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Woman Is Sure That She Can’t Find A Date Because She’s Intelligent And Attractive, Netizens Agree
Beauty might be in the eye of the beholder, but being a brainy bombshell? That’s a whole different ball game. For many women, this combo can turn the dating scene into a wild rollercoaster. Imagine being constantly asked by people why you’re single, as they just assume you must be swatting away suitors like pesky flies, when the reality is that men are more likely to run for the hills than ask you out.
Welcome to the wonderfully weird world where being too fabulous is actually a problem.
More info: TikTok
TikTok star reveals in her recent video why she thinks she’s still single, despite having the looks and the brains
Image credits: ashbabank
“Men don’t like me. Men are very, very terrified of me”: The TikToker thinks that her beauty, intelligence and success are intimidating for men
Image credits: stayustyles
Meet Ashley, aka @ashbabank, a TikToker who recently dropped a bombshell about her love life or, more accurately, the lack thereof. Ashley is a fashion stylist and a certified stunner, as she likes to call herself. But despite her looks and sharp mind, she’s still “very single.” Why? According to her, men are just plain terrified of her. Yep, you heard it right.
In her recent TikTok video, Ashley spills the tea on her dating struggles. People are often surprised when they find out she’s not taken. She hasn’t had a romantic interest in a long time, months, really, and she’s left wondering why her beauty and brains seem to scare men off. “Men don’t like me. Men are very, very terrified of me,” says Ashley, hinting that her success and good looks might be to blame.
“I am merely just a fantasy. I am not a real human”: The TikToker thinks she is still single because she is only attracting unavailable men
Image credits: George Pak (not the actual photo)
This issue seems to have become more common, since societal norms and expectations create more obstacles for confident, successful women in the dating scene. According to an article on the topic, “for most men, strength and independence are actually attractive qualities. What is repelling and unattractive to men is when a woman engages with them with strong masculine energy.” In some cases, confidence can be mistaken for arrogance, and independence can be seen as a lack of need for a partner, which would explain why some men may feel insecure or threatened by women who challenge them.
Ashley’s blunt declaration sparked a flood of responses, with many TikTok users chiming in with their own experiences and Ashley’s fans didn’t hold back in the comments. Many people, especially women, resonate with Ashley’s situation. They feel that their looks and ambition can sometimes be more of an obstacle than a help in the romance department. One commenter noted, “Been told I’m intimidating my whole life. Men don’t even approach me cause they think I have too many options.” Another shared “They idealize you, then at the end resent and hate you for everything they loved and adored about you at the beginning, because you bring out all their insecurities. Still single, but happy.”
Image credits: fauxels (not the actual photo)
Watch the full video here
@ashbabanklonely life when you know your worth😮💨♬ original sound – A$H
According to a study published online in the APA Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, men tend to feel worse about themselves when recalling situations where their female partner succeeded and they did not. This doesn’t mean all men feel this way, but it does highlight a common issue in modern dating dynamics.
The ambition of women in pursuing big careers on the same level as men can often create friction for the more insecure of men. The researchers showed that men’s self-esteem was affected regardless of whether their female partner’s achievements were social or intellectual. Men subconsciously felt worse about themselves when their partner succeeded rather than failed.
Image credits: Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer (not the actual photo)
It seems like this single lady is happy with her single status for now, focusing on knowing her worth and living her best life. Her video’s caption sums it up perfectly: “Lonely life when you know your worth.” And honestly, who can argue with that? It’s better to be single and thriving than settling for someone who can’t handle your sparkle.
What’s your take on this story? Share your little nuggets of dating wisdom in the comment section.
Women in the comments relate to the TikToker’s video, saying that confidence and ambition can be major romantic obstacles
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What do you think ?
Melissa anderson 5 months ago
Her personality is ugly as sin. Nobody likes a stuck up narcissist. That’s why she can’t get dates. She’s obnoxious.
Sunny Day 5 months ago
Yup. As my dad would say "she thinks her s**t don't stink but her farts give her away."
