Picking a career isn’t easy, so it’s a bit strange that we basically take a bunch of teens and tell them to make life-altering decisions before they have really even started to live. It shouldn’t surprise anyone that many people reach middle age and realize that they perhaps aren’t where they want to be.
So, perhaps to learn from other’s mistakes, one netizen asked women to share their biggest career regrets and what led to it. From bad educational choices to feeling stuck in a role, people poured their hearts out. So be sure to upvote the most interesting stories as you scroll through and share your thoughts in the comments section.
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I regret that we need “careers”. I have two degrees in Art History but ended up a project manager because it pays better than anything in that field does, at least when starting out. Honestly if one could actually live in the US on minimum wage and didn’t have to worry about health insurance I would go back to working in a bookstore and spend the rest of my days stocking shelves and talking to people about books.
I'm a pediatrician. I love kids, I love building relationships with families and I love learning. The science of medicine never gets boring - it's always changing, it's interesting, there's tons of variety.
But knowing what I know now, I wouldn't do it. Simply, it's really f*****g hard being a doctor. And sure, that seems obvious on its head. But there are so many lies about becoming a doctor that are sold to med students. In my experience, one of them was that the painful, isolating, and exhausting sacrifice of training will yield a better life.
I don't think that's true. Yes, medical school and residency were peak miserable times of my life, but after training, my work life hasn't exactly been that much easier than training. Even my dream job on paper was incredibly hard - I worked 10-12 hrs a day, was on call all the time, had hours of charting to do every night, and was underpaid in lieu of how much cash flow I brought into my practice. I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting a soft work life, or at the very least, a work life where the stakes aren't so high all the time and the work does in fact end.
I hated my career so much that I switched careers. Don’t be a teacher in the US. It’s a bad choice.
Honestly? I regret becoming a teacher. Its all I know how to do, and changing now seems too much trouble (getting another degree, starting again in the workforce, doing networking, etc). The biggest problem isnt even the kids or classes; its the parents. Millenials and Gen X are trying to not be the strict parents we had growing up and are now swinging in the opposite. The parents are insufferable and we have zero to negative support from them. Its a lot of stress daily, and ive started taking anxiety meds because of this. I dream of getting a factory job lmao
I regret staying home to raise kids. I need work to occupy my brain. I feel like I have gotten dumber because I stayed home.
I hate my career but it is perfect for my kids (hours, autonomy, flexibility)
I wish I had crosstrained into something I could change to now and be my own boss or WFH more.
I’m tired of what I’m doing. Soul deep tired.
All I want to do is work with animals. Those jobs don't pay well, though, and I don't have a safety net if I fail financially. So, I work in operations. Do I wish things could be different? 100% absolutely. But, that's life.
Same here. I foster cars and dogs, but I'd love to work with animals to, and be able to earn a living surrounded by animals.
Yes. I’m currently working a low pay job for amazing benefits because my husband agreed to take more on money wise. He left me Monday. So now I’m wondering if I can stay in the low pay job and get medical benefits or go get a good job. I regret putting myself in this position. Should have stayed at the higher paying jobs.
Before no-fault divorce, OP's husband would be legally required to maintain her standard of living.
I’m was recently (late) diagnosed with Autism and ADHD. Had I know this all along I would have made completely different career decisions. I cannot stop wondering (yet also can’t really fathom) how different (better? easier? more fulfilling?) my life could have been.
I went into business for myself and became a boss, and I hated every minute of it. Never again will I be a boss or own a business especially in this economy.
Letting a sense of duty or loyalty determine whether I stay at a job instead of my own well-being. There are jobs that I knew right away were negatively impacting my mental health and I stayed years hoping it would get better or being worried about leaving my coworkers in the lurch. Companies can and have (and will) survive without me. It’s not my fault if they routinely understaff. And my intuition is usually right. If there are red flags I see in the first few weeks, those are unlikely to significantly change. In the future, I will set a timeline and the types of changes I need to see by then if I’m going to choose to stay. If I don’t see them, I’ll have a plan for next steps to (hopefully) move on to another job/company.
