Ok, my best actual nice guy moment - I went out after work in London with friends and caught the last late train back out to where I lived. Long story short I was pretty drunk and somehow managed to fall asleep and miss my stop. I started panicking, crying and realized that my phone battery was dead and I didn't have my housemates numbers written down. Basically, I was f*cked roughly 80 miles from home, in the middle of the night, drunk. Not great I know but I was very young. Anyway, I'm cursing my own stupidity when an older man on the train wearing a suit walks over and asks if I'm OK. I explain my predicament and he says not to worry, he's getting off at the next stop and will show me to the taxi rank. I was a little bit wary of him but I didn't have too many options so he got off the train and he put me in the taxi. After an hour and a half taxi ride, I arrive back home and ask the taxi to stop while I attempt to withdraw £200 from the atm. He just smiled and said "don't worry Miss, your friend has put this fare on his account" HOW F*CKING AMAZING WAS THAT!!! It bothered me for ages that I never got to thank that man. What a legend, I hope I get to pay it forward one day.

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Caro Caro

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Not creepy. What an absolute sweetheart.

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This actually just happened recently. My good friend from college and I, along with other friends from our program went out to a bar to celebrate finishing our degree. He kept feeding me shots but I figured everyone just wanted to be drunk and have a good time. The night is coming to an end and I’m quite incapacitated. My “good friend” frantically approaches me saying that he had just seen a guy put something in my drink (which I had just finished). He told me that I would soon be unconscious and it was best that he take me back to his apartment so he could take care of me. Being heavily drunk and also quite scared, I agreed and he helped me back to his apartment.

After making me something to eat and giving me some water, we set up camp for the night on his couch. He put on a movie and he said he would sit and watch me sleep to make sure I didn’t throw up or anything. As I started to dose off he started touching me, first on my feet and knees and then my upper thigh. I confronted him about it and he said after everything he had done he felt he deserved “compensation”. I laughed it off but after he tried to make a move again I got angry and we began fighting. He exposed to me that no one had put anything in my drink and it was all a ploy to allow him to make his move. After some more arguing he decided it was best I left, and he kicked me out of his apartment at 3:00 am while I was still considerably drunk.

This is someone whom I’ve trusted and spent 4 years being friends with. Safe to say I’ll be a lot more speculative with future male friends.

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Caro Caro

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The word "compensation" did it for me. Asshole

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Met up with a guy from collegeclub.com and we had planned for a quick bite to eat. I had forgotten my wallet so he came to my dorm room with me to quickly grab it. We get there and He immediately starts looking around at all my of photos etc. around the room. He finds my Homer Simpson slippers and a rooster beanie boo my nephew had left there. He takes the rooster and stuffs it in Homer’s mouth and makes it move (as if the slipper was chewing) and says “Look at me. I am vain. I create suffering for animals so I can feast. Selfish hungry b*tch”. I was speechless but then he opens my drawer and starts throwing makeup around saying “this is tested on animals - I am vain. Animals suffer for my beauty” And THEN opened my wardrobe and started throwing clothes around saying “these things have been made in sweat shops” My friend called security on him.

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Samantha Lomb

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Wow what a loon

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Some guy messaged me online and seemed nice enough. Asked if I'd like to meet up with him. I said sure. He tells me a Starbucks between our places and said he'd see me in 30 min. I was like, "woah, not right now, it's 10pm" He said okay, but he'd like to keep talking to me if it was alright. Few days later this exchange happens over messenger:

Him: "hey what's up?"

Me: nm, how are you

Him: I'm good.

Me: good :)

5 min pass so I assume he was busy for a sec.

Him: Well if you don't have anything to say you f*cking b*tch, don't lead me on and let me think that we can be together. You're nothing but a f*cking wh*re anyways. Only wh*res lead nice guys like me on. F*ck you f*ck you you f*cking wh*re.

Yep, nice guy.

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Caro Caro

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Phew, you dodged a bullet. Creepy AF.

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In high school a guy I barely knew tried to convince me to tell my parents that I was going to a friends house but really go hang out with him. I was normally rebellious but got the feeling that my parents would be right in telling me I couldn’t spend time with him. I politely rejected his offer and blamed my parents so it wouldn’t be awkward and he retaliated by covering my dad’s car in dyed tampons. Patrick, you’re a f*cking creep.

