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Living a good, purposeful, and meaningful life is something that most of us aspire to do. However, sometimes analysis paralysis sets in when you see so much overwhelming advice floating around online. One way to tackle this issue is to consider which things you’d probably regret (not) doing as the years roll by.

Internet user April (@a.badu_) recently went viral on Threads, Instagram’s app where everyone can share public conversations, after asking women who are 30 and over to reveal their top mistakes in life. April’s goal was to help young women out so they don’t make other people’s blunders. You’ll find everyone's helpful advice as you scroll down.

#1

Post by katerina.foster about avoiding toxic family, with 635 likes and 15 shares.

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Sue Denham
Community Member
5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes! Think of the person and how they treat you and ask yourself "If we weren't related is this someone I'd choose to have around me?".

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    The discussion went viral very quickly. At the time of writing, April’s post on Threads had 10k likes, over 3.1k comments, and over 785 reshares. The author said that she was surprised by how “this blew up overnight.” She said she was “overwhelmed with the responses” and promised to read through every single person’s replies.

    Bored Panda has reached out to April, and we’ll update our article once we hear back from her.

    #4

    Text screenshot from social media about relationship mistakes and trauma responses.

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    Nikole
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, well, I wouldn’t do that NOW, but I’m 44. Younger Nikole should have been stronger.

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    #5

    "Social media post discussing hyper independence as a common mistake women over 30 made, advising to accept help."

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    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Depend on people trying to help you with a problem. Develop independence from the person presenting the problem.

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    As a rule of thumb, people tend to regret the things they didn’t do rather than the mistakes they’ve made. Whatever you choose to do for work or school, there are a few non-negotiables that everyone should prioritize—your social life, health, and fitness. And they form a solid foundation that you can rely on to make the most of life. When you have a strong social circle that supports you and you’re physically and mentally fit, you can take advantage of more opportunities, bouncing back quicker after any defeats.

    #8

    Text from an Instagram post advising women over 30 on saying no and embracing new experiences.

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    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I use "Sorry, no. But thanks so much for the compliment!" I omitted the second sentence when the father of one of my students invited me to a meeting of his religious cult (Opus Dei).

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    #9

    "Social media post discussing mistakes women over 30 make in jobs with difficult bosses."

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    Corvus
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Did precisely this 10 years ago. Soon after, the jerk lost most of his other employees too ;)

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    After decades and decades of research, scientists at Harvard found that it’s your positive relationships that make you happier, healthier, and help you live longer—not exercise, healthy eating, money, or your career achievements.

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    That’s not to say that looking after your health isn’t important (it is!) or that you shouldn’t budget, save, and invest (you should!), but simply that your social fitness is extremely valuable.

    In short, when you consistently invest in maintaining meaningful relationships and minimize interactions with negative people, you become more resilient to stress.

    #10

    Social media post by hclove92 discussing relationship mistakes and lies.

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    Pittsburgh rare
    Community Member
    5 days ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh, he has! He just hasn't informed his wife 🙄 Jeez, the popularity of polyamori is a godsend for those mfs

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    #11

    A woman's lesson on finances over 30 years: manage your own money to avoid mistakes.

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    Alecto76
    Community Member
    4 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    After living through my dad wiping out my parents' joint bank accounts and leaving, and my mom being mostly a homemaker - I will never rely on anyone for money. I vowed to always make my own, no one touches it, its always separate, and enough to support me and whoever relies on me (cats). Currently, my mother is married to a wealthy man. She is taken care of, but he uses his money to control her. Money is freedom. As much as I want to respect stay at home moms, I can't help but see the danger in it.

    #12

    Social media post about relationship advice and avoiding mistakes, focusing on self-worth and toxic partners.

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    Martin
    Community Member
    2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can't even begin to confirm how accurate this statement truly is.

    Dr. Robert Waldinger, the director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, noted that there is a strong association between happiness and close relationships with spouses, family, friends, and social circles.

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    “Personal connection creates mental and emotional stimulation, which are automatic mood boosters, while isolation is a mood buster.”

    #13

    Instagram post by mandys_chronicles discusses mistakes women over 30 made, emphasizing the importance of self-focus in youth.

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    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Appropriate and beneficial self-focus has nothing to do with selfishness. If it does, you're doing it wrong.

    #15

    Screenshot of a social media post by joyfularoma84 about common relationship mistakes women over 30 should avoid.