Indeed. many a job will let you know you are dispensable. So also know it doesn't matter if you can resign with instant effect if you have to, or can. When they fire you it's with instant effect, so you know everyone can roll along afterwards. (You can also threaten to do that as a weapon, on the flipside. Depends on the office.)
I wish I had the self-awareness to choose a career that was less overstimulating than teaching. I like a lot of things about the career, but I’m exhausted constantly and it really influences my perspective on life.
The exhaustion. That's it. Not even the not so great pay. It's the exhaustion
Yes- i am absolutely not a people person- I work nightshift in a retirement home.
Wish I had taken up data entry or some such job that limited my interactions with humans.
2997 days until I retire.
Yikes. The elderly need empathy and compassion. You gotta change careers for your sake and theirs.
I was an engineering major, switched to a career in medicine.
Some days/weeks/months I think I should have just stayed out of medicine. I’m burned to a crisp.
I went to law school. I 100 percent wish that I did not go to law school. It was a waste of three years and a lot of money.
I should’ve stayed away from my business degree and done something that I wanted in the hair or makeup industry. I have a bachelors and masters degree. Sometimes I wish I could start all over again but I don’t have money to pay for school
You still could, and having the business degree would actually benefit you. If you know how to set up a business, and you have the talent, then you are the product you have to market. Start putting out feelers for how to get your foot in the door of that industry.
My career is mostly regrets, lol. I regret going to law school. I regret doing corporate law. I regret even doing more public interest oriented law. The only thing I don't regret is eventually striking out on my own.
I think if I had the chance to go back in time, I'd have done something in org psych instead - probably some kind of strategic consulting. Basically everywhere I know who went into that line of work confirmed that it is not easy, and can get stressful, but is ultimately dynamic and *fun*. I would have much preferred that type of career (back when I was younger and had the energy) than something as staid and uptight as the ~practice of law~.
Yes. I'm a teacher, and I'm not happy. I wish I didn't rush graduating when I realized that I wanted to major in computer science. I was already in my third year of college, and I didn't want to spend 3-4 other years at college. I just wanted to graduate on time. Now I look back and regret.
I plan on switching my career. I'm still researching some IT roles.
I wish I didn’t get my first job out of grad school which was abusive af, psychopath management, etc. the job ruined my health in ways that I’ll deal with for the rest of my life. I was caught up in competing with peers from school and felt like I needed to stick with this job because it was the only thing I got after graduation. I should’ve had higher standards for myself for how I want to be treated but also be gentler with how feeling like I need to meet certain benchmarks to be “successful”!
"I should’ve had higher standards for myself for how I want to be treated but also be gentler with how feeling like I need to meet certain benchmarks to be “successful”.... I find these to be very wise words and a great thing to teach the younger generation who is starting off in the work force. As a previous post stated, an incredibly soul crushing job can absolutely have ripple effects throughout life.
I loved my career, but I do regret it. I’m a chef- but it took so much physically, emotionally, and I missed so much. The pay and benefits were never great.
Yes. I wish I’d followed my heart and gone to school for something I actually love, instead of what would give me the potential for a lucrative career. I’m in a pretty well paying job now but I don’t like going to work, and that sucks.
I regret thinking that I had to obtain a graphic design job after college (my associate degree was in commercial art)…I heard so much from my parents and teachers about how fine art would turn me into a starving artist. But I didn’t start actually making money until I got back into making art in my 30s. The graphic design jobs don’t really pay much and they’re so much more uninteresting to me.
I made a career in graphic design without having a diploma for it, I actually went for foreign languages and then a master in advertising. But always wanted to draw and paint, just wasted years comparing myself to well-known illustrators and concept artists out there, while always saying I'm too old and using that as an excuse to not practice diligently the few daily hours I could after the 9-to-5, not to mention the stretches of time when I didn't have a stable job. So basically wasted 13+ years bemoaning I was too old, and now being even older, lol. However such a long period also helped me understand my needs better, and competition and fast pace environments such as concept art and design aren't for me. Now I know I only want to draw things I like, not having clients and commissions, so trying to improve my art so maybe one day I'll be able to earn a living painting only what I want. If not I'm ok just getting better for the sake of it, while keeping my current job - designing small advertising ads for printed media, wfh. The decade plus I spent comparing myself with others and only sporadically drawing because I was so depressed was the worst for me, not even something you love is worth losing your mental health over. Especially not for the wrong reasons such as fame, money and peer appreciation.
