Join the Fun!

MamaBear4485 , cottonbro studio / Pexels Report

30 Women Share The Worst Weaponized Incompetence Examples They've Seen In Real Life I used to tell my boys - there’s only one difference between you and your sisters, and you don’t use that to hold a vacuum cleaner.

Final score:

336points

POST

lenka 5 months ago

My son made a half hearted attempt at cleaning up some spilt water once. My MIL said "oh, boys just arnt very good at that sort of thing". I replied ""He's not cleaning it with his penis". lol. She has never again interfered with me teaching him household tasks.

251points

ItsSUCHaLongStory , MART PRODUCTION / Pexels Report

30 Women Share The Worst Weaponized Incompetence Examples They've Seen In Real Life When our eldest was still an infant, my husband and I were arguing because I was pissed that he didn’t do any of their care without being asked. When things were really whipped up and heated, he had the nerve to say, “but you’re so much better at it!” So I screamed, “THEN GET GOOD! Jesus Christ, you think I instinctively knew any of this s**t, or enjoy changing dirty diapers? Man the F**K UP!” Most of his weaponized incompetence pretty much stopped that day.

Final score:

318points

POST

Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 5 months ago (edited)

What kind of man leaves his child in a s****y nappy?

115points

No-Difficulty2393 , RDNE Stock project / Pexels Report

The important thing about “weaponized incompetence” isn’t that someone doesn't know how to do a basic task. All of us have to learn “simple” tasks at some point in our lives. The issue is when, instead of figuring it out, they simply rely on their partner to do it, presumably, in perpetuity.

This is very similar to the approach that many kids take with various tasks, where they assume their parents will do it for them. As a child, this is more acceptable, but as an adult, it’s infuriating, so it’s perhaps not surprising why these women were so unhappy.

30 Women Share The Worst Weaponized Incompetence Examples They've Seen In Real Life I once said about the washing machine

- There are 3 buttons. If it explodes and you die, I will mourn you.

he figured it out.

Final score:

294points

POST

Dorothea Stovall 5 months ago

lol!

72points

TheSqueakyNinja , Mike Greer / Pexels Report

30 Women Share The Worst Weaponized Incompetence Examples They've Seen In Real Life Can I suggest saying what I say to my kids: “what have you done to solve this problem before coming to me?” When the answer is inevitably nothing, follow up with “please try to solve it on your own and then if your plans still run into trouble, ask me again.”.

Final score:

292points

POST

Hannah Taylor 5 months ago

Wise answer.

86points

JustTraci , Pille R. Priske / Unsplash Report

30 Women Share The Worst Weaponized Incompetence Examples They've Seen In Real Life So my adult daughter told me recently she could never understand why her dad and I argued so frequently and hotly over rice when she was growing up. Then she learned about weaponized incompetence.

I would work 10 hour shifts and come home to the expectation that I immediately cook rice (to go with the dinner I put in the crock pot before work, of course). Fam, it was *Minute Rice*. Literally boil water and pour the rice into it. And he just…couldn’t. Wouldn’t. Expected and demanded that I do it. One of many reasons that he is an ex husband.

Final score:

290points

POST

Scott Rackley 5 months ago

I don't get the whole men not cooking thing. In my family all the men cook, and well. I've been told by women that it's sexy. Don't know if that's true or not, but they liked a nice dinner.

8points

Refusing to learn is one thing, but being entirely capable and then pretending is a degree of delusion that is hard to fathom. Imagine watching your spouse slave away over some task that you know isn’t fun to do and not even trying to help. Remember, this task is, clearly, so annoying that the man is already looking for ways to get out of it.

Many, many years ago my husband complained he didn't have clean underwear. I asked him why he didn't wash a load and he said he didn't know how the washer worked. The directions for the washer were on the inside of the lid. My response was: you read blueprints for a living and you can't read the instructions for the washer? He's always had clean underwear since.

TravelKats Report

Final score:

220points

POST

LaserBrain 5 months ago

My mom taught me how to do laundry when I was a teenager, solved that problem forever

91points

socialmediaignorant , Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels Report

30 Women Share The Worst Weaponized Incompetence Examples They've Seen In Real Life My favorite saying always works here. “Pretend I’m dead. What would you do?” I will not allow the weaponized incompetence.

Final score:

218points

POST

Snorkeldorf 5 months ago (edited)

Did not have a problem with sharing chores, but there were many times I asked my husband to do something simple, because I knew it was easy but I had never done it. One time he got mad and said "Did you even TRY?" If you'd at least try, I wouldn't get mad." It stuck with me and after that I did try and found out I could to a lot of things., Sadly, he did die, very young. Our daughter was only seven. His words served me well and I kept learning new things. Also found out the hard way what I couldn't do, but now I know when to ask for help or call in a professional. Bless his heart. He was a big help to me even after he was gone.

113points

Beneficial_Yak8519 , Ronmar Lacamiento / Pexels Report

30 Women Share The Worst Weaponized Incompetence Examples They've Seen In Real Life Once I was sick in bed and asked my then boyfriend to make me some (boxed) Mac and cheese. He brought to me cooked and dry noodles with the cheese powder “mixed” in. It looked a little weird so I asked how he made it.
He didn’t add any milk or butter. When I told him he had to add other ingredients not just what’s in the box he was flabbergasted exclaiming that he didn’t know how to make it, how was he supposed to know. It’s literally on the box. He then refused to add milk or butter saying it was fine. Obviously no longer my boyfriend.

