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35 Men Finally Get Answers To Their Most Burning Questions About Women That They Never Dared To Ask
Interview
There are so many things about the world that we’d love to learn. However, some topics are extremely sensitive. So people might feel extremely self-conscious or embarrassed to ask questions about them because they’ll show their ignorance, even if they’re curious. When folks are anonymous, however, they can feel a lot more comfortable doing this.
Redditor u/SlenderBacon449 started up an enlightening thread on r/AskReddit where they urged men to ask women all the things they’ve always wanted to but couldn’t. The women of Reddit, in turn, answered all of their questions. Scroll down to read what these redditors had to share. Their comments are informative. They’re educational. And you might learn something new even if you think you know everything there is to know.
Bored Panda wanted to learn why there are so many people who are ignorant about human biology and sex, so we reached out to Laurie Mintz, Ph.D., sexpert for LELO and the author of Becoming Cliterate. She was kind enough to answer our questions about why these knowledge gaps exist and shed some light on how grownups can get past feeling embarrassed when asking sensitive questions. Read on for our interview with her. Meanwhile, we also got in touch with the author of the thread, redditor u/SlenderBacon449.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
QUESTION: What are some things that contribute to a dead bedroom in a long term relationship and what might men do to resolve those issues? (Turn you on, make it more enjoyable for you, etc)
I just want everyone to feel sexually desired again.
ANSWER 1: A BIG problem for women is having to take care of the man, house, and responsibilities. If a woman has to nag or mother you, that's a turn off. If she has to pick up after you, do all the cooking, cleaning and grocery shopping, remind you of plans, remind you of appointments, ask you to do things without you knowing you should do them, or beg you to makes plans for once instead of saying "I don't care, what do you want to do?" you are heading for dead bedroom. If you treat her like a roommate or employee instead of someone you love, respect and appreciate, dead bedroom. If the only time you show her affection is when you are horny, she will resent you and dead bedroom.
- ZanzibarLove
ANSWER 2: Don’t ask her to make you a list of what she wants done to show you’ll “help” around the house. You are a grown-ass man living in a home. Assuming she’s got her hands full with a job or kids and isn’t sitting around waiting for nail polish to dry, open your eyes or do some research into what it takes to make a household run and just start carrying your own weight. If you’re a partner, you’re more than a helper.
- thayaht
BakedKahuna 2 years ago
Fully agree on the part that it's a turn off, if affection is only shown when horny.
CammyCat 2 years ago
Agreed! My ex husband only was willing to help with anything if he thought he could get lucky. Otherwise absolutely nothing
Load More Replies... Susie Elle 2 years ago (edited)
A little louder for the people in the back! Also if you only show me affection when horny you can just f**k right off
CammyCat 2 years ago
Recently read an article with the title "1 small thing I did that changed my relationship for the better" spoiler alert: he realized something needed to b done and just DID IT! Didn't have to b asked or hounded. When he realized what a big deal that was to her, he kept doing it and his relationship improved greatly
Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
Spot on. If you expect me to take on the role of your mother, it's an instant and permanent turnoff.
Nicole Lebel 2 years ago (edited)
If I have to tell you what to do to take care of your own home then I'm not your partner, I'm your mother. You are a grown man with a handy computer in your hand that has access to unlimited advice. USE IT, google how to clean something, ANYTHING, and get to it. Take a few chores off my shoulders. Take a few errands off my plate. Date night? Does that even exist anymore? Make a plan, make a date, handle all the arrangements and actually think about what your woman likes or dislikes. She love sweets? Take her to a candy store. She love meats? Rib night it is. She likes romance? Go for a nice walk on the beach knowing you have a lovely dinner and blanket packed in the trunk of the car for afterwards. This really isn't that hard.
Julie Snelling 2 years ago
What makes me laugh with this answer which I 100% agree with. Is that I bet the man who asked it was expecting more of dirty answer than what he got!
Alex S 2 years ago
He wanted a pornographic level explanation on how to find the g-spot and he got told to wash dishes, ha ha
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We asked Dr. Mintz about why so many men seem to have knowledge gaps about sex and biology. She noted that the United States has a very poor sexual education system "where neither women nor men learn about women’s genital anatomy."
"Indeed, our sex education system often covers only women’s internal, reproductive anatomy and ignores sexual pleasure and response, especially among women. On top of this, movies and porn often perpetuate falsehoods about women’s pleasure, with women orgasming from intercourse alone commonly being shown," she explained to Bored Panda.
"The truth is that only a small percentage of women most reliably orgasm from penetration (4–18% depending on the study), and the rest need clitoral stimulation, either alone or coupled with penetration. However, without proper education or a woman telling a man this, there is very little chance he’d learn this on his own."
RELATED:
#2
QUESTION: Basicaly all info about how their bodies work because f**k serious sex ed. ANSWER: There are three holes. I mean, urethra, vagina and anus. Urethra is between the clit and the vaginal opening, it's very small and it's where the pee comes from. Vaginal opening is where dicks, sex toys and tampons go in, and also where period blood, discharge and babies come out from. Anus is... well, for pooping. Very similar to male anus but inserting something inside is usually less pleasurable for girls than for men who put things inside their butts - it's because we don't have prostate. Menstrual cycle last about 28 days. It can be a bit shorter or longer, it's something individual, but yeah, about a month. Menstrual cycle is not the same as period. It's divided to phases. Period is just one of the phases and the first day of period is the first day of menstrual cycle. Period usually lasts 3-7 days, depends on girl. Then the other phase starts etc. I won't explain it more because as a non native speaker I simply lack proper vocabilary. Some girls have painful period cramps. Some don't. Some don't really struggle with period and don't mind going to work or even do sports while on their period. Some girls become really sleepy and are unable to do anything else than lying in bed and crying from pain. You should never say anything like "You're exaggerating, my ex/friend/mom can do X on her period, don't be a crybaby". Girls don't get wet only while horny. Our vaginas go more or less wet depending on the menstrual cycle phase. Also the texture of discharge changes during the cycle. Clit is a little bump on the "front" of vulva, where the labia minora (inner lips) meeet. It can be hidden by a clitoral hood (something similar to a foreskin). Some girls have shorter hoods, so the clit is always visible. Some have longer hoods to the clit is hidden. Some girls have small inner labia and some girls have big "butterfly wings" that can make it less obvious to understand where the clit is in that particular girl. We all look different down there and if you can't find the clit, because your current partners vulva looks a lot different than your previous partners vulva, just ask the girl for her. You can put her hand on your hand and just ask "show me where" or "show me how you like it". It's okay. Vaginas shouldn't smell like fish. If they do - it's a sign of infection. Don't believe the "smells fishy" jokes and avoid making them. STDs are not always visible. Vulva can look perfectly fine but there can still be an infection going on. Asking your partner about their latest results is fine. Using an oral tissue (?) for oral sex (eating her out) is fine too! You can get STD from oral sex, so stay safe. You can make the tissue yourself from a condom. Cut off the top part (where the "sperm container"????? is), then cut down the length so you get a latex rectangle. Put it over her vulva and you can lick safely. Having a period means that our body released an egg to fertilise but it didn't get fertilised so body is getting rid of it. Uterus was all like "Yeaaa we gonna be a mom!!!", so she made her walls soft and prepared for growing a baby but it didn't happen. Period is getting rid of the egg and also the special lining from uterus walls. It takes some time. We can't hold in the period or just "pee it out" on one sitting. idk what else to add - -acidlean-
BannedFromABoatShow 2 years ago
That was a better, more accurate summary than 2 years of health class. Nicely done!
R Dennis 2 years ago
Yeah. I learned most of this stuff from my wife. Sex ed, they separated the boys and the girls and barely told us how our own bodies work.
Load More Replies... Queen penguin 2 years ago
The fact that I, a teenage girl, learned something in this shows how bad sex ed in America is.
Ivo H 2 years ago
Don’t worry, it’s not only US. Here in Czechia we have pretty decent education, but the whole elementary school we were told to wait with sex ed to high school, and once we were there, we were told we had it in elementary school. That was it. But at least I learned at least 7 times about one word our famous writer invented and became international. Nice thing to know for sure, but seems a bit less important than knowing our own f*****g body functions.
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jolie laide 2 years ago
Also just to add, vaginas are self cleaning. Unless there's an infection that requires special medication, PLEASE don't buy into the hype of "cleaning products". Like cucumbers or crystals or whatever the hell else people are peddling these days. Same goes with douching. There's a time and a place for douches (if they're needed), but not only is the vagina self cleaning, it has its own ecosystem. Douching can seriously mess that up and create problems. Don't let anyone tell you that you need to do anything "special" or "specific" for vaginal hygiene. Basic hygiene (bathing/showering), peeing (or trying to) after intercourse, making sure anything inserted is clean before hand, and letting some air get to your crotch - that's about all you need.
Kitty 🥀 2 years ago
But it’s useful to mention— ladies, we all SHOULD be carefully cleaning the vulva, even though the vagina doesn’t need it. Use a mild soap, preferably fragrance-free. And be gentle, as the skin is very fragile. But this is important to prevent bad bacteria from growing in the folds.
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Mrs. EW 2 years ago
I’ll add, about halfway through our cycle we ovulate. That’s when the egg is traveling through the fallopian tube to the uterus. Some women notice this happening and some don’t. Or one month you can notice it and another you don’t. It could feel slightly painful or uncomfortable or like nothing at all.
Sky Render 2 years ago
If you have PCOS, believe me, you NOTICE. The only mercy of ovulation over periods at that point is that it tends to last maybe an hour or two, as opposed to running a whole week.
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Kate Jones 2 years ago (edited)
It's a little extra but I'd also recommend looking up the types of exams women have to have and what's involved so you understand why women's health and clinics are so important (All these people railing against planned parenthood--they do more than abortions. They help a lot of women with standard health issues and to PLAN pregnancy, not just end them. They also offer a lot of education and help to choose NOT to have abortions). And maybe you'll also understand the costs we're saddled with that are higher. I'd also look up fetal development on google. You'll find tons of images and it can help people to understand a little more and have a better idea of why women should be allowed to make decisions about their bodies with their doctor and not a political party. When you see it in a more logical way than in this magical and romantic way, it helps you be more rational about these issues. I'm not saying that you'll suddenly agree with abortion. But at least you have a better understanding of what happens and what you're fighting for.
Julie Snelling 2 years ago
I was going to say I had never heard of an oral tissue but now you have said dental dam I know what they mean.
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Alicia M 2 years ago
Also, period symptoms can be different from month to month in the same woman. About a week before my period is due to start, I begin suffering PMS symptoms. Bloating, cramping, sore, heavy feeling breasts, increased food cravings. It doesn't happen every month. Sometimes I get by pretty easily, other months are awful. Cramps can be so bad they feel like labor pains, and I'm so physically exhausted it's hard to get out of bed. Just because a woman has a bad period one month does not mean every month will be exactly the same.
jolie laide 2 years ago
Oh god yes, this. Oddly enough, I never get PMS and I have no idea why. Once the period starts though, it's like a roulette wheel of systems. Headaches, leg aches, lower back aches, upset stomach, and messed up bowels are my "wild cards". Cramping, bloating and fatigue are every single month with either 1 or multiple "wild cards" added on top. The pain levels can change too, of the cramps, etc. I have endometriosis too which just ramps everything up even worse.
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Catastrophisticate 2 years ago
I would also add: the hymen (the barrier that breaks when you lose your virginity) is a piece of skin. Like any other skin, it has pores. Basically, if semen is anywhere near your vagina during or after non-penetrative sex, you can still get pregnant, even if your hymen is intact. (Source: personal experience)
Kitty 🥀 2 years ago (edited)
And that the hymen can “break” at any point in a girl’s life— from gymnastics, riding a bike, playing sports, or having sex for the first time. And most of the time a girl’s hymen isn’t even a real “barrier.” The skin tissue can come in different shapes and sizes. Edit: A lot of hymens are just thin tissue around the edges of the vaginal opening, so they never really “break” in the first place.
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Anxious&Bored Bear 2 years ago
Fantastic job! Much more detailed than what schools are allowed to teach. All pandas should repost somewhere!
#3
QUESTION: What to do when a period stain is showing and you seem oblivious to it?
ANSWER 1: Please tell her. I walked around all DAY in front of 10 guys because I was the only woman and they were all too afraid to tell me.
- uncreative-af
ANSWER 2: Honestly if I was in this situation, I would be so incredibly and pleasantly surprised if a guy not only came to tell me, but came with a solution. Like a hoodie to tie around my waist or a way provide me with some cover to lessen the embarrassment. I would remember that person gratefully forever, no joke.
- rebirth542
manon M 2 years ago
Totalement d'accord. Je pense que les hommes ayant grandit avec des femmes seront plus à le faire que les autres.
and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 2 years ago
Rough translation: Totally agree. I also think men that have grown up with women will be more likely to do so than others
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Deborah B 2 years ago
If you can't face saying "period stain" or "bled through" to a woman, try "I don't mean to embarass you, but just to let you know, you've sat on something, and there's a red mark on your skirt/trousers." She'll think you're either tactful, or oblivious. Offer a hoodie/sweater etc if you have one, or offer to cover for her if she wants to pop home and change.
R Dennis 2 years ago (edited)
I don't understand the problem. People act like they don't want to embarrass the other person. What's more embarrassing: pointing it out so no one else sees it or letting them walk around oblivious to be mortified later? Hey, I tell people if they have a booger hanging - I would want someone to do it for me.
SuperChicken 2 years ago
Not if it's done discreetly towards the person. It's still embarrassing, but it's not as mortifying, finding out at the end of the day that we've had the stain, all day, for the world to see.
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Jennifer Norton 2 years ago
All women know this happens. It is embarrassing but what's more embarrassing is not being told it has happened so it can be taken care of! It's not going to make us mad at you for telling us!!!
Kate Jones 2 years ago
Just tell us. It's a period. No one above the age of 15 is embarrassed by it...except men.
Benita Valdez 2 years ago
A little discretion goes a long way. Just let them know discretely and you will be appreciated
jolie laide 2 years ago
As a woman, yes, just straight up tell me please! My embarrassment would stem from knowing I've probably been walking around like this for awhile now, rather than you pointing it out.
David 2 years ago
A related but perhaps less embarrassing thing is when a woman (often those with larger chests) has a blouse button that has come undone. You can usually tell the difference between accidental and "I like to tease with my cleavage". I've never had a woman get mad at me for kindly / discreetly point out they were 'gapping'.
Florence O'Grady 2 years ago
Yes! Most definitely! If you're speaking to an older (50 and up) gentleman, ask if they remember what xyz (examine your zipper) means. If you need to tell anyone their zipper is down do it quietly and without others around if possible.
Load More Replies...Meanwhile, we also wanted to get Dr. Mintz's thoughts on what could help grownups get past their feelings of embarrassment when asking questions on sensitive topics like sex.
"We live in a culture that bombards us with sexual images, but tells us very little scientifically accurate information about sex. We also get the message, either consciously or unconsciously, that sex is dirty, or taboo, or too private to discuss. However, I promise that it is easier to learn to talk about sex than it is to read minds (or vaginas!)," the expert said.
"And, the research is very clear: couples who communicate about sex have better sex. Also, in research, when asked what is most important to them during intercourse, not one woman mentioned penis size. They mention a partner that cares about their pleasure and makes that clear via communication."
#4
QUESTION: I just wanna know how weird/unsafe women feel if a man is walking behind them in some silent area? Cause I have internal panic attacks thinking "omg is the woman ahead of me feeling uncomfortable" I usually just overtake them but sometimes overtaking might feel like a direct attack from behind so there's that worry too,, what would women prefer men do in such situations ☠️
ANSWER 1: A guy once called out to me, 'Not following you, I promise, just at a really awkward distance behind.' I appreciated that. Often our heads go into overdrive when we're alone, so giving us any kind of signal or message takes things out of potential panic mode. Also giving a lot of space while overtaking, so you're not right next to her as you pass, is reassuring.
- PersonalityLost5228
ANSWER 2: One night, I was super drunk walking home and saw a girl ahead of me that seemed worried about my presence. I didn't know what to do, so I pretended to call my girlfriend on the phone. She slowed the pace, and I was able to overtake her, but I stumbled in a very goofy way. I heard her chuckle behind me. It was a little embarrassing.
- mimortiseixecani
ANSWER 3: I was walking home from the bar one night, totally smashed, and I ended up basically following this gal for like four blocks, and it was starting to get weird because it was like 1 a.m., so drunk me just yelled, ‘Hey I’m walking home and kinda smashed, and we seem like we’re going in the same direction, but if you want me to walk in front so you can watch me and feel safer, that’s totally cool.’ She went from peeking over her shoulder to laughing. We ended up walking together for a few blocks, and turned out she lived two buildings away from me.
- Halomir
3 Owls In A Coat 2 years ago (edited)
Guys - if you ever wonder “am I making this girl uncomfortable by walking behind her” - yes you’re making her uncomfortable, and it’s NOT always your personal fault, there’s some things I didn’t realize were weird until men point it out (my last date, whose house I walked at 11:00 at night, laughed at me for walkiing through a heavy—crime area to his house with a steak knife up my sleeve? “Just bring anyone who gives you trouble to me, I’ll fix it” ok this loser obviously doesn’t get it 🙄) also we’ve already been clocking you for at least 200m before you noticed (for my American pandas, that’s like 1400 bananas or as much of an American football field as I can run before collapsing.) But that’s what it’s like to be a girl. We HAVE to pay attention. Or else we get hurt and someone finds a way to blame it on what we were wearing. It is genuinely a life-or-death thing. OP sounds like a really cool person for understanding that.
Dr 2 years ago
Maybe reconsider the knife thing. Firstly, it is illegal in the UK to carry a knife. Secondly, a lot of the time it is a weapon that can easily be taken from you and used against you. And yes, it is always, always threatening when a man walks behind a woman. Do not do this, men. Cross the road.
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Little Wonder 2 years ago
If you can, cross the road. If you're walking through a carpark or something and that's not possible, slow your pace just a little so it doesn't sound/feel like you're trying to catch up to her.
Rachknits 2 years ago
Yes, if you can't cross over DON'T try to overtake. Slow down and make noise, like obvious footsteps, humming etc.
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Mona 2 years ago
I was walking home alone one night in college along a dark, deserted street. There was a man coming my way, tall and heavily muscled with a white tank that made the latter more obvious, and I was starting to wonder what to do. He was still at least a block away when he crossed over to the other side of the street. I was so grateful (enough to remember it 20 years later!) If you're shy and would rather not call out to strangers, crossing the street is definitely an option!
Dr 2 years ago
The woman can also cross the street too. Cross it once or twice and if the man is following you, it is now time to turn around and at least look him in the face, if not confront him. You are then at least not going to be suddenly grabbed from behind with no warning.
Load More Replies... Jennifer Norton 2 years ago
most men don't realize how truly terrifying being a woman in this world is!
Barbara Cochrane 2 years ago
I was amazed when a African American male co worker asked me if I would be afraid of him if I saw him walking down the street at night, near me. He asked he said because he is black. I said yes but not because he is black but any man, at night, and any woman. He seemed flummoxed by my answer as if he thought I was lying.
jolie laide 2 years ago
Exactly, I call it "tagging" which to me just means, knowing who is around me. Whether you're 7 or 70, male or female, single or in a group, I know you're there and hopefully by me keeping an eye on you, you know that I'm aware just in case you're up to no good.
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Just me, myself, and I 2 years ago
Call me cynical but there isn't anything a guy can say to make me feel less in danger. I see it as a tactic bad guys would use to make me think they're a good guy. Just cross the street please. If you can't cross the street, stop walking and give me a couple minutes head start.
