“Why Are You Being Like This”: Woman Gives Husband An Ultimatum To Start A Family
Politics in the United States have been tumultuous for years, pushing many people to pack their bags and find greener pastures elsewhere. Given the unfavorable views of recently elected President Donald Trump, this trend may continue through his second term in office.
The author of this story is in a similar position in that she refuses to have children in the US. She then gave her husband an ultimatum: either leave the country, go child-free, or divorce. The man seemed offended by the proposal and questioned her motives.
The woman was at a loss for words and turned to the internet for answers and clarity. Scroll down to read the entire text.
Many American citizens feel uneasy about the country’s current political climate
Image credits: Image by Freepik (not the actual photo)
A woman refuses to have children in the US and told her husband about it
Image credits: Image by Freepik (not the actual photo)
She then gave him an ultimatum, which he didn’t appreciate
Image credits: ThrowRAFeeltogd
Donald Trump’s presidency drove many people away in 2016 and is doing so again in 2024
The story’s author is part of the demographic of Americans who want to leave the country after Donald Trump’s recent election win. A 64-year-old Chicago-based lawyer named David told Fortune about his plans to move to Portugal.
The man, who requested anonymity, disclosed his lingering fears of harassment, along with concerns of a toxic political climate. As he told the publication, he had been scouting for a home since April with a $500,000 budget.
“This country of mine has become intolerant,” he said, while also stating he had made peace with the fact that he “could be shot dead at any moment” in the US. The threat of gun violence was one of David’s many reasons to move 4,500 miles across the Atlantic.
Trump’s first term in 2016 forced many Americans to move to Canada. A 2020 report by CTV News revealed that more than 6,800 people attempted to apply for permanent residency in the country in 2015. The following year, the number grew to 7,700, jumping again in 2017 to more than 9,000.
Canada is still a top choice among US citizens planning to flee the country to avoid Trump’s second term in office. According to a report by NDTV World, Google searches for “move to Canada” spiked by 1,270% within 24 hours after the East Coast finalized the polls on Tuesday. New Zealand and Australia are also top choices.
The apprehension and concerns of many people like the author are understandable. Feeling unsafe in your own country must be unsettling, and it likely pushed her to give the strict ultimatum.
Reframing the potential sacrifices can help couples power through and finalize a significant life decision
Image credits: Image by Freepik (not the actual photo)
The author has felt uneasy about living in the US for the past three years, which means she has been carrying quite a heavy burden for some time now. As a spouse, the husband should at least hear her out.
Experts advise against individualism in discussions about such significant decisions. In an interview with GQ, psychology professor Dr. Kelly Campbell encourages people to ask what’s best for the relationship instead of what favors the individual.
“Stay on each other’s team,” she emphasized.
Couples therapist Irina Firstein, LCSW, echoed a similar sentiment. In the same GQ interview, she advised the person compromising to reframe their thoughts to avoid resentment.
“Feel good that you are the strong one in the relationship because you can tolerate better than the other person not having your way,” she said.
It may benefit the couple to have a lengthy conversation if necessary. They should weigh the pros and cons and see what works best for the situation. If it comes down to a divorce, they aren’t compatible.
What do you think, readers? How should the couple handle their situation?
Some commenters sided with the author and offered her some advice
Others accused her of “being overly dramatic” and chided her for “wanting to ruin her marriage over a president”
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I bet every negative reply she got was from.... i'll give you 3 guesses and the first two don't count). But yeah, I don't blame her at all. If I had the means, I'd move to New Zealand or Iceland or Scotland or Switzerland or Sweden or ... since I'm getting tired of people and need a severe people break, maybe move temporarily to Svalbard Island. Polar bears would be less threatening and deadly than those terrifying evangelical extremists that Trump's moved and is moving in all formats of the government. (Did I say Trump? I meant 'the malignant Cancer'. He was a growing tumor during the past 8 years and he's finally metastasized.) They want to not just do a complete abortion ban Countrywide, but also have been and are clucking about banning all contraception. Watch them ban IVF also. "You don't want to birth a baby? we'll force you to" "You desperately want a baby but can't conceive naturally and want IVF? We're banning that, sorry not sorry." Repulsive.
Uh oh, "man vs bear" again but this time it's "Trumper vs polar bear". ;)
Load More Replies...Quoting a former coworker, get out while you can. I'm too old to make that move otherwise I would in a heartbeat. The next few years are going to be very difficult for a whole lot of people, but more so for a woman. So many people so filled with hate that feel like this is the best alternative.