Yes, I fell into my career (Recruiting) and completely regret it. There are days I don’t mind it and actually like it, but for the most part I hate it. It’s a very unstable career - when the times are good, it’s great, but when the job market tanks, it gets really bad. I should have done something more creative, technical, or mentally stimulating.
Thinking of switching careers now, but I don’t know what.
Not a regret really just I wish that I started working in disability support earlier and found behaviour intervention as a career earlier. I’m 42 and have had a wonderful career so far and been able to meet some of the best humans it’s possible to meet and hopefully helped to make change in their environments and situations for the better.
You are an unsung hero/heroine. The world is a better place because of people like you. Thank you for all you have done!
I would go back and tell my 19 year old self to grow a backbone and tell the bosses of my first few ‘real’ jobs to suck a fat one.
I was scared about making waves, didn’t advocate for myself and was terrified to ask questions. The ’Directors’ were big scary powerful guys in suits with money and connections, and they made sure you knew that. Looking back, a lot of things that happened were due to p**s poor management, bullying, harassment, discrimination and manipulation. There were a number of things I could have done to be higher performing in those roles, but as an entry level employee with no guidance, I had no frame of reference. I know now that those Directors are just average guys with average intelligence and average skill sets with connections to local business networks who were making it up as they went along, but at the time it didn’t feel like it.
No point knocking your pipe out for all the fruits to go down a black hole.
I wanted to be a doctor when I was in high school, but 17yo me wasn't fond of the path to get there. Mainly, I didn't want to be "stuck" on a 10+ year track, with no way to get off of it without saddling myself with huge amounts of debt.
Do I regret it? Not really. But I did look at becoming a doctor again a few years ago, and wish I had looked back into it a *little* bit earlier, maybe in my late 20s.
I'm in my mid 30s now, and I feel like the door has closed for me. I know I could still do it at any time, as I don't doubt my ability to excel in academic environments, but everything else around it, like opportunity cost, the intensity of residency, the inability to choose where I want to end up for both school and residency - all those things don't sound appealing anymore when I want stability, community and to put down roots. I also know that the grass *can* be greener on the other side, especially in health care in the US, where providers are facing burnout like no other.
If I was to win the lottery tomorrow, I'd likely give it a shot and only apply to schools in areas I'd want to live in, but without the lottery money, it's not worth it since I already make a tech salary that is as high as some doctors.
The cons of being a junior doctor,.moving regularly whether you want to or not, super competition, exams when you should be past it, all mean I wish I had chosen something different, although as a consultant (UK) work life balance is a bit better, the 20years of training probably wasn't worth it
Wish I hadn’t gotten my masters in education and been a classroom teacher. I should have done something totally different. I have learned some valuable lessons from that and was able to travel the world as a teacher though so that was cool
I understand 100%... Can relate to all the teaching posts and a fair few of the others.
I hate my career. HATE it. And there’s a million things I wish I would have done instead, but realistically I don’t think I would have been capable of it at 18. For the most part, I think I made the best choices I could have made given who I was and what I was like back then, so I’ve mostly come to terms with my career field at this point. My biggest regret is staying in a toxic job as long as I did
I hated my first career in certain ways. I worked for political advocacy non-profits. The work was often relatively fulfilling but not always. The pay was not great. And the number of insane colleagues and bullies was off-the-charts.
If I had a do-over I may have chosen different majors and tried to go straight from school to UX Research or something that would have been just starting to take off at the time I graduated. However, hindsight is 20/20.
Instead now I’ve made the switch to a relatively well-paying public service role. The change was five years in the making and isn’t perfect, but my savings is already looking a lot healthier and the peace of mind is worth it, imo.
Can I ask the point of a non-profit organisation? If you're only ever able to break even, where's the security? Why not turn a profit? That sounds better than nationalisation, where you either have government underwrite your debts or you go bust.