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Foxxy (Not Original)

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Ummm

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I lost a bunch of weight and my ex from high school contacted me out of the blue. He pretended he wanted to catch up and claimed that he was in a committed relationship so I let him visit me. I was very naive. Long story short, we had non-consensual sex and he outright said that the reason he contacted me was that I owed him my body because he suffered so much embarrassment having to date me while I was fat.

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Caro Caro

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Ladies and gentlemen, that is what I call a fu*king basterd who needs to be castrated. That poor girl.

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So not a stereotypical nice guy really, but I met him at a party, gave him a ride home and after belting out "don't stop believing" together, he asked for my number. We went on one date, and texted for a week. Then Saturday morning, I woke up to 50+ texts that started with asking what I was doing (sleeping because i worked in the morning) and went all the way up to "I should just kill myself since no one wants to talk to me"

I told him that was unacceptable as I had already told him i worked saturday morning, but even if I hadn't theres no reason to text me over 50 times. If I'm not answering, I'm not answering.

He whined about being so nice, and how good he was to me and blah blah blah blah blah. Thankfully, when my friends asked why i was ignoring such a nice guy, showing them the texts was enough for them to drop it.

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Samantha Lomb

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Threatening suicide is emotional abuse and a huge red flag to get out now

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The one that was the most upsetting was a guy who had been my friend for years, who I was close to and confided in, telling me my boyfriend at the time had cheated on me. I wanted to confront the boyfriend and this "friend" kept dissuading me, telling me to just drop contact with him, and trying to comfort me with physical contact.

Obviously I still confronted my boyfriend. He said no such thing happened. And it turned out my friend had made it all up.

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QueenMiri

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Unacceptable. What the f**k. I would have freaked on him.

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I was friends with a coworker. We had hung out a few times socially after work and got along well but it never really occurred to me to wonder if he was interested in me. At that point in my life I did not get a lot of male attention, and honestly was pretty cringey myself, but that's for a different thread.

Anyway we were walking side by side and I guess he went to put his arm around me. It surprised me (like that 'someone is tapping you on the opposite shoulder' trick) and I turned abruptly. He took it as incredibly rude, gave me an angry lecture about leading people on and how disgusting you make someone feel when you literally flinch from their touch, and called me a b*tch. Uh... sorry for my reflexes?

About a week later another friend came to me at work to let me know that guy was telling everyone I was a whore who was sleeping my way through the department. Nice!

The dumbest part was that I probably would have gone on a date with him if he'd asked--I just had no idea he was thinking along those lines. Bullet dodged!

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CatWoman312

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If he was going around work saying that you could report him to HR. It’s creating a hostile work environment

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I went on a first date with a guy, casual date for coffee. It wasnt terrible but it was obvious that we didn't really click that well. He did the typical "nice guy" stuff during the date where he talked about how he was different from other guys, knew how to treat a woman, some talking down on "gym bros", etc.

I ended the date pretty quickly as I wasn't really feeling it, and had just gotten off of a midnight shift so it was past my "bedtime".

He insisted on walking me to my car and opening the door for me. Fine, whatever. Then he hugged me, and when we went to break apart, he tried kissing me. I turned my face and he immediately got agitated, blocked me from entering my car and said "What?!? No kiss?!".

I'm a pretty easy-going and tolerant person but that was the first time something like that had ever happened and I immediately felt a slight bit of fear, as the guy was blocking my car and was about 6'4 - so much larger than me. I immediately put on my super serious face and said "No, sorry. I really need to be getting home now". and luckily he moved.

Took a bit of a break from dating after that.

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Caro Caro

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He was different from other guys?? As soon as a bloke says that you have to run like a rabbit. Friggin creep.

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There was a customer who came into the coffee shop where I worked. I asked him what he wanted to drink and he moaned, "Something that will fix a broken heart..."

I forced a smile while he told me that he had been stood up... again. I smiled through all of it and when he still hadn't told me what he was going to order, I suggested what I like to drink. He asked what it would cost, and I said, "No charge. Tomorrow's another day."

I made his order and went back to finish washing dishes.

He came back in and brought me a Cosmo magazine, saying he was a magazine vendor and he thought I might like it and thanks for being nice. I said no problem, wished him a good night and forgot about him.