Final score:

209points

POST

Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 5 months ago

What a twatbasket.

165points

Bazoun , Duminda Perera / Unsplash Report

Unfortunately, this is often how these men are raised. Certain tasks are seen as the domain of a woman and they would not even think about learning the various cycles on a washing machine or how to cook more than a handful of recipes. Often, this is exactly how the household was run in their own families.

#10

30 Women Share The Worst Weaponized Incompetence Examples They've Seen In Real Life I usually slice up the fresh loaf of bread I bake, but one day, my stbx came to me, “The bread isn’t sliced.” I responded with, “I trust you to figure it out.” He did NOT like that.

Final score:

203points

POST

Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 5 months ago

Is it safe for him to be around sharp objects unsupervised?

169points

Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 5 months ago

Sounds like she was the sharpest object.

34points

Teutonic Disaster 5 months ago

Stbx?

10points

Remi (He/Him) 5 months ago

soon to be ex, I'd figure

26points

kath morgan 5 months ago

Shitbox?

9points

Anna Drever 5 months ago

Close enough. 😀

5points

CrunChewy McSandybutt 5 months ago

STBX = Soon To Be Ex, if anyone was wondering.

8points

A Jones 5 months ago

"You didn't have a problem slicing your own food?" is also a good comeback. ;J

4points

doctorwho35 4 months ago

What is "stbx"?

0points

Craig Reynolds 5 months ago

He didn't like that? Then tell him to eat it like his 16th-century ancestors! He can tear off chunks and eat like a sloppy glutton.

0points

Laura Gillette 5 months ago

stbx?

0points

Nicole Weymann 5 months ago

soon to be ex

0points

#11

My thinking has always been, if its a task required for being alive (cooking, laundry, sewing buttons, changing tires, etc) its neither a woman's or a man's "job". Its just a JOB that needs to be done and everyone should know how to do it. There was a metric c**p ton of things I didn't know how to do before my kids were born, I just learned them because it needed to be done.

Haunted-Llama Report

Final score:

186points

POST

Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 5 months ago

When I worked at the daycare, I had a flat tire. I pulled into the empty section of a parking lot, got the jack, and set to it. I was just putting the lug nuts on when one of my kids and his dad came over. They were shopping, and thought I might need help. The dad offered to do the lug nuts, but I was already dirty, and he was wearing nice clothes, so I declined. As they walked away, the dad asked his son, "Do you think Mommy would be able to change a tire if she needed to?" I have a feeling that if she didn't, she got a lesson on that.

96points

#12

We got an air fryer for Christmas a few years back. I unpacked it and my (soon to be ex) husband wanted to make something with it. I pointed to the counter and said "the quick start guide is over there" he got snippy with me and said "I don't need the quick start guide!!" Then a few moments later asked me if I knew how to preheat it.

Mother f****r.

I pointed to the counter again and said, loudly and with force "the quick start guide...is over there"

So glad we're divorcing.

asmodeuskraemer Report

Final score:

177points

POST

Judy Reynolds 5 months ago

Would you rather have this, or the guy who, after 20 years of marriage, says I don't know how to do anything and has to do it all himself?

26points

StarryAnne , Pascal Meier / Unsplash Report

This doesn’t mean that women should just accept it, indeed, breaking your partner’s weaponized incompetence is an important first step in creating a better example if you happen to have kids. At the very least, once they have been “taught to fish,” so to speak, they will finally do it for themselves.

#13

30 Women Share The Worst Weaponized Incompetence Examples They've Seen In Real Life Talking of weaponized incompetence...My boyfriend leaves most things up to me to complete when to do with bills, or anything electronic. We went on vacation (that I planned completely). His only job I gave him was to check us in for the return flight home. He literally flung his arms up in the air and said "I don't know how to do this. It's asking me a bunch of questions." Me: " Okay, they are only yes and no questions. They aren't hard". Him: "I don't know, are we citizens?" Like....dude. Come on.

Final score:

164points

POST

Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 5 months ago

Ditch his lazy a**e.

113points

quarterlifecircus , PhotoMIX Company / Pexels Report

#14

30 Women Share The Worst Weaponized Incompetence Examples They've Seen In Real Life My dad will literally just skip meals if my mom isn’t around to cook for him (and Taco Bell is closed, lol). Once, she angrily asked how he would feed himself if she dropped dead. His answer was, 'Your mom would feed me.'

Final score:

151points

POST

Farah the Turtle 5 months ago

THATS CRAZY-

76points

#15

30 Women Share The Worst Weaponized Incompetence Examples They've Seen In Real Life My entire first marriage happened before I learned about weaponized incompetence. If I had known sooner that marriage would have gone differently.

When we were sending out wedding invitations, I wanted them addressed by hand. I thought it would be nice if he addressed the one to my parents. He made me sit beside him and dictate the address and spelling of the names. That's not too bad, he really was dyslexic.

But he appeared to have forgotten how to write! He was writing in big, poorly drawn letters like a first grader. I was so confused, because he had normal handwriting. I literally asked if he'd hit his head. He did finally get what he wanted, I did missed him and did all the work myself.