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    XenoMurph
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    People say that to be self deprecating, or to praise their parter. People often say that humans don't deserve dogs for instance. This very much depends on the context, and way it's said.

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    Meanwhile, when it comes to your health, aim to sleep between 7 and 8 hours every night, drink 2 to 3 liters of water daily, and aim for at least 150 minutes of moderate-intensity physical activity per week.

    The CDC also recommends that adults need at least 2 days of muscle-strengthening activity each week.

    What you don’t do also matters. You should avoid drinking alcohol, smoking, and eating ultra-processed foods.

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    #16

    Text with advice from women over 30 on top mistakes, covering planning, credit, finances, and relationships.

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    Mimi M
    Community Member
    5 days ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    To the commenter Isa Wan who doesn't have a 'reply' button: In olden times, a woman would date multiple men until she made her choice. To do otherwise was considered ill-advised.

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    No matter who you are, the clearer you are about your values and goals in life, the easier it is for you to make better decisions. On the flip side, if you don’t know what you want or what you stand for, you’re likely to go with the flow and end up in situations that might not be optimal.

    For instance, if you theoretically value your family and time with loved ones but barely find any time for them due to your work, you need to either prioritize your relationships again or be honest with yourself about the importance of your financial and career goals.

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    #19

    Instagram comment on relationship trust, highlighting mistakes women over 30 shared to help others avoid them.

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    Jaya
    Community Member
    4 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And this is also true for your parents, kids, friends, neighbours. That's why you should never be a fake alibi for a partner/friend/family member who is accused of sexual abuse. Just because someone is an angel towards you, doesn't mean they're not a devil towards someone else.

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    #20

    Instagram post about self-love and authenticity with 2K likes and 30 shares.

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    Surly Scot
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Lol, i first read this as 'decanter'. Pour those men from the bottle and let them aerate.

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    #21

    Social media post highlights mistakes women over 30 mention, warning against buying a house with someone you're not married to.

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    Veronica Scoggins
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I mean, I did this. And all I got out of it was a husband of five years and two beautiful little boys.

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    Of course, it’s impossible to perfectly ‘optimize’ your life, and you’ll end up making mistakes either way. But if you see failure as a learning opportunity, you can pivot toward where you want to go instead of beating yourself up over having stumbled a bit. Newsflash—everyone, absolutely everyone, messes up sooner or later.

    It’s healthiest to embrace what’s happened and move on. Otherwise, you’ll end up feeling guilty and haunted by your past every step of the way.

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    #22

    Instagram post on family boundaries, encouraging trust in instincts, related to mistakes women over 30 want to help avoid.

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    Jaq Jack
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I also want to say that just because you and/or your child(ren) depend upon someone financially doesn’t mean that person gets to control you. Your contribution may not be tangible like money, but it is just as important and you deserve to be in control of your own life.

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    Doing things ‘well enough’ instead of ‘perfectly’ can leave you with more time, energy, and resources for other endeavors so you can enjoy yourself. Sometimes, trying to get the best possible outcome in every area of your life is, paradoxically, worse for you because you’ll end up exhausted. This approach, called ‘satisficing,’ is a decision-making strategy where you aim for satisfactory results rather than optimal solutions. And it's something that not only companies and managers do, but regular people can also apply to their lives to get good results without burning out. You can apply this when it comes to your finances, career, fitness, relationships, and, well, anything else you care about.

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    “Instead of putting maximum exertion toward attaining the ideal outcome, satisficing focuses on pragmatic effort when confronted with tasks. This is because aiming for the optimal solution may necessitate a needless expenditure of time, energy, and resources,” Investopedia explains.

    #25

    A social media post advising women over 30 to trust their intuition and avoid common mistakes.

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    Earonn -
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But also remember that your brain can lie. Your feelings can lie, too. It's not black and white and easy. Though when you feel in danger, leave. Why risk anything?

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    Satisficing, as a decision-making process, was a term first coined in 1956 by US scientist and Nobel laureate Herbert Simon. The general idea is that consumers facing a large number of choices will opt for something that is ‘good enough’ and that satisfies their main minimum needs instead of wasting too much time and energy on looking for what might objectively be the ‘best.’

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    However, satisficing, as a process, isn’t bulletproof. It’s not quite clear what a satisfactory result entails exactly. It’s also not clear how the end result differs from pursuing an optimal outcome. But broadly speaking, satisficers have an internal threshold in their minds that, once met, makes them choose something. Meanwhile, maximizers conduct an exhaustive search of options at a bigger cost.

