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Even though we can, at almost any time, Google everything in the world, there is still no way to surpass lived experiences. So, for example, if you are a man, you have no idea what it’s like to live as a woman. Fortunately, one can always ask someone about their life to learn a bit more.
Someone made a post, asking “Women: What is a struggle that women have that men will never fully understand?” and netizens shared their thoughts. So get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote the posts that you relate to or that taught you something new and be sure to share your thoughts in the comments below.
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#1
Living in a country where politicians force women to give birth and never even mentioned the responsibility of the father.
#2
Periods. Hormones. Unsafe at night (sometimes day time too). Unsafe to travel alone in some countries. Unsafe to meet strangers on dating apps. Expected to clean and cook for 2 or more people every day. Being told by doctors it's normal to be in pain. Medical standard doses calculated for men and not women. Opinions and feelings often ignored in family talks or at work. Seatbelts calculated to bring optimal safety to men's bodies but not to women's. And a few more things.
#3
That a man’s uninformed opinion is always taken more seriously than a woman’s lived experience
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 5 months ago
Did a man tell you that? (Before I get crucified, this comment is a joke.)
#4
The unspeakable fatigue of being a women. The hormones, the vigilance, the fear, the need to do things to be seen, heard, paid, acknowledged on that same platforms as men. The expectation to nurture, pander, care, remember, remind and source for everyone else. I’m. Just. So. Tired.
Lyoness 5 months ago
Agreed. What I struggle with is the common societal belief that somehow things are already equal. Feminism is common, right? Women already broke the glass ceiling, right? Men are SAHP too, right? All are true, but that doesn't make things equal for men and women. We're expected to do it all - work, parent, cook, clean, because it's the rare male who'll take it on, and those who do are praised to the skies for "helping" or "babysitting". No, it's their job too. Statistically women make less money, have more familial responsibility and are more likely to experience abuse of any kind. So while there's been progress, no, things are not equal.
#5
The feeling of knowing exactly how to solve a problem but knowing that the man in front of you doesn't accept answers from women.
Sue Denham 5 months ago
And feeling their annoyance when you tell them the answer to something and they know you're right.
#6
Exercising with a big chest absolutely sucks. No sports bra really works once you’re over a DDD. Imagine jogging with a two one-liter bottles of Coke strapped to your ribcage. My husband went for a run shirtless today, and I can’t even begin to imagine how effing amazing that must feel.
#7
Not a struggle but gripe.Men are SHALLOW. Many guys look for sexual accommodation without a psychological connection. Guys have demonstrated the inability to mentally satisfy me so I CANNOT ACCOMMODATE sexual desires. Sex would bore ME without a connection that is "meaningful to ME." I do not care that you like what you see. Looks mean nothing to me nor does the size of your ego when I'm mentally turned off. It's not hard to understand but when you're shallow, it is..
#8
Fear. The fear that passing a man while alone on a dark street could lead to a sexual assault and/or death. Not to mention the fear when it’s a group of men.
#9
We live in a world that hates women.
Sue Denham 5 months ago
We need to ensure that at least half of the world doesn't. As women we need to love ourselves.
#10
Life really.
Growing up with choices limited, being groomed constantly, put down, leered at, groped, puberty, periods, period pain, pms, gynae problems, medical dismissal, chronic illness, gaslighting, mansplaining, sexual abuse, sexual assault, ‘the biological clock’, body shaming, pregnancy, pregnancy complications, childbirth, childbirth complications, post-natal depression, breast-feeding, doing it all again 2 years later, miscarriages, autoimmune illness, career damage, inequality..
Lyoness 5 months ago
My favourite story about medical dismissal are the doctors who developed the IUD. Starting with Ernest Grafenberg and the men (all male doctors) who developed the device, insertion and removal aren't painful because there are no nerves in the cervix. Sadly our cervixes don't know this. The problem today is the continued belief that there's no need for pain management during these procedures. That's just wrong. Experiences vary but I know several women (and I am one of them) who had significant pain and/or a vagal response. Anyone who claims severe cramping, bleeding, nausea, blurred vision and fainting are symptoms that don't require treatment is out of their GD mind.
#11
Perimenopause.
Lyoness 5 months ago
I'd love if this was higher up. It's something so few people talk about but it can seriously f you up. It can start as early as your late 30s and last 10 years or more, hot flashes, night sweats, hormonal fluctuations and all, you just get to keep having periods. But they'll be irregular. It's like a special slice of f*ck you to round out your meal of being female. Welcome to womanhood.
