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In a sense, online dating is like gambling — only very few hit the jackpot. The chances of meeting someone kind, generous, gentle, and compassionate are, well, extremely low. Yet, thousands of lonely souls still spend hours looking at their screens, being lured into believing their one true love is just a swipe away.

But as so many of us have learned from personal experience, this whole dating game is not for the faint of heart. It’s full of uncomfortable situations, tasteless jokes, and pretentious people who believe they somehow have a right to treat others like pawns in their little games. And there are plenty of women who had the "pleasure" of encountering such guys and decided to call them out.

Enter Bye Felipe, an Instagram account that posts screenshots submitted by women who seem to be on a mission to expose the most vulgar and downright creepy online daters out there. We handpicked some of the most surprising posts we found on the account, so continue scrolling and be sure to tell us what you think about them in the comments!

Bye Felipe (the name is a play on the Bye Felicia meme, often used as a dismissive farewell) was created in 2014 by author, speaker, and podcast host Alexandra Tweten. It started as a means to allow women to share the most offensive messages they have received via dating sites and apps and hold men accountable for online harassment.

When Tweten started posting screenshots of her online dating misfortunes, her email flooded with submissions from others with similar experiences. "I realized these hostile messages were a trend that women see online," she told The Huffington Post. "That started a conversation about creating an Instagram to keep all of these insane messages so we could discuss them. All women get some degree of creepy or weird messages when they sign up for online dating sites."

"It's a standard reaction that I've now seen over and over again with the submissions," she noted. "Guy hits on girl, girl doesn't respond, guy lashes out with insulting message. It really shows the entitlement these guys feel, and I think it shows our cultural misogyny problem."

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To better understand the world of online romance, we reached out to Abi Blears, a UK-based dating coach and matchmaker. "Apps can be a brilliant addition to meeting people in real life and enable us to connect with people we might not cross paths with otherwise. However, there are downsides to them," she told Bored Panda.

Blears explained that apps give us a false perception of having a great deal of choice and might make us feel like people are easier to replace. "They also inadvertently make us focus on things that might not be that important," she added.

"They encourage us to make snap decisions about people based on very little information. Another downside to an app is that you could fall victim to a catfish (someone who is pretending to be someone they are not), in the real world it’s harder to be misled."

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#6

Trolling Fuckboys. 🌮🌮🌮🌮 🙌 Genius. #byefelipe

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Caro Caro
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He probably thinks women are part unicorn, we fart rose petals and s**t glitter.

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#8

*does Not Compute* 🤷🏻‍♂️

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Caro Caro
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh dear. And there we have it, that very important word and he doesn't know what it means.

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When asked why so many women have online dating horror stories to share, Blears believes this is not necessarily specific to dating apps. "Everyone who has dated a lot has likely had a bad experience somewhere along the way or dated someone who behaves less than ideal. People tend to share negative experiences and remember negative experiences more readily than positive ones," she said and added that for every negative online dating story out there, there’s likely a positive one.

Yet, matching with someone on an app doesn’t have the same level of accountability compared to meeting them in real life through friends or in the workplace. "You’re more likely to be respectful of someone if you know it could impact your peer relationships or life in the future. If you meet someone on an app, there’s less of a chance that you’ll run into them in the future or that your peers will hear about any nefarious behavior," she said.

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While toxic masculinity might be one of the main reasons men believe they have a right to act this way, Blears said it’s important to not encourage the narrative that men shouldn’t express their emotions. Women can be abusive too and men are less likely to report abuse because it’s deemed by some to be emasculating, she added. "That said, it’s not even nearly on the same scale and toxic masculinity does need to be explored and dealt with."

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When it comes to online harassment, each situation is different. However, if someone is being directly abusive, "the best thing to do is to remove yourself from the interaction. If you’re on an app, block and report the person. It’s important to know your own boundaries and uphold them."

"For example, you might have a zero-tolerance for being sworn at and the person you’re talking to swears at you. If you think they are generally reasonable, the approach would be to express how it makes you feel when they do that, express what you want in the future, and express the consequences if they repeat to offend. Then stick to your word."