The ONLY thing that will make me feel pure, total schadenfreude is the fact that the great great majority who voted for Trump (basically women, latinos, poc, elderly & most caucasian men) WEILL be regretting what they've done. They've voted against their own interests and it's going to bite them hard. "I never thought the Leopard would eat MY face!" Says the person who voted for the 'Leopards Eating Peoples Faces' Party. I tell ya, the reddit group called LeopardsAteMyFace is going to be my GoTo place most of the next 4 years, if just to laugh at them and talk c**p about how dumb they were. I DO feel bad for the rest of us who didn't vote for the Narcissistic Cancer. Everyone innocent will suffer and i hate it.
Load More Replies...Why anyone with other options would raise children in a place where they have active shooter drills is beyond me.
Interesting how the YTAs claim that the issues only exist in the media
That's because conservative news doesn't report all the stuff they don't want them to see, and promotes lies. Reds only watch /believe these news sources so they never learn the truth.
Load More Replies..."Who the hell throws their life plans away over politics?" How can people be so stupidly delusional? Or are they just a bunch of imbeciles? Politics is EVERYTHING. Jesus Christ! I can't believe any adult with half a functional neurone fails to understand politics determines your whole life!!! Health care, basic rights, education for your children, peace and war... EVERYTHING IS POLITICS. I think OP is dead right. There are a lot of countries I wouldn't go to, let alone live in, if I had half the chance to choose, obviously, and the USA is in that list. I don't even feel like visiting it, despite all the beautiful landscapes and cosmopolitan cities. No way. Too risky, and turning into a heartless Gilead at top speed. Those who can, run as fast as you can. (By the way, I'm a middle-aged European citizen... Single. We do have our fair share of problems, but I would be willing to help...
We can help with small stuff. I donated to planned parenthood yesterday since I feel that's all I can do. Find a cause.
Load More Replies...OPs feeling are very relevant no matter who agrees or doesn't because it's how she feels. One thing she could offer as a benifit is medical care in Canada, housing costs, lack of gun crime... but really push the health care - pregnancy is high risk for even perfectly healthy women, so many things can go wrong and that will cost thousands in the US. It's close enough to the US to make visits possible and if the children are born in Canada a Canadian passport is open to more countries than the US. Personally I would leave the USA even without OPs reason. It feels like it's a very unsafe country right now and has been getting worse over the last 8years
It's not about politics but about safety.. and if you can improve your safety without hurting others go for it.
But it IS about politics, because only one party doesn’t care about women.
Load More Replies...Honestly our country is starting to scare me right now and I'm a Cherokee/ white woman born here!! Which at least keeps me safe from the people hunting " illegals"( except the few who see all dark skin as an offense) , but since Trump just won presidency again and after how last time went, alot of us are scared now. Seriously everyone stay safe out there!
I emigrated to the UK almost 30 years ago. Best thing I've ever done in my life and I am not ever moving back. My girls have dual citizenship and they don't want to visit or move there and I don't blame them one bit. I know we have our probs here....the economy (thanks Tories for the austerity policies for 14 years for tanking social services and lettuce Liz with her mini budget), but I would hands-down take this over that. My heart goes out to fellow Americans who are stuck in this nightmare and can't escape.
Terrifying that it’s only men, including her husband, who are saying OP is being unreasonable. They’re the ones who benefit from having that a*****e and his entire political party in charge (personally, I believe there actually WAS a load of fraudulent activity going on with ballots and vote counts, perpetrated by republicans, but I know my party isn’t goin to the extremes the other side went to in 2020). But one day soon, the full effects will drop on them, and they’ll realize their mistake in not listening to the women in their lives.
Ignoring the election and politics and all that. OP is scared to the point where she doesn't see it as safe to raise a family in the US, and all her husband does is asking why she's being like that. Shouldn't he be a bit more concerned that his wife is for some reason terrified of living in his home country? Even if he thinks her concerns are silly or unfounded he should care more that his wife is ready to give up on a decade of a relationship over this. Why does he seem like he doesn't care or is annoyed at most?
I'm an American who moved to Canada seven years ago. One of the best decisions I've ever made. They've recently made immigrating here harder. Don't wait till it's impossible.
As I read it, OP is a Canadian citizen, so no issues with immigration.
Load More Replies...Don't blame her one bit. For me the biggest issue with the USA is gun control, or lack thereof. Can't believe pre-school age kids need to learn active shooter drills. And no, American citizens, sorry but I really don't want to hear about your ''freedoms'' or ''right to bear arms'', because you can't see what the rest of world sees from the outside looking in. And not even mentioning the Roe V Wade thing because it makes my blood absolutely boil.