It wasn't until years later that it clicked. He was just flat out faking, to get out of it. Head injury occurred to me before faking. No wonder he chose me, I never saw it coming.

notreallylucy , Pixabay / Pexels Report

Final score:

139points

POST

Jill Rhodry 5 months ago

I know what she means - it's so hard to believe that someone who supposedly loves you and wants (or at least should want) the best for you can treat you like this.

84points

imakefishdrown , RDNE Stock project / Pexels Report

The final, frustrating part of this sort of behavior is just how out of line it can be with the rest of the person’s life. Some people simply can’t cook, that is true, but a doctor or engineer has to be able to handle something like the instructions of instant mac and cheese. The issue isn’t the complexity of the task, but their willingness to learn.

#16

30 Women Share The Worst Weaponized Incompetence Examples They've Seen In Real Life My husband tried saying he didn't know how to work our washing machine. I asked, 'In the six years you were single and living alone, you never washed your clothes?' 'Yeah, but that washing machine was different!' There are literally instructions under the lid, with pictures.

Final score:

128points

POST

Javelina Poppers 5 months ago

How do you have sex, does he need instructions and pictures too?

116points

#17

If my husband pulls that “oh how do you do *simple task*”, I remind him he has THREE degrees, so I have every faith in him to figure it out.

No-Winter1049 Report

Final score:

126points

POST

Ash 5 months ago

"Dude. Google exists."

49points

#18

"Ok, but if I don't do it right, you're gonna be mad".

Constant_Ear_7880 Report

Final score:

115points

POST

Iampenny 5 months ago (edited)

Jackpot! Weaponised incompetence AND gaslighting - 2 for 1.

158points

Jazzlike-Principle67 Report

#19

My thoughts always go to the man who can disassemble and reassemble a car engine but can't figure out how to turn on a vacuum cleaner. (yes, it's exaggerated but it's this mindset of men and their weaponized incompetence that they want to try to get away with.)

Final score:

110points

POST

lenka 5 months ago

When my (now) husband moved in with me the very first week he vacuumed and did a p**s poor job of it. I pointed out that he had done a terrible job and he replied sheepishly, Yeah, I'm not very good at vacuuming. I told him that, that's ok. I support your desire to improve. From now on, I'll let you do all the vacuuming until you learn to do it well. He never again claimed to not be good at household chores.

178points

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

See Also on Bored Panda

Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women

#20

30 Women Share The Worst Weaponized Incompetence Examples They've Seen In Real Life I always respond “what does google say?” And “if I didn’t know I would Google it, try that” Because they’re essentially asking us to be their personal search engine anyway.

80sHairBandConcert , Mikhail Nilov / Pexels Report

Final score:

108points

POST

The Darkest Timeline 5 months ago

GTS=Google that shït

46points

jammies , Satoru Takamatsu / Pexels Report

#21

30 Women Share The Worst Weaponized Incompetence Examples They've Seen In Real Life My ex once got out of the shower to ask which bottle was the shampoo. I told him it was the one that said shampoo on it, and he told me he hadn’t read them.

Final score:

104points

POST

Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 5 months ago

What wizardry is this? The bottle that says shampoo is the shampoo?

88points

groovy-ghouly , RDNE Stock project / Pexels Report

#22

30 Women Share The Worst Weaponized Incompetence Examples They've Seen In Real Life I asked my ex to finish making the pizza while I finished a task. He kept yelling what's next... even though he worked in the kitchen of a pizza place for years...

Final score:

103points

POST

Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 5 months ago

Man here, is my iq supposed to halve as soon as I enter the kitchen?

54points

_perl_ , Devilishly Good / Pexels Report

#23

30 Women Share The Worst Weaponized Incompetence Examples They've Seen In Real Life I got asked the other day if the dishes in the dishwasher were clean while I was on the couch in the living room and he was literally standing next to the dishwasher. I about lost my mind. Dude's a doctor for f**ks sake.

Final score:

99points

POST

Cleo Bean 5 months ago

Look at the cups on the top rack, buddy. Water collected on top of the upside-down cup? It's clean. Either that or use your -1 brain cell.

49points

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

See Also on Bored Panda

“Ma’am I Live Here”: Woman Refuses To Back Out Of Driveway, Learns A Lesson The Hard Way

#24

30 Women Share The Worst Weaponized Incompetence Examples They've Seen In Real Life Mine asked me how to make hot chocolate. Dear readers, he is an accomplished cook with cooking classes under his belt and makes high end cuisine.

F*****G HOT CHOCOLATE. Like how do you even answer that without sounding condescending? You...scoop the powder in the cup and add hot milk, honey.

I'll never get over that one.

alkalinesky , Maddi Bazzocco / Pexels Report

Final score:

96points

POST

PaperinoVB 5 months ago

If the question was "How do you like your hot chocolate?" I'd understand. Skim milk, whole milk, lactose-free milk? Powdered cocoa or dark chocolate? No sugar, refined or brown sugar, how much of it...?

44points

#25

My Scottish STBX came out of the kitchen holding a bag of oatmeal and interrupted my peace to ask how to make oatmeal - and the instructions were on the bag. Rage inducing!

