30 Things Women Don’t Understand About Men

The differences between men and women – the ultimate inexhaustible topic. The one dead horse that we’ll probably keep beating for centuries to come. It seems that everything possible is already said. There are thousands of books and advice columns written about it, movies, TV shows, podcasts – you name it. Yet we’re still here – talking, reading, and writing about it.

This particular thread has gotten quite a lot of attention. When one netizen asked, “Women, what do you find the most confusing about men?“, almost 30k people flocked to the comments to share their thoughts. From what men really think when they fall silent to why pooping takes so long for them – the women of Reddit had many unanswered questions.

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I'm a man. But something that confused my wife is when I suddenly take a deep breath for no reason. She's like "are you ok? You sure? Anything you need to talk about? What's going on?" And I just say "nah I'm fine, think I just forgot to breathe and catching up".

Zenith2012 , Kelvin Valerio/ pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

110points

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Bored something 9 months ago

It's me who does that and my husband asks what's wrong.

50points

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My wife's biggest gripe is that I will spend time hiking / drinking / driving / whatever with friends I haven't seen in months, and when I get home I will have absolutely nothing to report back despite having talked solidly with them for six hours.

My wife on the other hand will casually pass a friend in the street and within ten minutes knows what theyve done every day since they last spoke, the health and financial status of them and all other friends and relatives, and a forward facing calendar for the next three months.

gazhole , Axxel Hernandez/ pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

107points

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Alvia Vseobecna 9 months ago

:D :D :D hahaha, yes, incl. the forward facing calendar :D

17points

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I cannot understand the logic that you want me to get a full time job and work just as hard as you during the week, but also want all the comforts of a 1950’s housewife without putting in any of the work yourself.

squidkiosk , Anastasia Shuraeva / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

105points

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Jill Rhodry 9 months ago

but...but...but...they take out the trash and mow the lawns once a week, it's even!

41points

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Are men and women really that different? Are we bound to not understand each other for the rest of time? It's true that many Americans think that way. The Pew Research Center did a survey in 2017 where they asked men and women whether they see gender differences. The majority claimed they do, but their opinions on whether it's biological or societal differ.

Women believe the differences between men and women appear because of societal expectations. Men, on the other hand, say that these differences are biological.

The researchers asked the respondents about such things as physical abilities, how each gender expresses their feelings, and hobbies and personal interests. Interestingly, both men and women agreed that both genders are basically the same when it comes to work-related skills.

I don’t find this confusing, more sad. A lot of men aren’t told how handsome, sexy, good looking they are. I tell my husband how much he turns me on daily, and I feel like women get that all the time but men, not so much.

Edit: Dang this blew up. I just want to say all you guys deserve to be told how sexy you are and you should definitely let it be known! I don’t think a lot of partners out there realize how much you’d appreciate it.

Twingrlie , Marlon Schmeiski/ pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

99points

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Tobias Reaper 9 months ago

i recently grew beard my best friend told me i look like a hot Viking it made my year

48points

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When my boyfriend is quiet for too long and I ask him what he’s thinking about, and he says simply, “nothing”, and shrugs. This happens at least twice a month.

What … what do you mean … nothing???? You can actively sit there and just wipe your brain clean??? No buzz buzz?? Just elevator music behind the eyes???
What kind of f*****g superpower is that and where do I sign up??

devilcheeeks , Mikhail Nilov/ pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

92points

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Jrog 9 months ago

"nothing" just means we are well into a train of thoughts, and we don't really want to share because it would take way too much time and explanations, so we would very much prefer going on with our musings undisturbed.

50points

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You can be completely oblivious to any mess in the house but can spot a wall has been brush painted in the wrong direction from 20ft away.

babygem84 , Ksenia Chernaya/ pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

74points

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Gustav Gallifrey 9 months ago

Mess in the house is something that can be quickly and easily rectified. A badly-painted wall is an abomination that you've got to live with for some time.

33points

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Is there a way to find out which is really true? Are the differences between men and women biological or is it actually nurture, not nature? It's a difficult topic to approach as an academic. Bias can even exist in research. There is no consensus on the issue even at this time. Some researchers believe that people are born being more masculine or feminine. English clinical psychologist Simon Baron-Cohen is in that camp with his E-S theory.