Ozzyols 2 years ago
My Mum told the story of being “Stalked” late one night on a smoggy London street in the 60’s… every time she sped up, the footsteps behind her sped up… finally she made a bolt for the phone box she knew was just up the road, and dived in to call the cops. A few seconds later her pursuer caught up to her… it was a local Bobby (Cop) on his beat and thought Mum was up to something suss… It was late and the smog was so thick you couldn’t see details of the person five feet away. Mum said she nearly had a heart attack, but the young officer did walk her the rest of the way home
Dr 2 years ago
These days in the UK, having a police officer walk a lone woman home would also worry me. Especially a Met officer.
Load More Replies... Katy McMouse 2 years ago
I once had a guy say almost cheerily "coming through - don't be scared" and quickly passed me. It was late and very dark and I really appreciated that simple line.
Stephanie Cunningham 2 years ago
I went on a hike alone a couple of years ago through a large urban trail system in a nearby city. Without fail, every solo man I encountered on that trip politely alerted me to his presence before he came near me. Just a simple comment like, "Nice day, isn't it, ma'am?" made me feel so safe and comfortable. I really appreciate guys who make efforts like this.
#5
QUESTION: Do you want pockets in clothing?
ANSWER 1: Yes all of them
- Mondmim
ANSWER 2: ALL of them. Literally. Pockets in shirts, hoodies, sweaters, ALL pants, multiple pockets in pants, shorts, skirts, dresses, shoes, hell- put them in socks too why not? I. Want. Pockets.
- wheredMyArmourGo
Billie Templeton 2 years ago
Why do you think we put random stuff in our bras? Not enough pockets in the wardrobe :D
Unnamed Hooman 2 years ago
Idk how people do it, that is so uncomfortable!
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Dawnyducks 2 years ago
My boots have a zipper and pocket to hold cards and money and I show people whenever I can lol. POCKETS!
Butler Amadeus Torso 2 years ago
Casual clothes, absolutely, but I don’t love them in formalwear. I had a couple of gowns where I had to remove the pockets & sew the seams closed bc the dresses were supposed to fit smoothly over the hips & the pockets just wouldn’t lie flat. (Fwiw, I don’t think it’s fair to downvote me for this. This is a matter of opinion/individual body types. I am just sharing that I don’t always love pockets because they do not work for me in fitted dresses.)
Sarah Pierce 2 years ago
It definitely depends on the cut of the dress, tbf though you could say the same about some men's styles.
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Jennifer Norton 2 years ago
funny story.... the company I work for is doing sock this year with pockets! They are called stash socks!!!!!
jolie laide 2 years ago
Oh that's neat! I saw a product on Amazon awhile back, where it's a hair scrunchy that doubles as a mini-purse/pocket. How well it would work, I dunno, but for stashing some cash it seems like it'd be a good idea.
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Icecream Sarang 2 years ago (edited)
It would be great if our pants pockets went deeper than the second knuckle.
Catastrophisticate 2 years ago
"Women don't need pockets, they carry purses!" NO, women carry purses because we lack pockets! And they're damn expensive, too! LOL
#6
QUESTION: How do you remember that annoying thing we did that one time 6 years ago, why did you just bring it up?
ANSWER: Because it was deeply hurtful to me and you brushed it off or weren't completely honest with me about it. I know it and I want the whole truth, or I want you to acknowledge my feelings. Some combination of these things probably.
- J33P88
Billie Templeton 2 years ago
THIS. So accurate. We are bringing it up because it still nettles and want closure. Some kind of revisit where it isn't brushed off but is owned.
Debbie 2 years ago
and sometimes I didn't bring it up at the time as I felt I shouldn't be so upset about it / it shouldn't bother me as much / I didn't realize it bothered me that much untill much later.
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Anxious&Bored Bear 2 years ago
And telling us that we have to deal with it means we'll bury it for a while, but it will resurface and you won't like that, either.
Load More Replies... Icecream Sarang 2 years ago
Or because your current behavior reminded us of it and we both need to learn from our past mistakes and fights.
tuzdayschild 2 years ago
Exactly! You never acknowledged or apologized so the wound never healed.
Jill Pulcifer 2 years ago
So true! I still bring up something my husband did 12 years ago because I never got the truth nor did he validate my feelings, so closure is impossible.
Butler Amadeus Torso 2 years ago (edited)
Haha yep. One time, about twelve years ago, my husband stiffed a delivery guy on a tip. (He didn’t really do it on purpose; he just wasn’t paying attention & tipped the guy $1 on a big order during crappy weather.) I was livid, reamed him out, & now, even years later, always, always check the tip whenever we go anywhere or do anything & I don’t pay. It drives him crazy & I should let it go but I just can’t.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
Let it go ... My wife got a divorce note for a number of things, one of them was treating me like an incompetent.
Load More Replies... Lynne Bear Hugs 2 years ago
Omg! My ex husband continuously brought up stuff that he didn't like, people who disagreed with him, etc etc for decades. Hot tempered, impossible to live with person. he could never let go of anything.
According to Dr. Mintz, the information about sexual communication and pleasuring women is out there, but you need to seek it from certified sex therapists instead of porn or movies.
"Great starting places are the books, She Comes First by Ian Kerner, Sizzling Sex by Michael Castleman, and the chapter written in my book, Becoming Cliterate, just for male partners. Indeed, published research shows that men who read the chapter written for them ('Cliteracy for Him') improve their knowledge of women’s genital anatomy and sexual pleasure, as well as their sexual communication skills. They also decrease their endorsement of harmful myths related to both women’s and men’s sexuality."
#7
QUESTION: Do girls expect to be kissed? Like she’s dropping mad hints that she’s into me but I’m nervous to make a move over fear that it’s not what she wants
ANSWER: If you’re picking up hints but you’re not sure, I’d ask “can I kiss you?” as smoothly as possible and she’ll clarify whether that’s okay or not. If she’s offended by you asking for consent, she’s immature and that’s not on you.
- AnnoyinglyEarnest
Kel_how 2 years ago
I was on a 2nd date with a guy and we'd both had a really good time. He walked me to my car and asked if he could kiss me, but I said no. He was super sweet about it and even physically backed up. When we finally did kiss, it was great because I knew he'd respect my boundaries.
Alleman Jennifer 2 years ago
Always ask for any touching first. Evens hug… can I give you a squeeze or something… take no liberties w other people,s bodies. This includes people of ages and any sort or relationship. I’m not a hugger. My sister is. So is my mom. I cut my mom slack. She’s my mom. I tell my sister to get off me.
Upstaged75 2 years ago
Yup - just ask. I was VERY pleasantly surprised when a guy did that one time on a date. Most just awkwardly go for it when they aren't sure. :)
Kate Jones 2 years ago
Good answer. Just ask. Or if you want to be smooth about it, next time you're with her at some point just look at her and tell you that you've wanted to kiss her all night. If she smiles then she's into it. Trust me if a girl isn't into it, she will immediately let you know.
Epona 2 years ago
Take so many upvotes!! Communication is super important, in any relationship. Particularly an intimate/romantic one!
Load More Replies... Jennifer Norton 2 years ago
when you are first dating and the guy does something cute like ask if he can kiss you in a sweet tone....o...m...g... that is the stuff!!!!
Hakitosama 2 years ago
Asking for the consent is a GOOD thing, or you ca apply the 50/50 rule : you go for 50% of the distance and you let her do the other 50%. If she doesn't, or worse back off, you respect the implied no
MrsFettesVette 2 years ago
This is an excellent answer. Its hard to read someone's signals, especially since you're getting to know them. I just asked my husband, "do you think you'll ever kiss me?" And he did.
#8
QUESTION: Do you guys like it when men show vulnerability?
ANSWER: YES YES YES! It’s important that we normalize men showing emotions and accepting that it’s okay to be vulnerable.
- HilariouslyGolden
Casey McAlister 2 years ago
I can't say that I 'like" it, it's not some kind of a show for you to enjoy, I just see it as a completely normal, human emotion, not inherently good or bad, it's just there.
Jennifer Norton 2 years ago
My hubby and I had a misunderstanding the other day. Due mostly to him being under stress. It got out of hand and I ended up going to bed alone and upset. I texted him that I was sorry so that he would see it after working out and the next morning he came to me and whispered in my ear that he was sorry and gave me the biggest hug. It was the most endearing moment. When he shows me his soft side like that I just melt and fall in love with him even harder!!!! I am 100% cool with him being cold and distant or stand offish to the world but to me he shows me his soft underbelly of emotions and I cherish it!
Caro Caro 2 years ago
That's really nice. Did you tell him you melted and love him even more? Men need to hear that too, just like we do.
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birdhouse 2 years ago
...but then she says she can't find you sexy because your not manly enough?
TrippyBanana 2 years ago
That's an immature girl who probably doesn't show her own true emotions.
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mandy the capibara 2 years ago
For me it is all about authenticity. Most times, romantic or not,I just want to get to know who YOU are as a person. Vulnerability is essential part of that. But using vulnerability as an act to gain sympathy never works. That is just as inauthentic as this pumped up alpha act. I've seen the "sadboy™ act a few times, and that felt very manipulating to me. Just try to give the other person a chance to see who you are: the parts you feel great about, And the parts you're not so sure about. Not everyone will love it, but the ones who do, will probably stick around for much longer
jolie laide 2 years ago
Oh for the love of... yes, show your emotions! I really wish people would stop this whole "vulnerability" label. I get why it's called that, because any blow back could hurt twice as much, but for gods sake, we're all human and naturally emotional creatures. If someone blows you off or rips into when you're showing your belly so to speak, RUN! The person or people who genuinely care about you, wouldn't do that in a million years. Trust is such a hard thing for everyone, and we can't ever be certain 100% of the time, all the time, but it's worth it to keep expressing because it does good for YOU. F**k the a******s, no matter their gender. I had an ex once, I asked him about this and he said, I"m the rock for everyone." So I replied, "How is the rock for you?" He didn't answer.
millac 1 year ago
I think this one comes with caveats. When woman say they want men to show emotions, to be more emotional, have emotional honesty, etc. they mean on a level that a woman does. I.e. as part of their everyday life and communication. So yes, say when you're happy, or like something, or are stressed, or having a hard time. But what men tend to do when asked to be vulnerable is trauma dump a lifetime of seriously heavy, messed up stuff. Just a firehose to the face of "my dad never loved me" or similar. When the other person was more or less asking for something along the lines of "please tell me when you're having a bad day and why instead of bottling it up or snapping". So way too much, too fast, and definitely at the wrong moment. And then that is made worse when the man attaches, limpet like, onto his girlfriend as basically his new therapist and emotional crutch. This often leads to the man being dumped and angry, feeling like it was a trap
#9
QUESTION: What kind of common behavior makes a guy seem creepy or unattractive?
ANSWER 1: Asking sexual questions when you're not very close friends.
- ImproveOrEnjoy
ANSWER 2: Throwing too many compliments right off the hop. You can easily turn from a good, nice guy to a creep in less than five seconds.
- ItsCatWoman
ANSWER 3: I don't like when men are way too forward, way too fast. Like, hinting at sex or making sexual jokes at me when I've known you for four hours. And acting like they're entitled to my time, like if I don't respond within five minutes. The, 'OK, guess you're not interested,' response is major creep/red flag alert.
- Hyentics
ANSWER 4: Telling me to smile.
- rosecityrose0618
Little Wonder 2 years ago
It's the sex jokes for me. Do I mind sex jokes from men I've known a long time or am close to? No. do I mind them from Some Bloke i met an hour ago? YEP. Gross.
Jungle Empress 85 2 years ago
It's different with friends because you *know* they're joking. My friends and I tease each other all the time!
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Caryle 2 years ago
Calling my job and flirting with me because I work on the phone when you do that you’re wasting my time hurting my statistics and ruining my chance for a promotion just so you can flirt and tell your stupid jokes please stop
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Nenya 2 years ago (edited)
Touch! Don’t mean a handshake or occasional high-five. But please don’t touch me every time we meet (especially creeping up from behind) even if it’s just a stroke on my back, it’s iffy and makes me very uncomfortable.
Vira 2 years ago
I learned this is different for everyone! I have extreme triggers around being touched (long story) but some people absolutely love it. My sister is a very touch-feel-huggy person, by contrast. My in-laws are, too. I had to be clear with my in laws that I don't want touched. Communication is so important. Giving people grace for different upbringing is important, too.
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Lynette Vella 2 years ago
OMG, the "Telling me to smile" comment makes me furious. C'mon! Can't I just have a private moment, just thinking about something?!? Do I always have to be the accomadating, male-affirming woman?
Alicia M 2 years ago
Biggest turn off for me is someone who's sexist. Sexism is everywhere, and I am so sick of seeing it, and dealing with it daily that if I detect any sexism in someone I first meet, I'm done. I'm not wasting my time on men who are sexist, and many of them don't even realize it. There are guys who think women overreact at some "mild" sexism, and my response is it's not mild when it's something women experience every day. Any amount of sexism is wrong. Also, you can take that toxic masculinity "alpha male" garbage and use it to impress yourself because it's not impressing anyone else. It's grotesque. Don't be condescending. Don't tell women what to do. It's not your place, and no one asked for your opinion.
RafCo (he/him/ele) 2 years ago
Can you share some examples of "mild" sexism. I'm asking because I'd be willing to bet we're all guilty of this to some extent, and in my opinion, doing or saying the wrong thing is inevitable. But the willingness to understand, empathize, and learn is the test of someone's character. So in that spirit, what are some everyday things that you find hurtful, so we can work on that?
Load More Replies... Kate Jones 2 years ago (edited)
Getting the sense that sex, my body, your body, sex organs or anything else is all you're thinking about. Stop making every single minute of what you're doing some game to get sex. I hear men talk about how they 'get' a girl and they talk about it like it's some mastermind plan and I promise you, we saw you coming a mile away. Every guy thinks they figured out some magic to con us into sleeping with them. Nope. We made that decision long ago. If we sleep with you anyway, she must really like you because she's doing it in spite of that idiocy. I don't care if you have a big penis. Men are the only ones who care about penis size. It's gross when you talk about how 'good' you think you are in bed or what you're going to do to me. Try to remember that the things that turn you on are not the same things that turn us on. We are not attracted to the same things. Don't talk to us the way you want to be talked to. You want to see naked women which is why you think women want to see naked men. We are not the same.
Kate Jones 2 years ago
Just to add, women are more calculated than you think and if we want you, we're aware of everything we do from the way the line in our leg looks, to the way we tilt our heads, to the way our hair falls in our face, to the way we dress so it looks like we weren't trying but I promise it took hours to choose the perfect outfit, to the placement of our perfume...the list goes on. Things you guys would never even think about. And our power is that it may look like we are completely unaware of it but I promise you, we know. If we want you, we do what we know will ATTRACT YOU. Men try to get women by doing what attracts *them* instead of us, and this is why they may fail.
Load More Replies... magix (they/them) 2 years ago
touching people, not understanding "no", laughing when the other person is sad
3 Owls In A Coat 2 years ago
Honestly I don’t like this question because human men aren’t a monolith. But I can say - whether a person already intrinsically finds you’re attractive or not WILL influence how they think about you and your actions. If someone isn’t already attracted to you, it’s not actually that easy to get them to somehow suddenly randomly find you attractive. There’s a lot more subtle stuff going on and you can’t always put your finger on WHY you find someone attractive or not. For example - my best male friend of 12 years is handsome and kind and smart/funny/sweet/ideal boyfriend material……but I’m just not physically attracted to him and he’s not attracted to me 😅 that has a lot more to do with hormones and genetic stuff than any perceived character flaws.
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
I have found I am not generally likely going to find someone attractive until I get to know them well. I have to like them first before I even notice what they look like.
Load More Replies... David 2 years ago
I'm old school so just about anything I see in the "how to pick up girls fast" category is usually absolute cringe to me. Stuff like "treat her badly like you don' care" or "tell her what you are going to do to her" and so on. That sh..t might actually work on some women with low self esteem but if it does you are not the woman I was looking for anyway. TLDR: Drive like you wan to enjoy the journey, not like your only goal is to cross the finish line.
mandy the capibara 2 years ago
For me, the rule of thumb is: if you would find it weird to say it to a man in a similar position, it probably is creepy to say to a woman. This includes the amount of contact, asking very personal questions, touching, comments about looks, and sexual topics. Telling a male or female collegue you like their sweater, probably completely fine! Telling the same collegue how beautifully that sweater compliments their chest/figure whatever.. Yeah, you'd probably feel a bit weird saying that to a man? Then it is also weird to say it to a woman. And with regards to flirting: only pursue it when it is mutual, and avoid in all situations where someone can not comfortably back out/turn down the advances (such as within professional contact etc)
Meanwhile, the author of the thread, redditor u/SlenderBacon449, was kind enough to share his thoughts on the topic as well. "I was first inspired to ask this question while I was talking to two of my friends and they started complaining about their periods, and as I sat there listening, I wondered why we guys didn’t know anything about periods or menstrual cycles. I was again inspired to ask when one of my guy friends was rejected by a woman for being 'too manly,'" he told Bored Panda.
"I didn’t understand what she meant and I eventually got to thinking about what women really want in a guy. Do they generally want a man to be tough or vulnerable? Maybe a little bit of both? I decided that I could knock out all these questions about women with a Reddit post so some women could educate some men on these topics, but I never expected the post to get that much attention!"
According to u/SlenderBacon449, guys lack understanding of women because "if you were to approach a woman, whether she’s a stranger or your girlfriend, and start asking her about periods and tampons and her taste in men, you would get some weird looks."
#10
QUESTION: What can we safely compliment? Are all things related to appearance off limits?
ANSWER 1: Compliment things that are choices, not things that aren’t.
Pseudonymico
ANSWER 2: They're not off limits, but it's all about context and phrasing. Here are some good rules of of thumb:
Compliment what women wear instead of how they wear it.
Try mention things they chose and have control over.
Don't mention being attracted to something you've complimented them about.
- peppermint-latte
ANSWER 3: Don't compliment someone you work with on their body, it seems like you are hitting on them. Things that are off limits include "great legs", "that dress fits your body well", "you have a cute smile" etc. Can easily come off creepy.
Compliment them on something they chose e.g. "that haircut looks cool", "I like your earrings", "you have a great sense of style", "you are always in a happy mood, it brings the energy of the room up" etc.
- artificialnocturnes
Aria Whitaker 2 years ago (edited)
Agreed. However with one big exception...many women, including myself, dont seem to have an issue with eyes. Whenever a guy has said I have pretty eyes, it has never felt creepy or weird. They are certainly not something I "chose". Not sure why, but eyes are usually ok...as long as its not a sexual "I love your smoky bedroom eyes baby *wink wink*" type of thing.
Load More Replies... BannedFromABoatShow 2 years ago
Would you compliment a guy’s shirt, or the hot way it clings to his abs? Use that as your guide to complimenting a woman.
3 Owls In A Coat 2 years ago
Don’t tell me “your a*s looks great in those jeans.” Just tell me “nice jeans.”🤦♀️ do some people have an empathy problem or something, like why is this such an issue with some men?
BravePanda 2 years ago
Complimenting a good hair day can also be ok "your hair should be in a shampoo commerical, it's bouncy like your personality" remains one of my all time favorite compliments from a stranger. (I am decidedly "bouncy* it's hard to ignore)
memyselfandI 2 years ago
You can compliment on how the outfit looks on them, just so long as it’s “this color/style looks good on you” not “your body looks good in this”. Focus on the choice, not the side effect.
XanthippeⓐWulf🇨🇦 🇬🇧 2 years ago
It's easy to get hung up on all the does and don'ts, but a good rule to follow is "Would you say that to your mother?" Would you tell your mum her body looked great in that dress, or that she has a really sexy smile? Then nope.
Mie Andersen 2 years ago
You can only say things you would also say to your mom og sister, in our workplace. I think thats a nice rule, and easy to remember
#11
QUESTION: Many women always smell pleasant. Like noticeably pleasant. In comparison, guys either smell bad or neutral. Is this an active choice to always smell good? Do you try to make yourself smell noticeably good all the time?
