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“Walk Toward An Older Woman And Say, ‘Mom! A Strange Guy Is Hassling Me’”: 40 Women Share Tips To Keep You Safe
Safety is always on a woman’s mind, so women do what they can to support each other. There have been far, far too many cases where they have been followed by strange men on the street. And it’s the kind of thing that shouldn’t ever happen… but occurs far too often in real life.
The women of Twitter have taken to sharing the safety tips that they’ve tried and tested over the years that might help keep you safe if you’re followed by a stranger. User RetroCrone, who started the viral thread in the first place gave an amazing tip, telling teen girls to walk toward older women and say, “Mom! A strange guy is hassling me. He won’t leave me alone.”
Scroll down for the best safety tips, as presented by these women. And if you know something that you know for a fact might help protect someone from a hassler, harasser, or stalker, dear Pandas, share your thoughts in the comments.
Emily May, the Co-Founder and Executive Director of 'Right To Be,' explained to Bored Panda how widespread harassment is and how to respond to it. 'Right To Be' is a nonprofit that works to end harassment in all of its forms and trains people to respond to, intervene in, and heal from harassment.
Image credits: RetroCrone
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Emily, told Bored Panda that L'Oreal Paris and IPSOS recently did some research to determine how widespread harassment is as part of 'Right To Be's' Stand Up Against Street Harassment campaign.
The Co-Founder and Executive Director of 'Right To Be' said: "The 2021 study showed 80% of women have experienced street harassment."
"We're working with L'Oreal Paris to train 1 million people in bystander intervention to address street harassment. People can sign up for free training on our website," she shared. This is something that you should seriously consider doing, dear Pandas.
According to Emily, asking for strangers, e.g. older women, for help is "a great option." People in public places can help if someone is following you.
"Our Stand Up Against Street Harassment Training offers three strategies to use in response to harassment: assess your safety, reclaim your space (optional), and practice resilience. Proven ways to reclaim your space include setting a boundary, asking someone for help, or documenting your harassment," she explained to us.
50 years ago in NYC I had a female friend that would humbly ask if I would accompany her when she had to go to bad sections of town. I was an unpaid bodyguard. I was glad to do it. She eventually moved to LA & became a hugely successful movie producer. We still talk frequently.
If you ask a specific person for help, you're more likely to get it.
Anytime, any place. I got you all. I'm a 6'3 metal-head, please approach us, most of us are good-hearted guys.
And we ladies appreciate the gentle giants of the world!
Load More Replies...The saddest part of this is Superball felt the need to at least say there was an explanation for why they were walking home in club clothes. They're conditioned by society and shitty men to justify wearing what they were wearing when harassmnent shoudnt f*****g happen at all regardless of clothing.
This applies to almost all men, even if they are pricks everyone likes being the hero.
When I was about 19 or 20 I was in a club and was being majorly harrassed by 3 or 4 young men, I was completely freaked and separated from my group of friends, I saw a group of 4 or 5 large hulking men and a few young women sitting at a table and I chose the biggest and burliest and plopped down next to him, pretending to be his girlfriend I leaned over and whispered in his ear what was happening. The group happened to be a few employees/bouncers and they not so nicely threw the group out and a few hours later, my "boyfriend" showed up to my friends table at closing and walked my friends and I out to our car just to be on the safe side. Sometimes it's just about using a little creativity and common sense.
Dear Clair: this person was in a dangerous situation. When they asked for help I don’t think they cared what the gender of the person was. It doesn’t matter if it was a man or women or any other gender that helped what matters is the person is safe.
Thank good that guy was there to distract the stalker. The stalker was probably a Swedish police looking to rape someone
I'm officially convinced that Claire is just Scruff Mc Gruff's alt account or something
From all your replies on this page it seems you lack positivity in your life. I feel sad for you but hope you see it a different way.
Load More Replies...Here in England they have something call Angela, so you go to the bartender and asks if Angela is working, I really like this
Emily from 'Right To Be' stressed that it is vital to remember that it is not your fault if you were harassed or stalked by a stranger.