Others, like philosopher Judith Butler, assert that gender is performative. According to her, we establish gender identity through behavior, so different behaviors can construct different genders. Not-so-academic and more easily digestible proponents like British science journalist Angela Saini invoke science.

She's the author of Inferior: How Science Got Women Wrong – And the New Research that’s Rewriting the Story, and says that we shouldn't have equality because science says it's possible. "There's no reason why we can't have equality if we want it," she told Slate. "Science doesn't say that equality is impossible. We are adaptable and plastic as a human species. We can have society any way we want."

You know that meme, where a woman is thinking "huh, he's probably thinking about other women" and in actuality the guy is thinking the most random of things. Yeah. That.

geligniteandlilies , SHVETS production/ pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

74points

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WindySwede 9 months ago

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28points

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Why they can’t find anything that is right in front of them I swear to god I find everyone’s things for them at work!

jumpingnoodlepoodle , Hassan OUAJBIR/ pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

73points

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Ritchat 9 months ago (edited)

This drives me nuts! I swear, I even started to put things out on the counter for him when I know he will need them later and he still just doesn't see them. He's also not able to find things behind other things, even when they are in the same spot as always. It's like this barrier he just can't overcome. Also, it's just so much more convenient to ask me after the first half-assed attempt to find something instead of searching for just 1 more minute.

21points

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I find it confusing how men are so forgiving. It’s one of the things I adore the most about men and find the most baffling. I’m learning now that men will get over things like 40 minutes after they happen and genuinely get frustrated and sad when their girls hold grudges. I’ve found that the people I’ve had falling outs with and was able to rekindle my friendships with were mostly all men.

I also find it weird how men will fight each other and then be best friends the next day.

Full_Nebula_4443 , T Leish/ pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

69points

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Gustav Gallifrey 9 months ago

Life's too short to hold grudges.

27points

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#10

Why do men always have the prettiest and longest eyelashes?

Horny_Mandrake , Jose Musa/ pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

68points

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Porribix 9 months ago

We don't mess with them :)

62points

SadieCat17 (she/her) 9 months ago

Literally no. Testosterone gives you thicker eyelashes. Stop blaming women for things out of their control.

7points

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Leviathan 9 months ago

I used to have long beautiful white eyelashes {im albino} I hated them, so I would color them in, Black for stark, brown for natural, and if I dyed my hair crazy {loved the pink and looked great when it grew out!} I go with the same shade, but I usually use Benefit Lash Primer: Mink brown for everyday use, I also have distichiasis, or double eyelashes, and sadly for the last month the bottom lashes have been growing Back into my eye, so i had to have them all plucked {not as painful as you think if you have a shot of whisky} and have to wait for them to grow in right, I have to keep plucking the ones that go back toward my eye tho, and my right eye [it's blind} is worse so I have to pluck the top sides, so only the middle of my top eyelashes are there, I hope by summer it fixes!

6points

TheAmericanAmerican 9 months ago

Because we are hairy beasts lol

3points

Szzone 9 months ago

We don't know. I'm one of those men. My long, pretty eyebrows are wasted on me. Trust me I'd trade them for some extra height and less fat.

3points

Diane H 8 months ago

To attract women, just like the male peacock is prettier than the hen, lol

2points

Angrykitten 9 months ago

Men in general just have thicker facial hair, affects eye lashes too. I will take my mascara over a man's beard any day

2points

Charles McChristy 9 months ago

Because we don't gunk them up.

2points

Daddy’s Girl 9 months ago

And generally long trim legs. My brother had the nicest legs. Me? Meh

2points

Philybeef 9 months ago

Eyelashes are not purely for looks. They're a safety mechanism to help keep our hair, dust, and other minute particles away from our eyes. Typically men work in outdoors and other harsh environments so longer eyelashes are useful for us.

1point

rullyman 9 months ago

Testosterone encourages hair growth

1point

Tommy DePaul 9 months ago

It encouraged (head) hair to fall out.