A few days later, my co-worker races to the back to tell me this guy was back and blocking our drive thru. Now, when he came in last time, I had my wedding ring on a necklace because I didn't like to wear it when I was washing dishes. I asked her what he wanted and she said he was demanding to talk to me.

I said, "Tell him I'm not here."

She says, "He saw your car."

OKAY THAT IS CREEPY. He knew what I was driving?

I reluctantly come out after popping my wedding ring on my finger. The guy has a large bundle of carnations and a box of chocolate and is in one of those big old 1970s vans with the little circle window on the back row.

I made sure my ring was very visible and made sure to fiddle with it. I came up to the window and asked how I could help, and he saw my ring. His face reddened and his tone became very threatening.

"Where did you get that ring?"

"This ring? My husband gave it to me on our wedding day seven years ago."

He is pissed. He begins to bellow at me.

"YOU WEREN'T WEARING THAT LAST TIME!"

"I was, you just didn't see--"

"QUIET YOU B*TCH! IT'S F*CKING SL*TS LIKE YOU THAT KEEP NICE. GUYS. LIKE. ME. FROM. GETTING. A. DATE!!!"

He threw the carnations at the window as we pulled it shut in a panic. He beat on his steering wheel and honked the horn and yelled profanities. We were about to call the police and were locking the cafe doors when he squealed out of the drive thru, almost knocking the patio furniture over.

Yeah. He was a super nice guy.

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Caro Caro

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It' not his heart that needs fixing but his head.

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I started talking to this guy from Tinder. We agreed to go on a date together, but when he arrived at the bar we were meeting at, I realized he cat-fished me. I called him out on this, told him it wasn’t going to be a good idea for us to date, and left. The guy proceeded to call me once a day for the next week, claiming we had such a good time that night, and we could be friends. After the first week, he started leaving nasty voicemails telling me that I don’t deserve such a nice guy like him. By week three, he just started screaming into my voicemail that I belonged to him. I kept the messages for a month in case the psycho ever found out where I worked or lived.

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Willowbilly

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I'm glad you're safe from that mess!

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I had a date with a guy I met through OKCupid. When he found out that I was (at the time) writing erotica for a living, he put his hand very gently on mine and asked, with all the sincerity in the world, 'Who hurt you?'

No one hurt me, guy. I got paid money to write stories about people d*ckin' each other, and I had a whale of a time. He absolutely would not believe that I enjoyed my job, and that I wasn't lashing out as a result of some obvious sexual trauma I'd had in my past that he could somehow 'save' me from. God only knows how actual sex workers cope on dates if that's a common approach to people who aren't terrified to openly discuss penises.

There was no second date.

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Caro Caro

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I don't know why but this creeps me out big time. brrrrr

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I've seen two guys get into a fist fight at an office Christmas Party over who was going to 'help' an intoxicated 27 year old married woman get home...

I managed one of these guys and subsequently found out he had sent her 80 emails in one day with all that 'why wont you talk to me' 'we're friends' etc stuff. He was fired but couldn't see how he had done anything wrong.

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Samantha Lomb

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Good on the workplace for canning the creep

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I met a guy one night after a night out. Exchanged numbers, he was handsome, seemed normal. We met for dinner, and I was surprised when he brought flowers and a bottle of wine, as it was our first date and we knew nothing about each other yet. Throughout dinner, I noticed that he would ask questions, but not listen to my answers. He seemed in his own world, as if he was preparing his next question. Very robotic. He mentioned that his sister was out of town and he was house-sitting for her in the building a few blocks away. Okay...even though he weirded me out a bit, I was young and still felt like things were going fairly well. Anyways, when we left, he was walking me to my car. I was wearing heels, and as such, felt comfortable holding onto the crook of his arm for support as we walked. As we walked, he tried to persuade me to come into the apt building that he was supposedly house-sitting. “We’ll go up to the rooftop,” he said. “BEST VIEW IN HOLLYWOOD.” Which was the clincher for me, bc it was so corny, and also so creepy. I kept saying “No, no, I have to get up early, etc..” when we got next to the building, he tightens his grip on me and said “What’s your problem??” His facade dropped and he looked scary, and angry. “I bought you flowers, I brought wine, I paid for dinner..” as if he was checking off ABC is supposed to equal D. Then; “WE WERE HAVING FUN WERENT WE???” And was pulling me towards the door and twisting my arm. I pulled away from him and literally ran to my car and pulled off. I have no doubt he would have raped/worse, me if I hadn’t. I know this is beyond NiceGuys but the way he felt that he had systematically performed his steps and earned more from me..the horror stays with me. TL;DR first date with a normal-seeming, handsome guy who seemed to think if he robotically went through the steps of a successful first date, that I owed him to be forced into an apt building and got scary angry when I refused/I had to run

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Caro Caro

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OMFG that poor girl must have been scared out of her mind.