"you can't see what the rest of world sees from the outside looking in" that sums it up perfectly for some people. It's good to be proud of your country but not to the point of fanaticism and/or delusion about serious issues
Load More Replies...I'm glad my children are grown and flown, but I really do fear for my four granddaughters. In today's world, I wouldn't have children in the US, either. I'm not sure I'd even have children at all because of the climate mess.
I haven't had children. I wanted to, but I knew it was not a good idea. Best decision ever. Even "good" countries are getting increasingly difficult for the younger generations, and the ecological crisis will explode soon like a bomb. I didn't want to give the system more slaves or create more overpopulation. This is the end.
Load More Replies...Same thing but Russia. Came here in 2017, didn't really know much about the political situation. Wanted to leave for 2,5 years. Almost a decade-long relationship (I moved here for my bf). Now getting my ducks in order and hopefully will go back to UK in 2 months. I'm 31 and newly single, it's scary, I'm leaving an amazing job. But I was truly unhappy with everything going on.
I live in South Africa and things can be difficult here. Electricity issues, water issues, public works issues... But birth control is legal. Ab0rtion is legal. Children don't get shot at school. We have great weather, great national parks, great beaches and mountains, great wildlife. Wouldn't move to the US if you paid me.
You don't need to explain it better. If both parties aren't an enthusiastic yes on having kids, it's a no. And if you're miserable and moving would change that, that's what needs to happen. A partner that doesn't care that you're miserable is not worth staying for, and won't be a good father.
She should get out while she still can, the rare woman with those options. Many of my US friends in Taiwan are refusing to go back for ANYTHING for the next four years, permanently if necessary. To all women in yankland, look up the 4B movement from South Korea: NO dating. NO sex. NO relationships. NO marriage. And divorce NOW while you still can, some women already are. Give the trumpkins four years of blueballs. [ https://www.cbsnews.com/news/4b-movement-south-korea-united-states-election-trump/ ] Predictably, idiots are saying, "they'll just rape women then" AS IF THAT IS THE APPROPRIATE RESPONSE TO BEING DENIED SEX? Seriously, they're saying "women deserve it if they won't put out"?
I'm am militanly anti-gun. I saw a post the other day that said "4B? No, 2A." and it made me laugh my head off.
Load More Replies...I will formally forward an invitation to all women and other sane people to come to Norway.
Can I come from Canada? We are getting an increasingly vocal far right party and I am not aa big fan of the current government either. Thankfully we do have a multi party political system so there is a bit of hope for our future.
Load More Replies...i'm looking to move out of the country. i've never even been to another country, but it's clear most of the US doesn't care about me and actively wants me to leave. i just want to live in a place that cares about people.
I am actively encouraging my kids to get out of here as soon as they are able. My daughter is 19 and planning her escape in the next year. She has already said that she would never, ever, ever consider raising children here, and it's only going to get worse. Leave while you can.
Well wishes to all those of you wanting to leave the USA (and for what it matters coming from an atheist, prayers to those of you who have dieties/spiritual beliefs of any kind).
My daughter and I will have EU citizenship in the next few months. My health isn't good, so I probably won't get back to Europe, but she can. I told my wife that if she wants to go, it will be difficult for me but I would do it. As the spouse of an EU citizen, if I die while we reside in the EU, she can remain permanently. I hate it here now and don't care for/about this place anymore. Hate and punishing others is the majority, nothing to do with unity or protection. I feel like everything I ever thought of America was a lie.
"what's the worst that can happen?" ... Most of the time the worst doesn't happen. Not even close. But sometimes it DOES, and then it's REALLY bad. No one knows exactly how it will play out, but the US is not a safe space for women right now. Wanting to move to a safer space is not irrational or crazy. (Though Canada sure likes to try to emulate its big brother USA. Things are getting dicey here too. Hopefully we can turn it around better).
Having visited LA for the first and last time a year back, I don't know how anyone with a functioning synapse in their head could live there.
I would understand the "Its only 4 years" thing if we hadn't seen 12 years of this come out of the USA already, let alone Trump telling his supporters if they vote for him they would never have to vote again. I still don't trust the results and feel it needs a hand recount
Moved to USA 14yrs ago for the American Dream, quickly realized this was not a positive place to raise children. When Roe v. Wade was reversed, it was the straw that broke the camels back. Have been saving and organizing to move me and my 2 cats back to Scotland, the idea of living in USA for the rest of my life is just too depressing. Can't disagree with OP's feelings. Have plenty of Americans disagreeing with me, but those are ones who've never owned a passport, never left the country, and have no idea how the rest of the world runs to make a valid comparison.
I would start making arrangements immediately. Discuss with husband "how much you think we should market the house for. Do we need to sell the car. If we make $Cxxx in the US, what will that achieve in Canada. Where in Canada do we want to live." Not in a confrontational manner, but conversation. Research processes for shutting down the utilities, paying the mortgage / car off.