"There is no such thing as a perfect response to harassment, it's their responsibility not to harass you. Taking time to find a sense of safety inside yourself, educate yourself about the issue, share your story, and learn how to intervene on behalf of others are all key parts of the healing journey," she shared how some victims approach healing after being harassed.
Emily, the Co-Founder and Executive Director of 'Right To Be' (previously ‘Hollaback!’) shared with Bored Panda sometime earlier that parents need to take the time to speak to their children about harassment. It’s a difficult topic, but an important one to tackle. Kids need to know what they might be up against in the future.
“Most parents know they need to talk to their kids about puberty before it happens, but few take the time to talk to their kids about harassment, even though almost half will be harassed by older men by the time they turn 12,” Emily warned.
“We need to equip young people with resources including: what harassment is, what it looks like, how prevalent it is, why it isn’t ok—and most importantly, that it’s never their fault,” Emily from ‘Hollaback!’ explained to Bored Panda.
For some reason I thought that she had called the woman 'Mom' so I was really confused
Unfortunately, most young women who have been the victims of harassment blame themselves for what happened. They’re then more hesitant to speak about what happened with their parents. They’re scared that their loved ones might blame them for what happened. Emily, the Co-Founder of ‘Hollaback!’ said that they’re scared that their relatives will ask them questions like: “Why were you wearing that?” or, “Why did you take that route?”
“In the same way we tell our teenage kids that if they get drunk and don’t feel safe driving home we will pick them up from wherever they are, no questions asked—we also need to tell our kids that if someone harasses them we will never, ever blame them for it or punish them for it,” she gave an analogy.
“This is important for creating a safe space so that they have a trusted adult they can process these experiences with.”
For every weirdo, there's so many more good people in this world. Thank goodness for them.
According to Emily, some victims of harassment never end up regaining their sense of security after the horrible things they went through. However, in some cases, the community can be a vital part of helping women feel safer in their local area.
That was something we had hammered into us early on. Never voluntarily move from the primary location; the secondary location is where you likely die. Scream, fuss, fight, do whatever. Make them have to (potentially) kill you right there on the street with witnesses where they will not have prepared the area how they want. Obviously much harder to fight back with an organised team abduction but those are generally not as common as the opportunistic ones
“One thing that can help you build a sense of safety, however, is community. Take the time to get to know the good folks in your neighborhood and build positive relationships with not just your neighbors, but the people who deliver the mail, the trash folks, the guy that mows your neighbor’s lawn, etc.,” she pointed out that there are a lot of people in the community who could help someone feel much safer.
I don't HAVE kids, but a distressed child voice gets my attention fast. I think it's hard-wired.
Claire needs to be banned from this site. Ffs stfu Claire, you're the only "sad" fool really.
“The more people you know, the more people will have your back if something happens again. Knowing this can increase your sense of safety and belonging in your community,” she explained that safety can come from knowing more members of the community.
These days you don't need to go back and get the plate number, you've got a camera in your pocket. Take pics of the a*****e. Take pics of his car and plate. Take pics of everything. Police probably won't care right now if you already rescued the girl from harassment but if another young woman in that area gets harmed in the near future the police will be VERY interested. Hopefully just knowing someone has photos will deter the guy from doing it again in that area (and yes I know that just moves the problem but enough people do it and there's nowhere for the problem to go).
I was helped by a family once. Will forever be grateful to them.
Psychologist and wellbeing consultant Lee Chambers told Bored Panda that human beings have a desire for certainty and routine that keeps us feeling safe and able to make plans for the future.
“When unpredictable situations or accidents impact us, it can be traumatic, and we will likely feel a sense of disappointment, frustration, and loss," he explained to us.
Yes!! I'm 10 months post and still can't stand to watch or read any story about a baby or mom being hurt.
"It is important however that we embrace the fact that the world can be unpredictable and uncertain, and become more tolerant of this being a reality. Understanding that things are sometimes out of our control helps us to accept that not everything goes to plan, and accept when things happen to us that are negative. This acceptance allows us to embrace the change and difference, and manage our expectations so we can become more resilient to the ups and downs that all our lives lead,” the psychologist spoke about all kinds of situations that we’re not prepared for.