ANSWER: I think women's products in general have nicer smells. There's a popular joke about women's body products having scents like 'gentle mist of meadow,' 'tropical heavenly paradise,' and 'sparkling champagne dreams.' Meanwhile, men's are 'FROST. BLAST. SPORT. OIL CHANGE. GUN.
- GaimanitePkat
Mrs. EW 2 years ago
Some women have problems with smelling nice too. We’re humans, just like you. Especially when hormones go over board.
Tracy Wallick 2 years ago
I learned from a dermatologist that a good way to combat BO is to use soap with benzoyl peroxide in your problem areas; it kills the bacteria that causes BO.
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Laura Gillette 2 years ago
I feel like a lot of women are taught better hygiene than men. Also, I've heard about a lot of men who don't seem to think you need to wash your towels, so they are drying themselves after a shower with gross towels. Same with bedsheets. You don't wash your bedsheets, and then wonder why you smell bad. It used to be *a thing* back in college, where I'd visit my guy friends' dorm rooms and we'd say "it smells like Boy in here", which really meant dirty linens.
Vira 2 years ago (edited)
This is soooo true. Men are frequently left out of hygiene discussions, or told there's something wrong with them for asking, so they never ask. which means they never learn.
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rabbitsrabbit 2 years ago
we get a lot more pdts marketed to us too - skincare stuff, hair (masks, styling spays, oils), body (lotions, creams, hand creams) etc etc. Women with a low-maintenace routines can easily outdo the average guy.
Id row 2 years ago
I find this answer inaccurate. It's the simple fact that they don't pay attention to things like that. Most (straight) men don't take the extra time to frequently put on scented things like women do. They don't carry around scented lotion and perfume either.
pink_panda 2 years ago
I use gently scented lotion and perfume every day (not super expensive stuff and not around people with breathing issues). People tell me I smell good all the time and I love it!
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Kirsten Kerkhof 2 years ago
Haha, after dance class I sure as heck do not smell nice, no matter how much 72-hour deodorant I used.
Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago (edited)
Guys, just f*****g shower regularly. Like every day, or at least every other if you’re not exerting yourself. Wash your damned hair. Use a nice smelling soap, and lather up with it. Stay in there long enough to clean EVERYTHING, including your pits, feet, and that “undercarriage”. Sparingly use an aftershave that’s not overwhelming or just stinks. Axe is OUT. But you don’t necessarily have to spend a fortune on it. Believe it or not, the old stand-by, that your father and grandfather used, Old Spice, isn’t half bad and is compatible with most men’s body chemistry. Make sure your clothes are clean, in good repair, and not all wrinkly. If you’re using the smell test to decide what to wear, you are not doing this right. Launder them, when they’re dry, Hang them up—-neatly-—-in the closet, or fold them—-neatly—-and put them away in a clothes dresser. Yeah, also buy some actual indoor furniture that matches, same with dishes and silverware, which you wash after every use, then put away in a dedicated cabinet or drawer. Cripes, I feel like this needs to be spelled out in such detail, it’s ridiculous, nd shouldn’t have to happen.
#12
QUESTION: With periods is it a gush, a small leak, or more of a drip every so often?
ANSWER 1: All three. And sometimes, it's a clot, which feels like you're passing a hot slug through your orifice. Periods are fun.
- mycatisblackandtan
ANSWER 2: To give you a more in-depth answer, it depends on the woman AND the period. Contrary to popular belief, a period is not just a period. They can be easy, hard, heavy, painful, absent, light, etc. And most girls have different ones randomly. So, you'll usually bleed the same every cycle, but diet, stress, and hormones can alter it.
For most girls, the first two to three days are the heaviest. This means heavy flows, cramping, and gushing — this usually happens when you sit up or stand up after a long time in one position, and so the blood has pooled in the cervix or back of the vaginal canal and comes gushing forward or out. With tampons, you tend not to have this issue as much, if at all. The later days, it's just a trickle or flow again, but less blood overall.
- randominternetuser46
3 Owls In A Coat 2 years ago
This morning I woke up, rolled over, and because my vagina is secretly an a*****e, suddenly my legs were covered with blood. Not sorry for the TMI because this is a normal body function. It’s just an annoying body function. Especially when you wake up in someone else’s bed 😅 (the bed-owner was really cool about it, he even tried to give me his own clothes to change into).
Debbie 2 years ago
And if you are "lucky" you stained on both matresses because you were lying in the middle. And then clening for an hour with cold water, baking soda, towels...
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The Doom Song 2 years ago
I thought so too... it's so relatable unfortunately
Load More Replies... Unnamed Hooman 2 years ago
On my first period, I described it as a ‘nosebleed from below’ and that was accurate. It’s like if you got punched in the nose and it bled, the blood itself doesn’t hurt, but your nose and head hurt.
Vira 2 years ago
I think it should be described no differently than an open wound. It's just an unfortunate bleeding wound for several days. Complete with everything a large wound comes with: bleeding, clots, dizziness, nausea, lethargy, pain, headaches from blood loss/iron loss, possible temperature fluctuations, localized cramping, exposed nerve type feelings, sensitivity. Most symptoms are the exact same thing; it's just that women's bodies wound themselves, per biology. Thanks nature.
Jennifer Norton 2 years ago
the one thing I love about the internet age is the sharing of info like above. No judgement on the question.. just pure facts! I love this!
Alleman Jennifer 2 years ago
I hit meno when I was 38. Hot flashes not withstanding, It was awesome
GV Martinez-Williams 2 years ago
I'm so jealous. I'm about to hit 50 and still going steady 😕
Load More Replies... Kirsten Kerkhof 2 years ago
I can tell by the smell and the colour of the blood how far into my period I am. Of course I count days, but if a certain stage comes earlier or later, I'll notice by the colour and smell.
and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 2 years ago
I’m glad I’m not the only one 😅 I can usually tell how close I am by discharge too.
Load More Replies... jolie laide 2 years ago
Oh yeah, my worst cramps ever are usually because my body is insisting that I pass a clot the size of a quarter, or a large grape. I find that spending a little extra time on the toilet, gently baring down and kind of twisting and rotating my upper body helps this to pass quicker. We sneeze, cough, laugh, sit up, stand up, etc. and we can feel a "gush". Because we're nothing but a very long crack from front to back, trying to steam the flow can be hard too. I buy heavy duty, heavy flow, extra long, overnight pads and even then I sometimes have leak issues.
jolie laide 2 years ago
..or cough, or laugh, or sit up, or stand up. We can fell the gush, oh fun times.
Load More Replies... memyselfandI 2 years ago
And usually there’s a break at the end and an extra little ploop after, and if you’re especially lucky the ploop is the heaviest part.
The OP said that, unfortunately, schools don't teach men about periods because it's assumed that they wouldn't need to know about them.
"Well, I think it’s important for men to know about these things because we need to be able to understand a woman’s struggle during that time of the month and help accordingly," he said.
"When it comes to important questions such as these, I think the best approach is to do as I did and ask the internet! Whether it’s just a Google search or going on a subreddit and asking the question yourself, the internet is our most valuable tool, if it’s just low-key curiosity or if you want to learn more about it," he pointed out that research is the best first step to learning more about biology and anatomy.
"It would be great if schools could help both genders understand each other better with a more expansive sex ed unit in school, but I doubt that will happen."
#13
QUESTION: How do you hide your period pain so well?
ANSWER: You get used to it. Plus pain killers.
- dumbasspositive
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
And it can be really detrimental, especially as it means when you do finally crack and take time off work or something, people will not believe it's that bad because you haven't complained much before.
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Mrs. EW 2 years ago
From someone who’s had cramps since I was 11, now 43, you do get used to it mostly. That doesn’t mean there won’t be months where the pain is too much and you need extra self care, ie heating pad or water bottle, pain killers or a long agonizing sit on the toilet.
jolie laide 2 years ago
Very true, not to mention we're all so damn busy these days that you end up adopting a, "I've got too much to do!" mentality and that can spirit you through. Similar to the, "I can't be sick, I've got too much to do!" mentality. Or we just break it down, one minute at a time, one hour, etc. Honestly, some months it feels like a damn miracle.
Load More Replies... Icecream Sarang 2 years ago
I once sat on the floor of the bathroom at work crying because my cramps were so bad. I ended up sitting there for 45m until the ibuprofen kicked in enough to walk around. How do we hide it? Sometimes we literally HIDE.
jolie laide 2 years ago
My Mom was like this, her periods were debilitating and atrocious (endometriosis), but since she was a wife and mother, she had to carry on and it was SO hard watching her crying all day long while trying to go about life, hunched over, sitting when she could, hot water bottles, loads of pain meds, etc. I started menstruating at 13, and mine were so mild and pain free, Mom was thrilled, thinking I was in the clear, but nope. It just came on worse as I got older. I remember after a marching band practice, parents all came to pick us up, but one older girl was missing. I found her in the bathroom, curled in a ball, rocking and crying. She said it was her period, so I went and found her folks and they got her home.
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Jennifer Norton 2 years ago
It's also been proven through science that women do have a higher tolerance of pain. So what is like a 2-3 to me would be a 5-6 (roughly) to a guy. Nature set it up that way so that we could have the babies and not die of the shock of the pain!
jolie laide 2 years ago
Yeah, reminds me of the period simulator YouTube vids, were men wear a belt like contraption to see what it's like. I wouldn't wish this agony on anybody, but it's nice to know that some guys are willing to try it, and react honestly.
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giggles 2 years ago
Period pain is different for different women. Some, it will make them physically ill, requiring serious pain meds. Others, acetaminophen or ibuprofen will do the trick. In this day and age, women are still looked down on for a normal bodily function, something not to be discussed as it is considered 'dirty'. (eye roll)
Lynette Vella 2 years ago (edited)
Men have no idea how much women put up with pain everyday, in so many aspects. I can barely tolerate it when my husband acts like a baby over a headache or feeling aching after pulling weeds - gimme a break!
BannedFromABoatShow 2 years ago
Period pain is normalized. Everyone has it so it’s not that bad. Just suck it up. Substitute period pain for broken bone or cancer and suddenly people get real uncomfortable. I’ll never understand why it’s ok to be in pain from only certain sources, but identical pain from other sources isn’t real.
Kirsten Kerkhof 2 years ago
Painkillers and not wanting stupid comments/questions about 'that time of the month'. I have a job to do and a living to earn, so I just pop some Advils, and carry on.
Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago
Well sir, imagine this. Every single month, starting at about age 11-ish, you go through a menstrual period, where you bleed like a stuck pig, and have cramps so bad you turn white from the pain. You do get time off for pregnancy, but that has its own—-even worse—-discomfort and unbearable pain. Anyway, your monthly periods continue for about 40+/- years—-40 years is 480 months, so you’ve experienced the pain, bloating, and bleeding 480 times, unless you have been pregnant—-until menopause, with its own laundry list of physical and emotional issues caused by fluctuating hormones, knocks you for a f*****g loop, although it does free you of the monthly bleeding. How accustomed to, as well as adept at hiding, regularly occurring pain do you think YOU would end up being?
#14
QUESTION: Bro how do we become friends with yall. Theres some people I've only talked to a few times but I feel like we could have the dopest of friendships. Like no romantic stuff or couple stuff but like we can play smash bros all day
ANSWER 1: You'll be surprised how much we crave strictly platonic friendship with a guy, because most of the time men end up having ulterior motives. Just treat us like your friend, and
hope you don't get misunderstood.
- whispervesper
ANSWER 2: If she seems hesitant, you can just tell her outright that you're just looking for friendship. Also, inviting her to a group thing instead of one-on-one can help keep expectations platonic.
- peppermint-latte
CrunChewy McSandybutt 2 years ago
I think this is difficult because of how each gender treats friendship. Women base friendships on deep connections, talking out vulnerabilities, etc. Men generally only talk about their feelings with significant others. So, when a woman treats a male friend like she does her female friends, he misinterprets it. This is a sweeping generalization, so it's far more nuanced than this.
Violet Jensen 2 years ago
This is a giant long story that’s fairly complicated but I’ll do my best. When I met my best friend, it was before she came out as a transgender woman. We became really great friends, very quickly. Just got along really well, friendship lasted for five years. Longer than any I had before. Then I ended up seeing old conversations (long story but I wasn’t snooping or anything) going back for years she had with some mutual friends, about how she liked me as more than friends but “didn’t want to be one of those people who was only friends with her because I like her”. Really respected that, her keeping boundaries, but also she’s met my previous bfs/gfs and she knows I have 0 standards. Anyway we’re dating now
Kosh1k 2 years ago
I just wanna say that I actually had almost the exact same expirience, down to her coming out as a woman and finding out she liked me from the start through mutual friends, except in my case we amicably broke up eventually and she remains one of my best friends. (Not saying you are gonna break up, just amused such a specific chain of events happened to two different people).
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robin aldrich 2 years ago
When I was younger, I always had several male friends and really loved them and there was a couple of times, maybe they seemed like they wanted more.... and now there's that term where you've been "friend zoned" and that's like a negative thing as if we'd rejected them which is just not the case
Min 2 years ago
Whenever I see/hear a guy complaining about being "friend-zoned" I feel so sorry for the woman who thought she had made a friend, but it turned out he was just pretending to be her friend because he wanted to sleep with her. It's such a f****d up concept!
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Jennifer Norton 2 years ago
screw that "hope you don't get misunderstood" b******t... tell the girl. Hey I think your cool and I like playing video games with you. I want to be your friend but nothing romantic. Just friends. You will be surprised how far that gets you. Being open and honest is best in any new friendship!
jolie laide 2 years ago
This is a hard one, but I always say, I'm open to friends of any gender. The more the merrier! If feelings develop, shoot your shot! If it doesn't work out, that's how the dice roll, but it's impossible to control emotions. You can't stop yourself from falling for someone, without breaking off entirely for awhile, or just not acting/saying anything and being miserable until X amount of time and you're past it. It's no ones fault if it happens, and it does suck, because usually it means the end of the friendship, but in rare cases, it doesn't. Now if you just lust after them, that's different, but trying to prevent genuine feelings? Impossible, I think. It's life, you roll with the punches.
TheBreadKnight 2 years ago
I find becoming friends with women easy. I just act kind and slowly edge out the inner way I act (edging is required because I’m not very good at being social.) What’s hard is showing romantic interest.
DaisyGirl 2 years ago
I used to have a load of male friends, totally one of the guys, UNTIL got into serious relationship or got married. I was vetoed by GF or Wife as not an acceptable friend. I got to keep about 3 of those mates post serious reship and marriage WITH the added bonus of having their other half now a friend too.
Alex S 2 years ago
That's quite sad. My husband has a lot of female and male friends and him having female friends I believe has made him a more compassionate, empathetic person to me. At the end of the day if you don't trust your partner not to f**k his friends, you can't trust him around co-workers, strangers or any other people in his life.
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OmBoyGanesh 2 years ago
How the GBF was born! For the cishet folks, let’s say it all together: “communication”. Next: “honesty” - put those two together & you’ve found the start of a beautiful friendship.
#15
QUESTION: why do some of you women lie about being upset?
like when i ask my gf whats wrong when she is clearly upset she usually says nothing. why?
ANSWER: Sometimes it’s because I know I shouldn’t be upset and really don’t want to be and don’t want to burden my partner with my annoying feelings. Sometimes it’s because I’m still mad and feel like stewing a little longer. Often it’s because I’ll cry if we get into the problem and I don’t want to lose the fragile illusion of control I’m fooling myself with lol.
- AutomaticCupcake33
Little Wonder 2 years ago
Sometimes, and this is absolutely not shade on men here, sometimes I'm just not ready for the Solution Mode. men tend to want to fix problems, which is absolutely a good thing, but for me I need some time to sit with my Being Upset before I'm ready to express that upset and hear ideas on how to fix it. Having said that, my (male) BFF sometimes asks now "Are we fixing, or venting?". Vent, then fix!
Beck 2 years ago
And as petty as it sounds, sometimes I am mad because he does not know why I am mad when he damn well should know. He should have known what he said made ne mad or whatever.
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No Name 2 years ago (edited)
It's a common response if you're used to your negative emotions being invalidated when you give voice to them. It may be you, or it may be ingrained from past partners, childhood peers, and/or parents. This is particularly true if you have a known mood disorder. Then you basically need a high degree just be taken seriously when you're just stating facts.
Tracy Wallick 2 years ago
In my experience, if it's not any of the above, it's because I'm tired of having the same fight over and over again where I express that there's a problem and you either don't listen or blow me off, and the problem continues.
Susie Elle 2 years ago
Sometimes it's because I feel that you should have known upfront that something would upset me. The fact that I have to explain afterwards only underlines your lack of understanding what actually went down. I know it's human and you're not a mind-reader, but jesus christ dude why would I NOT be upset about you leaving your s**t lying around for days on end when I have told you again and again that I feel like a maid?
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
nah, we do not know. I always tell my partners if I say something that annoys/hurts it was accidental, so just tell me instead of sulking/ranting so we can get past it.
Load More Replies... BakedKahuna 2 years ago
I sometimes say it's fine because I don't want to be a bother to someone who only asks out of politeness.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
maybe they just don't know what is wrong? and notice you are acting weird? it's not malicious really.
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censorshipsucks 2 years ago (edited)
This one is a big trigger for me. Thanks to everyone below for the clarifications however: 1. If a person is with you and serious about you, they do not want to hurt you, therefore, IF they ask what is wrong it means they do not KNOW they hurt you and therefore your MORAL DUTY is to tell them they hurt you, how, and why. 2. If a person hurts you accidentally, again, it is accidental, so you need to STOP your self-indulgent overthinking and say "how could that activity or action have been accidental". Maybe give your partner benefit of the doubt for not being malevolent? Maybe assume that they GENUINELY are not emotionally literate? Maybe try HELP them to understand YOUR emotional state with a KIND explanation instead? It really DOES NOT help to do the "silent treatment". https://psychcentral.com/health/the-silent-treatment
RedMarbles 2 years ago
I would hope, along with insisting so vehemently that your significant other stop and consider that whatever you did was accidental, that you would also apologize for the accidenatl hurt or offense? If you accidentally hit someone with a hammer, you apologize even if it wasn't intentional. I appreciate that it's easier to objectively understand that a hammer strike is painful, but it's also important to recognize that feelings aren't right or wrong and shouldn't be invalidated by one's partner in a healthy relationship. I agree the silent treatment isn't helpful.
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🪸🤍! lesbian gon rouge !🤍🪸 2 years ago
And sometimes, it's because it really is nothing. We can cry for almost anything and everything, plus no reason at all. So etudes it's just nice to let it out, without needing a reason, and sometimes it's against our own will (hormones, period, etc ).
David 2 years ago (edited)
Human beings in general should be honest with each other. I do not personally believe it is okay to lie. (Insert classic "FINE!" meme). But honest does not mean 'has to talk about it now'. It is perfectly fine to acknowledge you are feeling angry / sad / salty / whatever but you want time to think about it / sort your feelings. I'm male. My best friend (female) has been my closest friend for 50 years. We get along extremely well. But once in a while there is a day where I have so say somethin like, "I'm feeling cranky / upset and I'm trying to sort out why". Usually the why doesn't involve her, rarely it does. And when it IS because of one of us the other one will come back later and we'll analyze it. "You did / said X it made me feel Y, is that what you meant by that?" and so on. Like the Pink Floyd song - just keep on talking. EDIT: One plus of our relationships is no matter what the thing was, we both know it was NEVER the intention to hurt the other. We just don't throw stones / try to lash out.
Many of the questions that the men of Reddit asked had to do with women’s anatomies, periods, and relationship dynamics. These are questions that would be difficult to ask someone in person, unless they’re a very close and trusted friend.
Unfortunately, this ignorance about how women’s bodies work has profound negative effects on a global scale. Fortune notes that the gender health gap exists because the trials for drugs and medicine are mostly conducted on men. This leads to the overprescription of medicine to women which in turn has negative effects on their health.