It is no longer safe in the US for a woman to get pregnant. Sad as that is, it's that simple. One never knows how a pregnancy will go. If it goes wrong, you die because now doctors risk their own freedom to fix it. If the husband can't see how dangerous it is in the US just to get pregnant, then he is a problem. Literally now when a woman gets pregnant she knows she is risking her life. She and the baby could die and it's happening already. If she can leave the US she should. I was born in Canada, raised in the US and came back to Canada on 08. I will not step foot in the US again and it hurts to say that as I love the US. Or should I say I love the US I was brought up in which is not what it is now. I know how hard it is to leave someone you love, but if the husband can't see the issue then he is not paying attention or just doesn't believe it.
Smart woman. I really don't think anyone would be overreacting to think like her. They've literally said they are men's retribution against women. They said the quiet part out loud.
I'd sell my soul to the devil to move all of us to another country. I'm so terrified for my 5 grandbabies, especially my 3 little girly ones. I would throw myself on a grenade for them, but I just don't have the money to get 9 people out of here. 😭
I refuse to get pregnant in any state where I can't receive an abortion. Childbirth is still one of the number one causes of premature death for women of childbearing age. I have an IUD and it isn't going anywhere unless I live in a state where I can get medical care. Absolutely insane. Florida voted and 57% voted for abortion but needs 60% to pass. Trying to sign a lease on a place in Colorado now actually. Thought a lot about living overseas, might still. Just not sure about immigration policies for places and how long the process would take.
Darlin I was born here and my kids are young adults. One of the most difficult things for me to deal with for the past week has been the fact that I brought them into a world where this was going to happen. My son is learning disabled, and this is clearly not a climate where I expect him to get a whole lot of empathy, when we have a president whom so many people voted for, twice now, even after seeing him, mocking it, disabled person. And my daughter, while I’m concerned about her for obvious reasons. We are all in the process of getting our passports. if you are able to have and raise children somewhere else in my opinion, you should absolutely do it. A lot of people who voted for him. Dont think he will do half of the things we all seem to be concerned about. Personally, I am concerned about the fact that so many of my country men are fine with taking that gamble on other peoples rights.
It's not just four years, as the negative people here says. Trump isn't president now, and people are already dying with dead or dying fetuses in their bodies. Politics are guidelines for how to live in our society. Saying "why ruin your marriage over politics?" is like saying "why ruin your abusive marriage just to stay alive?". I'm not American, but I am concerned for Americans and for the rest of the world. DT is dangerous, instable and narcissistic. I’m so sorry that too many in your country are too old-fashioned to be able to accept a woman president. The Democrats did the same error twice, of putting a woman candidate against the horrible misogynist. Too many guys are afraid that others getting the same rights that they take for granted, means that they will lose some of those rights.
your word is absolute. you have to carry the child to term and youd likely be the one doing the work. if you dont want a family in the shithole states, then dont. nothing he can do. ever.
Let me be the first to welcome you to Canada if you decide to come here... We can always use more engineers. I wonder where you would decide to settle? So many people look for the big city areas of BC and Ontario (or Quebec if you speak French well)... Having traveled across Canada a number of times, I think there's a lot to be said for the prairie provinces and the Atlantic provinces not to mention the North but, it may be too much of a lifestyle adjustment for you and of course it would depend on what other services you need and your job prospects. Southern Ontario is way overpopulated. It's not "awful", but it's changed so much in the past 10 or so years... (You probably won't love the taxes either) I hope that you find a place that will bring you peace and love and where you will feel safe to raise a family 💜
I hope you will consider British Columbia if you are coming to Canada. We are a young, laid-back province with good prospects for hard workers.
Load More Replies...Don't set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm. She's neck deep in the sunk cost fallacy.
I always wanted to visit America when I was younger, but I’m glad I’m halfway around the world at the moment. I can’t fathom the idea of needing to be worried about my kids going to school and getting shot, or not being able to access an abortion even if I was raped, or if having the baby would kill me. I’m so sorry for everyone that is scared or upset as a result of your recent election and am thinking of you. (Attempted mood-lightener: come to Australia! We have dropbears 😆)
I'd love to move to Iceland or Ireland since I've been there before. If it was as easy for foreigners to get a job in other countries as it is in the US, I would have been out of this crapstack country years ago.
I'd move if I could afford it. And I'm not even of childbearing age anymore! Women's rights and autonomy are being taken away, and don't get me started on anybody who isn't white. But, they say things get worse before they get better. Hopefully this is the bad part, and all of the dark ages troglodytes and bible thumpers will die off or be voted out.