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in middle school, guy stutters out a question on if I'd want to go to a dance with him. Well, he seems real shy, but nice enough, hell, why not. Go to dance and he literally says not one word. I assume after attempting conversation that this is going nowhere. His friend comes up to me the next day at school and tells me he's so happy that Guy and I are dating. Huh? Apparently everyone now 'knows' that we are dating. I go up to Guy, and ask him what's going on with this - he didn't ask that, he asked me to a school dance and then didn't say a word for 4 hours straight. He nods at me and just smiles. Friend tells me that it's okay, Guy is a really nice guy. I tell Guy that until he actually asks me out, we're not dating. I then get a 10 minute long voicemail that night from him telling me how he's going to break into my house and do all sorts of things to me because I don't appreciate him. My father did not find it as funny as the joke Guy then pleaded it was when he got called out on it.

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Caro Caro

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Good girl for going to your dad.

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I was 21 at a bar doing “research” for a paper and this really old, beer gut kind of business looking dude starts talking to me, telling me I’m cute, asking to buy me a drink. I say no thanks, not interested, and he says I’m not pretty enough to reject him.

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Samantha Lomb

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It is amazing how many men go straight to personal insults when rejected or challenged. I assume its because they are entitled and not used to being rejected/ called out

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A guy at a bar bought me a drink (even though I really tried to not accept it), and he asked me if I was single. I told him that I was dating someone and he took the drink back and called me an “ugly wh*re.” Uh... okay... haha

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Caro Caro

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Always after rejection the woman is a b or a w.

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My ex would always state how nice a guy he was and how lucky I was to have such a nice guy like him when there's so many dickbags in the world. Never mind the fact that he was an emotionally abusive nutso who not only more than once called me a c*nt and a whore but also decided to use my apple ID to secretly track my whereabouts to try to catch me doing something, anything, he could think to yell at me for. I once stopped for red bulls at the nearby bar since it was closer than the grocery store or gas station. He scolded me for lying to him about running errands. No matter how much I told him it was for red bulls, he was convinced I was out cheating on him. Sure glad to be rid of such a "nice" guy.

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Bobert Robertson

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If you need to tell someone you're a nice guy, chances are you aren't a nice guy, since real nice guys don't think of themselves as nice guys, just guys.

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I was sitting at the bar by myself and this guy in a fedora comes up to me and we just start talking. He seems okay, we got into some casual conversation, then he starts talking about how he thinks girls should be nice to him if he does something nice for them. i.e. open the door for them or buy them a drink.
I tried for a sold half hour to get him to understand that a girl was not going to fall head over heels for someone who thought that opening the door for them meant that they were a knight in shining armor. I tried very hard but he just would keep talking over me.

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Caro Caro

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I had that once. I said "go away". Then after 3 seconds I said "I'm not interested, go away". Finally I just said "Fu*k Off" really loud. It worked.

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I had just begin dating after a bad breakup and was out on my second date with this really nice guy when he turned to me while driving me home and told me “I am going to marry you one day.” I actually laughed at him and asked him why he thought that and he told me “because we guessed each other’s middle names on our first date.” Umm... what?

I broke up with him not too long after. We got back together several months later and have been married almost 5 years. Joke’s on me.

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Watching

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I'm totally thrilled it all worked out for you though. Hugs.

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I'm a guy, but I have a gay friend who would always try to give me massages to "relax" me then slowly work his way to other areas. He tries to contact me all the time to hang out and give me a place to "chill." Yeah, no.

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Samantha Lomb

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Why are you still "friends"? Its clear he is creeping on you and doesn't respect boundaries

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I work retail, and have for more than 25 years.

I once (about 9 years ago, when I worked in a liquor store) had an older customer that would come in, and (I thought) play flirt with me.

A lot of customers play flirted with me, so I didn't think anything of it. Plus, this guy was, like, twice my age....and I was no spring chicken. I had no idea that he seriously thought we were really flirting.