0points

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Thatkamloopsguy 9 months ago

Because we don't screw with them.

0points

Huddo's sister 9 months ago

I thought my brothers eyelashes were long, but one of the boys at my work today had even longer ones! Mind you, mine aren't that short. On the rare occasions I wear mascara, I run the risk of it getting on my glasses lenses.

0points

SirWriteALot 9 months ago

Because we needed them while we were hunting for Mammoths and fighting sabre tooth tigers out in the wind and rain and dirt ... while you were in our cave taking care of the little 'uns, not needing your lashes. :-)

0points

Joy 9 months ago

Oh god! I know! My husband has super long lashes. Absolutely stunning!

0points

Alicia M 9 months ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

Andrew Arons 9 months ago

It's my gift; and my curse.

0points

Auntriarch 9 months ago

They don't. It's just that women really notice when men do, and feel aggrieved because dammit they don't need them, we do!

0points

Raphapablap 9 months ago

Men generally have shorter lashes so you'll notice it more when one has longer lashes? I dunno.

0points

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#11

That "we ain't going to the doctor" but the limb has fallen off.

Ok-Championship-9047 , Luciann Photography/ pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

67points

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BTDubs 9 months ago

My dad walked around on a broken leg for weeks before my mom demanded he go to the doctor. Guys, your health isn't trivial, it's vital to you and your family and not going to the doc in some cases is a very selfish act.

44points

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#12

Why they take such a long time to poop.

Do you go in there when you actually need to go or just because you think you might need to go so you just sit for a while to see what happens?

As a woman both kinds of trips to the toilet take the same amount of time for me. But every man I know makes pooping a 30 minute event.

oldMiseryGuts , RDNE Stock project/ pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

64points

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Gustav Gallifrey 9 months ago

It's quiet time. Close the door, guaranteed solitude, do some thinking, read the paper in peace, etc.

46points

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#13

I'm a man, but let me offer something I find confusing about other men, which I'm sure women do too.

Why do you get so defensive when a woman points out some trait of men they've been around that they don't like? Why do you feel personally attacked? If you don't like the accusations that some men are pervs and rapists, what does it matter if you're not a perv or a rapist? The term "not all men" gets thrown around a lot but a) no one said it was and b) it being "some men" is enough that women have to be careful.

All you need to do is not be that guy, and call out s****y behaviour when you can. That's it.

AlterEdward , RDNE Stock project / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

64points

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Ace 9 months ago

If you're making generalisations that imply all, or even most men have any given flaw or bad trait then you really are making a personal attack on me. Of course I'll defend myself and my fellow men against it.

14points

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#14

My gf is still baffled at the fact that I can just turn off my brain and not think of anything

ButtDealer , Khoa Võ/ pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

58points

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SM 9 months ago

I don't know about other men, but it is VERY rare that I'm not thinking of "anything", but I can certainly not think of anything important. Just random thoughts, the kind you can't remember because they never make it out of short-term memory.

21points

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#15

How they're able to have so much fun with their friends all the time
They make digging a hole in the beach with their friends look like the most fun thing in the world I really admire that

Bunnietears64 , Mental Health America (MHA) / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

58points

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White Sauce Hot Sauce 9 months ago (edited)

It's not the activity that's fun. It's just the fact that we're hanging out with the boys.

25points

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#16

The obsession some men have with sports. Personally I don't get it, it's just a bunch of guys throwing a ball around for two hours. I'm not bashing anyone who likes sports, I just don't get it.

Scorchsandwing , ELEVATE / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

57points

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Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 9 months ago

Never got it myself. I'm not a typical man though. I only think about the Roman Empire about once a week instead of every day.

34points

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#17

When they behave as the smartest man in the world and five minutes later as the village idiot.

theblissybliss , Julia M Cameron/ pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

53points

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Gustav Gallifrey 9 months ago

Seen girls do that, too. Financial/budgeting wiz one moment, then boyfriend arrives, she's a total ditz.

22points

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#18

Some men have absolutely no problem picking after themselves at work, but forget how to do it the moment they step into their homes.

I swear it’s like a switch.

