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It’s hard to stand in someone else’s shoes. Especially when it comes to the opposite gender. So when someone asked the women of Reddit what they think would be the worst thing about being a man, the answers flooded in. 37.6K comments later, it became obvious that a lot of redditors get it.

The male gender is a tough role to play and you’re constantly expected to act in a certain way. Hence, one woman replied that the stigma around being a guy is already tough. Another said that “not having your emotions taken seriously” would be the hardest part. Let’s dive into some of the most honest responses that will make us rethink the things about gender that we take for granted.

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#1

My father was a single parent raising a young girl at a private catholic gradeschool. He went to all my girlscout parent meetings, came to all the mom-daughter and dad-daughter events like dances and breakfasts, and even volunteered every year for the school’s bake-off (usually only moms participated). He did all these stereotypical motherly events so I wouldn’t feel left out. But he got heavily judged and ridiculed by other mothers solely because he wasn’t my mom and therefore shouldn’t be allowed to participate. The community there was so catty and everyone gossiped about him. Yes he was a single dad, but he also admitted he would wanna do that stuff anyway because he wanted to spend time with his daughter. Couldn’t imagine being judged for wanting to hang with your kid at a baking contest and being told it’s wrong.

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#2

“I was raped”

“Haha good one”

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Foxxy (The Original)
Foxxy (The Original)
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4 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yup, this one irks me a lot. We wonder why men are the biggest risks of suicide when they are made to feel weak, as a joke, unbelieved etc when it comes to abuse, mental illness etc. We need to do more as a society to prevent it and help these men before it’s too late.

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#3

Probably the stigma. I've seen a single father get shouted at for being with his kid when at a park for 'trying to kidnap children'. The dude wanted to make his son happy, not molest him ffs.

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Foxxy (The Original)
Foxxy (The Original)
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have heard a few cases like this. A single father was checking into a hotel with his daughter but the police were called because they suspected him of trafficking kids. A man was moved on an aeroplane because he was sitting next to an unaccompanied minor and had a woman sit there instead. Men are often seen as perpetrators first. Guilty until found innocent.

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Recently, there has been a surge in discussions about so-called traditional gender roles and norms. Last year, the American Psychological Association released 10 guidelines for psychologists working with males. It has addressed a variety of problematic points related to “traditional masculine ideology” like gender role strain, oppression, and gender bias. The experts who worked on the guidelines have concluded that suppressed emotions in men "cause damage that echoes both inwardly and outwardly.”

Fredric Rabinowitz, a professor of psychology at the University of Redlands, believes that these men who feel oppressed by gender roles have their emotional being deteriorate with time. “We see that men have higher suicide rates, men have more cardiovascular disease, and men are lonelier as they get older,” he told The New York Times. Helping to expand their emotional repertoire is key to tackling such psychological problems. “We don’t try to take away the strengths that men have.”

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#4

I would not be allowed a moment of weakness. Bad day? You can't cry unless your mother just died. Hurt yourself? Suck it up and go to the hospital. Feeling self conscious about your body? Nobody cares. Feeling ill? SoMOne HaS a MaN COld!!!!!

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Claes Gustavsson
Claes Gustavsson
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What? I cry quite often – most of the time are dogs involved, music or general kindness.

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#5

"Oh, you got stuck taking care of the kids today, huh? Giving Mom a day off, finally?"

Dads know what I'm talking about.

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LOttawa
LOttawa
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hated when my boyfriend got told he babysat.... Not baby sitting when he's raising her and taking care of her.

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#6

Being sexually assaulted by a female and people telling me that I'm "lucky".

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Colin L
Colin L
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, the crappy flipside to "what were you wearing?" is "Was she pretty?" A victim is a victim... nobody asks for it, should be told to feel grateful for the attention, or ... ffs, how do people mess up empathy so badly?!?

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Bored Panda contacted Donatas Paulauskas, the senior advisor at the Office of the Equal Opportunities Ombudsperson and asked him about some of the most common male gender stereotypes.

Donatas told us that one of the most unjust, yet very common, stereotypes about men is that they aren’t emotional. “Men tend to exhibit fewer emotions due to their upbringing, and that’s why they can’t identify and express their feelings as well as most women.” Throughout the years, men learn to hide their emotions and keep them all to themselves in order not to appear unmanly.

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The term “toxic masculinity” has recently come into the spotlight. “It refers to the radical concept of masculinity.” Donatas explained: “it’s characterized by aggression, anger, disdaining view of fellow men and women, and denial of one’s emotions and vulnerability.” Toxic masculinity is viewed as harmful because it’s toxic to the man and those around him.
#7

As a woman, I will never, ever have any doubt that my children are mine.