"Post-traumatic growth isn't always simple to explain or utilize, but often the adversity we face can create a precedent for what we can overcome, help us to see what we need to be grateful for, and give us an understanding of the support we do have. A big part of opening the door to grow from our struggles is finding acceptance and taking ownership over what you can control and finding healthy ways to express the negative emotion that comes with challenges that test us," Lee said.
Okay, but I have a very big problem with this post. They were in a BART station. The only thing coming to mind is Bart Simpson from the Simpsons. Also, knocking Claire off top comment. It's getting annoying Claire, it's fine to ask for help when you're in a bad situation.
Most guys are ok too, honestly. Find a kindly looking person in general. If they don't deliver, move on to the next one!
Then you seek help from anyone else who happens to be around. I would personally go up to a man and ask him for help because I'm not sure another woman would be enough to put some creeps off. And I might make the woman herself feel intimidated. I would march up to the biggest bloke I could spot and ask him to help me.
I'm not sure where the nearest police station is, but I live near a fire station. Also a hospital emergency room and a couple of all-night businesses with very brightly lit parking lots.
Ok I’m not social either but that doesn’t mean you should ignore someone who clearly needs help
That's such a scary situation, I'm glad you were able to find a way out.
What I learned: -Fight back -Claire is annoying -Ask for help -Claire is very annoying -Do NOT go to a 2nd location! -Claire is probably a harasser in disguise -People will want to help you, so ask for it if you're in a bad situation. -Claire is an a**e
I wholeheartedly agree with one of the first comments. Parents - bring your sons up better. Teach them to respect everyone, regardless of gender. To respect personal space and to be willing to step in whenever anyone needs them to. Never to be afraid to call out another man over unacceptable behaviour. We need men to make this kind of behaviour a thing of the past.
You're the good Claire and it makes us appreciate you more.
Load More Replies...I'm worried about creeps working as a duo. One harasses the woman and the second one pretends to save her and walks her home... So if a man comes up the save you, that's nice, but maybe don't go along with everything he suggests after that.
I hate to be paranoid, but ever since the story of a girl who was picked up in an ambulance after being gang-ráped and then the paramedics took her away and did jt to her again, I'm more inclined to believe it. Just last week on this very site they mentioned that more than three-quarters of people grooming women and children for people trafficking were women. It's hard to walk that line between common sense and paranoia.
Load More Replies...Claire, I'm sorry that no one was there when you needed them. I'm sorry that you learnt that trusting people to help you was a sign of weakness. I'm sorry you've bought into the mentality that if a person is being hurt or threatened, it's not the business of anyone around them. That keeping your abilities as an independent person is more important than safety. Maybe that people who can't defend themselves don't deserve help. But the world isn't like that. Most people would rather be part of the solution than read about the problem later. Most people want to help other people. If they don't, they'll say "what, I don't know you, buzz off" and the person being harassed will try to find someone else to help them. These stories are meant to empower people to know that there's safety in the people around them, to break out of that "I must do it alone" headspace and ask for help knowing people will help. Again - I'm sorry you've never felt like this was an option.
The more Comments I was reading the more I was thinking omg what has caused Claire to be like this 😔
Load More Replies...If everyone ignores Claire, she'll go back under her bridge like a good little troll.
My partner was late home one evening. He had walked past a group of lads following and harassing a young lass who was crying, and he's not the sort to ignore something like that. He yelled at them to get their attention, and got them to chase him so the lass had enough time to get away. They chased him around on bikes for a couple of blocks before he lost them/they gave up, he was knackered by the time he got home but I was so damn proud of him for doing that.
Dear people: Claire is definitely just some dude pretending to be a girl. The account has only ever interacted with this post. Please lose as little faith in humanity as possible. Thanks!
I taught my daughter to scream "I don't know you, leave me alone" and when travelling on public transport look for someone with government ID tags and sit and talk to them.
I'm middle aged with an epic RBF and frequently packing knitting needles. ( cuz I knit!). My poor hubby feels badly cuz hes 6'6 and sees a lot of ladies cross road rather than walk by him. He's a middle school teacher and a total gentle giant.
