Man Defends Mom’s Unannounced Visits Until Wife’s Post Goes Viral, Confrontation Turns Ugly

Marrying a person does mean, for better or worse, marrying into their family. Sometimes this just means more people around for the holidays and sometimes it means having to deal with some of the most entitled and delusional people showing up at your house.

A woman shared her horrible encounter with a MIL who would just show up unannounced and start making demands. After her husband failed to back her up sufficiently, she decided to have a sitdown. Fortunately, we all got a little closure, as she later shared a sizable update on how the situation was resolved.

Unannounced houseguests are the worst

Woman in yellow gloves cleaning a mirror, reflecting a tidy room.

Image credits: SHVETS production / Pexels (not the actual photo)

But one woman had the misfortune to have to deal with a MIL who just showed up at random times

Text about MIL visiting unannounced, causing conflict over notification etiquette.

Text excerpt discussing an unannounced visit from MIL, highlighting the need for prior notification.

Woman in white suit sitting with arms crossed, looking displeased, highlighting MIL visiting unannounced.

Image credits: Darina Belonogova / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Text of a conversation about a MIL visiting unannounced and discussion on guest etiquette.

Text conversation with MIL joking about an embarrassing encounter.

Text conversation about MIL visiting unannounced and family argument over boundaries.

Image credits: anonymous

Man Defends Mom’s Unannounced Visits Until Wife’s Post Goes Viral, Confrontation Turns Ugly

Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto / Pexels (not the actual photo)

It’s important to not let random people tell you that they should be allowed to walk over you

Unlike random strangers, family in general and in laws in particular can be hard to deal with because you generally can’t just slam the door and yell “go away” without repercussions. Cutting ties with family members is just a lot harder, as is avoiding them, as this story just goes to show.

The word “boundaries” tends to get thrown around a lot, often leaving some folks believing it’s another bit of “therapy speak” (which it is) but this doesn’t diminish the fact that this is a very important idea. As a human, you need to be able to tell people when and where they stop when it comes to your time and space.

In short, narcissists will often attempt to gaslight people (another therapy speak buzzword, but no less valid) that they are entitled to your time, attention and energy. For example, in this story, the MIL attempts to shame the woman for not wanting to immediately entertain her, despite zero warning. This sort of behavior is absolutely horrible and tends to come out during large holidays which, traditionally, folks spend together.

When asked to just give a warning, she spins this into some personal attack, as if sending a text message ahead of time is the same as somehow barring her from seeing her son. This is classic narcissist behavior, where they attempt to shame people by claiming victimhood after being told to respect a boundary.

Man Defends Mom’s Unannounced Visits Until Wife’s Post Goes Viral, Confrontation Turns Ugly

Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Enforcing boundaries can be pretty hard for chronic people pleasers

Unfortunately, her husband does not take her side in this particular story. This is often one of the main issues people face when it comes to horrible in-laws. They need their significant other to back them up but they either pretend to not see the issue or even take their parent’s side. As many of the commenters noted, she has as much a MIL problem as she has a husband problem.

It’s also important to note that boundaries don’t even have to be as extreme, it’s perfectly normal to have topics you don’t want to talk about or to set certain limits. People pleasers might struggle with this, but at the end of the day, you are just asking people to respect you, which begs the question, if someone does not want to respect you, why are you trying to please them in the first place? Saying no is ultimately both better for you and your relationships.

Ultimately, there can always be some give and take. A boundary can be crossed, but it’s worth communicating how you feel and allowing someone to make amends. However, as this woman shared in the update, which can be found beyond the comments below, this does not seem like it’s going to happen in this case.

Some folks needed more info

Text exchange about MIL arriving unannounced, sparking discussion on needing advance notice for visits.

Reddit advice on handling MIL visiting unannounced, suggesting communication and boundaries.

Reddit thread discussing a mother-in-law visiting unannounced, causing conflict with the husband's support.

Readers also called out her husband and shared their thoughts

Text comment discussing a husband problem in a relationship issue.

Reddit comment discussing unannounced MIL visit issue and suggesting a relationship problem.

Text exchange discussing MIL visiting unannounced and the need for setting boundaries.

Comment discussing MIL visiting unannounced and suggesting setting boundaries and changing locks.