I regret not continuing to only work with big, stable, recognizable firms. I took a chance on a company that was undergoing rebranding and repositioning thinking it'd be really fun and exciting. It wasn't. It failed, and I ended up being associated with a failed company instead of a successful one.
Btw... it failed for reasons unrelated to the re-brand, in case that wasn't clear. Lol turns out they had no money to actually execute the re-brand so... we spent a bunch of money on a logo, effectively.
For the teachers out there (I am one): don't focus on your content area. Focus on your education degree. There are so many careers for people who know how to plan, create, and teach that aren't tied to public schooling!
ouch ... teaching and health-care are overly present in the list. That's sad. Those are important jobs. If many regret that, we do them wrong.
I think it makes a huge difference that those come from the us market. I bet teaching in Scandinavian countries for example looks completely different and is likely much more rewarding
Load More Replies...I'm retired. I had a very rewarding career in healthcare. Now I work part time at a small family owned market. I don't think I could be any happier.
If anyone here is currently a teacher and regretting it and feeling like it's the only thing you know how to do, can I suggest you look into technical writing. It's a great career for ex teachers and uses a lot of the same skills (I am a tech author, I did teacher training, I'm very happy with the path I took and I earn good money).
Great idea! Teachers could also get a Master's of Library Science and be a librarian. Wish I had done that when it was easier to get into grad school.
Load More Replies...Being a social worker sucks, and the pay is subpar. And most people assume the job involves removing children from unsafe living conditions. It’s so much more broad than that, like being a SW/mental health counselor, which equally sucks. Both roles come with the added pressure of helping with poor living conditions, finances, end of life, infidelity, depression, anxiety, suicide, etc. It’s mentally draining to instill hope in hopeless situations. And when the circumstances remain unchanged, the blame falls on the social worker/counselor for not doing enough. This is despite people disregarding recommendations and expecting change without their participation.
Honestly, outside of the teachers (who have to deal with today's parents and school boards), most of these post are just pathetic whiners.
I'm halfway through my student teaching. The most stressful part is trying to teach the kids that want to succeed in a classroom with several kids that don't care. Also, it helps that I am older. I do think that teachers should have a special class on dealing with their mental health and burnout.
For me it was being younger and having my heart set on becoming a vet, for years it was all I wanted to do. I looked into what grades I needed, what experiences, what university I wanted to go to ..... everything, to be told at 14 by a careers advisor that it was unrealistic and I should have a back up, because I would never become one, I was devastated and ended up leaving school with no grades, and absolutely no idea what I wanted to do. Looking back I realise I was doing really well, my grades were fine and I shouldn't of listened but because she was an adult and I was conditioned to believe adults were always right, I listened and believed her.
It's the same for everybody everywhere, female or male, the grass is always greener over the septic tank.
I fully understand why there are so many teachers on the list. I worked as an aid for 6 years. Most of the kids were awesome, but the handful of terrors was so draining. There were also the good kids who were just struggling and getting no home support. There's only so much help they can get in a classroom with 30 kids. And those terror children? Their parents are 100% the problem. No consequences at home, so trouble at school means nothing, and have the time the parent would say were were lying or just wrong because their sweet little angel wouldn't do that! Guess what, all kids lie! Even the sweetest, smartest, most easy going kids are going to lie at some point. We aren't out to get your kid. Sadly, it wasn't even the kids that got me to quit, but new admin came in and made it hell.
When I was in grade school in the '50s, we had 60-65 kids in a class. Yep, you guessed it - Catholic school! The sisters didn't have to discipline us, because our parents did that.
Load More Replies...Some of these people that are boo-hooing about the choice they made in their current careers and saying it's too late for a better one. Quit feeling sorry for yourself. If you REALLY wanted a different career, you can get one because there are a LOT out there.