SalisburyGrove Report

Final score:

85points

POST

Kristal 5 months ago (edited)

What is STBX? - oh, answered in bottom comments: "soon to be ex"

46points

#26

30 Women Share The Worst Weaponized Incompetence Examples They've Seen In Real Life This morning he asked me to wake up our daughter at a certain time so they will leave for an appointment. I deflected that straight and said to set an Alexa reminder, which he did. But why even ask me in the first place... I also always get asked what’s the date or time… or when is this happening… like no. I am not letting that take any of my headspace. Anything you can Google or Alexa use them, not me. And check the family calendar….

digiqn , Pixabay / Pexels Report

Final score:

81points

POST

wowbagger 5 months ago

My ex was constantly asking me what the weather forecast was. And I also had a male coworker who would say, "remind me that I need to do x," or "remind me that we're meeting on xyz date." I had the same job title as him; I wasn't his secretary. So I would jot down in my day planner that I needed to remind him of whatever; it took a long time for me to realize, wait, why I am I writing this down when he could just as easily write it down?

46points

50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

See Also on Bored Panda

French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics

#27

30 Women Share The Worst Weaponized Incompetence Examples They've Seen In Real Life If I said I was too tired to cook my ex would order in or occasionally cook. When he cooked It would always be one of a few dishes he had cooked several times eg fajitas or stir fry and it was more effort for me not to cook it than cook it. What shape do I cut it up into? What do I add to the pan first? When do I add the other stuff? Is it cooked enough for the sauce/fajita mix? What do I serve with it?

Violet351 , cottonbro studio / Pexels Report

Final score:

77points

POST

Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 5 months ago

How did he cook for himself if you Were not there?

35points

even_less_resistance , Sunvani Hoàng / Pexels Report

#28

30 Women Share The Worst Weaponized Incompetence Examples They've Seen In Real Life The first shower I went to take after my kid was born this man looked at me and asked if it was ok that the baby’s feet were below his head the whole time I was gone because he was afraid the blood wouldn’t make it back up or something? Idk at that point I was just like motherf**ker I will be out of the room for ten minutes, are you serious?

Final score:

73points

POST

Ace 5 months ago

Well at least he waited until you got back. TBH this one doesn't sound so much like WI as it does a new father scared that he'll hurt the baby and just trying to make sure he knows what to do for next time.

49points

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

See Also on Bored Panda

Mom Leaves $250k Inheritance To Son, Throws A Fit When Daughter Stops Looking After Her

#29

30 Women Share The Worst Weaponized Incompetence Examples They've Seen In Real Life Mine asked me how to make scrambled eggs. This is a 50+ year old man who lived on his own for years before we got together. I took him at his word and narrated every step while he did them. (“Get out the pan, turn the stove to medium. Crack 2 eggs).

If he had just asked me I would have done it for him because he is generally a great husband and partner but I wasn’t playing games.

GwenSoul , Annushka Ahuja / Pexels Report

Final score:

67points

POST

cerinamroth 5 months ago

My mother always used to make scrambled eggs in the microwave (bleugh, foamy, hard, unseasoned eggs). I made them for lunch the proper way and she grudgingly admitted that they were better. VINDICATION! (I'll take anything I can get from her at this point, however small.)

36points

#30

The other day I asked my partner to make the kids rootbeer floats while I picked up another child’s medication. He looked at me and said “I don’t know how to make them”. After I told him that it was ice cream and rootbeer he said “I thought there was more to it”. When I pressed him what “more” was, he couldn’t tell me. He just said “I thought there was more”. No sir.

JustCallInSick Report

Final score:

52points

POST

Suddenlyme 5 months ago

To be fair, Im not from the US and dont know what a rootbeer float means. Im also from a country where apart from Milkshake, you never have any other drinks mixed with ice cream. So, if someone asked me to do a root beer float, I would really think its something complex to do. But would definitely ask or google to know how to.

59points

Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

See Also on Bored Panda

“This Breaks My Heart”: People Stunned—And Angry—After Woman Buys Lost Luggage From Airport

I am a writer at Bored Panda. Despite being born in the US, I ended up spending most of my life in Europe, from Latvia, Austria, and Georgia to finally settling in Lithuania. At Bored Panda, you’ll find me covering topics ranging from the cat meme of the day to red flags in the workplace and really anything else. In my free time, I enjoy hiking, beating other people at board games, cooking, good books, and bad films.

Read less »

I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. I kickstart my day with a mug of coffee bigger than my head, ready to tackle Photoshop. I navigate through the digital jungle with finesse, fueled by bamboo breaks and caffeine kicks. When the workday winds down, you might catch me devouring bamboo snacks while binging on the latest TV show, gaming or I could be out in nature, soaking up the tranquility and communing with my inner panda.

Read less »

What do you think ?

POST

Junebugjump! 5 months ago

This is why I am happily now single and will remain so until I meet a competent and extraordinary man. No more will I serve a man who is bare minimum.

31points

Sharon Hahn 4 months ago

I thought I had that with my second husband. Turns out he did everything like clean and do laundry to hide the other things he was doing!!!

