named Candace Dix. I didn't actually connect why she didn't go by Candy until she made a slip of the tongue herself and called Reese Pieces something else...

-2points

Tomato Smudge 6 months ago

Someone told me they were a substitute doing roll call in class and came across the name "La-ia" and assumed it to be pronounced La Ya but the child rolled her eyes and responded, "it's La DASH she ya" like it was the most obvious thing.

-2points

Wendy Me 6 months ago

Again! No text with pictures! BP is dropping the ball.

-2points

Michael Largey 6 months ago

Where I taught, there was a family named Pigg. They named their daughters Ima and Ura. I kid you not.

-3points

Stephanie Did It 6 months ago (edited)

Kid you do, sir. The REAL Ima Hogg was the daughter of Texas Governor James Hogg, but she had no sister named Ura although that was (and still is) the tired old joke that followed. Hogg County is named after the family.

1point

POST

Ansi 6 months ago

26points

Melissa Harris 6 months ago

Some countries have rules about what you can legally name a child. Usually no military ranks or titles of royalty and nothing that could be considered 'ofensive'.

26points

weatherwitch 6 months ago

Or in the case of many of these just ridiculous for the poor child!

3points

JkNuss 6 months ago

Am I the only who can't see the majority of the names - this doesn't happen in just a few posts but all the posts in multiple articles on this site - you can't read the type it's just missing

11points

Annik Perrot 6 months ago

Happened to me when I first was here. I deleted the app and now I read straight from the Web site and see everything.

9points

Sarah Hine 6 months ago

Same here.

2points

sadmrguna 6 months ago

0points

Junking Junk 6 months ago

Happens to me in chrome. Edge doesnt do it.

0points

Lydsylou (she/her) 6 months ago

Elon and Grimes 3 kids: xæa-xII, Exa dark sidræl, techno maximus. I fell so bad for these kids

8points

- 6 months ago

Sid and Max could work in the school yard. No idea how to shorten xæa-xII.

2points

Trisec Tebeakesse 6 months ago

5points

The Original Bruno 6 months ago (edited)

5points

Trillian 6 months ago

These lists really make me appreciate Germany's naming laws.

4points

Lori T Wisconsin 6 months ago

Daughter attended high school with a girl named Sweet Peaches, and twins Chlorine & Florine!

4points

Darius S. (he/him) cis/grey 6 months ago

There used to be a missing poster at my DMV for a child named La'Treen..(felt doubly horrible for him) . also my sister taught a kid named Codeine .

3points

Guy Bare 6 months ago

I lived in a place where parents used to spell their children's name in a "fancy" way. Once on the phone a father spelled Alejandro like that : "H A L E Y R H A N D R O" 😅 sure why not sir !

3points

Montanavanna 6 months ago

When I heard a friend's boyfriends name was Johnny John-john Johnson I thought he was full of s**t. Nope, that is for real his full name.

3points

TheBlueBitterfly 6 months ago

I knew a Walter Walters.

1point

Two_rolling_black_eyes 6 months ago

3points

PFD 6 months ago

Just wait till I tell you about Mrs McCave

0points

KDS 6 months ago

3points

Mike F 6 months ago

1point

Denise Melek 6 months ago (edited)

Do those people realize that they are naming humans, and not hamsters, boats or some random object?

2points

Zoe's Mom 6 months ago

Mary Christmas, Peter Prick, Barely White (an African American woman), Parsley Green. Just a few I saw while in customer service job.

2points

Ada Hunter 6 months ago

2points

Kraneia The Dancing Dryad 6 months ago

We saved the weirdness for our kid's middle name, that way if they didn't like it they don't have to tell anyone. I went to school with a Tony Orlando. My sister attended school with a Mason Dixion.

2points

khaalidah 6 months ago

This article feels like punching down.

2points

Haunted Human 6 months ago

This comment feels like humorless cyborg.

0points

Castles 6 months ago

I always remember Britains got talent and there was this woman called Lettuce. Absolutely amazing on the violin though

1point

Maisey Myles 6 months ago

Parents that give these idiotic names to their kids should be required to start a trust fund to pay for therapy or legal fees to change their names

1point

Jay Cannaday 6 months ago

1point

Performingyak 6 months ago

Kids I've taught Safari Honey Rickadonna J Alecxsander Tenneccee (the poor girl trying to spell that in kindy) Opal, in an opal mining town.

1point

Steve Hall 6 months ago

People should have to take IQ tests before being allowed to breed!

1point

- 6 months ago

2points

Enuya 6 months ago (edited)

1point

AZ Panda 6 months ago

Customer who just had a baby named her daughter "Divine Candy"

1point

Robert Millar 6 months ago

I often make up throwaway names for comments on websites like Ada Klokk, or Andy Lockerloop, but I might just start using names like these.

1point

Tamra 6 months ago

Try "Brick Hardcheese" next. 😂

0points

PattyK 6 months ago

I once heard of a man whose first name was Misadventure.

1point

T'Mar of Vulcan 6 months ago

I work with someone whose middle name is Euthanasia.

1point

The Original Bruno 6 months ago

Oh, one more... I actually knew a Mary Christmas. In our dialect, that's only just close enough to be funny.