Load More Replies...
Trev Fontaine 5 months ago
Telling us how pretty and smart she is sounds like a turn off. Then your job is being an influencer and never using your brain
Kurtz Frausun 5 months ago
In my years of dating, I've learned one BIG red flag: When a woman brags about being so amazing, yet still single, she's a pain in the a*s to deal with. Hence, why she's single.
Scott Rackley 5 months ago
Someone, somewhere is tired of her s**t. Probably more than one.
Load More Replies...
S. E. in Indiana 5 months ago
I guess I don't understand her statement. Because she is not that good looking to begin with. And so far, she has said nothing to prove she is that smart. Oh well, to each their own.
Colin Matthews 5 months ago
Oh yawn. Another anti male bit of dross masquerading as an article…
Christos Arvanitis 5 months ago
"Ashley is a fashion stylist and a certified stunner, as she likes to call herself...". Going out on a limb and saying that it's her narcissism.
iseefractals 5 months ago
Could it be that people, not just men, but all people simply don't want anything to do with anyone who not only sings their own praises, but does it in such a way as to belittle half the population in the most public and attention seeking manner possible? Confidence is about taking action....talking yourself up while blaming everyone else for YOUR problems is narcissism. More bluntly, for her looks she's an ohio 5 and personality a L.A 2
TheAmericanAmerican 5 months ago
There's NOTHING "smart" or "attractive" about being an influencer.
George Costanza 5 months ago
If she's an "influencer" then I don't see what's so smart about her. And her looks are above average but certainly not amazing. My wife is beautiful and a very intelligent medial professional. In no way was I too intimidated to be with her. This woman just sucks.
Caroline Starr 5 months ago
Are you my son-in-law? He talks about my daughter (a media professional) the same way. They found each other when she was 28, and married when she was 32, she proposed.
Load More Replies...
The_Nicest_Misanthrope 5 months ago
Maybe nobody wants to date you because you're up your own a**e? Just a thought
Ash 5 months ago
For many years, I couldn't understand why men never seemed to be attracted to me. ...Turns out I'm just WILDLY flirt-blind, and unless you are VERY direct with me, I am completely oblivious. A guy even asked me out once and I only realized like half an hour later that he meant as a DATE.
All profits to charity 5 months ago
When she says “I am a fantasy” she means “I am fantasizing”. Fixed your verbs for you.
Dirk Daring 5 months ago
She's giving "Must be at least 6 feet tall, Muscular, make over $250,000 per year, own a mansion and a yacht, take me on world travel..."
Doctor Strange 5 months ago
Yep, the 'amusement park ride' girl. IE "You must be at least this tall to ride"
Load More Replies... Skeeter McClusky 5 months ago
Somewhere out there is a guy who dated her in the past, rolling his eyes. He could tell you a hundred stories about how nuts she is and the real reason why she's single. She's a TikToker trying to get views, and it worked.
ConstantlyJon 5 months ago
I agree that there are women who are smart and pretty and successful and that can be intimidating to pursue. My daughter is 17 and I think a lot of the boys who would otherwise ask her out are kept away by her independence and strength for sure. She's absolutely beautiful, like her mother, 4.0 student, incredible athlete, extremely funny and charismatic, yet has not really had a boyfriend or dated. However, unlike this influencer, she's humble. She's earned everything she has. She is compassionate and giving. Some day, some guy who already knows his worth is gonna recognize how priceless she really is and actually have the balls to think he can match it. That's what I did with my wife. She's young and has lots of time, but I think she feels like sentiment for sure.
Auntriarch 5 months ago
Bless your daughter, I hope she realises sooner than later that her effect on blokes is basically an arsëhole filter.
Load More Replies... 
Wysteria_Rose 5 months ago
This just seems like the woman equivalent of "I'm just too much of a nice guy and women don't like nice guys."