“To this day, we don’t truly know how women metabolize and react to many medicines, why some adverse reactions are more common in women, nor how women experience or manifest pain. The efficacy, dosage, and side effects of many drugs were never tested on women,” Fortune writes.
On an individual level, there is nothing wrong with admitting that you might not know everything there is to know about women. Being humble, open-minded, and open to learning new things should be celebrated, not frowned upon. The women of Reddit answered the men’s questions without judging them for their knowledge gaps. If you shame someone for their ignorance, you only make them defensive, not keener to learn and improve.
#16
QUESTION: As a single dad to an 11 year old daughter, what are some things I need to be knowledgeable of as she matures? ANSWER 1: First I want to say that by you commenting on here and asking for advice your already doing GREAT!! But I would say How periods actually work, what products to use and when as well as just being there to openly communicate with. I know its hard but as someone with parents who never talked to her about things like this, I would've loved to have a parent like you. Best of luck to you! Also I know this is random but as she gets older just remember its easier and better to have the condom/birth control talk rather than the "Dad I'm pregnant" talk - irrevocably_an_olive ANSWER 2: Always knock on her door and wait for her to grant access before opening the door!!! Such awkward moments can be avoided with a little respect for privacy. - missvvvv
Billie Templeton 2 years ago
You'll probably want to take her to a store that does bra fittings once she starts developing. Just Google who does bra fittings.
memyselfandI 2 years ago
Also start with training bras, it may be that she never really has to move out of that style and can just switch straight to comfort bras. Don’t do underwire unless you absolutely have to, which will be next to never.
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No Name 2 years ago (edited)
Speaking from personal experience, if she tells you her periods are so painful that they make her unable to stand up straight, make her feel like passing out, give her diarrhea or vomiting, or send her home from school crying most months, take her to a doctor. Don't just tell her "you can't keep doing this" as if she can fix it herself or, worse, suggest she's faking it. And if the doctor suggests she's faking it or overreacting, get her to one that doesn't do medical gaslighting. Periods aren't *supposed* to be debilitating, but they very frequently are (clinically painful periods are thought to affect 2/3 of teen girls, and endometriosis alone affects an estimated 10% of all menstruating women). They go untreated because men are socialized not to take women's pain seriously and many older women mostly learned to cope untreated lest they be unable to compete, so they think it's normal or deserved for their juniors. Normalize getting help when you can't function while self-eviscerating.
jolie laide 2 years ago
As someone with endo, I couldn't agree more. My Mom had it too, from her first period at age 10, they were horrifically debilitating. My first, I was 13 but had many years of pain free periods before mine progressed and got worse. I was just a late endo bloomer, turns out. To this day though, sadly, there really aren't that many treatments or drugs that helps without a ton of doctor push back or side effects. It'll be a life long struggle/battle, and I couldn't agree more that a girl needs her Dad to step up.
Load More Replies... Susie Elle 2 years ago
Also don't be awkward around her changing body. She'll develop hips and breasts, it's what comes with the package of puberty. Offer to take her bra fitting at a store and just be her dad. It can feel incredibly lonely having no-one around to just be there with you, even if there's nothing you can actually assist with. Make her feel safe, which includes her being able to talk to you.
jolie laide 2 years ago
Yes, and also, I'm sure a lot of people will probably down vote me for saying this, but try your hardest to be a GOOD role model as a male (the Dad). I know there's a lot of jokes and stigma, at least there used to be, about girls wanting guys who were "like their Dad", but that just means Dad was a good role model. I think a lot of people, men and women, miss the boat on this one sooooo much.
Load More Replies... Beck 2 years ago
Do not think things like "tampons make you unpure" and weird stuff like that. Make her feel supported and comfortable. Buy her tampons snd pads and let her decide what she needs. Do not freak out snd put your fingers in your ears if she mentions birth control in a few years. Just got with the flow🤣and let her dictate her needs at the time. Be a good listener. It may help if you have a female adult friend that she can go to until she feels comfortable talking to you. But him just asking this question makes me feel like he will do a good job.
jolie laide 2 years ago
All of this, yes, and above all else, whether single parent, double parent, male or female, if you tell your kids, "You can tell me/talk to me about ANYTHING!" you need to MEAN IT. If the minute your kid tells you something, you fly off the rails and impose judgments and/or punishments, your kid is going to clam up and tell you nothing, ever again. Back up your words, with actions. Listen long, speak little, and think hard.
Load More Replies... Sarah SH 2 years ago
Maybe this doesn’t sound as nice, because I really appreciate single dads, but see to it (as best as possible) she can have a woman in her life somewhere she can ask questions to or confide in. Aunt, Grandma, Friend, etc. (But dad’s girlfriend not the best idea). No matter how open and accepting a dad can be, there are some things she might just not want to come to him about.
CammyCat 2 years ago
The fact this questions was asked shows this Dad us already on the right path. Honestly, I would make an appointment with a female physician, and ask them all ur questions. That way when ur daughter is ready, u will have the information already, to b able to share and know how to b there for her. Plus, u will already have a great Dr for her to see
Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago
And if you’re completely clueless, Dad, ask a trusted woman friend to explain it to you. If either you, or your daughter, are uncomfortable discussing it with someone of the opposite gender, then ask that trusted woman friend if she wouldn’t mind a private one-on-one with your daughter. There’s no shame in that. Adolescent girls can get embarrassed talking about it with their fathers, or anyone other than another woman, as long as she broaches the subject with compassion and facts—-NO shaming, and NO old wives tales. Best of all, that trusted women friend won’t mind at all helping a young novice woman with womanly stuff like that.
Whatever 2 years ago
If she tells you a guy is "creepy", "icky", "I don't like him", etc.? LISTEN. Women (and little girls) have a special radar for men who are sexually inappropriate and it's rarely wrong. We often can't tell you what's wrong with the guy or what we are detecting. That doesn't mean there's nothing there. If she doesn't like a guy she needs to be protected from him. He may look perfectly OK to you, but please listen.
#17
QUESTION: I know this is going to seem weird but how do you guys control your pee stream? It’s easy as a guy but I’m not too sure it would be for a woman? Idk it’s a stupid question but i would be happy if I got an answer
ANSWER 1: Direction? No. Flow speed? Yes.
- MooshAro
ANSWER 2: One of the times I had to pee outside, I did the 'pre pee' to make sure I was angled right and all seemed fine. I upped the flow speed, the angle changed massively, and it was like a broken sprinkler. Thankfully, my shoes were waterproof.
- EmmaHatesTheBull**it
ANSWER 3:I think it’s the same pelvic floor muscles that men have. When you contract/relax your muscles to regulate your pee, it’s at the base, right? As in, you cut the flow off at the faucet, not at the end of the hose. Women just have a faucet, but no hose. You, too, can do Kegels to strengthen those muscles.
- ObliviousDirt
Parmeisan 2 years ago
I hate when you have to pee into a cup for medical reasons. "Pre-pee" is just what you have to do, but there's no control and it's so hard not to get any on the outside of the cup. :(
Load More Replies... Beck 2 years ago
My husband wonders why I use so much tp after peeing. It kinda..does uts own thing. Wow. A lot of info. Sorry.
Auntriarch 2 years ago
I told mine he needn't brag about using one sheet of paper to wipe the dew off his lily until he's tried to dry a lettuce
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jolie laide 2 years ago
Even with Kegels, my pee is all over the place unless I've built up enough of it that I can just power-jet it out, even then, at the end, it just runs and drips and it's everywhere on my a*s cheeks, etc. Trying to pee in the wilderness is hilarious, if I'm out hiking or camping. I just find a fallen log, hang my a*s over the back, and pee away. By the way, if you don't do even THAT correctly or if you've waited too long and are too backed up, or you use too much power to pee, guess what? It'll "fountain" up the front! Ask me how I know.
RafCo (he/him/ele) 2 years ago
No, I thought this was my genius innovation that I discovered for my kids. Pee over the log. I wrote a whole thing about it just now. Basically, I mansplained how women should pee. Deleting post now
Load More Replies... Jill Bussey 2 years ago
Just as an aside, the flow changes if you "mow the lawn," shave, depilate, etc. The hairs can act as a guide and they are not always helpful!
That emo Girl 2 years ago (edited)
Sometimes when I get there quick enough I can control my pïss but if I'm in a lesson I need to wait like an hour (fück you school rules, holding pïss in for too long is dangerous) then it comes out in a massive, uncontrollably loud stream. Edit: WHY THE HELL ARE PEOPLE REPORTING ME FOR THIS?
Heather Talma 2 years ago
I was just thinking "it doesn't matter because the bowl fully encompasses every direction the pee could possibly go".
#18
QUESTION: Do all ladies use tons of toilet paper or is it just the women ive dated?
ANSWER: Considering we’d need them for both pee, poop, and during periods, then yes
- carissadraws
StumblingThroughLife 2 years ago
My son uses half a roll in one sitting (and spends ages in the loo), so he uses much more than I do, lol.
Dr 2 years ago
You know what fluid he needs toilet paper to soak up, then.
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Izzy Curer 2 years ago
I use one roll during the whole month, and then another roll for the one week I'm on my period.
Kitty 🥀 2 years ago
This sounds about right. 😂 Definitely one full roll in that one week.
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Anna Drever 2 years ago
My husband doesn’t understand why we go through so much more than men but basically we have more surface area to cover, if that makes sense.
Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
Add up how many times per day you pee. We need TP for all of them. You don't.
Kiki Müller 2 years ago
When I moved in with my fiancé he was surprised to learn that women use toilet paper when peeing. Hes 39. And a mediacal doctor in the hospital.
robin aldrich 2 years ago
I have actually been criticized by significant other about the amount of TP I used.... I literally laughed in his face
Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago
Well, if you don’t have the option to just shake off that drop of pee at the end of your penis, then yes, you’re going to have to use more toilet paper. Add to that the fact that some of us have plumbing that’s tilted, so our pee can sometimes follow a path that’s not straight down. Lastly, sometimes we just end up with splash back that needs to be dried off.
Doodles1983 2 years ago
Our plumbing. We cannot just shake. Plus other anatomy can cause all kinds of pee directional flow issues and drips. We are closer to the water too and splashing can be an issue. We tend to worry more about hygiene and ensuring pleasant environs for “encounters” so I’ve been known to mini bathe. Poops can vary with our monthly cycle, it’s not just about the red tide. We retain water that is expelled from bottoms. I also prefer cleaning my nose in private so use tp instead of face tissues for convenience, usually multitasking.
Besides the fear of being judged, another thing that could explain these men’s knowledge gaps is sub-standard sex education at school and at home. It falls to teenagers’ teachers and parents to dispel any myths about reproduction, anatomy, and relationships.
If they fail to do that, the students will simply absorb any and all hearsay on these topics, whether they hear it in person or read about it on some weird internet forum. It’s best to tackle these topics in the classroom, without stigma or judgment. The long and short of it is that sex ed lessons need to be better: they need to be relatable and informative, not just detached and scientific.
One woman anonymously shared how sex education works in her country during an earlier interview with Bored Panda.
"They called away all the girls from classes, brought us to an auditorium to discuss periods and what they are, why they happen, what we should do. They gave us packets of pads and told us to keep them in our lockers for emergencies. Their heart was in the right place, but by only asking the girls to attend this, they ensured that periods became some sort of mythical and curious event in the minds of all the boys," she told us.
#19
QUESTION: Why is it when we blush it's cute? ANSWER 1: Because it indicates a capacity for strong feelings and someone who responds/reacts with healthy emotion. - Mumique ANSWER 2: Because it is a nice to see a man showing emotion of any kind - Lalalelo94
BravePanda 2 years ago
Model consent. "Your hair is tangled, may I brush it?" is the expectation you want to model, not "sit down, I am going to deal with your hair." Help build her voice to listen and expect physical autonomy and to provide consent.
memyselfandI 2 years ago
Very true, was this meant to be a comment on a different one though?
Load More Replies... jolie laide 2 years ago
I'll be totally honest here. 1.) It's because when you blush, it makes you more attractive in my eyes, physically because 2.) It means I can see your reactions on your face. You can control your facial muscles, but you can't control a blush, so if I say or do something and you blush, I can pound my chest like Jane and say, "I DID THAT!" Cheesy? Yes. Satisfying? Ooooh yes. Trying to drag reactions out of men sometimes is like trying to pull teeth, so to see a man who blushes readily, it's... intoxicating, heady, addicting. I love it. I will work for those blushes. I will experiment, and we will both have an amazing time.
CammyCat 2 years ago
For so many generations, men have been taught to not show any emotion. So a man blushing is way for us to know what he's feeling.
Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago
Well, sometimes those of us who blush will blush beet red, which isn’t as cute, though the fact that we blush at all is a pretty rare sight these days.
Pumpkin Spice 2 years ago
it's because i have pride in my ability to turn even the most stereotypically masculine dudes into whimpering little subs
#20
QUESTION: How did you deal with going from looking like a child to getting sexual attention in a rather short period of time? Did you expect it?
ANSWER 1: I first was sexually harassed by strangers at 12 years old, before I knew anything about it. I was a child, and looked it. I don't mean to be a 'negative Nancy,' but it's very prevalent, and almost everyone I've talked to has a similar story. Sometimes even younger.
- LemonBoi523
ANSWER 2: Girls receive sexual attention before they understand what it is. We have to catch up mentally to what is happening. When you're too young to understand, it can feel nice to get attention, especially as boys tend to get more attention at school up to that point. But as you learn to understand why you're getting the attention, what those men actually want, and how little you could do to stop them if they decide to just take action, it becomes frightening.
- Alex9Andy
ANSWER 3: The second I turned 18, I had several guys in their late 20s trying to hook up. There is no mental switch that happens between 11:59 and 12:00 on your birthday, and it was really hard to process the fact that it wasn’t a pedophilic situation because in my head, I honestly still felt 14. I wish 18 wasn’t viewed as completely fair game for everyone.
- maddies12
Aria Whitaker 2 years ago
Seriously. I mean, they are STILL literally teenagers!
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Tracy Wallick 2 years ago
Many of us get sexual attention while we still look like children; ask the women in your life how old they were the first time they got sexual attention, you will NOT like the answer. (I started getting sexually harassed by grown men when I was 12, and I very clearly looked 12)
Beck 2 years ago (edited)
I started my period at 9 and very definitely had to have a bra at 10. I was not fat or chunky but kinda..full. Curvy...so I looked about 15. Hated it.
Load More Replies... Mrs. EW 2 years ago (edited)
I matured fast. By age 11-12 I looked around 18 or so. The attention was overwhelming from older men. I didn’t like it. My dad told me a story from when we had gone camping on vacation. I was 11. I was swimming and using the diving board and he was playing pool with some guys at the campground. Someone had made a comment about how good I looked. My dad looked him straight in the eye and said, “That’s my daughter. She’s 11. So you better get those thoughts out of your head before I beat them out of you.”
Kirsten Kerkhof 2 years ago
The first time I really noticed was when I was about 11. I had no curves, but it still happened. In retrospect: having to swear a bikini top at age 2 when my brothers just wore the swimming trumks and no top. Because a female toddler has boobies???
Epona 2 years ago
I know you meant to say "wear a bikini top" but as someone who has never worn or plans to ever wear a bikini top, I giggled at the idea of swearing at a bikini top.
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Amanda Cruz 2 years ago
My poor daughter for boobs at 9 and now at 13 she's headed to DDD. We're teaching her good vs bad attention. But it is disturbing to see grown men look at her
Alicia M 2 years ago (edited)
I had two good friends when I was little who developed very young. Had one friend started her period at 8, and had large breasts by the time she was in second grade. Another friend developed early, but not as early. I remembered the disgusting looks from men and all the comments. Even boys we went to school with have made comments since becoming men that they all had crushes on the girls who developed the earliest and wanted to date them.
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Peryton 2 years ago
I was never hit on more by adult men than I was at 14. Men on the bus, construction workers, men at my after school art class, customers at my job, coworkers, asking me if I am a virgin or if I want to come spend time with them at their getaway, etc. Constant. I'm so glad I'm 30 and now I might as well be a carcass to guys lol
Upstaged75 2 years ago
I used to tape my breasts down in grade school because I was so embarrassed by the teasing from boys. It's brutal to hit puberty earlier than the rest of the girls!
OmBoyGanesh 2 years ago
Society historically & continually reinforces the sexualization of girls when they’re still in-utero and it’s gross. What I mean by this is we use dog whistle terms that seem innocuous but depend on their future sexuality. We do it with boys, too, but to a lesser extent. “She’s going to break hearts” is pretty close to saying many guys will lust after her when she’s older. “He’s a looker” means he’ll score big time. Once he’s an adult. The actions spoken of are in the future, but the actual comments are made during childhood. Gross!
Vira 2 years ago (edited)
On a related note: it's not just sexual attention, but sexual projection. Suddenly, and randomly, people start accusing young girls of being sexually provocative, or active. Girls can go from being allowed outside to play with friends to bring isolated in their homes, yelled at for talking to new people, refused attendance at pool parties, screamed at for wearing clothing they wore last summer without issue, or refused access to Co Ed events. Refusal to allow a girl to be in a sport because of the clothing. It can be as young as 8. You just wake up, and you're suddenly this sex object, and the world is closed to you.
#21
QUESTION: Is it true a woman actually keeps at least two pairs of granny panties? I was told every woman at least does
ANSWER: I know I have some older ugly underwear for shark week. They aren't tight on your bloated stomach and if they get stained it doesn't matter
- Nouveaucola
Batgirl Kitty 2 years ago
Whats with the frown? There’s nothing wrong with having only those!
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censorshipsucks 2 years ago
Oh s**t I just got it. It's the same as "aunt Flo is in town". Goooot ittt. god I am stupid.
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censorshipsucks 2 years ago
As a gentleman person I'd like to put in a boy's hint here. Not all of us like the lacy stuff. In fact personally I really dislike it. Plain is better. Especially sports designs (not stripper designs). Practical and simple.
Min 2 years ago
I have no idea why that got downvoted. Have an upvote to cancel it out.
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Upstaged75 2 years ago
Nope. Can't stand them. Every single pair of mine are the same brand and size in the "hipster" style. I'm so short waisted that I'd have granny panties up to my bra if I wore them. :)
Izzy Curer 2 years ago (edited)
I own no panties. The elastic cuts into my fat thighs and I don't use pads.
"[The boys] were not educated, they remained ignorant to what should be essential information to them. And of course, we all scrambled to hide our pads because we all thought we would rather be caught dead than holding a packet of them. They teased us about it and we, being only 11, had nothing to say to defend ourselves because the stigma around periods is very strong in my country."
In some cultures, there are incredibly deep stigmas surrounding periods. "I have friends whose own parents make them sit on mats on the floor when they are on their periods because they are considered impure and should not touch anything in the house," the woman told us earlier.
"Some women aren't allowed to enter the kitchen or the prayer room, they're not allowed to leave the house. A majority of women in my country have no access to pads or tampons and use cloth which causes infection and prevents them from being able to earn a living. I could go on and on about how bad it is here for a lot of women," she said.
"There's no shame in it if you're 30 and have misconceptions about periods. It is sad that you may not have educated yourself about it, but there's absolutely no shame in asking women to educate them or to start reading online themselves. Sex ed is so important.”
#22
QUESTION: Do you randomly get sexually aroused in public for no reason at all like men? And if so, does it die down quickly?
ANSWER 1: Yes to random arousal. It depends on the situation for how fast it dies down. Sometimes, I get randomly horny at work and then just sit there and fantasize about raunchy things. It takes longer to die down that way.
- biwaterbender
ANSWER 2: It's not an issue because we don't get erections, but it's a bit awkward when my p*ssy has a heartbeat. Our genitalia can get swollen when we're really aroused, so there is more blood down there, just like more blood in an erect penis. And it throbs, like a heartbeat.