0points

LaserBrain 5 months ago (edited)

Weaponized incompetence is a thing I have been reading about lately. Men often do it, to be sure. But I have seen women do it too. "Oh! I can't change the oil in the truck!" "I can't deal with that spider!" etc

20points

Hester 4 months ago

Hmmm... I don't think those are examples of weaponised incompetence (although I agree, it is not a behaviour strictly deployed by men). I think those things come from a cultural need to be seen to be feminine. To support this, I ask why does the spider need to be dealt with? They may not be conscious of the fact that they are trying to show that they are poor, weak, little girls, who need to be taken care of. And I would also suggest that some of the kitchen related incompetence exhibited by men comes from the same place. Their motivation is not so much to force their partner to do the thing, but to appear manly (in a bizarre and very corrupted sense).

2points

Heather Larson 4 months ago

I can put the oil in. I'd just rather pay someone to change it. I wouldn't mind learning in my downtime though.

0points

R Dennis 5 months ago (edited)

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Pan Paweł 5 months ago

Most of those stories looks like people that found someone to take care of to feel more important l, that later found out that it does not work in relatioship.

19points

MellonCollie 5 months ago

I can assure you this is how it goes in many relationships, unfortunately. Men who grew up being babied by their mothers well into adulthood unfortunately have this attitude towards their girlfriend as well. In the beginning, you answer them, give a correct reply, or you may even do the task yourself because you believe they really don't know. After a while, it clicks they are man-babies. This is where they either man up or get served divorce papers.

26points

Krystal Quigley 5 months ago

Also narcissists are attracted to caretaker personalities. And if that person was raised by a narcissist it seems normal until two kids, one German shepherd, ADHD, PTSD and a sleep disorder later leaves her feeling so exhausted she starts fantasizing that he leaves her for another woman.

8points

Teutonic Disaster 5 months ago (edited)

What dudes like these (especially those who aren't willing to learn) want, essentially, is a "mum with benefits" who takes care of them and there every (and I mean *every*) need 24/7 without even wasting a thought at reciprocation, because that's how they've been (mis)raised. No surprise, if their browser history is probably also full with milf, maid and incest pörn.

3points

Firefly 5 months ago

My husband was like this. He believed a woman could do any thing a man could, but a man couldn't possibly learn to do the things a wife and mother needs to know to keep a household running. Because he put so much on me, I wouldn't do the few things he was willing to do, like snow blowing, etc. Now that we are separated, I regret not learning to do some of those things and become proficient in them, but physically and mentally I just couldn't take on anymore. Even though I am having to do more now, without him being a drain on my resources, it is much easier to handle things.

12points

Kyra Heiker 5 months ago

My former MIL was awesome. I got a husband who could cook and sewed our curtains for the living room

10points

Pandapoo 5 months ago

You got a good one!

4points

Brian Michael 5 months ago

This article bothers me because yes the stereotype of men needing to be "babied" is definitely a thing but as many a man who reads this article and has been in a long term relationship with a woman knows it's just as bad the other way. So many of my past relationships the women would always divert into this child like state that needed help with anything car related, physical work related, p2p jobs needing complete like calling a customer service or calling any business in general, taxes being filed, and paying bills. My current wife and I have been happily chugging along these 12 years because we found we like to do specific opposite chores and neither of us expects the other to do something. When you find the right one imo these petty issues just don't arise because you don't let them get to that point.

9points

Csaba Horvath 2 months ago

Same here :)

0points

Lara Verne 5 months ago

My ex once did this. I had to leave for a weekend and left my cat in his care. All I wanted was to feed my cat. When I returned, my poor cat was hungry and thirsty, because "he didn't know how to feed a cat". He apparently didn't know to to pour some water and put dry cat food into bowl.

9points

Thee8thsense 5 months ago

Glad to read he is your ex.

5points

SkippityBoppityBoo 5 months ago

Some of these are not coming across as weaponised incompetence, it's more the person in question just didn't know how to do it. I once Googled a recipe and it said to use "an egg pan"... Erm... I don't eat eggs... And what IS an egg pan??? One for boiling them in or one for frying them in or an omelette one?... I'm Scared!!! The recipe didn't really need eggs anyway so punk rock 👍😉

8points

Sophia Athene 5 months ago

Google what an egg pan is.

1point

David Beaulieu 5 months ago

I get every single one of these, and people who pull this c**p deserve to be alone, but... the opposite of this is the perfectionist partner. You know, the one that comes in and remakes the bed after you make it. Adds spice to your cooking. Adjust the shades to just the right height. Re-folds the laundry their way...

8points

Bec 5 months ago

Agree, the trade off of expecting someone else to do a task is to accept it if they do it their way (within reason).

5points

Jude Laskowski 4 months ago

My ex bf used to do this when I cooked something at his house. He would always say it needs salt or pepper, just to be an a*s. He thought he was a chef because he worked in a diner when he was in college 40 years ago. He didn't like it when I tasted his cooking and added something, though. One of the many reasons he's an ex.

1point

Csaba Horvath 2 months ago

I have one at home :D

0points

Diolla 5 months ago

My mom used to ask someone in the family to do stuff and then be disappointed if it wasn't happening fast enough or not done like she would do it. "Oh never mind, I'LL do it". I am a bit like that as well. Doesn't help that my late husband was a kind man, but came from a culture with very strict division of labour, i.e. men not allowed in the kitchen. I've recently married a man who cooks for me and knows how to wash his clothes. Hope to do better this time around. A lot of this "incompetence" goes both ways, I know many women who don't put out the garbage, "can't" change an electric plug, pump up a tyre, or hang a picture.

