“AITA For Working Less After My Divorce Even Though It Means My Ex Gets Less Child Support?”
As adults, one of the most challenging decisions we face is choosing our battles. Sometimes, it’s difficult to strike a balance between the need to make a living and the desire to spend valuable time with family. But, hey, no one shoe fits all, and you should do what works best for you.
However, for one man, putting in long hours to provide for his family didn’t work in his favor. The author took to Reddit and shared how he worked tirelessly for ten years to provide an excellent standard of living for his family, only to discover his wife was cheating on him. After his divorce, the dad decided to reduce his work hours to spend more time with his kids. However, this sparked some family drama. Keep reading to find out why his ex-wife was less than thrilled with the author.
Balancing quality time with family while also ensuring financial stability is a challenging act
The author revealed how his ex-wife was angered by his reduced work hours, which meant less child support
Image credits: Mean-Description7970
The author revealed additional details regarding the child support amount, offering more insight into the financial situation
We should strive to maintain a healthy balance between work and personal life
Many of us find ourselves caught up in the demands of our jobs, often sacrificing time with our family and friends. We might do so for the opportunity to provide stability and a better future for our loved ones. However, studies reveal that poor work-life balance may greatly affect our general well-being.
Overworked employees are prone to chronic stress, which may lead to physical health problems such as hypertension and a reduced immune response. When work consumes too much of our time and energy, you might feel anxious and unproductive. Maintaining a healthy blend between work and personal life is important for our overall wellness.
However, finding equilibrium does not mean splitting time evenly between one’s job and private life alone; it involves prioritizing what matters most in your life. It means recognizing that we need to nurture relationships, have hobbies outside of work duties, and take care of our body and mind.
Abbey Sangmeister, a licensed professional counselor, points out, “Many times, people think balance is a 50/50 split but that is not always the case. For each person, the balance may look different and will shift during different seasons of their life. The important part of having balance is that the person does not feel that one area of life is draining and depleting the other.”
It’s important to identify what truly matters to us
As life progresses and priorities shift, so does our definition of balance. For instance, if you are just getting started with your career, there might be a need to prioritize work over leisure activities in order to establish yourself professionally. In contrast, parents might cut back on their work hours so they can spend more time with their children.
In this post, the dad worked long hours just to ensure his family had a better life. In the process, he might not have been able to spend valuable time with his wife or children.
Flexibility and adaptability are key to achieving a sustainable balance in life. Here, the father willingly chose to trade his $2,40,000 annual income for $1,00,000 in order to spend more time with his kids after transitioning to 50/50 custody and working locally.
We should make choices that nurture both our personal satisfaction and professional achievement
It’s essential that we regularly reassess priorities, set realistic expectations, and make conscious choices that support both our personal fulfillment and professional success. Focusing on one and neglecting the other isn’t a good idea, usually.
You can achieve a balanced lifestyle by being mindful. It means that you should try to be present in the moment. When you are at work, focus on the tasks at hand, but when you are back home, give your undivided attention to your family, enjoy a hobby, or simply relax. Another important thing is to pay attention to your physical health. The Mayo Clinic points out that an adult should aim for approximately 22 minutes of moderate activity each day.
When the dad decided to focus his energy on his kids, his ex-wife got angry because she was receiving less child support. But does that mean he should not do the things he wants to? What are your thoughts about this situation? Have you ever regretted putting work before other things?
Many believed the author’s wife was acting unreasonably
Some felt that the author wasn’t prioritizing his children’s best interests in the situation
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And once again, the YTA people are coming out to assume the Worst Case Scenario. Dad is selfish for working too much. Dad is selfish for not working enough. Kids hate spending time with him. Kids hate him for not spending time with them. I just can't imagine going through life with such a dismal view of, well, everything.
"If a tree falls in the forest and there's no one there to hear it, is the man still wrong?" - Tim Taylor. It seems that (according to reddit) if you are a guy, you can do nothing right.
Load More Replies...That last YTA vote needs therapy. All the projecting there is insane.
Definitely, of course he's the bad parent and not the mother who blew the family apart because she felt lonely in her bed /s.
Load More Replies...So the kids have everything they need now but prior he would barely see them to provide for them? That valuable change of priorities would've likely saved his marriage too. Still NTA.
If he makes $100K per year + the ex is a teacher, I get why he has to pay some child support, even tho' custody is 50/50.