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Foxxy (The Original)
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well sadly there have been many times where the babies have been switched at birth.

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#8

Hands down always being the villain. a colleague of mine was a bit on the heavier side, but decided to get into shape and started jogging. so he jogs around his block daily until his smart watch tells him his quota for the day is full. that day he was a bit late but went for a jog when the sun was setting. not many people out there, but as he was on his way, some girls saw him jogging their way, got scared and called the cops on him for obviously trying to chase them to rape them or something. now, the guy didn't know about the call, he just sees two girls seeing him coming, turning around and running away and he's like 'what the f**k?' until the cops come for him. you know, for the biggest offence in the whole human history: trying to get fit. i felt really bad for him.

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K.
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That sucks!! Let’s work towards a society where women, including trans women, don’t feel on edge in the dark or in strange environments.

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#9

Having a higher suicide rate but depression and other mental illnesses being pretty taboo.

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Kaisu
Kaisu
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hopefully soon it'll become less of a taboo and men can openly discuss mental health issues with each other and be there for each other

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But Donatas warns that toxic masculinity should not be seen as equal to the traditional view of masculinity. “This one has a lot of positive features like courage, determination, and confidence.” Only when we emphasize these features too much, men are pressured into being supermen. And that, of course, is impossible.

Luckily, more and more modern men are willing to get rid of the stereotypes. “Men are more active in searching for their inner voice, authenticity, and are becoming less afraid of coming across as unmanly.” Donatas believes that there should be an active movement towards changing the old-fashioned standards of masculinity in our societies.
#10

Being expected to be the "breadwinner" generally by society

Being less likely to gain custody of my own kids in a separation

Being "disposable" in times of war

DIY.

And... Having to deal with my own balls. What if I sat on one. Ouch.

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Colin L
Colin L
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why don't we figure out a person's worth as they grow? Every person I know has different strengths and weaknesses. And no person is disposable.

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#11

Being arrested for defending myself against an abusive partner.

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WilvanderHeijden
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes, it's strange how cops (and the total legal system) are prejudiced in cases of domestic violence.

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#12

I think the "gay panic" stuff would be the most annoying. Guys can't make physical contact other than punching each other in the shoulder or high-fiving without it being considered gay. Sometimes I wanna give my friend a platonic hug or touch their hair or something, and if I was a man I'd probably be afraid to do that.

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Kaisu
Kaisu
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4 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Physical affection between men has historically been much more common than it is nowadays. Nowadays it's the toxic masculinity born out of the stereotype of the masculine, macho man that has brought with it the notion that guys being affectionate with each other somehow indicates that they're gay.

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#13

People expecting that I could fight.

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#14

Not having your emotions taken seriously, then lashing out because of it and then seen as violent because you just want to be understood. I had that with abusive parents but normally people don't treat me that way because I'm a woman. I can't imagine what an entire life of not having your feelings acknowledged in a healthy way feels like.

"Suck it up and be a man"

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Colin L
Colin L
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have always hated the phrase "man up." Fc*k your artificial purity tests for stoicism and machismo. I hurt, I feel, I cry, and sometimes I need help.

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#15

Being in a crowded urinal. Everyone has the dicks out standing next to each other. Like what the f**k just make stalls why have them in the open.

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Branden Hart
Branden Hart
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thats why WE don't have queues at events - 4 to a urinal - and remember the rule, dont look, point or aim at anyone else!

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#16

I'd be afraid to be a male teacher. How easy would it be to give a girl student a grade a failing grade they deserve or just pissing them off any kind of way, but it's a crazy one who ends up accusing you of something awful?

While that's specific, it's a general fear. Just the accusation itself will cost you your career.

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Colin L
Colin L
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm a math professor, and every once in a while a student tries to flirt with me... it gets weird, and I shut it down fast. I'm pretty sure it's just toxic tools from the female camp (not flattering when you recognize it as manipulative).

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#17

Being a father of a daughter or even babysitting. The complete mistrust that people give them is astonishing. If she starts throwing a tantrum in public, people always assume the worst. I would want my daughter to give my husband hugs and love him the same as she would love me in public but people just view it differently.

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#18

The constant pressure in society that the man has to pay for meals, drinks, etc. I feel like it all would add up really quickly.

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Colin L
Colin L
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ah, the joy of being a walking wallet. (Yeah, objectification can go both ways)

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#19

Being considered a possible threat by strangers, probably. Like, I get it, you never know, but it would probably suck.