8points

Slapdash1 5 months ago

What in the blue f!ck is an STBX? Who says things like that?

8points

Farah the Turtle 5 months ago

soon to be x

11points

Amy 5 months ago

My best guess is shitbox :P

8points

Pan Paweł 5 months ago

Stabbed ex?

4points

Agfox 5 months ago

Soon To Be eX

2points

Moë 5 months ago

Soon to be ex

2points

Tyke 5 months ago

I read this feeling very smug as my husband is in the kitchen prepping dinner and doing washing up, before heading off to pick our kid up from school club (I am recovering from an operation... not just being lazy myself).

7points

brittany 5 months ago

mine kept asking me to remind him of his appointments. man has 3 calendars. one on his phone, one in the kitchen on the wall and one on his computer. i told him no, he needed to write it down or set an alarm. he said it was easier for me to remember. i stood by my No, and dont remind him. at all. ever. sometimes he remembers on his own and sometimes he doesnt

6points

DB 5 months ago

I love these posts. I grew up with a mom who was off the scale when it came to laziness and incompetence. But she was nothing compared to my first wife. In fact, out of the dozen or so other women I dated I could point to two that were actually capable of taking care of themselves and one of them is my second wife.

6points

Not-a-Clue (she/her) 5 months ago

I can honestly say I'd never heard of or experienced weaponised incompetence until I joined BP! I've clearly been blessed by a father & husband neither of whom were/are idiots and just did whatever needed doing. Just as well since I'm disabled now, Mr Not-a-clue has to look after me.

5points

Jude Laskowski 4 months ago

Sorry about your disability. I pray for your recovery.

0points

WhiteClawOfDeath 5 months ago

I have a great husband

3points

Uncle Schmickle 5 months ago

Some of these are unbelievable. I think this behaviour stems from : laziness, being spoiled as a child ( mummy does everything ) or power control. What has stood me in good stead for most of my adult life ( I'm now in my 70s ) was going to college in another country and learning how to look after myself. I recommend it.

2points

Bobby 5 months ago

Handful of the comments by men in this list really make me ashamed of my gender. Y'all are the reason they pick the bear.

2points

marianne eliza 5 months ago

My ex would do most of the driving when we went on trips in our full van conversion. But I had to stay awake and next to him to point out our next exit. I couldn't just say the name of it and leave it at that. I had to be there as the exit came up to say "Take this exit right here." or he would just drive past it. So no naps or playing games with his son from his previous marriage. Ladies: the ex wife or gf can tell you a lot if you will believe them and not get gaslighted by the man.

2points

Liz The Biz 4 months ago

I always have to navigate when my hubby and I go anywhere but it's like he doesn't believe a word I'm saying. For example if we're approaching a roundabout and I tell him to take the third exit. He will be driving around the roundabout saying, "Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure?" Sometimes I feel like replying, "No I'm just making it up as I go along because I just love being shouted at."

0points

Gustav Gallifrey 5 months ago

Have any of these Hopeless Henrys ever been in a military service? Because, there, you learn to shift for yourself, or else someone will quickly come along and make bloody sure that you do learn. Laundry, cleaning, sewing, making beds, organising your s**t, being on time, quite possibly even how to cook. No excuses, because there is NO-ONE who is going to do it for you.

2points

MellonCollie 5 months ago

One would only hope so.

0points

Aaron McArthur 5 months ago (edited)

The only "you do it better than me" that is allowed at our house is that certain dishes "belong" to a respective cook when planning meals. I was embarrassed by several male relatives weaponized incompetence when I was a kid and vowed never to do that c**p. It makes me very appreciative when my wife chooses to do something for me that I said I was going to do. This is part of why after 24 years of marriage we still like each other.

1point

Teutonic Disaster 5 months ago (edited)

As a dude who moved out at 18 (and whose mum was the breadwinner, whose dad therefore knew how use the dustbuster etc) I absolutely do NOT get the mindset of these dudes. I honestly wish my parents would've shown/taught me more at the time. I had to figure a lot of stuff out on my own, but considering I'm still alive nearly 20 years later, safe to say I managed it. As would these dudes, if only they gave a dämn.

1point

Reset Game 5 months ago

So happily single 🤣

1point

Randy Sanders 5 months ago

Some people, like me, like sassy women. especially when the give you THAT smile.

1point

Ali H M Salehuddin 5 months ago

Why does it only the males that are labelled with weaponized incompetence? I have seen cases done by the opposite sex. Some females who can't (on purpose) learn how setup universal remotes; top-up windshield washer fluid, etc. The worst case I known so far happened to my friend. His wife has a degree in electrical engineering. Yet, she still waited for few hours for him to come back home to change a blown bulb in their house.

1point

Sophia Athene 5 months ago (edited)

Because the listicle is about women sharing about men who have used weaponized incompetence. If you want to see a listicle on men sharing weaponized incompetence of women or anyone sharing incompetence of any gender, then go right ahead and create that listicle. No woman here said at all that only men weaponize incompetence. Many times, posters mentioned how their mothers or MIL would use weaponized incompetence, both in the postings and comments

1point

Csaba Horvath 2 months ago (edited)

Some of these are surely not weaponized incompetence examples, but self-defense :D So my significant other often plays that asks for something and then picks a quarrel of anything. So i first get a formal approval of ANY activity, or so, because she can not blame me for anything it gets in her mind. (And for example, i'm not allowed to use the washing machine when she's at home, but i can perfectly wash my stuff when i'm alone :D ) :P :D And yes, many of these stories are weaponized incompetence, but not all. (To add; women do this as many times as men; but not with household terms.)