- -acidlean-
JuJu 2 years ago
Yes to the text and WTF to the pic (has she put joint filler around her lips?)
Icecream Sarang 2 years ago
Oh, gawsh, yes. Especially before and during ovulation. Being bisexual, EVERY MAN AND WOMAN LOOKS SO HOT and I’m like, chill the frack out, body!
jolie laide 2 years ago
Yeah the incessant throbbing is really annoying. I get it sometimes when on my period, so I'm not aroused or turned on at ALL, yet I throb, and if I mistakenly try to take care of the problem, I quickly learn that that headache isn't arousal and just another symptom to drive me nuts.
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Snow_White 2 years ago
It's similar thing as 'blue balls' if that happens. For women it takes about 2-3 hours to go back to normal.
meow point1 2 years ago
I get randomly aroused, but being ace, I don't have the finding people hot/thinking of raunchy things. Just the physical sensations.
Upstaged75 2 years ago
Yeah, I think I'm just getting old and dried up because not much does it for me anymore. ;)
Load More Replies... jolie laide 2 years ago
I'm probably an odd one, but I don't feel randomly turned on, what I feel is what I call an "ignition", like on your furnace. I'm primed but not horny, thinking naughty thoughts, but not really feeling aroused yet, so to speak (physically). It's like being in "ready and waiting" mode, until I decide to act on it myself, or make an invitation to someone to join me. The older I get though, the more asexual I feel, but I do still recognize the "ignition". I can choose to ignore it, and it goes away fairly quickly. If I engage it, ehhh... it depends. It can burn out quick, or it can last for awhile.
#23
QUESTION: The good Ole classic question. Does size matter?
ANSWER 1: Yes. Too big is a letdown for me. Eliminates more than half of positions, intensity, and how hard I can go. That being said, I would not break up with a wonderful man just because of his d*ck size.
- tcatt1212
ANSWER 2: No. Different strokes for different folks. The right size is the one where both of you have the best sex.
- Additional-Winner-45
Susie Elle 2 years ago
Too big is painful and unpleasant. You hit my cervix and it's awful. I'd rather work with a smaller penis than a large one, to be fair.
Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
Agree. I like my cervix where it is, and don't want it in my throat.
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Gabby Ghoul 2 years ago
My friends and I used to joke that there are only three sizes: 1) Is it in? 2) feels good 3) get away from me with that thing!
Phoenix the Frog 2 years ago
My guy friend showed us with a banana showing the size's and said "This is average, This is above average, this is very well endowed, and my f*****g god cut some off to give to the homeless people"
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Dynein 2 years ago
Quite apart from individual preferences, you've got to remember that women aren't all the same size "down there", either.... the exact "fit" is going to depend on the specific woman.
Samara Messer 2 years ago
I dated a guy in my mid-20s who didn't get this. He got so mad that he couldn't go "all in" with me and acted like I was doing something wrong or there was something defective with my body. I explained that my vagina is shorter than his d*ck but he refused to believe it. Needless to say, I am glad to be long gone from that jerk.
Load More Replies... No Name 2 years ago
Sorta, but not the way you think. Women's hoohas have different depths and stretch tolerances. Most women's idea of bad sex is painful sex; a too-small shaft may be less satisfying, but a too-big one hurts, so if you're not average you may actually be better off being a bit small. All that said, size usually isn't a dealbreaker by itself because the VJ has some adaptive capability.
David 2 years ago
Also depends on the size of the woman. There is a very old (semi raunchy) navy joke where a sailor is trying to get laid in Japan and his friends tell him to say the phrase, "Ichiban.. (i forget the rest in Japanese)". So he tries it a few times, works every time. He finally asks them, what does it mean? "Number One sub sailor. Plenty money, small D". . Lame joke but the point being some countries tend to have smaller women who prefer a more modest size to a baseball bat. In my experience though, attention / caring / effort are a lot more important than size.
jolie laide 2 years ago
This reminds me of something similar, where some men prefer tiny, petite women because they're "smaller and tighter" for their supposedly "smaller penis". I think men miss so much, when focusing on their size, or our size, etc. For example, I can't be the only woman who loves hot, raunchy foreplay, or being playful and laughing, teasing, or enjoying feeling a man's weight on top of me. Especially after, the feeling of the weight just soothes me like nothing else, I swear. I can breathe just fine, and love the hell out of it.
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Sanchi 2 years ago
…I’m 13 and thought it was talking about height, now the last shred of innocence is gone
jolie laide 2 years ago
I know this site sometimes might seem like a real eye opener, and it is, even to people decades older than you are! But I'm a firm believer that young people/kids aren't stupid. The more you know, especially when it comes to reading like this, the better it can serve you as you get older. The one thing in life that always throws people, is when something blindsides them, so they're left clueless in that moment or for however long. Just use these things you read and learn, to think on, to keep in the back of your mind, to maybe help you when you get older. If threads like this make you uncomfortable, I do apologize even if it's not my fault, but again... keep it in mind. Learning is always a good thing, whether you use it tomorrow, 10, 30 years from now, or never. xx
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Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago
Have you ever heard the old saying “It’s not the size of the ship that counts, it’s the motion of the ocean”? What it means is that size doesn’t matter, except for too big being really painful. It’s knowing what to do with it that will pleasure a woman—-do not, ABSOLUTELY DO NOT, get this info from porn or your bros, as those are the worst sources of information about what women like, but ASK the woman you’re with, and I mean from the very first time you’re making love. Most of us will be just tickled pink to finally be asked, and she will be very happy to guide you until you get more familiar with what she likes! However, if she gets all pissy about it, then you may need to rethink the relationship as a whole.
#24
QUESTION: Do your guys' backs actually hurt if you have big... you know.
ANSWER: Mine does. Went from a C cup to an F cup in 6 months (on hormones for a gynecological condition). My back is so sore now! Properly fitting bras help a lot though.
- RobotEarsStandBy
OmBoyGanesh 2 years ago
Which speaks of a “dialogue” issue. If we can’t openly speak to anatomy with legitimacy, dancing around with innuendo, we’ve got a communication error and don’t have open discourse.
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Brenda Hart 2 years ago
I describe the big boob situation as having a medium sized dog strapped to your chest. Strains your back.
DuchessDegu 2 years ago
Back, neck, shoulders. Everything fluffin hurts with big boobs. I hate it.
Mia Black 2 years ago
Absolutely...I can not remember the feeling of a painless, working back.... I'm always stiff and always an underlying pain... And my breasts are just one or two cups bigger than it should be with my bmi and height. Running or jumping is pure agony. Sleeping sideways totally annoying because of the feeling from kind of heavy, always-in-movement-wobbly boobs ... I use a pillow between them or on my chest, with my arms under to give me space to breath... Not good for the neck I think...
Travis Fox 2 years ago
Three women in my family (that I'm aware of) have had reductions done due to back issues from carrying around too much weight in breast tissue. It might be more common than we think.
Mia Black 2 years ago
I was denied a breast reduction when I asked about it when I was between the ages of seventeen and twenty-three...too young was the statement...now I feel too old for it because I now sleep on my stomach, don't heal as well and the back already seems to be broken... and I don't have time for it either
Load More Replies... David 2 years ago
I'm male but in my 60s so have had quite a few frank conversations with women over the years. Among those of my lovers / friends who had large breasts, every one of them have said it gives them back pain. One of my quite large friends lost most of hers due to breast cancer and multiple surgeries. tragic due to the health issues but one miner up side is it helped with the back pain.
Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago
More my neck and shoulders than my lower back. I also have those grooves in my shoulders from decades of wearing bras that have had to support the weight.
#25
QUESTION: Do you have "crushes" on random people you encounter that you don't really see anything developing with? Like someone you see every day but don't really talk to for whatever reason?
I don't mean in a creepy way, I mean, like, "my barista is insanely hot and I fantasize about him even though absolutely nothing is going to happen because of [several very important reasons]."
I assume this happens but have always wondered if it's more common with men.
ANSWER 1: Absolutely! This happened to me back in college when I developed a crush on a classmate and daydreamed of dating him. I also have friends who randomly call me about encounters with attractive strangers.
- azuari
ANSWER 2: There's an older handsome guy in my neighborhood who rides a motorcycle. I do not know him; I know nothing about him. I sometimes find myself saying, 'Hi daddy,' when he rides by. That's not even something I say! One day, he had a lady on the back of his bike and I thought, Who's this bitch? I'm not a jealous person at all. I don't know where this impulse came from.
- KikiHou
Kirsten Kerkhof 2 years ago
I teach in college and sometimes have a mild crush on one of my older students. Totally not allowed or going to do anything about it, but it makes me look forward to the class. What can I say? I like men and I teach at a technical college, and some guys are just good-looking.
CrunChewy McSandybutt 2 years ago
I get crushes on pretty much all of my friends at some point. I know they are just flights of fantasy, and they will simmer down, so it doesn't affect how I treat them.
Izzy Curer 2 years ago (edited)
The guy at my local post office is insanely beautiful. I have to remember not to blurt out, "Thanks, beautiful man" whenever I bring in my packages. Not exactly a crush, but I just want to stare at the guy. Built like a f*****g god.
OmBoyGanesh 2 years ago
“Fantasy | Reality” - knowing what & when can cross that line is a basis of sanity. Women tend to regulate this better than men. Meaning, they also regulate overt expression of fantasy to others. Society & media have opted to not pick up on this with women and run with it they way it’s done with men. Which is a problem. There were THREE “Porky’s” films. Ugh!
Princess Mar-li Cathryn 2 years ago
I'm a preschool teacher and one of the dads is so insanely hot, like it should be illegal for a man to look like this. On top of that, he might be the nicest person on earth; he gave Christmas gifts to all of the teachers, not just his daughter's. He's happily married and even if he weren't, I would never date a parent of one of the kids at my school, but Oh. My. God...
ShaZam Beaubien 2 years ago
Oh, I can totally do that with a celebrity crush. You know you'll never meet them ... might not want to ... be the fantasy is fantastic!
Mikkilea Blinke 2 years ago
Occasionally I assume so. I know I did in high school and then he finally made a move out of nowhere. 13 years going strong and couldn't have asked for better.
jolie laide 2 years ago
Crushes for myself... not really, I'm weird like that. More like, I see someone and get sruck my lightening because they'd be a perfect character in a story I'm writing, or want to write or will write, or might not ever write. Crushes are groovy.
Lee Banks 2 years ago
just celebrated one year with a I spent four years randomly passing by on the street. I'd always thought he looked interesting, and apparently he felt the same. We didn't actually speak, until I was hammered, and no place to crash. He offered me his couch. I yelled to the bartenders "Is this guy safe?" Resounding Yes. Moved in three months later.
#26
QUESTION: How uncomfortable is it to wear a tampon? How do you know when you have to change it? Do you get some internal sensation that lets you know when it's time to replace it? Do you time it? How do you know?
ANSWER 1: "If you feel a tampon after insertion, something is wrong. The rest is trial and error, but you can't wear a tampon longer than eight hours. Most of my friends make that six hours or less to be safe."
- whatevernamedontcare
ANSWER 2: "It's only uncomfortable if it's dry; you can tell it's time to change a tampon by how squishy it feels inside. Sometimes we get it wrong. I've thought I needed to change my tampon before, but when I went to tug on the strings it hurt because it was too dry still, so you leave it."
- ItsCatwoman
ANSWER 3: "You also tend to change it if it's leaking or when you poop."
- spasamsd
Stardust she/her 2 years ago
As a girl, I also wanted to know the answer to these questions. I use pads because I’m too scared to put a tampon or a cup in and it gives me this weird sensation each time I think of it that makes me shudder
Dr 2 years ago
It takes a while to get comfortable with doing it, but with practice it does get easier and easier. Tampons will be a lot easier than cups. Cups are quite 'advanced level' and taking them out is the hardest bit of all.
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Huddo's sister 2 years ago
It also can hurt if you haven't inserted it far enough, which is a common problem the first time you try using tampons.
Paul Robinson 2 years ago
No offense ladies, but I'm glad I'm a guy when it comes to periods. I've known women who have to basically isolate themselves for a few days due to Aunt Flo.
Natalie Bohrteller 2 years ago
Yes, it slightly hurts when too dry. As far as I'm concerned, I can feel bubbles of air coming out before it starts to leak, so that's when I know it's time to change within the next 20 minutes. I find that very convenient. Also sometimes I wear it longer than 8 hours, mostly during the night.
Upstaged75 2 years ago
You can just tell when it starts to leak. (I HATE that feeling! Drip, drip, drip...) Otherwise you shouldn't notice it.
AK to LV 2 years ago
Same here. I never was able to not pee on the string and not for lack of trying.
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ZombieRedfox 2 years ago
I have never liked using tampons. For some reason they just felt uncomfortable. Pads aren't any better, especially if you have a heavy flow, but at least I don't have that weird feeling thing in my vagina LOL TMI?
Vira 2 years ago
My step mother has a "banana uterus." And can't conceive, or wear tampons. Tampons suck. They aren't workable for everyone.
Load More Replies... #27
QUESTION: ...what do u guys think about curved d***s....im kinda insecure and want to know if it's a turn off or not...? ANSWER: Honestly it might look different at first but a curved penis hits spots that uncurved cannot. Which can be a wonderful thing. - diabolicsoap393
Shane S 2 years ago
Gay male here and I can confirm they are not all curved.
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WA2DK 2 years ago
F*** that. Like, literally....... doesn't matter if it's curved or not and certainly not something you need to feel insecure about. We ALL have body-"issues", some are worried their labia minora are too big, some are worried their boobs aren't symmetrical etc. but at the end of the day it's usually a bigger concern for the "carrier" than the person they're about to be intimate with.
#28
QUESTION: Do women really notice everything? I remember the things that me and my father never used to notice, my mom used to notice. Also do women have some kind of superpower to differentiate colours? ANSWER 1: Trust a woman when she says colors don’t match. We have significantly more cones (the cells that detect color) than rods (cells that detect light/dark) than men do. Men are naturally better are seeing in the dark than women. - lovelabradors373 ANSWER 2: women are socialized to notice everything. we're supposed to have super powers and read moods and make sure everybody is doing okay, notice any little change in mood so that we can comfort it. we're supposed to notice as soon as the glass is empty so we can refill it... therefore, we are hyper aware of every time you take a sip. It's really quite annoying being the person who notices things. I've definitely left relationships because of it.. not because I was noticing, but because they took advantage of it. Rather than doing the extra work to give 50%, they would just say that I noticed it naturally anyway so I might as well take care of those things. - anonymous
ispeak catanese 2 years ago
We also have a better sense of smell. One day, my female coworkers and I smelled gas while the maintenance men could not. And since they did not, nothing was done about it. 😷
RomanceRadish 2 years ago (edited)
That's dangerous! It's sickening they didn't believe her. (Also- there are detectors available for this purpose.)
Load More Replies... Tracy Wallick 2 years ago
We are also hyper-aware of situations we're in since, unfortunately, we have to be on constant guard against sexual harassment, assault, etc.
RafCo (he/him/ele) 2 years ago
Growing up in a high conflict area will do that for you too. I know where and what everybody is doing in any room I'm in. I know where the exits are, and who's most likely to start violence. It was a handy trick in the military, and after when i worked in a war zone or high crime areas. It's less useful at Aldi's when you're always in that alert mode.
Load More Replies... Adam Zad 2 years ago
Women are genetically capable of noticing individual molecules of dirt. Men, on the other hand, cannot see them until they gather together in groups large enough to support a commercial agriculture.
Marvin HoG 2 years ago
So it does make sense that I started gathering all the junk he leaves lying around in to one pile in his mancave so that eventually he'll notice it. Or it'll just keep piling up but whatever it'll be behind the mandoor
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Mikkilea Blinke 2 years ago
women are some of the best detectives we just don't get paid for it.
Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
Answer 1...I can't see at all in low light, but I can tell the difference between salmon and peach.
ShaZam Beaubien 2 years ago
Yeah, we're socialized to notice everything ... then we take that information and make snarky remarks
Celtic Pirate Queen 2 years ago (edited)
Since we have a uterus, we also know where you left your car keys, where the peanut butter went and how full the gas tank is. My husband is constantly looking for something (usually of HIS) and asks me where it is. It's in XYZ, bottomleft cupboard on the right side. No it's not, I already looked. "Did you LOOK, look or did you MAN look?" Sure enough, I'll go in and it is exactly where I said it was. "Well, you didn't say it was BEHIND the XYZ." It's a cupboard, numb nuts, of course things are in front of others. 15 years and we still have this discussion. Also - colors. 5% of the population is color blind and they are almost all men.
Hakitosama 2 years ago
Same with multi-tasking being easier for women. It's bogus. We are teached to do that from a very young age that's all
#29
QUESTION: When using bathroom and you see your pad is slightly soiled, does it feel awkward having to put it back against you body? ANSWER 1: Yes. You also suddenly feel hyper aware of the wet, soggy feeling of expelled blood being pushed back up against your bits. - Lalalelo94 ANSWER 2: If it's a longer trip to the bathroom, everything is cold and wet when you pull up your pants. One of my least favorite sensations. I typically wipe at the pad with a piece of toilet paper before pulling my pants back up to help prevent this from happening. - SpookySeraph
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
Long time since I used a pad other than a liner so I don't remember exactly what it felt like except that it was uncomfortable when you felt it was soggy and weren't sure if it was leaking out. Using tampons and then later a menstrual cup was such a game changer because I can just put it in and almost forget about it until it is full. In fact when the flow is less, I do forget about the cup a lot.
Sunshine Lady 2 years ago
Same here. I can't imagine what life was before the cup.
Load More Replies... My O My 2 years ago
Same goes for panties when they are "damp" because we got wet. I hate that
Upstaged75 2 years ago
Seriously! I'm going through perimenopause right now and I constantly sweat like I'm in the middle of a steamy tropical rainforest. :) Having sweaty underwear is SO gross. I use a lot of powder but there's not much else I can do about it. :(
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Anna Drever 2 years ago
Just like answer number 2 I would blot my pad before it came back into contact with me. Because just ew. 😬
Leesa DeAndrea 2 years ago
I used to line the pad with a few sheets of toilet paper just make it feel dry again. I'm past all that now, yay!
Celtic Pirate Queen 2 years ago
Um, so ya'll don't keep extra pads/liners in your purse? If my pad was "soggy", it's not only time for a new pad, but a new tampon as well. (Heavy bleeder, I always doubled up just to be safe).
#30
QUESTION: When a bulge is visible through shorts or sweatpants, do women find that attractive or disgusting? ANSWER: Depends, if it’s my boyfriend I find it attractive, if it’s random men on the street or on tiktok then I find it cringey and gross - KillMeNow0913
Dynein 2 years ago
I'd say that, as a general rule, anything with sexual undertones is attractive on someone you're into, and creepy and cringey on someone you're not into.
A. Starhawk Hunt 2 years ago
But I have to say this - if you see it in the street with anyone other than yourself around - what makes you think it’s for you? He could be waving his flag for that cute guy behind you. And, how did you come to notice this? Made you look! BTW 59F
Load More Replies... Icecream Sarang 2 years ago (edited)
You know, as someone with large breasts and nipples, I understand your body does things without your conscious permission. I don’t hold it against you, nor will I stare at you lewdly. Now, if you try to drag my attention to it…gross.
jolie laide 2 years ago
Yeah, I struggle with not looking. I don't mean it to be rude or anything, and I'll always try and do it when I know you're NOT looking at me, but it's hard. If I stare, it's because I find something pleasing or interesting, etc. I never mean to come off as a creep.