YTA goes to his ex, she screwed around on him while he was working to give them the big house, trips and lifestyle they had. She literally screwed herself out of it. This man is now no longer working crazy OT hours and has 50/50 custody of his kids. He is doing the right thing for his kids and she is royalty pissed off because she is getting a lot less $$$ than she expected. I'm proud of this man for what he is doing for his kids. Is he hurt and mad at his ex for screwing other men, yrs. Does SHE deserve the YTA of hell yes!!!
In a 50/50 custody situation. It's absolutely ridiculous that he pays any child support to her. It's like he has to pay a tax for being cheated on. Let his ex get her money from the dude she cheated with.
I think in america the higher earner always just has to pay the other one money even if they don't have kids. Alimony. I can't wrap my head around it
Load More Replies...The ex-wife ought to be pleased with getting ANYTHING, when they have 50/50 percent custody. Each ought to pay their half of the kids' upkeep. Perhaps the 800$ is because OP makes a bit more money still, even after going "down" to 100 percent work. If kindergarten is 3300, they each ought to pay 1650. As he pay an additional 800, he pays 2450, while she only pays 850. And she's the cheating party!
The Ex can't see straight because she's blinded by her avarice and disappointment. They share custody 50/50 and he still pays child support: in other states a 50/50 split means no child support at all, so what is she complaining about? More importantly, the children get what they need in terms of material things and they get to see their parents equal time: that's a huge advantage to them in terms of mental health growing up. The children are ok: that's what matters. Ex has a job: if she wants a higher standard of living, get a higher-paying job or do something on the side.
She was doing something on the side, it just didn't pay.
Load More Replies...So she better have more money than her kids seeing their dad. Mom of the year. She would complain either way - lets say he stick to working overtime, then he barely has time to see kids - she would go around barking like how he doesn't spend time with them, how she has to take care of them alone.
And once again, the YTA people are coming out to assume the Worst Case Scenario. Dad is selfish for working too much. Dad is selfish for not working enough. Kids hate spending time with him. Kids hate him for not spending time with them. I just can't imagine going through life with such a dismal view of, well, everything.
"If a tree falls in the forest and there's no one there to hear it, is the man still wrong?" - Tim Taylor. It seems that (according to reddit) if you are a guy, you can do nothing right.
Load More Replies...That last YTA vote needs therapy. All the projecting there is insane.
Definitely, of course he's the bad parent and not the mother who blew the family apart because she felt lonely in her bed /s.
Load More Replies...So the kids have everything they need now but prior he would barely see them to provide for them? That valuable change of priorities would've likely saved his marriage too. Still NTA.
If he makes $100K per year + the ex is a teacher, I get why he has to pay some child support, even tho' custody is 50/50.
YTA goes to his ex, she screwed around on him while he was working to give them the big house, trips and lifestyle they had. She literally screwed herself out of it. This man is now no longer working crazy OT hours and has 50/50 custody of his kids. He is doing the right thing for his kids and she is royalty pissed off because she is getting a lot less $$$ than she expected. I'm proud of this man for what he is doing for his kids. Is he hurt and mad at his ex for screwing other men, yrs. Does SHE deserve the YTA of hell yes!!!
In a 50/50 custody situation. It's absolutely ridiculous that he pays any child support to her. It's like he has to pay a tax for being cheated on. Let his ex get her money from the dude she cheated with.
I think in america the higher earner always just has to pay the other one money even if they don't have kids. Alimony. I can't wrap my head around it
Load More Replies...The ex-wife ought to be pleased with getting ANYTHING, when they have 50/50 percent custody. Each ought to pay their half of the kids' upkeep. Perhaps the 800$ is because OP makes a bit more money still, even after going "down" to 100 percent work. If kindergarten is 3300, they each ought to pay 1650. As he pay an additional 800, he pays 2450, while she only pays 850. And she's the cheating party!
The Ex can't see straight because she's blinded by her avarice and disappointment. They share custody 50/50 and he still pays child support: in other states a 50/50 split means no child support at all, so what is she complaining about? More importantly, the children get what they need in terms of material things and they get to see their parents equal time: that's a huge advantage to them in terms of mental health growing up. The children are ok: that's what matters. Ex has a job: if she wants a higher standard of living, get a higher-paying job or do something on the side.
She was doing something on the side, it just didn't pay.
Load More Replies...So she better have more money than her kids seeing their dad. Mom of the year. She would complain either way - lets say he stick to working overtime, then he barely has time to see kids - she would go around barking like how he doesn't spend time with them, how she has to take care of them alone.
































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