Either that or the dick and balls. Like, they’re just dangling there? Are they in the way? How do you straddle stuff? Will you accidentally squish them? Do you have to like, tuck them into your underwear?

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Colin L
Colin L
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh yes... they are sensitive, and they change shape during the day. We're not trying to be crass, adjustments are just periodically needed.

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#20

Most women think there's nothing wrong with being abusive and cruel with men. It's so upsetting watching women treat men like absolute s**t. To top it off, men are expected to still act like "a gentleman" and also they're not allowed to feel vulnerable, or to feel sad, angry because some lady was just "a little sassy" when in reality she was being abusive piece of s**t

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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Abusive women can employ many different methods to hurt. While I don’t agree with it, I have to put my two cents on the table. As a society, we don’t allow women to be assertive and reprimand them for having unpleasant feelings/behavior, so they resort to passive-aggressiveness and actual violence when overwhelmed and usually directed towards their partner. I am aware that in many pockets of developed countries, you see more assertive women. I am aware that men can be passive-aggressive too. I’m just offering an observation for some people’s behavior. Also, they may be expected to act like a gentlemen and a proper lady, but abusers don’t adhere to that and do employ a variety of methods to hurt and diminish their partners. Sometimes it’s not even intentionally insidious, but a relic that has been ingrained by human behavior. Psychology is a relatively new field, and not everyone has access to therapy or ways to modulate their toxic behavior.

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#21

Probably being forced to never... well, feel. There are so many people who make fun of guys for having feelings or even showing them. I would never be able to deal with it, and my heart broke the day my boyfriend told me his exes used to verbally abuse him for crying in front them.

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Helen Haley
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If someone makes fun of a guy for having feelings, that is the other persons issue, not the guys. Guys are totally allowed and encouraged to have feelings. So much healthier.

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#22

Having to chase after women. I’d give up halfway, honestly.

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Kaisu
Kaisu
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You shouldn't have to chase after anyone. If someone is clearly not interested in spending time with you, then accept that and move on. It's definitely not fair for you if you have to chase after someone

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#23

I would be terrified of my dick getting stuck in a zipper

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#24

Being expected to be more effective at physical labor, being expected to do more dangerous work, receiving less empathy when struggling with emotional issues.

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Draco Malfoy
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The amount of times that the lack of being able to share emotion has come up is quite sad. I think these stereotypes need to change

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#25

Having to be the person physically in charge in a threatening situation. Like always being with a man when walking home from a party in a sketchy area at night. Yes there is safety in numbers but the dude is expected to be protective regardless of level of awareness, self defensive, or drunkenness. That’s a lot of pressure.

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Draco Malfoy
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That sucks. Nobody should ever feel like they are being pressured into something that they don't want to do.

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#26

How is DYING 7 YEARS SOONER not on the list?

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Zachary Goldstein
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Because we all are human. at the end of the day, we know that we all are going to die and we don't treat it any differently than females do.

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#27

Trans woman here. I guess I have a unique perspective because I've lived life on both sides of the coin in many ways. Things that suck about being a guy: You are always expected to be the initiator/pursuer You are not permitted by society to be expressive in your appearance There's an extreme woman-favoring asymmetry in dating apps, which like it or not, is how many young couples meet nowadays Compliments are few and far between Nobody gives a [crap] how you feel, nor do they want to hear about it If you do not have a requisite level financial success, you are worthless Nobody wants to be affectionate with you unless you're dating them, and even then, your needs for physical affection are misconstrued for needs for sex

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Kaisu
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4 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm a woman but I've definitely noticed that a lot of men have issues with people not being platonically physically affectionate with them even when they might need it. You can't be physically affectionate with male friends because that's "gay" and female friends might take it as you hitting on them. I'm really sorry for any guy who has to feel like they don't get the platonic physical affection they need and I hope we can change this soon!

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#28

Only 1 orgasm at a time.

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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know some women never get to, or not till their 30's etc but I'm telling you when faced with a girl who can rattle 'em off rapid fire, it feels so unfair, especially if it's not easy for you to get yours. Plus, we have the pressure of staying hard. Can't fake that.

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#29

Overall, I think it’s more difficult for guys to get dates.

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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You "think"? Go to a dating app. It's full of women complaining about getting too many messages to respond to. There are BUSTED women with profiles who come off as shitheads who complain about too much attention. Men are absolutely societally expected to ask for the girl's number, or ask for the date etc. It's awesome when a girl takes initiative.

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#30

Balding for sure

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Ben Smith
Ben Smith
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Eh big deal. It’s 1000 times worse to be a woman with thinning hair.

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