Until one day...

...he asked me out. Not in a regular way, mind you...oh, no. He said, "So, we've known each other for a while, now....I'll just wait until you're off tonight, and then we can go out. I'll take you to (expensive restaurant)!"

I politely declined.

He went ballistic!

Long story short, the manager banned him from the store for life.

Thank god!

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Thundernight

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You have a great manager

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He wanted to impress upon me what a good guy he was, and he was also too scared to ask me out like a normal person. He killed two birds with one stone by having his "split personality" tell me it really wanted to kill me, but Nice Guy was bravely holding it back because he liked me so much. Obviously I fell head over heels immediately.

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Caro Caro

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Oh yes, lovely. /s

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I was on a dating website but hadn't logged in in a little bit. When I did I found two messages from the same guy. The first one was telling me that he thought my profile was great, he had a dog and loved hiking. Okay, cool, I enjoy those things. The second one came two days later saying how "I guess you don't want something real, b*tch". His first message was actually decent so if it wasn't for his crazy nice guy follow up I might have given him a chance.

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Guido Pisano

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seems a good advice: wait 2 days before anawering

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Some weird guy was grinding on me at the club and I was clearly uncomfortable, so "nice guy" swooped in to save me and told the other guy I clearly didn't want it- I was pretty grateful initially. 10 minutes later he proceeded to grab my waist and started grinding on me... I told him I had a boyfriend, and he said I didn't have a right to "friendzone" him after he saved me from the other dude and that I was probably lying about my boyfriend. I had to show him Facebook proof for him to drop it and then he called me a b*tch and walked away. Like ok?

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Devil's Advocate

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Probably a set-up!!

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I married my high school sweetheart. So in college we had been dating for three years already very solidly. One day two of my closer male friends came to visit me at my on campus job and both were really odd and kind of pushy about us hanging out later. My boyfriend/future husband was in school about 30 miles away and was very secure in our relationship, had no problem with me having male friends. So I go hang out with these guys and they get really sweet and over the top with compliments and making dinner and all these things. So I get really weirded out and say, “I’m going to get going. Me and my boyfriend are hanging out later.” And suddenly the feeling in the room shifts and one of the guys says, “Why are you going to see him? I thought you broke up.” Turns out some other girl with my name broke up with her boyfriend that day and they both thought it was me. So they decided to have some weird competition to be my next boyfriend. Or they wanted a threesome?! I have no idea. I booked it out of there. In case you are wondering, neither of them were invited to our wedding.

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Devil's Advocate

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At least they were slightly normal compared to most on this list

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I've chatted with guys, usually acquaintances at a party/bar/get together, who get angry and offended if they find out I'm not single or not looking to go home with them.

Even if it's basic small talk or we're chatting as a part of group and there's zero flirting involved, you're treated like you're intentionally leading them on or wasting their time when all you did was talk about work or the weather. Hey, you asked if I was interested and I immediately set the story straight

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Chiuki

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It's not a supermarket where you just pick one and take them home. Seems so many guys think something is owed to them... it's NOT.

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I was 18 as a cashier and had this foreign man come in. He was like... 50. He showed me a watch (Rolex) and told me he was a very rich man. He wanted to show me more he had in his car outside.

Stranger danger.

He got angry and stormed out. Thought that was the last of him.

Next day I got in and he was waiting for me to open my register. He has a box in hand. In broken English he spoke :

'ah beautiful American woman, please be my bride. We make babies beautiful together until end of day'

Inside the box was a rather large ring with a rather larger stone. Unfortunately, I declined. He stormed out never to be seen again.

Maybe one day he will find his beautiful American lass.

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Mark Vella

Mark Vella

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3 years ago

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unfortunately?

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Kept trying to hug me.

Like...every time he would see me. I'd never hug him back, yet he kept trying. I was a work study then, and he'd go to where I worked just to see me. I'd be walking down the hallway with a professor and they'd watch this guy 5x the size of me open his arms to hug me as I walked by him.

Idk if it counts as "nice guy" bit it was really cringy.

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Deborah B

Deborah B

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3 years ago

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I think in this situation, it's best to say "I'm not comfortable being hugged. Please don't hug me anymore." Because some people are socially awkward - they know they want to be close, and don't neccessarialy recognise that it is not appropriate.

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