Quick question to anyone who went into cosmetology or psychology what is something you wish you had know? ( I'm thinking about being a cosmetologist or a criminal psychologist)
Although it's a popular area of interest, there are few jobs compared to the number of folks interested in forensic psychology ("criminal psychologist" isn't a common job title) - this required a master's degree, if not a doctorate. It would be exceedingly rare you'd work on high-profile "serial killer" cases (if that's your interest), the most jobs I've seen in the field are for psychologists with relatively little control or autonomy providing crisis work and behavioral interventions to folks incarcerated in federal prisons.
Load More Replies...Two weeks after I took a job in the far reaches of Kansas, one of the owner's friends heard me on the air and offered me a gig in Dallas-Fort Worth. I thought that would be a crappy thing to do to the guy who hired me. I sometimes wonder what would have happened if i had put myself first then.
My parents dissuaded me from becoming an archaeologist because that didn't pay well (mid-80's). I then studied English Historical Linguistics and re-trained as an executive secretary. That paid very well, I enjoyed it because it's so diverse and after I took early retirement I joined the local archaeological society of which I am now the secretary. So I more or less circled back. It's never too late to switch to doing what you really like!
Not so much a career regret, but I do regret not putting more effort into my creative hobbies. I'm trying to be a better writer and I can confidently say I've gotten better at it in a relatively short time. If I'd done this in my teens, I would've published a few books by now I think. I'm not saying those books would then also be popular or that I'd be the next Robin Hobb or anything, but still.
So many people in jobs they dislike. So change your job type every 10-15 years. Find something that you can leverage past experience. E.g teaching - company training officer - training and teaching aids development - making training videos.
I was doing a physics degree, but dropped out. I've had a good career in market research data processing, but the 80s and 90s would have been a heck of a time to be an astrophysicist. A DP colleague of mine went back to her roots and went to work for SETI - I'm very jealous of her. I hope you find them, Katy!
Regarding the ones complaining about their chosen career. Did anyone bother doing some investigation and research beforehand or did they just throw a dart at a career and say, "Yep that one's for me."
Sometimes, our parents chose for us, and we had no/little choice. Also, times have changed and women have a lot more career choices than those of us who are older.
Load More Replies...I like my part time job and I would like doing it full time but the pay is really bad right now and if I would do it full time or advance/ do an apprenticeship (in my country that means learning a trade and being paid for it, including all standard benefits - paid vacation unlimited sick leave etc), then I would have to work on weekends and holidays, in the evening and maybe nights…. I have small kids. I want to see them grow up.
For the teachers out there (I am one): don't focus on your content area. Focus on your education degree. There are so many careers for people who know how to plan, create, and teach that aren't tied to public schooling!
ouch ... teaching and health-care are overly present in the list. That's sad. Those are important jobs. If many regret that, we do them wrong.
I think it makes a huge difference that those come from the us market. I bet teaching in Scandinavian countries for example looks completely different and is likely much more rewarding
Load More Replies...I'm retired. I had a very rewarding career in healthcare. Now I work part time at a small family owned market. I don't think I could be any happier.
If anyone here is currently a teacher and regretting it and feeling like it's the only thing you know how to do, can I suggest you look into technical writing. It's a great career for ex teachers and uses a lot of the same skills (I am a tech author, I did teacher training, I'm very happy with the path I took and I earn good money).
Great idea! Teachers could also get a Master's of Library Science and be a librarian. Wish I had done that when it was easier to get into grad school.
Load More Replies...Being a social worker sucks, and the pay is subpar. And most people assume the job involves removing children from unsafe living conditions. It’s so much more broad than that, like being a SW/mental health counselor, which equally sucks. Both roles come with the added pressure of helping with poor living conditions, finances, end of life, infidelity, depression, anxiety, suicide, etc. It’s mentally draining to instill hope in hopeless situations. And when the circumstances remain unchanged, the blame falls on the social worker/counselor for not doing enough. This is despite people disregarding recommendations and expecting change without their participation.
Honestly, outside of the teachers (who have to deal with today's parents and school boards), most of these post are just pathetic whiners.
I'm halfway through my student teaching. The most stressful part is trying to teach the kids that want to succeed in a classroom with several kids that don't care. Also, it helps that I am older. I do think that teachers should have a special class on dealing with their mental health and burnout.
