Amidst finding a venue, curating the perfect playlist, and trying cake flavors, it’s all too likely that the soon-to-be-married couple will have to deal with people who get a little too excited and interfere with the planning process. While they might not even realize this, they rarely make matters easier leading up to the big day.

This bride shared a similar experience when her sister was trying to change the timeline of her wedding because it clashed with her son’s naptime. However, she was quickly shut down, which pushed her to opt out of the celebration entirely.

Scroll down to find the full story and a conversation with Charity Johnson, lead planner and owner of Charity Lynn Weddings, who kindly agreed to give us some pointers on how to handle difficult people amidst wedding preparations.

Amidst the wedding planning, it’s all too likely the couple will have to deal with quite a few difficult people

Image credits: Israel Humberto / Pexels (not the actual photo)

For this bride, it was her sister who demanded to change the wedding schedule because her son needed sleep

Image credits: Helena Lopes / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Liza Summer / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Glass_Marzipan5856

Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels (not the actual photo)

The first step towards dealing with difficult people during wedding planning is to establish healthy boundaries

Charity Johnson, lead planner and owner of Charity Lynn Weddings, tells Bored Panda that many people feel tempted to have a say in others’ weddings because they think their way of doing something is the best one. However, they often do this with good intentions. “I believe that the real motivation is a desire to help the couple out, but it often comes across as overbearing and can easily overwhelm the couple,” she says.

“My best suggestion for the well-meaning friend or family member is to ask if the couple would like some extra input. Otherwise, it is best to keep the extra opinions quiet. There are many decisions to make while wedding planning and well-meaning advice can quickly overwhelm the decision-makers. The only people who should have a say in the wedding decisions are the couple and those paying for the wedding.”

Whether that’s a pushy mother-in-law or an entitled sibling, there are ways to navigate difficult people during the wedding planning process while prioritizing well-being and mental health. The first step towards it is to establish healthy boundaries. This might be uncomfortable for some, but it’s essential to ensure that the big day goes without any hiccups. 

Johnson suggests, “Set boundaries early in the planning process and stick to those boundaries. If there are difficult people trying to interfere with the planning process, be honest with them but gracious. Most people are just trying to be helpful and don’t realize that they are actually making the planning more difficult.”

If the partners are people-pleasers and aren’t able to assert themselves, she further advises appointing these responsibilities to someone whom they trust. “It is important to have someone in your corner who will help you navigate those difficult people. I also recommend sitting down with your fiancé and deciding on your priorities before you bring anyone else into the planning. Setting your priorities will help you stay focused during the planning and also help you have the right words when someone is infringing on what you want,” Johnson explains.

Image credits: Liza Summer / Pexels (not the actual photo)

The couple can better manage stress and emotions caused by difficult people by preparing for them ahead of time

Something that can help the couple manage stress and emotions when faced with difficult people is preparing for them ahead of time. “Decide how you will respond when the bridesmaids complain that you are not spending enough time with them or when Great Aunt Sally wants to have a special part of your ceremony,” Johnson says.

“It takes some pre-planning but will be so helpful. I also encourage all my couples to each have one person with whom they can openly share their frustrations. Sometimes the couple just needs to share what is bothering them, and then it is gone. This person can be a best friend, a parent, or a planner.

I am often the emotional sounding board for my couples as they navigate difficult relationships. And finally, it is absolutely okay to not be responsible for everyone else’s feelings and issues. The couple should not be spending time trying to please everyone. It is not possible and will just make everything so much more stressful.”

When you feel like your loved ones are intruding on your wedding planning too much, it’s often because they want to feel included in the creation of your special day. Something that can keep their excited energy elsewhere is assigning them duties like dabbling in some DIYs or helping to research florists or caterers. This will take some things off the couple’s list, and the relatives will feel involved in the big day without distracting them. 

Johnson concludes by saying, “Wedding planning should be a joyous journey!!! Every couple has an epic love story that deserves to be told in a unique and special way. Unfortunately, there will be outside voices that will try to convince the couple to do it differently. If the couple knows their ideals, their vision, and their priorities, then it will be much easier to navigate the difficult, external thoughts and opinions.”

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