0points

Judy Chandler 4 months ago

Loved it!!

0points

Jude Laskowski 4 months ago

When a friend divorced, she made sure to teach her 8 year-old son how to cook simple dishes, do the laundry and separate the whites from the colored clothes, and to fold his clothes and put them away. She said she wanted to make sure he would never be a burden on a woman.

0points

Baali Venomax 4 months ago

I think some guys are morons and are seriously challenged when it comes to anything domestic, either because they CANT do it or dont want to learn. If they are single, they'd have to have a housekeeper just to take care of them assuming they have no sisters and Mom isnt still alive.

0points

cat olson 4 months ago

hoo boy my father is/was the picture of weaponized incompetence. in fairness-ish, when I was young, I suppose the set-up made sense. he commuted two hours each way every day so as not to uproot us (especially my brother and me in school) and my mother didn't work outside the home, but when he retired he barely lifted a pinky finger stil expecting to be waited on hand and foot, and made everything more work for everyone else when he was demanded of something. the man was a literal rocket scientist, as in, worked on the Apollo moon mission, but putting something in the microwave? whoaaaa big ask!

0points

Jackie Thinel 4 months ago

I used to get "You are a women's liber, do it yourself"...as when I asked him to carry the 100lb of horse feed into the barn. Sure I can spend 20+ minutes dragging it into the barn, while it would take him literally one minute to pick it up and carry it there. Part of why he's my ex.

0points

HighNMightyBigshotBossOfWorld 4 months ago

Reminds me of a student. I teach business English to adults in Japan. A lot of international people in this Japanese company prepping for the TOEIC test. There was a word one of the Japanese students didn’t know, but practically all of the non-Japanese did. The following he tells me about this (once a week classes) word thst bothered him all week. He requested that I teach him ALL the meanings of this word. I asked him if he had a dictionary, he did but since I was the teacher it was MY job. Nope, told him he needed to do the work and then and only then if he still had an issue I would clarify. Ever after, if he had a question all I would do is give him a look, he said he would check and THEN get back to me. Yeah, nip that in the bud!

0points

WineDrinker2022 5 months ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

Christine M Quigley 5 months ago

Playing dumb doesn't win any friends..especially girlfriends.

0points

Julie Hock 5 months ago

I’ve experienced this, and then they wonder why I am a feminist……. One chap told me that I was better at vacuuming than he was. It was the beginning of the end. He definitely didn’t appreciate me.

0points

Aaron McArthur 5 months ago

My response to my kids when they said that I was better at anything than they were was "So you are telling me you need more practice?"

1point

Jaya 5 months ago

Interesting how we consider those things 'weaponized incompetence' when a man does them, but when a woman says 'but I don't know how to change a tire" or "but you're just better at taking out the garbage", we don't call it weaponized incompetence.

0points

Marnie 5 months ago

In general, I agree with you, but the fact of the matter is, on average, women do a lot more work around the house, even if both have paid jobs. Your examples are bad. Someone needs to teach you how to change or a tire (or I guess nowadays you could try googling it), and it happens very rarely, as opposed to, say, washing clothes or stacking the dishwasher. I theoretically know how to change a tire, but I'd be reluctant to do it myself first time, without someone observing. Do it wrong, and you could be dad (or put a hole in your gas tank). Also, it requires strength. With the garbage, this might be easier for a taller person, if they have a large garbage bag. (it's hard to life things above chest height if you're holding it away from your body.) No, I've never had my husband change my tire or take the garbage out. He said that 2/3 of the garbage was mine and his step-son's, so we should be the ones to take it out. He never once did.

3points

Jude Laskowski 4 months ago

Here in the USA, we have AAA, which is an automobile club where you can get maps, travel info, etc. They also have emergency road service, which my father told me to always have in case I have a flat tire, engine trouble, etc. They are set up to change a tire faster than I possible could and are nice about it. The annual cost is reasonable and they always appreciate a tip.

0points

Mary Munoz 5 months ago

Changing a tire is a relatively rare thing, and not something that is always taught to every driver. Changing the oil is a more regular occurrence, but again, not something done very often. Most weaponized incompetence comes with the daily tasks and chores of life. Feeding yourself is a daily occurrence. Having clean underwear should also be a daily occurrence. Taking care of children or pets? Again, needs to be done every day. Do I know how to take apart a car engine? No, I do not. I can Google it, and follow it step-by-step. But honestly, how often would I need to take apart an automobile engine? On the other hand, the family needs to eat every day. To pretend not to know how to fix mac & cheese, when the recipe is literally on the box, is weaponized incompetence.

0points

michael Chock 5 months ago

Another way my wife and I do not follow gender norms. Her: How long will it take to drive to x? Me: How would I know? I'm not google. Her, angrily: I just thought you would know!

0points

michael Chock 5 months ago (edited)

I like to say she is street smart and sheet stupid, because when it comes to making the bed, she just can't figure it out.

0points

David 5 months ago

you do know weaponized incompetence foes both way, not just one way?