Grumpy Old Broad 5 months ago
If she's so amazing, she should be happy just being with herself. I don't think she'd ever consider anyone else to be good enough for her.
axle f 5 months ago
...perhaps you're exactly and completely and comprehensively right. perhaps you're an obnoxious asshat. I can't say definitively based on a short video across the internet. I lean towards asshat, though...
Ionut R 5 months ago
Successful and confident might be only in their mind. If on the other side is an obnoxious, rude, narcissist person, then yea, no surprise there. Also under-boob, between the boobs tattoos are a huge red-flag that screams "chose me if you want an attention seeking freak" ...
Giraffy Window 5 months ago (edited)
I couldn't finish watching the video. She is definitely gorgeous, but the second she started talking, all that came out was a slurry of thinly veiled loneliness, insecurity, hurts, and desperation hedged in by a very spiky defensiveness. There's plenty of men out there who would adore someone brimming with intelligence, looks, and success, but she's not going to meet any of them till she takes off those s**t-smeared glasses that make her think all men are just plain s****y. Poor girl.
Max Fox 5 months ago (edited)
There are no lack of men who are interested in smart and pretty women, and vice versa. However, men and women who are delusional about how smart and good looking they are will find it difficult to have a relationship. That character is not "sharp", nor is there any evidence that she is smart enough to be intimidating to anybody. I have spent my life among women who are good looking and super smart, and this tik-tokker is not at the level to be called "intimidating". I am surrounded by super smart and good looking women, and that woman would not measure up to a single one of them. Almost all have SOs, or have had in the past, and most single ones initiated their break ups.
Ephemera Image 5 months ago
She thinks she is beautiful? I see a vapid face devoid of any interesting features that looks boring af. Let's face it, what does she offer? Has she travelled the world, done anything interesting or have any passion for things other than herself that would make her an interesting person to converse with? When you consider yourself beautiful, you may be surprised to hear the rest of the world has other standards of attractiveness in people.
Melissa anderson 5 months ago
Her personality is ugly as sin. Nobody likes a stuck up narcissist. That’s why she can’t get dates. She’s obnoxious.
Sunny Day 5 months ago
Yup. As my dad would say "she thinks her s**t don't stink but her farts give her away."
Load More Replies... Trev Fontaine 5 months ago
Telling us how pretty and smart she is sounds like a turn off. Then your job is being an influencer and never using your brain
Kurtz Frausun 5 months ago
In my years of dating, I've learned one BIG red flag: When a woman brags about being so amazing, yet still single, she's a pain in the a*s to deal with. Hence, why she's single.
Scott Rackley 5 months ago
Someone, somewhere is tired of her s**t. Probably more than one.
Load More Replies... S. E. in Indiana 5 months ago
I guess I don't understand her statement. Because she is not that good looking to begin with. And so far, she has said nothing to prove she is that smart. Oh well, to each their own.
Colin Matthews 5 months ago
Oh yawn. Another anti male bit of dross masquerading as an article…
Christos Arvanitis 5 months ago
"Ashley is a fashion stylist and a certified stunner, as she likes to call herself...". Going out on a limb and saying that it's her narcissism.
iseefractals 5 months ago
Could it be that people, not just men, but all people simply don't want anything to do with anyone who not only sings their own praises, but does it in such a way as to belittle half the population in the most public and attention seeking manner possible? Confidence is about taking action....talking yourself up while blaming everyone else for YOUR problems is narcissism. More bluntly, for her looks she's an ohio 5 and personality a L.A 2
TheAmericanAmerican 5 months ago
There's NOTHING "smart" or "attractive" about being an influencer.
George Costanza 5 months ago
If she's an "influencer" then I don't see what's so smart about her. And her looks are above average but certainly not amazing. My wife is beautiful and a very intelligent medial professional. In no way was I too intimidated to be with her. This woman just sucks.
Caroline Starr 5 months ago
Are you my son-in-law? He talks about my daughter (a media professional) the same way. They found each other when she was 28, and married when she was 32, she proposed.