    When applied to your relationships, health, career, etc., satisficing can motivate you to invest in what’s necessary without waiting for the ‘perfect’ moment to do so. Doing even a bit of a good thing is far better than doing nothing, after all.

    #28

    User comment discussing balance between bluntness and being a pushover, related to mistakes women over 30 share.

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    Corvus
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In other words - being "brutally honest" is absolutely not the same as being right/justified.

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    What are the biggest mistakes you’ve made in life that you hope others don’t repeat? What life advice or safety tips would you give total strangers or even yourself if you could travel back in time?

    What healthy habits do you personally think are the most vital for anyone to have? Let us know what you think!

    #31

    "Social media post advising women over 30 to seek partners who value and invest in them instead of focusing on attraction."

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    lwolf1952
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I heard this expression long ago: “If women could hear what men are thinking they would never stop slapping them”.

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    #33

    Instagram post about mistakes in partner choice, cautioning others on relationship decisions.

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    Pittsburgh rare
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ouch. This one hit TOO close to home. Love my child trying to forget who their father is, because fortunately they didn't inherit anything from him but the nose.

    #35

    Advice on job progression mistakes from women over 30 shared in a social media post.

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    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In the early 1970s, my mom worked for a large company who told her "Sorry, maam, but we've promoted you as far as we promote a woman." (That was legal then.) She was out of there in two weeks, slamming the door so hard that the windows in that building must still be vibrating.

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    #37

    "Social media comment advising to get a degree, a common mistake women over 30 share to help others."

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    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And don't choose a degree or a career with the assumption that you are going to get a man.

    #38

    Instagram comment cautioning to heed friends' advice to avoid mistakes in relationships.

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    Jac Carr
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't understand why women don't listen to their friends about this; they love you and want the best for you so why would they make stuff up? Unless your friends are jealous mean girls in which case, change the man AND the friends

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    #40

    "Text post on toxic friendships advice, highlighting mistakes women over 30 should avoid."

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    Jaq Jack
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Any relationship can be abusive. My ex mother in law was super abusive, and manipulative. We lived in her house and every paycheck of ours went straight into her pocket . We were forced to apply for food stamps and the card for it was in her wallet. Saving to try to get out was impossible. Eventually she resorted to violence against me and I had to escape. Any relationship can be abusive. And just because it’s peaceful the majority of the time doesn’t make it ok to be abused some of the time

    #41

    Social media post by ksacco66 highlighting a relationship mistake over 30.

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    Jac Carr
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Also, don't call every toxic a*****e a narcissist. They're actually quite rare but giving your average horrible person a medical title means you're just excusing your own poor choices because what chance did poor little you have against a narcissist? The red flags were there and you know it. Tough words I know but are they true?

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    #46

    "Social media post by a woman over 30 sharing advice on avoiding past mistakes in relationships."

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    Jaya
    Community Member
    4 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So badly phrased, does she not allow a man to kiss her twice or buy her flowers twice? 😄

    #47

    Text post about avoiding mistakes with emphasis on detachment in relationships and living arrangements.

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    Jaya
    Community Member
    4 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So many people giving dumb advice because they happened to get hurt. Never let a man move into your place, what nonsense is that? Because her relationship(s) didn't work out, nobody should move in together anymore?

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    #59

    Text post discussing relationship mistakes over 30, advising caution before leaving a stable long-term relationship.

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    Jac Carr
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    On the other hand, if something is missing in your relationship, stop wasting time and leave if you can't resolve it

    #64

    Social media post sharing life advice, highlighting top mistakes by women over 30.

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    Pittsburgh rare
    Community Member
    5 days ago

    This comment has been deleted.

    #65

    Text post with advice on avoiding top mistakes shared by women over 30.

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    Jac Carr
    Community Member
    5 days ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ALWAYS have a secret stash that can get you some form of immediate shelter if you need to leave home, even if it's just enough for a taxi and a night's stay in a motel until you can get help

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    #73

    Text post on relationship advice, highlighting importance over age.

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    Shelley Keenan
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I knew within 48 hours he was the one. I was 22. Very happily married 16 years later.

    #79

    Instagram post sharing advice on dating mistakes from women over 30 to help others avoid similar errors.

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    Fellfromthemoon
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm a woman, I dropped out vet uni, I went to a different uni (STEMI), now I have a PhD.

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