She continued: "It’s also important not to get too wrapped up with people who are only nice from time to time, if someone isn’t consistently nice then they aren’t nice and it’s not your role to change them, as tempting as that might be."

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As you scroll through this post, you might feel discouraged to dive back into the deep waters of the dating pool. If that’s the case, Blears has some suggestions for you. If having nightmarish experiences is a reoccurring theme, she advised considering how you’re using the apps, finding out if there are any common issues, and seeing how you can avoid repeating them.

“If it’s a one-off experience, it’s important to remember that whilst there are bad people online, there are also many good people out there so don’t let one negative experience tarnish your entire outlook. Pace your relationships slowly moving forward so that you do not become overly invested in someone very quickly. In time, people reveal their true colors so staying grounded in reality and not rushing things is key."

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Blears told Bored Panda that the most important factor with online dating is not only your physical safety but your emotional safety too. "You want to only continue conversing with people who are consistent in their behavior and who make you feel either good or neutral."

"It might come as a surprise but someone who is overly keen very early on might not be as safe an option as a guy who is more neutral and takes time to reveal his feelings. There’s a balance to be struck," the dating coach added.

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"If you aren’t sure about taking it from online to offline, it’s perhaps wise to suggest a phone call or a video date before meeting up. If you’re generally worried about safety, you can suggest a daytime date somewhere public and be sure to inform a friend of your whereabouts. No matter how tempting, I would not recommend traveling in someone’s car when on a first date, going to their home or bringing them to yours," Blears concluded.

#25

I Don’t Believe You.

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River Webb
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

plastic ones seem to take it well, not sure about real women

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#28

What Does It Mean???

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#31

Hope You All Played April Fools On Some Idiots Today. #byefelipe

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Francisco Manuel Teruel Gutiérrez
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Horny, in a hotel, desperately looking for matches... You should reconsider your life, that's so low level.

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#35

Men Are Canceled. 😂 (Issa Joke.) Credit: @erinmcnaughton05

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#40

Hey Chin, There's A Tinder Dude Hollering At You. Want To Go To His Place? Chin: Nope. #byefelipe

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mystique
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

bruh.why do you just automatically go into insult mode when you are rejected???

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#45

🚨incel Meltdown Level 10!! 🚨

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Mayo
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How's that silly? I dont want to give my address to a random stranger from the internet I don't know. They could be gangster, rapist, murderer. All of the above, could be an annoying begger...

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#46

Can We Fund An Anthropological Study To Find Out Why Men Are So Fucking Weird?!?!?!

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Mayo
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"You're really not attractive enough to say no to me" Bruhz, that's what insurrectionists would've said, bro!

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#47

At Least He’s Aware?

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#49

When The Guy You’ve Been Chatting With For One Day Shows His Ass But You Thought He Had Potential

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Yumiko
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

definitly blame everyone but themselves "it's the audition" 😠

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#52

When You Look Up His Public Record Before You Meet 🙂 “Dude Had A Domestic On His Record And Two Orders Of Protection. I Got Deleted Once I Called Him Out 🤣 #goodriddance” Thanks @saeraveikko!

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Ember
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Great idea to check up on the person you’re talking to. Protect yourself ladies.

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#55

This Felipe Brought To You By @tindernofilter #byefelipe

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Ember
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

....and straight to the insults again when they perceive rejection

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#56

Really Proving Her Point Here. Do You Know What Misogyny Means? #smh 😆#byefelipe

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Hex Gurls
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

*gasp* me being sexist and a horrible person to women is … misogyny?? the horror!!

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#60

“I Just Can’t Get With A White Girl Who’s Like... Way Against Air Pollution While Concurrently Breathing.”
thank You, @leftswingfling!

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#63

#maleentitlement 👆 #byefelipe

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Ember
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh.....no red flags there.....seems like he’s a great catch

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#65

👌 Brian Seems Really Respectful!

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Ernie Tabuena
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think that’s the first time in history the words “g******g” and “respectful” have been used in the same sentence.

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#68

What Friend Gives Your Number To A Strange Creeper??? 😖 #niceguysfinishlast

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steaky
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Smooth. Who doesnt like to be insulted before going on a date.