Early one morning, it was still dark out, hubby stopped at our local drive-through coffee stand. The barista was someone we know, she quietly asked him to stay until the guy on the other said left. Turns out the other guy was pulling up nude pics on his phone and trying to show them to her. Hubby said he'd stay anytime any of the baristas felt threatened by other customers, just to call him by another name. Last month he was introduced to a new barista, and she was told he was "that guy who would stay if needed".
My wife got followed once as she was walking home from work. It wasn't particularly late but it was in the UK in winter so it was very dark. Luckily she managed to lose him but on her way home she passed two open restaurants so I asked her why she didn't go in ether of them, tell someone there what was happening and ask for help. She said it just didn't occur to her. So (for what it's worth) my best advice is if you're being followed go to where people are and ask for help, make yourself known.
My first thought reading this is that I would be there for any woman or girl in need. Then I kept reading. And then my thought was that some people could be assholes. Then I kept reading. They I just started getting angry at the way women and girls are treated and how normalized it is. My wife and I raised our boy better than that, and I'm glad. But in general, men suck. I'm sorry to anyone who happened to be going the same way I was and thought I was following them.
Holy sh!t, I have never seen a more miserable person than Claire. We get it, you're a strong, independent woman who don't need no man, friend, mother, police officer, father, or help of any kind. You can handle ANYTHING and could fight off anyone with both hands tied behind your back while hopping on one foot. You are a miserable, unlikable little twerp. Perhaps seek therapy?
To Claire who has left a negative comment on nearly every photo in this post: clearly you have never been harassed/abused. I have. It's not fun and you don't always realise what's happening when it's happening. Sometimes your mind goes blank. Sometimes you think you're overreacting about the way they behave. Sometimes you convince yourself there's a reason they're acting the way they are. Point is that there are times that you DON'T react or fight back for whatever reason and it's those times that bad things can happen. It's those times when you wouldn't want someone to ask for permission but rather just step in, before it goes too far. These people are heroes for stepping in and do not deserve your scorn. And the victims sure as heck don't either. Go be a troll somewhere else.
Same but different - a friend's mother with Alzheimer's had wandered off in a shopping mall and was confused and scared and didn't trust anyone who was trying to help her... until a woman walked up to her, hugged her and said "Mom! I am so glad to see you" and my friend's mother hugged her back and they sat on a bench chatting until the woman was reunited with the other people in her group.
I didn't expect this page to come with a subplot. Buzz off, Claire.
Working CS at Walmart. Coming back up to the front registers I hear a little girl crying and then a man's voice. As I got closer- I could understand them.He was telling her he'd take her to her grandma. She was lost. Only, he wasn't taking her in the direction of customer service. He was taking her straight out of the store. I jumped in there so fast. He tried to talk and I told him to zip it and asked her if she knew him. Worst (best?) case she does and I have to apologize for being rude. She shakes her head. I whipped around on him and he had the nerve to grab her arm and tell her let's go. Hell no. Mine. I bent his thumb, he dropped her arm and I pulled her behind me. I'm only 5'3 so he wasn't the least intimidated but finally a few people came to see what all the fuss was so he bolted. Then I ran around trying to find her grandma bc she wasn't coming up when we called over the PA system. I left her behind the counter at CS with 4 girls guarding her. Took 2 hours.
Even though she was loudly crying, not one person was paying attention. Scared the s**t out of me.
Load More Replies...Anyone is welcome to come up to me, call me Mom, Auntie, Sister, Cousin or Friend and I will act like I am aiming for an Oscar.
I would be absolutely scared to date these days. Now men will ask you out with the expectation of a second date and/or a lead up to something further. And if you decline all of a sudden you're deemed out for a "free meal" and may even be called a "gold digger". What do you think on this, ladies?