Load More Replies... ShaZam Beaubien 2 years ago
Honestly, I rather see a bulge than have someone's balls seen below shorts. I saw that when I was 14 and it scarred me for a lifetime ... YUCK
#31
QUESTION: How do girls with those long acrylic nails wipe themselves clean in the bathroom? ANSWER 1: As a woman, I would also like to know the answer to the burning question. - ElodyDubois ANSWER 2: As someone who had long nails and had to take out contacts, you learn to use your finger pads rather than your nails or finger tips. It's about angle and pressure. - rivlet
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
I've never understood or liked the long fingernail thing, I recall it dates to some chinese tradition of showing that you don't do manual work, something like that...
Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
I don't get it either. Why are you intentionally crippling your abilities?
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Cara G 2 years ago
As with everything else in life, you adapt. I do my own manicures and while I wouldn't call my nails very long, they are not short either. I've gotten used to them and if I don't have them on, I feel like my fingers don't work. I can't even type on my phone because, as #2 describes, you change the angles and amount of pressure when using your fingertips. I leverage my eyelids to get my contacts out, for example. The bigger issue is being meticulous about keeping them clean underneath.
jolie laide 2 years ago
Even without fake nails, I think everyone should always be cleaning under their nails when they wash their hands. I did a comedy skit at my local comedy club a few years ago about this. Cooking shows! They have longer nails, rings. They mash up ground beef for meatloaf, head to the sink, squirt soap, rub their palms like 5 times, rinse off for 2 seconds, dry off, then it's all, "And now time for the salad!" Uuuugh.
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CammyCat 2 years ago
Always been curious about this too (as a female), but I'm curious as to whether or not any men truly
Mandy Delaforce (PC Girl) 2 years ago
I'd like to know why people are using their fingernails to wipe their butts. LOL Ladies with longer nails wipe the same as everyone else. I don't think anyone scrapes!
Awesome Panda 2 years ago
I’ve never had acrylics but I have glue ons and you just have to get used to it.Idk why it’s fun but it’s like a challenge.If I don’t have glue ons I have natural long nails because when they are short my nails tend to hurt
#32
QUESTION: When you are nearing the time of the month, can you feel it coming? ANSWER: Sort of. I can feel pain that signals I'd better prepare. - stolenourhearts
Vira 2 years ago
Unless a woman is irregular. Not all women have cycles once a month. I do know, though, because my breasts hurt for a week prior.
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mountkilamontanjiro 2 years ago
I can tell because I get a specific feeling of "I'm craving food but I don't know what kind" that happens right before it starts.
LeeAnne B 2 years ago
Usually something salty for me, like crisps. Or rare steak. Also I get emotional a day before. Like, an ad on TV will set me off. I'll cry through MasterChef. S**t like that.
Load More Replies... Tracy Wallick 2 years ago
Yes. I get discomfort in my lower stomach as sort of a pre-emptive 'hey cramps are coming' warning... and I get outrageously horny, lmao
No Name 2 years ago
OOOOH yeah. Before I got the implant and stopped them altogether, I'd have 10 days of constipation and severe pain when running, I'd have a night 3 days before it started where I wouldn't be able to fall asleep until sunrise (so I would just miss a night of sleep every month while I was in school), I'd be short tempered the day before, and I would have <1 hour to pop an ibuprofen from the first inkling of pressure or else it wouldn't kick in in time to help any and I'd be in agony the rest of the day.
Susie Elle 2 years ago (edited)
I can feel my mood dropping, I get tired and I want to eat more than I usually do (not chocolate specifically, just food in general). Also my breasts get really sore and they swell up a bit.
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
I usually don't notice because I get chronic pain anyway, so the backpain I get before it starts is easy to confuse with my normal pain. Then a few hours or a day later I realise that's what the pain was, when it starts.
BakedKahuna 2 years ago
Most of the time I rarely eat chocolate. But when the time of the month is approaching I will devour *a lot* of it for one or two days. Sometimes feeling severely depressed.
#33
QUESTION: Do women put deodorant in their boob pits?
ANSWER 1: Or powder of some sort, yes. My underboobs sweat a lot.
- toxic_pantaloons
ANSWER 2: I do not, but I don’t have extremely large breasts. If your boobs are big enough to hang against your skin, it might make sense to wear powder or something to be more comfortable.
- emilaurapricot
Little Wonder 2 years ago
I have never heard the term boob pits before and I am immediately adding it to my vocabulary.
Alleman Jennifer 2 years ago
Me neither. Never even thought of the concept!
Load More Replies... OmBoyGanesh 2 years ago
I swear my mom used to put half a roll of paper towels under those things. Especially in the sweltering humid heat. But then, she could also hold a full 2 liter bottle under each by boob weight alone. She had a reduction after needing back surgery for disk issues. Now she uses nothing because there isn’t an underneath.
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
I have large breasts and I haven't even thought about using anything to combat sweating.
Cassandra Hager 2 years ago
Triple D cup size here, and the answer is yes. Especially if I'm going to be exercising or having sexy time. Otherwise my boobs smell like BO.
jolie laide 2 years ago
Triple D here too, and yups, powder all the way, whether I'm braless or not.
Load More Replies... Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago (edited)
More in the warmer spring and scorching hot summer months than fall and winter for me. However, if I’m going to really exert myself and sweat, like when I clean house, work in the yard, or go to the gym to work out, I’ll use it then. I live in a region that gets all four seasons, but if I lived somewhere that’s warm year round, then I’d apply deodorant and powder there all year round.
#34
QUESTION: When you're platonic friends with a man, do you want to be treated exactly how he treats his male friends (in terms of tone, the inside jokes, and the way time is spent), or is there an expectation to be treated differently as a woman?
ANSWER 1: I just want to be approached naturally, and not much differently than you would approach a male friend. In my personal experience though, I do expect more boundaries when it comes to sex jokes or physical contact. Otherwise, please treat a female friend like any other friend and respect what she says she is comfortable with.
- azuari
ANSWER 2: I tell men that are struggling with women that they should treat women like they're there friends gf or something like that. I know plenty of guys that are great friends with a number of women cause in their heads those women are off the table for one reason or another. The second there's a possibility of dating or sex involved they are incapable of acting like normal humans. It's crazy to me.
- CrossXFir3
Laura Gillette 2 years ago
If you relate to your male friends with a lot of roughhousing, then probably not that aspect. If you make a lot of misogynistic jokes with your male friends, even if you claim you are doing it "ironically", then... I don't want to be your friend.
lenka 2 years ago
This! If you are behaving in ways that a female friend would consider inappropriate, or you are concerned that you have to adjust your behavior to be friends with a woman, then you are 'probably not really a good guy and women probably don't want to be friends with you anyway.
Load More Replies... Susie Elle 2 years ago
I want to be treated like I want to be treated, regardless of whether that's conform 'male friend' or 'female friend'. Just treat me based on how you know me.
Isa's left eye 2 years ago
I guess it depends on the woman. I personally prefer to be treated the same
Mel The Axolotl 2 years ago
To some extent. Treat me like your male friends, but just don't be a s****y person. I overheard an ex-friend the other day, he was "joking" with one of his male friends that if they were both in prison he would r@pe his friend. If you're anyone who would "joke" like that, I don't wanna be associated with you at all. (This same person was basically a really good friend when I was around, but not a good person at all around anyone else. When I was sick one time, he was talking to my friend group and called me "his f*g" and we're American so you can guess what he meant by that)
Mel The Axolotl 2 years ago
Oopsie, I didn't mean to turn this comment into a rant. Sorry
Load More Replies... ShaZam Beaubien 2 years ago
It's up to the woman. Some are not comfortable with the "gutter talk"
Jay Harkness 1 year ago
Generally, lots of women are fine being treated the same as men, but be aware that they might not have grown up with more "rough" friendships (play fighting, insults) so might not interpret your behaviour the same way other men would
Hakitosama 2 years ago
I bless my asexuality in that matter. All the guys around me know that no, it will NEVER, happen and end up kinda forgetting that at the end of the day, I'm a girl
#35
QUESTION: Ok I go to the gym and see women wear these sports bras that have like 10 straps. While I think that is a cool style I wonder how they put it on and not get tangled in the straps!?
ANSWER 1: Totally get tangled in them sometimes, but you initially kind of bunch them together.
- peppermint-latte
ANSWER 2: I hold all the straps with my thumbs, stick my head through, and hope for the best.
- missnikkibabyyy
Justanotherpanda 2 years ago
I just don't wear them, if it's not a problem, you don't have to find a solution.
Jennifer Norton 2 years ago
women's clothing can be complicated... if we love the look of something, we figure it out! It's just the nature of being a girl!
Mandy Delaforce (PC Girl) 2 years ago
They are awful. I have no idea why people wear them. They rub against the skin and itch.
jolie laide 2 years ago
Clothing can always be a challenge. If you think that's bad, try and see what some of these clothes look like coming out of the dryer. Same with people who wear skin tight clothes. I can help but stare, because I always think of that one scene from "Friends", where Ross is trying to put on skin tight leather pants. He calls one friend who says to use powder. Then another, who says lotion. He calls another and says, "It's made a paste!" How people actually get into some clothes... I... don't know. I remember reading back in the 1800's England, where men's fashions were so tight, they literally couldn't put on or pull off their suit coat without help, and that their breeches (pants) when they sat down or bent over, were so well made that instead of splitting seams, it would cut off blood flow.
#36
QUESTION: This might've been asked previously but are manboobs a dealbreaker? I'm not unfit per se, I do workout regularly but I also love food and work a desk job. So I have a dad bod and some manboobs(prob a medical condition). Or is confidence in your body the key with women? ANSWER 1: Manboobs are fine, just not bigger than mine... Lol - spookypinkchic ANSWER 2: Doesn't matter a lot to a lot of women. But how it affects you does have a huge impact. If you let it knock your confidence then yeah it will affect your chances. A lot of women just want to be accepted for themselves as they are, not perfect and not looking to be pressured to be. Those women generally extend the same curtesy to partners - rubygood
M. William Bell 2 years ago
To the OP, I’ve had gynecomastia since puberty and was WILDY self conscious about it for years. Like you, I worked out and stayed lean to keep my chest from being too ‘breast like.’ I said for years that as soon as I had the money I’d have a reduction. Fast forward a ten years and I realized a few things. 1. Every man, has some form of breast tissue that is amplified when they gain weight. 2. No woman had ever mentioned or noticed my chest. Fast forward another ten years and I’m have found myself married to a wonderful woman who supported my decision to have a reduction if I wanted one, but she didn’t care either way. I’m 42 now and barely think about this thing that used to plague my every thought. What I have learned is this, it’s called being self conscious for a reason. It’s in your head. It was when I stopped caring about my chest that I realized that I was the only one who cared in the first place. I hope that helps you find some peace one day.
Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
This is the best answer. If something bothers you, do something about it. If it bothers others, that's their issue, not yours.
Load More Replies... IamMe 2 years ago
I'm forty, so I've seen many, many shirtless men. Most men, even the thin ones have some man boobage going on. Never, not once, have I ever heard the subject come up in a "girl talk" conversation. It's probably the equivalent of women thinking men care if their nails are done, or something similar.
Izzy Curer 2 years ago (edited)
Manboobs can be great. I respectfully only say this as a form of reassurance, but... *I motorboat dem man titties.* If my one opinion on the internet means anything.
VonBlade 2 years ago
Answer 2 is basically "if you feel bad about them I will too", which is hardly helpful.
Becky Samuel 2 years ago
Isn't it? I thought it hit the nail on the head. I would rather be with someone who's got a "wonky" body but is comfortable in their own skin than someone with a "perfect" body who insists on squirming about, turning off lights, or otherwise trying to hide themselves.
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#37
QUESTION: I'm kind of an outdoorsman. I love everything outdoors. I live in the woods, I love fishing, I love hiking, and I love camping. I like country music, and I play the guitar. I asked a girl out in February, but she said I was "too simple". Am I too simple? Maybe I should go from cowboy hat to ball cap ANSWER: Not at all. Not every woman is the same, you just found one that wasn’t compatible with you and your lifestyle. - purpleprincess96
Little Wonder 2 years ago
It's weird how common that thought process is, "One woman said she doesn't like hiking, should I give up hiking?" Nope, just remember women are actually not a hivemind and we all enjoy different stuff.
Deedee 2 years ago
Honestly, OP sounds like my dream guy haha, it sounds like a wonderful life :)
Nikki D 2 years ago
I know! I was about to reply a/l? Age and location lol
Load More Replies... Upstaged75 2 years ago
I have a friend who married a guy exactly like this. They fit perfectly because she loves that stuff too. You just have to find the right someone.
Alicia M 2 years ago (edited)
I love the outdoors. I will happily hike, boat, bike, go with you too the park, go on a National Park Road trip (Most fun I've ever had) but I draw the line at the cowboy stuff. I'm not a country western girl. I find that to be a huge turn off, but that doesn't mean other women don't like it.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
In my social circle, men like this (I'm African) are always rightwing and white, and always really boring to talk to , so they do not stand a chance. In my country (South Africa), most women here look for signs of what may be considered success, not "survivalism". We don't really believe the whole "world is ending soon" thing. Look for stuff like what job he does etc, can he hold a conversation. Most important here: is he funny. That wins every time.
#38
QUESTION: What do all of you women talk about in the bathroom? When you all leave together for a couple minutes, we're left in mystery.
ANSWER: Most of the time it's nothing important. We just continue the conversation that was happing before we went in. Like no joke, I literally went with friends to go to the bathroom, and the only thing we talked about was pretzels.
- allyssa_the_scarcrow
Cara G 2 years ago
No. The reason why we go to the bathroom in pairs or groups is for safety. This goes back to the being followed by a man at night situation except the opposite. One woman alone with one man is potentially dangerous for her. One woman alone in a crowd of men is equally potentially dangerous for her. It's self-preservation.
Spring Fisk 2 years ago
I am usually pretty independent so I always thought it was weird for Girls to go to the bathroom together. I decided to try it one day and it actually is kind of nice. You don't really notice when you are alone but as a group, you are less lonely and for some reason, you feel safer.
Laura Gillette 2 years ago
Sometimes you do legit use going to the bathroom together to be safe/check up on your friend(s) though.
Unnamed Hooman 2 years ago
sometimes girls go in pairs for safety, but other times it’s to talk or by coincidence
T. D. Bostick 2 years ago
Meanwhile men's bathrooms are mausoleums of silence. I wouldn't even talk to my best friend while doing my business.
LeeAnne B 2 years ago
How clean/ gross the bathroom is. How uncomfortable your shoes feel. Whether you're looking like a goddess or a crack whore at the time. Also if we're hungry and want a burger after the bar. Just normal stuff that we would probably still chat about if we were still with the guys.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
Is the co-bathrooming thing not a safety thing in a bar? Just asking.
#39
QUESTION: Do you prefer dad bods, full-on jacked muscles, or jacked but not too jacked? ANSWER 1: I like healthy-looking guys. Personally, I find jacked guys unattractive. I feel like it mainly impresses other guys. It's not pleasant getting hugged; it's like a rock wall. Honestly, if you like a guy, you think his body is hot, even if maybe others don't. - Nouveaucola ANSWER 2: Toned but cuddly if that makes sense. Like definition but with a little padding on top. - my_only_outlet
Little Wonder 2 years ago
Dad bod for me, but as with anything - the answer depends on the woman, just as some blokes like a bigger woman, and some like toned and some like...
Rupp 2 years ago
A guy here so I obviously don't know, but a line that always sticks out in my head: Guys fall in love with women they find attractive, women find the men they fall in love with attractive. (Women are less superficial....)
Libstak 2 years ago (edited)
Theres toned and healthy muscles and then there's the steroid overload look. The second is really unattractive imo. However, overall it's not the shape of the body it's the way you feel in the company of that body, that can be sexual, safe, comfy etc all can lead to intimacy. If you feel objectified and not much else then bye bye.
Tracy Wallick 2 years ago
It's different for every woman; I don't care about body shape, I like a nice smile and a sense of humor.
Izzy Curer 2 years ago
Thicc dad bod with muscle somewhere underneath. Healthy, but in a way like they're not going anywhere.
kybourbonpearls 2 years ago
Dad bods allllll day for me! My husband is the strongest person I know. We farm so he is constantly pulling calves, throwing hay bales, lifting feed sacks, etc. He doesn't have huge muscles but is very solid and even has a tiny little gut that I find incredibly sexy. I see men with huge muscles and wonder if they are really as strong as their physique implies or if could I knock them over with a feather.
Alicia M 2 years ago
I hate the body builder look. I used to be married to a bodybuilder, and all my friends would act like he was so hot, and I never understood it. I personally find it to be a turn off. Some muscle is fine, as long as it's not overdone. I actually hate guys who look like they live at the gym. Dad bods are fine. Thin bodies are fine. I go more for a person's intelligence and personality. If I had to describe my perfect man it would be a tall, thin, athletic body, like a runner or something, but it really doesn't matter. I like all types, as long as you're not a bodybuilder.
#40
QUESTION: For those of you who have and wear them: What the f**k on EARTH makes you think fake eyelashes are even REMOTELY attractive? ANSWER: If they're subtle, you legit can't even tell they're fake. The flashier ones are worn because the woman likes the look and doesn't care if others find it attractive. Even if she does care about looking attractive, people are attracted different things. Some people are totally into it even if you aren't. - peppermint-latte
Cara G 2 years ago
Key word here being "attractive". He's first assuming that she is wearing them to make herself more attractive to others. And then he again assumes that the attraction she is allegedly seeking must be his own. Naturally. What lies inside the boundaries of "attractive" is different from one individual to another.
Becky Samuel 2 years ago
Exactly. When men shave that weird parting thingy into their eyebrows do they do it for "attractiveness"? It's just a personal preference.
Load More Replies... T. D. Bostick 2 years ago
Ditto with the shaved off real eyebrows and painted on fake ones in places no human has ever had eyebrows.
LeeAnne B 2 years ago
I don't like this statement because it's derogatory. What makes OP think that false eyelashes are for him. They're for us. I have never worn them because of my sinus issues. But if wearing something makes a man or woman or any other sex feel good about themselves .. do it!
#41
QUESTION: For women with pierced nipples, if you get pregnant and start lactating, does the milk also come out through the piercing holes? ANSWER: It can. Most women take their piercings out because it can be choking hazard, and then the piercing hole heals up very quickly. Also, milk comes out of several ducts at the nipple, not just one hole! - AliceDeeTwentyFive
Beck 2 years ago
If you look at your nipple you can see many "pores?" Milk will come out of all of them. Kinda like a shower head.
Load More Replies... ShaZam Beaubien 2 years ago
I had a friend that one duct remained open for milk ... for years. She was a science experiment for all of us
#42
QUESTION: Do women prefer men to be open and direct about their intentions when dating or is there necessity for nuance, subtle signals and such? Like for instance, is it better for men when getting to know a woman they are interested in to say “Hey I like you. I’d love to take you out on a date sometime.” versus being nice and kind of playing a game where both parties try to figure out if the other person likes them. Probably not the best wording but I hope it’s clear enough to understand the idea of what I’m asking.
ANSWER 1: Clarity is generally better, although I'm certain there are women out there who prefer the back and forth and trying to figure it out. I'd always prefer it if someone made their intentions clear — that way there's no room for accidentally leading anyone on or missing signals.
- Heya-Its-Me-Imoen
ANSWER 2: Clarity is always preferred, but maybe filter intensity. I like knowing where we stand; I like knowing your intentions and that it isn't just me. I don't like knowing that after four dates you're falling in love.
- CantChooseAFandom69
ANSWER 3: I always thought I preferred men to give me subtle hints instead of being open and direct about their intentions. I found it more fun that way, or at least I thought. And then I met my fiancé, who was very direct about what he wanted. After our first date, he said “I really like you and I would like to see where this goes” followed by “Just so you know, I don’t date to fuck. I date to marry.” I have never been more attracted to somebody before after hearing those words. The maturity and the confidence almost made me orgasm right then and there.