How can you keep a whole workshop at work neat and tidy, but forget that the laundry basket exists?

onixma , Andrea Piacquadio/ pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

53points

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birdhouse 9 months ago

Out of my wife and 3 daughters I am the one always picking up, Women / girls are absolute disasters. Hair brushes, clothes, dishes everywhere!

29points

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#19

When a guy will slip something very heartbreaking into a convo , like something an extremely abusive parent did or whatever and he’s talking about it very casually and your like holy f**k my dude are you alright but you can’t actually say that or overreact too much because he’ll never tell you anything again if you do so you have to sit there and be like ahhh yes that sucks dude but inside ur like sir may I hug you please

rubiesandroses , cottonbro studio/ pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

49points

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BenyA. 9 months ago

we don't like being pitied, probably because it makes us feel even smaller or helpless

39points

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#20

Why some men don’t go to the doctor or dentist, unless someone else makes the appointment for them.

macaronsforeveryone , Anna Shvets / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

47points

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David Fox 9 months ago

I do the same. Not because I'm lazy but I hate the fuss. My wife has saved my life more than twice by getting me to a GP. I came out of hospital a week ago with kidney failure because I didn't want a big fuss over a kidney stone.

13points

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#21

So many men I know pass off just this really chill vibe and they all seem to just be cool with each other. How tf do they do it!?!?

Kierevan- , cottonbro studio/ pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

42points

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Steve 9 months ago

We don’t care who has the better outfit, eyelashes, shoes, makeup, hair, purse, butt, etc…

41points

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#22

What happens to your d***s when you run? Do you feel them flop around? And what do you do with it when you ride a bike?

Table_nochairs , Ketut Subiyanto / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

42points

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Gustav Gallifrey 9 months ago

The invention of underwear largely rendered this query superfluous.

76points

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#23

I’m a dude, but why do we all pretty much collectively enjoy digging random holes? Especially at the beach.

Edit: just got back from the beach and yes, I did dig a hole there!

Gamerbrineofficial , Ayman Mustapha Nouas/ pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

41points

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Jared Robinson 9 months ago

Oh s**t it's not just me then?

14points

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#24

When guys are seriously injured but act like its just a scratch… that they can somehow walk it off. All the guys I know are like this.

CherryBlossomSunset , RDNE Stock project/ pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

40points

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David Paterson 9 months ago

Or the exact opposite. Just get a cold and act like they're dying.

45points

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#25

I’ve learned a lot being married to my husband, but there’s one thing I fail to understand in general. Why do you guys like to stare out the window so often? It’s usually just going up to a window or looking out the front door, and you fall into a trance. What’s up with that?

Foops69 , Feyza Yıldırım/ pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

39points

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Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 9 months ago

It's because underneath we're all cats.

72points

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#26

I always tell my wife if it's not (was not): moving, on fire, or naked I didn't see it.

Turd_Fergusons_ , KoolShooters / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

39points

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WindySwede 9 months ago

Or brush painted the wrong way? 😏

41points

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#27

Why can’t they find things? If you ask them to bring you something from the closet, refrigerator, living room, whatever, they can’t find it!

singingkiltmygrandma , Aynur Latfullin/ pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

36points

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Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 9 months ago

Oh I know this one. It's because we lack the ability to look in the right place. In our male brains, it's logical to keep the ketchup in the broom closet so that's where we look.

31points

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#28

Why do guys just sit in silence sometimes. I thought for a long time my boyfriend was sick of me but he was just sitting there with his brain off ig…

Imaginary-Ad-7379 , cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

35points

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Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 9 months ago

We're thinking about The Roman Empire.

27points

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#29

How their crotch doesn't hurt when they run or go up the stairs. Like, even with underwear, you just have stuff hanging down there. I don't even have a large chest and it hurts to run regardless if I'm wearing a bra or not

YourLocalCat-Girl , cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

32points

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Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 9 months ago

TBH I just don't feel it down there. Then again I don't feel much of anything anymore. Not since "The Incident". The only time I feel anything now is when I think about The Roman Empire.

40points

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#30

How can they be so smart, and have so many knowledge about something, but they can be so, so stupid, do they have a switch about topics?