For me it was being younger and having my heart set on becoming a vet, for years it was all I wanted to do. I looked into what grades I needed, what experiences, what university I wanted to go to ..... everything, to be told at 14 by a careers advisor that it was unrealistic and I should have a back up, because I would never become one, I was devastated and ended up leaving school with no grades, and absolutely no idea what I wanted to do. Looking back I realise I was doing really well, my grades were fine and I shouldn't of listened but because she was an adult and I was conditioned to believe adults were always right, I listened and believed her.
It's the same for everybody everywhere, female or male, the grass is always greener over the septic tank.
I fully understand why there are so many teachers on the list. I worked as an aid for 6 years. Most of the kids were awesome, but the handful of terrors was so draining. There were also the good kids who were just struggling and getting no home support. There's only so much help they can get in a classroom with 30 kids. And those terror children? Their parents are 100% the problem. No consequences at home, so trouble at school means nothing, and have the time the parent would say were were lying or just wrong because their sweet little angel wouldn't do that! Guess what, all kids lie! Even the sweetest, smartest, most easy going kids are going to lie at some point. We aren't out to get your kid. Sadly, it wasn't even the kids that got me to quit, but new admin came in and made it hell.
When I was in grade school in the '50s, we had 60-65 kids in a class. Yep, you guessed it - Catholic school! The sisters didn't have to discipline us, because our parents did that.
Load More Replies...Some of these people that are boo-hooing about the choice they made in their current careers and saying it's too late for a better one. Quit feeling sorry for yourself. If you REALLY wanted a different career, you can get one because there are a LOT out there.
Quick question to anyone who went into cosmetology or psychology what is something you wish you had know? ( I'm thinking about being a cosmetologist or a criminal psychologist)
Although it's a popular area of interest, there are few jobs compared to the number of folks interested in forensic psychology ("criminal psychologist" isn't a common job title) - this required a master's degree, if not a doctorate. It would be exceedingly rare you'd work on high-profile "serial killer" cases (if that's your interest), the most jobs I've seen in the field are for psychologists with relatively little control or autonomy providing crisis work and behavioral interventions to folks incarcerated in federal prisons.
Load More Replies...Two weeks after I took a job in the far reaches of Kansas, one of the owner's friends heard me on the air and offered me a gig in Dallas-Fort Worth. I thought that would be a crappy thing to do to the guy who hired me. I sometimes wonder what would have happened if i had put myself first then.
My parents dissuaded me from becoming an archaeologist because that didn't pay well (mid-80's). I then studied English Historical Linguistics and re-trained as an executive secretary. That paid very well, I enjoyed it because it's so diverse and after I took early retirement I joined the local archaeological society of which I am now the secretary. So I more or less circled back. It's never too late to switch to doing what you really like!
Not so much a career regret, but I do regret not putting more effort into my creative hobbies. I'm trying to be a better writer and I can confidently say I've gotten better at it in a relatively short time. If I'd done this in my teens, I would've published a few books by now I think. I'm not saying those books would then also be popular or that I'd be the next Robin Hobb or anything, but still.
So many people in jobs they dislike. So change your job type every 10-15 years. Find something that you can leverage past experience. E.g teaching - company training officer - training and teaching aids development - making training videos.
I was doing a physics degree, but dropped out. I've had a good career in market research data processing, but the 80s and 90s would have been a heck of a time to be an astrophysicist. A DP colleague of mine went back to her roots and went to work for SETI - I'm very jealous of her. I hope you find them, Katy!
Regarding the ones complaining about their chosen career. Did anyone bother doing some investigation and research beforehand or did they just throw a dart at a career and say, "Yep that one's for me."
Sometimes, our parents chose for us, and we had no/little choice. Also, times have changed and women have a lot more career choices than those of us who are older.
Load More Replies...I like my part time job and I would like doing it full time but the pay is really bad right now and if I would do it full time or advance/ do an apprenticeship (in my country that means learning a trade and being paid for it, including all standard benefits - paid vacation unlimited sick leave etc), then I would have to work on weekends and holidays, in the evening and maybe nights…. I have small kids. I want to see them grow up.