Text message about MIL visiting unannounced and disrupting privacy, sparking a discussion on respectful boundaries.

A Reddit comment about the importance of inviting guests before entertaining them.

Text comment about MIL visiting unannounced, advising partner to handle the situation better.

Text message expressing frustration about unannounced visits in modern times.

Comment on surprise guests being inconveniences, highlighting how rude it is to show up unannounced.

Text screenshot discussing importance of privacy from MIL visits and feeling safe at home.

Text conveying advice on setting boundaries with a mother-in-law who visits unannounced.

Text conversation about MIL arriving unannounced and causing conflict, highlighting a husband's reaction.

Text comment criticizing a husband's lack of support in a family issue.

Text screenshot discussing MIL showing up unannounced, causing issues.

Text discussion about MIL visiting unannounced and her sense of entitlement.

Text comments discussing setting boundaries with a mother-in-law.

Text comment about MIL arriving unannounced and causing tension in the household.

Later, she posted a sizable update

Text about discussing MIL's unannounced visits and setting boundaries in a marriage.

Text discussing MIL visiting unannounced, needing prior notice, and emotional family conversation.

Text messages expressing anger over unannounced visits, mentioning control issues with MIL.

Text message expressing frustration over unannounced visits, highlighting family boundaries and need for prior notice.

An older woman with takeout coffee checks her phone, illustrating unexpected visit dynamics.

Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Text message expressing tension over unannounced visits by MIL, mentioning an apology and lack of prior warning.

Text exchange highlighting MIL unannounced visit and subsequent upset confrontation.

Text conversation about MIL visiting unannounced, showing an argument and an apology.

Text about preparing for unannounced visits from MIL, discussing new security measures like locks and a doorbell camera.

Image credits: anonymous

Netizens gave a few suggestions

Comment discussing an unannounced visit from MIL causing upset, suggesting boundaries.

Text advice on handling MIL visits, with suggestions for managing apologies and husband support.

Text exchange discussing MIL unexpectedly visiting and emotional family response.

Text post discussing a grandpa's saying about being filled with spite, disgust, and narcissism.

Text conversation about mother-in-law visiting unannounced, emphasizes need to ask permission before coming over.

Poll Question

Thanks! Check out the results:

I am a writer at Bored Panda. Despite being born in the US, I ended up spending most of my life in Europe, from Latvia, Austria, and Georgia to finally settling in Lithuania. At Bored Panda, you’ll find me covering topics ranging from the cat meme of the day to red flags in the workplace and really anything else. In my free time, I enjoy hiking, beating other people at board games, cooking, good books, and bad films.

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I am a Visual editor at Bored Panda, I'm determined to find the most interesting and the best quality images for each post that I do. On my free time I like to unwind by doing some yoga, watching all kinds of movies/tv shows, playing video and board games or just simply hanging out with my cat

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What do you think ?

POST

Bat cat in a hat 5 days ago

MIL is a psycho!

20points

Susy Hammond 5 days ago

I live with my daughter and her family in a 3 story house. I live in the basement apt and their private enclave is the top floor. I do not go to the top floor unless asked. I cannot imagine being like that MIL. Nightmare. My MIL was the best, even after the divorce!

14points

Traveling Lady Railfan 5 days ago

I've said it before I'll say it again, "document document document." Doesn't mean you should be recording every conversation happening around you all the time Just protect yourself. If someone sends you crazy texts, screenshot them. If somebody's yelling and screaming (and you can,) take out your phone and record it. Take photos. Because once the moment is passed and you have no documentation, it becomes your word against theirs. MIL writing all those horrible things, sending them, deleting them on her end and proving to her son that she did nothing wrong by showing the edited conversation would have put husband in a difficult position., taking screenshots of them proves it. I'm glad after the whole world gave their response to OP and this was shared with husband that he saw the light and started supporting wife. Glad they changed the lock, and added a camera. I think more needs to be done here. This isn't a simple misunderstanding about boundaries, this is way worse than that

13points

Rachel Hendricks 4 hours ago

MIL needs serious professional help, and possibly a restraining order.

0points

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POST

Bat cat in a hat 5 days ago

MIL is a psycho!

20points

Susy Hammond 5 days ago

14points

Traveling Lady Railfan 5 days ago

13points