8 hour day also assumed you lived and worked close by - none of this 90 min commute each way.

Yep, sadly I'm the second one but I'll never learn

Always aim to be the 2nd best in any role. Good enough to be valued, not good enough for more work.

Got my receipt right here.

And your sick leave. You’re not a hero for getting other people sick.

I USED to be that person. No more.

I like to bury my sadness at work deep down until it emerges as a mental illness

Sure. I once temped at Fox, years and years ago. Imagine my glee.

Good joke, I laughed.

Try working midnights. Two nights off feels like one. One night off feels like nothing.

The corporate overlords love this language. They want people working 40+ without overtime. It's evil.

So wrong… I get so much work done from home. Introvert here.

YES! I worked the same place for 12 years and they are in this death spiral right now and I feel like I need popcorn because I got out three years ago.

I used to work for a government department where we held meetings to discuss what should be on the agenda for the next meeting

Yeah, why should i work for a management that so inept at organising things that everything is always done 'under pressure'?

The place I used to work, they sent a trainer who had never worked in our department and had zero knowledge to train the new employees. I was assigned the mentor once they finished the training. First thing I told them is to forget whatever they have learned because she knows s**t. 'we-were-told-to-do-xyz-for-abc-situation' became a usual statement followed by my 'forget-what-she-taught-you-if-you-want-to-continue-working'. And yes, each one of them cleared the accreditation.

Boss makes a dollar. You make a dime. Take your shits on company time. Found scratched into a wooden sign on the restroom door that said," only use restroom on scheduled breaks.

We're only here for the money

Management: "No-one wants to work anymore!"

Learn and earn or turn and burn ❤️‍🔥

In all seriousness the best way to handle this as a candidate is to say "I've been offered $X" by another employer. Never disclose your salary

And get free food, and a bed

Every damn time.

If sleeping isn't fun I don't know what is

Make sure to wear gloves while hiding the body

Sensible wages, sensible taxes. Enough with the minimum wage below subsistence level. Pay according to value delivered. You'll get a surprise at how much retail and service personnel are worth.

Oh my sweet summer child.

Old blue blood money

Facts.

I found in a fortune cookie a saying that goes like this “ everyone has a photographic memory, some just don’t have film” I put that little thing on the copier, doubled the size, took that and doubled that size, cut it out and put on my wall, when my coworkers repetitively ask me the same questions I point to it

Only 5 ???

But at least I can sit around in my underwear, eat cookies, and moan about my existence.

It's not employee burouty, it's employers exploiting. Push back, work your wage.

Unless you are one of those "extroverts"

Huh...didn't know that was an option...

Oh so true. Take a five day vacation, with weekends before and after. By the end of the first day, it's like there was no time off. Nobody did s**t except put it on my desk.

Always say you are trying to quit. It makes you seem like self-improvement is your goal and gives you an out to take peaceful solo 10 minute breaks twice an hour.

can the alcoholics get a glass of wine break?

I can take a smoke break whenever I want. I tell my employees to go out and take sanity breaks about 5 times a day, too. Stepping away for any reason is good for you. The fifteen minutes mandatory break system doesn't save anyone who has to work with people. People will people at you totally off schedule and you shouldn't be required to hold a cig to go out and shake them off.

What jobs have you worked? when I was a smoker I never got a job where you were just allowed to go smoke whenever you wanted you still had to wait for you scheduled breaks and lunches, maybe if you got a job to do outside you can smoke while you are still working but that's not a break that's working.

I'm gonna pretend to smoke then

I find it advantageous to work at a job where I'm treated like an adult. "Here are your tasks." "Ok, I'll get them done." Whether or not, or when, I take a break is my choice as long as I get the job done. I used to smoke, I don't now, but I take a break when I need one.

So frickin infuriating

Smoke breaks are still a thing? I work at a hospital so that does not exist. Not complaining, I smoked, just surprised.

honestly considered taking up smoking just for the extra sit down time

I'll start.

Smokers did get more breaks in basic training for the military. and out door chores. I was emptying butt cans while others were scrubbing toilets. and I smoked while I did it. Smokes were $5.00 a carton on base. Smoke 'em if you got 'em.

Hide, Just hide every working day

The realisation that you're the reason they left

Literally got mad at my coworker when I bumped into him on the stairwell, he comes in earlier than I do and I hadn't even clocked in yet and he's tryna ask me questions and say oh I need xyz in an email I'm like ??? My guy can I CLOCK IN FIRST??

Who, exactly, did ask?

Current goals: Survive the Holidays, January: get a new PCP and get the whole body checked out, including teeth. Find out if my insurance covers a vasectomy, they are way more expensive than I thought.

nudge, nudge

Even better is when they tell you to do something that they could clearly see you're already in the process of doing, if they had even bothered to look.

Gotta love the socks!

Also fun is spending the first 15-20% of your day cleaning up the mess left behind by the previous shift, and the last 5-10% making sure there's no mess left for the next shift. Every Damn Day.

*rolls around screaming*