If you have the money and you can afford to leave the USA (and yes I do mean USA citizens) then leave. Move to a country that is a little more safe and has a little more respect for people whether they are male, female, straight, gay, transgender, Christian atheist, Muslim, 19 or 91, black, white, hispanic, disabled or fully abled. 🤷♀️😞
Also, I don't think there's a "bad guy" in this relationship problem. Sometimes even great relationships come to an impasse; where what's best for each individual is down diverging paths. Sounds like they need to have some solid conversations around current and future needs and those hard truths about if they can meet then together or not.
It's about culture. American culture is all about hating the other side and wanting to hurt them, not caring that our people are dying from lax gun laws and abortion bans, and who ever isn't on your side is the enemy. Why would you want to live in a community like that? Not to mention that the US is the only major country that doesn't provide paid sick/parental leave, healthcare. Our prescriptions costs are the highest in the world. Many other developed countries pay for their citizens to get a bachelor degree. They have much less corruption in the political system and aren't allowing the oligarchs to take control. US has highest pay disparity between rich and poor of any country. We are trying to move out of the US for the same reason- we don't want our kids to think this is normal or ok.
It's ok honey. The men are going to take care of everything. You'll be better off for it.
1. Perhaps the most apt screen name I've encountered. 2. You've probably made OP's case better than she did. 3. Canada navigated Covid in a competent way - it was just a minority (thankfully) of crybabies like you who couldn't be inconvenienced to save lives. 4. Netanyahu is not the "president of the jews", you f**king moron. He's the PRIME MIINISTER of Israel. A State. Not head of the Jewish religion.
Load More Replies...I bet every negative reply she got was from.... i'll give you 3 guesses and the first two don't count). But yeah, I don't blame her at all. If I had the means, I'd move to New Zealand or Iceland or Scotland or Switzerland or Sweden or ... since I'm getting tired of people and need a severe people break, maybe move temporarily to Svalbard Island. Polar bears would be less threatening and deadly than those terrifying evangelical extremists that Trump's moved and is moving in all formats of the government. (Did I say Trump? I meant 'the malignant Cancer'. He was a growing tumor during the past 8 years and he's finally metastasized.) They want to not just do a complete abortion ban Countrywide, but also have been and are clucking about banning all contraception. Watch them ban IVF also. "You don't want to birth a baby? we'll force you to" "You desperately want a baby but can't conceive naturally and want IVF? We're banning that, sorry not sorry." Repulsive.
Uh oh, "man vs bear" again but this time it's "Trumper vs polar bear". ;)
Load More Replies...Quoting a former coworker, get out while you can. I'm too old to make that move otherwise I would in a heartbeat. The next few years are going to be very difficult for a whole lot of people, but more so for a woman. So many people so filled with hate that feel like this is the best alternative.
The ONLY thing that will make me feel pure, total schadenfreude is the fact that the great great majority who voted for Trump (basically women, latinos, poc, elderly & most caucasian men) WEILL be regretting what they've done. They've voted against their own interests and it's going to bite them hard. "I never thought the Leopard would eat MY face!" Says the person who voted for the 'Leopards Eating Peoples Faces' Party. I tell ya, the reddit group called LeopardsAteMyFace is going to be my GoTo place most of the next 4 years, if just to laugh at them and talk c**p about how dumb they were. I DO feel bad for the rest of us who didn't vote for the Narcissistic Cancer. Everyone innocent will suffer and i hate it.
Load More Replies...Why anyone with other options would raise children in a place where they have active shooter drills is beyond me.
Interesting how the YTAs claim that the issues only exist in the media
That's because conservative news doesn't report all the stuff they don't want them to see, and promotes lies. Reds only watch /believe these news sources so they never learn the truth.
Load More Replies..."Who the hell throws their life plans away over politics?" How can people be so stupidly delusional? Or are they just a bunch of imbeciles? Politics is EVERYTHING. Jesus Christ! I can't believe any adult with half a functional neurone fails to understand politics determines your whole life!!! Health care, basic rights, education for your children, peace and war... EVERYTHING IS POLITICS. I think OP is dead right. There are a lot of countries I wouldn't go to, let alone live in, if I had half the chance to choose, obviously, and the USA is in that list. I don't even feel like visiting it, despite all the beautiful landscapes and cosmopolitan cities. No way. Too risky, and turning into a heartless Gilead at top speed. Those who can, run as fast as you can. (By the way, I'm a middle-aged European citizen... Single. We do have our fair share of problems, but I would be willing to help...
We can help with small stuff. I donated to planned parenthood yesterday since I feel that's all I can do. Find a cause.