#12
That women have to "fight for rights" to be human
Lyoness 5 months ago
Sadly there are a lot of people who believe the fight is over and we have enough. No, we don't. We should have the right to make decisions about our own bodies and access to the support and programs we need to do so. We deserve equal pay for equal work and equal opportunities for jobs. We have a right not to be abused or assaulted by our partners or family members or even strangers. We should have access to the same education men have. We need to normalise both parents' contribution to childcare (Dads aren't babysitting, they're parenting). This is just a small portion of what we're still fighting for. There's a long, long way to go before we get close to having the same rights as men. And before the incels come for me, to be clear, this isn't about women's rights being more important than men's rights, it's about our rights being important TOO.
#13
The way we are expected to do everything to placate men. Be pretty, but not so pretty you look unapproachable. Wear make up, but not so it looks like you're wearing make up. Don't earn more than men because that's emasculating, but don't ask men for money because that's gold digging. Be smart, but not smarter than men. If you don't go to the gym you're lazy, but if you do you're just attention seeking. It goes on...
#14
You must be beautiful. But not so beautiful you look like you are trying to get attention.
TheNewJenBrady 5 months ago
The songs I hate the most are those where the guy sings about how beautiful a woman is, and especially because she doesn't know how beautiful she is. Lol like he's extra attracted to her because she has low self confidence?
#17
Being in a relationship and doing the bulk of the physical work and ALL the mental work. Getting groceries when they're almost out, getting everyone to appointments, practices, recitals on time. Shopping for clothes or shoes when the kids need something. Men weaponizing their incompetence so they can get out a particular task.
StrangeOne 5 months ago
LOL On the flip side, that was an excuse to not have to cover someone's shift (that I always got stuck as the default) when I was working odd shifts. Not like anyone was willing to cover for me when I was bedridden sick. Men who try to BS their way out of doing what they're supposed to be helping with are just adult children who still bring their laundry to their parent's house for his mom to do. Mature men want to be thought of an competent and important to the relationship and family.
#18
Being fearful to reject a flirty advance out of safety concerns.
#19
Not being able to fight a guy off
TheNewJenBrady 5 months ago
Seriously the strength difference is pretty shocking. When I was in the best shape of my life I challenged my brother in law to a pushup contest and beat him by an almost embarrassing amount. Later I tried to arm wrestle him and was shocked by how weak my grip and arm strength was in comparison. He wasn't much bigger than me and yes I was in better shape and could do more pushups than him, but he easily overpowered me in a harmless contest and it's scary to know how it would be almost impossible to get out of a similar grip in a dangerous, nefarious situation with a man
#20
The full body changes our bodies go through when creating a tiny person.
The horrendous pain things like PCOS and Endometriosis put us through, the second being so serious of a disease that we can d!e
The fact that the female body has not been closely studied in the medical field even though professionals are fully aware that we are not just small men.
Linda Gilliam 5 months ago
I can vouch for the endometriosis. Mine was so bad that they ended up giving me a hysterectomy at 31 y.o.
#21
The struggles with feminine health and fibroids..If men only knew the hell fibroids can wreak on our bodies, and how delicate the female reproductive system is, I'd like to think they'd be a little more understanding
#22
We can't say no without giving a "reasonable" answer. No is a full sentence. Also, "I don't want to". Same. Don't need reasoning. We don't need to explain ourselves so man feel good about themselves. For example, I won't say, sorry, I don't want to be with you because you're so great and something is wrong with me. I'll say, I don't want to. That's it.
#23
Thinking about going for a countryside walk alone to get more exercise but deciding not to because I am worried that a lot of the walk is out of public view and what if someone attacks me?
StrangeOne 5 months ago
There was a lady who went missing during a walk along the perimeter highway in my area. She was missing for about a year or so. She was kidnapped. No one knew who was the perp. It put people nervous about going for walks. Turns out she was kidnapped and killed by someone she knew and they finally caught him.
#24
I mean, America Ferreras entire monologue in the Barbie movie.
#25
The salary difference. Women can be in the same position and still earn less.
StrangeOne 5 months ago
If that's the case, I would look into discriminatory wage practices and bring it up with the Human Rights Commission.
#26
Bodyshaming, fatshaming, lookism. I do not know any man who is as self - conscious about the way his body looks as the "most attractive" woman. One more thing... The constant fear of getting pregnant unintendedly even if you use birth control.