- Jokakuka
Billie Templeton 2 years ago
She's joking about the orgasm. She's likely saying she felt really turned on and attracted to him in that moment of honesty
CammyCat 2 years ago
I HATE games, and will drop a guy just as fast as if he were cheating. I would ALWAYS prefer a man that's always honest with me vs someone who keeps his lips sealed. Ex: does this dress make me look fat? -now, I'm not asking for brutal honesty, but a response like maybe: it's not the most flattering on u today, maybe this one...?
SpookyPanda 2 years ago
I prefer direct and open, especially since I was never really one to pay attention or initiate a connection. If you like me, just say so.
Stephanie Cunningham 2 years ago
For me, direct is better...but there is a big difference between "direct" and "overly forward." If we've been on a date and you like me and want to see me again, please say so. But a guy launching into sex talk super quickly is a hard no.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
I stopped being indirect in my early 30s, it just got too confusing and ended up with us friendzoning each other. Much easier to just say up front.
M Calad 2 years ago
I don't like when I have to figure out the hints. Makes me kinda anxious. What if it's all in my head? What if I am misunderstanding? I prefer clarity and direct without being aggressive or pushy or over complimenting. Something nice like "Hey, I like you and I would like to know you more. Would you be interested?".
#43
QUESTION: How soon should a guy call after asking for your number?
ANSWER 1: Next day.
- mcrfreak78
ANSWER 2: Unpopular opinion but I don’t mind if I get a text a little while later that day. Actually calling seems like something to do when you make it official. Maybe that’s just me because I see phone calls as an inconvenience. The next day rule would bug the crap out of me. If I was interested in you I would want you to text me later after I gave you my number.
- NameNobodyTook
crowspectre (he/they) 2 years ago
I have the kid I have a crush on my number (they don't know I have a crush unfortunately) and they texted in like an hour and honestly that is the best thing to do (I am also not a woman so I can't answer this lol but just sharing my experience)
#44
QUESTION: So vaginal wetness is linked with arousal and increases the more aroused you are. Does that also increase with how attracted you are to the other person or is it touch and stimulation from them? ANSWER: I want to say that you can be very aroused and still not get very wet. Sometimes your body doesn't really cooperate. For me it's a huge difference depending on my cycle. The most fertile days are... interesting. But the rest of the time the wetness is disappointing, haha. - Deny_Everything_21
Izzy Curer 2 years ago (edited)
You can also just be wet for no reason at all, even if you're not arroused. Like during your fertile days, or if you're really well hydrated. Sometimes it just copiously dribbles out of you when you're not even thinking of anything.
Icecream Sarang 2 years ago
I’ll add sometimes things are nicely lubricated down there and you aren’t in the mood at all.
Cassandra Hager 2 years ago
It's like a reverse boner almost. Just because you're hard doesn't mean you're that into it, and the reverse is true for girls, individual differences aside in both genders of course. Really the takeaway is if a girl asks you to use lube, don't take it personally, she's probably just trying to have a good time too :)
Cara Indiano 2 years ago
Also birth control can affect it, once i removed my iud it was like a waterfall down there.
Lynette Vella 2 years ago
It happens more around the time of increased fertility - it helps the sperm reach the egg.
#45
ANSWER: Why when I get excited about a subject I'm passionate about, I sometimes get accused of mansplaining? Sometimes I just really like a subject and want to talk about it. I'm not being a d**k, I just suck at social cues and unfortunately most guys suck as well.I totally get the anger about the patriarchy and all that. I just really like birds and bugs. ANSWER 1: It sometimes does come down to social cues. I think the best thing to do is to not dominate the conversation, but check in with them. For example, instead of talking about birds for 10 minutes, check in and volley the conversation — ask them if they are interested in birds, what their favorite bird is, etc. That way it is more of a conversation than a lecture. - artificialnocturnes ANSWER 2: Ask us, before you go off, how much we know. Or say something like, 'Tell me if you already know any of this,' so they won't feel as weird telling you, and you can just skip to the next point you were going to say. - chexxmex
N Miller 2 years ago
Yes, being passionate about a subject doesn't automatically lead to mansplaining. It becomes mansplaining when you a) assume you know better about the subject than your audience without checking their baseline understanding or b) assume they want to know what you know without them asking - if it's not a natural part of the conversation and just you showing off, don't. Just don't.
Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
I love it when a guy rambles excitedly on a subject he loves. That's not mansplaining. Mansplaining is explaining rocket science to a woman who works at NASA when you're a lawyer. Or explaining carpentry to a woman who's a cabinetmaker when you're an accountant.
Tabitha 2 years ago
My husband can be guilty of this, but totally unintentionally. He'll explain something he's into, but will explain the common sense stuff that is probably considered universal knowledge, and that's when I get peeved. For a fake scenario , he might be really into clouds and say something like, "So there are many different types of clouds, there's not just one type." And to which I would most likely reply, "Yeah, i've seen clouds before, bro."
wild_mushrooms 2 years ago
Okay, I feel like the answers aren't really fair but the amount of girls who do the EXACT same thing is kinda ridiculous.
RedMarbles 2 years ago
Interesting. I thought both answers were excellent advice. That said, the advice goes for anyone regardless of gender.
Load More Replies... censorshipsucks 2 years ago (edited)
Birds and bugs and long explanations about them with no social cue detection? You my friend are a fellow ASD. https://psyche.co/ideas/why-neurodiversity-and-entomology-so-often-go-together
Mikkilea Blinke 2 years ago
Just keep them simple we don't need details on every second of the story especially if its not a subject we understand. If we want you to elaborate well let you know and ask which allows the conversation to flow more.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
That's true no matter the gender. I've had women enthusiastically explain things of marginal interest in great detail. So yeah, correct.
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Kevin Humble 2 years ago
Anwser 2 - 1000%. I have worked in I.T. and many MANY times have had to explain something (assst a buying decision help decide on a backyp system etc). I start by asking "So I can pitch this at the right level - how much to you know about X?" This has always been well received. You have to watch the eyes though - if you start and it looks like they overestimated and you are pitching too high you can see it ... back down a bit till you see understanding come back.
Lynette Vella 2 years ago
My Australian husband dominates EVERY conversation no matter with whom he's talking. I've gotten so quiet over the 15 years since I've married him; he has no interest in anything I have to say unless it's about someone else. He LOVES gossip. I constantly have to repeat crucial information because he doesn't remember anything I've said. He'll tell the same story over and over and over again - he lives in the past when he used to play cricket with his mates. I have to be careful not to say something that could possibly upset him because he has such a bad temper - he's constantly cursing and yelling. He has horrible road-rage. But everyone seems to think he's such a 'fun guy'.
Nicole 2 years ago
😨Lynette you sound like you need to get out of there. Stay safe.
Load More Replies... #46
QUESTION: Do women get the pee shiver? I know sometimes I’ll be pissing and there’s an uncontrolled shiver as I’m finishing up. Does that happen with women at all? ANSWER 1: Yup. I didn’t know that happened with men, too. -caIyps0o ANSWER2: Your body shivers to make up for the loss of heat. That's why you shiver more when you pee more. - themitchk
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
I wonder if it's a similar connection to when I have restless legs. I have fibromyalgia and one of the symptoms is restless leg syndrome, where my leg muscles cramp and tingle. I find that when I have it, I often feel like I need to pee more often than I actually do and when I do pee it can ease the symptoms a little bit.
ShaZam Beaubien 2 years ago
I had it once. I was pregnant, holding it in. When I finally got to pee, it was always orgasmic. One of my legs actually quivered. It was weird.
#47
QUESTION: How often do y'all wash your Bra? ANSWER 1: The ones I wear occasionally? Pretty much after wearing it. My favourite 2? Hardly ever. Can’t risk having them out of rotation. - MarsWater5 ANSWER 2: Everyone's different. I usually wear my bras 2 days maximum only if I didn't sweat in them or else I wear a different one every day and I wash them all at the end of the week. - Hey_u_ok
Nikki Sevven 2 years ago (edited)
Already worn underwear feels different from underwear fresh from the laundry, yes? If I put my bra on, and it feels like I've already worn it, it goes to the laundry. Materials gets stretched and absorbs sweat and body oils, which affects how the material feels. (Edited to add: So it varies. If I'm doing a lot of house or yard work, every day. If I've been more sedentary, 2-3 days.)
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
I wear mine twice before washing. I make sure I have enough to match up with my washing schedule so I have one to wear while they are being washed.
CrunChewy McSandybutt 2 years ago
When I find a bra I like, I will buy 5 of them so I can wash them often.
Linouchka 2 years ago
Ladies who never wash their bra, it's a piece of clothing, it goes under your armpits, of course it needs to get washed as often as any clothing you wear ! If people talk to you from a distance and you wonder why, I can tell it's because you stink like an unwashed bra... ! Eeew !
Princess Mar-li Cathryn 2 years ago
My mother and I are locked in an endless battle over this.
#48
QUESTION: How comfortable are bras ? Do you think it would be better if u had one that was customized to your eh how do u say it ( boob shape ) ? If yes how much better would that be on a scale of 1 to 10 ANSWER: I well fitted bra can feel like you're not wearing anything at all, unfortunately those are rare and expensive. Also, your body changes constantly. If you're on your period, your breasts might become larger and painful so your usual bra might not be comfortable. I think this is why a lot of women opt for sports bras! It's easier, and you don't need to be measured regularly and have to buy loads of bras. A customised bra would be amazing, preferably one that adjusted to any changes. - Heya-Its-Me-Imoen
Mrs. EW 2 years ago
I honestly would rather not wear a bra and only do because of social standards. Then again, I don’t have very large breasts, so I have no idea how women that do would feel about it.
wild_mushrooms 2 years ago
As a girl with large breasts, its TERRIBLE to not wear them
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Tracy Wallick 2 years ago
It depends on the bra; I have large boobs, so going without a bra for too long is also very uncomfortable. Sports bras are comfy <3
Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 2 years ago
I actually don't like not wearing 1 cause I don't like the feeling of my clothes on my tits. Idk it's uncomfortable
ShaZam Beaubien 2 years ago
I feel bad if I don't wear a bra. I don't want to emotionally scar a teenage boy.
Auntriarch 2 years ago
As an E cup, I would be most uncomfortable without a bra. But getting a good fit takes some trouble, and it won't be cheap. Having said that, even supermarket bras come in larger cup sizes now, though they don't last as long.
Sheena Leversedge Wood 2 years ago
I used to waist train and I found my made to measure underbust corset more comfortable than a bra fitted to the right size by an expert. it was always the bra I wanted to get off when I got home
Icecream Sarang 2 years ago
Not wearing a bra makes my back hurt. I was so glad when they started making push up bras for large cheated women. It takes the weight off.
#49
QUESTION: Do you guys fart in front of each other the way most guys do? ANSWER: Only if you're that comfortable enough to do so with each other. Majority don't but there's some that do. Sisters will definitely do. Friends depends. - Hey_u_ok
Unnamed Hooman 2 years ago
Sisters: yes. Friends: for me, heck no. I did once and they never let me live it down. It’s a natural body function and they were like “Ew! (My name)’s a farter!” Grow up.
Lynette Vella 2 years ago
My husband farts non-stop when we're in bed streaming shows. He has no idea how much this disgusts me - I find him revolting when he does this. And, when he swears.
#50
QUESTION: Do the majority of women out there prefer a man with a deeper voice?
ANSWER 1: From me and all my friends, yes. But we all agree that the voice can’t be too deep. Like there is a certain tone that’s just...perfect.
- EggCake258
ANSWER 2: My first boyfriend and I had the same voice. I was more fine with it than he was.
- Fabulous_Parking66
BakedKahuna 2 years ago
For me it's not necessarily a deeper voice. I like a certain warmth and also confidence to it.
Powerful Katrinka 2 years ago
One of the sexiest men I know has a high squeaky voice, and it's adorable. It's adorable because he doesn't try to hide it, and he's not self-conscious about it.
Everybody Say Love! 2 years ago
I didn't think that i had an attraction to deep voices until I heard Corpse Husband speak.....
Unnamed Hooman 2 years ago
Same. I like higher voices sometimes, but his voice is just perfect
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Christopher Bowers 2 years ago
As a guy myself, I have heard from various women that commented about my voice, some say I have a very southern accent, some say I have a voice that they could fall asleep too, some say I have a deep voice, some say I have a soothing calm voice, and several others. I find it humourous at times when women from other countries wish me to pronounce words for them, even if they laugh and giggle and make jokes about it, I don't care, I am good with impressions too so I can easily do one of those and say, "You like this one better", its always fun if I am able to do a genuine sounding accent to their own country. That usually surprises them. But one thing is something men don't realize at times is their voice sounding loud to women at times, so when a woman tells you your being loud or may think you got a angry tone in your voice due to you sounding loud, don't get angry or raise your voice saying you aren't being loud, instead lower your voice when speaking.
Christopher Bowers 2 years ago
P.S. also too we often talk louder without realizing it when we are wearing a headset/earphones while playing games or talking with someone on the phone or something. So try to remind yourself to remove one or those ear pieces to the side so you can listen and try to talk in a softer voice when having a conversation with someone in person.
Load More Replies... #51
QUESTION: If you’re on your period and swim in the ocean are you at all worried that you’ll have a little leak and the smell of blood will attract sharks. Because I would be. ANSWER: I've never thought about it but I personally don't like swimming in any wild body of water which something can attack me from the dark depths. - anonymous
Michelle C 2 years ago
Answer: Yes, I have thought of that and hoped for it...occasionally I will wade through families playing, leaving my mark, then sit on the shoreline and wait for the carnage.
Lisa Onitnelot 2 years ago
the water pressure when you get in prevents you from leaking. when you get out the pressure is released and 'oh boy'.
Mia Black 2 years ago
I don't like to swim in open water because I can't see enough and because of the maybe irrational fear to "catch" something...like bacteria, small animals ( or sharks, but I don't live in a shark area) - this leads to thinking I want a safety plug for my hole, so nothing can invade me and make me sick or worse...
Upstaged75 2 years ago
No. Unless you're swimming around free bleeding all over the place in shark infested waters the risk is basically nil.
Julie Snelling 2 years ago
I'm sure it was on ANTM they were going to do a photoshoot with sharks and had to ask the women if any of them were on their period because they couldn't get in the water with the sharks.
Lisa T 2 years ago
n a report by Popular Science, period blood actually does not attract sharks. Although sharks can smell blood because of the chemicals (amino acids) it contains, they don't interpret it as their dinner bell. On the contrary, sharks sniff for the scent of their prey of choice.
#52
QUESTION: Why is there an overabundance of pillows everywhere? Couches, beds. I get having one or two for comfort. But I've seen women with 5+ pillows. ANSWER: For me, it's mostly for added and flexible comfort. In my bedroom, I have different pillows for different places and sleeping positions — large ones for sleeping, smaller for the neck when sitting up, or between the knees when sleeping, etc. On the couch, I have them to put behind my neck, on my lap, to prop things up, for sitting on the floor by the coffee table, lying sideways, or just snuggling one for warmth while watching a movie. You'll always find a use. Also, it looks good. - helpmewhyamistillup
Julie Snelling 2 years ago
I like a one cushion behind my back when sitting. What I don't get is 15 cushions on a bed that you have to take off the bed before you get in and then replace in the correct order in the morning. Nah definitely not for me.
Spring Fisk 2 years ago
I despise decorative pillows however it is nice to have a few comfortable pillows on the couch to put on your lap or lay your head on.
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
I don't get having so many pillows either. I have the one I use on my bed and that's it. Even on my couch I only have the ones I actually need because they are just pointlessly taking up space otherwise.
Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
Sorry, but I don't get this one either. Then again, I've always had dogs who are allowed on the furniture. If I had loads of pillows, I'd be picking them up off the floor all the time.
#53
QUESTION: What's with all the plushies? ANSWER: SO SOFT! That material they're made of is so nice on the fingertips. - Union_of_Onion
Spring Fisk 2 years ago
They are comforting, I am sure men have had stuffed animals when there were kids and found comfort in them. Girls as well, however, I think there is less social pressure on girls to give them up as they grow older. I think also in some way they are like "babies" so we can subconsciously exercise those nurturing muscles we have.
Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 2 years ago
Soft and I love cuddles. I'm cuddling a teddy rn in fact
#54
QUESTION: Does someones job or profession change how attractive you find him?
ANSWER 1: Not the specific job per se, but more whether they have passion, dedication, or interest in it. I don’t care what people do for a living, and sometimes it’s cool to hear about their day. But if someone’s complaining about feeling like they’re in a dead-end job that they’re just half-assing every day but won’t do anything about the situation, then that's a total turn-off.
- ReineTek
ANSWER 2: As with most things, it depends on the woman honestly. If you’re into status, then yes you would definitely want someone with a high status job. If you plan on not working, same thing.
Myself and most of my girl friends are all career-oriented with advanced degrees, in jobs that are high status or high earning/high potential earners. I haven’t noticed that it matters as much for my group. We all have partners with interesting jobs and hobbies, but none of us sought men in specific fields of work. And several of us are the breadwinners to spouses with interesting and important but lower paying jobs.
- Art_Cooking_Fun
BravePanda 2 years ago
I love meeting people who had interesting and positive outlooks about their work. Passion goes a long way. A lawyer who hates his job is less appealing than a call center employee who legitimately enjoys helping customers, regardless of their horrible boss.
Tracy Wallick 2 years ago
Yes, but not because of salary; if he has a profession that he loves, that I admire, and/or doesn't make it really difficult to spend time with him, I'm gonna find him more attractive.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
In my country (SA) it depends on socioeconomic status. Middleclass women want someone interesting and confident etc., low-income women want someone high-income, and put up with anything. It's really sad.
LeeAnne B 2 years ago
This may sound shallow but when I met my ex husband I took into account what he did for a living when deciding to move in with him. I wanted a partner that could bring his half of the expenses but also look after his personal spending properly. I was honest about it. Having grown up with a mother who spent irresponsibly made me adverse to one partner having to support the other. I'm not talking about making the choice to support but a situation where one partner has to work overtime to simply put food on the table while the other spends faster than they earn.
memyselfandI 2 years ago
It might also be related to personality. Certain personality types are more likely to have certain jobs, so if I hear that someone has such and such job and I know lots of people with a similar job, I might be more comfortable initially because that’s something I know about them already. It’s just first impressions.
#55
QUESTION: Women, when I walk past you would you prefer that I acknowledge you or ignore you completely? ANSWER 1: Depends, is it a dark alley at night? - stolenourhearts ANSWER 2: Personally, I would prefer that you not acknowledge because I don’t like interacting with strangers on the street. I probably wouldn’t acknowledge you and I don’t like the peer pressure I feel to make eye contact with strangers who are trying to say hi to me. But that’s just me. Others may feel differently based on their personalities or the culture of where you are located. - Lovewilltearusapart0
The Other Guest 2 years ago
Depends on how it's done. I don't mind a nod or a "hello" in passing but I didn't appreciate the guy who followed it up with "nice títs."
Debbie 2 years ago
Personally, always acknowledge another persons existence. I probably would feel safer if you walked past and said: goodevening! and continued walking. That shows you've seen me, respected me with a greeting, and moved on. It also depends how busy it is. If it is just us two, see above. If there are more people around: just mind your own business and walk past.
Whitney Keen 2 years ago
A simple nod is perfect for me. Hi, yes we must pass each other in close proximity, acknowledged, and its over.
crowspectre (he/they) 2 years ago
As a seattlite guy I don't care who you are if you don't know me and you do so much as look qt me I will either run away or punch you
Whatever 2 years ago
Ignore me. Please. I'm a White woman in the south and Black men always make a point of looking me in the eye and addressing me. I completely understand why they do it and appreciate their consideration. But I also wish I could tell them to stop. This actually happened last week. I was walking into the grocery store late at night. I'm busy scanning for danger. But a man makes eye contact and addresses me. I've already scanned him and found him to be safe. (Keys in hand, milk and diapers in the other, looking for his car. He's at the grocery story to buy groceries. Not a threat.) The guy doing nothing, lurking by the entrance, however, is concerning. But I can't keep an eye on that guy because I have to stop and acknowledge the guy with the diapers who is addressing me. That does not make me feel safe. Please don't single me out for acknowledgement. That feels unsafe and it's unnecessary. Give me credit for being able to read you as being safe and go about your way.