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#69

Take A Hint, Bro #byefelipe

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Yumiko
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

at least these people are fast to be recongnized as people to avoid

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#71

Is It Just Me Or Is The Wave On Messenger Creepy Af?

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Yumiko
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

do guys think this works? do guys think this does anything but get the woman to run away or here just not answer?

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#75

Bobs And Vagene
ty @mollysharms

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Yumiko
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

THESE PEOPLE ARE SCARY! I mean it ! how do they switch in an instant from I'm interested to I never was interested to b***h c**t to we can be friends????????????? I DO find this scary

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#76

Thank You To All The Soldiers Who Campaigned To Get Out The Vote On Tuesday. At Least He Was Honest?

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#77

Worst Game Ever.🙅 #byefelipe

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Droopsnoot
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So when a guy doesn't like fat girls, she's good enough to smash but nit good enough for a relationship? You would think they think the other way around, but understanding misogynists is like solving why humans exist

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#81

At Least He Got It Out Of The Way? 😂 #byefelipe

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Lady Goldberry
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So he is looking for a woman who doesn't want equal rights, and will be happy to play second fiddle in their relationship?

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#85

I ❤️ 🧀🧀🧀🧀🧀🧀 Via @angcast

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#89

The 3 Stages Of Online Dating. 😂 #byefelipe #tinderfail

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#91

Fetlife #byefelipe

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Yumiko
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

is everyone finding this normal? I find these guys "you don't f**k with me then die" very dangerous sounding (not just wating people to exist to have sex or him or not exist but isn't that a threat? after 1 rejection? how tdo these guys deal/react to real problems!?)

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#92

💁 Ok Bye!!!!! #byefelipe

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Bron
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or just another woman who has dignity and self respect and who owes you nothing?

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#93

Read Til The End 🙄🙄🙄

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Allison B
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They both just said nope. Compared to others on this list this isn't bad.

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#97

Hostile Because She Didn't Use The Heart Eyes Emoji. A New Low. #byefelipe

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Francisco Manuel Teruel Gutiérrez
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh, now I know how to answer my wife when she doesn't insert heart eyes in her messages. Thank you for this life lesson, random guy!

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#101

I Have Been Getting Submissions Of Terrible Dating Messages For Over 7 Years At This Point, And I Feel Bad That I Oftentimes Don’t Get Through All Of My Dms, But Today I Came Across This One From 2016 And It’s A Doozy! This Man’s Complete Lack Of Understanding Of Humor Is… Something!

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Jerry The Joker
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow I'm surprised he's not calling the Guinness book of world records.

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#102

When They Slide Into Your Dms Demanding Attention 🙄🙄🙄

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Tracy Aubrey
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is just being rude, if you don't like the guy just tell him so that he can move on.

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#105

More Depth!

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#111

Insecurity Is A Hell Of A Drug. 😬
this Was On Plenty Of Fish

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Donkey boi
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dude, if it takes an hour, you REALLY don't know what you're doing!

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#112

Tale As Old As Time. #byefelipe

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#113

Here’s A Gem 💎

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Bacony Cakes
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Second amendment girlfriend? Does that mean she gets to shoot you and walk away with no consequences? Bargain.

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#114

Dear Men, The World Is Not Your Dating App. This Is From Words With Friends, Submitted By An Out Lesbian. 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ Also, This Stuff Doesn’t Just Happen On Dating Apps, It’s Fucking Everywhere 🌀🌀🌀 #byefelipe

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Bacony Cakes
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

(bad mandem impression again) Dis not good, blud. Man won't stop!

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#120

😑 Yeah, Right. #byefelipe

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Allison B
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If only he stopped after his second text. Should have just left it at the no problem text man

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#121

No One Wants To Have A Conversation With A Logo. #byefelipe

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Paul Ellis
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've read all 121 of these screenshots. This is, without doubt, the most depressing Bored Panda ever. I'm mortally embarrassed by the entirety of my gender. We don't deserve the love and attention that women give us. Some of the blame can be laid at the door of these infantile kook-up sites, but the stand-out culprit is male insecurity coupled with toxic male aggression. How I would loathe to be a woman in the age of the internet.

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