0points

Steve Hall 5 months ago

Most of these posts just sound like complaints from people who should be living alone.

-2points

Roland Nijveld 5 months ago

I'll be honest, I hate the tasks in these examples that much that I would do everything to get out of it. Some people just don't like doing certain stuff or don't feel comfortable doing it.

-3points

Tamra 5 months ago

LMAO, women don't enjoy doing this stuff either. The fact is, if you're in a relationship, it's pretty $hitty and irresponsible to expect your partner to do all the household tasks simply because you don't enjoy doing it.

8points

POST

Junebugjump! 5 months ago

This is why I am happily now single and will remain so until I meet a competent and extraordinary man. No more will I serve a man who is bare minimum.

31points

Sharon Hahn 4 months ago

I thought I had that with my second husband. Turns out he did everything like clean and do laundry to hide the other things he was doing!!!

0points

LaserBrain 5 months ago (edited)

20points

Hester 4 months ago

2points

Heather Larson 4 months ago

I can put the oil in. I'd just rather pay someone to change it. I wouldn't mind learning in my downtime though.

0points

R Dennis 5 months ago (edited)

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Pan Paweł 5 months ago

Most of those stories looks like people that found someone to take care of to feel more important l, that later found out that it does not work in relatioship.

19points

MellonCollie 5 months ago

26points

Krystal Quigley 5 months ago

8points

Teutonic Disaster 5 months ago (edited)

3points

Firefly 5 months ago

12points

Kyra Heiker 5 months ago

My former MIL was awesome. I got a husband who could cook and sewed our curtains for the living room

10points

Pandapoo 5 months ago

You got a good one!

4points

Brian Michael 5 months ago

9points

Csaba Horvath 2 months ago

Same here :)

0points

Lara Verne 5 months ago

9points

Thee8thsense 5 months ago

Glad to read he is your ex.

5points

SkippityBoppityBoo 5 months ago

8points

Sophia Athene 5 months ago

Google what an egg pan is.

1point

David Beaulieu 5 months ago

8points

Bec 5 months ago

Agree, the trade off of expecting someone else to do a task is to accept it if they do it their way (within reason).

5points

Jude Laskowski 4 months ago

1point

Csaba Horvath 2 months ago

I have one at home :D

0points

Diolla 5 months ago

8points

Slapdash1 5 months ago

What in the blue f!ck is an STBX? Who says things like that?

8points

Farah the Turtle 5 months ago

soon to be x

11points

Amy 5 months ago

My best guess is shitbox :P

8points

Pan Paweł 5 months ago

Stabbed ex?

4points

Agfox 5 months ago

Soon To Be eX

2points

Moë 5 months ago

Soon to be ex

2points

Tyke 5 months ago

7points

brittany 5 months ago

6points

DB 5 months ago

6points

Not-a-Clue (she/her) 5 months ago

5points

Jude Laskowski 4 months ago

Sorry about your disability. I pray for your recovery.

0points

WhiteClawOfDeath 5 months ago

I have a great husband

3points

Uncle Schmickle 5 months ago

2points

Bobby 5 months ago

Handful of the comments by men in this list really make me ashamed of my gender. Y'all are the reason they pick the bear.

2points

marianne eliza 5 months ago

2points

Liz The Biz 4 months ago

0points

Gustav Gallifrey 5 months ago

2points

MellonCollie 5 months ago

One would only hope so.

0points

Aaron McArthur 5 months ago (edited)

1point

Teutonic Disaster 5 months ago (edited)

1point

Reset Game 5 months ago

So happily single 🤣

1point

Randy Sanders 5 months ago

Some people, like me, like sassy women. especially when the give you THAT smile.

1point

Ali H M Salehuddin 5 months ago

1point

Sophia Athene 5 months ago (edited)

1point

Csaba Horvath 2 months ago (edited)

0points

Judy Chandler 4 months ago

Loved it!!

0points

Jude Laskowski 4 months ago

0points

Baali Venomax 4 months ago

0points

cat olson 4 months ago

0points

Jackie Thinel 4 months ago

0points

HighNMightyBigshotBossOfWorld 4 months ago

0points

WineDrinker2022 5 months ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

Christine M Quigley 5 months ago

Playing dumb doesn't win any friends..especially girlfriends.

0points

Julie Hock 5 months ago

0points

Aaron McArthur 5 months ago

My response to my kids when they said that I was better at anything than they were was "So you are telling me you need more practice?"

1point

Jaya 5 months ago

0points

Marnie 5 months ago

3points

Jude Laskowski 4 months ago

0points

Mary Munoz 5 months ago

0points

michael Chock 5 months ago

Another way my wife and I do not follow gender norms. Her: How long will it take to drive to x? Me: How would I know? I'm not google. Her, angrily: I just thought you would know!

0points

michael Chock 5 months ago (edited)

I like to say she is street smart and sheet stupid, because when it comes to making the bed, she just can't figure it out.

0points

David 5 months ago

you do know weaponized incompetence foes both way, not just one way?

0points

Steve Hall 5 months ago

Most of these posts just sound like complaints from people who should be living alone.

-2points

Roland Nijveld 5 months ago

I'll be honest, I hate the tasks in these examples that much that I would do everything to get out of it. Some people just don't like doing certain stuff or don't feel comfortable doing it.

-3points

Tamra 5 months ago

8points