Load More Replies...OPs feeling are very relevant no matter who agrees or doesn't because it's how she feels. One thing she could offer as a benifit is medical care in Canada, housing costs, lack of gun crime... but really push the health care - pregnancy is high risk for even perfectly healthy women, so many things can go wrong and that will cost thousands in the US. It's close enough to the US to make visits possible and if the children are born in Canada a Canadian passport is open to more countries than the US. Personally I would leave the USA even without OPs reason. It feels like it's a very unsafe country right now and has been getting worse over the last 8years
It's not about politics but about safety.. and if you can improve your safety without hurting others go for it.
But it IS about politics, because only one party doesn’t care about women.
Load More Replies...Honestly our country is starting to scare me right now and I'm a Cherokee/ white woman born here!! Which at least keeps me safe from the people hunting " illegals"( except the few who see all dark skin as an offense) , but since Trump just won presidency again and after how last time went, alot of us are scared now. Seriously everyone stay safe out there!
I emigrated to the UK almost 30 years ago. Best thing I've ever done in my life and I am not ever moving back. My girls have dual citizenship and they don't want to visit or move there and I don't blame them one bit. I know we have our probs here....the economy (thanks Tories for the austerity policies for 14 years for tanking social services and lettuce Liz with her mini budget), but I would hands-down take this over that. My heart goes out to fellow Americans who are stuck in this nightmare and can't escape.
Terrifying that it’s only men, including her husband, who are saying OP is being unreasonable. They’re the ones who benefit from having that a*****e and his entire political party in charge (personally, I believe there actually WAS a load of fraudulent activity going on with ballots and vote counts, perpetrated by republicans, but I know my party isn’t goin to the extremes the other side went to in 2020). But one day soon, the full effects will drop on them, and they’ll realize their mistake in not listening to the women in their lives.
Ignoring the election and politics and all that. OP is scared to the point where she doesn't see it as safe to raise a family in the US, and all her husband does is asking why she's being like that. Shouldn't he be a bit more concerned that his wife is for some reason terrified of living in his home country? Even if he thinks her concerns are silly or unfounded he should care more that his wife is ready to give up on a decade of a relationship over this. Why does he seem like he doesn't care or is annoyed at most?
I'm an American who moved to Canada seven years ago. One of the best decisions I've ever made. They've recently made immigrating here harder. Don't wait till it's impossible.
As I read it, OP is a Canadian citizen, so no issues with immigration.
Load More Replies...Don't blame her one bit. For me the biggest issue with the USA is gun control, or lack thereof. Can't believe pre-school age kids need to learn active shooter drills. And no, American citizens, sorry but I really don't want to hear about your ''freedoms'' or ''right to bear arms'', because you can't see what the rest of world sees from the outside looking in. And not even mentioning the Roe V Wade thing because it makes my blood absolutely boil.
"you can't see what the rest of world sees from the outside looking in" that sums it up perfectly for some people. It's good to be proud of your country but not to the point of fanaticism and/or delusion about serious issues
Load More Replies...I'm glad my children are grown and flown, but I really do fear for my four granddaughters. In today's world, I wouldn't have children in the US, either. I'm not sure I'd even have children at all because of the climate mess.
I haven't had children. I wanted to, but I knew it was not a good idea. Best decision ever. Even "good" countries are getting increasingly difficult for the younger generations, and the ecological crisis will explode soon like a bomb. I didn't want to give the system more slaves or create more overpopulation. This is the end.
Load More Replies...Same thing but Russia. Came here in 2017, didn't really know much about the political situation. Wanted to leave for 2,5 years. Almost a decade-long relationship (I moved here for my bf). Now getting my ducks in order and hopefully will go back to UK in 2 months. I'm 31 and newly single, it's scary, I'm leaving an amazing job. But I was truly unhappy with everything going on.
I live in South Africa and things can be difficult here. Electricity issues, water issues, public works issues... But birth control is legal. Ab0rtion is legal. Children don't get shot at school. We have great weather, great national parks, great beaches and mountains, great wildlife. Wouldn't move to the US if you paid me.
You don't need to explain it better. If both parties aren't an enthusiastic yes on having kids, it's a no. And if you're miserable and moving would change that, that's what needs to happen. A partner that doesn't care that you're miserable is not worth staying for, and won't be a good father.
