Number one, a grown man should know how to cook. Period. There is no excuse for a man not knowing how to cook for himself in this day and age. Helplessness is not an attractive trait, and no woman wants to play mommy to a grown man. Number two, ingratitude gets old fast. All Dale needed to say was "thank you" for the times she chose to cook for him out of the goodness of her heart. Number three, she needs to divorce her asshole husband who seems to think that she is a rent-a-serf for his low-value and lazy friends. He does NOT have her back, clearly values his idiot friend over her, and seems to view his wife as an appliance put there to make life easier for him and his gross friend. If Dale is this much of a petulant child with his friend's wife, I can only imagine how he treated his own. No wonder she got cancer and died. She's probably glad to finally be free of his lazy ass.

If you're feeling up to critiquing someone's cooking and placing requests for meals, then you should also be feeling in a position to fend for yourself. The situation has gone way beyond a nice gesture during a tough time, and now he's just taking the mick out of the situation. The most worrying part of the whole story is the lack of support from the husband.

I feel sometimes people know they’re NTA, but need that validation. No person you aren’t the asshole. Dale and your husband are. You’re not a personal chef and he’s insane to treat you as such. I would be super offended if someone critiqued my meal I gifted for free and that for me (because I have no filter) would be me telling him off months ago. If it’s not good enough, make your own damn food. Ramen noodles are around $.25. Add some roast beef from the deli and bean sprouts and boom you got your own noodle bowl.

The guys in this story seem to think they're living in 1955.

What a bizarre situation you have gotten yourself into with a husband who is as much of an a**hole as is his abusive, disrespectful "friend". This is intolerable, parasitic behaviour, mourning or not.

Dale and your husband are playing you for the sucker. The fact that neither of them are working is even more reason to tell them..."How nice...you and Dale can learn how to cook together!" And if my husband had told me that I was over-reacting to the situation, I'd turn to him, look him dead in the eye and say "I can always stop cooking for you too! Now that would be over-reacting!" Stop letting them walk all over you. They have the free time...let them cook for themselves!

I'd suggest buying your husband a beginners cookbook, and telling him to go over to Dale's one night a week, and the two of them can cook and eat together. It's more supportive to spend time with him and help him learn an essential life skill than to keep enabling his selfishness.

I am sorry and I do hope I am not the only one that believes a sentence should never start with “so and so think/believes” specially when is about a couple -husband/ wife, girlfriend/ boyfriend and a third wheel. I am sorry for his loss, but Dale should get a job and order food or learn how to cook.

Sympathies Dale but GET OFF YOUR FKN ASS AND DO SOMETHING DALE!!!! As for her husband.... When you show a weakness people jump on that to their advantage!

I have a feeling that these are written to elicit the most angry response. Each sentence successively sucks you deeper and deeper into hating not only hating Dale but the husband as well. Masterfully written.

Her husband and Dale are the assholes, of course her husband is not going to understand how she feels because he is not the one being burdened all the time. Dale is a grown up man, he should start cooking for himself and should also stop leeching out of the girl and the nerve to even ask her to cook for his guests... I'm pretty sure he also expected for her to buy the ingredients! She is not responsible for her partner's best friend and her husband should be ashamed of himself for acting like this.

This has just got to be coming from a culture who historically has placed a low value on women and neglects to teach boys how to take care of themselves. There's so much societal pressure to conform and I really applaud this woman for standing her ground.

It sounds like Dale had gotten to the point i using you. People that use other people will ask more and more and think you are a pushover or something. Dale may have been that way. He could of been telling people that he was scamming you for the free food. And if you were making good stuff, even better, a fresh salad, lasagna, and garlic bread is awesome to somebody that only eats cereal all the time. But if Dale was in so much grief he really couldn't take care of himself then your husband's empathy is not wrong. It's just a matter if figuring out if you were being played or not. I knew a guy in his early 40's that lived at home with his parents. He was always drinking my beer and eating my food. I didn't think anything of it. He was my friend and I don't mind giving friends what's mine. Then he came over and I wasn't home, he told me roommate he was going to eat and drink while I was gone, then told my roommate that I was a pushover. He said Dave's an idiot or something like that.

You husband is behaving like a jackass. Tell him that if he really wants to "help" Dale, he can move in with his best friend and they can cook for themselves. You are not a catering service, and you owe Dale NOTHING. ...///... He'd be a lot better off if he'd get up off his a**e and got a job.

Basic life skills such as cooking and cleaning should not be gender based. They are just that, life skills. We all should have them. And I will join the rest of the comments and say that the problem here is not Dale, but it’s clearly your husband. Dale is simply taking advantage in a time of need - many people will. I think your husband should move in with Dale and they can both live happily ever after. His level of concern for Dale and not for you, is disturbing to say the least.

You'd be totally in the right here to say something along the lines of "you're always criticizing my cooking, not sure why you'd want me to continue to do it for you, and a large party of your friends."

My answer to this is your husband's friend as difficult as the situation is, is not the first person to go through this and he won't be the last. As a human being you have been the victim of emotional blackmail and you allowed yourself to buy into it. There should have been some ground rules set up from the beginning especially in light of your highly demanding and difficult job. There has been no consideration towards you or your position! You do not owe anyone a thing and you are well within your rights to feel like you do, I commend you for tolerating it for as long as you did.

buy your hubby and Dale a cook book , end of

Dale needs to learn how to cook. Is he expecting other people to cook for him until he dies of old age?

I would block Dale's number.

I s all this true? I am wondering now...

Stop cooking for Jerk #1 and Divorce Jerk#2. I get so sick of people having to do something because others can't. It's cooking. It can be learned.

Ufff, Dale es un vivo que no sabe hacer nada y se dió cuenta cuando su esposa murió. Que ponga la frente en alto y encamine su vida, al final está viviendo de los demás. Menos mal que no tiene hijos, sino se morirían de hambre con un padre así. ¿Y ese marido? Mi marido me llega a decir que le cocine a su amigo y lo mando a la mierda con insulto y todo.... A ver si él se pondría a trabajar de mucamo y cocinero a alguna amiga mía. Dios, las cosas que hay que leer....

I'm on her side. Dale and her husband have got a heck of a nerve expecting her to offer unpaid chef service...and criticizing as well!

With the price of groceries these days. this is asking too much. Plus the time, and know how it takes to prepare a meal, again too much. It would be easier to just give Dale money for him to order out, (it would save the time and labor).

I am so mad! This is crazy!

To cook one or two meals at the time is kind, and completely fine. But to expect someone else to be your sole meal provider months on, someone, I might add, who's busy busting thier ass in healthcare during a global pandemic? GTFO with that nonsense.

Wow she is so nice. That Dale guy need to move on and help himself. He need to find a job and stop depending on other people. I work 12 hours in a big hospital too and when i get out from work i am super exhausted. I can't believe that she still have time for this parasite.

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Dale doesn't work. He could do with a hobby. Cooking would be perfect for passing time and he could bond with his friends and thank them with inviting them for the meals he prepares sometime. TA-DAAA!

Not being able to cook is the biggest lie if there ever was one. Everyone who is able to live a halfway normal life can cook. Period. Maybe not free-style or big complicated dishes. But theres thousands of recipes with step-by-step instructions and still simple and nutritious. You literally just follow a script. Not any different from normal work, or school, or getting dressed! First underwear, then pants, opposite around is only allowed for superheroes. With Youtube its even easier nowadays. Everyone who says they can’t cook is lying, and maybe even lying to themseves. You might be lazy, not in the mood, overwhelmed(start smaller?), or in case of the article being cheap and lazy! but can not? Nope.