In many cases yes, men can be very difficult. But there are good men around. I personally would only date colleagues or friends that i trust. I cant be with somebody from tinder. But to each their own i guess
Load More Replies...In the days I grew up it was common for people to turn a blind eye or pervs to be sly. Young girls w low self esteem are targets for attention to prove to themselves they are worthy. You get a shy girl with glasses, or slightly over weight, or clumsy an not flashy like other girls and give them attention they think they are special. Watch out for them too. We aren't given much attention and want it. I was there. Teach them to know the signs so they know when to be wary of these men. I'm a kind person and will hold doors for strangers, let people turn in traffic, but I will watch for the vultures in society, being their target once.
Also, if you can, take some self defense classes. There is an aspect of "muscle memory" to it, so you're not just going to spontaneously remember much from that class if you don't at least keep practicing the techniques on a friend or relative at home (or even an imaginary person). So while something is better than nothing, you really can't do just one workshop and call it good. You're more likely to do what comes naturally to you in an emergency, so make what comes naturally be dangerous to the attacker. But even if you don't know anything, hit, scream, bite, shove your thumbs as deep into those eye sockets as you can. I figure if I have to be scarred by an attack, then they can be scarred too. Also, it's not just moms that will help you. I don't have kids and would still be happy to help. Honestly would probably also turn at the yelling "mom" thing too just thinking someone lost their mom and needs help finding her lol
i'm an old fart now but when i was younger i was stupid to give hitchhikers a lift as i lived in the northwest on an island w/no busses, taxis, etc. no problems until the last time when the guy pulled a knife on me and told me to drive past town. i panicked & then thought if i'm going out i was taking him with me & barreled through town, red lights, weaving back & forth to throw him into the passenger door all the way up to the police station. we both ran out of the car w/him going away & me into the station. never again picked up someone which is sad because one bad person made me suspicious of everyone.
A tip given to me by a couple of medic friends, who got it from a cop friend, is to invest in the biggest Maglite (or similar) you can afford - preferably a 4D cell - and keep it in the door pocket of your car. Anyone tries any funny business, you wallop them with it.
Ok so this reminds me of when I used to host people on Couchsurfing (before capitalist greed ruined it). I had on my profile that I was gay. It was within the first paragraph talking about myself. I got so many women asking me to host them because of that, but would you believe not a single male I hosted knew I was gay? Women would read every detail of a potential host's profile while men would just see a free place to stay. Several of the women I hosted openly said to me that they requested to stay with me because they saw I was gay because they've had questionable experiences with male hosts and some even knew others who had horror stories. It makes me sad really that women need to be so vigilant while men literally don't think twice about staying with a complete stranger.
As a good dude who is 6'3 and pretty tough I wish there was a way of people knowing I'm cool and will look out for anyone who needs it, I'm covered in tattoos and look like an aggressive guy I guess but I am there for anyone who needs it, and if any guy is harassing a girl, woman or anyone else, I will chin that guy.
Could you not have just read the top 20 then?
Load More Replies...What I learned: -Fight back -Claire is annoying -Ask for help -Claire is very annoying -Do NOT go to a 2nd location! -Claire is probably a harasser in disguise -People will want to help you, so ask for it if you're in a bad situation. -Claire is an a**e
I wholeheartedly agree with one of the first comments. Parents - bring your sons up better. Teach them to respect everyone, regardless of gender. To respect personal space and to be willing to step in whenever anyone needs them to. Never to be afraid to call out another man over unacceptable behaviour. We need men to make this kind of behaviour a thing of the past.
You're the good Claire and it makes us appreciate you more.
Load More Replies...I'm worried about creeps working as a duo. One harasses the woman and the second one pretends to save her and walks her home... So if a man comes up the save you, that's nice, but maybe don't go along with everything he suggests after that.
I hate to be paranoid, but ever since the story of a girl who was picked up in an ambulance after being gang-ráped and then the paramedics took her away and did jt to her again, I'm more inclined to believe it. Just last week on this very site they mentioned that more than three-quarters of people grooming women and children for people trafficking were women. It's hard to walk that line between common sense and paranoia.