1point

Bettye McKee 6 months ago

I pity these children. When they get older, at least they can change it legally, but childhood is the cruelest time.

0points

Rafael 6 months ago

0points

Pawlise Glemtepassord 6 months ago

0points

Ellen Woods 6 months ago

I once met a Nefertiti and I knew a Sharon. My bad, Sha'ron. Girl, your name is SHARON!

0points

Ellen Woods 6 months ago

I met a Nefertiti and knew a Sharon. My bad, Sha'ron. Girl your name is SHARON!

0points

C Hendrix 6 months ago

I'd heard the "female" story from a cousin, the girl was student in her science class. I grew up with Ginger Root, Pam Slutz, and there was a couple in our town named Ben and Eileen Dover.

0points

Haunted Human 6 months ago

Our high school had a substitute teacher named Anita Head... :/

1point

Lexie Rayborn 6 months ago

0points

John Nelson 6 months ago

The best dentist I ever had was Dr. Paine. I guess with that name, he had to really step up.

0points

Haunted Human 6 months ago (edited)

My sedation dentist is Dr. Love... her practice name is "Gentle Dental". I once went to a chiropractor named Dr. Pain... once was quite enough.

0points

Patti 6 months ago

I'm only seeing the first sentence of each post. So some of them the name doesn't come up . Clearly this not happening to everyone. Is it happening to anyone else?

0points

Becky's Display Name 6 months ago

0points

Louplou 6 months ago

Birth announcement in the local paper was for a child named Holly Caust, I wish I was joking

0points

Tams21 6 months ago

These aren't "hilariously unfortunate" but parents willfully making their child's life immeasurably harder for the sake of a novel name.

0points

arthbach 6 months ago

One of the girls in my class was Heather Bell. Another was called Amanda Hills - nothing problematic about that, but her sister was Beverly.

0points

FunOldGuy 6 months ago

0points

Haunted Human 6 months ago

Gotta be Boston/ Mass... Massholes are real!

0points

Bex 6 months ago

0points

Scott Rackley 6 months ago

Sisters, pronounced ye-LAH-je-low and o-RAHN-je-low. I'll let you figure out the spelling.

0points

Dave M 6 months ago

0points

The Darkest Timeline 6 months ago

0points

KillerKiwi 6 months ago

I know a Bart Barton. Of all of the names, that was the one that his parents choose

0points

Elizabeth Lloyd 6 months ago

Secondary teacher here. Many moons ago I taught a Michael Hunt. He demanded to be called Mike - after his dad.

0points

Haunted Human 6 months ago

Oh Dear!

0points

Crouching hippo hidden panda 6 months ago

Most European countries won’t even let parents do this. I live in Italy and the names we chose had to be reviewed and pass first before they register a child

0points

DB 6 months ago

Went to school with a kid name Major Battles. His younger brother was named Elsegundo because he was the second child. We used to call him Number Two.

0points

marilynnberry4 6 months ago

I know of twin boys...Romance and Romantic, a girl named Princess and a Taquila

0points

Mari 6 months ago

What are those people smoking when naming their kids???

0points

SDLT010 6 months ago (edited)

Nick Kurr

0points

That Persistent Lint 6 months ago

I'm disappointed on Usnavy (pronounced Ooze-nah-vee) not being listed.

0points

geezeronthehill 6 months ago

The Heyo family in our county was doing fine until they named a daughter "Heidi ".

0points

PSimms 6 months ago

I believe most of these are fake

0points

The Doom Song 6 months ago

I wish stupid people would stop breeding and giving their kids stupid names.

0points

Just-A-Black-Cat-Lover 6 months ago

I really hate my own species sometimes.

0points

The Original Bruno 6 months ago

A friend at a certain government agency came across twins named Syphillus and Gonorrhea. At least they can go by Phyllis and Rhea.

0points

Auntriarch 6 months ago

Wasn't Syphilis a male name though

0points

The Original Bruno 6 months ago

What's so terrible about "Anita?" When your last name is Crotchfelt. Nice girl. A bit crazy. Not in a bad way. And no-one will ever blame the red hair for the craziness.

0points

La Lucy 6 months ago (edited)

In Jr High there was a family whose dad and BOTH sons were named Gary. Must have been Newhart fans. College had a girl named SoHappy. Yet she was not. Internship...Ebony Cherry.

0points

LakotaWolf (she/her) 6 months ago

1point

Sleepflower 6 months ago

-1point

Nicky 6 months ago

So many of these posts are racist, making fun of ethnic names. This is offensive and not funny.

-1point

Haunted Human 6 months ago

Lighten up, Francis.

0points

Thor Haugen 6 months ago

I once worked with someone named Candace Dix. I didn't actually connect why she didn't go by Candy until she made a slip of the tongue herself and called Reese Pieces something else...

-2points

Tomato Smudge 6 months ago

-2points

Wendy Me 6 months ago

Again! No text with pictures! BP is dropping the ball.

-2points

Michael Largey 6 months ago

Where I taught, there was a family named Pigg. They named their daughters Ima and Ura. I kid you not.

-3points

Stephanie Did It 6 months ago (edited)

1point