#27
Constant fear of violence & abuse. We have to be HYPERVIGILANT about who we allow in our lives. Bc even ppl who pretend to be good can actually be abusive.
Peeka_Mimi 5 months ago
My last ex. It's been over 6 years and after him I still have no desire to date.
#28
Having to prove your competence at work, sometimes for months or even years before people begin to take you seriously.
Content Wombat 5 months ago
And sometimes you're never taken seriously, as even if you are competent you're still "just" a woman :(
#30
A constant fear of being attacked…not being able to walk alone at night…being concerned going to a car in a parking garage, getting out drinks drugged at a bar…and on and onand on. Nevet really being safe, simply for being a woman.
#31
Feeling guilty your entire adult life for going out of the house not wearing a bra.
Helen Mary Mutch 5 months ago
Yes! I've always hated the way my nipples "betrayed" my body, whether I was cold or simply the way my own shirt brushed up on them. And now at almost 50 years old I'm still ashamed, because of weight gain and just age, they are droopy and not even, well, even! I hate talking to a man and while I'm making eye contact I can see his eyes slither down 🤮
#32
Doctors ignoring pain, the weight obsession and how many mammograms resulting in callbacks for further tests.
Lena Flising 5 months ago
Doctors with specialties where weight is completely irrelevant, say an ear doctor or a dentist, saying "you are overweight and probably have diabetes, I'll book some tests for that". The mental triumf when you don't have diabetes (yet, anyway) when you are tested. ANY doctor who uses the BMI to measure ONE person. That scale is created to measure populations, groups of people, not for individuals. It makes no difference between fat or muscles, so a very fit person with lots of muscles (that weigh more than fat) is told to have a BMI that is too high. MD's ought to know this.
#33
Men acting like they have any idea what it’s like to be a woman with a 28 day (sometimes longer) hormone cycle! There’s literally 4 phases where each phase, our dang hormones fluctuate & sometimes we literally feel like we are losing our minds. They think we are just being dramatic. It’s not just the cramps, bro. It’s 28 days of it all. Men have a 24 hr cycle, THATS IT. It would be lovely if men would do some research on how the woman’s body works.
#34
That we are viewed as objects in a mostly man ruled world. As well as the fact that our image has everything to do with the way we are viewed as existing creatures, instead of just humans.
Amelia Jade 5 months ago
A friend of mine was married to this guy that I thought was a really nice guy. He was heavily involved in their religious community. He was a super involved dad. He just seemed like a great guy. She let me read a letter he wrote her when they were having issues. There was so much about that letter that was just devastating. I'd have been a wreck if my husband wrote the words he did. One of the things he said was that he judges all women on first meeting them by how f@!$able they are and if they're worth his time. Even knowing he'll never get at chance to f them, he still judges them. If he doesn't find them worthy, he doesn't give them the time of day. They're worth nothing to him. This from a married man who wasn't actually seeking to sleep with these women. But if he couldn't even fantasize about you, then you're nothing. It's so gross knowing some men are like this.
#35
Fronting up to work having just had a miscarriage
#36
Being able to be ambitious, have a demanding career and children. Somehow that’s expected from men, but women are bad mothers when they want the same.
Ephemera Image 5 months ago
Not being respected for NOT wanting a child, as if we are some kind of mental aberrant! I never wanted children. Just no. Doesn't mean I hate them or don't respect those that do, it's just not for me.
#37
Finding job when u are 20-35yo. If u don't have kids they assume that u will start a family soon. And they don't want to pay for your maternity leave. Even if u tell them u don't want kids...If u have small kids then they think u will be at home all the time because kids are ill very often. In both scenarios u are not hired. They rather choose man
#39
Sneezing on day 2 of your period.
Susan Reid Smith 5 months ago
Same with coughing. And my boss asking if I really needed to use the toilet again after 15 minutes.
#40
that you do not get the same opportunities and exposure as men but also have to be SIGNIFICANTLY better than them to be acknowledged. make it make sense.
#42
Listening to your husband tell you how silly you are for taking safety precautions instead of locking the door when he leaves.
#43
For people who are in the situation where it's remotely possible to unintentionally get pregnant, the worry that you might have gotten pregnant.
And sometimes when you're absolutely sure you're not pregnant, you'll decline an alcoholic drink or mention your period is running late, and someone will accuse you of being pregnant.