Load More Replies... The_Nicest_Misanthrope 5 months ago
Maybe nobody wants to date you because you're up your own a**e? Just a thought
Ash 5 months ago
For many years, I couldn't understand why men never seemed to be attracted to me. ...Turns out I'm just WILDLY flirt-blind, and unless you are VERY direct with me, I am completely oblivious. A guy even asked me out once and I only realized like half an hour later that he meant as a DATE.
All profits to charity 5 months ago
When she says “I am a fantasy” she means “I am fantasizing”. Fixed your verbs for you.
Dirk Daring 5 months ago
She's giving "Must be at least 6 feet tall, Muscular, make over $250,000 per year, own a mansion and a yacht, take me on world travel..."
Doctor Strange 5 months ago
Yep, the 'amusement park ride' girl. IE "You must be at least this tall to ride"
Load More Replies... Skeeter McClusky 5 months ago
Somewhere out there is a guy who dated her in the past, rolling his eyes. He could tell you a hundred stories about how nuts she is and the real reason why she's single. She's a TikToker trying to get views, and it worked.
ConstantlyJon 5 months ago
I agree that there are women who are smart and pretty and successful and that can be intimidating to pursue. My daughter is 17 and I think a lot of the boys who would otherwise ask her out are kept away by her independence and strength for sure. She's absolutely beautiful, like her mother, 4.0 student, incredible athlete, extremely funny and charismatic, yet has not really had a boyfriend or dated. However, unlike this influencer, she's humble. She's earned everything she has. She is compassionate and giving. Some day, some guy who already knows his worth is gonna recognize how priceless she really is and actually have the balls to think he can match it. That's what I did with my wife. She's young and has lots of time, but I think she feels like sentiment for sure.
Auntriarch 5 months ago
Bless your daughter, I hope she realises sooner than later that her effect on blokes is basically an arsëhole filter.
Load More Replies... Wysteria_Rose 5 months ago
This just seems like the woman equivalent of "I'm just too much of a nice guy and women don't like nice guys."
Grumpy Old Broad 5 months ago
If she's so amazing, she should be happy just being with herself. I don't think she'd ever consider anyone else to be good enough for her.
axle f 5 months ago
...perhaps you're exactly and completely and comprehensively right. perhaps you're an obnoxious asshat. I can't say definitively based on a short video across the internet. I lean towards asshat, though...
Ionut R 5 months ago
Successful and confident might be only in their mind. If on the other side is an obnoxious, rude, narcissist person, then yea, no surprise there. Also under-boob, between the boobs tattoos are a huge red-flag that screams "chose me if you want an attention seeking freak" ...
Giraffy Window 5 months ago (edited)
I couldn't finish watching the video. She is definitely gorgeous, but the second she started talking, all that came out was a slurry of thinly veiled loneliness, insecurity, hurts, and desperation hedged in by a very spiky defensiveness. There's plenty of men out there who would adore someone brimming with intelligence, looks, and success, but she's not going to meet any of them till she takes off those s**t-smeared glasses that make her think all men are just plain s****y. Poor girl.
Max Fox 5 months ago (edited)
There are no lack of men who are interested in smart and pretty women, and vice versa. However, men and women who are delusional about how smart and good looking they are will find it difficult to have a relationship. That character is not "sharp", nor is there any evidence that she is smart enough to be intimidating to anybody. I have spent my life among women who are good looking and super smart, and this tik-tokker is not at the level to be called "intimidating". I am surrounded by super smart and good looking women, and that woman would not measure up to a single one of them. Almost all have SOs, or have had in the past, and most single ones initiated their break ups.
Ephemera Image 5 months ago
She thinks she is beautiful? I see a vapid face devoid of any interesting features that looks boring af. Let's face it, what does she offer? Has she travelled the world, done anything interesting or have any passion for things other than herself that would make her an interesting person to converse with? When you consider yourself beautiful, you may be surprised to hear the rest of the world has other standards of attractiveness in people.
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