#56
QUESTION: Do women like booty on guys ? (I go to gym and don't wanna have a big butt) ANSWER1: I LIKE THE CAKE BABYYYYY 🍑 it just can’t be bigger than mine - maxxii20 ANSWER 2: It’s not something I look for particularly but I think a dude with a pretty flat a*s is not my thing for whatever reason. - Upper-Experience-850
#57
QUESTION: Gay waiter here. Girl, your adult boyfriend has had his headphones on the entire time you have been here (this happens constantly). From what I have picked up you’re about to graduate with a degree in nursing and he is…..working on his music career? Girl, do you literally not understand how much better you are then this? For Christ’s sake, he ordered a well done burger with only ketchup! Girl what the hell are you doing?! ANSWER: Lmao, is this my sister in law?! Because she’s been a nurse for over 10 years and actually married this type of dude. She likes to “fix things” and never got the hint that he still doesn’t want to be fixed. She’s way too good for him, but I honestly think that he’s broken her down enough mentally to believe that she can’t live without him. So, there’s that. - missnikkibabyyy
VonBlade 2 years ago
"I honestly think that he’s broken her down enough mentally to believe that she can’t live without him" - Not saying gaslighting isn't a thing, this comment is implying LOVE isn't a thing. Maybe he didn't grind her down mentally, maybe she just, you know, loves him.
Gourdeous 2 years ago
Going to generalise massively, but men tend to aim (very) high, and women are more likely to settle. I think there's also a lot more emotional manipulation and gaslighting in relationships than is acknowledged (perhaps because of societal expectations of women), so women have shittier partners than they deserve
AliJanx 2 years ago
There are times when me and my SO had nothing to say to each other and would sit quietly on our phones until the meal was served. Then, we wouldn't talk until we had something to say. We'd lived together long enough, so it indicated we just knew each other.
Sunshine Lady 2 years ago
Yes, same with me and my husband. Not every silence must be filled with conversation. Especially when you have 3 little kids. In our situation staying quiet is comforting.
Load More Replies... ShaZam Beaubien 2 years ago
Again, it is a self confidence thing. We've all been it situations we shouldn't have been. Hopefully, we learn from that mistake and become a stronger person.
#58
QUESTION: I’m no man of Reddit but need to ask other girls/women so. Do any of u have inverted nipples? Like I only found out I have them the other week cos I thought it was normal and my brain is scrambled cos idk how common it is ANSWER: I don't, but I work as a breastfeeding educator. About 1 in 10 women have inverted nipples. - Opposite_Door5210
Mrs. EW 2 years ago
My mother has them. I don’t. When I had trouble breastfeeding my son, she asked if that may be the problem. My lactate consultant told me i didn’t have them. I honestly wouldn’t know what to look for to tell.
Becky Samuel 2 years ago
Are they "innies" or "outies". That's literally it.
Load More Replies... Julie Snelling 2 years ago
I do too I didn't realise for a long time that that wasn't normal.
Load More Replies... #59
QUESTION: Like. Why are women mean in general to other women. You’ll never see a man go, “That B***h” just for nothing. But I’ve seen women behave like that in general with each other. I really find that difficult to understand. Apologies if I’ve offended anyone. I come with absolute peace. ANSWER: I feel like that is a generalisation. Competitive or insecure women will do that, but not all. On the flip side; Unfortunately women act differently around other women than around men, so maybe a women calling another women a bitch is because when there's no men around to act nice in front of they are truely a bitch. Sadly guys don't often see it - Nouveaucola
Libstak 2 years ago
Honestly whats with the bar brawls and stink eyes men throw around? Its just the same competative behaviour in a different form.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
Thank you for fixing this one it was super stereotyped.
Load More Replies... Little Wonder 2 years ago
You absolutely see men be mean to other men for no reason. That behaviour is just part of humanity, not gendered at all.
Icecream Sarang 2 years ago
I’ve found women to be some of the biggest misogynists when it comes to other women in male dominated fields, like IT. I’ve often wondered if this is a little bit of resentment that we dared take that path, and also…women are territorial.
Auntriarch 2 years ago
They have probably had to out-man the men to get there, and it's done that to them.
Load More Replies... Lynette Vella 2 years ago
I, also, feel that's a generalization. There are respectful people in the whole and a$$holes - male or female.
ShaZam Beaubien 2 years ago
That's a great question. I think, as women, we are trying to answer that question and become more self-aware of hurting or discouraging other women.
#60
QUESTION: I know women like confidence, but are there any women that don't? I'm not a confident person, not just because of insecurities, it's just my nature, I don't think I've ever been certain of anything in my life. I can fake confidence easily, I've been doing it for years, but I don't want to feel like I have to fake myself around someone I really care about, so how common are women that like unconfident guys? ANSWER: I think that it's not so much a confidence that matters so much as a basic level of self-respect and not being a doormat. - peppermint-latte
Mikkilea Blinke 2 years ago
macho over confidence can be a turn off if all the time. fluctuation is nice because they don't attention seek all the time yet can stand up with a backbone when necessary. its endearing really.
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
I think it comes down to the individual person. I personally don't like overly confident guys because it makes me feel even more unsure of myself. I do like when they can make decisions when I can't though.
Icecream Sarang 2 years ago
Confidence is not the same as arrogance or toxic masculinity. Don’t confuse them and everything will be ok.
Brenda Hart 2 years ago
Confidence and arrogance are two different things. People with little or no confidence come across as very weak and needy. That can feel like a real burden. Please try working on valuing yourself so that you don't need constant reassurance from others.
Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 2 years ago
I think that confidence isn't necessary. We can be insecure together
Julie Snelling 2 years ago
It doesn't bother me if someone isn't confident I'm not confident myself, but I hate when people put themselves down all the time that would end up being a turn off for me.
ShaZam Beaubien 2 years ago
I think confidence gets better with age and self-awareness. I think sometimes, as females, we've grown up with "mean girls". So getting older, you figure out their opinion really doesn't matter. Thus, becoming more confident.
#61
QUESTION: After reading the topic... and actually having some pretty close friends that are women. (So now I honestly question myself why I never asked about this before) there's two questions that I wonder about. One being the infamous friend zone. There's countless stories where the situation basically comes down to somebody wanting a boyfriend that is exactly like a friend she has. But it can't be that friend somehow. I've never really understood that one. Could one of you explain it in a bit? The other being that sometimes you just to vent frustration. And as guys we typically want to offer solutions and fix things. Often times it results in where we have to kind of ask if you want to vent, or have a solution. But it seems the majority of time you only want to vent, leaving the situation the same. Is there any reason why you seem to want to leave the situation the same so often? ANSWER: The friend zone question is.. I get why your asking but honestly a lot of men are friends ‘until I can f**k you’ kind of friends. Makes it hard (and super frustrating) to have/trust that you have actual friends that just want to hang. And the second question - we often know the answer/solution, just need to vent it out. Asking if they want to vent or have a solution is a really good question. - MarsWater5
Helena 2 years ago
Plus if men give a solution, they often give the solution that would work for THEM in that situation, not for the woman they're talking to. Things that will work for them will rarely have a correlation to what will work for the person they're talking to.
PolymathNecromancer 2 years ago
This is true. Few men seem to be focused on empathy. But as man, evidence suggests that this may be social, not inherent. Very sad.
Load More Replies... digitalin 2 years ago
Regarding the friend zone: The guy asking the question that women "want a boyfriend exactly like the friend they already have, but it can't be that friend". Wrong. We might want someone who shares a lot of the qualities that make someone a good friend. But "exactly like?" No. Sometimes women are just not sexually attracted to someone. It's not a balance sheet, it's a gut feeling.
Lynette Vella 2 years ago
My husband won't just allow me to vent; he gets angry because he either can't fix the problem or he tells me to tell the other person to "f@ck off".
Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
You've never been friends with a woman you were not attracted to? Perfect in every other way, but no physical attraction at all? That's the friend zone. We absolutely adore you, just not that way. This doesn't mean you're unattractive to other women. Attraction is highly subjective. For example, Brad Pitt does nothing for me, but Adrian Brody is sexy af. The next woman you ask might completely disagree with me. Neither of us is wrong.
PolymathNecromancer 2 years ago
As man, this: IMO men usually leave out the emotional venting part because they deny the emotions. I have learned/been taught that mechanical sorting cannot happen effectively without first bleeding out the emotional pressures.
Whitney Keen 2 years ago
As for the friendzone question, it boils down to chemistry. Just because i like your company doesnt mean i find you sexually attractive.
BlueEyesWhiteDragon 2 years ago
If you're complaining about being in the "friend zone," you were probably never her friend in the first place. You were an opportunist who tried to use friendship as a dating tool and it didn't work out.
BlueEyesWhiteDragon 2 years ago (edited)
I'm a woman, and that whole venting thing makes me nervous. Why are you talking about it if you don't want to brainstorm a solution or if you already know what to do? I've learned to sort of just half-listen so that I can nod and offer sympathy at the right moments, but inside, all I want to do is pull out a sheet of paper and start a pros/cons list with them. But then again, I'm on the autism spectrum, so maybe there's some correlation between men and autistic traits.
setsuriseikou 2 years ago
I'm just one woman, but, as many people here have already said, for some of us the venting is actually a part of the solution brainstorming. To solve a problem, first you have to fully identify and describe it, in every small detail, and that's what venting does. Or, for instance, I say "my boss makes me work overtime and I hate it so much". Possible solutions would be a) standing up to the boss and flatly refusing the overtime, b) finding out if my contract actually lets the boss do that and taking the issue to the legal department if needed, c) any other logical action, right? But as I vent, it becomes clear that none of these solutions are viable, since I'll promptly get fired if I do a), the answer to the question in b) is yes, and c) cannot help me either, so all I can do is suck it up and look for another job, and that is a little easier to do after I've thoroughly, loudly and colorfully described my thoughts on my boss' behavior, the company policy and the situation in general.
Load More Replies... #62
QUESTION: Do you gal's enjoy going to the shops for like hours at a time, trying stuff on and looking at things you have no intention on buying? Do you get tired? Does it relax you or is it just for fun mostly? Do you prefer your SO to come or your friend/s? ANSWER 1: I loathe and detest shopping so much, i can’t begin to describe to you how much I hate it. I gotta know what I want and a pretty direct path in the shop to its location. I use to give a friend my bra size and she would go shop around and get them for me. Ugh, f**king hate it. - ShinyS**tScaresMe ANSWER 2: I think it's super fun. We hang out, get food, try on cute clothes and sometimes buy them. It is tiring though. Online shopping is way easier - chexxmex
Debbie 2 years ago
Depends on how much time and money you have for shopping, and how many chores and other things that need to be done await you at home. Also matters with whom you are. I hardly go shopping for clothes in real stores now. Mostly ordering online. But sometimes when I go to shopping events with friends who like the same clothes it's fun and usefull - someone to help find another size, to suggest clothing, to help decide if the pile of clothes you want to keep is too big. It would depend if my SO likes shopping and giving his opinion or if he sits and sighs and waits for me to be done. So it's a money, personal, time thing imo.
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
It really depends on my mood and intention of the trip. If I have things in particular to buy I want to get in and out as quickly as possible. If I am just in the mood for browsing, only buying things if they stand out or are on sale, I enjoy it and can do it for hours. The latter is fun. I still get to a point, usually around 2hrs, where I am too tired and overstimulated to deal with being in public or keep standing around though.
Lene 2 years ago
I have always hated shopping for clothes but in my teens I had a great solution: I prefer wearing black clothes so when I walk into a clothing store I take a quick look on the clothes (is there anything in a color I like (black) and does it seem to be in a size and shape I can cope with?). If the answer is no to either of these questions I leave the store. I can enter and leave a store within 30 seconds this way. As I've gotten older I have added red and occasinally dark green to the clothe-palet. Lol.
ShaZam Beaubien 2 years ago
I'm a dreamer. So it didn't bother me going out without buying anything. It just felt good to go out. Sometimes going out doesn't have to have a purpose.
Icecream Sarang 2 years ago
OMG I detest shopping. I go in, get what I need, and get out. Unless it’s a bookstore. Then I may be occupied for hours.
Lynette Vella 2 years ago
I like shopping by myself because I an just wander around, looking at clothes, trying them on, and then take all the time I want deciding whether I actually want to but them - sometimes, I'll ask the clerk to 'hold them' for me while I go on to another shop - if I still think about the other clothes, then I know I I really want them. Can't do this when I'm with another person, especially NOT with a man!
Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
I hate shopping with a passion. It's a horrendous chore that occasionally can no longer be put off.
#63
QUESTION: Why the obsession with height? What's the magic in 6ft tall? ANSWER: A lot of us like our partners to be taller than us but there is a limit. If you're so tall that we barely cross your waist then usually there is a drop off. I'd say 3-5 inches taller is where a lot of girls like it - Natasha_T
Nikki D 2 years ago
😆me and my ex both not being able to reach things was such a bonding experience.
Load More Replies... 
Happy Onion 2 years ago
No way, short men for the win! There is something so arousing about being taller than the guy I'm with.
Tracy Wallick 2 years ago
I've dated men shorter, the same height, and taller than me. Height doesn't bother me, but it does seem to bother guys when I'm the taller partner (I'm 5'7"/170 cm)
Icecream Sarang 2 years ago
I’m 5’’10” and my spouse is 5’7”. I stopped caring about height in my 20s.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
Vice versa, I don't want a woman who is like 6'5" because I will feel like I am dating my mom. So yeah body dimorphism is a thing, even happens in gorillas.
AliJanx 2 years ago
I'm tall for a woman. I've always felt insecure around shorter men. It's a weird Hangup I have, but I feel like I'm a giant, oversized, can't wear heels -- you get the picture. I've found the older I get, the less I care about height, but it's always a plus when they're a bit taller and I can wear heels and not feel like I'm literally bowling the man over.
Rostit . 2 years ago (edited)
My wife is a good 2" taller than me. Maybe even more. She had the same thoughts you do. I love it when she wears heals. She looks great and has amazing legs. She's cool about our height difference now. Plenty of men don't care about height difference. I hope you find a way out of that hangup. Tall women are just as awesome as short women.
Load More Replies... #64
QUESTION: Are bi men a turnoff or turnon? ANSWER: I agree it’s neutral for me. I feel like bi men might be more understanding about lgbt/womens/poc issues since they are also a minority, so I would probably lean towards bi since they might have similar experiences to me and can understand. - MorgueMousy
Jessica Bertram 2 years ago
think about the spectrum: bi men on one end and super straight men on the other. "neutral" means STANDING right in the center, "lean towards" means FACING one direction or the other.
Load More Replies... Gourdeous 2 years ago
I'm married to a Bi man. He was worried before we got married that it would make me not want him. I worried that he would feel he was missing out. Nowadays I realise it doesn't matter your sexuality- monogamy means 'missing out' on other people, but of course you gain so much more
G 2 years ago
As a straight woman, it's neutral - neither a turnoff nor a turn-on. If anything, I'd be more concerned about whether the relationship would last b/c I'd be worried that he'd need to find someone else to meet his needs/desires (no matter how much I did). It would take a lot of trust-building (for me) to be in a relationship w/ a bi man.
crowspectre (he/they) 2 years ago
I'm bi but thankfully I prefer men so I don't have to deal with the weird homophobes in the comments here
Saeyoul Akiyune 1 year ago (edited)
Admittedly, gay men are a turn-on for me 😅; so yes, bi men are quite attractive but the same "relationship rule(s)" still applies: no cheating, no abusing, etc... (I watch a lot of boy love Asian dramas and I just think it's super cute when same-sex couples are together (yes, I'm an ally!))
Lene 2 years ago
If you're in a relationship with that bi man and you agree not to have any partners on the side.... who cares if he is bi or pan or whatever? He is with you because of you and you should be with him because of him. His previous/future partners shouldn't be an issue. Am I wrong about this?
MrsFettesVette 2 years ago
Totally neutral to me, a bi man is no more likely to cheat or not than a man who is completely straight
Explore more of these tags
What do you think ?
Jessica Bertram 2 years ago
i like this. many of the questions asked were thoughtful; most answers attempted to be general enough to encompass the experience for most women. But that Friend Zone question was....super cringey and felt like a Nice Guy™️ asked it..
Caro Caro 2 years ago
I liked the wording of the men - very respectful. The honest answers were lovely and I think that most men can learn something. Great for the younger generation too.
Load More Replies... 
TK 421 2 years ago
We were raised to just talk to a person if we were curious about so emerging that they would know the answer to. I never understood the “fear” of asking. That lady at the store I saw as a kid sniffing the boxes of strawberries taught me that, “If they smell ripe, they’re ripe. If they have no smell, they’re not ready and have no flavor.” Never would have known if I hadn’t just asked. Same goes for relationships. I like the person, so I tell them. If they’re into playing games and acting immature about it? I know right away I dodged a bullet.
Tyranamar Seuss 2 years ago
If a man is walking behind me I always step to the side, face sideways, and let him pass. Gets rid of all the awkward.
Snow_White 2 years ago
Very good explanations from women but the questions...it's like the men are still asking for women to confirm that women are human and must be treated as a dignified human being.
Alejandra Lima 2 years ago
I like these kind of questions! The answers can teach so much to men, other women, very young girls, even old generation women who haven''t had the chance to live many of these things.
Apatheist Account2 2 years ago
I wish this had been on the curriculum 45 years ago. This is the most useful article ever, well done to whoever devised it. Sorry ladies, but we just don't get taught this stuff, so don't expect us to know.
Ivy at Eve 2 years ago
I loved the "it is less awkward to have the safe sex/condim talk than the dad I'm pregant talk. I know a few women who better take this to heart as well. About the question if women remark more than men? No, not always, I generally don't notice if someone had a haircut for instance (unless they are suddenly a redhead or a significant change in cut/length).
Jessica Bertram 2 years ago
i like this. many of the questions asked were thoughtful; most answers attempted to be general enough to encompass the experience for most women. But that Friend Zone question was....super cringey and felt like a Nice Guy™️ asked it..
Caro Caro 2 years ago
I liked the wording of the men - very respectful. The honest answers were lovely and I think that most men can learn something. Great for the younger generation too.
Load More Replies... TK 421 2 years ago
We were raised to just talk to a person if we were curious about so emerging that they would know the answer to. I never understood the “fear” of asking. That lady at the store I saw as a kid sniffing the boxes of strawberries taught me that, “If they smell ripe, they’re ripe. If they have no smell, they’re not ready and have no flavor.” Never would have known if I hadn’t just asked. Same goes for relationships. I like the person, so I tell them. If they’re into playing games and acting immature about it? I know right away I dodged a bullet.
Tyranamar Seuss 2 years ago
If a man is walking behind me I always step to the side, face sideways, and let him pass. Gets rid of all the awkward.
Snow_White 2 years ago
Very good explanations from women but the questions...it's like the men are still asking for women to confirm that women are human and must be treated as a dignified human being.
Alejandra Lima 2 years ago
I like these kind of questions! The answers can teach so much to men, other women, very young girls, even old generation women who haven''t had the chance to live many of these things.
Apatheist Account2 2 years ago
I wish this had been on the curriculum 45 years ago. This is the most useful article ever, well done to whoever devised it. Sorry ladies, but we just don't get taught this stuff, so don't expect us to know.
Ivy at Eve 2 years ago
I loved the "it is less awkward to have the safe sex/condim talk than the dad I'm pregant talk. I know a few women who better take this to heart as well. About the question if women remark more than men? No, not always, I generally don't notice if someone had a haircut for instance (unless they are suddenly a redhead or a significant change in cut/length).
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