Load More Replies...Claire, I'm sorry that no one was there when you needed them. I'm sorry that you learnt that trusting people to help you was a sign of weakness. I'm sorry you've bought into the mentality that if a person is being hurt or threatened, it's not the business of anyone around them. That keeping your abilities as an independent person is more important than safety. Maybe that people who can't defend themselves don't deserve help. But the world isn't like that. Most people would rather be part of the solution than read about the problem later. Most people want to help other people. If they don't, they'll say "what, I don't know you, buzz off" and the person being harassed will try to find someone else to help them. These stories are meant to empower people to know that there's safety in the people around them, to break out of that "I must do it alone" headspace and ask for help knowing people will help. Again - I'm sorry you've never felt like this was an option.
The more Comments I was reading the more I was thinking omg what has caused Claire to be like this 😔
Load More Replies...If everyone ignores Claire, she'll go back under her bridge like a good little troll.
My partner was late home one evening. He had walked past a group of lads following and harassing a young lass who was crying, and he's not the sort to ignore something like that. He yelled at them to get their attention, and got them to chase him so the lass had enough time to get away. They chased him around on bikes for a couple of blocks before he lost them/they gave up, he was knackered by the time he got home but I was so damn proud of him for doing that.
Dear people: Claire is definitely just some dude pretending to be a girl. The account has only ever interacted with this post. Please lose as little faith in humanity as possible. Thanks!
I taught my daughter to scream "I don't know you, leave me alone" and when travelling on public transport look for someone with government ID tags and sit and talk to them.
I'm middle aged with an epic RBF and frequently packing knitting needles. ( cuz I knit!). My poor hubby feels badly cuz hes 6'6 and sees a lot of ladies cross road rather than walk by him. He's a middle school teacher and a total gentle giant.
Early one morning, it was still dark out, hubby stopped at our local drive-through coffee stand. The barista was someone we know, she quietly asked him to stay until the guy on the other said left. Turns out the other guy was pulling up nude pics on his phone and trying to show them to her. Hubby said he'd stay anytime any of the baristas felt threatened by other customers, just to call him by another name. Last month he was introduced to a new barista, and she was told he was "that guy who would stay if needed".
My wife got followed once as she was walking home from work. It wasn't particularly late but it was in the UK in winter so it was very dark. Luckily she managed to lose him but on her way home she passed two open restaurants so I asked her why she didn't go in ether of them, tell someone there what was happening and ask for help. She said it just didn't occur to her. So (for what it's worth) my best advice is if you're being followed go to where people are and ask for help, make yourself known.
My first thought reading this is that I would be there for any woman or girl in need. Then I kept reading. And then my thought was that some people could be assholes. Then I kept reading. They I just started getting angry at the way women and girls are treated and how normalized it is. My wife and I raised our boy better than that, and I'm glad. But in general, men suck. I'm sorry to anyone who happened to be going the same way I was and thought I was following them.
Holy sh!t, I have never seen a more miserable person than Claire. We get it, you're a strong, independent woman who don't need no man, friend, mother, police officer, father, or help of any kind. You can handle ANYTHING and could fight off anyone with both hands tied behind your back while hopping on one foot. You are a miserable, unlikable little twerp. Perhaps seek therapy?
To Claire who has left a negative comment on nearly every photo in this post: clearly you have never been harassed/abused. I have. It's not fun and you don't always realise what's happening when it's happening. Sometimes your mind goes blank. Sometimes you think you're overreacting about the way they behave. Sometimes you convince yourself there's a reason they're acting the way they are. Point is that there are times that you DON'T react or fight back for whatever reason and it's those times that bad things can happen. It's those times when you wouldn't want someone to ask for permission but rather just step in, before it goes too far. These people are heroes for stepping in and do not deserve your scorn. And the victims sure as heck don't either. Go be a troll somewhere else.
Same but different - a friend's mother with Alzheimer's had wandered off in a shopping mall and was confused and scared and didn't trust anyone who was trying to help her... until a woman walked up to her, hugged her and said "Mom! I am so glad to see you" and my friend's mother hugged her back and they sat on a bench chatting until the woman was reunited with the other people in her group.
I didn't expect this page to come with a subplot. Buzz off, Claire.