She should get out while she still can, the rare woman with those options. Many of my US friends in Taiwan are refusing to go back for ANYTHING for the next four years, permanently if necessary. To all women in yankland, look up the 4B movement from South Korea: NO dating. NO sex. NO relationships. NO marriage. And divorce NOW while you still can, some women already are. Give the trumpkins four years of blueballs. [ https://www.cbsnews.com/news/4b-movement-south-korea-united-states-election-trump/ ] Predictably, idiots are saying, "they'll just rape women then" AS IF THAT IS THE APPROPRIATE RESPONSE TO BEING DENIED SEX? Seriously, they're saying "women deserve it if they won't put out"?
I'm am militanly anti-gun. I saw a post the other day that said "4B? No, 2A." and it made me laugh my head off.
Load More Replies...I will formally forward an invitation to all women and other sane people to come to Norway.
Can I come from Canada? We are getting an increasingly vocal far right party and I am not aa big fan of the current government either. Thankfully we do have a multi party political system so there is a bit of hope for our future.
Load More Replies...i'm looking to move out of the country. i've never even been to another country, but it's clear most of the US doesn't care about me and actively wants me to leave. i just want to live in a place that cares about people.
I am actively encouraging my kids to get out of here as soon as they are able. My daughter is 19 and planning her escape in the next year. She has already said that she would never, ever, ever consider raising children here, and it's only going to get worse. Leave while you can.
Well wishes to all those of you wanting to leave the USA (and for what it matters coming from an atheist, prayers to those of you who have dieties/spiritual beliefs of any kind).
My daughter and I will have EU citizenship in the next few months. My health isn't good, so I probably won't get back to Europe, but she can. I told my wife that if she wants to go, it will be difficult for me but I would do it. As the spouse of an EU citizen, if I die while we reside in the EU, she can remain permanently. I hate it here now and don't care for/about this place anymore. Hate and punishing others is the majority, nothing to do with unity or protection. I feel like everything I ever thought of America was a lie.
"what's the worst that can happen?" ... Most of the time the worst doesn't happen. Not even close. But sometimes it DOES, and then it's REALLY bad. No one knows exactly how it will play out, but the US is not a safe space for women right now. Wanting to move to a safer space is not irrational or crazy. (Though Canada sure likes to try to emulate its big brother USA. Things are getting dicey here too. Hopefully we can turn it around better).
Having visited LA for the first and last time a year back, I don't know how anyone with a functioning synapse in their head could live there.
I would understand the "Its only 4 years" thing if we hadn't seen 12 years of this come out of the USA already, let alone Trump telling his supporters if they vote for him they would never have to vote again. I still don't trust the results and feel it needs a hand recount
Moved to USA 14yrs ago for the American Dream, quickly realized this was not a positive place to raise children. When Roe v. Wade was reversed, it was the straw that broke the camels back. Have been saving and organizing to move me and my 2 cats back to Scotland, the idea of living in USA for the rest of my life is just too depressing. Can't disagree with OP's feelings. Have plenty of Americans disagreeing with me, but those are ones who've never owned a passport, never left the country, and have no idea how the rest of the world runs to make a valid comparison.
I would start making arrangements immediately. Discuss with husband "how much you think we should market the house for. Do we need to sell the car. If we make $Cxxx in the US, what will that achieve in Canada. Where in Canada do we want to live." Not in a confrontational manner, but conversation. Research processes for shutting down the utilities, paying the mortgage / car off.
It is no longer safe in the US for a woman to get pregnant. Sad as that is, it's that simple. One never knows how a pregnancy will go. If it goes wrong, you die because now doctors risk their own freedom to fix it. If the husband can't see how dangerous it is in the US just to get pregnant, then he is a problem. Literally now when a woman gets pregnant she knows she is risking her life. She and the baby could die and it's happening already. If she can leave the US she should. I was born in Canada, raised in the US and came back to Canada on 08. I will not step foot in the US again and it hurts to say that as I love the US. Or should I say I love the US I was brought up in which is not what it is now. I know how hard it is to leave someone you love, but if the husband can't see the issue then he is not paying attention or just doesn't believe it.
Smart woman. I really don't think anyone would be overreacting to think like her. They've literally said they are men's retribution against women. They said the quiet part out loud.
I'd sell my soul to the devil to move all of us to another country. I'm so terrified for my 5 grandbabies, especially my 3 little girly ones. I would throw myself on a grenade for them, but I just don't have the money to get 9 people out of here. 😭
I refuse to get pregnant in any state where I can't receive an abortion. Childbirth is still one of the number one causes of premature death for women of childbearing age. I have an IUD and it isn't going anywhere unless I live in a state where I can get medical care. Absolutely insane. Florida voted and 57% voted for abortion but needs 60% to pass. Trying to sign a lease on a place in Colorado now actually. Thought a lot about living overseas, might still. Just not sure about immigration policies for places and how long the process would take.