#44
Living in a women’s body in this world.
StrangeOne 5 months ago (edited)
I notice the pressure isn't coming from men, but other women. We compare ourselves a lot to other females, and other females know it. We get more criticism of our looks by other women. If you think about it, men don't care about how perfect our eyebrows look, they actually hate the eyelash extension and super long, pointy nails, and most, average men, really don't care about our weight that much. Good hygiene, a decent personality, self-confidence, being self-efficient is enough. If not, they're not for you.
#45
The fact that because we are attractive to men, they think they can get us to do/say/be anything for them. And they will treat us well until they get what they want, and then it’s like we never existed.
Lena Flising 5 months ago
"You're sooo beautiful, you're a goddess." "Sorry, I'm not interested in dating right now." "Well, you're too ugly to date anyway!".
#47
Loss of sexual desire.
StrangeOne 5 months ago
I would rather just cuddle. A back massage feels 1000% better than sex at this point. What's insulting is when people say "You must have never had good sex hahaha". Not at all. I've just experienced it and I'm tired. Sex is very physically demanding and just don't have the energy for it anymore, it's messy, sweaty, and can be uncomfortable. Perhaps those people never had a good back massage, getting your knots kneaded. It can feel orgasmic.
#48
Being attracted to your number one predator, then being shamed for being weary of them.
#49
How they are the biggest threat we face all day everyday
#50
pregnancy & periods.
What do you think ?
ExRoot 5 months ago
As a woman I have had this conversation many many times. Now as a black woman I want you to take all of the above and now add in the let's call it ever so slight nuance of being a black woman. Take all of what we agreed upon above and add being black In this country add another level.
Tamra 5 months ago
You are absolutely right. As far as discrimination, inequality, and medical treatment, among other things, black women absolutely have it the hardest.
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Shmee 5 months ago
My friend was telling me that once she was at a public pool and an older man called her "sweetheart" while 100% was staring at her breasts. She is a minor btw, so it just really makes me want to carbonate this guy's bloodstream.
"Disembodied voice" 5 months ago
I can't imagine calling an adult that isn't a significant other "Sweetheart". That's gross
Load More Replies...
Dainty72 5 months ago
One thing I have as a woman and I see this on a daily basis is women (not all) don't champion other women! We all know the struggles of being in a male dominated world but WE can be so nasty/b****y and jealous! We should celebrate confidence, good brains, beauty, success etc because not all men do, so WE should celebrate each other as this is an AH world that we have to fight to be noticed, but we can be awful at times! Celebrate all the differences we have because we need to understand that no matter what/how a woman is, there's a place for her! If we don't, no-one will!!!!
Freya the Wanderer 5 months ago
We women need to stand together and never mind our varying skin colors, ethnic backgrounds, etc. Remember the great song by the late Helen Reddy. We need to unite and fight for our rights. Look what happened when the Suffragettes banded together and raised hell.
Load More Replies...
ExRoot 5 months ago
As a woman I have had this conversation many many times. Now as a black woman I want you to take all of the above and now add in the let's call it ever so slight nuance of being a black woman. Take all of what we agreed upon above and add being black In this country add another level.
Tamra 5 months ago
You are absolutely right. As far as discrimination, inequality, and medical treatment, among other things, black women absolutely have it the hardest.
Load More Replies... Shmee 5 months ago
My friend was telling me that once she was at a public pool and an older man called her "sweetheart" while 100% was staring at her breasts. She is a minor btw, so it just really makes me want to carbonate this guy's bloodstream.
"Disembodied voice" 5 months ago
I can't imagine calling an adult that isn't a significant other "Sweetheart". That's gross
Load More Replies... Dainty72 5 months ago
One thing I have as a woman and I see this on a daily basis is women (not all) don't champion other women! We all know the struggles of being in a male dominated world but WE can be so nasty/b****y and jealous! We should celebrate confidence, good brains, beauty, success etc because not all men do, so WE should celebrate each other as this is an AH world that we have to fight to be noticed, but we can be awful at times! Celebrate all the differences we have because we need to understand that no matter what/how a woman is, there's a place for her! If we don't, no-one will!!!!
Freya the Wanderer 5 months ago
We women need to stand together and never mind our varying skin colors, ethnic backgrounds, etc. Remember the great song by the late Helen Reddy. We need to unite and fight for our rights. Look what happened when the Suffragettes banded together and raised hell.
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