Working CS at Walmart. Coming back up to the front registers I hear a little girl crying and then a man's voice. As I got closer- I could understand them.He was telling her he'd take her to her grandma. She was lost. Only, he wasn't taking her in the direction of customer service. He was taking her straight out of the store. I jumped in there so fast. He tried to talk and I told him to zip it and asked her if she knew him. Worst (best?) case she does and I have to apologize for being rude. She shakes her head. I whipped around on him and he had the nerve to grab her arm and tell her let's go. Hell no. Mine. I bent his thumb, he dropped her arm and I pulled her behind me. I'm only 5'3 so he wasn't the least intimidated but finally a few people came to see what all the fuss was so he bolted. Then I ran around trying to find her grandma bc she wasn't coming up when we called over the PA system. I left her behind the counter at CS with 4 girls guarding her. Took 2 hours.
Even though she was loudly crying, not one person was paying attention. Scared the s**t out of me.
Load More Replies...Anyone is welcome to come up to me, call me Mom, Auntie, Sister, Cousin or Friend and I will act like I am aiming for an Oscar.
I would be absolutely scared to date these days. Now men will ask you out with the expectation of a second date and/or a lead up to something further. And if you decline all of a sudden you're deemed out for a "free meal" and may even be called a "gold digger". What do you think on this, ladies?
In many cases yes, men can be very difficult. But there are good men around. I personally would only date colleagues or friends that i trust. I cant be with somebody from tinder. But to each their own i guess
Load More Replies...In the days I grew up it was common for people to turn a blind eye or pervs to be sly. Young girls w low self esteem are targets for attention to prove to themselves they are worthy. You get a shy girl with glasses, or slightly over weight, or clumsy an not flashy like other girls and give them attention they think they are special. Watch out for them too. We aren't given much attention and want it. I was there. Teach them to know the signs so they know when to be wary of these men. I'm a kind person and will hold doors for strangers, let people turn in traffic, but I will watch for the vultures in society, being their target once.
Also, if you can, take some self defense classes. There is an aspect of "muscle memory" to it, so you're not just going to spontaneously remember much from that class if you don't at least keep practicing the techniques on a friend or relative at home (or even an imaginary person). So while something is better than nothing, you really can't do just one workshop and call it good. You're more likely to do what comes naturally to you in an emergency, so make what comes naturally be dangerous to the attacker. But even if you don't know anything, hit, scream, bite, shove your thumbs as deep into those eye sockets as you can. I figure if I have to be scarred by an attack, then they can be scarred too. Also, it's not just moms that will help you. I don't have kids and would still be happy to help. Honestly would probably also turn at the yelling "mom" thing too just thinking someone lost their mom and needs help finding her lol
i'm an old fart now but when i was younger i was stupid to give hitchhikers a lift as i lived in the northwest on an island w/no busses, taxis, etc. no problems until the last time when the guy pulled a knife on me and told me to drive past town. i panicked & then thought if i'm going out i was taking him with me & barreled through town, red lights, weaving back & forth to throw him into the passenger door all the way up to the police station. we both ran out of the car w/him going away & me into the station. never again picked up someone which is sad because one bad person made me suspicious of everyone.
A tip given to me by a couple of medic friends, who got it from a cop friend, is to invest in the biggest Maglite (or similar) you can afford - preferably a 4D cell - and keep it in the door pocket of your car. Anyone tries any funny business, you wallop them with it.
Ok so this reminds me of when I used to host people on Couchsurfing (before capitalist greed ruined it). I had on my profile that I was gay. It was within the first paragraph talking about myself. I got so many women asking me to host them because of that, but would you believe not a single male I hosted knew I was gay? Women would read every detail of a potential host's profile while men would just see a free place to stay. Several of the women I hosted openly said to me that they requested to stay with me because they saw I was gay because they've had questionable experiences with male hosts and some even knew others who had horror stories. It makes me sad really that women need to be so vigilant while men literally don't think twice about staying with a complete stranger.
As a good dude who is 6'3 and pretty tough I wish there was a way of people knowing I'm cool and will look out for anyone who needs it, I'm covered in tattoos and look like an aggressive guy I guess but I am there for anyone who needs it, and if any guy is harassing a girl, woman or anyone else, I will chin that guy.
Could you not have just read the top 20 then?
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