Darlin I was born here and my kids are young adults. One of the most difficult things for me to deal with for the past week has been the fact that I brought them into a world where this was going to happen. My son is learning disabled, and this is clearly not a climate where I expect him to get a whole lot of empathy, when we have a president whom so many people voted for, twice now, even after seeing him, mocking it, disabled person. And my daughter, while I’m concerned about her for obvious reasons. We are all in the process of getting our passports. if you are able to have and raise children somewhere else in my opinion, you should absolutely do it. A lot of people who voted for him. Dont think he will do half of the things we all seem to be concerned about. Personally, I am concerned about the fact that so many of my country men are fine with taking that gamble on other peoples rights.
It's not just four years, as the negative people here says. Trump isn't president now, and people are already dying with dead or dying fetuses in their bodies. Politics are guidelines for how to live in our society. Saying "why ruin your marriage over politics?" is like saying "why ruin your abusive marriage just to stay alive?". I'm not American, but I am concerned for Americans and for the rest of the world. DT is dangerous, instable and narcissistic. I’m so sorry that too many in your country are too old-fashioned to be able to accept a woman president. The Democrats did the same error twice, of putting a woman candidate against the horrible misogynist. Too many guys are afraid that others getting the same rights that they take for granted, means that they will lose some of those rights.
your word is absolute. you have to carry the child to term and youd likely be the one doing the work. if you dont want a family in the shithole states, then dont. nothing he can do. ever.
Let me be the first to welcome you to Canada if you decide to come here... We can always use more engineers. I wonder where you would decide to settle? So many people look for the big city areas of BC and Ontario (or Quebec if you speak French well)... Having traveled across Canada a number of times, I think there's a lot to be said for the prairie provinces and the Atlantic provinces not to mention the North but, it may be too much of a lifestyle adjustment for you and of course it would depend on what other services you need and your job prospects. Southern Ontario is way overpopulated. It's not "awful", but it's changed so much in the past 10 or so years... (You probably won't love the taxes either) I hope that you find a place that will bring you peace and love and where you will feel safe to raise a family 💜
I hope you will consider British Columbia if you are coming to Canada. We are a young, laid-back province with good prospects for hard workers.
Load More Replies...Don't set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm. She's neck deep in the sunk cost fallacy.
I always wanted to visit America when I was younger, but I’m glad I’m halfway around the world at the moment. I can’t fathom the idea of needing to be worried about my kids going to school and getting shot, or not being able to access an abortion even if I was raped, or if having the baby would kill me. I’m so sorry for everyone that is scared or upset as a result of your recent election and am thinking of you. (Attempted mood-lightener: come to Australia! We have dropbears 😆)
I'd love to move to Iceland or Ireland since I've been there before. If it was as easy for foreigners to get a job in other countries as it is in the US, I would have been out of this crapstack country years ago.
I'd move if I could afford it. And I'm not even of childbearing age anymore! Women's rights and autonomy are being taken away, and don't get me started on anybody who isn't white. But, they say things get worse before they get better. Hopefully this is the bad part, and all of the dark ages troglodytes and bible thumpers will die off or be voted out.
If you have the money and you can afford to leave the USA (and yes I do mean USA citizens) then leave. Move to a country that is a little more safe and has a little more respect for people whether they are male, female, straight, gay, transgender, Christian atheist, Muslim, 19 or 91, black, white, hispanic, disabled or fully abled. 🤷♀️😞
Also, I don't think there's a "bad guy" in this relationship problem. Sometimes even great relationships come to an impasse; where what's best for each individual is down diverging paths. Sounds like they need to have some solid conversations around current and future needs and those hard truths about if they can meet then together or not.
It's about culture. American culture is all about hating the other side and wanting to hurt them, not caring that our people are dying from lax gun laws and abortion bans, and who ever isn't on your side is the enemy. Why would you want to live in a community like that? Not to mention that the US is the only major country that doesn't provide paid sick/parental leave, healthcare. Our prescriptions costs are the highest in the world. Many other developed countries pay for their citizens to get a bachelor degree. They have much less corruption in the political system and aren't allowing the oligarchs to take control. US has highest pay disparity between rich and poor of any country. We are trying to move out of the US for the same reason- we don't want our kids to think this is normal or ok.
It's ok honey. The men are going to take care of everything. You'll be better off for it.
1. Perhaps the most apt screen name I've encountered. 2. You've probably made OP's case better than she did. 3. Canada navigated Covid in a competent way - it was just a minority (thankfully) of crybabies like you who couldn't be inconvenienced to save lives. 4. Netanyahu is not the "president of the jews", you f**king moron. He's the PRIME MIINISTER of Israel. A State. Not head of the Jewish religion.
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